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Anyone else had funny reactions when telling people ur pregnant?

(70 Posts)
amy246 Tue 21-Jan-14 19:34:14

Told my nan we were expecting and all she said was 'but you don't own your own house!' Ha ha ha! Anyone else had unusual reactions?

sharkey1187 Tue 21-Jan-14 19:44:38

I work with quite straight talking individuals (nature of the job).... Top questions I've had this week...

1. So was it planned? Or just a surprise?! Erm.... I'd rather not say!
2. Didn't you fancy saving up first? Since when did you know more about my finances than I do..
3. Oh you aren't doing that morning sickness thing are you? Yes, I chose to vomit on my way to work every day.....

sarahquilt Tue 21-Jan-14 19:48:28

My dad asked if it was planned...cringe

PinkandPoo Tue 21-Jan-14 19:56:08

When DH told MIL she said "silly boy" like he was about 3 (he was 35).

When my sister told my Nanna she said "what did you let him do THAT to you for?" grin (she was unmarried at the time).

Legalbaby79 Tue 21-Jan-14 19:56:55

Ahhh are you planning on getting married (followed by a pitying head tilt)!!!!

Cariad007 Tue 21-Jan-14 20:11:52

"So you're keeping it" was the weirdest one I got - as if I'd go around telling people if I wasn't!

MrsCharlieD Tue 21-Jan-14 20:55:38

I didn't get bad reactions when i told people i was expecting but when we found out it was a boy i got lots of "oh well never mind". As if Im upset Im having a boy? What the??? Im so happily be carrying my son. X

LynetteScavo Tue 21-Jan-14 21:09:42

MIL took DH aside after we'd told her I was pregnant, and said "You don't have to have this baby, you know." Erm... he wasn't having the baby, I was - and I was four months pregnant and thrilled!

(But then she also took him aside before our wedding and told him he didn't have to marry me. I think he knew that already. hmm)

My boss just stood open mouthed and staring at me for about 5 minutes. How she hadn't guessed I was pregnant, as I'd had hideous morning sickness (and kept gobbling her biscuits) for the past month, I've no idea. She then bought me a Miriam Stoppard book about pregnancy. Like I hadn't already go my own hardback copygrin but it was very sweet of her.

My Grandma just asked me what I was going to call the baby "Nothing foreign I hope". This coming from a woman who didn't step foot in the UK until she was in her 50's! grin

DH's grandma poured me an alcoholic drink to celebrate. I didn't know what to do with it!

Strongecoffeeismydrug Tue 21-Jan-14 21:25:35

18 years ago when I was ex pecking the first partners grandma said " but you haven't got a garden"!
No congratulations just the above statement.
She then went on to tell me to not eat for two as I was fat enough!
Lovely women she was grin

gwenniebee Tue 21-Jan-14 21:31:45

Someone at work asked me if it was planned, too. In fairness, I think this was because I was only relatively recently in the job. As it was, we had been ttc for 3+ years so it was very much planned, and still a very big surprised!

Weirdest in many ways were our neighbours who said nothing, just pursed lips and haven't spoken to us on friendly terms since. (Although I did get sworn at for singing to grumpy dd in the summer...)

DH's grandma who is in her 80s....'oh but I like you the way you are....you've got a nice figure' (which is so not true!) and 'oh she's only 30' (I'm 28 hmm ) and 'could you not have got have got off the bus one stop earlier?' To DH grin

I can only assume she thought it wasn't exactly planned....however we have been together 12 years, and married and trying for over 4 and resorted to IVF so most definitely planned!

Hubbythecatandme Tue 21-Jan-14 22:49:56

How weird to hear of people's reactions!!!!!!
Our friends are mostly young professional without kids and most of them never mention it, make a fuss or get excited about it so hubby and I have realized we love our friends but people with children are much more fun to talk babies with!

