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Pregnant (IVF) Worriers Part 3(1000 Posts)
This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!
Mariana- it wasn't the most pleasant experience but like I said, worked for me!
I was tempted to call it the the Yoni Worriers thread
dildals sorry about the set back, it is best to be cautious, sorry about the book from your friend, not the best time really
shazza oh I had a delightful experience in the pants department , on Thursday I was chucking up with great gusto that the force of the convulsion mad me wet myself a little, needless to say I never go out unless I am padded up
expat I bet the male sales assistant wouldn't know what it was for, you big day must be coming up fast, maybe it is dragging for you
vall it was quite a performance getting her out the flat with all her stuff, she will be totally foul after I have been away for the weekend, although I have organised visitors to keep her company do you have another scan coming up
mariana There was another thing about how to 'pleasure' yourself while pregnant sure when you couldn't reach that far you would just send 'him' to do it
noks honest judge it wasn't me, it was my evil twin
Still no 16 week appointment yet, shall call and
kick off inquire what is going on.
Thanks for starting the thread buzzy, I lurked and was too scared to do it! How are your symptoms at the moment, and sign of a respite yet?
Hi ll, am back from my jollies in Paris (disneyland though so please don't think I am one of those impressive cultured mums who does city breaks with a threenager). Had a lovely time although got back to find that my brother (25yo!) had a stroke...all well now and he is home but obviously upsetting, he had a huge brain injury that took a year of brain rehab to recover from 8yrs ago so it seems to be all related to that, poor thing, why is nothing ever simply good for long without something shitty happening?
dildals Bella is simply beautiful, she looks very serene in her picture!
shazzare tearing...I was terrified when I had dd1. I ended up being cut...at first I refused by but the consultant said 'better a small cut than a tear' (sorry if tmi!) and I just went with it by that point. I think the mws and docs know what they are doing and would avoid it...I didn't find the cut painful at all and I got stitched back up in minutes, and have had no problems since. I know this doesn't sound particularly reassuring but hope it helps...its not something I'm remotely worried about this time tbh. Mih offer DH the chance to massage me though and then show him the YouTube clips, hee, poor boy will be scarred for life!
expat I had a swaddle blanket for dd1 and loved it in the early days. I ended up just using normal blankets in the end but she did really like it. I used to do it fajita style...kind of start out with a diamond shaped blanket, fold the top bit down, put baby's head on the folded down bit, then fold in the left side, then fold the bottom up, then roll the right side over tightly and tuck it in somewhere? Sounds bad to say fajita wraps but DH knew what I meant instantly. I think ours was from boots or mother are but not sure if these places stretch to Belgium?
sweetie congrats on one of each. I really don't mind what ours are but I teach lots of b/g twins and they like having their own 'space' intoning their teenage years with different interests and sets of friends, but are still really close. Our scan is next week. One of our friends (dad to triplets, kudos!) told us a story about his friend who was having 'twins' but then gave birth to triplets....made me a bit. Am going to demand a head count if we get as far as our 20wk scan!
Boring news alert..after lots of moaning last week DH took me to mothercare and bought me new maternity jeans...their over the bump skinny jeans are the most lovely comfortable thing in the world! Shame I have no nice tops to go with them but I can't believe how pathetically happy a nice pair of trews has made me.
Hi to everyone else!!
Crisps, so sorry about your brother. He's so young! It must have been very frightening. I know exactly what you mean with fajita style.
Thanks for starting the thread Buzzy! Apart from popping in for a meeting next Tuesday I've finished work so it seems real now. I'm a mixture of denial, fear and excitement.
Crisp so sorry to hear about your brother that must have been scary for everyone
crisps so sorry to hear about your brother. It's so young to have that sort of thing happen to you. I hope he's on the mend now. Xx
dildals poor Bella. I really hope she's a bit better today. Have they said how long she will be in hospital for ? She's obviously a fighter and they had to err on the side of safety by stopping her feeds. Fingers crossed that it's only a temporary blip. Xx
vall wtAf is an epi-no ? marinara's hilarious reaction had made me very curious. I'll ask buzz to pop her dirty perving mac on and have a quick look and she can report back to the group. Is it to do with yoni preservation ? As yoni warriors, we have to do all we can to keep them all spick and span so we should perhaps order a job lot
shazz we are doing all the research we can to preserve your ahem Laydee Yoni so don't stress.
Hi to all you other lovely ladies.
Oh god, my friend had an epi-no (and still had a tear actually). She 'birthed' the epi-no every day and had to get up to 10cms. It was a bit TMI when she told me this.
Bella was LOTS better today, which is good, because I don't think I could have done another day of her crying her little kitten cry. She did lots of peaceful sleeping, that's how we like to see it! She's getting some proper food now too (as in, 7mls an hr of my milk, she's not on fish n chips yet).
noks they tell you to expect her to be in till term, so we have another 9 weeks of this ahead of us ... better not to think of it because I have no clue how I can keep this up for 9 weeks, so I just focus on day by day.
I also got a talking to from the lactation consultant. She told me that I am not producing enough milk, whereas I thought I was. I am meeting demand at the moment but apparently I should be producing between 700 - 800ml. At the moment I am rendering about half that. So she wants me to get my ass in to gear and step up to a 3hr feeding schedule. But seriously .. I don't know how I can do that and still remain un-zombie-like. I know that if I had a term baby at home I would be constantly breastfeeding, but being at your own home, with a real baby on the boob is a bit different to getting up in the middle of the night and hooking yourself up to a machine and then going in to hospital. My DH thinks it is crazy talk this 3hr schedule. You can also increase the expressing during the day time so that's what we decided on. I haven't got an issue with combined feeding as such, but she's still so teeny tiny that I don't want to have to introduce formula yet.
The lactation lady also said she wants to get Bella in to a routine as from next week to have her out of her incubator 3 times a day to have a little 'play around' my breasts. This involves introducing her to my breast, letting her have a little root around and lick some breast milk, my little kitten ;-). Babies only develop the sucking/breathing&swallowing reflex from wk34 onwards so she won't be able to BF, but this will imprint the breastfeeding behaviour as to prepare her for the 'real deal'. My friend has a kitten that's heavier than my baby, who has not put on ANY weight since birth and she wants to get her out 3 times a day?! I assume they know what they're doing! (I am sure they do). This also means I need to really be at the hospital all day, which is another thing I will need to manage. You really need to find a routine that works for you otherwise you end up in one of those straitjackets munching down on valium. Good thing I live so close to the hospital, so I can still go home inbetween and have lunch or have a nap & tune out. I have only just managed to banish the ICU alarms going off in my head when I go to sleep!
crisps that sucks, massively.
On another, related, note - this expressing business is making me ravenous! I am eating SO MUCH I think I am going to gain weight rather than lose it! I have already noticed my cheeks taking on a bit of a hamster shape ... oh dear ... Not helped by DH trying to feed me up so I can produce lots of milk! :-)
dildals so glad Bella had a good day, must have been a relief. I wasn't able to bf with dd1 so can't imagine what expressing all the time must feel like, I bet you are exhausted!
Brother is doing well thanks, it was a small stroke but still scary. Glad they have diagnosed his epilepsy though as they can now hopefully sort it all out. Off to Bristol to see him soon which will be nice.
Am off to google yoni now as I have no clue what that is....
Mariana's reaction had me curious too so I had to take a look. It's dedication a step too far for me.
Crisps - glad to hear your brother is improving. Scary stuff.
Ladies....the Epi-No was not that bad. I had to say I at your friend dildals. 10cm?! I, ahem, kept expelling it when it got to about 3-4cm...I like to think it was my pelvic floor muscles of steel. As I say, worked for me!
Dildals exciting news about getting Bella accustomed to the act of BF. I had heard it is notoriously hard to express the amount of milk that a baby would take from you naturally. I can understand the lactation consultant wanting you to express every 3 hours (as you would if BFing) but you are right, in that without the baby feeding it must be very hard. Plus, you don't know what her natural feeding patturn would be. DS was a snacker. He fed for 10 mins every hour or couple of hours (several hours at night) - clearly just his way. I had quite a strong letdown reflex though so I think I was probably waterboarding him in that time!
oh dildals I am so pleased that Bella is doing better today. The expressing sounds really tough - but surely if she's taking 7mls an hour then what you're producing is enough..? We are all willing her to grow grow grow, and she is such a little cutie. I think you're sensible to take each day at a time, otherwise it's overwhelming. Is your DH still off work with you as well? I hope you have support for you because it sounds like an immense schedule you have going on.
crisps I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's stroke - he's so young. Glad he's doing better, and hope you are ok.
expat when is your date?
I am getting in to the nhs system - have seen the MW, and have an appointment at the hospital for monday, which was very speedy and I'm impressed. I'll be 25+3 at my booking appointment! which is a bit odd, but I suppose they must have seen it all before.
so pleased to hear of all the good scans we've had on here recently.
Oh, I was pleased to read a meta-analysis that suggested very limited if any benefits from perineal massage, so I will be giving that a miss...
noks The buttons on my mac are straining around my expanding girth so don't stand too close as one might pop off and poke your eye out, it looks interesting, but I would worry about over inflating
keep glad you are back under the wing of the NHS
crisps i hope you are ok after your googling
didals glad to hear amazing little Bella is better
I went to my GP today, she told me I was taking one of my meds wrong she did give me more drugs though She also said you look and then filled her cheeks with air and put her hands up to each side of face her polite way of saying I looked fat, she then went onto say 'you look healthy' another way of saying you look fat, good job I like her
I also got to hold a month old baby I have now realised that I have no idea what to do with one . . .
Just popping in to say yoni: wtff?! Won't be googling that again...DH already thinks it slightly odd that I pop onto the iPad to check in with my online lady friends, if he saw me watching perineal massage vids and yoni websites think he may get concerned...
Glad you are getting booked in keep!
That should be known as the epi-how f'king much ?
Or the epi-that ain't coming anywhere near my yoni.
Anything you have to 'give birth to' apart from a child is just weird.
Sorry crisps. Mr Crisps will think you've joined some sort of virtual vagina kibbutz. We should have warned you that googling yoni could be a bit of an education.
buzz your GP is a bit cheeky isn't she ? You should have vomited in her lap.
dildals great news about Bella. I thnk you have made the right decision about trying to express during the day and not at night. You need to strike a bit of a balance and the Tit Man having a bit of a go isn't exactly the most sensitive thing to do. I hope she's had another good day today.
Hello keeps. Welcome back to the shit weather
Hello to everyone else. My here the blazes is shazza ?
Scan in the morning. 20 weeks. I am crapping it a bit. X
I mean where the blazes is shazza . Bloody big fat sausage fingers.
dildals sorry. I mean the Tit Woman.
Bejeezus, I am a proper clot today.
noks very exciting/scary about your 20 week scan, you are waiting till you pop it out to know what it is, yes she was a bit cheeky, couldn't manage a good chunder
buzzy thanks for starting a new thread. I think "yoni worriers" is a great name but it is trumped by noks "virtual vagina kibbutz". That just says it all. I don't understand your doctor's comment about your face, do you normally have quite a thin face? It seems a really weird thing to comment on.
And on the hot perineal massage topic, in the Bumpology book it says a study showed some reduction in risk if tearing, but it was small. Also you only have to do it from week 37 or so onwards and then there is no benefit to doing it more than once or twice a week. So shazza and DH can relax for now! Also I have read that when you are in labour you are flooded with hormones that relax everything incl your pelvic floor, so stretching it "cold" so to speak is v different.
Crisps v sorry about your brother- I really hope he recovers quickly. I had epilepsy when I was younger and u was not diagnosed for years so I know how hard that is. To have a stroke as well at a young age is so unfair.
dildals the expressing sounds exhausting. It is much easier with a real baby. I hope you're finding some ways to take care of yourself between trips to the hospital. I watched The Fall, it was a bit slow and the killer only had one facial expression the whole time. Also is his wife the stupidest woman on the planet or what?
Bella is a little sweetie! Such beautiful hair.
noks good luck with the scan tomorrow!
Still on holiday- some very slow walks and 2 hr naps daily. V restful.
Forgot to add, holiday v restful in part because DH has volunteered to sleep in another bed as the cottage only has a v small double bed. So I can actually move around as much as I like especially when I wake up hot and sweaty. dildals I think you said you were hot at night too. I now know it's not the weather because it's cool here, must be those hormones again.
at fairy's naps.
PMSL - just Googled Yoni. Other than being Sanskrit for vag it 'the word covers a range of meanings, including: place of birth, source, origin, spring, fountain, place of rest, repository, receptacle, seat, abode, home, lair, nest, stable'.
I am not sure if I am going to refer to my lady garden as my lair or my repository....
Nokkie - am so excited for you tomorrow!! Give Nokette a wave from us
Buzzy - I would have decked your GP - out of interest which meds were you taking incorrectly
paranoid I am doing something wrong
As far as meds go, what have your clinics told you all re: coming off them? For me, I come off everything (aspirin, oestrogen patches, progynova, gestone, cyclogest) at 12 weeks, weaning down the doses for a week before finishing at 13.
Cheers girls. I won't be finding out the flavour tomorrow. I just want to know everything is ok. The nipper is definitely wriggling about now. It's funny - it has really started to move over the last couple of days which is very reassuring.
I rather like the thought of my vag being a 'lair'. Not that it has snared anything lately
desperate old hag
fairy glad you are having nice hollibobs. I am well jel of your naps. I bloody love an afternoon nap.
noks good luck for tomorrow. I remember us being a sweary and shit-scared 6 weeks pregnant not so long ago, we've come a long way!
Virtual vagina kibbutz....awesome. My fb page is completely locked down as I am a teacher
and don't want the kids to find out how dull I really am so it would be a nice fb group to join...I'd live to see the look on any kids' face who managed to hack in!!
fairy I also have nap envy. We have a super king sized bed which makes me feel like a celeb off of MTV cribs as DH is 6ft 6 and has to sleep diagonally in anything else. I am appreciative of the bed at the moment! DH bought me one of those noting phallic sausage pregnancy pillows for a small fortune...fucking useless...great for the first few nights and then my big fat belly squished it into submission. Back to a normal pillow then!
shazza wherefore art thou? Give us a wave to let us know if you are lurking!
Oh and noks make sure you ask to be told when to look away if you don't want to find out....serial scanners like use are quite good at 'seeing' scans, and when I had DD her faloola was very easy to see on scans!
I didn't look away, crisps, and didn't see anything. Does that mean its a girl and/or I'm dense?!
Don't worry crisps I will make it very clear that if they show me my baby's foof or dangly bits, I shall karate chop them in the face.
We also have a superking bed, which is slightly ridiculous considering we have a two bed Victorian semi. Well, it was on offer and was the most fantastic purchase in the whole world
I've always wanted a bed that takes up the whole room.
But am sleeping on a lilo for another month
at least until we complete selling our house and can get our furniture back.......
Aha found you! I thought the epi
-not coming anywhere near my yoni no might have killed the thread! Loving the idea of my lady bits as a lair, although it's a long time since they've laired anything other than stray bits of anusol Will catch up propers later. Waves to all and big luffs to little Bella in particular and good luck noks tomorrow.
Ps meant to say fab news on the scan sweetie! Team pink and blue, how lovely.
keep although she is only taking small amounts of milk at the moment (comparatively), this is the time where, as an expressing mum, need to establish supply. So in the first few weeks after birth I need to make sure I have a supply that will cover her demands as a proper newborn. It is hard to increase supply afterwards. It is probably different if you have an actual newborn feeding, because then there is an actual supply demand cycle going, whereas here that natural link is broken.
RIGHT ladies. I have managed to create the FB group called The Yoni Warriors ... I have made it a 'secret' group, so we can only see who is a member, posts etc. I don't know whether it comes up on the search function of FB, considering I have made it secret, but if you PM me your email address I can invite you to the group.
I'm here ladies. All fine (thanks for looking out for me). I slept in the bus yesterday morning then was half way thru posting on way home and bro called then had Hypno. Any road up I'm here now and must confess <whispers> I'm skivving off. Well Ive been abit fed up this week and need a peaceful day just me n shazlett hanging out.
