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Me and the wife trying to concieve wife 44 myself 34

(42 Posts)
fish6634 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:18:35

hi all first of all apologies for being male on here i can honestly say i havent seen any on here as of yet. I am only on here myself as i have been doing research into the chances of a 44 year old lady concieving naturally and the odds on the internet dont seem very promising and disappointing.

Having found this site via a google search on a lady concieving in her fourties and reading alot of your experiences on here i was wondering how many of you have concieved naturally? Me and my wife have been trying for 4 months so far paying close attention to ovulation and taking our vitamins haha. I have to admit however that it is crushing to watch her being so upset everytime a period comes along. Last month she had a very light period and so far this month she has complained of sore boobs, stomach cramps, she is making the bed too hot for me so her temp is up she has been moody and short, which believe it or not i am very happy about because they seem to be all the right signs. I annoyingly check once a week if she has had any symptoms but this week non..... However she isnt having any period pains either, due on monday. Thanks For having a read and if some could any my earlier question about concieving naturally in the fourties i would be grateful.


fish6634 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:19:40

apologies for my i before e except after c mistakes

IComeFromALandDownUnder Wed 25-Sep-13 15:23:15

Hi Fish,
It is not impossible but you both should be getting checked out by a doctor. Clomid might increase your chances. Best of luck to you both!

IComeFromALandDownUnder Wed 25-Sep-13 15:24:38

Also there are plenty of people on this board and that I know in real life that conceive in their forties but I would still recommend getting checked out by a doctor.

UriGeller Wed 25-Sep-13 15:31:09

Well I'm 42 and have a 7 month baby who was conceived naturally (a happy accident, her brother is less than 2 years older!)

At this age I would expect it to take longer than just a few months of trying though.

Good Luck!

Foxeym Wed 25-Sep-13 15:33:25

Hi I'm 42 and 36 weeks pregnant with DC3, conceived naturally on cycle 2. My midwife has said she has quite a few ladies in their 40's who have conceived naturally as our diets etc are so much better now. Best of luck smile

NatashaBee Wed 25-Sep-13 15:38:09

Given your wife's age, I would go and see a doctor so you can hopefully get referred to get hormone levels checked and see whether she's ovulating regularly - if not, then it's better you know about it sooner and can address it.

Sarahmains40 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:38:43

Hi I can't offer you any adivce but there is lots of ladies on here in 40s who are pregnant and concvied naturally. Good luck to the both of you, you sound like a very supportive hubby smile

fish6634 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:57:49

Hi just from the ovulation point of view she does the tests every month so she knows when she is, sarahmains i try to be as supportive as i can, she is my world

Forester Wed 25-Sep-13 16:03:37

The other thing to be prepared for is that even if your wife falls pregnant (and there's a fair chance she will) the risk of miscarriage increases significantly with age. And there are different types including a missed miscarriage (which I didn't know existed until I had one) which is where there's no bleeding but you find out at the scan that the baby died some week(s) earlier. It's unusual but pregnancy symptons can continue even after the baby has died.

Sorry for being rather negative but since you're obviously doing research this is also something you should be considering.

I also agree with earlier posts about going to the doctors sooner rather than later. Also if finances permit it may be worth considering private investigations as you're likely to be answers quicker - which would obviously be helpful in your position. I only have experience of fertility investigations on the NHS - the time between my first doctors appointment and being given clomid was about a year. There were various steps in between so I suspect (but don't know) that this is a fairly standard time frame.

Good luck to both of you.

womma Wed 25-Sep-13 20:14:48

I'm 43 and 12 weeks pregnant, it does happen naturally I promise! It took about 7 months to happen for us. Good luck, just keep the shagging up!

snowqu33n Thu 26-Sep-13 10:26:20

44 and 28 weeks pregnant here, conceived naturally. We were NTNP (not trying, not preventing) for about 5 months. Because you are younger than your wife, your chances are better than if you were both over 40. My advice would be, stay positive and don't fixate too much on conceiving, try to just enjoy your relationship. Good luck.

rosiedays Thu 26-Sep-13 11:37:54

Hi I'm 43 and currently snuggling my generous 10 weekold nnaturally conceived baby girl. Dh is 30.
Of course it's possible there are lots of us on here( 100 more in rl)
I second get a quick check with the Dr and enjoy ttc
Good luck.