Alb1 Wed 22-Jan-14 00:18:54

I didn't have any bad reactions, but when I told my mum she cried so hysterically for the first 10mins that she cudnt speak (happy crying) followed by screechy talk about how she was just so happy, an she new it'd happen one day but she was just so surprised. I didn't no what to do with myself I was so embarrassed. Needless to say I felt a little awkward when I miscarried 2 weeks later. Thankfully she was a lot calmer when I told her about this pregnancy

livingzuid Wed 22-Jan-14 04:55:07

From mum - oh you'll miscarry don't get your hopes up. Which I then did two weeks later. With this pg we waited till 13 weeks to tell anyone!

slimsoon Wed 22-Jan-14 05:03:39

Because she was pregnant a couple of months before I was , my 35yr old sister went mental and said I'd copied her and can't she do anything without me doing the same.
Weirdo.

dizhin79 Wed 22-Jan-14 06:58:50

Eeek I had to give a bad reaction, 'who's is it?', 'who's that then?' to my dear sister who now has a 1 year old with a delightful racist pig shock!!

schokolade Wed 22-Jan-14 07:00:59

These are funny, and some are quite sad.

Our funniest reaction was "you can't afford a baby because you can't afford a car". We had never talked about finances or cars with this acquaintance. Weirder still, we HAVE a car, and are not exactly hard up!

karatekimmi Wed 22-Jan-14 07:05:44

Oh congratulations, do you know who the father is? Erm my husband!!

He meant well, just lived in Jeremy Kyle land!!

PenelopePipPop Wed 22-Jan-14 08:15:33

I liked 'How did that happen then?' from DH's best mate.

Wasn't sure what level of detail was required...

Mummytobe2014 Wed 22-Jan-14 10:40:31

One of my work colleagues was heard saying "it shouldnt be her, it should be me"

Nice, why should it be anyone over anyone else, we havent really spoken since and she asks nothing about the pregnancy - jealousy i think!

MissSlackPants84 Wed 22-Jan-14 11:01:46

One of my best mates was really rude about it. Aparantly I'm now going to neglect her and never go out again...I'm so selfish!

rockin20s Wed 22-Jan-14 11:18:14

when i told my friend she burst out the she was expecting too, out due dates are a week apart

I told my boss early as he had just told me my job was looking unstable, so i burst out crying and told him, he looked shocked (i dont know why as i had gotton married 4 months before) and apologized for putting this extra stress on me then asked if it was planned. ah yes, i had just got married and am 28 so no not a mistake!

im still only 6 weeks so havent told anyone else yet, dont think my dad will be too happy i think he sees me as becoming the CAO of the company of work for and being amazing, not a stay at home mom. ah well.

ChicaMomma Wed 22-Jan-14 11:57:39

Ours was a honeymoon baby so i think a lot of people were quite shocked and then jealous, well, the ones who it took 1 yr + to get pregnant seemed to be and could hardly conceal their lack of happiness. I suppose i can somewhat understand that too. Some were very visibly bitter about it but that's their issue not mine so i just move on from it and hope it'll happen as easily for us next time too!

gemmaj66 Wed 22-Jan-14 12:02:12

When I was having DC1 many moons ago my mum was breaking the news to an elderly aunt we didn't see very often. Auntie stared at me in horror and shrieked:

'But you're only fifteen!'

I was actually 21! But now I'm in my 40's with several nieces and nephews I can appreciate her confusion - it can be hard to keep track! grin

SaucyJack Wed 22-Jan-14 12:04:28

"Is it too late to do something about it?"

