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Preggo Rage.

(433 Posts)
ladymalfoy Thu 10-Oct-13 18:03:01

Husband eating too load for my liking. He's keeping his mouth closed but eating very quickly and just making way too much noise. I really want to scream and yell at him to stfu but I know its hormones. And he's talking too loud. I'm so close to meltdown.

Julietee Thu 10-Oct-13 18:04:29

Ugh, I could have punched everyone in the supermarket yesterday quite happily.

ladymalfoy Thu 10-Oct-13 18:06:30

Julitee I hear you. Drivers as well.

ladymalfoy Thu 10-Oct-13 18:09:45

He just slurped his tea. Had to leave the room. Ive got twitchy now.

Shellywelly1973 Thu 10-Oct-13 18:15:31

Omg...pregnancy rage! Im glad it's not just me.

I can't stand how dp smells... he's not dirty but I hate how he 'smells'. The problem is I can smell people even just walking down the street. It makes me so irritated...

BummyMummy77 Thu 10-Oct-13 18:26:25

The loud eating drives me insane.

Also, dh touching me when I eat. Even a knee.

I just spent all morning cleaning the kitchen surfaces and he comes home for lunch and plonks his toolbag down. He is now outside picking up his tools from the flower beds. Wanker.

Thisisfreakingmeout Thu 10-Oct-13 21:37:34

People walked ridiculously slow in front of me during my precious lunch break- nearly scissor kicked them in the back if the head.

Loads of people doing long slow returns when I want to collect a simple order of maternity rights (because no where stocks them). Again, why do it during lunchtime when you are clearly at your leisure all day?

People in short shorts, it is autumn you dimwits.

People at work spraying deodorant in an open plan office for ages. We can't open windows. You are gassing my baby.

tgamble13 Thu 10-Oct-13 21:52:56

this made me lol all last week i felt like killing dead things i had zero tolerance for bullshit as well which made my day a bit awkward as am a nurse lol my oh calls me pregzilla

Julietee Thu 10-Oct-13 21:56:33

"People at work spraying deodorant in an open plan office for ages. We can't open windows. You are gassing my baby."

Argghhh! No! What the hell, humans? What the hell?

TruJay Thu 10-Oct-13 22:28:26

I now hate my hubby as he wouldn't agree to ordering a curry, its all I want and after suggesting it about 8 'o clock, apparently its too late to order one now! Well it wouldn't be if we'd just ordered it then would it ass munch! Definitely considering divorce lol

My road rage is atrocious too!

Stevie77 Thu 10-Oct-13 23:21:21

LOL to this whole thread. I feel ya ladies. Except for the husband bit, he's not annoying me, but everyone else is!

Lj8893 Thu 10-Oct-13 23:47:44

People walked ridiculously slow in front of me during my precious lunch break- nearly scissor kicked them in the back if the head.

I could have written this!! I've been on maternity leave for a while now but when I was still working I used to get sooooo annoyed at this!

TheSeaPriestess Fri 11-Oct-13 00:57:38

This thread could not be more appropriate today, I hate everyone at the moment, fucking bastards.

Mogz Fri 11-Oct-13 01:05:28

I have the rage really badly this week, compounded by lack of sleep. DH has been banished to the spare room because he dared breathe too loudly!

katebakes Fri 11-Oct-13 11:55:35

DH commenting on how many bagels/donuts I'm eating whilst we're skyping. I'm still tiny and you're not being funny.

Dad asking me if I've just been sick and then saying 'it's normal you're pregnant.' Thanks dad for that nugget of wisdom.

My grandmother, lately, in general.

My mother just being bitchy (although I can't overly complain about her because she's actually helpful.)

Edward Milliband - his fucking face and he spits when he talks.

froubylou Fri 11-Oct-13 12:20:06

I actually bit my DP last week. And not a playful little love nip either. I fooking meant it.

He dared to let his arm stray onto my side of the bed. Being asleep is no excuse for inconsideration
Is it? So I bit it.

Not really hard because I thought as I clamped down how bad it was. But he hasn't done it again.

kchapper5 Fri 11-Oct-13 13:00:28

Frouby i actually love that, definitely something i'd do. And if he's not done it again then its clearly justified smile
I'm definitely one with pregnancy rage. I just pretty much hate everyone, especially people being nice to me, I get this whole I'm more than capable leave me alone thing, even when I'm struggling.
I'm a horrible person smile

Franchini Fri 11-Oct-13 13:15:58

Love this thread!grin

WhisperMen Fri 11-Oct-13 14:32:57

frouby I slapped DP last night because he kept fucking rolling over and breathing on me. I moved him several times and he kept doing it. So I smacked him in the face. He tried to make me feel bad by saying he was asleep and didn't know what he was doing. lying bastard

self service checkouts. NO THERE IS NOT AN UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA. IT IS THE PRODUCT I JUST SCANNED AND PLACED THERE!

the woman who was nice to me in tescos and offered to lift my basket onto the side for me can fuck right off too. I can do it myself thankyou very much.

The wind got a stern talking too aswell. I spent 20 minutes making myself look presentable and then went outside. Mother nature is a wankbadger.

ahhhh, I feel much better now grin

BummyMummy77 Fri 11-Oct-13 14:49:56

Dh has been bitching about domestic abuse (I bit him last week and this week pinched him a wee bit too hard and it left a bruise, not convinced he didn't do it himself in some kind of munchausens way).

In my defence I pinched him because he ate my last McVities digestive (I live in the States so we have to drive an hour to get them and they cost about £5 a packet).

He's bought me a special little 'bite pillow' now. When I feel like drop kicking one of the cats off the porch for bringing in ticks or animal guts or feel the need to sink my teeth into him for generally being a thoughtless twat he runs and gets it. He can see me getting 'the face' apparently.

It's nice, it looks like an alien and makes a weird squeaky sound when I really hunker down on it.

dobedobedo Fri 11-Oct-13 14:54:32

Yup, all the above.

Had a tantrum the other morning. I stamped as hard as I fucking could through out the whole house, slammed every door I walked past and kicked that stupid fucking close horse right over. Purple, clothes hangy bastard.

Now I've lost my voice and people keep saying "Oooh you've lost your voice?" whenever I whisper at them. NO. I'M JUST FUCKING ABOUT BECAUSE HAVING TO REPEAT MYSELF A DOZEN TIMES IS ENJOYABLE FOR ME! Pricks.

Handbagsonnhold Fri 11-Oct-13 14:56:02

Sick of looking like I've been exhumed.....sick of seeing glowing stars in magazines clutching their non existent bumps and saying how well they feel......I could fall out with my big toeshock

BummyMummy77 Fri 11-Oct-13 15:06:07

Handbags OR people telling you "you look AMAZING. You really have that pregnancy glow and you're all bump."

Fucking liar.

My face has swollen like I've been shoved face first into a hornets nest and I have dark circles the size of France. I'm now so fat my thighs are red raw from where they rubbed together last week except this week they've gotten so big they no longer rub, they are just jammed together.

My shoe collection that I have spent years and £1000's on building up is most likely never going to fit again unless I chop off a toe or do some Chinese foot binding.

Oh, and I think I have cellulite all over my entire body but I can't actually see without the aid of at least 5 mirrors.

Don't tell me I look great when I quite clearly don't because after I've had this baby and worked my arse off for 6 months to look decent again I'm going to be telling you how 'nice' you look in a patronising, simpering, smug voice.

angry

Hyperhelpmum Fri 11-Oct-13 15:32:42

This thread is great! I have to stop myself snapping at my three year old for asking for a drink and hearing my 5 year old read? Hurry the FUCK up. I want to watch Bake Off! Horrible Mummy!

Franykins Fri 11-Oct-13 15:42:00

DP putting his dirty washing on the bedroom floor then walking into the bathroom for a shower - washing basket is in the bathroom! And at 33 weeks with twins I can't bend down very well! Also offering to hoover and then just doing the landing. What about the bedroom and stairs? Silly sod.

StinkerBoo Fri 11-Oct-13 18:00:31

Shouted at two strangers today, a man who barged into me in the train station (aka 'Fucking Penis') and a teenager speeding his car out of a concealed car park nearly into me (aka 'Fucking Idiot').

Also perilously close to inserting a stapler into the next member of my team who COUGHS WITHOUT COVERING THEIR DIRTY MOUTHS. WTF? As if I actually want their horrible germs!

Charingcrossbun Fri 11-Oct-13 19:04:08

Bumpymummy I am so with your about the shoes!!! Why is everyone so casual about such things!! My mum laughed and said her feet went up 2 sizes and never shrank back...! Is no one thinking about the impact on the shoe collection?
They should put warnings across cute pictures of babies that might make you broody - warning may render your shoe collection useless approach with caution!

Feeling the rage too ladies - Haven't bitten DP yet but there is still time smile

BummyMummy77 Fri 11-Oct-13 21:35:50

charingcross I KNOW. Everyone tells you that you may have hulk feet forever all casual like.

I bought a pair of Gina shoes for my wedding last year. They cost * gulp * £800 and they are the most beautiful thing I will ever own. If I can't wear them again I will be heartbroken. And for anyone that says "well, the baby will be worth it" - will it? Will it REALLY?

Franykins Sat 12-Oct-13 02:20:21

OH MY GOD DPI SHUT UP! Why is he snoring; he doesn't normally and we have a long day tomorrow traveling to a wedding. and why is he breathing on me. i just want some sleep!

Im not even thinking about my shoes - i can't bear the thought of not fitting in them!

Thingymajigs Sat 12-Oct-13 07:31:34

Why on earth does DP have to walk so flat footed across the floor? It vibrates through the whole house and every footstep drives me mad.
He also slops his food and makes disgusting smacking lips sounds as part of a new habit that he has inexplicably picked up in the last few months.
And fgs how can he not know that he has food on his face after eating?
I'm certain that he wasn't this annoying before I became pregnant. hmm

froubylou Sat 12-Oct-13 09:10:08

I annoy myself with my breathing. For some reason I now sound like an old asthmatic pug when I fall asleep.

I also think I now snore. But refuse to accept responsibility for it. So am waking myself up with my breathing/snoring noises. And kick DP and tell him to turn over/move/stop breathing etc etc.

No wonder the poor bastard looks tired.

morgs22 Sat 12-Oct-13 10:54:16

the rage has hit me hard, I feel as though I have super pmt! even thinking about the things that have pissed me off this week brings it back. People on the trains and tubes coughing, sneezing or heaven forbid blowing their nose next to me! they get the look of death. slow walkers in front of me on the way to work, fast walkers pushing past me after work because I am noticeably slower lol. DP constantly saying think boy boy boy boy! I want to stab him in the face sometimes. the list just seems to go on and on and all I seem to see is happy glowing pregnant women ugh angry

froubylou Sat 12-Oct-13 11:19:30

There are some benefits to the rage though.

My annoying,toxic friend who for years has phoned and moaned and groaned and whinged and bitched down the phone to me is now a very much arms length friend. She has been my friend for many, many years but the last 3 I have realised she is a waste of my time. But because of various complicated relationships and a shared interest its easier to keep her around than to get rid completely. I told her when I was 22 weeks that I didn't need her shit, grow a pair and deal with your issues and come back and tell me when you have. Don't want to know otherwise.

She calls once a week now. This is good and progress.

DD (aged 9) now picks her shit up as it lands on the floor. Dirty washing makes it to the washing basket. Shoes to the cupboard. Bookbag to the hook. This is good and progress.

DP decorated the kitchen and fitted my new flooring after only 1 weekend of prompting <full blown tantrum>. And tidied up his mess afterwards. This is good and progress.

The dog now jumps off the kitchen table as she hears me approaching rather than as I enter the room and snarl 'Get down'. This is good and progress.

So although the rage does fill us with rage I think there is a reason it exists in pg women. Its not just an influx of hormones and tiredness and feeling like you are on an egg timer. Its there to get shit done by the people around us. And to get the people in our lives who cause us shit to leave us the fuck alone whilst we are pg.

I am thinking some very mild baby blues for at least 6 months after baby is born to ensure that shit remains done and people remain the fuck away whilst I am dealing with new baby. And by the time they have had 6 months of pg rage and 6 months of babyblues hormonal outbursts they should be trained enough.

WhisperMen Sat 12-Oct-13 11:23:42

just gave the man working at tescos a good telling off because they didn't have any of the tuna I wanted. How am I supposed to make tuna pasta bake now? I think he hid it. Bastard.

also...next door can fuck right of too with their shouty friends. I do not care if he 'stole your papers' so you can't have a spliff. Shut the fuck up. 3am is quiet time. USE YOUR INSIDE VOICES! I wil tell the landlord you have a puppy despite it being a no pet lease if you tip me too far over the edge. angry

Hyperhelpmum Sat 12-Oct-13 11:51:20

Froubylou you are a genius! All you say is factual and correct! It's a necessary move from mother/ wife running around after ungrateful/ useless family to 'do jot mess with me and get your own f ing drink I'm pregnant'!

katebakes Sat 12-Oct-13 12:03:35

bummymummy77 - I laughed so hard about the shoes that I snorted..

I'm not feeling the rage today...but there's still time. I haven't actually spoken to anyone else yet.

Nothing is ever going to fit me again. I'm not even sad about it, it's true. I'm never going to be that small, I'm never going to be a size 4-6. I'm now always going to have an arse and ginormous thighs. Makes it better that DH actually told me he thinks I'm incredibly sexy and look better now and I head a lot of those comments from friends.

I just want a healthy little baby to be born in two weeks. Not in five weeks. In two weeks. Then I want to eat unpasturised SOFT cheese and drink champagne....

katebakes Sat 12-Oct-13 12:05:48

Have spent the morning in bed looking at cheese websites. I'm serious.

WhisperMen Sat 12-Oct-13 12:57:58

mmmmm cheese. I miss you!

did you know we can eat them if they're cooked? We can have baked Camembert...

dobedobedo Sat 12-Oct-13 13:08:06

Nail on the head froubylou! Dh was musing earlier this morning about pregnant ladies and their tempers. This is why. I'm going to tell him.

Today my phone is getting the brunt of the rage. When have I EVER used the word "ducking"? Never. Yet I use "fucking" all the damn time. STOP CHANGING FUCKING TO FUCKING DUCKING! Piece of shit.

WhisperMen Sat 12-Oct-13 13:21:16

my phone gets shouted at all the time. It has the worst auto correct I have ever seen. I typed schof in as I was writing schofield, as in philip schofield and it changed it to echocardiography. WHY?! WHEN HAVE I EVER USED THAT WORD BEFORE?!

froubylou Sat 12-Oct-13 13:56:05

My poor DP just felt the full force of my rage in argos.

I am having a new carpet cleaner. For the last 3 years me and my sister have shared one due to the fact I have limited space and I only use it a couple of times a year.

These sensible reasons when pointed out by DP induced a snot snorting, breath taking, can't speak to you because I am so fucking angry tantrum. Whilst in the middle of the retail park.

It has taken him much grovelling, an offer to go back and get it now (he wanted to wait while next week), a bar of dairy milk and a coffee to even get me downstairs. This is after we have driven through busy retail park with me blowing snot bubbles at people on zebra crossings.

I cry when I get the rage which I find is more effective than just shouting. No one would date argue with a crying pg woman would they?

When I feel he has suffered enough I will order it on check and reserve.

Shellywelly1973 Sat 12-Oct-13 14:29:28

I've read this thread a few times...it never fails to make me laugh!

I've got a thread running at moment about paternity leave & mat B1 form. Im so pissed off with dp I hate the way I have to do everything... he's such a lazy bastard! !!

Seriously he does nothing unless I make him. Im furious with him today!!

BummyMummy77 Sat 12-Oct-13 14:33:37

Ha. Dh reckons this thread is 'enabling' my bad behaviour and that "that Mumsnet lot are banding together to destroy poor partners".

The walking around the floor thing has been an issue for us since I've been pregnant. We live in a wooden house and it's like the Green effing Giant has taken up residence.

Mother in law has severely pissed me off this morning. She rang at 7am (7am?! I swear in Britain we have manners and don't ring people between 9am-8pm unless you know them REALLY well right?) to ask me what I was doing today. (I'm nearly 38 weeks and can only get off the sofa by doing a commando roll off, across the floor and drag myself up on a chair you STUPID woman). When I said "not much, I'm really finding things difficult now" she had the barefaced idioticity to tell me about her friend's daughter (Saint) Nicole who is 40 weeks and was looking after her husband who's has both legs broken by a white water rafting incident (good, he's a smug bastard).

"Some people just cope with pregnancy better than others I guess" she said.

Right. Now this would have pissed me off without the entire Western world's hormones flowing through my poor little angry brain. Phone went flying into the fridge (3rd phone I've now ruined and horrid dent in lovely big stainless steel fridge, to match the one in the bin that I booted across the kitchen when dh forgot to empty it when I was suffering REALLY bad morning sickness and there were gall bladders and stomach from various stuff the bastard cats had killed) and dh got told we're moving away from your controlling, judgemental she bitch of a Mother and she's not holding her firstborn Grandchild until I'm dead.

He's gone off to work chuckling his head off. I feel completely trivialised and want a divorce. Seeing as it's not the best timing I'll settle for using his new razor blade he's been looking forward to shaving with on my armpits which have gotten WAY out of control and eating his bit of chocolate pie he saved from last night's dinner as my breakfast.

And ---- breathhhe.

katebakes Sat 12-Oct-13 16:30:30

BAKED CAMEMBERT GIVES ME HEARTBURN. Damn you baked Camembert, damn you.

ladymalfoy Sat 12-Oct-13 19:37:39

Well the rage left me for a while and I got weepy because I love my DH and I felt bad for being ragey. However, he is now eating. And he has just finished a fajita and LICKED THE FUCKING PLATE CLEAN. I make the fajitas but can't eat them because the texture makes me all gippy now. And please stop talking with your mouth open.

BummyMummy77 Sat 12-Oct-13 20:23:08

When the rage leaves me I'm adorable. (One hour in 48).

I buy dh lots of presents on amazon and offer blow jobs and everything (too fat for proper sex now). He always passes though as I guess the hysterical sobbing, snot dribbling down my face and chance of me getting the rage half way through and giving his pride and joy a good toothing is off putting.

And by the time his presents turn up from amazon I always have the rage again and throw them at him with some passive aggressive, sarcastic comment.

SweetPea86 Sat 12-Oct-13 20:46:59

Eating loud is my pet hate pregnant or not. Your mad of better stuff than me coz I would of screamed at him lol

MacD75 Sat 12-Oct-13 20:47:24

This thread is brilliant, totally agree!

Keep picturing some poor bugger looking at cheese websites, like I feel walking past the wine aisle!

Self service checkouts that loudly tell you to do stuff 30seconds after you did it - ffs keep up!!

Colleagues who sit at their desk and chew noisily - you're not a f#@$&£€ g child, chew quietly, you're disgusting!!

Rude, socially inept colleagues who think a conversation is them talking about themselves and me oohing and aahing at their amazing (amazingly boring and pointless) lives and despite being 20 weeks pregnant and ever wider they haven't once commented!! They now have a few minutes to show interest in something other than themselves or I literally turn and walk away without a word!