MinkyWinky Thu 26-Sep-13 11:46:20

I'm 44 and due any day. BabyMinky was conceived naturally. However, I had two early miscarriages when I was 42, but as the fertility specialist said, at least it showed I could conceive naturally.

We did get ourselves checked out by the specialist and it was reassuring to know that we were fine 'for our age'.

fish6634 Thu 26-Sep-13 14:58:51

hi thanks for all your messages its good to know there is hope smile

fish6634 Thu 26-Sep-13 15:00:04

oh by the way when you have all been saying "doctors and get checked out" are you refering to fertility testing or general health? i know this may seem a silly question

Dededum Thu 26-Sep-13 15:06:31

Fertility testing would be sensible - I assume neither of you already have kids.

fish6634 Thu 26-Sep-13 15:48:24

I have two girls with a previous partner and my wife has a girl and a boy with a previous partner. the youngest my wife had is 5 and my youngest is 5

MinkyWinky Thu 26-Sep-13 16:08:07

Yes, fertility testing. Your wife can get a tet that gives an Indication of her egg reserve.

fish6634 Mon 30-Sep-13 07:44:37

Quick update tomorrow (2nd oct) is suppose to be the start of time of the month, it will either be great joy or both down in the dumps

Just a thought, did you actually do a test last month? It's just when I was pregnant with dd1 I had an implantation bleed which I took for a light period and didn't test and it later transpired I was pregnant, seems abit funny she's had a light period and signs of pregnancy, could it be she was pregnant last month? Just a thought?

magicturnip Mon 30-Sep-13 08:06:45

You sound like a great husband! There was a programme on radio 4 about this which said that there is very little quality research on fertility and women over 40. What little research exists does indicate that it is harder to conceive, but that women obv do still conceive. I am hoping to try to conceive again at 41. You wife ovulated regularly so that is a great boon. Good luck!

fish6634 Mon 30-Sep-13 08:19:30

thank you magic. Kitty my wife did test last month but it was a couple of days before time of the month with a cheap tesco (£3.50) test, then she had the light bleed she said she never really had a period as such 2 days light bleeding max, she is normally heavy for at least 4 days and 6 days start to finish. i had the same thought myself about her already being pregnant i am just crossing everything i can cross

absentmindeddooooodles Mon 30-Sep-13 08:37:00

My mum is 46 and has a 3 year old. Concieved naturally. She also had an operation uears ago to remove one of her ovaries/and a tube removed so was up against that too.
It sounds lile you are doing everything right. I think she and her partner took pregnacare conception tablets ( they sell them for men too) and apparantley this helped. ( very early miscarriage before she started taking them) obviously this is just a hunch that this was to do with the tablets, but every little bit helps I guess.
Sorry, not really any useful info, but just wanted to share a sucess story with you.
I think it took my mum about 6 months to concieve at this age with the pregnancy that stuck....and is now running around my front room like a tornado smile
Good luck. You sound lovely.

fish6634 Mon 30-Sep-13 09:11:15

i am taking a wellman version and my wife is taking pregnacare smile

absentmindeddooooodles Mon 30-Sep-13 09:28:30

smile sounds like you are both doing all the right things then. Hope it happens for you both.

fish6634 Mon 30-Sep-13 12:38:56

Great story about your mum absentminded

meditrina Mon 30-Sep-13 12:42:28

Have you spotted the MN Conception forum?

It might help you to have a browse right there, and there is an over40s TTC chat thread that you/DW might like to join.

fish6634 Mon 30-Sep-13 15:37:00

no i havent seen that forum i will have a look into it smile. by the way whats all this DW/DH i realise the H is husband and the W is wife but whats the D?

meditrina Mon 30-Sep-13 15:39:54

D - conventionally 'dear' or 'darling'

On MN also 'dratted' 'damned' 'dreadful' 'dickhead' etc - depending on what they've just done.

catdoctor Mon 30-Sep-13 18:29:01

Hi fish we've managed it twice in our decrepitude; DS1 was conceived when I was 41 after approx. 12 months of not trying very hard, DS2 when I was 45 (due dec) after 11 cycles TTC; DH is 52.