Crisps I'm so sorry to hear about your bro. It must be so worrying. I'm glad he is ok. I laughed outloud at your MTV cribs bed. Do you have leopard print and mirrors. Eek at the thought of triplets. I'm with you on the tight jeans. I was so uncomfortable yesterday which I think added to my misery during the day. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy some new ones. I'm upset that the pillow is crap. There was a sale the other day and I ordered one at nearly half price. I'm just waiting for it.
Dildals so happy our Bella is on the mend after the scare. The icu routine sounds gruelling. What do mums do who don't live nearby? Is there a room you can go and rest or just the expressing room? TED talks are brilliant. There are so many to recommend. Also TED radio hour podcasts are brilliant. They take a topic and snippets of 3 talks about that and chat to the speakers abit more.
Expat exciting to be buying final bits. I've bookmarked the star fleece. So cute. Now I have to decide on a colour. Maybe it will be the first thing I buy. Hurrah for finishing work.
Vall good plan to have a scan lined up. They are reassuring in the early days. I had 5 before week 12 for one reason or another. Yikes at the epi no. Like fairy and keep I've also been looking into p massage abit more and am confused about benefits. I'm inspired that it worked for you though. But maybe you would have had that result anyway? It's impossible to know.
Mariana I've spent the last 2 days working myself into a frenzy about the whole birth event. Tearing, pain, recovery all of it. I think that it was all the reading about childbirth freaked me out. Hypno calmed me down last night so I've decided that it is going to happen anyway so I may as well be positive about it and not focus on all that can go wrong. I was feeling worried that I would fail at Hypno and then feel guilty about having an assisted medicated birth knowing that it might affect me and shazlett. I was abit stuck between a rock and a hard place. But I've taken today to relax and potter and be calm and peaceful.
Buzzy fanks for the new 'fred. It took me a while of refreshing the old one to work out it was full! GP sounds well cheeky. At weeing!
Noks thinking of you and little nipper right now. I hope he is being good and posing for the camera. I had to google yoni. In my innocence I also didn't know what it was!
Keep welcome back into the NHS. Glad it is sorted.
Fairy am also jealous of holiday naps. I plan in having one this afternoon and being guilt free about it.
Hello to everyone else.
Thanks for the Fb group dildals. I'll get on in there in a sec. Looks like I'm going to have a very productive day! X
Oh shaz that's why I decided not to do hypno. If you need pain relief or assistance you will NOT have failed. Try and use the hypno but do not buy in to that bullshit. You can do what you'll do, and there's no right or wrong.
Good luck noks. Gosh I really feel we are all motoring through now!
I am very pleased to announce that the Nipper Rascal is absolutely fine. Thank GOD.
As you were.
Woo hop did you avoid spotting any bits?
Hurrah for the nipper rascal. So happy. Relax and enjoy the relief. Are you off work for the rest of the day?
Thanks keep. I think I got myself abit too well informed and started to imagine all sorts of scenarios. I want to use the Hypno to help but also remain open and flexible to what happens on the day. I'm still so nervous though. Fear of the unknown I suppose.
I'm loving my 'free' day. Just got myself into all sorts of contortions to have a bit off a tidy up of my lady garden.
We did avoid seeing any bits ! They had to send me out for a walk as the little bugger wouldn't have pictures of his brain and heart taken clearly at first. When we went back she saw them clearly and they were absolutely fine.
I am off for the rest of the day. However, the outlaws are descending so I am busy tidying-up which is VERY DULL INDEED. I'm going to meet my Ma later so am looking forward to that as the outlaws won't arrive from the badlands of the north till late tonight. I am sure i will have to bite my lip as I am compared to my perfect
boring SIL and at efforts to encourage me to get advice on baybees from her. Still, I have decided to take the 'Brian Cox' approach to life and smile sweetly at everything don't tell lies you angry, bitter old hag
shazz please please don't injure yourself tending to the lady yoni.
Oh Noks I also need help in avoiding 'advice' from SIL the earth mother. Did I tell you that the latest is that she told DP that it was irresponsible and DANGEROUS for us to have a home birth.
Have fun with your mum. Hurrah for keeping the sex of the nipper secret. Now we can have 4 months of speculating!
I'm proud to report that the lady garden is sort of tidyish.
I think we have a higher rate of not finding out the sex than most. I wonder if it's from having had so much knowledge that we like a surprise. That was true for me, I always thought I'd find out, till after the ivf worked.
MW appt went well. She didn't balk at our hall full of boxes, and I heard the lovely HB
shaz you mentioned that when we met-up. It's irresponsible of her to open her big trap and say that sort of nonsense, in my view. Honestly, anyone would think that you were wandering by yourself into the fecking bush to give birth by the big oak tree. You're having a home birth, it's not that bloody 'woo'.
In an effort to cheer you up, I am making a special award.
Drum roll, please........
And the inaugural Yoscar (Oscar for Yoni's) goes to........Shazza. For having a beautifully tidy and well manicured Yoni Garden.
The next Yoscar award will be for the best foof in a 'topiary' style design.
apparently the smart money is on buzz for this one
keep yay for hearing the heartbeat. I agree with the surprise theory. I now know more than I ever cared to about my innards. It's nice that some things are still a surprise.
This just popped up on Active and I can't believe how many familiar names there are here.
Dildals I've just seen your news. Bella is incredibly beautiful. I hope she will be home with you soon. I just shed a tear for Georgia. What an incredible rollercoaster for you.
Good luck to you all. I hope I will be joining you one day!
euro ! We are all willing you to join us here very soon. What news from the eurofoof ? Are you onto your next cycle ?
euro!!! Hope you are OK. Are you doing another natural cycle? Masses of good luck, can't wait for you to join us too
PS I often see your invariably sensible replies on some crazy threads and it makes me smile. They just annoy me
I'm thrilled with my yoscar. Thank you. It has pride of place in my newly painted lounge. I'd like to thank my bump for not being too big and firm that I can't hold it back to get to those awkward areas, darling DP who will think that tonight is Christmas Eve if I can keep my eyes open long enough to look alluring , Noks for setting up the awards and all the girls who voted for me.
I choked at the aside for buzzy
Euro we are very active over here! Lovely to see you. How is it going? Loads of luck for your new cycle. We're keeping your seat warm over here ready for you.
Well done for the appt keep. Good news. Did you get bounty at your booking appt? I've never gotten over the fact that dildals and someone else i think got free stuff and I didn't get so much as a 10% off voucher.
Am loving skivving. Just had a nap X
Thanks all. Yes, it's another natural cycle. IVF#3. EC tomorrow. Here we go again... I've had hypnotherapy so hopefully I will be able to get through it without streaking out of the clinic in my hospital gown...
This is a lovely thread. I hope I get to join you for real one day. It's so encouraging to see so many of you on the other side of the IVF fence.
keep yay to heartbeats
noks grabs yoni award with both hands, my fooof has indeed been poofed up recently, although the more you trim the quicker it grows, have yet to introduce Barry to my weedwacker
I admire anyone who can wait until they pop it out, I am so imaptient
shazza at stupid sil you need to be polite and assertive when you tell her that you are an intelligent woman and do not need advice, that this is YOUR baby and you and your partner will know what is best, if she carries on then let her have her say then follow up with now we have finished discussing my parenting skills lets talk about about yours or the lack of
euro good luck for this cycle and we shall see you in a couple of weeks on here
oh feck I was fiddling with my work computer and now my m is a 0 so now I can't log on
Thought the Epi-Noooooooo! had killed the thread.
(ps good scan news noks)
Nope, no free stuff here either shaz.
I admit I didn't really put in much effort for the Yoscar. I think shaz a worthy winner. Maybe next year.
euro all the best for tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be easier knowing what to expect.
Good luck euro. Fingers crossed for you for tomorrow.
Thanks for the supportive words buzz. If I need a face off with SIL you can be my wing woman
Glad you found us Mariana. Who would give us the answers to all our questions? How is trenchlet doing?
Dildals any news from your camp? How is the daytime expressing going?
Oh well keep. At least you've got a good MW and heads the HB. That is so exciting.
Oh good luck euro. I will be cheering you on from the sidelines like a deranged soccer mum on a gin drip. I will
stalk follow your progress on MN. Here, have a manly hug, hair ruffle and a gentle poke in the kidneys.
buzz heehee foof bushwhacker. I want one of those.
mariana hello ! Welcome to Vag Land.
shazza any more from the earth mother and we will nut her.
keep what will you do if we have an impromptu Yoni inspection ? Standards, darling
I'm on my own here laughing my head off!
Ooh I didn't know there could be unannounced inspections! Aaaaargh I am a failure. I have not prioritised yoni maintenance to the required degree.
I could give Shazza a run for her money. My lady garden is immaculate thanks to exceptional bendy skills and a mirror.
My star flleece arrived yesterday and I'm really happy with it. It's a lovely shade of green, looks big enough to last a long time and I can just imagine a cute bundle all cosy inside it. In just two weeks I'll be trying it out!!
Shazza, how totally unhelpful of your sil. I don't want to nut her - it's too close to my earth mother photo shoot, but am happy to hold her down while Nokkie does the deed. Regardless of what happens during the birth your hypno course will be really useful. We spent quite a long time focussing on that calm and relaxed is super helpful for baby and us.
Dildals, I welled up at 'little kitten'. It sounds like a really lovely way to get closer to each other.
Good news about your scan Nokkie.
Keep, lovely that you heard the heartbeat. It's true that quite a lot of us want a surprise. Maybe something to do with the totally unromantic way we got pregnant.
Not sure what to make of your GP Buzzy. It probably is luck that you like her.
My DH is the same height Crisps and we have a similar size bed. Love it!
keep give me twenty and when you're done, get yourself to Foof School.
shazza expat and buzz can go to the after Yoscar party to mingle with the stars.
God I'm such a tyrant.
shazza I'm happy to be your wing woman, its on thing to ask for advice its another to have someone preach to you about it.
expat My GP is Polish and had IVF herself, I think perhaps its a Kiwi/Polish communication breakdown I have actually knitted a blanket, not sure how practical it will be.
nok I hope you had a lovely time with your mum, ready for the outlaws
well I have an appointment next week, which is good as i'm having a bit of a wobble as I feel better and my boobs don't seem to hurt so much, I know I know its the drugs that I am taking correctly . . .
Also buzz you'll just be starting to 'bloom'. My bobs have got much less painful.
Crisps, awful news about your brother. I hope the fact that he's young means that he makes a good recovery.
buzzy, personally speaking I was so anxious by the time I couldn't reach my yoni that pleasuring myself was the last thing on my mind. Maybe that was one of the problems? Stop wobbling and bloom!
Fajita style swaddling is exactly the right description. The Grobag wraps are just a blanket with a bottom flap.
expat, so close! Finishing work is great though. Hope you're putting your feet up.
dildals, every three hours round the clock is tough, as you say, without the actual baby there to motivate you. I hope you can get your supply up by extra daytime pumping. You do need extra calories though so don't fret about your weight. You'll lose it easily later on when she's bigger and taking loads from you. Aw at your little kitten though. The skin to skin contact is very special and must feel especially natural for you and her when everything else is so clinical.
vallinna, I will take your word for it about the epi~argh. I'm flad it worked for you after all that. You'd be well pissed off if it didn't! I laughed at your water boarding let down. I get that sometimes and Trenchlet spits it all back at me in disgust.
keep I read that meta analysis too, with an air of relief. I had a huge episiotomy, didn't feel it at the time thanks to an epidural and the recovery was tough but it healed absolutely fine. It doesn't have to leave lasting damage, it's just that people always tell you the horror stories.
fairy naps and solo sleeping sound ideal. Hope you're having a good time.
Vagina Kibbutz sounds like a stage name.
Shazza please don't worry yourself. At the time you won't care and anyway, we won't let you punish yourself if you do use drugs etc. Nobody knows what any individual birth will be like and how they will react to it. Tearing and being cut sound well more dramatic and awful than they are.
Noks I automatically loathe anyone who I'm supposed to get advice from. Especially about baybees. Just nod and smile and say 'that's interesting I'll look into it.' Unless she's talking about her yoni...
Congrats on the lady gardening. I'll share a strange fact. I tended to mine ages ago and it's stayed tended much longer than it would normally. I think breast feeding inhibits hair growth. Except my legs still need doing as frequently. Oh I don't know. Maybe my poor yoni has just given up? No yoscars here though, perhaps mine could feature in the montage of yonis that have recently died?
Good luck euro.
Phew. Caught up.
As for me, I'm spending hours feeding Trenchlet (I am back on the Lansinoh as my nips are killing me through wear and tear!)
It's DD1's bday at the weekend. Yesterday she requested a 'yellow Tinkerbell cake.' I've totally cheated and bought a ready iced one and a plastic model of Tinkerbell (who looks like a porn star). I will paint the cake yellow with food colouring, scatter gold dust cake decorating stuff all over it, write her name and age with prebought writing icing and whack some candles in. This is a very poor show but I just haven't got time to make and ice one from scratch this year. Praise be to Dr Oetker. Whoever he was. Oh and I've also committed to making 30 gingerbread men for a party on Saturday. Gah.
<attacks yoni topiary with a razor, just so she doesn't feel left out>
You've all been making me laff a lot! I tend to the old bush before any medical appointments, as the ivf has made me convinced I need to get it out whenever I see a dr!
shazz love that you had a day off to tend your yoni garden Seriously though it sounds like you needed a rest. I've been feeling uncomfortable even in my maternity clothes, so have just ordered a load on mat tents online. Had to take my tights off half way through today as they were slicing into me and making the ginster kick a lot!
Hurrah for a good scan noks! And well done on not seeing any rudey bits.
expat you are sooooo near now. It's v exciting. Hope you are feeling ok.
buzz I too reckon you have hit the blooming stage and that could explain the feeling better. You should feel movement soonish, which will hopefully give you some reassurance. I have started to feel sick again tho, boo, normally early evening. V odd.
keep that's fab that your heard the HB. Are you now fully in the NHS system?
crisps hope your brother is now ok. I bloody wish we had a super king bed (even if it would take up the whole bedroom). With the huge phallic pillow
closest thing I get to a shag these days my preggo sausage thighs and DH, there's now no room.
fairy hope you're having a fab holiday.
didals hope Bella is still doing ok today. Things must be so incredibly stressful and I totally understand what you mean about not knowing what's a serious issue and what isn't. No one prepares us for a premature baby and it must all be v hard. It sounds like you are doing amazingly though and taking a day at a time.
I'll PM you my email. Looking forward to meeting some of you in t'other place.
euro hello! And massive good lucks for tomorrow lovely.
Well I had a good read of my preggo notes yesterday and realised that the fibroid is just 5mm not cm, as I thought the dr had said! That means it's not grown at all... D'oh.
I also had a really good read of the pre eclampsia website and bought myself some protein detector piss sticks and a blood pressure monitor. I know they're not clinically reliable, but have given me some much needed peace of mind re the blood flow issue.
Do I win the yoscar for being the most neurotic about my yoni / starting my own ante natal clinic chez moi?! Or are they only allowed for non mental behaviour?!
X post mariana, I'm v impressed at the cake decorating and baking plans! Porn star Tinkebell did make me laugh though.
I lost you all. I will have to read back to catch up on all the gossip although Foof school and lady gardening have caught my eye.
Her skirt's so short you can almost see her yoni. The whore.
Ginestas that truly is your own clinic. well done!
Regarding getting it out to all and sundry. I had a breast lump recently (nothing scary but i wanted it rechecked) and the GP was all apologetic that he'd have to cop a feel before referring me. I explained to him that when you'd had as many internal exams as I had then a breast examination was like a polite handshake. He looked a bit scared.
Heee mariana. Reminds me of the time I walked into gynae consultants room and fully stripped from the waist down before she turned around and told me 'no examination today, just a quick appointment'. I wasn't even embarrassed!gin I'm ashamed to say I don't make a special effort for doctors, assuming everything is a normal level of tidy. Given the stories my dH tells me about boob cheese on his patients (bleurgh) I think a little summer growth is nothing to worry about!