Aaahhh that's better ...til I'm next in asda... smile

MacD75 Sat 12-Oct-13 21:04:59

I meant smile !!

princesspants Sun 13-Oct-13 18:25:15

I was driving home heavily pg with my 3rd. Two LO's in the back. ASSHOLE, as I remember it starts revving right up rear of the car.

Absolute nutter, swaying back and forth and nearly clipping the back he was so close. I could see there were about 3 neds in the car.

Im usually a very chilled person and if I hadn't have been PG id have slowed down to annoy him and just grinned about annoying him back.

Not this time, oh no, the fucker must die. I was going to kill him and his friends.

Wait for it, they finally swung out and around me (I was doing 60 in a 60), then turned left into the golf course. I followed, in hot pursuit.

The plan? I hear you ask.....The plan was to jump out of the car, all 5'2 of me with my 38 week bump, and go right up to him swearing, telling him what an absolute knob he was and that I had a 2 yr old, a 5 yr old and a baby one the way (im sure he would have been fine without the last bit of info) whom he nearly KILLED and that if he was ever lucky enough to get some date rape drug in order to make a woman sleep with him and she was pregnant with his baby, that I hoped one day a knob as knobby as him would wipe them off THE FUCKING ROAD.

Yep, that's where I was at at 38 weeks gestation with third.

By the time I had got to the car park it was so busy and I couldn't find the car. I stormed up and down, red with rage, looking for them. I then went into the golf club reception and asked in a loud voice if "ANY NEDS" has just came in, 3 of them? Told the poor receptionist who looked a bit scared what had happened then stormed off, still scanning all the cars and the course.

Can you imagine if this plan had come together folks? I just thank my lucky stars that I didn't catch up with them.

Nobody who knows me actually believed this story. blush

Julietee Sun 13-Oct-13 21:37:43

BummyMummy I had gorgeous custom made boots for my wedding in April. Sigh.

I now flip people off in the car indiscriminately.

Hyperhelpmum Sun 13-Oct-13 22:13:18

Nummy mummy I can't believe you offer BJs, I'm far too angry for that. Fuck being nice!

BummyMummy77 Tue 15-Oct-13 13:10:31

Well he won't be getting offered any more. Ever. I had a bad night last night and at about 3am he mumbled "what the fuck are you actually doing? Can't you be more quiet?".

I threw his iPhone into the garden and was going for the iPad when I got intercepted.

Someone wanting payment from direct tv just got a

BummyMummy77 Tue 15-Oct-13 13:18:01

Oops, hit reply too soon in my rage.

Someone from wanting payment for direct tv just got the full force of my rage.

They rang at 7. 30 AM to ask about a bill that's overdue ONE DAY. What is up with Americans not having decent manners and etiquette to ring in BUSINESS HOURS?! Dh answered but I managed to quickly get hold of the phone and do my best Hyacinth Bucket voice yet convey that they were the scum of the universe. I told them that in most developed countries people didn't ring at 7.30 and that I fully intended to pay it today but now I wasn't going to on principle.

Going well until they said 'well then we'll be forced to interupt your service Mam' at which I called him a 'fucking dickcheese' and hung up.

WhisperMen Tue 15-Oct-13 13:50:41

dickcheese is my new favorite word grin

BummyMummy77 Tue 15-Oct-13 15:13:34

I've been bloody cut off!!! What the HELL am I meant to do with no tv lol?!

I'll pay the bill but I'm not apologising.

WhisperMen Tue 15-Oct-13 15:17:09

call them wankbadgers. That always makes me feel better. I can't watch tv either because DP is an idiot and forgot to switch it on at the plug before he left for work. 30 week pregnant me cannot get to said switch.

ladymalfoy Tue 15-Oct-13 17:45:36

All my wrath,all my ire,all my bile is no FIRMLY directed at my DH line manager. Apparently marking for 7 hours on a Sunday and 4 hours every week night isn't enough. My poor DH is the only specialist in the school and has in the words of the LA adviser turned the dept around.
I hope that his LM dick gets septic and drops off. My fists have gone into punchy mode.
Fucking wanker.

BummyMummy77 Tue 15-Oct-13 22:23:39

That sucks Lady. People just don't get it do they? sad

I've told dh I don't want him popping off to work every two minutes or all the frantic 3am phone calls we normally get. I want peace and quiet and if his employers don't respect that I'll fucking tell them myself.

Wankbadger. That'll work.

I love you all. Seriously. You make me feel normal. Thank you. grin

froubylou Wed 16-Oct-13 08:13:08

And still The Rage marches on.

The Rage has manifested itself in many ways over the last few days.

My washing up bowl is in the bin. It has had a tiny, weeny split in it for weeks. Just at the top from lifting it up and tipping it out whilst water/pots are in it. The Split looked at me funny yesterday. So I threw the fucker away. Then had to go to town and get a new one as I have lost the plug for the sink.

My hair dryer also spent a brief time in the bin (luckily in the washing up bowl on top of all the rubbish). Its crime? The wire wouldn't wind up properly and I was sick of looking at it. Luckily when I brough the next lot out I rescued it.

I have also blitzed mine and DP's Double Wardrobe Of Doom. I had a pile of tops/bags/shoes/random crap that I was supposed to get a suitcase down for and shove in there until next summer. Binned the fuckers.

And I have eaten 4 Mince Pies with Brandy (from Co-op, very yum) in the last 17 or so hours. Had the last one this morning in temper because of the ongoing bollox and waste of police and public money that is Plebgate. FFS. Who actually gives a flying fuck? Seriously. It has gotten to the point of fucking ridiculous. An MP said a mean name to some police men who got the hump and reported him. Good lord, I'm glad those police don't work around here. A Pleb could be classed as a term of endearment. So what the actual fuck is Downing Street, the Police, The Indepdendant Police Commission Bollocks and anyone and everyone else still wasting money over it for?

If they were kids and one had come home and said 'Mummy, he called me a pleb' I'd just say 'You apologise and you apologise for whatever you did that made him call you a pleb. Now does anyone want an icepop?'

So yes the rage is still here. DD a bit worried. She's 9. It's her parents evening tonight. I don't like this teacher. And I have an ISHOO I need to discuss with her. About my DD. My DD is the only one who doesn't fill me with rage. More, with an overwhelming sense of protection. So now DD (and DP who has offered to go instead for the first time ever) are concerned that I will be ragefull at school. I may be. But I can guarantee DD will now have this ISHOO again. Nope. No she won't.

WhisperMen Wed 16-Oct-13 08:40:05

sorry you guys are having rubbish times at the moment, but your stories are amusing me grin

Scoutish Wed 16-Oct-13 08:55:23

I absolutely can't stand him at the min, he opens a bottle of wine an the smell makes me I'll. I'm sure he does it on purpose!
I'm proper shouting, everything is annoying me!

Julietee Wed 16-Oct-13 09:37:08

I had a dream last night in which I beat a guy half to death for spraying a 'dangerous' chemical in my face. Better than an anxiety dream but still alarming!

Speaking of alarms, my wall neighbours had some high pitched beeping coming through into our bedroom much of the night. This plus the noise from the water feature that I can hear through our double glazing and sounds like a toilet flushing 24 fucking 7. I could have happily punched them all in the life. I hate them forever.

flowerpotgirl12 Wed 16-Oct-13 09:59:08

I had a full on temper tantrum this morning because I couldn't get the cling film to unwind, it had only a little bit coming off, it resulted in being thrown across the room, my sandwiches thrown in the bin and me a blind rage getting ready for work.

froubylou Wed 16-Oct-13 10:11:05

Oh and I had a rage at DP the other night in bed because he said that he wouldn't let me have a taser at the minute. You know those things they use to stun people? That police have?

Well we were watching some crap on TV and someone had one and used it and dropped this poor bloke in his tracks. I was quite impressed and said to DP I'd quite like one of those for my birthday.

He laughed and told me not a chance. How fucking selfish is that? Bastard. I sulked for about an hour but gave it up when he offered to come downstairs and get my Gaviscon and bag of wine gums.

WhisperMen Wed 16-Oct-13 10:17:04

ugh what a wanker frouby Why shouldn't us pregnant ladies be allowed a taser? It would help the rage immensely grin

Hyperhelpmum Wed 16-Oct-13 13:17:52

I have the rage at my body. Massive, uncomfortable, nine if my clothes fit properly eg mat trousers keep creeping down in irritating way so I have to hoik them up. I can't do a ducking thing without feeling out of breath/ exhausted and have spider veins appearing on my legs from carrying this mother load around. Fuck off heaviness. I want to feel light and agile.

Hyperhelpmum Wed 16-Oct-13 13:18:39

And now spell check has fucked me off. It's fucking NOT ducking!

BummyMummy77 Wed 16-Oct-13 13:30:16

A taser? Oh my Lord that's a good idea. I think they're legal here. I could probably send you all some and get away with it citing pregnancy mentalness.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I sold gunny. As my rage has progressed dh has stopped moaning about me making him sell his too haha.

The clothes thing is easily combated by not leaving the house. I went out for dinner the other night however and it took me over an hour to find something that actually could fit over my gigantor whale arse and even then I couldn't wear a bra (just bought THREE nursing bras and they're too small already) and pants and all the seams made me cry.

As to the meal, they made me wait AN HOUR before bringing me even bread and water and after 1.5 hours still hadn't got drinks or starters and paid almost £200 for really shit food, I wrote such a filthy, horrific review on trip advisor that the owner rang me yesterday to offer me $50 off another meal (um spit in your food, no thanks?) and when I declined he's demanded I take it down. So today I shall be changing it to add that they're bullying me to change my review. Fuckers.

katebakes Wed 16-Oct-13 16:10:21

My wisdom tooth erupted and I spent half the night worrying I'd get a gum infection that would result in a brain infection and I'd die. Or my gum bone would deteriorate and I'd look like Tracy Emin.

Both are apparently unlikely but I'm taking antibiotics anyway.

I HATE DAVID CAMERON AND THE UK BORDER AGENCY. Please read my thread to find out why.

I also hate people needlessly touching my bump. A pet is ok but don't just sit and rub it. Fuck off. I don't care if you are my grandmother.

Foodylicious Wed 16-Oct-13 16:18:19

Just popped on here for some distraction - you guys are fucking ace!!! tee hee!
I have had some tasters of 'the rage', but none quite so amusing. Though I have seriously become a mood-hoover lately

Julietee Wed 16-Oct-13 16:18:28

Kate, my wisdom tooth has been erupting for a few months now - you just have to brush it pretty well.

BummyMummy77 Wed 16-Oct-13 16:24:37

LOL @ Tracy Emin!!!!

Where's my lovely rage gone?! I've just spent an hour crying about the thought of baby going off to uni and an hour crying because dh is at work and I miss him. Fuck this shit, I want my lovely, productive rage back!

Maybe I'll go read the Daily Mail for half an hour.

katebakes Wed 16-Oct-13 16:33:20

Well my other thread post has offended loads of people and I wasn't even trying to be offensive. Oops.

BummyMummy77 Wed 16-Oct-13 16:45:02

What was it called?

It's ok everyone, my rage is back. Just been reading 'spinning babies' website to try to see how to get this little sod to move into a decent position and it says how 'vital' it is that even at 40 weeks you should still be walking 3 miles a day.

FUCK YOU SPINNING BABIES.

I'm going to eat a box of chocolates and watch Holby City now. May get up to pee, may just do it on the sofa. Ha.

katebakes Wed 16-Oct-13 16:59:01

It's called seething rage. I'm aware I sound a bit daily mail and probably unlikeable. Maybe I'm just an unlikeable person.

Also where the fuck are you going to be walking for three miles? I ate a macaroons that we brought back from the restaurant last night.

I've pulled all my legs because I was a smug bitch and wore five inch suede boots last night, serves me right.

BummyMummy77 Wed 16-Oct-13 17:47:22

I can't wear anything but Birkenstocks or Crocs now. That makes me angry too.

Baby is making me annoyed today even. The little angel shit has turned into a weird sideways-posterior position and if he doesn't shift it may be a c section.

3 miles would literally KILL me. My back would actually snap.

womma Wed 16-Oct-13 18:54:55

I'm fucking furious too. This morning I caught an early train to work , and someone had the temerity to sit next to me! The bastard! There were loads of spare seats, and he sat on my bag, the twat.

I also managed to time going out to get my lunch at exactly the same time as everyone who is an A grade fuckwit too, Waitrose was chockablock with them.

I'm just furious, and my way of dealing with people is to act like Yul Brynner in the King and I. Abrupt, glowering and using stamping as a viable method of communication. Serves the fuckers right.

BummyMummy77 Thu 17-Oct-13 13:16:54

After having pretty much no sleep last night due to being in sodding agony, dh wakes me up at 6am by playing - wait for it - Coldplay.

What.the.actual.fuck?

I'm too tired for rage but after a coffee or a nap he's fucking dead.

Hyperhelpmum Thu 17-Oct-13 16:22:38

Oh I love bummummy! I have parents evening, absolutely certain to invoke an out of control rage which may mean my child is asked to leave. It's a wanky private school which we get fat money off as DH works in a related school. DS may have ADD or dyspraxia and they are meant to be great with small classes etc but have done nothing but moan about how he needs curriculum differentiated as he can't concentrate to complete work the other (hothoused/ personality less/ kids of rich pushy twats) can. Fuck em they are losers who judge me for letting my kids listen kiss fm!!!! Rage building. Poor DH. Bet he's dreading taking the psycho Mom out in public!

NoIHaventHadTheBabyYet Thu 17-Oct-13 16:38:36

People saying "Not long left now . . . "
Ffs, maybe for you its not long, but for me its weeks of indigestion, wind, piles, trying not to piss myself, being massive and trying to squeeze my ginormous norks in a normal size bra as I am too tired to go out and buy a new one.
Seriously I MAY KILL SOMEONE.
I watched a horror film earlier, I find them cathartic at the moment, I found myself making mental notes on ways to dispose of the bodies of people who say "<Random strangers name> was glowing when she was pregnant, she was lovely"

JanePlanet Thu 17-Oct-13 17:44:45

Some woman stood up on the train decided to rest her arse on my shoulder!!!!! Fuck off LOADS! Wanted to stab her in the bum cheek with my pen. Three weeks to go, and I can no longer cope with dh breathing in and out never mind anything else. I get up ten times a night for a tea spoon of wee - so tired all day yet can't sleep. Feel like telling everyone to get fucked, particularly the people who pretend not to see a full term pregnant woman on the train and barge in front of me.

JanePlanet Thu 17-Oct-13 17:49:13

And the people who say "hasn't it flown?" No it fucking hasn't. Maybe for you it has! Feels more like years than months to me. Was walking round the shops farting uncontrollably before. The time just flies by.

WhisperMen Thu 17-Oct-13 19:56:59

was watching the chase celebrity episode earlier and got the rage at Dr Hilary. I forget the question exactly, but the answer was panini. he answered pastrami. cue me screaming at the telly "pastrami is a type of meat you dickheadangry " I was so angry but only for like 20 seconds. I then cried with laughter at my pointless rage.

alaskanbaby Thu 17-Oct-13 22:31:34

Smokers who are all standing in the street as I walk past and blow smoke in my face. Makes me want to projectile vomit all over them.

Hyperhelpmum Thu 17-Oct-13 23:33:29

Two women said today 'don't wish away your last weeks, soon you'll be missing that little baby wriggling and kicking inside you' WTF? I just want this baby out. Can't sit ANYWHERE without back buckling, can't bend over and being kicked in the ribs is not my idea of fun. Irritating child moves the most when I'm the tiredest and trying to sleep.

BummyMummy77 Thu 17-Oct-13 23:38:07

Stupid people.

'Rest while you can' 'enjoy your final weeks of peace' 'ooh ho ho, you don't have any clue what's coming'.

Fuck you. Patronising, clueless pricks. It's quite often women that have had kids too which baffles me.

I had a really fun hour earlier throwing huge rotten cucumbers at dh whilst he was trying to paint a house. Not really any rage involved just preventative measures for any rage that may come later. And made better because I could remember him causing previous rage.

SomethingOnce Thu 17-Oct-13 23:48:23

BM, I bet you a fiver you end up saying the same things to pregnant women within the year.

It's a rite of passage grin

BummyMummy77 Fri 18-Oct-13 02:10:08

Oh I'll make a point of it! :D

froubylou Fri 18-Oct-13 09:30:38

I had parents evening too earlier on in the week. Poor teacher lol. She looked terrified the morning after when I appeared in her classroom with DD's bloody bariton thing that she has to bring home to practise. Despite it meaning I have to use car to transport it there and back as its too heavy to carry.

DD has forgotten her lunchbox this morning. I will be dropping it off at school later. I could discreetly leave it on the trolley. Or I could appear in the door window making mad eyes at the teacher and see if I can have her going blotchy from the chest upwards again. Depends how my morning goes I suppose.

And I was asked by my sister yesterday if I could help her find another car. Long story but I helped last time and she bought something completly unsuitable against my advice. Just text her back NO. She phoned and asked me what I meant. Silly girl won't do that again.

So happy Ive found this thread! Christ Ive been having the rage, Im glad Im not alone.

In-laws came down one sunday recently for the day. Their car was parked on street, behind ours and in front of our house. Someone from the council or something was walking along the street putting notices on all the cars to let everyone know that the road had to be free of traffic that coming week, due to road works. Cue mad panic from father in law "you'll have to get up early to move the car" - no we wont - dh takes it to work before the time it has to be moved, "yes, don't forget to get up early to move the car" - really don't worry, its not a problem. "Id get up early and move it to another street if I was you" REALLY THERE'S NO PROBLEM!! FFS! Youre panicking about something that DOESNT EVEN CONCERN YOU! I had to leave the room, he kept going on and I didn't want to say something I regretted.

Im angry with my fat arse, Im 22 weeks tomorrow (dc 3) and feel massive already, Im 5' 3" and so I think I look big quickly sad Im hating that my maternity jeans are feeling too tight around my arse/hip area, and having to get scrutinized twice a day on the school run. Theres a mum at school, due in 3 weeks and she is tall and willowy and has only put bump weight on by the looks of it, I feel rounder and not at all cute sad

Glad that's out, thanks grin

Geordiegirl79 Fri 18-Oct-13 11:42:33

Genius thread.
Woman at my work told me a couple of weeks ago that I was 'so much bigger than last time' err how does she remember that from three years ago? When I said I didn't think I was actually, she said 'Oh well you know when people are plodding around it can make them look bigger'. Yeah, thanks for that. Very helpful.

Also people touching / rubbing the bump without asking or even without speaking to me, just addressing the baby directly. IT'S STILL MY STOMACH!!!

Geordiegirl79 Fri 18-Oct-13 11:43:25

That feels better.

BummyMummy77 Fri 18-Oct-13 13:11:33

Oh no. Dh has just told me we have to go see mil today. I literally cannot stand being within a mile of her.

She'll hug me and say "wow, you're big, have you been looking after my Grandbaby properly?" and I'll get the totally overwhelming urge to punch her in the face, drop her to the floor and drag her around by the hair kicking her in the stomach.

Oh God. I'm not even exaggerating. Dh has noticed before because he asks me why I get this weird look on my face 'like I'm trying to hold in a poo?'.