We made a decision not to go for IVF/egg donation etc - mostly as we couldn't afford it, but I was (reasonably) content to say what will be will be; for us the genetic cards have fallen well. I think as others have suggested that it is a good idea to have as much info as poss regarding your fertility - provided it doesn't stress you out.

I used Fertility Friend software- free on line, which really helped me understand my cycle - DH was on meds for heart disease so, bless him, not up to much in the DTD department so I had to be really canny in timing stuff - and I think that really made a difference for us. I also used OPKs but I found them less useful - it was really about understanding my own body.

Very best of luck!!

duvetheaven Mon 30-Sep-13 21:14:49

I am 42 and DP is 46 and just conceived at first attempt making use of Clearblue Fertility Monitor and taking a cough medicine containing guaifenisin a few hours before 'doing the deed' as thins the mucus in the body. I would also recommend acupuncture.
I have a DD5 but have experienced miscarriages in the past so am not through first trimester yet so 'not counting my chickens yet'.
Some people recommend royal jelly / Chinese medicine.
Good luck

fish6634 Tue 01-Oct-13 09:08:05

today is the day which is suppose to be the beginning of time of the month and no pains etc so fingers and toes crossed!! catdoctor and duvetheaven thanks for sharing your stories and everyone else its great to know there is quite alot of hope out there. We have mainly only heard and been told negative facts, even telling family we are trying especially the DW (haha) family have been negative and stating her ages etc which hasnt made her feel great. Hope is good

BlackberrySeason Tue 01-Oct-13 09:12:48

My Gynae told me odds of conceiving at 40+ are better if you already have a baby than if it is your first. Have you looked into charting? I read a study that said for older mums TTC (like me!) timing is even more important and charting ups your success rate. I've bought duofertility, which works but is pricey at £450 and does the charting for you via a temp patch. You could also do it just on paper or via the fertility friend website - ff has a ten free emails learn to chart course, which I found really helpful.

duvetheaven Tue 01-Oct-13 19:16:12

Good luck Fish - hope things work out for you both smile

fish6634 Wed 02-Oct-13 12:01:29

The dreaded time of the month arrived........ Gutted sad

Felyne Wed 02-Oct-13 15:35:18

Sorry x

ejctm Thu 03-Oct-13 23:59:38

41 and accidentally pregnant! Thought I was starting menopause, but not yet. It can happen to anyone without trying, so if you are trying then you are maximising your chances. Good luck!

jessandme Fri 04-Oct-13 00:28:12

fish I conceived at age 44 totally accidentally. He's 11 now, his brothers and sister are in their 30's LOL.
Keep trying don't get disheartened. I would agree with some other posters who suggested some basic fertility tests to be sure no problems beside the age thing.
Good luckxx

I'm 19 weeks pregnant at 42. Conceived naturally within nine months. I'd say it's too early to be rushing to the doctor. Just keep having sex as often as possible.

Blu Fri 04-Oct-13 00:50:28

Hello fish6634, sorry to hear you were not lucky this time.

Pregnancy in the over 40s is very common - Cherie Blair, most of my NCT group (including me, I was 43) and loads of MN-ers. However, the crucial factor is not average stats or how many other people conceive, but whether YOU do.

Get advice from a Dr now - they may be able to help, and they may be able to give an indication of how likely a pregnancy is, so that you can plan and manage your expectations.

The very best of luck to you both.

tannyLoo72 Fri 04-Oct-13 08:33:12

I'm 41 and find it easy to get pregnant (sorry) but staying pregnant is the tricky bit. Our bodies are crazy things, and sometimes relaxing a bit, not trying too hard and enjoying each other can make all the difference.
I'm pregnant again (just) and I'll try to apply my own advice!
Good luck, and have fun!grin

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