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Pregnancy is a ticket to calling a women fat :( rant post sorry

(48 Posts)
SweetPea86 Wed 13-Nov-13 17:16:28

At work today and there's a fella from management, typical jack the lad always showing off acting like the big man. (Bit of a sexist pig)

Came up to me today and said hello fatty with a big grin on his face.

I'm 5 months but I don't look pregnant yet.

I'm about a size 14 to 16 so I'm not slim he made me feel like crap.

I few fellas have called me fatty porky etc sines found out I was pregnant. It's as if they always thought that but now I'm preg they have an excuse to actually call me that.

I was so hurt my weight has bothered me since I was 13 I lost about 3 stone and piled it all bk on. I'm not massive just arverge size. But you just don't need to hear that when your body is changing sad

Just needed to rant

Stom91 Wed 13-Nov-13 17:53:25

That's awful. I would have slapped him!!
He's obviously making up for a lack of something ;)

Try to ignore it. Can you go to your manager and say it isn't on and say if it carries on you will take it further and say bullying at work or something?

TheBreastmilksOnMe Wed 13-Nov-13 17:59:31

It's really horrible but have you thought about a witty retort such as 'I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?' That should stop him in his tracks. I second speaking to management about it though.

Beccadugs Wed 13-Nov-13 18:00:33

No suggestions, just sympathy.

It's hard not to feel sensitive about it, and I hate the lack of control...

SweetPea86 Wed 13-Nov-13 18:05:08

I said was kind of stunned that he said it I just said back your a F@£king pig lol

He looked taken aback and then laughed. Smug git.

Hate men like him. Told my hubby when I got home he went mental lol least not all fellas are insenative arseholes lol

I did think of going to management. If he does it again I will

Sounds like a perfect reason to use the MN retort: - "Did you mean to be so rude?" - though I might change it slightly to: "Did you mean To be so offensive?"

SweetPea86 Wed 13-Nov-13 18:06:11

Sorry that made no sense at start of last post I meant when he said it I was totally stunned.

schnockles Wed 13-Nov-13 18:08:23

That's horrible. I had a few people do that to me (also past weight issues but no one really knows about them and I'm not very big...) and my reply was:
"I'm sorry, what did you just call me?"
They felt pretty stupid after repeating the word 'fatty'...! It sounds so much worse the second time around grin

pumpkinkitty Wed 13-Nov-13 18:10:16

My stock answer was 'yes but your face will always look like that'

Littlebean13 Wed 13-Nov-13 19:34:26

It's awful isn't it! I've literally lost count of the amount of men who have found it acceptable to call me fatty over these past couple of months! I've always been a size 8 - 10 so I've never had any big body issues with my weight before but I've struggled slightly to come to terms with my changing body and it really pisses me off that people, mainly ignorant men, feel the need to comment on your weight the second you get pregnant!

IcouldstillbeJoseph Wed 13-Nov-13 19:39:21

I'm a midwife OP and a size 8. When pregnant I gained 5 stone. I was very embarrassed about how big I was. A midwifery colleague walked past me and said "hello fatty". I lost the plot a little bit at her. Wtf. People wouldn't say this normally so why would you do it to a pregnant woman. Beggars belief, thoughtless wanker.

MetellaEstMater Wed 13-Nov-13 20:05:18

The other day I was in the tube and a girl turned to her boyfriend and commented that she hated 'Baby on Board' badges. He looked me up and down and said well thin women don't need them, just fatties who are borderline pregnant.' sad I'm no Kate Moss but usually a 12.

So lots of sympathy OP. thanks

SweetPea86 Wed 13-Nov-13 20:14:35

Really horrible people isn't there. It's so easy to be nice why can't people just give it ago. On the plus I did have a lady say I can belive your 5 months your not showing yet (I'm fat so it's not obvious yet) but still nice to hear and a work college said I look very beuitiful and glowing. Funny the nasty comment over rides the nice ones.

Stom91 Wed 13-Nov-13 21:07:18

A work colleague said to me (who was 8 weeks behind me and was bigger than me I might add) your at that stage where you don't look pregnant yet, just looks like you've eaten a few too many pies!!
Charming!!!

I was 25 weeks then and struggling to come to terms with getting bigger.

Cariad007 Wed 13-Nov-13 21:18:55

Stom, the same was said to me last week. When I told a friend she went "oh so and so was being sociable, lighten up." FFS! And said friend would be the first to moan if someone told her she was fat.