No chance of a yoscar here but I am getting better at lady gardening, although it is now mostly from memory as the bump means I can no longer see yoni and have to just have faith that it is still there! I use cocoa butter on the bump and it makes me smell like chocolate cake at bedtime, yum!
Our bedroom is nowhere near MTV cribs...the bed takes up most of it and everything else is very dull white ikea stuff! Dd1s room is lovely but we are quite boring otherwise, I'd love to have shazza's pils come round and spruce me up!
euro good luck! Hope everything works out for you.
mariana tinkerbell is a right tease, have you seen the film? She has a normal leaf dress like the rest of the tinkers but she rips the bottom off to make her own slutty version. It reminds me of doing morning duty at school every week, making all the pretty thin 15 year old students roll their skirts down and wipe their make up off with baby wipes...I bet they hate me!
Hooray for hbs keep. Glad you are fully nhsed up now, must be a relief.
noks glad scan was ok. Husband scans hearts for a living so he can read them really well, and I've had literally hundreds of scans since being diagnosed a few years ago so I'm pretty good too, maybe this is why we could see dd1s faloola so well. I've never seen boy bits on a scan though so not sure how obvious they are...maybe I'll find out next week!
Bro is good thanks...we did an epic 8hr round trip to see him in Bristol today and he is better than expected.
buzzy really hope things will get better for you now!
Have I seen the film? Ooh only about 585,345 times...
Hello all, just wondering if I can join you?
I have been lurking for weeks, but not felt ready to say hello until now. I am currently 9+4 following DE IVF. It was my first go, so feel very lucky it was a success. I'm 41, and had a mmc in 2008 detected at the 12 week scan (baby measured 10+3), which has unfortunately made my first few weeks of this pregnancy full of anxiety and fear. This has not been helped by a distinct lack of pg symptoms, apart from serious tiredness. I had a scan on Monday though at 9 weeks and everything was as it should be, and I saw the arms and legs wiggling, which was delightful, so I feel a bit more confident now.
I have been following the trials and tribulations and Yoni ramblings with all the appropriate and diverse emotions. I am friends with fairy IRL and remember buzzy and crisps and nokkie from the egg buddies thread.
Hi motor and welcome! Congratulations on your scan, its a major milestone that one. You know fairy? Cool!
I'm 25 weeks preg, also from first ivf.
Hi motor so glad to see you here on this thread! And a good reassuring scan as well. All will be fine. Hope the "I'm pregnant" reality is starting to sink in.
buzzy the face comment makes more sense now I know your GP is Polish. She prob genuinely meant you look well and blooming.
gin I could certainly shop at "maternitytentsonline.co.uk". Anything even remotely tight drives me crazy. I'm not looking forward to Sept when the weather changes and I have to look vaguely professional.
*crisps" what the hell is "boob cheese"? Glad your bro is doing better.
I don't want to know what boob cheese is... bleugh.
Just had a mad moment of eating a bowl of ice cream and lying on the kitchen floor to feel the baby move. Feel really stupid now but for a few minutes I was convinced it's all over. These last weeks are nerve wracking. I have an check up on Monday and am tempted to ask him to whip it out there and then!
Congratulations Motor and welcome!
Oh al you're so nearly there. Remember Mariana towards the end. Mentalling like crazy ;) Just normal.
Some people in a&e so fat they can lose remote controls in their folds... Imagine their skin cheese. Vom.
Hahaha at lost remote controls.
Oh Al many sympathies, I remember it all so clearly. It's awful, the mentalling really doesn't stop. Just take it a day at a time and don't prod the poor baby too much to keep it moving
like I did.
Welcome motorcycle, congrats on the scan, it's a huge hurdle. Really!
Oh my goodness, ladies I love you all. you are bloody brilliant. I am sitting at home (working this time ) jiggling shazlett up and down laughing so much.
Motor, welcome, I'm glad you finally said hello. All our ramblings must make some reading from afar! I'm 27+2 after finding out that I was pg naturally during down regulation. Sounds like you are doing well. It is a hurdle especially if you experienced a loss, I'm sorry about that. Feel free to worry and mental here. You are in good company and it does get better I promise.
Expat, I'm sorry you had a 'moment'. You don't need to wobble now. You are so close and the babba is fine. You are next up and we are all waiting with bated breath to see if one of us is going to make it blue! Oh by the way, I'm impressed with the mirror work. I tried that yesterday but couldn't get co-ordinated doing it all in reverse. It was easier to hoik the bump out of the way and double over. Thank goodness for the yoga, it is paying dividends in ways I wouldn't expect.
Buzzy, I'm sorry you are wobbly too. Are you feeling better today? You are getting out of the tricky sicky stage and into feeling much better so don't worry. These few weeks are odd though cause you don't have a scan, can't quite feel the baby yet (although when you do feel it you realise that you have been feeling it for a while and just didn't know that it was baby rather than farts!) and you haven't got a bump to speak off. Stick with it sweetie. I have also crocheted shazlett a blanket. I did it whilst prepping for treatment to keep my mind occupied. It is lovely soft cashmere but like you, not sure how practical it will be once it has baby sick all over it.
Mariana I laughed so much at your breast handshake . Porn tinkerbell sounds like a great role model (not!) I am experiencing the restricted hair growth phenomenon but on my legs, sadly not my yoni hence the gardening yesterday. Sorry about the sore nips Ouch. And thanks for the tearing reassurance. Like Gin, I have visions of ripping and ending up with one big hole down there. It is all fear of the unknown. These things are never as bad as our imagination.
Gin, i'm with you with the uncomfy mat clothes. My jeans aren't over the bump ones and now drag the bump down as they fall down during the day. I'm going to end up like those boys you see with the crotch round their knees if I'm not careful. I feel a trip to Maman JoJo Bebe in Balham coming on tomorrow morning. I hope that their sale is still on. I'm glad about the fibroid, very reassuring. And am impressed with the home ante-natal clinic. Given that I live so close, I'll be round. Have you got ultrasound equipment yet?
Crisps, again howls of laughter reverberating around the Hood about your appolntment. Classic. What on earth is boob cheese? Glad that your bro is on the mend. Great that he lives in Bristol. I love Bristol, that is where we are thinking of moving to. You have reminded me what it was to be a 15 year old girl changing my shoes at the top of the alley because it was raining and my mum tried to make me wear wellingtons (I mean really!) to school. Of course now I'd be happy to wear wellies. Who wants wet feet all day? . Oh God, we have this to look forward to don't we? our DDs will be 15 before we know it.
Keep losing the remotes is hilarious. Now when I lose mine, the first place I'll look is under the bump! That is my most inaccessible spot at the moment. That and the foof but if the remote is in there then that is another story ;-)
Does anyone else use the app by any chance? It keeps throwing me out when I try to access this new thread. It is happening on the phone and ipad. I can access the old thread and any others but not this one. I've even tried deleting and reinstalling it but to no avail.
shazza I don't have a problem with the app on my phone, I gott a pair of over the bump jeans and love them
mariana well done on the baking front, tinkerbell has always been a little minx
al no advice on the wobble front, but you have come so far and so near the end
crisp I would google boob cheese but I am on a train north
motor welcome to the group, I can totally relate to your fears in the first trimester after a miscarriage, as you can see the worry doesn't end there, but there is no reason to think this won't work for you do you have another scan booked
well as I said i'm on a train up north to see Barry, talk about a pain in the arse, its 3 trains and a tube ride away, I have also eaten the flapjack I got for him
I have caught up on the shenanigans this morning.
Motor congratulations on your BFP and scan. The worry doesn't go away I don't think but join us to vent and share on here. I am 20 weeks with twins from my first DE IVF.
Dildals so sorry little Bella had a set back but on your more recent post she seems to be doing well and taking your milk again which is great news. I do feel for you having to establish milk flow through expressing, I can imagine it is very tough but hope it is going ok.
Mariana thanks so much on the names front, we are making progress. The cake for DD sounds amazing, I am sure a done up version of a shop bought was great. Pornstar Tinkerbell sounds interesting too
My star fleeces arrived this morning, much excitement, Shazza I went for Heather and Denim colours and both are lovely. They look quite roomy for newborns but I am sure they will grow into them.
I did some drastic lady gardening the other day. I thought while I can still reach I would get stuck in and sort it out. Not really sure how it will be tackled when I get much bigger and there is no way I will be asking DH for his help.
<tries to ignore all references to boob cheese and not Google>
mariana you're bloody hilarious. I was absolutely pissing myself laughing on the way home last night reading your posts. I love the fact that you have totally pimped a cake. And not just any cake. It's a proper bona fide trollop cake too. What next ? Barbie with her boobs out ? Pocahontas staggering about flipping everyone the bird ? I am spotting a theme here and I rather like it.
Hi motor ! I know it's a bit fraught at the moment but stick with it and as each day passes, it will hopefully get a bit easier.
al nearly there hun ! It's fab that you're next and will have a real life baybee to play with !
buzz have you met Barry yet ?
I had a lovely evening with ma. The outlaws are great and I have decided to be zen about the constant 'SIL does this with the baby' references because they do mean well. However, ask me on Sunday when they leave to see if I say the same thing.....
Hi to everyone else. I cannot go back a page so sorry for the other messages so sorry for no more personals. Xx
Buzzy, at least you will see Barry at the end of the epic journey. I hope that it goes quickly and that you have more than a flapjack with you to eat :-)
Sweetie, I'm jealous of the names. I will pm Mariana tout suite to get input from the expert! I'm definitely going to get a cosy star. I'll look up those colours. I want something nice and gender neutral.
My hypno teacher sent me this link to watch a video
It is quite inspiring if you are trying hypnobirthing or not.
we cross posted Noks. Glad you had a good evening in the end. Most people mean well with the advice. You are right to remain zen I'll give it a go!
Buzzy, three trains from London?
looks out of window suspiciously
Cake pimping is exactly it noks. It looks great, especially as I cannot do royal icing to save my life. It's an M&S cake with some innocuous flowers and a ladybird on it. I've aded pearls, glitter, candles and that strumpet Tinkerbell. DD1 will love it. This is my Top Tip of the day. If you can't make it fake it! (Sadly my 30 (30 ffs!) gingerbread men look like voodoo dolls after I let DD1 decorate them.)
Anyway, remain zen. Life is far easier when you are friends with your in laws. My mil cannot stop shopping and as I am nice to her she sends me
often eyewatering clothes for the girls all the time.
Hi sweetie happy to help
and interfere. Shazz just pm me for a name consultation. It genuinely keeps me from falling asleep during night feeds.
Hope al is feeling calmer.
DD1 is wearing the cooking instructions sticker from a pizza on her chest and is feeding me those silver ball cake decorations as I sit on the sofa drinking lager and writing this. We are truly the modern day Madonna and Child.
Thanks for the warm welcome.
I had my booking appt today which mercifully took 15 minutes, rather than the hour they told me to put aside. All well apart from blood pressure 80/60, which at least goes some way to explain why I've been feeling breathless so easily.
mariana I am so enjoying your amusing tales of domestic bliss.
Hi motor, welcome to the dark side, it's ace to have you here! The first few weeks are rubbish. It it really does feel like yesterday for me..I am 20 weeks today believe it or now! I think getting in to double figures helped me. Have you had any symptoms at all?
Boob cheese is probably not googlable...DH is in cardiology
and far cleverer and lovelier than me! and so has to look at lots of boobs when doing surgery and checks and so on. Boob cheese is basically what you would get it you had sizeable boobies and never washed...basically like a creamy smellyness in your underboob. Apologies to anyone eating while reading this! dH says that some of the lesser washed folk he deals with have this..not in a disrespectful way to his patients, just in judgement of the ones who are fully capable of washing but don't, yuk. It makes me give my 30ks a good scrub every day in fear, yick!
Hello to all on the fb group...took me a while to figure out who you all are! noks we are sweary pregnancy first name buddies!
Off out for a drink with my friend now, assuming I can wedge my fat arse into the car and don't fall asleep in the pub that is...
yes have made it to shropshire, very quiet up here, I haven't mentioned the flapjack
Shropshire? That's well southern! (Glad you've made it).
I suspected boob cheese would be something like that, crisps. Breastfeeding with a spitty baby requires vigilance, I get through hundreds of flannels.
motorcyclemama, I have low BP and it sucks, especially in pregnancy. Just have to be thankful it's not high.
Yo! I have to just do a me-me-me post! The lactation lady came round today and found Bella alert n awake and decided to seize the moment. So we got her out and on the boob, just to see what she would do and get her used to BF behaviour. She's not expected to really BF at this tender age. But she did really well!!! We put her in the right position (more to it than I thought!), she started opening her mouth wide (although a few of those were just yawns that we still took advantage of) and we shoved her on the boob! And she started sucking like a right little 'un. At which point I pulled her off, OUCH. Until I realised this is what it supposed to feel like! I hand expressed a few droplets for her to have a go at and she got a few good sucking sessions in. SO FUNNY! She does pull a bit of a face like 'Your nipple is too big mummy, you are cramping my style here', but she can pull away herself if it gets too much. There's only one problem ... she has a few looks where she is the spitting image of my mum ... I was basically breastfeeding my mum which, let's face it, is a bit weird! (I'll get over it though, my mum thought it was hilarious. I wonder what Freud has to say about this though).
Dildals that is amazing progress. Does Bella continue to have boob sessions? Lovely that she has a look of your DM even if the circumstances are freaking you out a bit.
How do I get added to the fb group?
dildals well done little Bella
mariana its a 4 hour journey, I thought i'd be furthe north of here, but this is most northern i've been for about 4 years
sweetie The plan is to repeat this every couple of days whenever we feel she's alert and giving cues about wanting a bit of boob time (rooting, sucking on hand, sticking out tongue, that kind a stuff). I AM WELL EXCITED!
You can get added to the group on FB if you PM me your email address then I can send you an invite to join!
Hahaha at breastfeeding your mum! I can't believe you told your mum too. Freud would explode with delight.
That's absolutely brilliant though Dildals. Obviously nobody's told her she's not supposed to know how to do that yet. Yes it does really, really hurt at first. Especially if the baby has a little mouth as then they can't get your nipple far enough back in their mouth so they are squashing it against their hard palate instead of their soft palate. The good news is you get used to it. Great stuff though, well done Bella!
Fantastic news re Bella's bf progress dildals. I am left with rather disturbing images of breastfeeding my mum though! I'll have to make sure it's not the last thing I think of before I go to sleep.
Wow crisps - 20 weeks! Hope you managed to stay awake in the pub. I fell asleep after work and didn't wake up until 9. I would say that is the main symptom I have - so tired all the time. And tender breasts with dark blue veins running over them. Other than that, very occasional mild nausea and some dizziness.
mariana I fancy the low BP could allow me to elicit sympathy by coming over all dizzy at opportune moments maybe? And yes, very pleased it is low, rather than high.
Sorry, me again. Last week I had 3 days of period- type pain with light spotting (brown). I was worried so called EPU who called me in for a reassurance scan on Monday. All was good - baby right size, good heart beat. Once again today, I have period- type pains and spotting again. I am trying not to panic. Did any of you have similar experience? Luckily I only have to wait until Wednesday for another scan (10+2), but 5 days could feel very long if this continues.
First off, try not to panic. Once youve seen a good heartbeat your mc chances drop to about 5%. Furthermore about 20% of women experience some bleeding in pregnancy and less than a quarter of this group miscarry. The odds are very much in your favour. I've had bleeding of the bright red and brown types in both my successful pregnancies. Both early on too, before 12 weeks.
Can I offer my usual explanation / suggestion which is cervical erosion? Very common in pregnancy, the cervix is becomes sensitive and easily grazed and seeps a bit of blood that is usually brown by the time you see it. Can be triggered by sex, exercise, even constipation or nothing at all. It can only be diagnosed by a visual examination but your GP can do this.
Unless you're getting lots of bright red blood and really painful cramps it's unlikely to be a miscarriage.