When baby is born I may actually bite or stab her if she tried to touch him. I wish it were like the olden days where you could go off into your dark cave and snarl at people instead of all this friendly "would you like to hold him?" bullshit.

sad

Geordiegirl79 Fri 18-Oct-13 15:32:58

Finished work now but when I was there I was getting major rage at everyone being so sure they knew the gender of the baby. Well you've got a 50/50 chance of being right, fuckwits.

ladymalfoy Fri 18-Oct-13 19:20:36

Had a three and a half hour meeting today. One of my senior colleagues commented on my frequent bathroom breaks and my need to swivel my hips and generally stretch. I did all of this in the staff room out of sight. Luckily mu union rep happened by and sorted the situation. My colleague is childless through choice but her insensitivity and officious manner made me want to table slam her fucking face.

BummyMummy77 Sun 20-Oct-13 16:29:37

I got tipped over the edge last night for the first time. (With the in laws).

I get asked the same bloody question EVERY time I see them "how are you feeling?" so last night I actually gave an honest answer. "Oh, I'm in pain pretty much everywhere apart from my ears, toes and hands, getting 3 hours of broken sleep a night, my acid is so bad I have ulcers in my mouth and my HG had returned big time so I can't keep anything down."

To which mil says "not long now, enjoy relaxing while you still get the chance to" and sil says "you're really not very good at being pregnant are you?"

WHORE. I can't remember ever being so angry. I'm so angry still I typed the 'c' word instead of whore but realised that may be a bit offensive. (I'm still thinking it though.)

Flew out of the room and ran outside because it's not good etiquette for you to punch in laws and pregnant women fighting probably isn't a pretty sight.

Dh came out and found me kicking the crap out of their tomato plants and after ascertaining what was wrong stormed back in, called his sister an insensitive, spoilt little bitch and made her apologise.

All she's done is make shitty comments the whole way through about how nobody pregnant she's ever known had health issues and silly I am to be careful about things (raw meat, illnesses, not going white water rafting!)

I can't WAIT until she's pregnant. She'll constantly whine like a little bitch (I'm thinking that in a Jessie from Breaking Bad voice) and will have a far worse pregnancy than anyone else in the world. (I sincerely fucking hope.)

BummyMummy77 Sun 20-Oct-13 16:54:41

Oh. Another thing that's giving me intense RAGE today is this American pregnancy board I'm on.

Full of these pig ignorant women who wind me up in a plethora of ways such as the following posts.

"Omg!! Seriously just seen this on FB - Eoghan pronounced Owen.. W-t-f...why?! Just why!?!?!? At what point would that seem like a good idea????"

Followed by loads of comments like:

How do you know how it's pronounced?? If they had to clarify how you say it, they should have known it was a horrible idea haha

Oh that's sad!!!!!! Terrible choice!!!

I guess she wants her son to grow up and be a porn star :/ smh...

And others who constantly post about how they aren't getting what they wanted at their showers, their families aren't buying enough baby stuff for them and the ridiculous amount of money spent on nurseries, bedding sets and GOING HOME OUTFITS! Don't get me wrong, if you've got the money and want to spend it, go ahead, but the majority of these women constantly bitch about not being able to afford a £100 nappy bag and how nasty their families are for not buying them.

Get a fucking grip women. I swear the UK Mums are for the most part much less mental.

ladymalfoy Sun 20-Oct-13 20:38:36

Got my rage on good and proper. Just wrathful at everything at the moment.
I can't be fuckin arsed with anything I'm so batshit angry. I want to start my Mat leave now but I've got 8 weeks to go. Fuck everyone do you hear! Just Fuck.

Emberlina76 Sun 20-Oct-13 21:28:55

Oh my godddd! I have the rage, everything is winding me up, particularly DH (who incidentally I threatened to 'take completely out', all 24 stone of him today in front of the poor bloke who is working on our house' I was actually spitting at the poor man where I couldn't even get my words out. I don't know WHY DH has changed into some annoying dickwad all of a sudden. Why now?! I've been on the verge of crying all day long. Just read this post and I'm laughing hysterically. DH is scared I think.......!

Emberlina76 Sun 20-Oct-13 21:38:07

You know what else! My lovely comfy pillow that I lent to my friend 3 years ago which I just got back today which I NEED as I can't sleep and anything helps, HE is sitting with it wrapped round his big fat fucking head and in laying on a pillow like a wafer with my neck at a broken angle! God sake! So selfish! Earlier I was freezing (he's got the window open) I say 'can you shut the window please im cold' he goes 'I'm hot' - erm 'IM COLD' - completely ignored me. Window is still open. Fucking dickhead! - he has a bath, leaves the water in and gets himself all sorted and in bed - YOU ARE NOT A CHILD! I cooked and he loaded the dishwasher and did the kitchen but NEVER EVER bothers putting the tablet in and putting iron. How the fuck do you think it washes without starting it you shit face?!?!

Geordiegirl79 Sun 20-Oct-13 22:28:55

Emberlina, it sounds like something of his might have to be thrown through that open window! smile

tumbletumble Mon 21-Oct-13 07:46:51

Funniest thread ever

WhisperMen Mon 21-Oct-13 08:21:46

ooh em your DH is giving me the rage too. Break something of his that he loves. It'll make you feel amazing.

I had the rage with DP the other day because he brought me home a suprise pizza. I have been craving pizza for about 2 weeks and so he thought he was doing a nice thing. Only thing is the bastard got one with salami on it. I fucking hate salami. I took it all off and then burned my mouth on the hot cheese.

BummyMummy77 Mon 21-Oct-13 15:16:02

Oooooh Apple are my rage providers today.

The absolute tosspieces have just announced their new operating system is to be called 'Maverick'. Which is what we intend to name ds.

Fucknuts! Now everyone is going to think we named him after a sodding Mac OS! May as well call him fucking 'snow leopard' or 'OSx 7.02' and be done with it.

Bollocks. Doesn't help that his middle name will be 'Eifion' which someone has pointed out sounds like iPhone. Fml.

LateBear Mon 21-Oct-13 18:28:24

Ah this thread has made me laugh!
Damn woman at the checkout had the nerve to ask me today 'how much longer? (Um til what?) Do you know what your having?(um a baby) Got any names?( fuck off and mind your own business!) actually managed to keep those responses in my head and she was rewarded with a fake smile and the bare minimum civil response! Stop asking me fucking questions!
As for the neighbours on each side and the workman over the road giving it this shock and telling me how big I am when I tell them still have 9 weeks to go you can all fuck off, I am a whole 2 kgs overweight according to the recommendations and midwife measurements are all spot on so I don't need your bl

WhisperMen Mon 21-Oct-13 18:28:57

for fucks sake DP. Why do you have to constantly have the fucking tv on. You're not even fucking watching it. You're in the bloody kitchen but if I turn it off you come in and turn it back on again. I just want a bit of peace and quiet. Is that too much? Must I be subjected to episodes of top gear you have seen five billion times before. ARGHHHHHHHH

LateBear Mon 21-Oct-13 18:30:03

Argh now it's phone rage ! Was going to say I don't need your bloody 'expert' opinion so shut up! Rant over smile

littleomar Mon 21-Oct-13 20:09:38

I called the moon a cunt today because it failed to make me go into labour when it was full at the weekend.

I am avoiding interaction with people generally because sooner or later I am going to lose it with someone who tells me I'm carrying small for twins. No actually I'm fucking huge, are you blind?

Geordiegirl79 Mon 21-Oct-13 21:45:38

littleomar your moon comment made me laugh so much!

I am waiting for the rage to truly kick in during labour. I remember the red mist descending when, through a fog of gas and air, I heard DP munching crisps.

tumbletumble Tue 22-Oct-13 06:57:54

My labour rage peaked when I was waiting for DH to come to the car and drive me to the hospital. What was he doing? Why was he taking so long??? Found him making himself a cheese and pickle sandwich... RAGE!!!

JoJoManon Tue 22-Oct-13 09:40:37

I'm glad it isn't just me, I wonder if you kill anyone while pregnant it would be deemed temporary insanity.
It was my birthday yesterday and I got so annoyed seeing birthday texts keep popping up so I had to respond. How irrational am I?!

Geordiegirl79 Tue 22-Oct-13 10:28:10

Ha ha I lost the plot last time when, as soon as the due date had arrived, the endless texts started to flood in. 'Any news yet?' I couldn't believe how utterly brainless people could be. One of my colleagues actually texted me at about twenty am on the morning of the due date. I could have fucking killed her as it woke me up.

DD was ten days overdue and by the end of it I had rather a long list of people NOT to contact when she actually did arrive.

Geordiegirl79 Tue 22-Oct-13 10:28:46

Woops I meant two am not twenty am

justamouse Tue 22-Oct-13 10:58:04

Raging at fil for referring to me as 'the grandson factory'. He means it affectionately(apparently), I want to tell him to fuck off and that I'm not a production line. Also, when we told him and mil the sex of the baby after the scan, he piped up confident as you like 'I knew it, knew it'. No, you bloody didn't. You had a 50/50 chance of guessing.
My mum asks, every single bloody time on the phone, how 'her' bump is. Snapped this last time and told her that 'her' bump is 30 years old and increasingly irritated.
I'm also raging at the thought of things that haven't even and may never happen. Like fil going outside to have a cig and then wanting to be near the baby, yeah the one that still has 7 weeks to arrive. Or, people ringing/texting on due date to ask for updates if lo hasn't arrived yet. I don't think I'll even turn my phone on in the days leading up to it. Irrational isn't it, these aren't even things, they're imagined things.

justamouse Tue 22-Oct-13 11:00:50

littleomar I love your moon rage comment. Cheered me up that did!

Thingymajigs Tue 22-Oct-13 11:21:02

I hated that too justamouse. We had an unusual 12 week scan pic that showed a full frontal view of the body. After excitedly showing this to relatives and friends they all pointed to the suspicious blur between the legs and abruptly said, "BOY." I felt so angry that these people were ruining something so personal just so they could feel like Sherlock bloody Holmes for 5 minutes.
My rage about DP stomping along the floors has reached a critical level. He isn't even heavy. He's about 11 stone at most but seems to put all of that weight right into his heels with each step. I ended up shouting last night but he is completely oblivious. I wonder if "walked around house like a rioting elephant" has ever been put down as grounds for divorce. grin

Emberlina76 Tue 22-Oct-13 11:32:59

Im working from home today andDH has decided to stay at home and continue decorating the lounge (ongoing saga which has taken over every room of the house and I've been confined to the bedroom for a week now) his constant pointless questions are driving me BESERK! This morning I took the curtains down for the window and took DS to school then took them to the dry cleaners as I need them altered to window sill length. He calls me. I'm in tescos. 'Did you take the curtains down?' - WFF?!?! Who the fuck else would have taken them down?! Maybe someone broke in during the night and stole my sodding curtains? What do you recon?!?! Me: (trying to not throw my phone into the freezer in Tescos) 'yes. I'm taking them to be altered'. Him: 'did you measure them?' - what the frigging hell are you on about you nob head?!?! No, I didn't measure them, I just took them down and told the dry cleaner to do whatever length he fancied! - I hung up. Got home. I'm on a conf call. I'm on mute listening. He's talking to me. Then says 'what exactly is going on on that call? Why aren't you talking? What's the point of it?' - OMG! Fuck offfffffffffff! THEN he says 'why are you so aggressive today?'. Some one lock the knife drawer please.........

moobaloo Tue 22-Oct-13 13:28:55

I LOVE this thread! I don't have any preggo rage just yet I don't think as I am a mere 9+2 and have no idea what all of you ahead of me are going through, but I fully support your rage grin

Actually I may be developing rage. I was very frustrated when trying to open a tin of food the other day because we have THREE tin openers and NONE of them would work properly and the tin was mangled and dp said "would you like me to help?" and I shouted "NO!" GRRRR

haha. poor man.

Absolutely love the previous comment about punching MILs and dragging them around the floor. I feel I may get those sort of urges with mine, and she doesn't even KNOW about her dgc yet!

Keep it up ladies grin

Geordiegirl79 Tue 22-Oct-13 13:31:54

Welcome to the Rage. grin

WhisperMen Tue 22-Oct-13 13:40:40

threw a complete hissy fit last night. I asked DP to make me a cup of tea because I had really bad back ache and couldn't stand up for very long. He goes in the kitchen and comes out half an hour later. HALF AN HOUR with a glass of water and a sandwich for himself. No tea for me. Asked him where the tea was and he replied with "oh I thought you didn't want one and I was hungry so I made myself some food. The milk is in the kitchen if you want to make a drink though, I'll have one while you're there" I threw the remote at his head and stomped off to bed. Selfish bastard.

Geordiegirl79 Tue 22-Oct-13 13:56:44

Oh no WhisperMen that's awful! Could you tape something sharp to the remote control next time?

Today's rage is the men doing next door's double glazing. Not anyone's fault but I was just planning on having a bath and maybe a snooze and they have decided to move onto the upstairs rooms. The drilling is doing my fucking head in. I can't even get mad because we did so much noisy work on our house last year, this must be payback!

BummyMummy77 Tue 22-Oct-13 18:12:00

It's only 1pm here and 14 people have texted/whats app/vibered me already.

"Has the bomb dropped yet?"
"Any news"
"He out yet?"

etc etc.

Go fucking boil your heads you utter pricks. My due date is the mother fucking SIXTH OF NOVEMBER. I'm a ftm and showing NO signs so will probably even go a week over. I seriously can't cope with the constant asking. If I turn my phone off people will bitch that they're worried.

Sil has asked we text her the minute I go into labour and she'll come right over. When I told her I didn't want her at the birth she said she'll keep popping round. So now I'm having to labour upstairs so she can't just barge in while I'm in the birthing tub. Stupid shitface bitch.

PopcornGrace Tue 22-Oct-13 21:08:17

Great thread. Thank-you. Makes me feel normal that its not just me (31 weeks)

Rhibeetee Tue 22-Oct-13 22:38:33

Oh this thread has made me feel so much better! I went from rage to tears of laughter!
Thank you ladies ��
I cannot believe that it's taken me til 38 weeks to find a British bunch of preggos!

WhisperMen Wed 23-Oct-13 17:42:13

I am in the hospital because of an infection. Came in yesterday evening. I have the worlds worst woman in the bed next to me.

She fucking sings in her sleep. Opera style. The midwives kept waking her up and then she would fall asleep and start warbling again. WHO THE FUCK SINGS IN THEIR SLEEP?

you thought that was bad?

oh no it gets worse...

SHE MUMBLES CONSTANTLY WHEN SHE IS AWAKE. A low level whiney mumbly noise is coming from her. I am going to fucking stab her in the face with my knitting needle if she does not shut the fuck up. I don't think she knows she is making a noise either.

<rage>

BummyMummy77 Wed 23-Oct-13 18:18:42

whisper That sounds shitty. Sorry. sad

Dh has got sympathy rage today.

It started this morning as he brought me some Crunchy Nut Cornflakes in bed and I started moaning about the spoon he'd brought (didn't feel right, more of a soupy spoon than a cornflaky spoon). He snatched it off me and threw it out of the window. He's obviously been learning some of my 'if you're pissed off - throw shit' - tricks.

So his Mother pops over for a cup of tea and the midwife yesterday must have got him all riled about having a babymoon or 'us time' as he flies into one about how her and his Dad will be able to visit us the day after (home birth) at a half hour of our choosing. And then that's it for a week and if she's going to tell anyone the baby has been born she'd best tell them we don't want visitors dropping by (where we live everyone pops round to each others houses unannounced and walks straight in, we live on an island where nobody locks their doors).

She gets a bit pissy and says "well if people want to come round and see the baby that's their right" at which dh flings a cushion across the room, yells "no FUCK that Mom, I'm not having every germy shithead on this island mauling MY baby" and slams out of the house.

Bastard. Leaving me sitting there with his astounded Mother (he's never yelled at her from what I've known) looking all sniffy and offended and me on the verge of total hysterics.

I'm so proud of him. May even let him have sex later.

headoverheels Wed 23-Oct-13 18:30:37

Go go go MrBummyMummy!!

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Wed 23-Oct-13 18:59:35

I am on crutches because of spd. At work on Monday about seventy zillion people asked "ooh, what you done then?" When I politely answered "it's a pregnancy complication" I actually lost count of the number of people who replied "oh, just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you need crutches".

NO SHIT SHERLOCK! Actually I'm just hobbling about with an agonised expression for fun! FUCK THE FUCK OFF.

Fuckers.

ladymalfoy Wed 23-Oct-13 20:10:43

The La Redoute advert. That fucking shite accent? Is she really French or what? I want to spit when I hear it.

Ah, my people.

The next person to say "not long now" or "hasn't that gone quickly" will bear the brunt.

justamouse Thu 24-Oct-13 08:19:39

Asked dh to ask his parents and brother what they would like for xmas this year. As baby is due early December, they've all said 'oh no, don't get us anything, you've got enough to worry about'. I want to get the presents in at the start of November because I don't right fancy waddling around the shops late November, early December. If they don't tell us soon they'll be getting fuck all.
Also, I'm not worried about having a baby. Why, when you ask someone a question can they not just answer it.

Jeremy Vine show on radio2, really grinds my gears. Usually all the time, but more so this week. What a simpering, self rightious load of crap that is.

kchapper5 Thu 24-Oct-13 08:51:32

Go mrbummymummy I'd be proud of him too smile
justamouse Jeremy vine has always made me ridiculously angry but if I listen now with the preggo rage I'm
On the verge of ringing up and shouting at the callers

BummyMummy77 Thu 24-Oct-13 15:52:00

I just had to sit my US driving theory test which in itself has made me fucking furious as I've been driving 18 years and had to sit in a church hall with a bunch of drunks and 16 year olds answering ridiculous fucking questions about percentages of crashes involving moose and why it's not good to drink 50 pints then drive on ice.

To cap it off no less than 3 of the drunks tried to chat me up.

Then the dmv guy tells me he's 'never seen anyone as pregnant as me please don't go into labour during the test' and "do I need to wee first?"

Pricks.

Emilycee Thu 24-Oct-13 16:10:55

grin grin grin BummyMummy at you and your dh! love it!

Rhibeetee Thu 24-Oct-13 20:46:05

My lovely husband - Fucker, came in from work, Made himself a brew, which he drank extremely loudly!!! Then announced he's watching football at 6.
Said he was going to chop some wood, with a mardy look on his face, so I said leave it til the weekend if you're tired (even if I'm sat covered in blankets coz I'm freezing all day long). I Said why don't you go for a shower and put some cream on because your skin is starting to look red again (eczema). He went up at 4.45, I had been holding a wee since 4.50 (my bladder fills up the second there's anyone in the bathroom). 30 mins later, I went upstairs (because I couldn't hold my wee any more) after putting the tea on for the kids and putting the dead hamster outside (which he'd said he would do as soon as he got home). He wasn't even in the fucking shower. He was Laid on the bed!!
Now, he was either sleeping, which wouldn't bother me so much....Or he'd had a wank, which fucking pisses me off because tbh, I could do with the fucking sperm to soften my cervix and get this baby out. And he knows that! But when we have sex, he can't fucking finish (probably because I'm a hormonal wreck and he finds me being pregnant a bit weird -something he still won't admit to).
Twat.
I'm having period pains a lot today. It could be the perfect time for sperm but no, he's a selfish bastard.
I've had to finish making tea for the boys, hes come down, after eventually having a shower, put the football on, I've ended up cooking for him while he shouts at the fucking telly and makes me jump every 2 seconds.
I was hoping my waters would go so he couldnt fucking watch it. Prick.
I'm gonna break his hand when I'm in labour. And headbutt him repeatedly.
I might punch him in the bollocks every time I have a contraction too.