Thanks mum (!)

bideyinn Wed 22-Jan-14 12:10:09

'Who is the father' from my mum, despite me living with Dp (now ex) for several years

BettyMacdonald Wed 22-Jan-14 12:17:57

These gems were from my lovely, if somewhat barking, next door neighbour when I told her I was preg with my first -

"Oooo! Was it planned? (I was 30 and married, not that that matters)

And with my second -

"Oh dear! Are you going to keep it?"

hmmshock

Luckily we moved before we had the third! grin

Serobin Wed 22-Jan-14 12:39:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MPB Wed 22-Jan-14 12:49:32

I had a fair few when I got upduffed with DS1

SIL - 'fucking hell' fuck off

BF F when told over phone ...'oh, oh, let me sit down' it's alright love it ain't yours'

And cow bag child hater at work
'Are you going to keep it then'
fuck off to the far side of fuck, and then fuck off some more

I was 26 FGS, a home owner, had been with my the fiancé for almost 10 years, and we were getting married in May as I found out I was expecting in March! I just couldn't understand people's reaction. Weirdos! grin

mandbaby Wed 22-Jan-14 13:00:05

When I was pregnant with DS1, I wrote our news to my mum in a Mothers Day Card. The reply said "lots of love from <our names> and our 12 week old bump".

She opened the card and read it without her glasses on. Her reply was "what's 'burp'?" My bump's name remained "burp" until after he was born!

mandbaby Wed 22-Jan-14 13:01:51

I'm staggered at some of these replies! Some of you know some very rude people! Who would announce that they were pregnant if they didn't plan on keeping it?! What a stupid and insensitive thing for people to ask!!

I had been waiting to start IVF, so had saved holiday and my boss (a mother of 2) knew there would be appts coming up. I then fell pregnant naturally (well, with clomid) and told my boss I wouldn't be needing the IVF appts as I was pregnant. Grin.

She said 'that was a lot of fuss over nothing then, wasn't it?'

I didn't go back after maternity leave.

Anothermrssmith Wed 22-Jan-14 21:11:15

'And you've still been having your periods as normal?!'

That was my (male) boss! I was 9 weeks gone before I found out I was expecting and when I told him that was his reaction! His wife had had a baby a few months earlier and as a result he a)thinks he knows everything about pregnancy and babies and b)has NO internal filter

Both times MIL.

Telling her we were expecting twins..."You just can't do anything properly"
Telling her we were having twin girls..."Oh, but I wanted two boys"

Needless to say we don't get on.

Whatalie Wed 22-Jan-14 21:21:25

My mum told me I wasn't that sort of girl!!! Wtf!! I had been married for 3 years and was 28 when I was became pregnant.

ChaffinchOfDoom Wed 22-Jan-14 21:21:44

about 6 strangers/friends have asked if it was planned. How insensitive! as if you're going to say no. They think they're amusing,.

Whatalie Wed 22-Jan-14 21:22:57

Oh and a mum and school when she found out I was pregnant with DC3 asked "how will you afford it" and "did you want it". Never spoke to her again.

MoreSkyThanWeNeed Wed 22-Jan-14 21:27:11

SIL said "I knew it". For some reason gave me the rage. Hadn't seen her in months and she didn't know, she just wanted to make it about her.
Or maybe I was hormonal and a bit U!

purpleaura Wed 22-Jan-14 21:37:07

SIL and her husband met our good news with silence. The longest 20 seconds of my life later, they changed the subject. I still haven't worked out why.

My grandma, who is lovely but blunt, said 'so are you going to get married then?' She never said congratulations. Now DS is 4 months old and she is completely smitten and never talks about anything else smile

permaquandry Wed 22-Jan-14 21:48:29

My DB's then girlfriend was so upset when I announced my pregnancy, she refused to talk about it. We couldn't mention anything in front of her. Apparently, she was desperate to have children.

My DB and her were not trying for kids or that committed to each other, I, however had been married for 5 years and this was a very much planned pregnancy. They broke up soon after (not because of my pregnancy though).

PartyConfused Wed 22-Jan-14 21:49:38

Telling my boss

"Oh congratulations! That's lovely! Have you told x (dh)?"

My reply

"No, I thought you'd like to know first" hmm

callamia Wed 22-Jan-14 21:53:27

My nan: "what are you going to do about work?"

She takes my career very seriously... I love having a 94 year old feminist as a Nan.

snowqu33n Wed 22-Jan-14 21:58:05

I'm over 40 and my neighbour asked 'Is it normal?' confused
I found that pretty insensitive.

icklekid Thu 23-Jan-14 05:15:48

callamia my mum is very similar! I can't afford to but don't know what she would say if I didn't go back to work! She did think that I would have a full year off though...again unlikely!