You could go back to the EPU on Monday and have an earlier scan. Distract yourself by keeping busy, it's hard but better than sitting fretting. Hang in there!
motor lots of us had persistent spotting in the first trimester. Most of the time it has been due to implantation (the placenta implants at the end of the 1st trimester) or a haematoma or is unexplained. Cramping, if not severe, is everything stretching. I would have thought that if you saw the bubby a few days ago and it looked fine, if something had gone wrong now with it rather than one of the more innocuous reasons you would be having heavy bleeding and severe cramping. I know it's very nervewracking but try to think that it is much more likely to be nothing to worry about.
Your BP was 80 over 60? That is extremely low! I normally have quite low BP and when I was at the midwife a couple of weeks' ago it was 92/64 but still not that low. Good excuse to eat lots of salty crisps. I do find I get a worse headrush than normal when standing up these days. I guess it's the extra blood volume. As you say it's also a great excuse to swoon when confronted with a disagreeable task, like the washing up.
dildals it's wonderful that Bella is becoming able to interact with you in those ways. Your description of her is so delightful too - although if I thought I was BFing my mum I would be a bit freaked out too! And mariana's right, BFing does hurt at first, especially when the milk lets down. But it doesn't last long and the sleepy joyful look they get when they are filled up with milk is (IMHO at least!) totally worth it. We used to say DS was 'munted on milk'.
mariana such a touching mother and daughter scene you describe! Like a page right out of the Boden catalogue.
Whoever linked to the tuppenceandcrumble site with the star wraps thank you! I am too lazy to flip back to see who it was. They look so cute and practical I am definitely getting one. I just can't decide on a colour.
Someone also posted about the study reported on the BBC that gestation actually naturally varies up to 5 weeks. I also thought that was really interesting and made sense - why would gestation, unlike any other sequence of human development, vary so little in terms of length? Maybe it will help inform decisions to induce although it does make it a lot more unpredictable.
I've started having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, particularly at night. It's kind of nice in a way as it reminds me that the end is in sight. And like you, expat if I don't feel the baby moving I start worrying until she wakes up and starts rummaging again. I'm trying not to get too hung up about it, it's so subjective whether it seems as though there is a change in her pattern of movement or not. She seems to move a lot first thing, then again mid-afternoon and then again in the evening but it really depends on what I'm doing as to how much I notice it. Really not long for you now though!
Sorry guys. Not read through. Had a private scan today at 9 weeks and there was no heartbeat. Beyond devastated.
Straight round to EPU which wasn't open but the gynae on duty got me all signed in and processed anyway. ERPC on Tuesday. I had been so relaxed this pregnancy I can't see how I can emotionally get here again at the moment.
Good luck to you all x
vall I am so sorry, its heartbreaking, big hugs
motor I had lots of spotting and bleeding in my first trimester and had lots of scans to reassure me
oh vallinna I am so sorry. How devastating, my heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself. x
vall how devastatingly awful, my heart goes out to you. I hope you are ok and managing to take good care of yourself. How awful to have to wait for a while too. Don't worry about the future yet, just look after yourself and deal with this one day at a time.
motor if you feel stressed, go and ask for a scan on Monday,
It is better than driving yourself nuts worrying at home, people who have been through our journeys need more reassurance than most!
fairy Brixton hicks sound exciting! I know what you mean by the munted on milk look...at night dd1 would look like someone out of trainspotting after a nice long feed, cute in a strange way!
Manages to stay in the pub until 9.30 last night, bf was most impressed! Was shattered but very lovely to be out again, even if it was only up the road. Was amazed to see three other pregnant ladies all dolled up in heels and full makeup out with their gaggle of friends...wasnt sure whether to be impressed or horrified. am only 31 but felt very old! Slippers and a cup of tea and emmerdale in the evening is my rock and roll at the moment, Def not up for skintight all in ones and leopard print heels yet...
dildals Bella sounds like an absolute trooper, I always thought she would have gusto and spirit! Must be odd seeing your mums face but that is cute in a way! I bet the nurses are really impressed with her progress, she's getting so old already! Have never bf so am reading all these posts with interest...going to give it a bash this time I think although will probably have formula on standby in case I can't manage.
Have just done a mammoth ikea/next/b and q haul this morning, two car loads of furniture and paint for DDs new room. Still can't bring ourselves to buy anything for the babies yet but decorating DDs new room (the twins are having hers as it is bigger) is kind of like secretly preparing. It is going to be pink, and I am coming to terms with the fact that despite DH and I being all alternative and monochrome we have produced a pink princess. I blame slutty tinkerbell and her whorebag princess pals. At Disneyland sleeping beauty was definitely working it with the dads and doing flirty eyes, the dutty cat...
Vall I'm so awfully sorry. It's heartbreaking. I hope you can take to bed or do whatever you need to do at the moment. Lots of love to you. X
Vallinna I'm so so sorry. How incredibly sad. How awful to have to wait for treatment. Don't think about next steps just yet - give yourselves some time off to grieve. Best wishes. x
Motor, I echo Crisps. Don't make yourself wait 5 days. If you're anxious go in asap. As you had your mc at roughly the same time your anxiety levels must be sky high at the moment, so give yourself a break.
Thank you everyone for being so kind in overlooking that I'm a crazy lady. I'm feeling a lot better today and just had a long catch up with my bf in the UK so things are good.
A big wow at your Wunderkind Bella, Dildals. I'm sorry it hurt but big LOL at breastfeeding your mum!
Fairy I posted the link to the star fleeces and received my green one a few days ago. I'm really happy with it. The colour is really clear and they're a good size - will last a long time. I like the fact there are no fasteners so baby can go in and out without a lot of fiddling when sleepy and if overheating the sides can be folded back. Can't wait for baby to be in the sling dressed in it!
I salute you at staying out until 9.30 Crisps. Congrats! It's good to get out of the pregnant world sometimes.
Marina I'm with you on the faking thing. I also consider it my duty to make sure the local patisserie doesn't go out of business.
vall I am so, so sorry - truly heartbreaking. I've been there and I know the pain. Cocoon yourself and be looked after through the process. X
Thanks to you all for the reassurances. I got the impression that I was lucky to get a scan on Monday, so I think I'll have to wait for my private one on Wednesday. If anything gets worse, I'll re- think. The spotting is very light and brown, so I'll just try to imagine it being part of a healthy process.
Oh my goodness Vall I'm so sorry. Beyond words. I can't believe it. Take care of yourself honey. Sending you loads of hugs and best wishes. Xxx
Hello to everyone else. I'm back with the app. Mumsnet towers sorted me out.
Dildals lovely clever bella. How exciting.
Motor I hope you feel reassured. I had loads of stretching and felt unbelievably tired. More than I ever had in my life.
Vallinna I am so sorry. Try not to think too far ahead and just deal with what you need to in the immediate.
fairy, likewise, we say she's 'smacked up on milk'. It's hilariously lovely when they start feeding and their eyes are rolling back in their heads from the sheer joy of milk.
Oh dear vallina that's horrible. Be kind to yourself the next couple of days/weeks. xx
I'm so so sorry vall. I can't imagine how you must be feeling and am gutted on your behalf. Look after yourself over the next few days x
dildals that is amazing that Bella had a bit of a suck. Go Bella! She'll be chomping down the milk before you know it.
Welcome motor! Pleased to hear all was well at your last scan. I've had mild cramps on and off for the last 5 months and am currently 23 weeks preggers with a frostie from our 2nd ivf cycle. Just counting down the days until the baby would be viable now...
Waves to everyone else. We're off on what will be our last night away sans sprog today. I'm v excited as we've booked into a posh b&b, which has humongous beds
so enough room for me, DH and the phallic pillow
Hope you get through today vallinna, I'm thinking of you.
How is Bella today Dildals?
Have a lovely time Gin. DH pointed out recently that if we didn't feel the need to save for the DDs education we could have dinner, B & B somewhere posh once a month. Instead of never. (I don't mind at all really!)
vall I am so so sorry. It is heartbreaking when this happens. I hope you are being looked after and have everything you need to get you through the next few days. Please let us know if you need a bit of support as we are all here for you. Xx
motor how are you doing honey ? Are you going to hold out for your scan on Wednesday ? mariana and fairy's advice was absolutely spot on so I hope they reassured you a little before your scan.
gin happy hollibobs !
dildals how is gorgeous Bella ? How are you doing ?
Hello to everyone else.
mariana how was the teeny rave ? Did the whorebag cake and voodoo gingerbread men go down a treat ? The vision of you supping an early evening lager with DD1 means that my girl crush has increased massively. You are my bloody hero swoon
I'm okay nokkie thank you. Still twinges and brown stuff, but I'm trying to be positive that it is nothing sinister. I really think I have to learn to sit with the anxiety a bit so will wait for the Wednesday scan. Just hope all is okay so that DH can see. He was pretty reluctant about the whole baby business, and it is so lovely to see him now getting excited and happy. I am very much in love at the moment!
Have a great holiday gin, and enjoy the big bed.
vall - just to say I am thinking of you.
Hello to everyone else.
Motor, I had a look last night for a long thread about bleeding during pregnancy but couldn't find it. Basically it's very common, especially around the 9/10 week point when the baby is settling in and placenta is forming. I hope the days whiz by until Wednesday.
Vall, thinking of you. Also thinking of you Foody, just in case you're lurking.
Have a fab break Gin. It's a great idea to make the most of this time.
Big love to Vall today. Thinking of you.
Motor I'm glad you feel calmer and able to sit until wed. But if you are worried do go to EPU straight away.
How did the 'do' go Mariana? I hope pornstar tinks did you proud on top of the cake. How is trenchlet?
Enjoy your hols Gin. We are going on Friday night (only with my parents and niece) but I'm still looking forward to getting away. I think that I might buy a pushchair next weekend. That's the plan at the moment anyway.
How is bella doing today? I meant to say dildals I'm also v sweaty at the mo. I keep getting self conscious.
Loads of love to everyone else. I hope you are all ok. I'm off to try to find bigger jeans that leave me room to grow over the next 3 months. I've put on 10 of the 8-12 kg of the average weight gain. That only leaves me 2 for the whole if the 3rd trimester. Hhhmmm I guess I'm going to be more than average.
shazza if it's any consolation I've put on about 12kg and was already about 3kg above my usual weight when I conceived so I am feeling enormous! I don't think the 8-12kg is average weight gain, it's the "ideal" that you should be aiming towards. But lots of women I know have put on a lot more than that when pg but then lose it again and are if anything slimmer than before. Or so I am telling myself. I think I won't weigh myself again until a month or so post birth. Seeing the scale read heavier than DH, who is 6'2" and not a string bean would kill me!
Sorry for radio silence, work has been manic this week and then I have been trying (and failing) to be a social butterfly in the evenings.
Firstly, Val I'm so, so sorry. It hasn't happened to me but I could only imagine how I'd feel in your situation. I really hope you're being looked after.
Noks fab news re the scan my lovely. Is that it now or will you have any more scans? We get one at 32 weeks at Kings, so it'll be nice to see Madam again, but not nice to be weighed again (Shaz - I don't know exactly how much I've put on as I was trying not to look at the scales, but I think it's about 10 kilos from what I've been able to piece together). Ah well, fuck it. I'll do what Victoria Beckham did and lose it all 'running around after the newborn.' Yeah right.
The epi-no talk amused me greatly. My friend was considering one until her NCT teacher (who will be my NCT teacher from late Sep) told her that an anal balloon (acquired from sex shops with the intention of making anal sex more pleasurable) would do the job just as well if introduced to the front bum, and for a fraction of the cost (£10). Now, I for one am not going into a sex shop to ask for an anal balloon, nor will DH do it, nor am I taking the risk of any dodgy online ordering. So, even though there's no data behind it, I think it's fingering myself with oil in a vague attempt to stretch my downstairs for me.
Mariana I loved the description of Tinkerbell the whore-bag. I hoped DD appreciated her cake.
Welcome to motorcycle
Waves to expat (please refrain from any more ice cream eating and floor lying shenanigans), fairy, sweetie, crisps, dildals and buzz (thanks for the Fbook group dildals, I will email you). Hope ceeara is well too! And for anyone I've forgotten, I'm very sorry.
All well here. Went on a bit of a raid at Kiddicare Croydon yesterday. Was supposed to be a sort of 'site visit' to see what they had in stock but we ended up brining a fair amount home. My favourite buy is a BT baby monitor which doubles up as a lullaby player/ night light/ starry sky projector. Went to the pub with DH and some of our friends last night and after half a bottle of wine and a whisky, DH wanted to go into the nursery before bed to 'see his starry sky'. For the love of god.
Haha at MrHY and his starry sky. Very Van Gogh.
Anal Balloon is the name of my next album. Or maybe I should name change? Christ almighty though, I cannot imagine who invented the anal balloon and why. People, stop shoving things up yourselves. It's Not Right.
Tinkerbell pimp cake was a resounding success. I am such a cheat! She's currently in bed with the plastic strumpet clutched in her sticky paw. The gingerbread men were for a different party yesterday. I instructed DD1 to give them faces made from silver sugar balls. As I gave them out I realised that the overall result was somewhat unfortunate in that they all looked like they'd been repeatedly shot in the face.
Nokkie you make me feel so manly...
The weight thing is best ignored. You can't do anything about it until afterwards. I still have a stone to lose but am losing a pound a week without trying.
Hope everybody else is ok and having a tranquil evening.
Hi all, Bella is doing fine. They have started to space out her feeds to 3 hrly feeds. I guess they have done this before and know what they're doing! She seemed fine when I left her earlier today. I tried to get her on the boob again, but she had the hiccups so she was not that interested. Can't really blame her, I wouldn't want to be force fed a boob if I had hiccups. We did some nice hug time though, I am getting a bit more comfortable with her little body and I now have snuggled her neck and belly. I still haven't had a bite of those lovely feet though and feel a bit deprived.
On weight - I have about a stone to lose and this expressing malarkey is making me ravenous. There may be some comfort eating too. I am just so bone tired. I am being punished for having such an easy pregnancy ...
On another note - I am not sure I will ever be able to wean myself off those big granny pants ... they are just SO comfortable!!
Oh aren't they just? It took me about 12 weeks to give up mine. I kept one pair, just in case I ever have a bad day and need to be comforted by my knickers.
Bella sounds like she's doing well, good snuggling too, you'll get to her feet eventually.
Fairy thanks for the reassurance. I was priding myself at first that I didn't put on much weight so it was a shock to see an extra 1 and a half stone. My friend said that I don't look like I've put on any weight except my bump which is sweet but I doubt that I've got the worlds first 1 and a half stone baby. I bloody hope not anyway. That would be a hypnobirthing miracle. I'd be an overnight Internet sensation.
MrsH heehee at MrH and his tipsy star gazing. I heard that mrs Posh beckham apparently had a convenient tummy tuck whilst the surgeon was stitching up the csection. Eyes watering at the anal balloon and laughing at your description of online ordering. Have I paid 360 of my good English pounds to go to NCT to be told to pump up my fanny with a dodgy sex aid?
Mariana I laughed so much at your gingerbread men that not only did I jiggle shazlett into action but I jiggled the fat of the man squeezed next to me on the bus.
Dildals lovely cuddles with little bella. I have her a wave last night when I found myself in kings a&e after DP stabbed himself in the hand with a Stanley knife. It's ok now but scary at the time. It bled so much. Made me resolve to do an infant first aid course.
Big hello to everyone else.
Talking of kiddicare. Yesterday when I called my Olds they were making sandwiches for a nice day out to a national trust house. 2 hours later they called me, they had slacked off the national trust and were scoping out kiddicare in Bristol! I love my parents! Apparently there is a kiddicare, mothercare, mamas & papas superstores and John Lewis all together. We are going next weekend. I'm going to have mariana's golden list on a clip board, ply DP with snacks and sugary drinks and do the whole lot in one hit.
Feeling very Monday morning. Trying to sit with it and count down til my hols at the weekend.
vall I'm so so sorry to hear your news. What an awful shock for you. I hope you can not worry about the future for now and just take time for yourselves.
dildals so pleased that Bella continues to move forwards, and yay for cuddles. It must be so hard not to be able to cuddle her the whole time.
shaz I've put on about 8 kg already as well. Hmmm. Oh well, I think I am eating healthily and exercising, so I assume that all is ok. Plenty of time to worry about all that later.