ClearlyMoo Wed 13-Nov-13 21:37:18

Argh!! *joins in ranting* why do people need to comment AT ALL let alone when women are preggo. It's a time when you're feeling different and your body is doing weird things and you're not necessarily feeling confident.

I lost 5 stone in 2012 and kept it off still I got a BFP! I then put 1-1.5stone on in first trimester...

When we told Inlaws I was pregnant (at 12weeks) MIL found it appropriate to say that FIL had said "Sges not lost any weight recently" the week before. I'm livid!!

Just because I lost weight doesn't mean I'm not going to gain any in pregnancy.

No one has any right to x

FobblyWoof Wed 13-Nov-13 22:15:34

If it makes you feel any better my MIL asked me who ate all the pies and said I needed a wide load sign the other week. Suffice to say I've not spoken to her since

ClearlyMoo Wed 13-Nov-13 22:21:57

FobblyWoof argh! That's terrible! There needs to be some worldwide marketing campaign that its not appropriate to comment on pregnant ladies weight!!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Wed 13-Nov-13 22:24:11

complain to HR about him - seriously.

AngryBeaver Wed 13-Nov-13 22:30:35

I'm currently pregnant with dc4.. My belly is HUGE! But I'm only 16.4 days.
I had to pick a tyre up from the garage the other day and said "sorry, could you put it in the boot for me, please? I would normally, but I'm pregnant"
He looked at me and said (smiling) "ahh, a likely story, you're just FAT!"

I have to say, I laughed!

As I drove off he went "bye fatty!!"

My mum was in the passenger seat and was like this confused

The humour in this country (nz) is a bit different, and things like that are tolerated more readily.

Also, I like to think that if he really thought I was fat, he wouldn't have said it...but who knows!

I laughed at his cheek anyway smile

AngryBeaver Wed 13-Nov-13 22:34:58

Oh BUT, when I lived in UK, I had a REEEEEALLY annoying posty!
Really, really annoying.

He had taken to calling me fatty at the door (I was heavily pregnant) when I signed for stuff.
It got on my nerves and I told dh, who thought it was outrageous.

Anyhoo, I was in the spar one day, and he was too.

He SHOUTED out " HELLOOO FATTY" !!shockshock
And everyone looked at me!

I was so pissed off I shouted back "hello BALDY!"
His face fell.
People laughed.
I exited.
Twat.

Mim78 Wed 13-Nov-13 22:48:11

A mum on the school run always calls me "fat woman" since she found out I was pregnant. It sounds quite blunt the way she says it, but I have to say I don't mind. My understanding is that she is saying it because I am NOT fat - my bump is not that big even at 26 weeks. Perhaps this is the same for you? Size 14 to 16 doesn't sound as though it's likely people have being going around thinking you are fat behind your back.

Misty9 Wed 13-Nov-13 22:53:11

My beloved dh said to me, whilst I was online clothes shopping, honey everything you wear is going to make you look fat - you're pregnant. Bless him, sensitivity is not always his strong point grin

When I was heavily pregnant last time round he also made lorry reversing beeping sounds when I sat down...I didn't talk to him for a bit for that one!

AngryBeaver Wed 13-Nov-13 22:58:04

Just remembered another one in this pregnancy.

A woman I hardly know said "look at you. You fat bastard!!" When I went to say hello! Again my mum was like shockshockshock

Hotmad Wed 13-Nov-13 23:24:17

Know exactly how you feel.... People don't realise they being really insensitive, especially when like you say, weight and being overweight has always been on the mind.... I always go up and down in weight, and an older lady I know said to me ' you've put some weight on again haven't you dear' to which I said, 'actually I'm pregnant' and she said ' no I didn't mean your tummy I meant In your face and arms' I was so upset by this as I was only about 20 weeks! From that day I vowed never to talk to that woman again!! Lol

PistachioTruffle Thu 14-Nov-13 07:17:05

People are hideous. The only comment anyone should make to a pregnant woman is a compliment. Uninvited comments about weight gain or body changes are rude and unnecessary, even if they are supposedly in 'fun'.

flowers op

Thisisfreakingmeout Thu 14-Nov-13 07:55:35

Agree this is outrageous OP.

Most insensitive comments come from from the older women in the office for me. I think of them as veiled jealousy, because most people are sweet and excited for you when they see the bump.