ZingSweetApple Thu 23-Jan-14 05:35:41

I'm pg with #7 so yes, had some odd comments this time and before.

I really hate the critical/patronising and "you are mad" ones.
I wish I could just say "fuck off will you" at those! grrrangry

Having sad that I use these reactions to tell who is a good friend and can be trusted - they tend to react really nicely and thoughtfully, because they know me well and care about my feelings!

Party

grin

just ace!

spritesoright Thu 23-Jan-14 10:04:18

MIL said "well it's still early", thanks for the vote of confidence.
Not suprised though as when we had announced our engagement at dinner (several years previous) we got a restrained "congratulations" and then "pass the potatoes" almost immediately.
Very odd.
I love "do you know who the father is?" above. What exactly was she implying karatekimmy??

ZingSweetApple Thu 23-Jan-14 10:33:23

if asked "do you know the sex?" my answer tends to be "yes, that's how I got pregnant!"

grin

Bumblebzz Thu 23-Jan-14 10:49:41

Not to put a downer on things (as some of these responses are hilarious, especially it seems the older generation), but we never know what is going on in someone else's life. They may just have suffered a miscarriage (most happen before the 12 week official announcement) or they may have been trying unsuccessfully for years. It can be very hard to deal with pregnancy announcements when you are grieving in private for your own lost baby.
I have been on both sides - though hopefully I have always been, and seemed, genuinely happy for other people's happy news - and a little sensitivity goes a long way. I miscarried at 11 weeks last year, having tried for 3 years. The loss happened one week before the 12 week milestone (unfortunately I had already told some family and it is hard telling grandparents-to-be that they are no longer "to be"). Now I am pregnant again (20 weeks so hopefully over the hump though I will never really relax) and I have been a lot less forthcoming in telling people. I didn't tell people until past 15 weeks. I also know quite a few people who desperately want a baby, and I don't want to tell them face to face because I don't want them to have to smile and pretend all is well.
x

ZingSweetApple Thu 23-Jan-14 11:33:10

bumble

true, but a simple "Congratulations" is generally well received.
there's no need for idiotic comments or criticism or sarky or patronising reactions.
or fecking pearl clutching and hand wringing.

that's the sort of stuff people object to - when I'm told I'm crazy or how I'll have my hands full ffs!grin

sorry for your loss btw thanks
( I had a MC too.)

Unplastered Thu 23-Jan-14 12:25:41

From my gran "you'll be giving up work then." Not a question. Er, no, actually.

From my brother, who had recently had their second "hahahaha just you wait, loads harder with 2, etc etc etc" accompanied by pointing and laughing. To which DH (who has been married before) replied politely, "you do realise this is my 4th, don't you?"

Weegiemum Thu 23-Jan-14 12:27:23

We told my bil and sil as they came to visit when I was in the throes of ghastly morning sickness.

Bil said "what? On purpose?

ZingSweetApple Thu 23-Jan-14 13:39:54

weegie

I'm rolling my eyes on your behalf. eejits.
Some people have no filters.

next time they come wear an "I'm with stupid" t-shirt.wink

bleedingheart Thu 23-Jan-14 13:51:52

From a colleague (who knew exactly how old I was): How do you feel about being an older mum? Are you the oldest one at the hospital?

I was 27!!!!

insanelycheerful Thu 23-Jan-14 14:13:44

When I told my brother I was pregnant with DC2, his response was "oh surprise surprise."

No congratulations, no oh that's lovely. Just surprise surprise!

I told him early (ie before the 12wk scan) and I've always thought it quite a privilege to be told early. Suffice to say I am now 6weeks with DC3 and will NOT be telling him any time soon!

Pumpkin567 Thu 23-Jan-14 14:22:59

On announcing our second pregnancy.