I'm having quite a lot of what I think are BH when I exert myself, either walking cycling or sex . The mw said just to slow down, but I find it quite hard to make myself walk at other than my normal pace. I suppose I am only just starting to feel that being pregnant is impacting on my life. Have mrsHY fairy dildals shaz mariana had lots of BH at this stage? It just feels like I've got a tight bump, no pain whatsoever. <fret fret>
mama i'm thinking of you for wednesday's scan. It shouldn't be anything to worry about as the others have said it's really common. But I also remember you had another scan recently. I have had some light bleeding a couple of times a few days after dildo camming, so it could also have been that. Plus your cervix is more sensitive now, I hear.
mrsHY i am so impressed at your organisation. We still have bought nothing except the socks. I am a bit overwhelmed at the amount of stuff we have when moving so I think i've been put off buying anything else! It must be so lovely to start nesting though.
gin glad things are going well. I too was counting down to 24 weeks when they say it has a chance of viability, but keep telling little Kip to STAY IN THERE!! Hope you've had a lovely weekend away.
Hi keep. I had the realisation that the pregnancy is impacting on my life a few weeks ago. I found it unsettling and emotional at first when I realised that I had to change my routine and slow down but now I'm ok about it. I can't multitask or dash from pillar to post and I don't really want to anymore. I think that it's normal. I try not to worry that my life will change forever that felt too overwhelming so I'm just making adjustments for now.
As for BH. I'm not sure if I'm having them. My bump gets very tight in the evenings and shazlett has decided that its a good idea to sit extremely heavily right at the bottom of the uterus so I have weight pressing down and I feel like I need a wee all the time especially when she jabs downwards until she moves again.
Re weight I also feel I'm eating healthily (except for the odd homemade biscuit and cake) and can't see how I could eat any less. I suppose I could do more rigorous exercise rather than Pilates and yoga but I'm happy doing that and feel that my body is strong and healthy so like you ill just keep being careful and worry about it later. My MW says don't weigh myself. Just get the bump measured. Last time the bump was 1cm too small.
how many weeks are you now, keep? I also find that I get a lot more BH when I walk a lot or in the evening when I am tired. I don't think they cause any problems, even if you have a lot of them but they can be uncomfortable. I now walk at a snail's pace compared with previously - if I don't I get a stitch in my side from being unable to breathe deeply. I have completely forgot what it was like to have a non-pregnant body and am really looking forward to getting it back again one day! My DS also said to me the other day that he had forgotten what I look like with a normal tummy, although he pointed out that I now had a 'built in pillow' for him to lean one while we were watching a DVD, which was a plus in his book.
Although I have been eating more than normal I haven't been pigging out at all so I guess the weight gain is inevitable. As mariana and shazza's MW say, best just to not weigh yourself and ignore it.
Also mentally I am much slower and tire easily. I think this is all normal.
mariana "shot in the face"! brilliant!
dildals so glad you're getting a bit of snuggle time in. I found it quite odd to go from having DS inside me all the time to being external to me and lots of cuddling helped.
And big granny pants do rule! I may never go back, sorry DH!
I'm 25+3, fairy. Thanks for that.
I may have to get granny pants... I just bought some new pants, but it seems like they don't quite cover everything. I think everything is stretching, iykwim. Great. Time to tidy up for the yoscar.
I'm having a v quiet day at work and guess what...I've just made Mariana's list into a spreadsheet. I'm so excited. There are columns for all the different people who are giving us things and then a column for what we need to purchase. Suddenly I feel in control again.
keep I had lots of BH from quite early on, around 20 weeks I think. I used them as a reminder to slow down as I would always get a load of them after cleaning the bath or something. You do get them anyway though as it's your uterus gearing up for labour, I used to get a strange fluttery breathless sensation in my throat when I had them too. Very odd. BH are always painless though, just a strong tightening sensation and your bump goes rock hard. If they get painful seek help.
shazza your parents sound great. And like they may soon be bankrupt...
Ha, perhaps we should copyright the list and sell it as an app?
Oh definitely Mariana that list is like gold to us novices. I'm clutching it like it is my bible
My parents are over the moon about this baby. We have all waited a long time. I think they had given up on me. I know I had! Generously, They are buying the pram.
Fairy I keep thinking about what you say about the transition from having the baby inside you to it being external. I think I will definitely miss the intimacy that I have with shazlett now even though I've never seen her and of course she can't stay in there forever. But at the moment it is just us 2 and that feels special.
I am back from my jaunt away, its a lovely place and I would happily move there but I think it is becoming more and more unlikely, I hate saying goodbye to Barry, it seems to get harder as time goes on, lots of tears at the train station.
vall I am still thinking of you
will catch up later, need to beg my cat for forgiveness, hanging out for my 16 weeks appointment to hear a heartbeat, I feel so much better and have lots more energy which worries me
I don't think I ever had BH, but I did have the tightening of the bump in the evening. Or is that the same thing?
TMI alert. DH and I got back in to the saddle last night. It's been 3 weeks now. And it hurt! I was v surprised. I mean, the natural birth bit was 'easy' as in, no tears or anything, and these babies are so small I didn't expect my nether regions to have incurred any damage. But I guess it must have?! We'll just give it a bit of time, but I just couldn't get over it. It felt like my first time again, weird.
Fair doos dildals. That is early days. I'm not surprised it is still tender down there. A little bit of time will heal that. How sweet that it was like the first time.
I'm still struggling in that dept. I keep trying but it's hard and I feel terrible about it. I miss the intimacy and the passion although of course we are intimate with lots of kissing and cuddling but you know what I mean.
Buzzy I feel for you. Pregnancy is enough of a rollercoaster without Barry being away. If you aren't moving does that mean he will come back to work here soon? It's great you are feeling better. It is disconcerting after all the sickness but welcome to phase 2. Make the most of it!
I hope everyone had a good night. I ordered the dreamgenii preggers pillow in the sale. Rubbish. Sending it back today. Quilted back support? There is more quilting on my bedsheets.
Oh and I watched a documentary on you tube called what babies want. It's in 7 parts and lasts an hour. It's interesting if you have a spare hour. My Hypno teacher recommended it. It's about how babies know what is going on from inside and how the birth experience affects us and them.
I don't know if its the same thing dildals, but I assume that was bh.
Oh god, if its painful for you to get back in the saddle then those of us who go to full term... <crosses fingers for everyone> ouchy! I remember my friend hadn't dtd 6 months after birth and I was so shocked!
shaz we've been ridiculously busy lately so not dtd much. Also I don't like the bh I get post orgasm. Freaks me out, and uncomfortable. I should make mire effort. Ooh, its the bank hols this weekend, let's all have a good shag.
That's an odd thing to say, sorry.
buzzy calm down lady and enjoy the second trimester. It's normal to feel good right now!
shaz how's your joint pain?
I had my 'booking' appt at the hospital yesterday at 25+3, had a scan and baby's all good, though with a 27 week size tummy Have another scan at 28 as I'm a 'late booker' as well as my anti D injection as I'm rhesus negative. Avoided seeing any bits again, but it seems to be harder to see things now its bigger anyway as you see less on the screen at one time.
A combination of episiotomy, bed sharing and breast feeding can severely limit shagging opportunity. It gets back to normal eventually but took me over six months.
Gah posted too soon
Also post pregnancy body ishoos. It all conspires against you, but it isn't for ever and I'm sure most people get back to normal eventually. Although reduced frequency wouldn't be surprising due to being knackered and starting to see sleep as very precious indeed.
Buzzy, I don't know what your situation is but I hope it's something you can sort out.
I'm arranging pre winter house things like tree chopping, gutter cleaning, school shoes, new slippers and it's gloomy and wet outside. How utterly depressing. I want more summer.
shazza will this youtube vid make me feel bad about having a traumatic birth, EMCS with general anaesthetic etc? If so, I am not going to watch it! There's a lovely little video on youtube as well on different types of cries and what them mean, and I can distinguish the different cries I hear on the ward now! It's called pre cry baby language.
Here's a picture for you! I have been taking fenugreek tablets to increase my milk supply and I have been smelling like I have a severe addiction to curries. It might be putting Bella off BF ... :-)
Tonight we are going to our first and only NCT class. I didn't want to miss out on the 'NCT experience' having missed out on quite a few things already (like the last 2 months of pregnancy, packing a hospital bag, writing a birth plan, dressing my baby for the first time, hearing her cry when coming out of the womb etc, leaving hospital with a baby/ies). Am dreading it a little bit. It's just to show our faces and establish contact. The NCT teacher was a bit difficult about it, well, not difficult, but she wasn't overly accommodating let's put it that way. Anyway, the NCT group has been really nice about it, one of them sent me a text last night welcoming me in the group, so that was nice of them.
DH will try and go back to work tomorrow. He doesn't want to particularly, but he will have to get back at one point so he might as well ease himself in gently. God, I don't envy him. Having to sit at a desk, dealing with mundane shit, when all you want really is to see your baby.
I think DTD frequency goes down after birth as well because the only time you can find for it when you won't be interrupted is late at night after DC have gone to bed and by then you are knackered. I have been told this changes eventually but now that we have a 5 yr gap between children I can't see it changing for an awfully long time! Quality not quantity I tell myself...
But I found it hard to get 'back in the saddle' (thank you dildals) post birth for all the reasons mariana gives (except for the episiotomy because i had a CS) but also because when you have a very little baby you are cuddling it all the time and BFing and you have so much physical contact that is very emotional and fulfilling you really don't feel like much else. At least I didn't, DH seemed very alien to me after a day spent with DS glommed onto me. DS just looked absolutely perfect and DH seemed all hairy and wrinkly and flawed in comparison. I did get over it, though.
dildals I hope you enjoy the NCT class and meet some nice parents. And I don't envy your poor DH, as you say it will be hard to deal with the mundane at work when your heart is definitely somewhere else.
Dildals you are very brave getting back in the saddle so soon after giving birth. I am not surprised it was uncomfortable.
Our dtd hardly happens these days either. It is me, I just don't feel like it. Am not really sure why. As shazza says I really miss the intermacy with DH.
Dildals interested to hear about your NCT experience too. I am still not sure if to do this or not. Seems expensive, £135, to meet other new mums. The course nearest to me is 4 x weekly sessions the last been when I am 35+5 so might be too late anyway.
Morning all! I'm working from home today after a shite night - had terrible indigestion/trapped wind which culminated with me waking up being sick over my phallic pillow
and nearly Mr G, not that he woke up bleugh. Am gonna ring the drs to see if they can prescribe me anything.
We're struggling to DTD even pre baby. I find it really uncomfortable and sore. Like you shazz I miss the intimacy. Maybe I need one of mrshy's anal balloons to help me stretch the old fanjo again!
dildals I'm a bit horrified to hear the nct teacher wasn't bending over backwards to be accommodating. I'd have thought the support from the other ladies would be invaluable. Hope that DH finds going back to work ok. I imagine it'll be hard for both of you.
Not long til our classes shazz! I'm slightly scared and worried everyone will hate me - thank god I know at least one nice person going along. I hope the others are friendly, as I won't be able to hack being at home sans adult company all week.
fairy at DH seeming all hairy and wrinkly compared to the baby! Mr G is already convinced I like the baby more than him.
Wow keep, 2 scans in 3 weeks! Are you London based?
Aww buzzy at the tears. Must be hard. I am sorry it hasn't worked out that you can move up there (although this means we can meet up on mat leave!). When is your 16 week appointment? I had a little cry when I first heard the HB.
vall still thinking of you.
mariana I too have turned your list into a spreadsheet! Now an app would be really useful...
I purchased some cheapo baby gros/vests in Primark at the weekend. Felt a bit bad that she'll be dressed in primani, but they are so cheap and I imagine it's quality over quantity the first few weeks after birth. They felt fairly soft and I will buy her some nice m&p stuff for wear out in public, so she's not embarrassed by her chav outfits.
Better get on with some work...
gin at the baby caring what clothes she's in. Sorry you had a bad night. Could it be a bug?. No, I've just moved to Birmingham. I don't think they trust the Thai clinic, blood results, scans etc, hence the extra care. I have to keep explaining I'm not one of those women who doesn't realise they are pregnant till the baby's bring born. Quite the opposite!! Speaking if which how do these women ignore or not notice the thumps from the inside?!
keep before I had DS I used to wonder how women went full term without growing a noticeable bump. But now like you I just can't understand how they could not notice the thumps, kicks, jabs and flips going on inside them? Either they are in severe denial or they have amazonian abdominal muscles.
gin primark is great for baby and child clothing. It gets a bit logo-tastic for boys after age 2 but I have relied on it pretty heavily - the only thing I feel bad about is their use of very cheap labour from Asia but I think they all do that apart from the high end.
Dildals, I'm appalled at the NCT woman too but lots of people find the loss of a baby very difficult to talk about. I hope you get some benefit from the rest of the group, even if it is just experiencing normality.
I buy mostly Tesco and Asda kids clothes but spend a lot on shoes and coats (bit like for myself really). I too cringe at the slave labour element but I'm afraid I just cannot afford to go elsewhere and you need to go very much elsewhere to know it's truly ethically produced.
fairy God yes, that's the other thing. Being touched all the time by the baby makes you want some 'bodily' peace and quiet. Especially after being pregnant and not feeling like your body is your own then either. At the moment I have DD1 treating me like a soft play centre and jumping all over me all the time and DD2 hanging off my nork at any available opportunity. DH is back of the queue!
I also boggle at the 'I didn't know I was pregnant' stories.
Lots to talk about so more later. Just wanted to say to dildals. Yes, the docu does mention that of course where there are medical emergencies and premature babies then intervention must take place. They were focusing on the practice of whipping normal weight full term babies from their mothers to be rinsed under the tap, weighed, poked, prodded, even pricked etc. contrary to previous beliefs, babies have feelings, emotions and experiences (no shit Sherlock!) and therefore should be respected and acknowledged and treated as tenderly as possible at birth. The positive message was that bonding can take place anytime if for whatever reason the baby can't be with the mother straight away. They need eye contact, touch, play etc. all the things that I'm sure you are doing with bella so don't worry. I will say though that there is a bit at the beginning about twins and id never forgive myself if I was responsible for upsetting you so please be aware of that. It was abit spiritual in places with adults going back to their birth experiences to heal themselves but one doesn't have to buy into that if you don't want to. There were a couple of instances where the baby was almost delivered in the back of a car or by the side of a road and the father in question panicked and pushed the baby's head back in. That experience turned out to be particularly traumatic for the child. Well it would wouldn't it?
Overall I suppose it was about how we could create an environment whereby the child feels welcomed and accepted into the world with respect and love. And how even in the womb the baby experiences much of what the mother experiences.
I hope that helps. X. I love the new pic of Bella. She is soooo cute.
Primark, sex, More later ladies.
I can tell you it's pretty traumatic for the parent in question to push a baby back too! Sounds like I will give this one a miss!
dildals good for you...we waited about 7 weeks I think as I had stitches, and it did feel uncomfortable and a bit alien at first, but got back to fine in no time at all. Hope the NCT thing is ok...just do what you feel comfortable with. I found I got upset when I was least expecting it so hope you are ok with it all. It will be nice for you to do some NcT things though, I always regretted not having the nice NCT coffee morning friends you see in the adverts!
shazza DH forked out fifty squids for that pillow, what a load of shite. I didn't take it back as I tried to sleep with it a couple of times but it was useless..it got squished by the bump and I haven't a clue what the random back support is for. I have huge boobs which just ended up getting squished. Dd loves it though so it has become a story time pillow for a bit, before magically transitioning in to a bf pillow for when I blissfully easily manage to ebf both twins with no trouble or crying or tiredness like the earth mother that I am
fucking midwife dictatorship
(will try bf btw, just not convinced it will be as easy as I am being led to believe after seeing lots of my friends struggle to bf their singleton babies!)
gin we have loads of primarni in our house, as well as asda, tesco, matalan and so on. She does have 'nice' clothes too but when you are cutting a babygro off minigin with scissors because it has poo all up the back of it you will be chuffed that it wasn't one of your m and p ones, trust me! I also have nice shoes and weekend outfits for dd but even her weekday nursery shoes are tesco as they get completely trashed at nursery. I find some lovely things in Zara in the sale who always reduce things to next to nothing, and asda actually do some lovely stuff for babies,especially their muslins and blankets.