I told him, I said yesterday....after he'd said he was sorry I was miserable and that it was 50% his fault.
I said a bit more than that.
He said why?
I said who's fault is it that you can't finish,
he said his fault.
I said well there you go. It's entirely your fault I'm pregnant then because your sperm is your responsibility.

So he made the baby be in there and won't fucking get it out! He may aswell set fire to my hair.

BummyMummy77 Thu 24-Oct-13 23:38:19

Rhi LOL. Get a turkey baster.

I too am planning on REALLY hurting dh when in labour. I actually fucking HATE him. Nobody has ever made me want to punch them in the face more.

He disagrees with every.single.fucking.thing.i.say. I could say the sky is blue and that prick would come up for some reason why I'm wrong.

I've asked that we get the car seat checked after it's been put in. He says he can do it properly and that's unnecessary. He's not put one cunting car seat in one cunting car in his whole life. I, on the other hand, have installed at least 40-50 (worked as a maternity nurse for over 18 years) and I still feel it wouldn't hurt to have someone WHO HAS HAD PROPER TRAINING AND IS PART OF THEIR JOB look it over.

Then today he wants to spend over £100 on a snowsuit for baby. He's going to be a fucking BABY this winter why the FUCK do we need to put him in a designer snowsuit? Does dh intend putting him in a fucking snow drift? Twat. He then says "why would they make them 0-3 month size if they didn't need them?" At which point I say (loudly in the shop) "because people like you buy them" at which all the serving girls and people shopping crack up and he pisses off next door in a huff and gets himself a chai latte knowing it's my favourite. Well fuck him because I bought ANOTHER nappy bag. One with flowers on so he can't use it.

I've asked him, no begged him, to go out tonight. I want to watch American Horror Story, do my nails, eat my McVites digestives I paid $20 for on Amazon and try to get this poo that's been stuck for days out.

SomethingOnce Thu 24-Oct-13 23:46:12

$20 for biscuits - are you serous?!

BummyMummy77 Thu 24-Oct-13 23:51:27

I know. The shop near me used to sell them but now I can only get them imported through Amazon. I can't find biscuits here that taste the same.

sad

SomethingOnce Fri 25-Oct-13 00:13:01

Well, it'd better be a big ol' pack for $20.

Can't you just fly a friend over with a suitcase full, or is there some law against it these days?

BummyMummy77 Fri 25-Oct-13 03:25:37

That would be amazing. I did come back with a suitcase full of Walker's chicken crisps last time.

It was 3 smallish packs. I need to find some biscuits I like here!

KalevalaForMePlease Fri 25-Oct-13 04:28:29

I know how you feel, BummyMummy. I'm in Oz and I'm craving Hunky Dorys. You can get lots of stuff from back home (Ireland) here, but not them, which only makes me crave them even more during this pregnancy. So I asked my sister to send me over a care package. And what did I get? Two packets of 'snack size'! Why the fuck did she even fucking bother?

Toothfairy78 Mon 28-Oct-13 00:26:05

Wow. This thread is great.

Can I add useless colleague who does not pull his weight?

He moaned about being co-opted into this group programme (just like the rest of us) cos he's got too much work on. He's got a grand total of 1 project and doesn't have spare time like the rest of us. He's a fucking software engineer for fuck sake! He doesn't even have deal with the real world! You got a project to do? Boohoo! Me and some of the others have around 40+ projects and customers to deal with AND daily tasks on top of that!

He volunteered to lead a project with me. Shows up at a meeting not having a clue despite rest of team having done their bit.

I duly reminded him he volunteered to lead this project with me and that means he should be aware of what's going on and that everyone else managed to follow up and warned him I have no problem telling people off in front of others...

What a fat useless waste of skin. If he screws up this week I'll put his fucking balls in a vice...

BummyMummy77 Mon 28-Oct-13 18:09:00

I so couldn't be working right now. I'm a maternity nurse and think my rage combined with new Mum's and babies would not go down so well.

Today has brought me lots of rage. Quite justified I think.

First rage incident - midwives come and talk to me about group b strep testing. They tell me I don't have to do it but it's recommended here and after silently listening for a while and taking it all in dh announces that he thinks I ought to get the test as "how can we be sure she's always careful to wipe front to back?"

What the actual fuck? The midwives looked more horrified than I did. We decided I would not be having the test but maybe dh would like to have the swab stuck up his arse to see what results they find. I love my midwives ad their humour injection stopped dh getting punched in the face.

Then he actually shouted at one of them as they went to use the loo "remember, front to back". What a prick.

Second rage incident was trying to get one of dh's (had to be his didn't it?) stupid socks out of the back of our ridiculously over sized American tumble drier and falling in, thus whacking my head and scrapping my knee. I sat on the floor for a few minutes crying and shaking with anger until I got the idea to go and kick dh's pumpkin he spent ages carving last night off the porch.

Have any Mums who've had previous (babies not jail time) had the rage during the birth? My Mum really did and I'm worried I'm not going to be very zen like and home birthy.

BummyMummy77 Mon 28-Oct-13 18:10:01

Auto correct put that apostrophe in 'Mums' not me!!!

Rhibeetee Mon 28-Oct-13 18:19:56

Oh my goodness!
It had not occurred to me that the rage could follow into labour!!! God help everyone if it does.

I've been rage free today...yesterday's calmness followed into today.
I even went for an unsuccessful sweep, came home and calmly did the ironing and floors as I'd saved them to encourage cervical progression. Mum came round, we had cake and coffee and a nice little giggle. DH came home and I was actually glad to see him (I even got up to kiss him).

Now though, all I want to do is cry. I feel useless and defeated and hopeless and just generally unsettled and upset.
I want my rage back! Please!!!!

Kicking pumpkins sounds like so much fun. I do not like feeling this sorry for myself. I'm going to get in a big duvet made ball and hide!

BummyMummy77 Mon 28-Oct-13 18:35:37

Yes the feeling sorry for yourself is AWFUL.

I'd much rather be angry. The unsettled feeling is the worst.

Imagine if the rage goes in to the birth. What if I start finding my midwives annoying and become a screaming, potty mouthed harpy?

Rhibeetee Tue 29-Oct-13 06:01:47

I'm quite enjoying the idea of labour rage!!
Imagine what obscenities could come out during that experience ��

The closest I've come to that during labour, was accidentally (on purpose) nearly kicking the midwife in the face for taking off my socks to put surgery stockings on MID CONTRACTION!
1. Don't touch my fucking feet
2. Don't touch my fucking feet during a contraction
3. Don't touch my fucking feet, during a contraction when you've taken the gas and air off me.
All she had to say for herself was...'I'm only putting these stockings on for surgery'
To which she got a death stare and I told her not to fucking touch my feet...she did anyway. Stupid bitch. I wish I'd managed to make contact with her face.
That's the only time I've ever sworn in labour.

I don't like people touching my feet.

BummyMummy77 Wed 30-Oct-13 15:17:15

MIL is dragging me out to lunch.

I've told her I slept 2 hours last night, my back is in agony and I can't actually eat as I throw everything straight back up. (Let alone whatever RANK shite they've made, I think it's pumpkin pie which revolts me to my core).

So now she calls up just before I'm due to leave and asks me if I can walk to hers as she's running late (it's over a fucking mile away and up a hill) and that she also has to do some shopping on the way back. (Sitting in a car for more than five minutes brings on back ache so bad I throw up).

FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT.

I'm due any day and this she bitch from hell is trying to break me.

rhibeetee are you quite sure you don't want your feet touched grin?

bummy I think the perfect response to your MIL is: 'call me back when you actually want to go out. At the moment, you want me to be a convenience to you, and I'm not willing to be that'.
Or, y'know, 'FUCK YOU, BITCH FROM HELL'. Whichever works.

grin

eisbaer Wed 30-Oct-13 22:47:01

I am love, love, loving this thread, it's the first thing in months not to piss me off!

cookiemonster100 Wed 30-Oct-13 23:07:24

Hi,

This thread is properly making me larf out loud!

Hubby is getting on wick! Why the heck can he not pick up after himself! Doesn't he get it hurts to bend & pick things up of the floor. Clean the f*ing bath once you are finished dick for brains. I don't want to sit in your scuminess. Repeating myself is not a hobby I enjoy. Stop complaining how much the cleaner is. If we didn't have her we would live in a shit tip coz you certainatly are not going to tidy up.
You are too old to play on a games console. Your 36 not 16. Man up.
Finally get over the fact paternity leave is not annual leave. If baby don't sleep, I don't sleep I can guarantee you you won't sleep. Fact. If I have to hear how coz you work shifts you will cope better with the sleep deprivation I will punch you. You just about survive sleeping, getting up waiting to get ready for work, get ready for work, go to work, come home & then sleep. Somehow the rest of us can fit in a life, housework etc around our FT jobs but "I work shifts" anything outside of work is a bit beyond you.

Oooh that's better smile

WhisperMen Thu 31-Oct-13 13:36:49

my DP STINKS today. I have told him to shower as he smells like wet dog and he refuses. It is making me feel sick but apparently I am being a crazy pregnant lady and it is my hormones that are telling me he smells.

I can't stop throwing up if I have so much as half a slice of toast and yesterday I made flapjacks that are sitting there looking at me. I can't eat them because I will just throw them up and waste them.

Polka2 Thu 31-Oct-13 13:56:37

This is an AMAZING thread! I'm so relieved it isn't just me that wants to stab DH's eyes out - especially when he looks at me when I'm making valid points (nagging) about him leaving his crap everywhere and not pulling his weight!!

SomethingOnce Thu 31-Oct-13 14:18:33

Why, for the love of God, do they find it so difficult to understand what tidy is, and to make tidy happen? FFS.

Rhibeetee Thu 31-Oct-13 14:35:22

So,
A couple of nights ago, baby dropped and a few pains started. I phoned my mum to put her on standby to listen out for the phone incase we needed her to come and watch the boys while we went to hospital. My mum is rather calm and understands that pains can stop and start without being anything at all.
So then DH decides he should call MIL and put her on standby too. Wtf for?! I asked him not to because she'd just get all excited and annoying and she'd sit up all night waiting for the phone. He blatantly ignored my wise advice and called her anyway.
Half an hour he was on the phone to her. Half an hour. Here is just a small sample of the conversation....

MIL: Don't you go driving the car to hospital, you'll be panicking, I'll drive you.
DH: I haven't got a driving license Mother, why would I drive?
MIL: Well if you're panicking....
DH: the midwife has told us to call an ambulance.
MIL: why? I'll take you

Umm, maybe because you'll loiter round the hospital until the baby is born and insist you meet him first when we want his brothers to be the first ones. Thanks.

MIL: we've got some champagne for when he's arrived. You will come and have a drink with us, won't you? Even if it's 3am?

Ummm, no! My husband will be by my side at 3am, he'll not be traipsing an hour to your house when our baby has just been born. What world do you live in??

Then yesterday, I had to take my friend into hospital as she was having a miscarriage. MIL texted to see if everything was ok and how my pains were. I checked my phone an hour after she sent it and replied immediately to say things had calmed down and where I'd been and why. She responded with a gobful of abuse about how selfish I was and how worried she was that I hadn't replied. She phoned DH at work and hadn't had a response either and could we possibly think about her next time.
Fuck off, my priority wasn't you! My poor friend was going through hell. And as if we'd go into hospital without telling her anyway....well the idea is a little more tempting now.

ladymalfoy Thu 31-Oct-13 15:26:41

No rage today. Yesterday SIL was portion controlling me when we went for a meal. I had smaller a smaller portion than her kids! She served everyone before me then gave me 3 baby potatoes and 4 baby carrots and a spoonful of peas. I am not even joking.
However,having been treated like pregnant royalty at the hotel me and DH stayed at before we visited SIL I let it wash over me.
DH is now constructing my rocking chair after I had a meltdown in the car because my skin is so shit. Infected acne or impetigo the doc wasn't sure but I've been so depressed about it.
I still want to table slam the bitch though. It's her split personality that makes me stabby. Lovely one minute,patronising and nasty the next. Gah!

ladymalfoy Thu 31-Oct-13 15:28:18

And some folks use the hormone excuse for being shitty. They know you'll stick up for yourself but just smile slyly. Fuckers!

BummyMummy77 Thu 31-Oct-13 15:29:15

Rhib - she sounds exactly the opposite of what you need now.

We have to tell our in laws when I go into labour as they have to have the puppy.

I'm sticking it out until the LAST moment to tell them though (they live 5 minutes away), I figure she'll be ok until I'm really in pain, I worry about the little monster jumping in the birthing pool more than anything lol.

I said the most awful thing to dh this morning. I'm REALLY stressed and upset that I have to leave my nest and do a 3 hour trip to the mainland for at least a day when I feel like I could pop any second but there's a big storm coming and the life flights won't be able to run so I have to get somewhere where I can have access to a hospital if I need.

He's dicking about saying things like "we don't have to lug the birthing pool do we?" and "what we have to take ALL the birthing supplies? That's going to take me ages to pack up the car." Horrible fucking WANKER. No, babe. I'm due ANY DAY now but fuck it, I'll just give birth on the side of the road with no medical supplies so I don't inconvenience you.

I was so upset I finally tried getting my point across by throwing myself on the floor sobbing and said "I don't know why you even bother waking up in the morning. I fucking hate you more than I've ever hated anyone".

So he brings me a piece of ham. HAM? I'm actually just going to bed as I'd rather be unconscious than be anywhere near him.

BummyMummy77 Fri 01-Nov-13 18:38:01

I just overheard dh on the phone to someone who'd obviously asked how I was and he told them "yes she has bad acid, vomiting, terrible pain in her stomach and back and can't really move much". He then says "but it's all fun and games and part of it isn't it?".

PRICK!

angry

Emberlina76 Sat 02-Nov-13 08:50:08

Im actually worried that I'm going to feel like this for the rest of my life! Its sooooooo draining being this pissed off! And it can't be JUST my hormones that make me want to smack DH in the face on sight an it? If he wasn't so bloody annoying and lazy I wouldn't have cause to get pissed off with things. He is more of a drama queen than anyone I've ever met. Everything is a big deal. He's so negative about everything (gets that from his stupid mother). I wake up in the morning thinking 'I will not get wound up with you today' and within 5 minutes or less Bam! He's done it! He's made me want to push him down the stairs! Other things wind me up at the moment but nothing like him. What's the friggin point?! X

BummyMummy77 Sat 02-Nov-13 14:05:23

Ok so what is it that is making us all hate dh's more than anyone else?

This is obviously some nature/evolution thing and 9 times out of 10 you can see the point and reason. (Apart from morning sickness, dh and I have racked our brains and still can't see a benefit of making a pregnant woman throw everything up and feel like dying for 4 months).

I mean, why would the natural order of things make us put concerted effort into trying to chase our partners away?!

Dh 'hoovered' last night. He literally did a little circle in the middle of the room. He 'mopped' too. He used the dirty mop he hadn't cleaned from last time (had bits all over it), used one bucket of cool water for the entire downstairs and as hadn't hoovered now I'll have to throw the mop away as it's just covered in dog and cat hair and shite. JUST DON'T FUCKING BOTHER.

Why is he doing this to me? Every job he does he does in such a half hearted shit way it's going to take me more work to undo it.

I'm too far gone now to get angry anymore, I just lie limply on the sofa and sob.

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Sat 02-Nov-13 14:34:37

Who was the total, total fuckwit arsing around behind my car in the car park??? He watched me load ds in the back then haul myself into the driver's seat. He then sat behind me, shuffling back and forth whilst having a conversation with a woman standing in front of my car. THEY WERE LAUGHING!

I cannot see how any jury would have convicted me had I shot then both in the head.

MrsRV Sat 02-Nov-13 21:15:07

I have actually laughed out loud reading the whole of this thread.

I'm 12 weeks and I just know I am being EVIL to DH. Can't help it!!

DH stinks - its his breath. He's constantly fucking randy & trying to grope me & its making me want to kick him in the bollocks. However, massaging shoulders/head massaging/non-sexual stroking is pretty much essential.

He has now started going into another bathroom to spray his deodorant. Progress.

He has EVENTUALLY emptied the kitchen bin after me having to sit with part cardigan wrapped around my face. He did however have sheer fucking audacity to suggest that I had a pair of hands!?! WTF!?! Bins???? Uh... NO. I fill up bin. You empty it. You not around, bin gets overfilled until you are around.

DD is 20 months old and has hand foot & mouth. Hilarious when friend sang "Head, shoulders, foot and mouth, foot and mouth".... When DH re-sang to someone on phone I just looked at him like "what a dick".

The way DH is sitting on the sofa us SERIOUSLY making me want to kill him. I have told him time & time again that the cushions are going all mis-shapen (because he can't just sit like normal fucking human being).

He has just asked if I've finished with the phone charger. I have. It's on my side of the room. He just leans forward as if fully expecting me to get up, unplug said charger, walk across room & give charger to him. Fuck that. Unplugged, swung around & thrown & plug has hit his bare leg/ankle/foot "oh sorry" HA!!!!

qazxc Sun 03-Nov-13 14:30:41

Woke up this morning with DP breathing in my face, pinning me in position with one arm and one leg. sadistic twat!
and he keeps cooking even though i am nauseated, can he not live on dry toast like i do?
I going to wack the fucker in the face with an iron!

ladymalfoy Mon 04-Nov-13 19:31:06

Fuck you dishwasher! DH has had the fucker apart and the arms still won't spin. He's adjusted the pressure,cleaned the fucker and steam cleaned it inside and through the arms and stuff. It still won't fucking clean because the fucking arms won't fucking spin. I want to hurt it. Fucker!

Apparentlychilled Mon 04-Nov-13 19:50:00

God, I'm the same. I told DH to F off within 30 mins of getting out of bed (w real anger), and then burst out crying, and couldnt even stop crying when DS (2) said "why you crying? you ok?". And I really lost it with DD this evening. I feel like a shit wife and mother.

BummyMummy77 Mon 04-Nov-13 21:23:27

My dishwasher broke last month. I need a new one but the timing sucks!

So after having this all planned out for MONTHS, I go into labour, in laws (who live 5 minutes away) have the puppy as I'm having a home birth and there will come a point where she's waaaay too bouncy (birthing pool and a nearly 5 stone dog?) and it will probably upset her so she was going to go down the road to them for a couple of nights.

Mil has just, JUST announced they are going away for a couple of nights. On my due date. Which is in 2 days time.

This leaves me 2 days to find someone to come get the dog IF I go into labour. Considering we live on an island this is not really possible.

I'm so fucking angry. It's the ONE thing we've asked for help with during the entire pregnancy.

If they think they're coming round here the second the baby is born and mauling him they can fuck right off. I'm SO trying to bite my tongue and not tell dh bad bad things.

Rhibeetee Tue 05-Nov-13 21:01:56

Jools Holland is a prick.

That's all I have to say today.

Mitchell2 Tue 05-Nov-13 21:36:45

Ladies after a fucking day from hell, with immature lying twats from work who I desperately want to smack around the head with a chair this thread has made my day. Thank you.