Snobble Thu 14-Nov-13 13:10:46

Yeah i've had that from guys in my workplace. But to be fair, they are all fatter then me anyway (+ im not really showing yet either 20+2)

I think to be honest its just male humour. No its not acceptable, but some people just lack common sense + brain to mouth filter.

In the end, i'd just let it roll off you. You will have a gorgeous baby after & they will still be pathetic losers.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 14-Nov-13 15:32:13

shock Cheeky fecker! As another poster said, report them to HR. Its harassment if you want to get technical and completely out of line!
Personally, I would have had his balls in a sling! I'm a market trader. Men don't mess with me! grin
Its not on though, and if it is upsetting you it needs to be dealt with.
How about "I may be PREGNANT, but you are a DICKWAD and I will give birth eventually! hmm

Mim78 Thu 14-Nov-13 15:53:24

You will have a gorgeous baby after & they will still be pathetic losers.

^^
This

Charingcrossbun Thu 14-Nov-13 19:49:42

Feeling your pain OP. Several men at my work have taken to calling me chubbs etc. I think it's their way of acknowledging my pregnancy without running the risk of someone talking about wombs, breast feeding, child birth or other scary stuff.
Lots of the women comment daily on my bump and how much bigger it is than yesterday etc - I know they mean well so I grin and smile but today when several were having the daily "it's really big now/you're massive/you sure there is only one in there" chin wag 2 made comment that left me shock
1. And to think you used to do all that running... As if I should just give up now I will never be fit or slim again
2. It's amazing your bump and your bum are so big now .... MY BUM! Since when were you allowed to comment on my bum?? Queue hours of twisting and looking in the mirror sad

SweetPea86 Thu 14-Nov-13 20:00:41

Hey ladies thanks for all the posts had a norther fella say your starting to show now or are you just eating well. Kind if took that one on the chin coz he's ok.

ANgry beaver the hello baldy had just made my day can't stop laughing good on ya. Xx

MrTumblesKnickers Thu 14-Nov-13 20:59:39

The humour in this country (nz) is a bit different, and things like that are tolerated more readily.

Jesus, whereabouts in NZ are you? I'm also a Kiwi and where I live this would NEVER be considered acceptable!

AngryBeaver Thu 14-Nov-13 22:13:06

Glad I made you laugh sweet pea grin made me laugh to remembering his chin hit the floor! wink

Mr tumble...I'm on Waiheke! smile
But I lived in cambridge before here, and seriously, pc has not caught up, IMO!! I can't tell you how shocked I've been at some things openly said by otherwise perfectly "normal" looking people. shockshockshockshockshock

Xenadog Thu 14-Nov-13 22:28:03

I have friends calling me fatty and skinny(!) at the mo and it doesn't bother me as it's said affectionately.

However, if someone spoke to me insensitively and I didn't know them very well my response would be: "Hello ignorant and rude person!" Then I might finish with a phrase I use on teenagers who lack awareness: "Social awareness. Get some!"

Peacenquiet2 Fri 15-Nov-13 11:25:45

Well i read this post yesterday thinking i cant imagine anyone having the cheek to tell someone they are fat, pregnant or not.
Then lo and behold this morning as i walked out of the school playground one if the mums announced loudly i was now obviously showing, and people who did'nt know yet would think i was just getting fat!
Have to say i did laugh as i quite like the mum who said it and we do have a bit of banter now and again, but had it been someone i was'nt keen on i think i would have felt bit differently!
Ignore the lowlife creep who made the snide remark op and as others have said, next time be armed with a few cutting remarks to throw back at him ;-)

Cariad007 Fri 15-Nov-13 11:30:26

Why do people think "You're getting so BIG" is an appropriate way to start a conversation? How about just asking "how's the pregnancy going." When I've told people I don't like them commenting on my body they say "oh but all pregnant women love being told they're getting bigger." Um, really? REALLY??

MrTumblesKnickers Fri 15-Nov-13 11:34:01

Angry gosh and I thought Waiheke was well heeled! Not surprised about Cambridge though...