Oh and as a Geography teacher I can actually vouch for primark ethical-wise...they have a much better policy than most places and do actually carry it out. The supermarkets are probably worse but like mariana I cant afford to buy everything from somewhere swanky...and she is the oracle so it must be ok!
keep hilarious f they think you didn't realise you were pregnant until lately. After feeling horrifically shite for so long I would at least have been at the GPs all the time asking what the hell was going on.
20weeks scan was today...all well although found it really difficult as am now past the point where everything went wrong last time. All was normal with both babies but they couldn't tell whether they were boys or girls p, but am luckily back for another scan next week for them to check one baby's heart as it wasn't playing ball and letting it be scanned properly, so they may be able to see then. Feel a bit underwhelmed again but I always do after scans...I think I keep waiting to feel content and excited and then always get disappointed when it doesn't happen. Hey ho though, all was well and I met my target...now aiming for 24 weeks!
keep just realised that made no sense...what I meant was how on earth do people not realise they are pregnant when you feel so different? Mind you, some people take no care anywhere...I walked past THREE very pregnant I patients at the maternity ward today who were all outside smoking. It was a fucking disgrace, couldn't help myself saying to myself how appalled I was when some people have difficult and tragic births. I. ET they'll be the ridiculously lucky fuckers who have two hour problem less painless births before going out on the lash the next day.
Good scan news crisps, I know how mixed the feelings can be though.
Shazza I fear a lot of that kind of information (the video) runs the risk of making you feel bad if you end up with a load of interventions. Also it's all mostly opinion not proven fact so should be taken with a pinch of salt anyway.
Crisps do you really cut pooey vests off? I find that if you roll them inwards as you pull them up, that generally contains it so you can get it over their heads without it going in their hair.
That's very interesting about Primark though, I might start going there as I just assumed they were dreadful. I must look into this a bit more for the sake of my conscience.
Trenchlet has stopped sleeping in the evenings unless she's marched round the house. DH is doing it now as I've got aching feet. We are despairing of ever having an evening together even just watching TV...
crisps great news on your scan, it can be difficult so it is natural to have mixed emotions
keep this is my 4th pregnancy, I feel totally detached from it all, I don't believe I will have a baby at the end of this, I worry about everything, this is our last chance, we do have a frostie but if my body keeps rejecting them then I wouldn't try again, I haven't enjoyed any part of being pregnant so far
buzzy, I could have written that word for word. Especially the hating of pregnancy and the last chance feeling. I'm not going to tell you it'll all be ok but I will say that the odds are very much in your favour that it will be. Not that that helps at the moment, but it is at least accurate.
buzzy you summed it up in a sentence. I feel exactly detached...happy to be pregnant but not in the way that I am growing an actual baby.
mariana only cut two or three off...total disaster zone and wasnt even going to attempt to wash them, ick. Was quite glad they were primark or asda specials at that point, never really putt dd into outfits in the first months, I think babies should be in babygros! Spent some time at ASOS hq last month and spoke to their head of ethical things lady who gave me inside info...primark are great apparently, supermarkets being the worst because they have a larger number of suppliers. I think things are generally better and judging by the info I teach kids which is a couple of years old perhaps primarni is all fine.
Oh buzzy I didn't mean to sound flippant. I'm so sorry.
And congratulations crisps on the good scan!
motor I think you have your scan tomorrow. Good luck. Thinking of you.
On the DTD thing and not wanting to because you have a baby to cuddle all day. I am the other way around, I have so much cuddle energy but only so much baby time, so I find myself stroking my husband's head talking 'baby' to him!
Thanks keep - scan at lunchtime. Terrified, but whatever the outcome it will be easier to know than not know. Will update when I can. Great news from your scan - another milestone achieved.
Good luck MM, update us afterwards.
dildals that's completely logical in your situation. When you can finally hold Bella for as long as you want you'll probably rarely put her down. Hire a sling, they're lovely for keeping tiny babies close but still being able to do stuff! Trenchlet is too heavy to lug around everywhere now but she still spends hours sleeping on me, I took her in with me at 4am this morning and she's still asleep on me now.
crisps, I feared as much. We have a Primark in our nearest town, which is where the Asda is anyway, so on your authority I'll swap. I never buy anything more expensive though as they do just trash so much of it. I have some Gap (outlet of course) stuff and some M&S but the vast majority is cheapo stuff.
For total poo explosions I sluice everything under the shower and then soak in vanish powder before putting in a normal wash. It doesn't always work but is worth a try! I have had two leaky babies though, we seem to have a poo explosion every other day!
Taking notes on how to deal with pooey clothes. Keep these nuggets coming ladies!
Motor, best of luck for today.
I am a dinosaur but will get my act together and join facebook.
I'm not on Facebook either, I tried it once but felt strangely self conscious using it: 'why would anyone want to know what I'm doing everyday?' and got similarly irritated by other people's updates: 'I don't much care what you're having for dinner'. Just not for me.
Just had a MW appt. went very well. I always feel so reassured afterwards. Hb was fine. Shazlett had hiccups which was funny. Now I know that I've felt that before its like little pulses in my tummy. Also she had her head down bum in the air so we could feel her little bum. So cute. Lots of reassuring chat about home birth so all good.
I've been very teary this week. Anyone else feeling this? Is this normal for 3rd trimester? It feels like nothing is wrong and then everything is wrong iykwim. DP is being great but I know he is worried. I cried myself to sleep last night. The MW said maybe I should speak to my GP as we don't want me to be at risk of PND.
Keep my back is much better thanks. I'm doing my exercises religiously so hopefully that helps. Good that your booking appt was good and you have scans lined up.
Mariana summer is back in London today. I hope it's good there and you can put those wellies away for a while yet. I feel for you re pacing the floor with trenchlet.
Dildals. How was NCT? Like the others I am horrified that they weren't supportive. I hope that the session was helpful. The other members sound nice. Are you ok with DP back at work today? Thinking of you. Xx
Fairy cause I think shazlett is a boy I keep checking out boys clothes. What is it about putting all those logos and things on them? If it is a boy he will be in stripey t shirts the whole time. Very cute!
Gin hope you had a better night. I'm looking forward to NCT. Hopefully they will be nice. If not we can sit at the back and flick rolled up pieces of paper at the back if their heads
Crisps I had a MASSIVE row with the owner of dreamgenii yesterday. After I sent the pillow back with the enclosed returns label and paid £11 for the pleasure. I found out that they don't accept returns of that item and don't refund the postage. So at the moment I'm over £50 down and no crap pillow. I'm so angry. Great news on your scan. That's a relief. I'm with you on the preggers women smoking. I try not to judge anyone, each to their own but that is a step too far.
Buzzy I really feel for you. I hope that you can find a way to start to relax and enjoy this a little bit. You have come so far and are doing so well. Keep going honey. I'm happy to have another meet up soon if you fancy it.
Motor good luck with the scan today. Fingers crossed for you.
Hello to everyone else. I hope you are all ok.
I'm nearly at work now. It's hot in London today. I really hope that it is nice next week in Torquay. A rainy week in a caravan with my parents might not be as fun as it sounds
I now use Fb for 2 things. To share pics with my knitting/crochet group and for the yoni warriors! X
shazza, some teariness is normal, so many hormones sloshing about and all the imminent change make it inevitable. If you find it's stopping you do ordinary things then it's time to seek help. I think you're ok though, I think you're the kind of person who thinks about things a lot and that might make you a bit more likely to feel overwhelmed. In drawing that conclusion from words on a screen though so feel free to tell me to shut up!
Hiccups are funny though aren't they? I thought they were just regular kicks at first until a MW heard them and told me. I'm glad you're on course for your home birth too.
That postage returns thing is very annoying. I got stung with that before where I've returned something recorded delivery and they then say they only pay 2nd class rates back. Thieves!
dildals hope you're managing without DH. I imagine the routine carries you along to an extent.
Hi Mariana. Very astute summary of me! Yes I do think <worry> alot and that overwhelms me. DP is so supportive which is great. So I'm just going to keep doing my Hypno and relaxation and try not to worry.
Good news is that they refunded the wretched pillow but not the postage. So the sorry affair cost me £11. I've learned my lesson about online shopping.
oh dear shaz. I wouldn't say I've had any of that teariness yet. Are you stressed at work? When are you planning to stop? I guess not for a while yet. I think talking to your GP doesn't sound like a bad plan. Crying yourself to sleep for no particular reason sounds horrible, but I think that crying lots is a bit normal. Sorry that's not particularly helpful.
crisps i'm so pleased you're past the stage it went wrong last time. That must be a relief.
keep I reckon you've been too busy to be tearful. (You should schedule in a good old weep soon.)
Motor, hope all is okay.
Lots to say. Will be back later.
shazza I reckon teariness is fine as long as it isnt all day or every day. After the horrendous journey we've had to take to get this far, along with tiredness and hormones everything does see, overwhelming. That said, do speak to someone if you feel you need to. I think it's the drastic change from focusing on fertility to focusing on a baby, it's quite a lot to adjust to. Outraged that they wouldn't let you return it...it is clearly not doing its job! Will 'unrecommend' to as many people as possible.
gin I was prescribed ranitidine for acid in my stomach to help with the sickness, although I actually think you can buy it over the counter. Works well for me and better than chugging gaviscon all night. Hope mr gin inst too traumatised!
expat I don't think cutting pooey vests off is dealing with it...just easier! Most of the time a baby wipe and a washing machine will suffice, but sometimes if the angle of baby's bottom and the force of an explosive poo combine it can go unbelievably everywhere! I always used to take two spare sets of clothes and two packs of baby wipes out with me just in case. I hear bf poos are worse too so if this is your plan beware! But that and fishing a poo out of the bath are all part of the new parent initiation, although I won't share my bath poo horror story with you all just yet...
motor thinking of you today...
Has anyone found any nice maternity jumpers for work? So a smart cardi or something. Not too expensive. I don't have anything yet. I wonder if maybe just a regular cardi would be ok not done up?
Hi all. Scan today was great! Baby did lots of very cool wriggling which DH managed to video on his phone at the suggestion of the sonographer. Good measurements and heart rate. Just goes to show - the way i think and feel about the pregnancy has no bearing on the reality of the situation, if you know what I mean. I have hardly any symptoms, and feel decidedly un pregnant most of the time which scares the shit out of me, but it's all going on just fine.
shazza lovely to hear the news from your mw appt today - so exciting. I'm not surprised re the tearfulness - it's an emotional business, and your hormones are all over the place. Hope you feel happier soon. X
Yay motor awesome news. Congrats, hope you can manage to treat yourself to some chilling and a nuce cuppa tonight to celebrate xxx
Congratulations motor!! It's weird isn't it how our bodies just get on with it.
Motor great news on the scan
keep have you thought of an unfastened waistcoat as a smarter alternative to a cardigan? I wear a regular cardigan unfastened or with just top button fastened but it is pretty casual where I work
Shazza I think tearfulness comes with the hormones but if you are worried speak to MW or GP, glad DP is supportive to you. I had a major breakdown over the weekend, DH had gone to bed and I went into the kitchen for a drink only to be faced with 2 massive slugs crawling across the kitchen floor. I was hysterical and poor DH had to get up to deal with them, it took me ages to calm down.
DH was having a poonarmi conversation with one of his mates this weekend too. His mate was saying to get cheap vests so they can be disposed of rather than dealt with. I have been telling him this for weeks/months but now his mate has told him then this is what we will be doing.
We used to say "he's got poopaulets" when DS woul unleash a particularly awesome jet from the backside. I seem to remember throwing away a few cheap babygros because I couldn't cope with the washing.
motor wonderful news! You really are pregnant!
keep I've only got cardigans and a couple of cotton jumpers from Gap that are big enough to go over the bump. Cardis are essential IMHO.
shazza like the others I think a bit of random weepiness is totally normal. But if you otherwise feel down or unable to cope that's different.
I try to get DS lots of very colourful clothes (esp striped tshirts!) and it is possible but you have to look. I have never bought him anything that is camouflage or has a military motif. But there just isn't the variety your have with girls clothes.
'Poopaulets' = marvellous
DH today in front of hairdressers 10 year old daughter (whilst I'm getting my hair cut in the kitchen) 'Where are the sleepsuits, Trenchlet's shat up the back of her neck again!'
I cringed. It does happen almost everyday though.
sweetie our last house had slugs. Every morning I would scrub their filthy slime off the rugs. It was one of the things that made us move. I hate them so much.
Excellent news motor.
I love all the baby shit stories. I am obsessed. Today Bella cracked a loud fart on the ward. Well, I thought it was pretty loud. Then she proceeded to have a machine gun like pooing session while I was holding her. In the beginning all the moaning and yelping noises worried me, now I am starting to think that digesting food is simply a major pastime for all babies and basically quite hard work! Bella had a big tummy today, full of gas, and she did a bit of a vom, which means she's struggling a little digesting her milk (as I said, hard work digesting), so they are giving her a little break. We were really calm asking the doctors for a 'review' as it's called. I was really proud of us afterwards, we're turning in to calm cool and collected parents!
At one point she was alert and sucking her hand so I was trying to put her to the boob. But she basically pulls a face like 'stop pushing that boob in my face mummy ... you are suffocating me!'. DH thinks he's a BF expert and tries to coach me in to the 'right' position. I may have to throw a dummy at him or strangle him with a muslin soon.
The NCT group was funny. They have got NO IDEA what is about to hit them!! They all have these romantic ideas on BFing and birth ... Quite a few of them couldn't believe that BFing is pretty much a fulltime occupation in the first weeks/months. Also, the teacher glossed over quite a few things. I don't think they realise that BFing is not necessarily somethign they will get the hang of. Also, the fact that it can hurt. Or massaging lumps out or pumping or how to wake up a sleepy baby. This was all not really discussed. They'll get there though. :-) I heard two of them discussing that 'apparently it is normal that baby boys have big genitalia when they come out' ... Maybe I just read too many books but I thought everyone knew that!
DH has not gone back to work. I think he's finding it hard to actually get up in the morning and 'do it'. Can't blame him!
shaz tearfulness TOTALLY normal. I felt like that. Had some massive rows too with DH around that time. And I really felt the need to be alone and quiet if that makes sense.
Poor Bella, their guts do take a long time to mature. Trenchlet still suffers from a lot of wind. After and during every feed I have to wind her until she belches like a navvy and she often writhes about in great discomfort before an almighty poo explosion. It can be hard to watch, all I do is give her room to wriggle, she gets it out eventually and is then very happy, even if she is wallowing in her own filth!
I've no experience of NCT but didn't find NHS antenatal stuff useful, it was my own reading that prepared me more than anything. It's always seemed to me that NCT is best for getting some pregnant friends though!
BF is really hard work and I maintain that the reason rates are so low is because new mothers aren't properly informed about this, so when they find it exhausting and painful they think it will be like that for ever, or that there is something wrong with them. For me the first six to eight weeks were awful. It's fine now but I wish there was more honesty about it from professionals. I feel like there's enormous pressure to BF and that itself can be off putting. I don't judge anyone who formula feeds, we're all feeding our babies at the end of the day and that's all that matters.
Trenchlet is currently asleep with her head on my bladder as she is lying sideways across my stomach. It's like being pregnant again.
The thing is that how can any of us know what is coming? This adds to my worries that I won't be able to cope. I don't think I have romantic expectations but on the other hand I can't possibly imagine what the reality is like. If I'm lucky the reality won't be half as bad as I'm imagining!
Thanks for the kind words of support. I'm finishing work on the 18 oct Keep. What about you? The good news is that I have finally negotiated working from home on Fridays so that is a relief. I'm sure ill be ok. And much of the time I'm very jolly. It's just sometimes it all gets too much and overwhelming and I worry about coping. I still can't decide on a pushchair and that is stressing me out. My 'rents reported back that some of my fav models on paper at kiddicare are online only so how can I try them out? I've got a short(ish) list if about 10 possibilities but I need to try them and can't find a shop that sells them all. I know it's a silly thing but this is preoccupying me.