I've been having period pains for TWELVE FUCKING DAYS and dilating since BASTARDING SUNDAY FUCKING NIGHT and still am no nearer to giving birth.

This baby will be my last, I know that. But he's also shaping up to be the latest and most tricksy hmm

And DH hasn't emptied the dishwasher angry RAGE

MrsRV Tue 05-Nov-13 22:27:02

I really really love this thread. I went onto a thread last night about mat pay or something & it was a fairly non offensive general post. The OP said something about worrying about surviving on mat pay & going back to work at 6 months and feeling bad about leaving such a small baby in childcare. Fair enough huh??? Some absolute dickheads commented on similar terms as follows:-

"Did you not think about your finances before you got knocked up?"

"You should really be saving now while you can"

"Please don't make comments about 6 month old babies being "left" this may cause offence as lots of women have to return to work before even 6 months to feed their babies. I am not regretful or insecure about the decisions I've made but some people may be".

ABSOLUTE FUCKWITS. Made me so angry. Just FUCK off & get judgemental on someone you actually might know just a fucking smidgen about you bunch of DICKS.

(So nearly just wrote C**TS but thought I'd be removed from mumsnet grin)

Rhibeetee Tue 05-Nov-13 22:34:07

The C word had been used a couple of times on here.... It's preggo rage...in my eyes it's justified.

What a bunch of twatty cunts! ;)

BummyMummy77 Wed 06-Nov-13 02:24:27

Should have dropped the c bomb.

You should go on what to expect boards. Bunch of fucking morons on there.

Horry - me too. Unbelievable pain every night for a week. Nothing. No sodding baby. I can't sit, stand or lie down now.

I've had 17 texts/ emails today asking if he's been born or when?! When?! Fucking idiots! If I don't answer some of them get stroppy. Are they going to want updates during labour? Pricks.

I'm going to tell everyone tomorrow that I'm going off the radar for a few days and I'll let them know when he's born.

Oh, and I accidentally ordered a palate of crisp bread from fucking Amazon by mistake. I now have 2 cupboards full of the stuff and they won't take it back.

I'm never getting pregnant again.

navyeye Wed 06-Nov-13 02:30:02

In an almighty 41+4 weeks road rage incident I kicked over a set a temporary traffic lights and called a man a "complete and utter moron". blush

Rhibeetee Wed 06-Nov-13 05:25:40

A woman came up to me outside the school gates yesterday and said "well you're disappointing aren't you? Why haven't you had him yet?"

Erm, FUCK and OFF

Wanker

Meringue33 Wed 06-Nov-13 05:40:44

A friend and I went into a bookshop; they didn't have the book she was looking for so she yelled "What kind of bookshop are you anyway???!... Oh my god I'm so preggggnant..." And burst into tears.

froubylou Wed 06-Nov-13 06:39:48

I seriously contemplated running into someone's car door on sunday.

Stupid fuckers stood chatting with door open on car which meant I couldn't drive into the bay without running woman over and taking off door. I just leaned on the horn. Fuckers moved then.

Bastards at orange can't process my card payment this morning. I know there us money in that account as I have just checked it. Why can't they just do.

Bastards. Bastards. Bastards.

ladymalfoy Wed 06-Nov-13 07:01:47

Apparently I'm no longer sexually attractive as I'm a mum(almost) and having sex with me makes DH uncomfortable. I am however the perfect chauffeurs and will be ferrying everyone around at the weekend. I'm being unreasonable for getting upset about it as well.
I don't want to go to fucking work today.
Fuck.

MrsRV Wed 06-Nov-13 07:45:29

I wanted to shout at sonographer yesterday "just tell me its fucking sex you bitch, I know you know!!"- it was my 12 week scan - unreasonable???

A woman came up to me outside the school gates yesterday and said "well you're disappointing aren't you? Why haven't you had him yet?"

Yeah, that's why DH is doing the school run. FUUUUUUUCK OOOOOOOFF.

I've had 17 texts/ emails today asking if he's been born or when?! When?! Fucking idiots! If I don't answer some of them get stroppy. Are they going to want updates during labour? Pricks.

Again, FUUUUUUUCK OOOOOOFF.

And, in the spirit of the thread, and very uncharacteristic for me grin, THEY ARE ALL CUNTS.

Rhibeetee Wed 06-Nov-13 11:25:21

Well said Horry!!

BummyMummy77 Wed 06-Nov-13 11:46:31

Well said!

Poor dh has got a big bruise coming on his leg and isn't talking to me and I've really pulled or ripped one of my minge ligaments.

I dreamt he was looking at photos of his ex and I caught him and he told me he wished I was still skinny.

Of course I woke up and started kicking the shit out of him.

I need to do some emergency apology work now. May go make my own breakfast and look sad.

MrsPatMustard Wed 06-Nov-13 12:46:47

Had a complete hissy fit at DP last night because the dining room was untidy. He's been nothing short of saintlike during preganancy so I really was being a bitch.

Have been feeling suitably contrite all day and have bought him a apology cookie. The cookie itself is not a big gesture - however not eating myself when every atom in my body craves sugar is a big deal!

BummyMummy77 Wed 06-Nov-13 13:03:15

Haha, I bought dh some chocolates he liked as a 'sorry' a while back but they didn't make it until he got home from work.

MontyP Wed 06-Nov-13 19:44:31

Thanks for these. Have read them out to DH so he knows what to expect and that so far he has been let off lightly smile

junebaby2014 Wed 06-Nov-13 20:38:27

Reading all your comments has made me giggle and cheered me up.

I've been in a foul mood since friday barely spoke 2 words to my bf, hes fallen out with me because iv made him feel like a dick?? A dick..... Well maybe if he asked how i was feeling now and again instead of going out drinking all the f'ing time i'd be happy???

Oh and everything is always my fault? Really, u knocked me up, i'm carrying your child for 9 months, give me a fucking break!

Rant over smilesmilesmilesmilesmile

froubylou Wed 06-Nov-13 20:56:07

THEY ARE ALL BASTARDS IN THIS BASTARDING HOUSE AND CAN ALL FUCK RIGHT OFF.

They can do their own cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing from now on.

Bastards.

Rhibeetee Thu 07-Nov-13 20:38:51

7 hours of contractions, 7 HOURS!!..gradually got down to 7 mins apart and 50 seconds long. Then guess what! They stopped!!

I'm so annoyed, I'm having DHs last can of lager and he can suck a chobber if he's got a problem with it!

BummyMummy77 Thu 07-Nov-13 22:04:22

Bollocks to contractions stopping. That's unfair.

Suck a chubbier? Are you Australian? Ha, I'm going to steal dh's last beer while he's out.

I asked dh to make sure he de-ticked the cats today. Did he? I've just pulled (and I'm being completely honest) 57 ticks of varying sizes (some huge like black olives) off the poor little buggers. And found three crawling on me. Because lymes disease is something I really need right now.

Rhibeetee Fri 08-Nov-13 01:43:28

Ha, no, definitely not Australian...just nice and English.
Yes, it all sucks!
And every bastards else in this town seems to be having their baby early. They can also eat a dick.

Ewwww ticks! They make me shudder...big fat horrible little bastards! You're brave!
Save empty beer bottle to strike naughty DHs tick picking head with when he gets back. If he did attempt to pick the ticks, he certainly did a piss poor job and maybe this will knock some sense into him and he'll realise.

I headbutted DHs face before...sort of by accident, sort of because his mutant son is still in my body and won't get out AND because his stupid lager gave me hourendous heartburn.
Twat!

BummyMummy77 Fri 08-Nov-13 02:06:50

I hear you. I'm very rageful this boy is still in here. If I end up having to go into hospital and have tens of thousands worth of medical stuff done because he likes chilling out and being late just like Daddy then I'm going to have to get a punch bag.

He didn't actually do any ticks and I was about to go batshit on him when he popped up with an early push present. He bought me a diamond and ruby ring I saw months ago and said I'd liked. Calculating bastard. I now have to be nice to him for at least 2 weeks.

He actually said that. If I do another Kathy Bates on him he's going to confiscate it.

I can't believe he thinks he can bribe and threaten me like a child. And that it totally works.

Maybe I can hold his ipad ransom or something.

The heartburn really steps up a gear now right? I had a glass that I was burping bubbly acid into all evening on the coffee table.

I'd defiantly head butt dh if he came within a foot of me with his breath. Let alone lager breath.

livingzuid Fri 08-Nov-13 08:00:23

Thank you ladies for this thread. It made me chuckle! Although my rage has not quite set in my normal impatience is in overdrive. When I actually have a window of feeling normal in amongst the sickness. The one thing that drives me nuts is invasion of personal space. DH who I adore and really has been a star has not been allowed near me for the last six weeks. I can't bear it. And oh in the morning when he rolls over and breathes in my face makes me want to puke in it there and then for being so inconsiderate whilst he sleeps. And he smells funny. And he wants to rub my belly lightly to say hi to the baby erm hell no. I have punched him quite hard before for trying to do so. And pushed him out of the bed in the middle of the night for daring to hug me. Poor man. And I'm only ten and a half weeks.

livingzuid Fri 08-Nov-13 08:02:36

And he complains when I cuddle the dog. Which is the only thing allowed near me. I explain the dog is a replacement hot water bottle which I can't stand the feel of. And my dog growls at him if he gets too near. So it's another deterrent. DH feels quite ganged up on.

froubylou Fri 08-Nov-13 13:06:13

My DP woke me up the other night to ask if the baby was hiccuping. It was 4am. Bastard.

Jermain whatshisface on loose women really irritating me immensely. I want to smash his face in. His laugh/snigger/nervous twitch irrates me beyond what is normal.

And I had to phone orange this morning. Again. To complain. Again. The conversation nearly reduced me to tears of rage and now I darent leave the house because I don't trust myself.

And yesterday a white van parked over the lines at tescos car park so I had to climb in through the passengers side. I'm 34 weeks pregnant. They should not do that to me. Bastards.

Oh yy to being touched out.

Look, someone is headbutting me in the cervix about 12 hours a day, and squirming all over my belly the other 12 hours. Keep. Your. Hands. To. Yourselves.

froubylou Fri 08-Nov-13 19:38:16

You still upduffed horry?

I'd be raging if I were you too. Sending you extra strong pushing vibes for a nice weekend birth!

I shouted at a woman earlier for parking in the parent and child bays. Without a child. When I had to waddle from about a mile away as I didn't have a dc young enough to justify parking in one. Her excuse was that her very new, very big shiny 4 x 4 doesn't fit in a normal bay without the risk of it being scratched.

DP dragged me away before I could respond. Bastards.

prettyinpink90 Fri 08-Nov-13 23:46:46

DP is keeping me awake AGAIN with his bloody loud breathing!!!

BummyMummy77 Sat 09-Nov-13 08:52:47

Awake by 3am with stomach pain AGAIN. By the time I'm fully awake it goes. This baby is taking the piss.

Dh's breath STINKS. It's like he's been eating cat shit or something. I just want to h

BummyMummy77 Sat 09-Nov-13 08:54:00

Oops - just want to hold the pillow over his face for a short while. Just enough to scare him into using mouthwash.

moobaloo Sat 09-Nov-13 10:35:48

LOVE this thread!

I was actually quite calm in the face of this happening last night, but I felt ragey inside! If it had been two weeks earlier when I was in full early pregnancy nausea and knackeredness I would have walked out, but luckily I had snacked beforehand just in case... I will reveal...

Went to DPs mum and dads house for dinner last night with DPs sister and her partner. Lovely lovely. (None of these people know I'm pregnant!) Arrived on time at 7.30 after MIL insisted we be on time. OK. Sat and ate the nibbles provided in the living room and chatted until food was ready. QUARTER PAST NINE. WTF? and it was slightly cold, and not even very nice. and a stupid meal as 2 of the people at the meal have dietary needs which weren't met in the main meal so she made separate dishes for each of them. What's the point? We would all have liked something simple, on time, and filling so we could just eat and chat, rather than waiting until we're starving, wolfing food down and then running away because it was late.

She apologised saying it took longer to cook than she thought it would. YOU THINK???

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

morgs22 Sat 09-Nov-13 12:21:28

I want to kill my partners parents and him because of them! angry its a long story but im so pissed off I need to have a rant about it
So, when we 1st found out I was pregnant I told him not to tell his parents until we had got over the shock, would he wait? no of course not. I hadn't met his parents because they are super traditional and for them you don't bring the girl home unless your about to propose (I want to wait a couple more years for that). They demanded they meet me and arranged a time and place that was convenient for them. So went and met them and sat there for almost an hour as they ranted at us telling me to get an abortion, I haven't done anything with my life and generally just verbally attacking me (wankers!). Now that they have 'got over the shock' code for realised they're gonna have a grandkid they aren't gonna know, they want me to go round and spend time with them so they can see my child. Umm how about fuck off!!! you wanted it dead so to you it will be and DP needs to stop going on about how they feel and shit who cares!!
Ugh!!!!! rant over now to spend the day sleeping and eating grin

livingzuid Sat 09-Nov-13 20:04:07

Last night I could have reached across the sofa and thrown his bowl and spoon out of the window
He was clunking the spoon extra hard against the bow JUST TO PISS ME OFF. There was hardly any rice left! Obviously. Oh dear lord it was so annoying!

MrsRV Sat 09-Nov-13 20:48:10

My dad bought me my fave cheese for my birthday last week - saint agur. usually I'd be polite. I just about stopped myself from throwing it at hus fucking pin head.

BummyMummy77 Sun 10-Nov-13 10:33:17

Wow Morgs that's not preggo rage, they sound like assholes!

I've confined myself to the house now. I turned a couple of friends away yesterday (they actually popped by unannounced to see if I was in labour, what the FUCK? I think this pretty rude) and am refusing to leave.

Dh got the rage yesterday. He came back from the store screaming his head off. No less than 17 people asked him if we'd had the baby yet, when was it coming and why didn't I get a move on? He now understands why I've holed myself up at home!

middleclassdystopia Sun 10-Nov-13 10:40:41

People popped in...unannounced...to see if you were in labour.

WTF [rage] on your behalf.

Do they value their life...

middleclassdystopia Sun 10-Nov-13 10:41:31

Oops no rage emoticon

angry doesn't cut it i'm afraid

BummyMummy77 Sun 10-Nov-13 12:26:28

It's one particular woman. She's done it THREE TIMES now.

My midwives will scare the crap out of her if she actually turns up when I am.

My front door opens into an open plan downstairs where the birthing pool will be. Any visitors will be shot!

middleclassdystopia Sun 10-Nov-13 13:22:01

You never just 'pop in' at that stage in case the woman actually is in labour.

It's not rocket science is it hmm

BummyMummy77 Sun 10-Nov-13 14:00:39

When she told me "oh I was really hoping I could meet your midwife" (she wants to use her for her next birth) I was too shocked to say "maybe schedule a fucking appointment with her then?!"

BummyMummy77 Sun 10-Nov-13 14:15:57

Right. Sorry to completely take over this thread but I actually want to kill my mil.

She just rang dh to tell him we're expected at dinner this evening.

Dh told her it's unlikely as I'm really finding it hard to move anywhere (let alone go sit at a dinner table for two hours eating shit that they've been told countless times I can't eat because of my reflux - raw fucking onions and raw garlic - REALLY?! and the fact that I don't have one piece of clothing that I can wear now).

She turns around and says I'm not coping very well. FUCK YOU!!!

She then says she's coming round to convince me to come. Why can't people leave me ALONE. I'm overdue and in agony and wish everyone would go and boil themselves.

WhisperMen Sun 10-Nov-13 14:17:34

<offers bummy a stressball>

itsonlyapapermoon Sun 10-Nov-13 14:18:36

Ugh. It's 1am and I'm up cos my stupid legs won't stop jumping (despite slathering on magnesium oil which is supposed to help), DH is snoring, it's too frigging hot in bed, stretchmarks are itching like a motherfucker and heartburn is pissing me off so I've been up drinking milk too. Just want to get comfortable and go to sleeeeep. And baby has only just stopped kicking the fuck out of me which is good cos it bloodywell hurts!!!

BummyMummy77 Sun 10-Nov-13 15:06:11

1am? Where are you paper moon?

My little monster is on the turn again. At 40 +4!! Knowing my luck he's going transverse, posterior up my bum or something.

itsonlyapapermoon Sun 10-Nov-13 15:16:16

BummyMummy, I'm in Ozsmile hope your little one turns round the right way!

Tiptop32 Sun 10-Nov-13 18:11:30

Arghhhh I am soooo mad!!!! Yesterday I worked 9-7 and had to change at work and take ds to an awards dinner and got home at 11.30pm absolutely knackered. Was back at work at 7am til 5pm and went straight to my mums to collect ds as dp had promised him tea out tonight. Told dp it can't be a late one as its a school night - and what do I find when I finally get home? Him sitting watching a bloody bike race which he recorded - refuses to even look at me until it finishes ( which is in about 20 mins).... So we have to wait for him now. I have nowt in for dinner except beans and no bread so I either have to go out and shop or go for dinner. Oh and did I mention when I went to pick up ds it turned out he left all his homework at school and got a big telling off for it? Only didn't cancel dinner out there and then cos I would have had dp moaning at me...

Thank god for day off tomorrow and time to catch up on sleep and washing/cleaning

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Sun 10-Nov-13 18:54:13

Dh has just had a go at me for 'letting' ds make a mess (he trod in the cat's water dish and spread a small amount of water on the (tiled) floor). The water would have dried within 15 minutes, but he had to make a big show (sighing as he went) of mopping it up.

I wasn't LETTING him, I can barely fucking walk! Frankly, if ds is entertained and not doing anything likely to result in death, I'm happy to leave him to it. If you want to make extra work for yourself, go right ahead, but leave me the fuck out of it!

Tiptop32 Sun 10-Nov-13 19:41:48

On the run - seems like our dp's aren't doing themselves any favours tonight! I ended up walking out the house and taking ds for dinner just the two of us. Just got back and taken the money it cost out of dp's cash stash. Feel better now!

Emberlina76 Sun 10-Nov-13 20:32:04

I was starting to feel better but this weekend I could have actually done DH in and buried him under the patio without breaking a sweat. I swear, he goes out of his way to piss me off. He knows I'm hormonal, I've sat and explained it to him and now it's like every little thing he makes a point of making a point if it (I know that makes not grammatical sense at all) - it's just to highlight that I'm hormonal I'm sure and make him look like he's a victim. Fuuuucccckkkkkkkk offffffffff! I'm desperately trying to be calmer but he is just driving me mental!

froubylou Sun 10-Nov-13 21:18:39

My DP is breathing on my side of the bed again.

It's Sunday so he has been in it since about 6.30pm as he likes an early night on Sunday.

In about 10 minutes I will need another wee and when I get back in it will wake him up. He will then turn over and ask if alarm is set. Then tell me it is too hot in here. Then ask me to feel his head which will be clammy and sweaty. I will refuse and tell him he is hot as he has had the quilt over his head.

We have had the same conversation for the last 2 years. Every Sunday. As reliable as songs of praise.

Tonight it just might push me over the edge.

gemmal88 Sun 10-Nov-13 23:20:35

Have been lurking on this thread but have some steam to let off, so here goes!