Riblet Fri 15-Nov-13 11:55:59

Can't believe how insensitive or downright rude some people are! ClearlyMoo, I feel your pain - I've lost 7st over the last 18 months to get to target weight. Have put about a stone back on (half of which is pre-BFP holiday bloat anyway) but it isn't particularly noticeable and am only 10 weeks so no-one knows yet. Last night a friend (male, unsurprisingly) asked me if I wanted a drink and when I said I'd have a coke he looked shocked and said "FAT coke?!" then he patted my tummy and said "you want to be careful, you've put some weight on, what happened to fat club eh?". Cheeky fucker - wait til we announce it and I remind him of how he told me I was fat and made me feel terrible when I was actually pregnant and emotional - ha!

Of course it's not made any better by the fact that I'm naturally a fatty anyway, have been eating all the time to combat MS, haven't been able to do my usual exercise due to nausea and yet MIL keeps banging on about how my perfect 34 weeks gone SIL has only put on 1.5 stone, is all bump and even managed to do a ballet class last week hmm Will remember some of these retorts for if and when the comments start though!

gemmal88 Sat 16-Nov-13 08:25:11

I have a good friend who starts every conversation with 'oh look at you, you're getting so big now' and touching me. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and have no bump, clearly have put on weight though.

It's so fucking annoying that I'm actually avoiding her before my pregnant rage makes me believe that I really hate her. (Because I don't I just hate this!)

ClearlyMoo Sat 16-Nov-13 08:45:09

A friend touched my rather large muffin top last night... I was wearing a close fitting dress as I was struggling to find clothes for a dinner and said "hello baby". I pointed to my lower abdomen and said - baby is still down there...

Sooooo embarrassing. I'm looking forward for what waist I have/ indent at tummy button level to go... At the moment it's just podgy above and below my waist line.

Realised I'm also not going to be that ok with people touching my bump.

Argh!!

gemmal88 Sat 16-Nov-13 09:18:21

It's a pain in the arse Clearly eh?

My latest comeback is, 'that's not a baby that is my dinner!' Que embarrassed faces all round

Writerwannabe83 Sat 16-Nov-13 10:58:32

Over the last 2 days I have been referred to as chunky, tubby and chubby. All comments came from family members and to be honest it just made me smile - I love my bump and I know when people make such comments they aren't being offensive they are just commenting about how well the pregnancy is getting. I went to visit my friend last week (who is due in 2 weeks) and I hadn't seen her for about a month and my first words out my mouth when she opened the door were, "Bloody hell, you are massive!!" grin She laughed because she knows she is!!! I think it's just a case of me remembering that in general, nobody makes comments to me nastily and I just let it go over my head smile

Foodylicious Sat 16-Nov-13 14:11:57

Future conversations should go like this...
Him : hello fatty!
You : Alright wanker!
don't even pause for breath in between, then just stand there and stare in his face. Oh and make sure you say it loud enough for others to hear too.
If anyone looks too shocked just reply " what? just being honest!"

morgs22 Sat 16-Nov-13 14:20:26

I have only just started telling people at work that I'm pregnant, 1 of them had the cheek to come up to me and pat my stomach saying in a baby voice 'oh you've made mummy fat already, she's gonna be massive!' I'm only 14 weeks!! I am a little rounder on my stomach that's only noticeable to me and my partner, in my work clothes you cant even see I've put on any weight. I almost lost it so bad inconsiderate wank stain angry some people just shouldn't be let out of their homes

pandabear86 Sat 16-Nov-13 14:25:36

I've had this loads since being pregnant and it was always the middle aged, single bitches who said it. The final straw was being told I look like I'm carrying triplets so I said "since when was it normal to call someone fat? I don't go around commenting on anyones size! Well maybe I should. Hey Amanda - you put weight on around your face. Too many pies last night?"

Everyone went silent....

I also got told my tits were too small to feed my baby and apparently he'll starve to death!

Pregnancy brings out the jealousy in people! Strangely though - it has only been other woman making comments to me. This guy needs a kick in his tiny penis!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 16-Nov-13 20:06:08

I worked on a market yesterday where everyone is lovely. Loads of people patted my belly. Although they are lovely, I take great delight in saying "that's my breakfast, baby is a bit lower!" grin I havent had many fatty jokes but there are plenty of comebacks! I like "That's the pot calling the kettle a fat arse!!!"

firemansamsmam Sat 16-Nov-13 20:43:54

My response to my MIL when she said I was getting tubby at 8 weeks was "you really shouldn't comment on people's size or weight, regardless of whether they are pregnant or not." Then told her I had to go and left her gawping like a goldfish.

I got frenzied text messages saying that I was clearly hormonal and over sensitive!

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