Crisps after a tussle I got the money back for the pillow but not the return postage. I did tell the inventor everything that I felt was wrong with her award winning pillow though which was quite amusing. Poor woman caught me on an 'off' day!
The poonami stories are funny and invaluable ladies. Thank heavens for the emergency clothes that I got from freecycle. They sound perfect for this job and didn't cost me a penny.
Motor so happy re scan. Please remind me how many weeks you are? It is so exciting to see the baby isn't it?
Dildals good for DH. The transition back to work is bound to be hard. I hope bella is feeling better in her tummy today. Farting stories are always funny even on SCBU
Mariana it took me a moment to realise that DH probably used trenchlet's real name rather than trenchlet. Which is funny cause I think trenchlet is the cutest nickname!
Sweetie I haven't had slugs but did have squirrels in the loft and mice at one point both drove me insane.
MrsH did you finish Hypno last night? What did you think? We've been practising and hopefully it will help at least in the beginning.
Hope everyone else is ok and has a good day.
I had a funny little game with shazlett yesterday. There was a hard lump to the right of my belly button so I gently pressed it and much to my amazement and surprise it shot out again throwing my fingers off! I jumped and giggled and everyone looked at me! It was really funny. So I did it again a couple of times and shazlett did it again but not as strongly as the first time. I wonder if it was annoying for her or if it was a little communication between us?
shazza that is so sweet - it sounds like she was playing with you!
I'm 10+3 today. Mini-motor measurements put him at 10+6 gestational age yesterday - 4 days ahead. I'm taking this to be a sign that he is healthy and strong, not something weird. I daren't google it in case I read that it is suggestive of something bad.
Ha motor I think we've all had a few days out. You'd think nothing of it apart from we all know our dates. Three days ahead is nothing if you think about the accuracy. My scans were always +/- 7 days at that stage. (and I was a week ahead at 12 weeks but then later back to normal).
shaz i did the exact same thing the other day as inspired by reading the Bounty magazine while waiting for my scan. I think it's the first time we communicated, so I was a little teary. Also sometimes I get these huge internal thumps, that I can't quite pinpoint where Kip's kicking. It's quite an odd sensation. I'm stopping on the 1st Nov, at 36 weeks. But am not starting till the week after next... That's so great you can work from home.
dildals did you feel like the voice of experience then, having to bite your tongue? I'm glad the couples were welcoming even if the teacher wasn't really. I guess you're the opposite of all their non intervention
crap but look at you persevering BF in these circumstances. You're doing amazingly. And I'm glad DH hasn't gone back to work. There's no rush surely. I hope his work are being understanding about it. I too am always amazed at the grunting and groaning from newborns, even those bigger ones at term. And if you think little Bella's tummy is not really designed for milk just yet. Are you about 32 weeks equivalent now?
fairy i can't remember if you found out the sex or not? Let me try a list
Expat - unknown
Fairy - ?
Shaz - unknown
keep - unknown
mrshy - girl i think
sweetie - one of each
crisps - babies were uncooperative so going back next week
i think that's all of us who are past 20 weeks so far?
Just popping in quickly, so pleased to hear of the good scans sweetie and motor!
Wanted to let you know mamas and papas have 30% off all weekend... I can feel a splurge coming on...
Keep - I'm having a little girl, 'definitely' according to the scanner!
Hope you all have good days
shazza, I've known lots of people who've had babies and not a single one of them hasn't coped. You will be absolutely fine, I promise! The only thing I wish I'd known is that the first 6 weeks are the hardest, the next 6 still quite tough, but it gets an awful lot easier after that.
Aw at her prodding you back. I like to think it's communication.
Trenchlet is known by several different names already. It's bizarre the nicknames that emerge for babies.
Oops meant crisps not sweetie, sorry!
Yes Keep she's 32 weeks plus now. She'll be 33 on Monday.
mariana glad you confirmed Trenchlet does the same! :-)
keep I'm having a girl. She will sometimes push back if I prod her in the right place. At the moment her bum is sticking out quite a bit on the right side of my bump so I keep poking her there. She will no doubt grow up with a complex about her bottom!
shazza like mariana says, the first 6 weeks are the worst but you will cope and be a great mum. Just don't aim for perfection or feel you 'have to' do anything. Most of all do not feel you have to follow some regime set out in a book (either on the attachment parenting or the 'cry it out' side) or else the baby will be "spoiled" and you will still be sleepless and bonkers four years later. Just do what seems like the right thing because each baby is different as is each parent.
I have to say that I found BFing very easy. I had a bit of pain when the letting down was established and my nipples were sore for a while and a couple of bouts of mastitis but actually getting sufficient milk in DS was no problem. He latched on immediately after birth with no problems, I think maybe because he was a very robust baby who could practically hold his head up from birth. It definitely wasn't anything I did in particular so I guess I was just lucky. He did used to get terrible wind but he would when bottle feeding as well (I had to go back to a course one day week 3 weeks after giving birth so DH would look after him that day and give him a bottle of expressed milk).
Shazza at our counselling session for using DE we were asked about our worries and I mentioned ability to cope. The counsillor actually said lots of people feel very daunted with coping with parenting so I don't think anything you are feeling is out of the ordinary. As the others say of course you will cope, sometime it will be tough but you will get through those times and it sounds like you have very supportive DP and family network.
Dildals lovely to hear about Bella doing all the normal things like breaking wind, bless her. I can imagine her little face when boob comes towards her, I bet she is a little startled. Your NCT class sound like they are in for a shock and this is one of the reasons I am in two minds about joining one myself. I think they gloss over too much that we need to know, it is an expensive way to meet other new Mums. I feel for you DH too, it must be so difficult for him to be at work leaving you and Bella behind.
Mariana DH admitted to leaving the back door open due to the dryer being on and it getting very warm in the utility room. So the slugs may have taken advantage during this time, this is what I am hoping as I can not cope with slugs in any shape or form, give me spiders, mice or insects any day. I would have to move too, even though we have only moved in 6 weeks ago.
I am trying to ignore the fact we have had a couple in the conservatory too which is where I intend spending most of my time with the babies when they arrive. DH has already been around the skirting boards with clear silicone. Is there anything else we can do? I don't really want to use poison as we have a dog who I would be scared of eating anything we left down.
I bought a sack of salt and poured it into every crack and hole in the kitchen using a plastic funnel (ours was an old house with stripped floorboards with some big gaps, especially round pipes under the sink which is where I think they came in). I filled smaller holes and gaps with sealant and stuffed larger ones with wire wool! I couldn't fill them all though so they did keep coming in. Your dog will probably take one lick at the salt and then avoid it and it won't harm him. Good luck, they are vile.
sweetie we had slugs in our last rental (which was a major impetus to buy!). They danced across the living room carpet every night and up the kitchen cupboards onto the cutting board (shudder). We eventually resorted to pouring slug poison around the skirting boards downstairs, which worked thank god. At the time though DS was a v young baby and we could keep him away from it and our cat was canny enough not to touch it. I think they make the poison very bitter so that pets should spit it out but it depends on the individual animal - I have known some dogs who will eat virtually anything. Maybe you could get someone to take the dog for a few days? It didn't take more than that to kill off the whole colony.
Oh god, I used to come down to their trails up the walls! it makes you all OCD. Once I went down at 2am as Dd was ill and I needed a cup to give her a drink. There was a 2inch monster on the floor. I nearly gagged. I always kept everything I might need in the night upstairs from then on and wouldn't go downstairs before DH if at all possible. Despite our rural life now we have far less vermin in this house than in the inner city.
i have been reading an old MN thread about slugs and feel sick now. We are going to have to go down the poison route I think, or can you get people in to sort them out? I cannot stand the thought of having new borns where the slugs have been. We have recently moved to this house, it is only 15 years old. I wasn't expecting this problem as I don't think it is damp and doesn't have the nooks and crannies of an older house. The dog sleeps in a crate with a blanket on the top to keep it dark for her and I noticed the trails on her blanket but the floors are laminate downstairs so we can not see where they have been unless we actually come across them.
We had mice in our last house and I wasn't so bothered by this as I am about the slugs. Off the further Google getting rid of slugs.
But if they're coming in through an open door that's ok isn't it? Just keep the door closed? If not then I'm sure poison will see them off. Or get a hedgehog.
I don't think slugs are dirty or carry diseases, do they? <looks on the bright side> They're just slimy and gross. I'd worry about the dog too sweetie - they just eat anything, don't they?
motor good news on the scan, I wouldn't worry about the measurement I was always 2-3 days behind at this stage
sweetie can I ask if you had DE ??
shazza I think tears are natural, I am surprised I haven't been in tears more, its a long emotional rollercoaster, I think most people are unaware of what is really instore for them when they have a baby, it depends on each couple and how they manage in general, I haven't read read any books and I'm in no great rush to, I think you can have too much information. I love the story about little shazzlett
dildals glad Bella is still doing well
Buzzy yes I had donor eggs. I had done ivf with my own but was a poor responder. I only made 1 egg on 450 of menopur. Happy to answer any questions.
sweetie Mine is DE, but I went overseas as I could not do egg sharing here in the UK, we only had one shot so didn't bother with my own
we had slugs in our previous flat. One night I went to the kitchen in the dark and stepped on one barefoot!!! EEEK!
Dildals eugh that is horrible
Buzzy I had my treatment here in uk with Care. They were brill. we had a dedicated donor but only got 5 eggs. At the time I was gutted but look at me now - pregnant with twins and we have a blasto on ice. We used the embiescope to monitor the embies, I am convinced this increased our chances. How was the overseas experience?
<shudder> at the slugs. Must be the time of year for critter invasions, as we were kept up last night be a mouse seemingly chewing floorboards! Argh. Anyone know of humane ways of getting rid?
Again, motor great news about the scan. Not long til the 12 weeks one now.
shazz sorry to hear about the tears but am sure hormones must have a part to play. I had a little pity cry last night, as was just so knackered and had awful trapped wind. I then felt guilty as I so so wanna be pregnant! Hope you are feeling a little better. I think shazzlet is due just as I start my mat leave
I've too have been feeling a tad overwhelmed about all the stuff we need to get and decisions to be made. At least the buggy is one thing I don't have to think about, as we're buying my colleague's. It's so odd to find myself obsessing about baby gros at 1am... However after my M&P splurge I feel a bit better and I know realistically we have ages to get stuff. There's just a lot to think about!
Go bella and her huge fart! I hope you were proud dildals. The NCT BF advice sounds a bit crap. Think we have a 3 hour session on it in our classes, eek! I hope Mr D is doing ok. Must be so hard for you both with him back at work. Have you got any 'rents nearby ?
I'm planning to give BF a go, but try not to be too bothered if I really can't get on with it
she says. Btw, is anyone else leaking a bit? I have small crusty patches on my bra already and have done since about week 20. Urgh, maybe it's boob cheese...
Am loving poopoulets too fairy. Sounds v cute, unlike the reality!
keep I'm hoping to get away with pre preggo cardis and blazers unfastened and maybe just investing in 1 jumper for when it's proper cold. I think Top Shop and JoJo mamon have some, but not sure how smart they are.
crisps my gp mentioned ranitidine, but said she'd rather not give it to me unless totally necessary, boo. I now have a ginormous bottle of gaviscon, so I can have a gaviscon chaser after every meal! Congrats on the scan! I too am aiming for the 24 week target (in 2 days time!) and then the 28 week one. Does anyone else feel like you get to one supposed pregnancy milestone, expecting to feel better, but then realise there's another one and the the target has changed?
DE seem to have such a great success rate. If the FET hadn't worked, I was going to do an egg sharing round as a way of funding another ivf cycle. I really like the idea of giving someone a chance, but I'll be just too old by the time ginster is born. They really need to change the age legislation over here and do it on individual fertility rather than a random cut off.
Waves to everyone else.
Does anyone know anything about paternity leave? DH is starting a new job and HR have told him he won't be entitled to anything, not even unpaid, as he's new. Am shocked that in this day and age there are no statutory requirements around PL. We're hoping they'll be flexible and let him bring forward some leave from next year <panics at the thought of being alone with baby>
Hi guys, according to BBC breakfast slugs can have toxins that affect dogs. Talking of dogs, if any of you have one do you have a strategy for introducing it to baby?
Shazza, yes have been tearful throughout the pregnancy. Sometimes it's been for a specific reason but often it's an outlet for the thousands of random stressy thoughts. The fact that you worry will be what makes you a lovely mum. We've carried a lot of tension with us during the quest to get pregnant and it needs to be released somehow.
gin my DH just started a new job 1 July and isn't entitled to PL either. You have to have worked 26 weeks for your employer by the 15th week before the expected due date (see https://www.gov.uk/paternity-pay-leave/eligibility). However they have said they will let him take a few days off unpaid - it would be rather draconian to say he can't take any time off at all! What if you have a long labour, is he supposed to leave you and go to work? He certainly wouldn't be effective at all.
Luckily my mother is going to come for a month so I don't really need DH to be around all the time after the birth, in fact it is preferable to have my mum because she is much better at looking after me than DH! But if I didn't have her I would be very anxious about not having DH at home for at least a week or two.
I had leaky breasts a few times around 20 weeks but haven't had it since. Bit odd since you'd think it would only start later on but I guess it was just my body adjusting to the hormones.
I'm a bit amazed at how prevalent the slug infestation problem is. At the time I thought it was just us and we had somehow attracted them by our slovenliness. We had to have a housesitter for a few weeks while the slugs were still around and I was completely ashamed by it.
DE success rates do sound very good. I would have been completely up for it if the first round of IVF hadn't worked since the idea doesn't bother me and anything to improve the chances would have been attractive.
fairy I was planning on having my mum come down too and you are so right about mums being better at looking after us (and keeping the house clean) than DHs! As you say any work place would have to be v mean not to give a few days to allow the father to attend the birth.
al you must be so near now! Hope all's ok.
Feeling much better today. Maybe cause I'm 'working' from home and I'm going away tonight for a week.
Motor you are almost at the 12 week mark which is fantastic. My dates changed twice as well.
Gin thanks for the M&P sale tip. I'm having a shopathon this weekend so will go. I think mothercare also have a sale. And so do kiddicare for that matter. Sadly I'm abit of a mouse expert after we had a terrible infestation that lasted a year i was desperate by the end. Luckily our neighbours moved, the house and garden was a tip and filthy and the mice seem to have stopped now they have moved thank goodness. I'm afraid that the only way was little nipper traps for the odd one or two although I couldn't empty them DP had to do that. But when the squirrels came to settle in the loft as well i had to get a man in and we had poison put down. It goes under the kitchen cupboards and in hidden places but I would do it now before Ginster arrives.
Im not leaking but my left nipple is very sore. It looks like a couple of the ducts are blocked and abit swollen. Any tips?
Yuk to all the slug stories. Dildals it is gross to have stepped on one I did step on a mouse once when I was washing up and it made a dash for it. I was very upset.
Fairy re your mum staying. I was thinking of asking mine to do the same for a week or so. DP has a show booked just after shazlett is due so he will be really busy painting and prepping. It's not ideal timing but we need the sales so he has to do it. I was wondering how to manage my mum while I'm learning about a newborn. I guess you have done it before so it's different. Any tips welcome.
Finally what are your thoughts on 4d scans? There is a groupon offer for £99. I've looked and the package is usually over £200. I wouldn't do it for full price but I'm thinking it might be a nice record. I don't want to find out the gender and also I'm worried it might spoil the mystery if we can see Shazlett in colour. Has anyone thought of doing this?
Have a good day x
shaz I had 4D scans at both 13 weeks and 20 weeks in Thailand. The 13 week one was a bit weird as it looks quite like an alien, but at 20 weeks it was super cute. I think they say don't go after about 30 weeks as the baby is too big and you can't see much. While it was nice to see, and it looks so much more like a baby than the 2d one, I'm not sure i'd pay £99 for it. Having said that, if you were thinking of having a scan anyway then it's not much more. I don't think it'd spoil the 'surprise', and you can just look away when they get to the 'nether regions' (am my sonographer called them last week). At the size shazlett is they won't be on display the whole time, just as they move down the body.