Have a lovely friend who I know is not trying to piss me off or anything but keeps touching my stomach and saying how big I'm getting now. I'm FOURTEEN FUCKING WEEKS! My tummy is podgy because I'm bloated there isn't a bump in sight!

Seriously it's bad enough people touching you when there's obviously a baby in there but who the fuck just rubs women's stomachs when there is nothing there yet!!?? Several people around here it would seem!

Grrrrr.....

Emilycee Mon 11-Nov-13 08:18:42

DM/MIL/women of this general age - 'How are you?' me: 'Fine thank you, just wish time would hurry along so I can meet this baby' Them 'oooooooh just you wait! with eye rolling and a 'knowing' look - like I don't know whats going to hit me..
FUCK YOU!! Im 3fucking4, ffs I think I know what to expect!! I am a grown woman ffs!!!! Aaaaaargh! FUCK YOU!!!

....that feels better grin

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Mon 11-Nov-13 12:30:42

Emily, those kind of comments drove me absolutely insane when I was pregnant with ds. Now I get "you think one is hard work? Just you wait!" I think it's the glee in their voices that makes me homicidal.

Just for the record, I found looking after a newborn far easier than being pregnant, and I got a lot more sleep (and ds is definitely not much of a sleeper).

Emilycee Mon 11-Nov-13 13:47:59

Thanks ontherun. I know its going to be a HUGE change to our lives and is our first so lots of learning curves but still, the way they go on make me feel like a naughty pregnant school girl!

BummyMummy77 Mon 11-Nov-13 14:50:27

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Mil has just rung to say maybe I should go and get a c section if I can't cope with being pregnant. They were her exact words.

I know I have raging hormones but I'm really starting to dislike the woman.

Emilycee Mon 11-Nov-13 16:11:30

Maybe she should go and get her mouth sewn up! fucking MILs!

Rhibeetee Mon 11-Nov-13 16:36:37

Ahhh bummy! What is it with mils?!
You've read how much I think of mine!!

Also, while we're raging...I had my 3rd sweep today...still high and closed. Great.
Booked in for 3rd induction on Saturday. Brilliant.
DHs birthday is on Saturday...he doesn't want to share it. Prick.

And as if all that wasn't bad enough, there are 4 of us locally, that know each other, that were all due within a couple of weeks of each other. My due date was 2nd in line.
2 have had their babies and the other is 1-2cms dilated AND had her bloody show today.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for them all....but why the fuck am I being tortured and having to be last AGAIN?!

This happens every time I'm pregnant. Fuck off cervix!

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Mon 11-Nov-13 16:49:03

I am starting to dislike her on your behalf Bummy.

Speaking of which, my PILs are coming to stay at the end of the month for a week. A week! If I haven't committed violence by the end of it it will be a miracle.

ladymalfoy Wed 13-Nov-13 17:54:25

Signed off at the moment and MW says I should be signed off until my employers can kick start Mat leave. Fucked off because work have let me down by being more concerned about keeping my cover sweet than dealing with the fact that she's a trouble making, lying poop head.

BummyMummy77 Wed 13-Nov-13 18:08:43

Rhib - LOL @ dh not wanting to share birthday!! Is he 5 years old lol?!

On the Run - a week? Fuck that. I'd be a wreck.

Malfoy, that's shitty, is said poophead after your job?

At 41 weeks today it's pretty difficult to actually get my lovely rage anymore but I managed this morning.

I bought a Moby wrap from Amazon. The fact that it took a month to come annoyed me and when I saw it was from China and a fake, well, I found my rage again.

What has pissed me off more than anything is me contacting the seller to tell them it's a fake (which obviously they know) and I want my money back they've told me they'll only give me my money back if I take down my feedback on them saying they're selling fakes. And that Amazon seem pretty unconcerned about the fact that someone is selling fake baby products through them. They've offered me a gift card for the amount and asked me to throw the wrap away.

Nobody is getting my fucking point (and the point Moby made when I spoke to them and confirmed it's totally bogus) that they are selling untested baby slings that could have been exposed to God knows what chemicals, the stitching could be unsafe etc etc! It's not a sodding cd or pair of fake Jimmy Choos, I'll be carrying my precious newborn around in it with no clothes on (sometimes) and his face right up against this stuff. Fine, give me back my $40 and take it no further, let loads of other people buy it. In fact, this whole 9 months I've watched what I've eaten and all the nice, pricey organic mattress and sheets etc I bought may as well just chuck out and start smoking some crack.

Where's the bloody liability?!

I'm going to report the seller and amazon to a consumer safety board. When I find out exactly who and what they are and find some more rage to do it.

ladymalfoy Wed 13-Nov-13 18:47:27

Bummy. Sorry but lol at you smoking crack whilst wearing your knock off sling!
It is shit that folks really don't give a stuff about safety and baby stuff. It's like a Simpsons episode. The doll with the sharp spike inside?
Or other people will buy you really dodgy stuff for the baby then look at you funny because you sniffed a glass of wine.

BummyMummy77 Wed 13-Nov-13 23:35:27

Malfoy - right?!

The amount of shit I've got for having the occasional wine or being so irresponsible and selfish as to have a home birth and being 41 weeks and they're buying me polyester fucking bumpers for the cot and telling me I'm being weird not taking him to a party with 60+ people in the height of flu season.

I'm moving to a desert island ON MY OWN.

froubylou Thu 14-Nov-13 02:41:40

I have the rage again too.

DP done his ankle at work on Monday. It's a mess granted.

But I am 35 weeks pregnant and can't find much sympathy for anyone who dares to hog my sofa when I need it. Then shout and ask me what I am doing every 3 minutes when I am trying to nest. And he makes my living room look untidy and lived in when I want it pristine looking. And I am jealous of all the lovely drugs he has. I would love a couple of tramadol and a good night's sleep.

And my hips ache.

BummyMummy77 Thu 14-Nov-13 07:41:29

Tramadol. Mmmmm lovely tramadol. Hide it.

My friend has just given birth last week. A month ago her dh went white water rafting and smashed up his leg and hip. He's in chair for 3 months. In a 2nd floor flat. And didn't have insurance so now they have a medical bill of $40,000.

She's happy he's still alive and running arounf after him.

My dh would probably not BE alive if he did anything as arsewankingly stupid as that.

froubylou Thu 14-Nov-13 08:01:46

Neither would mine bunny.

The fucker wanted to know whether we had bacon and eggs in for breakfast this morning. WTF? it's Thursday. Breakfast is whatever you can find.

Told him I'd do him a continental breakfast if he clears top of wardrobe later.

He wasn't expecting a cup of coffee and a couple of aldi brioche breads chucking at him.

Now he is in the bath the knobber. DD trying to get ready for school and I will need 3 wees before the school run. If he has locked the door I will kick it in.

He better be back at work tomorrow. Have 5 weeks to edd tomorrow and got things to do and he severly gets in my way.

itsonlyapapermoon Thu 14-Nov-13 08:53:39

I've got the rage with stupid arrogant middle-aged women drivers in this town. Honestly, why can't they buy a car that they can actually drive? Oh no, they buy fucking shit-mobiles that they can't see over the steering wheel, and have to do million-point turns to manoeuvre the fucking things. And then give me an arsey look because I have the audacity to be waiting in the road along with the other cars banking up while they attempt to drive. Honestly bitches, learn how to navigate the fucking carpark, or catch the bus. I may have shouted, "Learn how to fucking drive, wankface!" out the window...

MrsPatMustard Thu 14-Nov-13 12:24:00

If one more person says to me' gosh, you're going to have a big baby, aren't you?' or 'blimey, you're very big for 6 months along' I swear I'm going to go mad with an axe. Has it occured to none of these people that i have to actually give birth to this supposed monster and i'm shitting myself about it??? Torn between rage and wanting to sob.

BummyMummy77 Thu 14-Nov-13 14:01:37

If dh asked what we had in for breakfast.... well, he just wouldn't.

Papermoon - that wound me up WAY before pregnancy. I used to do school runs in Hampstead and Chelsea and the only word I can use to describe those monstrous women with their monstrous trucks is cunts. Hampstead was the worst as the roads are so small so they'd get stuck. The amount of times I had to get out of my car, help them through gaps that you could have gotten a herd of cows through I've forgotten. And you have to smile sweetly.

Mustard - that's so horrible. I asked people to stop saying it. They would actually say "whooo that's a 10 pounder, probably a c section".

I have rage. Awake AGAIN at 2am with stomach cramping. I'm feeling rage at my stupid body, spiteful uterus and stubborn baby.

Hi, have been reading along empathising with the rage!

My front door handle has been needing fixed forever, reported it to my shitty landlord at the flat inspection about 14 months ago, kept getting the run around by their waste of space of a repair guy. Started on at them again to come out and fix it since I'm on maternity leave, waited in all day Tuesday for no one to show up, dickhead called yesterday to rearrange so told him I would be in all day until 2, guess who's been sitting in again all day for nothing angry

itsonlyapapermoon Thu 14-Nov-13 20:45:16

Mustard, I've been getting that too! ""Ooh, how long now?"
"7 weeks"
"Wow! You're big, aren't you?"

No. No I'm fucking not. This is my 4th baby and all things considered, I think I'm quite neat. I'm only 5'4, sz 12 and am all baby, and even then my bump isn't that huge. So fuck off.

Also...stretch marks. AAARRGGHH. I hardly got any with the other 3 but my god my stomach is itching like a mofo, regardless of what I put on it. Especially at night. Think I should start wearing mittens to bed.confused

BummyMummy77 Sun 17-Nov-13 23:44:58

DH has been in full 'prick' mode tonight.

My back hurts so much I've been sobbing all day, I asked him to give it a rub for a while and he sits on his iPad not even looking, jabbing way too hard and making it worse.

Then tonight I'm trying to talk to him about how I don't know if I can hold out much longer, I'm in constant agony with my back now and nearly 2 weeks over and am really considering scraping the whole home birth thing and getting induced. I'm terrified the back pain is going to make the labour unbearable as I'm getting no pain relief. I was trying to have a dialogue about making a decision to change all of our plans.

He just sits there grunting on his iPad, looking at boats.

What the fuck? I've carried this child for over 9 months now, been as sick as a dog for 4 of it, put up with his unbearable family and now I really need someone to talk to and some support as I'm reaching the end of my tether he can't even pretend to be interested for 5 fucking minutes?!

I flipped out and started screaming so much my throat is now sore, I pointed out that all of this no drug, no hospital crap was by no means for ME. If it weren't for me trying to make decisions based on baby's health and our finances I'd be in hospital by now, up to my fucking eyeballs in whatever lovely drugs I could get my hands on and the least he could do was pretend he appreciate my efforts and not be such a uninterested cunt.

I'm so mad I really hope I don't go into labour tonight as I can't bear to have the shithead anywhere near me.

I don't expect men to have a first clue of what we're going through or to care as much but at least the useless cunts could pretend.

BummyMummy77 Mon 18-Nov-13 00:37:03

He just made me a bacon sandwich. I'm still angry though.

dobedobedo Mon 18-Nov-13 06:58:41

I woken up with the rage today. angry
About 8 months ago I booked tickets for dh and I to see one of our favourite comedians. We've been looking forward to it so much. On Saturday, ds's drama club told us the "end of year performance" is the following Friday. When we're supposed to go see the comedian. Bunch of short notice bastards. Ds is the main character and it's the first time he's had such a big part and I couldn't live with myself if I missed it. I can't get tickets to another comedy show as the other venues are too far away so I've reluctantly said dh can go and take his dad.

So dh is going and taking his dad! The bastard! I bought the tickets, I kept them a surprise for months, and now I can't go and he is?! I'm raging.
Yes I know that I'm choosing not to go and I wouldn't let ds down (he's only 8), but if I'm fucking missing out then dh should fucking miss out too. Or at least not act so excited about going.
I'm being very unreasonable and I don't care. Fuck all of them.

Emilycee Mon 18-Nov-13 10:09:57

I wish my lazy dirty fucking dh would use the fucking bog brush after he goes for his morning shit! Dirty fucker angry grrrrrrrrrr! why do they turn into pigs when they think they've 'got you'?!

livingzuid Mon 18-Nov-13 11:37:53

DH did not put my orange capri-sun in the freezer. It is the ONE THING that takes my nausea and need to vomit away, even with my lovely tablets from the Dr. Selfish sod couldn't be bothered to bend down and put them in the freezer I don't care if he's been doing all the house work for the last two months. If I puke in the car on the way to work then he only has himself to blame and can clear it up as penance.

Btw bummymummy I really hope your baby arrives soon that sounds miserable for you

qazxc Mon 18-Nov-13 11:53:22

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Why do people that stink always invade my personal space at work! I mean really minging, not washing, stale fag, manky greasy smell generally with booze attached, and i can't tell them to fuck off away from me because they are customers. GGGGRRRRRR!!!!
Also would my male colleague stop whinging i've given him a bug, i haven't , it's morning sickness you tit!

froubylou Mon 18-Nov-13 11:55:52

Bummymummy go for the drugs. All of them. As many as you can get your hands on. You deserve it soooooo much.

My useless DP had 3 days off work last week. His foot was bad I admit. Sort of purple from the toes to mid shin. And quite badly swollen. But you don't use your foot to clean the windows do you?

Apparantly I am unreasonable as I asked him to do the inside of the windows that I can't reach as he had a bad foot.

And I am an unsympathetic cow because I refused to wait on him hand and foot.

And the bastard moaned all way around the retail park I went to on thursday. I told him to stay at home and rest his foot (I just wanted a couple of hours away from him) but no, he fancied a walk and needed to test his foot before going back to work on friday.

Really wanted to kick the bad leg from under him in TK Maxx at one point.

Hoppy bastard.

And now I want to remove my own hips and lower back.

They ache constantly.

I have too much to do for aching backs and hips. Faaarrrr too much to get organised.

And I have the midwife later who will cheerfully tell me baby is head down. He fucking isn't. Scan proved that last week. He's been transverse all weekend. And is now feet down kicking my fanny quite happily.

But what do I know? I'm only the one who's internal organs he bounces off everytime he does a back flip. And who's feeling the kicks and the hiccups and the pokes and the shoves.

But obviously some bint with a uniform and upside down watch feeling my tummy (and fucking hurting me) for about 30 seconds knows best.

Nobbers.

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe Mon 18-Nov-13 15:48:43

I teach at a poncey Russell Group university. We are known for having a higher than average proportion of students who were previously educated in the independent sector.

I have just wasted spent my entire morning delivering tutorials to a bunch of over-privileged, over-entitled, smug, fully-signed-up-members-of-the-flicky-hair-brigade tossers students. I hate them all.

I suspect the reasons I hate them may go beyond their lives of comfort and privilege (although that is a resentment that runs deep - I supported myself and my family through my BA, MA and PhD). I suspect I hate them because they are a) young and b) (probably) not pregnant.

They can all fuck off.

(Some of them are quite nice actually)

BummyMummy77 Mon 18-Nov-13 18:39:52

Oh Frouby that actually made me chuckle.

I feel SO awful. I had the rage at baby last night. For about 2 hours he was trying to turn (REALLY?! there's not even room for stomach acid in there anymore and every time you hiccup it's like my whole body takes on a life of it's own) and you could see his limbs in perfect definition. It hurt so much I thought I was going to die, I've got a horrid feeling he's just in there piling on the pounds.

I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom and he must have started kicking me in the bowel as I just shit myself. In the bed. With a very horrified dh watching.

I lay there cursing everything under the sun but mostly ds for about two hours.

Good revenge for dh being insensitive earlier. Cleaning up your pregnant wife's shit off of her and the bed whilst she lies there screaming about how she's changed her mind about the whole thing and wants to sell all the baby crap and buy a pair of Louboutins, a nice dress and go clubbing with her old mates and take a shit load of fun drugs, drink absinth and pull some young guys that look like the guy from Sons of Anarchy.

It was maybe all a bit specific and I'm hope never tells baby or uses it against me.

My main vocabulary of today has been "fuck off" or "I don't fucking care anymore".

TeaAndANatter Mon 18-Nov-13 19:57:31

One more person walks up to me and asks if I'm pregnant, then asks if it was planned, and I'm going to give up saying one of my ten best smarmy responses, and just go straight to 'Fuck You'.

nousernamesleft Tue 19-Nov-13 02:58:47

I'm so glad I've found this. I have the Rage.
This morning, some twat couldn't drive his piece of shit car out of his parking space in the hospital car park.
He got it halfway out and then got stuck, and spent 10 minutes moving backwards and forwards in a straight line, getting nowhere. I couldn't get my car out until he'd moved.
Eventually (much to the delight of his poor wife in the passenger seat), I physically hauled him by the collar out of his car, climbed in, and had it removed from the parking space and ready for him to drive away in less than 30 seconds. My parting shot was "Do you want me to drive the fucker home for you as well?". Cleverly, he just looked embarrassed and didn't say a word, or I think I may well have killed him. Arsehole.

Am having Braxton Hicks contractions all the time, and they are bloody sore. Bent over the table the other day, in quite a bit of pain, and my OH came over, rubbed my back, and told me to "remember to breathe through the pain". He wasn't so clever when I punched him in the stomach. Was actually aiming for the balls but missed.

dobedobedo Tue 19-Nov-13 13:07:53

nousernamesleft you are my hero!

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Tue 19-Nov-13 13:41:29

Dh has no taste buds. None. Not a single one. He douses everything in various types of chilli sauce because otherwise it has "no flavour". He just made me a bowl of noodles for lunch and now I am dying of heartburn. I may be the first person ever to suffer from a fatal case of reflux, but I am definitely dying.

He just carried on munching his volcanic noodles. Bastard.

BummyMummy77 Tue 19-Nov-13 17:54:54

Hmm, that could actually be me ontherun. I put SO much hot sauce in everything dh hates it. I also put loads of salt in everything as I have stupidly low blood pressure and it's the only thing that keeps me from passing out.

Poor you, even I'm avoiding the hot sauce with this acid though.

I'm going to kill dh when he comes home. I mean, actually 100% rip him a new one.

I've just woken from a nap and know he's out on the boat picking up the midwife yet I hear someone in the house. Smashing stuff. I try to call him, no answer, so in a very uncharacteristic show of aggression (motherly protection must have kicked in) I contort myself and pull one of my ligaments trying to get gunny out from under the bed. (Please don't judge, I used to have a lovely gunny which I sold the second I found out I was pregnant as it felt wrong, this is an old family heirloom which isn't very gangsterish).

I sit on the bed for a minute or so trying to decide if I have the balls to stet waving gunny around, at this point I can hear someone coughing and more smashing noises. May I point out that I've just watched 2 series of sons of anarchy back to back and my imagination was running riot. Although actually, it didn't NEED to run riot as there is someone in my house smashing stuff!

I decide I don't and remember 911, I'm literally just dialling when that utter prick I married texts me to tell me he bumped into an electrician at the store and asked him to come run some more plug sockets through the house.

I actually can't believe he'd do this. Of all the stupid things you can do, to let someone walk around your house to wake up your pregnant, sleeping wife without telling her has to be up there with the most stupid.

Thank Christ I didn't jump out on the poor guy wielding a gun, sobbing my head off in my very short nightie which shows my arse. I've offered him a cup of tea and banana cake and told him about his narrow escape to which he said "my wife would shoot me if I did something like that!"

froubylou Tue 19-Nov-13 19:17:54

Bummy can you hurry up and have your baby now please. I am worried about you. Do they do elcs where you are? Can you be induced or something cos I honestly fear for your safety.