From inlaws...silence.....followed by silence....then "oh"

toxic twats

AuntieMaggie Thu 23-Jan-14 18:20:13

Mummytobe2014 don't be too hard on her... she may have been trying for a long time...

Charingcrossbun Thu 23-Jan-14 18:46:02

I got lots of "was it planned?" the 2 best replies (that i've not been brave enough to use) are No, we were aiming for bum sex or Yea we've been shagging like made and I stik my legs in the air & pretend I'm Victoria Pendleton!
On a different note:
One of my kids at school (I'm a teacher) having looked at my 16week bump and declared I was preggo (I'd heard lots of whispers but was waiting for one to ask before telling them) and asked with genuine concern "do you still see the father?" wink A bit of a sad reflection on her relationship expectations and norms I'm afraid but did make me smile!

Eatriskier Thu 23-Jan-14 18:58:03

I didn't personally get any, but my DM did when I was expecting DC1. My Sis exploded at her that she was not to be happy or to tell people this is her first grandchild as Sis and her dogs were to come first hmm because I did it to spite her (I am older and was in my 30s and unlike sis was settled down at the time). Needless to say that is just one in a long list of reasons I'm now NC with her...

Mummytobe2014 Thu 23-Jan-14 19:21:36

Auntiemaggie i know thats not the case though and even if it was its not a nice thing to say about anyone! I had troubles in the past but wldnt dream of making such a comment. It was also the way its said to all my colleagues behind my back, thats just nasty.

Claryrocks Thu 23-Jan-14 19:50:27

So what did you say if someone asked if it was planned? I'm expecting my in laws to ask this about my third. They've already hinted that we'd be mad to have a third when we have one of eachhmm Grghhh

ecofreckle Thu 23-Jan-14 19:56:13

"you must remember ecofreckle that you are pregnant not ill" from my female boss who is a (workaholic) mother herself.

ACatCalledBrian Thu 23-Jan-14 20:28:57

My Dad: "Couldn't you have waited until I was 50?" I did point out that it was as much his fault for having me at 24 as it is mine for getting pregnant at 23 that he's a young grandad.

And from my friend: "Do you have to buy different clothes and everything now you're pregnant?" To be fair I doubt he'd put much thought into maternity wear before, but he must have seen the size of a 9 month pregnant woman?

clairesmiles Thu 23-Jan-14 20:44:57

My BIL just said 'is that it?'

I don't to this day know what that was supposed to mean but it was certainly and underwhelming reaction lol!!

xx

clairesmiles Thu 23-Jan-14 20:45:26

an*

Guitargirl Thu 23-Jan-14 20:54:27

We had lots of 'is it planned?' questions.

One colleague reacted to me saying that I had some news with 'Oh God, please don't tell me you're pregnant'

One 'friend' asked if we were going to get married, I replied no, to which her response was 'Oh, nice, so your child is going to be a bastard'

Oh and my boss at the time went on a mission to convince me to get my DD christened when she was born by telling me that if she died she would go straight to hell.

sad

I was so grateful when someone just said a simple 'congratulations'.

Ihavemyownname Thu 23-Jan-14 21:23:47

When I told my dad he came down with his partner from london to have a chat with me. He told me I should have an abortion becuase I would ruin mylife if I kept it and if I didnt he wasnt going to be there for me and he wasnt supporting me and he wasnt going to be paying for anything hmm

icklekid Fri 24-Jan-14 07:03:02

Charingcrossbun also a teacher and 16 weeks still waiting for one of the children or parents to ask as can't hide it anymore! The funny thing is when I wasn't pregnant children asked (had lost weight since now pregnant!)

summerbaby2014 Fri 24-Jan-14 08:09:26

Wowsers! The funniest I had was "when did you conceive?" hmm

Plentyofcats Fri 24-Jan-14 08:25:17

MIL to DH: "we thought you were impotent!"

Nice.

ZingSweetApple Fri 24-Jan-14 10:01:55

plenty

version of it "good to know you're not a jaffa"
confused

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