I had an incident in supermarket and ended up I insulting a pensioner. Fucker clacked his false teeth at me for pulling him up on being rude to me so I hissed at him and swore at him in greek. I think I swore at him in greek. Don't speak it so no idea but a friend of mine had a greek bf once and it sounded familiar.

smilesallround247 Tue 19-Nov-13 19:24:20

I love this thread! my partner thinks its ok to leave his slippers outside the bedroom door. just in the right place for me to trip on them during a midnight pee run. then he gets angry when I throw these slippers across the room! !!! plus I want to punch him in the throat when he snores. grrrrrr!!

BummyMummy77 Tue 19-Nov-13 20:10:08

What was the incident Frouby? You conveniently glossed over what actually happened LOL!

I just saw the midwife. She'll let me go until next Monday then she'll do a sweep and if that doesn't work try castor oil. She thinks I'm about to drop though.

The fucking electrician walked into the room when she was measuring me. Dh told him that we needed the bedroom light fixing. I want a new dh. Mine is clearly a moron.

froubylou Wed 20-Nov-13 09:41:58

Was a minor but fucking annoying incident bm.

Was in aldi at checkout in queue. End of conveyor belt. Belt full of other people's shopping. Decided I deserved a naice bunch of flowers. Went about 10 paces to pick up a bunch. By the time (maybe 20 seconds) I got back to my trolley which I had left in the queue the old git who was originally behind the woman who was behind me had started unloading his very very fulm trolley onto the 2 inches of space that he had made by scooting someone else's shopping down.

I wasn't going to say anything until he pushed my trolley back into my bump so he could get his trolley parallel to the belt.

I pushed it back and the fucker tutted at me. Actually fucking tutted. Bastard.

So I told him he had pushed in, was rude and if he pushed my trolley into my bump one more time I wouldn't be responsible for my actions. That's when he clacked his false teeth at me. Bastard old gimmer.

Hope you pop soon. You poor bastard. I'm 36 weeks on Friday. Probably having a elcs at 39 weeks and I can't wait to not be pregnant.

Bastard DP taken to humming 'like a rubber ball' and thinks its funny. Slapped his baldy patch quite hard this morning though so he might stop that little gem. And I had to bite him again this morning for space invading in bed.

Emilycee Wed 20-Nov-13 10:04:39

grin Frouby!

Smiles - just piss in his slippers next time he does it, that will soon make him think about his actions grin

WhisperMen Wed 20-Nov-13 11:10:21

I would have unleashed hell on that man frouby Who the fuck tuts?

I had a spectacular rage at DP last night. The fucker rips foil off the roll wrong. The box is designed with a serrated edge for christs sake. How hard is it to pull how much you want then rip it using the special edge so the foil stays neat. DP apparently is incapable of this simple task. He takes the foil out of the box and then just rips it willynilly so the edge of the foil is all wonky. Then never puts it back in the fucking box. Just leaves it on the side. He got the foil and two plates thrown at his head last night because this was the 3rd time I had told him to use the foil properly and he didn't.

Today he is being unreasonable by breathing too loud and jiggling his leg constantly and crunching his toast. I'm not allowed to rage at him though because his uncle died in the night and he is upset. It feels much better to rant on here though whilst hiding in the bathroom.

dobedobedo Wed 20-Nov-13 15:10:59

I'm fucking fed fucking fucking cunting UP!!
Dh is using tickets that I bought almost a year ago to go and see our favourite comedian on Friday night and I can't go cos ds stupid drama teaching bastards have planned a performance for the same time and I have to bring him and watch it and fuck sake! And THEN on Saturday night he's going to Manchester which is a long fucking way away to watch some cunts boxing each other. What am I doing? Watching some poxy (sorry ds) drama performance and twiddling my swollen bloody thumbs ALONE having no fun ever because soon I'll have a baby and it's not fair. Bastards.

AngryByrd Wed 20-Nov-13 16:04:38

rage?

last night as i entered stage two of my current and un-ending labour; at the same time I realised one of my sisters had left the gas on the stove on. (On my way out the door).

1. Cue a wild rant about how she deserves to never have children. (She's looking after my son while I deliver).

2. I get to the hospital and get assigned a midwife that could not understand how to take blood pressure so I ripped off the cuff and demonstrated it on her. I made sure to squeeze the cuff extra hard.

3. This morning I get a stupid text from a frenemy gloating about her child (despite knowing my child has a disability and that I don't like to hear people comparing children)....so I asked her if her and her husband are continuing to sleep in separate beds.

4. Sent back 8 cups of tea until it was the right colour. Tea should NOT be grey. Ever.

Gemma103 Wed 20-Nov-13 16:10:16

This has made me laugh so much!!!! They don't tell you this sort of thing in "what to expect when you are expecting"!

I had a melt down when my BF bought us chips home for tea (took him hours, probably needed a break from me) and he dared to bring them home without gravy...I sent him back out with no success, he then tried to make bisto gravy instead...ABSOLUTE JOKE! The whole saga just tipped my over the edge....haven't cried and screamed like that since I was about 12!! Seriously who the fuck wants dry chips!

Also the next person who tells me to "just enjoy it" when referring to pregnancy will get some placenta thrown in their face post birth!

smilesallround247 Wed 20-Nov-13 16:14:46

angry byrd. I love it!!!

froubylou Wed 20-Nov-13 16:23:27

Ahhh Gemma glad it's not just me that has 'meltdowns'. DD aged 9 refers to my tantrums as meltdowns too. In fact she is so impressed by the response I tend to get from DP when I have one she has started having them as well.

When I asked her why she was having them she declared she was 'at a funny age and full of hormones' so as entitled as me to have a hormonal meltdown. We had 'the chat' in the holidays and she got a spot last week so convinced she is about to start her periods.

Fair play to her though if she can use her hormones from being 9 to get her Primarni budget doubled whilst shopping with DP for yoof club clothes!

Had the rage at school gates today. About a million kids all crowding round the dog trying to stroke her. Poor dog petrified of the snot nosed little bastards and climbing up my leg. Told them all to leave her alone. One smart arse asked if she would bite if they didn't. Told him she wouldn't but I would and growled and barred my teeth at them.

Odd childminder who had until that point been ignoring the 3 kids she was responsible for suddenly woke up and herded her income away from the mad pregnant woman. Imagine explaining to a parent that you had let one of their kids get bitten by another adult! PMSL. The thought of her doing it made me smile a bit derranged and made her go even faster.

The good news is that I have done all my housework for the week now though and all the ironing and even some paperwork. Rage is good when channeled and didn't even get much lip from DD when told to put her clothes away.

livingzuid Wed 20-Nov-13 16:36:54

Oh don't I was so measured at work today. We have problems with our database team who continually change the system with no consultation and don't tell us when it's changed. Proverbial last straw to see that an area custom designed for our team had been changed so it fit the global standard. After consulting with a regional database rep I emailed the manager who is nice and was nice back.

I then get a reply highlighting in green something nice colleague had done for me and some gibberish about why they couldn't change back my pages. To finish with that saying I need to 'channel my enquiries in one direction'.

I'll give you channeling you geeky patronising twat trying to make out I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about when the fault is all on your side. Stop wasting my fucking time. I have a fucking masters degree in records and information management! My DH would be delighted if you become my verbal punchbag, are you volunteering for the position?

I thought I was quite restrained in asking again for a meeting and clarification on the channeling. And got my meeting by the way haha. It is work after all and my rage can only be allowed to go so far. I went and bitched about it to nice colleague instead.

How do I make sure I contain this at work. I have no time in my life for idiots!

livingzuid Wed 20-Nov-13 16:41:16

frouby that has me laughing so much. I bet you have an impressive growl!

BlessedAssurance Wed 20-Nov-13 16:56:15

Rage,i am feeling it.A guy i work with,only know his first name,makes some comment about the bump,then follows it by rubbing my back in a patronising way.Before i have recovered from that he then goes to rub that forbidden place my precious bump. i do not know you!!!.Take your hands off my bump!!I lost it and then shouted at the top of my voice that i was going to buy a t-shirt with bolded *touch and you lose a hand!!!*I am tired of people commenting on how big i am. Every freaking day someone mentions how big i have become,Stop it all of you wankers, i was here with you yesterday, how big have i become in the last 12hrs. I am 22 weeks not 50. Leave me alone and i do not wish to discuss my baby names with any of you.Just for the record i am not relieved i am having a boy, i would have been relieved even if i was having another girl because my desire was not to have a boy and a girl, i just wanted two or more kids regardless of their sex.Bugger off!!! That felt good..

mummybecky91 Wed 20-Nov-13 18:37:57

Sometimes it's not even big occurrences that stem these great moments of rage but little things that just niggle at you no end.

E.g.

SNORING. Fucking snoring!!!! Granted I adore my boyfriend, wouldn't change him for the world and do miss him a great deal when he is working away. Usually I can tolerate his snoring and sleep through it but the other night I ended up shouting and fidgeting as wildly as I could (arms a-flailing, huffing and puffing - you name it I could of won an oscar for my dramatic performance).

Then literally ten minutes ago my darling older brother (27 but mentally still 12) decides to play a game on his phone with the most annoying, repetitive sounds. Normally, like the snoring I can block this out, but again I ended up becoming a drama queen making a massive deal out of it!

I suppose it's better than crying, which is what I spent most of my first trimester doing. I could barely walk past clothes shops without lustfully gazing at those gorgeous clothes, my lovely boyfriend offering to treat me to a new dress, then me suddenly bursting into tears telling him he is so insensitive, does he not realise I will soon enough be too fat to wear any of that stuff!

The joys of pregnancies ladies, let's embrace it!!!

I'm 32 weeks pregnant, but measuring about 36 apparently, so my bump is sizeable, but i'm only 5'4" so not exactly massive. If one more person asks if i'm having twins I swear i'll attack. I've just been going for the succinct Fuck Off response.

But still. I can't make it another 8 weeks, the idea of being overdue is awful and I can't do it. I don't think I could cope with the rage.

Also, DH sleeps in the middle of the bed, technically on his pillow, but right on the edge of it. Which means he's so flippin close to me all the time, I just want to be left alone!

And I've got a cold. And reflux. Motherfuckers, the lot of them (this applies to any and all things pissing me off)

ChaffinchOfDoom Wed 20-Nov-13 21:39:28

loving this thread. bummummy hope all is well

sharing some of these with dh, who pulled his 'worried' face.
Not had much rage yet but only 21 weeks, 'tis early days..

patagonia09 Wed 20-Nov-13 21:40:01

People walked ridiculously slow in front of me during my precious lunch break- nearly scissor kicked them in the back if the head.

I would pay money to see a heavily pregnant lady scissor kick someone in the back of the head.

BummyMummy77 Wed 20-Nov-13 21:59:59

So I've just ventured down into the basement for the first time in 8 months as the puppy had disappeared.

It's like night of the living dead down there. Dead animals EVERYWHERE (5 cats have obviously been using it as a kitty morgue) and a very happy puppy chewing away on a mouthful of cat shit.

DH is a fucking pig. No wonder he's kept me out of there. Except he's been telling me the stairs are too steep not that he's a lazy, disgusting human.

I've put one of the more decomposed dead things (think it's a bird) on his precious iPad as a satanic warning to tidy up when he gets home.

I was also begging for a tissue for 10 minutes this morning (was stuck like a big fat turtle in bed) and he was ignoring me. Playing on aforementioned iPad. Luckily he had a t-shirt on the bed so I blew my nose in that.

Take note everyone, if they ignore you or piss you off - take action. It works way better than the whining.

My uterus is causing me massive rage. Why won't it work?! 42 weeks today.

confusedabouted Thu 21-Nov-13 10:51:03

You lot need to calm the fuck down,seriously,get a grip,you are pregnant,that does not give you the right to go around hauling peple out of cars and punching people in stomachs.

confusedabouted

Thank you for your polite and succinct response.

Sadly, I feel you may have misjudged the situation and think that everything everyone says is totally true. I'm confident (and I await being contridicted) that some of these comments are exagerated. Thank you for your concern all the same.

exaggerated

WhisperMen Thu 21-Nov-13 11:14:31

well I'm pretty sure someone has got the wrong end of the stick <peers over glasses at confused>

<sigh> There is always someone who has to ruin it isn't there?

What frustrates me Whisper is that the thread was clicked on, read, and still confused thought that we should all be told to fuck off.

I don't expect preferential treatment because i'm pregnant. It's because i'm fucking ace.

and modest. Can't forget modest. smile

livingzuid Thu 21-Nov-13 11:29:19

Oh my, has someone had a sense of humour failure today? Or is it just someone enjoying trolling a thread full of hormonal women letting off some highly entertaining steam? I wouldn't recommend it as apparently we are all violent lunatics and could quite easily do some damage confused

Right, I'm off to drive over the nearest unsuspecting cyclist who dares come near my car. Plenty of them round here to choose from so I'm spoilt for choice!

froubylou Thu 21-Nov-13 11:38:11

Is this AIBU?

Have we requested anyones opinion?

No.

You still got gunny bm? Might need him.

BummyMummy77 Thu 21-Nov-13 11:45:02

confused

I came on to tell everyone that I'm having contractions 4 minutes apart and was feeling rather sorry for myself.

Thanks for tipping me over into my lovely safe rage, it made the last two much easier.

Get out of the thread and stay out or I shall bitch slap you from here to next week.

I think I love you bummy

froubylou Thu 21-Nov-13 12:00:45

Yay for bm having contractions! Now is your dp there? Has he got the boat ready for the midwife? Phone her and remind her you need drugs.

Leave your birthing pool up when you have done with it too. We can use it if confused comes back. If she/he isn't actually a witch then they won't actually drown.

froubylou Thu 21-Nov-13 12:02:11

Oh wait they will won't they? Fuck.
Shame.

BummyMummy77 Thu 21-Nov-13 12:14:19

I WANT FUCKING DRUGS. Who's stupid fucking idea was this?

The cats are all playing in the birth tub.

I've changed my mind I want epidurals and hospitals.

livingzuid Thu 21-Nov-13 12:37:19

Oh bunny cats playing in the birth pool...dear lord... I'm honestly so pleased for you that your contractions have finally started and not at all laughing at your misery which I hope is nearly at an end. Keep us posted! How exciting.

livingzuid Thu 21-Nov-13 12:38:19

bummy even. Blame it on the fact that I'm sitting at my desk eating Nutella from my knife.

froubylou Thu 21-Nov-13 12:49:47

Bm I'm here eating mr kipling french fancies aldi snides for you. I know they aren't drugs but with the amount of e numbers in them they ought to be.

Kick the cats out though. They will be making soup with dead rodents if you don't watch them.

WhisperMen Thu 21-Nov-13 13:28:26

ooh good luck bummy though im a bit sad that we wont get many more rages from you now sad

BummyMummy77 Thu 21-Nov-13 13:45:36

Ug. You may get a few yet.

Are you meant to bleed with each contraction? That doesn't strike me as good.

I just ate a bowl of Crunchy Nut conrflakes and promptly threw them up.

fuckwittery Thu 21-Nov-13 13:48:56

Bummy, yes i bled with each contraction, quite a lot, it is a good sign of quick progress my MW told me.

dobedobedo Thu 21-Nov-13 13:57:50

Good luck bummy!!!

Fuck off confusedabouted

SugarMiceInTheRain Thu 21-Nov-13 14:02:25

Wow this thread has made me laugh out loud! Glad I'm not the only one with the rage. I'm 27 weeks tomorrow and look like I'm about to pop. It's getting harder to just smile sweetly and nod when people comment on my size. It's only likely to get worse over the next 12 weeks (scheduled section so at least there's a definite end date in sight and no possibility of going overdue, thank goodness)

I have really got the rage today after phoning the Jobcentre with a query about SMP/ MA - I have filled in the SMP1 form on my employer's behalf as she is blind but according to the jobsworth at JobcentrePlus the entire form 'has to be filled in in the employer's handwriting otherwise my claim for MA will be rejected' I wish I'd had the presence of mind to ask for his manager, accuse them of discrimination and cite the equalities act. If my boss could see to fill in the forms in her own handwriting and do other such tasks, I would be out of a job. Morons.

Otherwise, I'm mostly getting the rage with DH and the DC blush and keeping it disguised from the rest of the world...

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Thu 21-Nov-13 15:06:51

Good luck bummy, hope it all goes well. I wasn't really paying attention when I was in labour, but I think bleeding with contractions is quite normal.

Please come back and visit us after when you're all calm and loved up and not angry any more. You can laugh at us and tell us how unreasonable we're being.

MrTumblesKnickers Thu 21-Nov-13 15:22:42

<backs away from the scary angry pregnant people>

I am 38 weeks with mild pregnancy irritability, I don't belong on this thread I think!

Good luck bummy.

bopoityboo3 Thu 21-Nov-13 18:00:39

Love love love this thread.
Didn't think I was getting any pregnancy rage until I had a complete melt down at a couple of 6th formers yesterday. Stupid little bastards haven't even started their course work, it's due tomorrow to give me time to mark the 46 pieces of work which are all meant to be 2500 words each before internal moderation, they seem to think deadlines don't apply to them. Dicks. Ranting raving and maybe the odd tear ensued.

THEN one of the little oikes offered to get me a cup of coffee!!!! It was kinda fun watch his 6'2 frame back away slowly as a screech of rage about how I'm not allowed sodding coffee left my lips.

ancelynthecraven Thu 21-Nov-13 18:13:02

Confusedabouted. It's my thread. I started it. Name changed for Doctor Who festivities.
Now fuck off back from whence you came.
Would you really speak to a room full of us with that tone and attitude?
I also hope all the doctor Who stuff on tv is making you puke with boredom.
So there!

ancelynthecraven Thu 21-Nov-13 18:13:38

And good luck Bunny. wine

morgs22 Thu 21-Nov-13 19:09:24

I hate work and the people at it! I forgot to do a couple things and 2 of the bitches made such a big deal out of it and made me feel like shit, even though they're both lazy and I did pretty much everything! (not even an exaggeration). Since finding out I'm pregnant most people I work with are really alright and understanding when I forget something or get tired and need a break. A few horrible wenches have decided to make my life hell and put me in the busiest areas with no help and when they're there just sit at the computer and phone doing nothing!

debating whether to watch a sad film and just crying like a maniac to get it out of my system.

Good luck bummy I hope its soon for you x thanks

froubylou Thu 21-Nov-13 20:25:07

Bm I hope you are too busy having newborn cuddles to come and update us but when you get a minute pop in and let us know.

Worried about you on that island with your midwife and presumably hospital and drugs a boatride away. Is there a helicopter service though?

Not that you will need it. You will have embraced all that rage to get you through. Xx

Any update BM??

froubylou Fri 22-Nov-13 03:06:52

Bm I need to know how you are!

Just had to eat a ruffle bar cos dp making me v.v.v stabby tonight.

He smells funny. That might be my fault as he had annoyed me last week half way round morrisons so I got him cheap and nasty shower gel.

He keeps breathing on me.

Poked him with my special toenail and he asked if I had been for my dinner. No you fucker cos it's 2am and you made me jump.

And been down for another glass of water and now I need another wee. Ffs.

SugarMiceInTheRain Fri 22-Nov-13 04:19:57

I have insomnia now, which is extra preggo-rage inducing. I went up for an early night as was knackered and very grumpy. Could I sleep? Hell no. Even though I've been too tired to function all day. So now it's 4am, I have to be up and ready to face another day in 3 hours. I am not amused.

DH is even irritating me by his ability to sleep peacefully whilst I suffer (unfair of me to say I know, as he has to get up and work tomorrow - at least in theory I can have a nap once the kids are at school)

Hoping for an update from BM soon...

KalevalaForMePlease Fri 22-Nov-13 04:43:10

Also lurking for an update from BummyMummy. Good luck!

KalevalaForMePlease Fri 22-Nov-13 04:44:03

I bet she'll come on and tell us all to fuck off, and that she'll update when she's bloody ready! grin

BummyMummy77 Fri 22-Nov-13 10:26:20

I'm too fucking busy to be updating you fools on Mumsnet.

grin

Eifion Paul was born after a pretty quick 12 hours, 6 of which was pushing. Midwife wouldn't even let me have paracetamol. That got lots of rage haha.

He's 7.7 with a massive head that's ruined my moomin and got me 10 days of bed rest. (Lost quite a bit of blood too). He is far too cute to feel rageful at.

I obviously felt annoyed about something though as I have bloodied and bruised knuckles and can't remember how! :S

Highlight was shitting on dh in the births tub and watching him try not to freak out whilst chasing little bits of poo around with his wine sediment sieve haha.

Emilycee Fri 22-Nov-13 11:13:16

smile Congratulations BummyMummy!

I really think you should write a book/blog on preggo rage - your posts make me piss myself laughing! (probably more being preggo!)

ancelynthecraven Fri 22-Nov-13 11:17:04

Yay Bummy! thanksthanksthankswinewinewine

WhisperMen Fri 22-Nov-13 11:21:33

Congratulations bummy. enjoy your little one grin

my rage today is because I cleaned the kitchen. took me an hour and knackered my back and hips. then dp strolls in makes himself breakfast and leaves mess everywhere. he got a teaspoon thrown at his head. wankbadger.

Stevie77 Fri 22-Nov-13 11:32:53

Bummy, what a lovely end to all that rage, congratulations!

Peanutsmummy2be Fri 22-Nov-13 11:41:41

Congrats bummy grin grin thanks thanks wine wine
Your posts on here never fail to make me laugh....you'll still need to visit with funny tales smile xx

froubylou Fri 22-Nov-13 11:49:54

Thank fuck you are ok bm. Love his name!

Don't forget you can continue with your rage for another 6 months at least. We just blame it on hormones now and baby blues!

Pmsl at your dh chasing floaters around. I wanted a water birth but probably having a c section now. I told dp that would be his job and the wanker gagged.

I have supermarket rage again today. Honestly why can't people just fucking walk normally. Why all the stop start swerving that goes on. And I'm usually the first to defend the oldrr generation but I think they are taking the piss out of me now.

2 old dears have shuffled and wimbled round today. Had me reach up to pass them some fancy pickle they needed and everything. Average speed about half a mile per hour getting in my way.

Until they announced there was some reduced stuff at the end of aisle 6. Never seen a pair of octogenarians move so fast ffs.

Just taking piss out of me by shuffling around. Bastards.

livingzuid Fri 22-Nov-13 12:10:39

bummy yay and congratulations!

Emilycee Fri 22-Nov-13 14:24:25

Frouby I think its something to do with Fridays. Ive just been to M&S and it was full of the grey cauliflower hair do brigade. the first thing they always do without fail is walk into the shop and stop dead... right in the fucking walkway... when I have a precious half a fucking hour to grab lunch and back to work.. there should be a curfew for old folk in suppermarkets - not allowed in between 12 and 2pm!

Of course on the way out I was following a couple of shuffers blissfully ignorant of the que of people building up behind them but couldnt get past them.. then guess what they did as they got outside the door?! any guesses? THEY STOPPED FUCKING DEAD! Arrrrrrggh! (who mentioned scissor kicks?!)

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Fri 22-Nov-13 17:43:49

Congratulations bummy! And please come back and visit often.

I am just raging in general today. I keep hoping something specific will piss me off so I can have a proper tantrum, but nothing will cooperate. Everything is working properly, dh is well behaved and helpful.

Maybe I will phone my mother and initiate a conversation about my lack of career direction.

somewherebecomingrain Fri 22-Nov-13 20:45:43

Not pg now thank god but I was a monster and my dp christened me Fecundstein. I'd love it if it got picked up. Better than pregzilla.

bummy congrats and I am totally creased up at the use of a wine sediment sieve to fish out shit. That'll learn your DH.

My rage has been quelled a little by having the raging shits and vomiting bug. It turns out you need some energy to be rageful. Who knew?

toffeesponge Fri 22-Nov-13 21:46:50

I love this thread grin.

I am not pregnant. I realise now I did not take full advantage of it's my hormones. sad

KalevalaForMePlease Fri 22-Nov-13 23:45:52

Congrats BummyMummy!

froubylou Sat 23-Nov-13 01:34:05

I have the rage tonight. Sigh.

My rage tonight is at stupid creepy clown rumours going around fb. And that fucker Stephen King for writing It. And the stupid mners who did a scary book thread at Halloween and all said how scary it was so I realised I hadn't read it. So downloaded it just in time for some silly bastards to be running round in clown dress up gear.

So that means that even though I am really, really thirsty I darent go down and get myself a drink.

MummyPig24 Sat 23-Nov-13 06:27:29

Congratulations bummy!

I have the rage. I've been up half the night unable to sleep. I spent the majority of yesterday crying and sobbing. Then dh got me the wrong chocolate. Not his fault but I was still very upset about it!

I've got a cold, I'm cold and tired and very cross. I pity anyone who pisses me off today.

I had the rage yesterday with people taking advantage of my husband (which is fair enough to be ragey at) but then also because someone took the last tube of smarties from the fridge at work. They weren't my smarties, work gives us crisps and chocolate and pop for free, but i wanted them.

itsonlyapapermoon Sat 23-Nov-13 08:20:51

I've got the rage today with my stupid pissing kitchen clock. Fucker kept stopping and I used about eleventy billion batteries before taking the stupid thing off the wall. Finally got a new mechanism to fit it, waited a month for the fucker to arrive from China, fitted it and all seemed well. For half an hour. Then it stopped. Thought it might've accidentally been an old battery I put in it. Bought new batteries today. All well and good, working again. For half an hour. The cuntox has stopped again and I'm going to throw it out the window. RAAAGGE!!

tumbletumble Sat 23-Nov-13 08:44:29

Congratulations Bummy!

itsonlyapapermoon Sat 23-Nov-13 08:45:46

Congrats too Bummy, didn't see your post earlier!!

Rhibeetee Sat 23-Nov-13 10:59:23

Congrats Bummy!!

Now we both have babies smile

Just FYI, my baby blues are more rage! (Yay) no weeping, just more rage.

I got worried for a while because i was so calm and content...the mil saw to that and now the rage is back with full force.

froubylou Sat 23-Nov-13 13:14:46

Glad to hear birth isn't taking the edge off for you Rhib.

Kodak are the cause of me weeping tears of rage this morning. Bastarding printet won't fucking print. It tells me there is a paper jam. So I lift the paper out and reload it. Then it tells me to load paper so I do. Then it pulls it through about 6 inch then tells me there is a jam.

Was calm. Followed instructions on website. 3 times.

It didn't fucking work.

I suspect that the pen that DP wasn't supposed to use (its my special pen) that I asked him to put away in my bag where it lives is down the back of it Bastarding jammed in somewhere.

Luckily for the printer DP came home just as I hsd decided it was fucked and was going to smash it to bits just to find what it is. He took that and the hammer off me whilst I wept tears of pure rage. And has made me cheese on toast and told me to just buy a new one tomorrow.

What pushed me over the edge though is that I can't find anyone that sells that sort of printer. I only bought it about 18 months ago. And have a pack of inks to use in it.

Bastarding fucking cunting kodak 1.2 Bastarding thing.

And now I'm having bh and have indigestion from the cheese on toast. But if I walk past the printrr to get my gaviscon I can't promise I won't smash it up or tell it to pick a window.

DP going to try and mend it tomorrow. I best take the dog out while he does.

toffeesponge Sat 23-Nov-13 13:32:14

I started reading this thread yesterday for the first time and am only up to November 2nd. I was thinking about it this morning and I had come to the conclusion we feel stabby about our husbands to prepare ourselves for the fact the Baby has to come first and all our protectiveness is coming out in our hatred of our husbands grin.

<back to November 2nd>
<never wants this thread to end>grin

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Sat 23-Nov-13 19:21:33

Dh is in the kitchen over-seasoning my dinner again. He currently insists on being in charge of the cooking because I can't reach the sink to wash up (our kitchen was designed by a moron).

We are having a dishwasher delivered on Wednesday. On Thursday I am back in the kitchen and then I will HAVE MY REVENGE!!!

Tiptop32 Sat 23-Nov-13 21:15:15

Ontherun- what is it with men and seasoning? Dp is the same, thinks everything is bland if it doesn't have black pepper galore, chillies and Tabasco in it. What is wrong with bland? I bloody well like bland and so does bump so cook it how We like it!!!!!

KiBe Sat 23-Nov-13 21:26:18

Hi, I love this thread btw!

I am 41 weeks. Yesterday could have murdered partner as, rather than being nice and just doing bedtime as he worked from home so was actually here in time, he let DD 'choose', inevitably psychically choosing the least keen parent (me). Did point out that I had got up with her and got her to school while he had lie in and I took her to park after (heroic in my current state). He said he would be fine to get up with her if he got to rest during the day too and implied that I had practically had day off the previous day.. Pointed out his fucking amnesia that I had spent all of her school day going from midwife to hospital when they couldn't find baby heartbeat with crap monitor, and spent 4 hours in triage being monitored and prodded, so when friend offered to take daughter to hers for tea after I had rushed back to school to get her to ballet it was hardly fucking time off! All he had to do that day was pick her up on way home and get her to bed.
After I did bedtime I spent half hour in sleeping daughters room playing on my phone as I was still so angry with him.

Moltobene Sun 24-Nov-13 08:16:37

Love this thread can totally relate!

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Sun 24-Nov-13 09:08:59

tiptop I am planning at least a week of pasta with pesto and cheese on toast.

<rubs hands with glee>

I love this thread too. It may be the only thing keeping me out of prison.

froubylou Sun 24-Nov-13 09:41:49

That Bastarding Printer is still sat there all smug looking at me. And I swear it's fucking smirking at me.

Dsis who was here yesterday when it broke txt me last night to see if I had mended it. Told her no and was going to get hammer to it when DP takes dog out. She pointed out that I'd never mend it that way.

She has missed the point. I might not mend it but if its in pieces I've won.

Bastard DP put his hammer in car and hid keys. Bastard.

WhisperMen Sun 24-Nov-13 10:34:22

smash the printer up a little bit. Tap it with the hammer just hard enough for it to hurt a bit frouby it needs to know it's place and that you are not to be messed with.

MissMedusa Sun 24-Nov-13 10:45:34

I don't like ANY of my friends. Every time I go out with them and have to listen to their inane, self-absorbed chatter I am silently fantasizing about slapping their faces. Every one of them! I'm sure it's partly to do with being sober but how have I not noticed how annoying they are until now?!

ancelynthecraven Sun 24-Nov-13 20:25:11

Itchy and stretchy. Keep rubbing in the creams but it's so uncomfortable. If I snooze in the day I can't sleep at night and my boobs feel prickly and stretchy as well. Can't fit in the shower cubicle and can't be arsed to run a bath.
And I've got 5 weeks to go.
At least I'm on mat leave now.

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Mon 25-Nov-13 10:42:48

I hate Mondays.

The lift was broken so I had to hobble twice as far to get to an alternate route to my office. It frustrates me that I have no one to blame for this. I would have given the lift a good kicking but my hips hurt too much, so instead I threw my crutches on the floor and swore a lot.

I hate Mondays.

WhisperMen Mon 25-Nov-13 10:49:51

I have to walk to the mw today. It's at a different place than usual because she didn't have a space for me in the usual clinic. This means I have to walk an extra mile to get to the new health centre. I cannot be fucking bothered. I am tired after being in hospital until 2am after thinking my waters had broken. Nobody was entirely sure if it was my waters or not so had two doctors and a mw rummaging around in my foof and jabbing me with a swab only for them to give their medical diagnosis of "it probably wasn't your waters, but keep an eye on it at home and come back if you get any pains. hmm
My feet and legs are so swollen no fucking shoes fit me, so I have to wear DPs ones and they look like clown shoes. I have a party to go to tonight that I have no enthusiasm for. Who wants to go and sit in a corner sipping diet coke whilst watching all your friends and family get ratarsed?

frouby how's the printer?

froubylou Mon 25-Nov-13 11:12:09

Its still fooked whisper. Bastard Thing sat at the side of me now but I've covered it up with a big pile of Bastard Paperwork so I can't see as much of it. But the paper tray at the back is sticking out a bit and looking a bit cheery for my liking. I really, really want to smash it up so see what has fell down the back and jammed it but I know that if it is something of DP's I'll kill the fucker and I need him to get me to the hospital if I go in labour.

So the resentment between me and printer grows and festers and lingers on. Printer now worried that I haven't picked it up and shook it or poked it with something for 24 hours and is wondering what my next move is. Bastard Thing going in the bin. But I'm going to wait until friday when I can buy a new one. And then unpack new one in plain site of the Bastard Thing so it can see what it has driven me to. And sweat a bit longer before I take it outside and launch it into the bin with the shittiest, muckiest split bin bag in there. And then take great pleasure in changing the chip pan oil and pouring the old oil on top of it.

That should teach it a lesson. Never, ever fuck with a pg woman.

Cancel your midwife appoinment. Or get a taxi there or even a bus. Or ask for a home visit. If you saw loads of folk last night and they have had a look up your fanny etc I doubt the M/W dipping your pee, measuring your bump and taking your blood pressure is going to tell you anything you couldn't wait a few days for.

I'm glad I don't have to work or be civil to people on a regular basis. I don't think I could cope. The only people that don't annoy me are DD, DP (most of the time) and the Dog. Everyone else can fuck right off as far as I'm concerned. And when my baby is here and they all want a cuddle they can fuck off some more. I haven't seen anyone other than family for weeks on end. No one phones to see how I am or if I need anything doing. No one has offered to help and no one has nipped down with chocolate for me. Bastards can all fuck off!

WhisperMen Mon 25-Nov-13 11:50:01

try tipping it up frouby pick it up, turn it over and give it a good shake grin

I would cancel it, but I just know in a few days time I will be even less motivated to go. Also DP is finishing early today to come with me and I am going to persuade him to take me for lunch somewhere. I need to get out of the flat to somewhere that isn't medical or the cinema.

AngryByrd Mon 25-Nov-13 13:26:53

Hi Everyone,

I had little Isla on Wednesday the 20th. Two days early because I had a really bad headache and because I had preeclampsia last time.

It was a nice experience and although I want 4 children, I think I'm done having them the good old fashioned way.

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Mon 25-Nov-13 13:52:09

Frouby I really think that printer needs a good kicking. At the very least.

I have nearly finished my work and could go home early for once, but there is a plumber in my cellar who will be making a horrible noise and lots of mess. I can't get angry with him because he's plumbing in the washing machine to make room in the kitchen for the dishwasher. Plus, obviously, we asked him to do it and we're paying him. Also I can't get angry at dh because he offered to work from home today to supervise.

Therefore I cannot go home.

Also, the next person who tells me they were "hardly showing" at 25 weeks, with a sideways glance at my frankly enormous bump is going to find themselves upside down in the nearest bin. And I don't care if I have to dislocate my hip to do it.

I hate Mondays.

Congratulations AngryByrd grin

misskatamari Mon 25-Nov-13 14:17:48

I'm 30 weeks and for the most part have avoided the rage (except for bad drivers) but oh my god! It has hit! I have just seen a post on a local mums Facebook group in on written in what I presume is "text speak" e.g wat, rite, coz, bin, no (for know). I want to hunt down the woman and punch her in her stupid illiterate face!!!! Baby is going nuts poor thing as I am so irrationally fuming! Deep. Breaths. Deep. Breaths.

twinklexx Mon 25-Nov-13 15:51:17

making funny comments about whether DH is the father of our baby is just implying i'm a slag. That is why i don't find it funny you stupid fucking moron!
im so glad i found this thread smile

toffeesponge Tue 26-Nov-13 13:52:04

ancelynthecraven - please get your liver function checked as you could have obstetric cholestasis which is dangerous to the baby. Excessive itching is a sign.

BummyMummy77 Tue 26-Nov-13 18:17:38

Yay Rhib and Angry. Congrats!!

So Eifion Paul was 7.7 and is lush. I love him and feel all bubbly and fuzzy when I look at him.

But. Let me tell you, preggo rage doesn't have a patch on Mama bear rage. If you're that way inclined that your hormones can be strong and you get cross easily then start buckling shit down now.

Dh has just put a huge wash of all ds' clothes on boil wash then tumbled on high heat. Despite me saying for MONTHS that WE CAN NOT TUMBLE MOST OF HIS BABY STUFF AS ITS ALL NICE EXPENSIVE COTTON THAT WILL FUCKING SHRINK. So pretty much all of his nice newborn stuff is fit only for Barbies now.

Thing is, I can't actually yell (and don't want to) now ds is here so I've had to find other coping mechanisms for his shit. Snarling and emailing him threats of what I'll do when I'm allowed to get out of bed are all I can manage right now.

Any bright spark tells me I'm lucky to have a dh that'll help with the washing - do one.

Howly Fri 29-Nov-13 07:16:02

This is hilarious but I can relate on every level and I'm still early days! For no reason I keep wanting to throw whatever I have in my hand at DH!

He over seasons stuff too and I've now taken to refusing to eat it!

As a teacher I find myself having to breathe very deeply when an irritating child is in range!!

froubylou Fri 29-Nov-13 20:29:04

I am 37 weeks today. I celebrated with a pizza. Ordered food for the 3 of us.

Guess who's food got left in the shop?

I wasn't angry much. No. Not really.

Pizza man made the 4 mile round trip very quickly though!

And tomorrow I am going Christmas shopping with DD and my DM. DM is full of ideas of where we will go. We are going to the out of town retail park. We are not going to the mahosive shopping centre that will be absolutely packed because I am very liable to kill some fucker. I nearly lost plot in supermarket today.

2 weeks to go to elcs. Thank fuck for breech babies because I can't do 4 more weeks of this. In fact he can come early for me. But not tomorrow. Too busy lol.

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Sat 30-Nov-13 18:12:39

PILs have been with us since Wednesday and I am climbing the fucking walls.

Thursday was my grandfather's funeral. It was a lovely day, but surrounded by people, which is really the last thing I want at the moment.

PILs are driving me insane. They are so relentlessly naice. I just want a couple of days with no-one but dh and ds, so I can burst into tears whenever I want, and not have to be so fucking polite to everyone.

I miss my grandpa. He was never polite.

BummyMummy77 Sat 30-Nov-13 18