My worst slug experience was when I put on a shoe and a slug was in there. Oh god it was revolting. We then moved to Africa and I was paranoid about more sinister things lurking in shoes, and always shook them out before moving on.
It looks like there are loads of sales on at the moment. Maybe we will start to get our arses in gear this weekend and buy some stuff, as while it seems like there is ages (26 weeks today!), I guess you just never know.
Oh gin i've had v small amounts of whitish stuff coming out of my nipples since maybe 15 weeks. It's a bit gross and I scrape it off. It's not liquid though. I'm strangely jealous you're leaking - how weird is that?!
I had my mum to stay and she was absolutely brilliant, but we get on very well these days so she knows how to play it. She stays quite a lot and can just get on with things. If you have a tense relationship it might not be a good idea as y
You need to be relaxed as possible with all those hormones raging. Having a spare room is good so everyone has their own space.
Non humane mouse traps here too. It's the only way. Again we have no mice here in the country except in the compost bin. Dirty neighbours have a lot to answer for.
There's no way I could cope with African beasties.
Leaking: Only once when I was pregnant when I held a new born. Freaky!
Dildals love the new pic of Bella. She looks like she's in a nest. I'll upload a new Trenchlet one too.
Hope everyone has a lovely bank holiday weekend. The rain is beating down here...
Just had a thought ... Wouldn't Mariana be a fab NCT teacher? To the point, practical... I think I have learned more on this thread than I would have done at NCT!
Ha! I'll take that as a compliment but I doubt they would have me, I dont think I share their views either. I do think you learn far more from the internet generally though.
I do wish Trenchlet hadnt decided she was getting up at 5am. I'm going to be exhausted by 10am.
Bella and I had an eventful day yesterday. First of all Bella played the trick on me that all babies eventually play on their parents. I was changing her, and I should have known better really. She had been doing a lot of straining and complaining, red head, pushing face. I thought she had finished and felt bad for her being in a pooey nappy. Lesson for next time. Just leave her for a bit until she's properly done. I had a nappy there to 'catch' any after poos, but just as I lifted her legs up (which seems to have a compressing effect on her bowels) she projectile pooed and spray painted the back wall of her incubator mustard yellow... I would have said 'good girl!' if it had happened to anyone else but me!!! I almost called Harvey Keitel, the problem solver, for the clean up job.
Then I went to labour ward today as well ... Last night 2am I got these shooting pains in my right boob and a couple of hrs later I was woken up by these horrendous pains in RHS boob. Because of the pain I could only get minimal milk out and I ended up with Massive Boob. It was so painful I quietly sobbed early Sat morning. It being the weekend the Maternity Assessment Unit was closed but they said the MWs at labour ward would still see me because I was <28 days postpartum. What a waste of time that was. Basically the MW was useless as was the doctor. But, as is the case with most NHS wards, it took them a long time to come to the conclusion. I booked in at 1 and they said they'd call me on neonatal ward when I was at the front of the queue. I didn't want to get Bella out of her incubator just in case they'd call. At 3.30 I thought I'd better pop in again and see how things were going. I only left 2 hrs later, basically waiting to see MW, then junior doctor, then senior registrar. They couldn't find my notes, blabla. Anyway. I was totally unprepared for all the memories the labour ward would bring back. I was in floods of tears. Then as the afternoon progressed I got more and more irate because I hadn't held my baby all day. Finally I got to hold her and I felt a lot better but wow I now understand when the consultant said I may not want to give birth at this hospital ever again. I am not sure I will be able to cope with the labour ward again.
I held Bella that evening, she was rooting so I put her on the boob. And what a good baby she is, she did a good and proper sucking session! She totally went for it. And then she fell asleep on the boob, nipple in mouth, but would get right cross with me if I would try and take her off! :-) Bless her.
Oh dildals what a day! Did you find out what was wrong with your breast? Is it ok now? Im sorry you had the labour ward experience. The feelings are so new its bound to be hard. And with such a strong memory trigger its best to avoid the place. So you have experienced your first poonami. It sounds like a rite of passage. But bless bella for BFing and loving it.
I think dildals is right. Mariana you are the oracle. Maybe i could come and live with you for 6 weeks ala Kate Middleton going home to her mum's
Afm I'm at my parents. That is great but bro and SIL from hell are here with Dd's 1 & 2. She only said 3 or 4 insensitive, offensive things yesterday. I find it hard to bite my tongue though and DP says I have to tolerate her for my lovely bro.
We did request that they all refrain from telling us how awful it is going to be and how our lives are never going to be our own again. And laughing at DP because he had a nap in the day. He has been working so hard this week, we are on holiday and we dont have a child yet. His tiredness cant be compared to theirs they have an 8 week old baby. What is wrong with napping while he can? We have wanted this baby for so long. We want to remain positive about the experience even if it will be hard in the beginning. SIL actually said that pregnant, birthing and new mothers have no dignity. I drew the line there
Today we are going to look for a pushchair. Very exciting.
Gin I've joined Sw16 family selling/buying/giving on Facebook. It's good you should have a look. I bought a digital monitor and 3 stair gates yesterday for £35. I've also sent a request to Streatham mums network but haven't heard back from that one yet. Finally Facebook is fun ( yoni worriers) and useful (buying and selling).
Hello to everyone Have a good bank holiday. X
Ps I went for the 4d scan groupon in the end. I'll book it for before 30 weeks which is only a couple of weeks!
Oh dildals what a day! I think babies wait to poo on you as there are not many ways that they can make jokes ;) I'm so pleased she's doing well bf. How awful having to go back to the labour ward, I'm sorry they weren't more useful, and more thoughtful.
shaz I totally agree, nap while you can. I hate it this competitive tiredness, and people always saying it will be awful etc etc. I mean, they have two kids, so they can't hate it that much! How sad that you don't like your sil.
Drumroll please....... We bought our first purchase, a cot!! In kiddicare sale. It was all very overwhelming, all these questions about car seats and travel systems and teats. So we stuck with the cot for now. shaz you do realise they can't crawl for a while so you won't need stairgates seriously, I'm in awe of your organisation.
dildals yes, that is a favourite trick of babies! Did you get some relief for your breast? Sounds like a clogged duct, I'm a bit surprised it took so many hours to sort that out. Very painful but it should pass.
I had to go back to the labour ward where DS was born briefly when having some antenatal appointments and that made me feel nervous 5 years after the event and even when I had a completely positive outcome overall so I'm not surprised you found being on the labour ward stressful. Birth is such an emotional experience, I can't think of anything else that compares. When I saw the MW consultant about my home birth and I was describing what had happened with DS I got teary and she said, "You know, these feelings never leave you" and I found that quite reassuring as I had been feeling a bit silly getting worked up so long after the event.
shazza you mentioned having your mum visit because DH has a show on - I am very lucky in that my mother is a calm, quiet person who knows when to just get on with things. We also pretty well agree on most aspects of baby rearing so I don't have to deal with her telling me off for holding the baby too much (which has happened to a friend of mine with her mother). She is also marvellous with my DS and quite happy to do mundane things like picking him up from school and making his breakfast. So having her around postpartum is ideal but if it were otherwise I would probably think twice. She is not perfect but in this respect she pretty well is!
keep congrats on the cot purchase, at least that is quite straightforward! I am trying to motivate myself to buy stuff for DD and generally prepare but I am finding it hard. I really just want to lie around and do nothing. I have to take an impromptu 6 days off work (which actually means working in bursts when I can justify plonking DS in front of the telly) because DS doesn't go back to school until the 4th and there's no childcare available. So I am working this weekend to make up for it and I am not enjoying it. I might just go to the pool now for a swim, which might help to relax me.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend and it is not too rainy where you are (there were torrential downpours here).
Dildals loving the mega poop story, Bella is a little star sounds like boob time went well too. Has the breast pain eased today? I can not imagine how upsetting it must be for you to have to go up to the labour ward. Hope all is going well today, love the fb photo of Bella little hand.
Shazza sorry to hear about the insensitive comments from SIL, we get the same from my DB and SIL. I just ignore them as every child is different and they seem to have forgotten they had a breeze with DC1, but DC2 is the devil child so they have him fresh in their minds. How did buggy purchasing go? We loved the Kiddicare experience, very overwhelming, the staff were so helpful and even showed DH how to fit car seats and bases in our own car. They got us free cups of coffee and cake in their cafe while we were deciding. So we purchased our buggy, car seats, car bases and other bits & bobs all with 10% off.
Keep we have decided to go for nursery furniture from Argos as we can get a full set plus additional cot the same. Did you go for wood or white?
Have you got bedding too? Do you need those bumper things? I am not sure what bedding we actually need other than those cellular blankets, any advice Mariana?
We have a family Christening today with DHs family so no doubt loads of questions about how we are getting on. I am going to take a few scan photos in case anyone wants to see them, I am always a bit nervous of boring people with stuff like that. I now need to find something to wear, I am really conscious of wanting to disguise my bump best as possible. I feel really self conscious at the moment that people will be commenting how big I am or not. I suppose there is no getting away from it as people comment regardless.
Hope everyone else has a lovely weekend planned.
How is your boob now? Do they suspect mastitis or do you have no fever? I hope it's 'just' a blocked duct, these can by eye-wateringly painful. Did you manage to drain it?
Revisiting the ward is traumatic. We had to get post mortem results in an office on the delivery ward and I unexpectedly found myself shaking and crying. With my subsequent pregnancies my consultant offered to transfer me to another hospital but I stayed at that one because despite what had happened, there was no fault ascribed to any of the staff. The situation is not clear cut for you and it would definitely seem better, to me anyway, that you not deliver there again. You have a choice at least, in London.
Yes, the nappy off too soon conundrum. Speaking of nappies I have a Top Tip for you all courtesy of a friend. I was complaining about the cost of nappies and how annoying it is to 'waste' one if the baby poos right after you've put it on. She said save the expensive ones for night time when you know it'll be on for longer and you need something high performance and just use cheaper own brand ones in the day e.g. Asda, Lidl etc.
Hope everyone's enjoying the weekend. We're heading out for a picnic seeing as it's sunny up here.
Oh dildals so sorry you had a difficult day. Its surprising sometimes and can catch you out when you least expect it. Bella sounds like a trooper, congrats on your first splat attack
of many! Hope the pain is easing today...as someone who hasn't bf before I have to say it sounds much more complicated and painful than my dictator mw would have me believe!
keep congrats on the first purchase. For us IVF worriers it's one of the first acknodwledgments that This Is Actually Going To Happen! We love kiddicare, looking forward to feeling confident enough to go on a spending spree. I have seen a lovely Moses basket in a second hand children's shop in my village that I keep looking at but not quite there yet...I bought five packs of baby wipes the other day as they were on offer and still worried about that being too babylike even though we use them for dd1!
shazza I have similarly annoying family on both my side and DHs. Hope a good moan at the end of the day is helping you de-stress, it's so rude when people close to you tell you everything. People love to tell you how difficult child-rearing is to make themselves sound like geniuses. In general I think being a parent is mostly fucking awesome with a few interesting days in between to make memories that you can laugh at later. You'll do it your way and love it, fuck em, sounds to me like she is a bit worried that you will be stepping on her 'parent-of-a-beloved grandchild' toes. Napping while you can is an ace idea! DH is out visiting the horses in the field down the road with dd1
am total country bumblefuck an am planning a nap shortly. You sound super organised, I was when I had dd1 and it was great because when she arrived I was able to just relax and spend time with her without running out of stuff or having to watch our money too much on maternity leave because we already had things. I think planning is good for the soul too, it's a long way back down the road after convincing yourself you might never have children and buying things always helped me to accept it was about to happen.
sweetie we got our furniture from a mixture of babies r us and ikea last time, although that was before kiddicare had been invented. I liked cot bumpers as dd used to spin around a lot in her sleep and I was worried she would get her hand or foot stuck in the bars, but I didn't like the huge padded teddy bear ones so we got some plain white ones from idea that did a grand job, only about £8 each I think. We're getting two idea cots this time as we can't fit two cot beds in with the sofa that is in the room, and I think I may need the sofa when there are two screaming babies in the middle of the night! Def going with the mountain buggy duet, I think e sale ends on Tues but it's still too early for us.
I'd second mariana's cheap nappy rule. I changed dd loads in the day and supermarket own brand were fab. I think we used pampers in the night as huggies were a bit squidgy for me but most are great. Hoping to try cloth nappies in the daytime this time I think but need to look into it.
Have had a lovely day...took dd to the theatre to see aliens love underpants (awesome book if you haven't discovered it...dd and I are addicted to kids books, need to do a list of good ones sometime soon) and then went out to a nice restaurant for dinner in the big city - I even went n a tram and everything! The theatre was ace, three mums around us breasted through the show which I thought was lovely and it was really chilled. Made a nice change from being out in a play centre where everyone is bawling at their kids and arguing and felt like a Good Parent for once (doesn't happen very often).
Hope everyone is having a nice chilled weekend, hello to expat, mrsHY, motor, nokaroonie, buzzy and everyone else I have missed!
shazza I can only say I agree with crisps about your SIL and brother. It sounds as though they are either being extraordinarily cynical or are unconsciously trying to keep you in your place as the 'clueless ones'. Yes raising children is hard and tiring but it's really not unrelenting misery! And of course you don't know what it's like before you do it but then that's the same for most things. I did find before I had DS that people enjoyed patronising me about how much my life would change. As it was, it changed a lot in some ways and not at all in others. It's just an easy thing for people to feel superior about.
crisps glad you had a nice day in the city w dd. DH had the honours of taking DS to a playcentre this morning as it was pouring with rain. They are pretty horrific places.
Having thought about it, the real reason why I'm reluctant to start planning and buying for the baby is that it necessitates clearing a lot of rubbish out of DS's room and moving things around (we're moving him into a bigger bedroom which will then be a nursery for him and the baby) and I lack the will. However, I did throw a bunch of rubbish out of our shed, which is a start.
I'm thinking of cloth nappies as well, has anyone tried this? We used disposables with DS because we had a tiny flat and couldn't face it being filled floor to ceiling with drying nappies.
I took DP to babies r us (the butchering of the English language with the name of this shop gets on my f'king knackers). I had his attention for about ten minutes, the big tool, before he almost wandered off muttering something about wanting to find Star Wars bedding for the nipper. I can see that baby furniture shopping (and accompanying bedding, of course) is something I'll have to do with my mum instead. Fuck only knows what he would put the nipper in if it was left to him. When I broached the subject of us having to purchase bedroom furniture last night, he said 'oh don't worry about that, I'll make it something'. Erm no you won't. You will have over five hundred bucks to me and I'll sort it out. Why do blokes have such a short attention span ?
Anyway.....dildals Bella's poop explosion amused me greatly. Her anties wholeheartedly approve of her behaviour. However, I got really sad for you reading about your trauma at having to go back onto the ward (and yours mariana). Steer clear - don't make it harder for yourself than this already is. I hope you are feeling a bit better today...these things obviously take time and you're doing brilliantly, considering what you've all been through.
shazza your SIL sounds bloody ghastly. You and DP will do things your way and will be awesome parents so she can go and stick her head in a bucket of pigswill. I reckon the girls are right - she doesn't want to share the breeding limelight with you. Well, tough. . Are you spending the whole week with her ?
crispywispy my sweary MN double. Fuckitty fuck fuck, fucky fucky fuck. Sounds like you had a great day with DD. Do you have a MW who graduated from Tit School ? I have to say, I am quite sceptical about the Tit Police and their patronising ways because not everyone can BF (or BF exclusively) and I hate it when they are then made to feel like a failure. I was researching the other night about BF, mixed bottle and boob and mixed boob and bottle formula feeding (just because I like to know what all of the options are !) and happened upon the nct website. Well, I have to say that they seem part of the Tit Stasi - what is everyone else's experience ? mariana I think you said that you don't agree with their stance on everything -is this why ? Sorry to ask, but I am so curious about all this and really would like to read-up on it all before I give birth. Also, if the nct classes are going to be like one long sermon of the virtues of the mammaries (and that you are a slovenly slapper who is bound to have their child taken into care if you can't give your baby the boob) then I will give it a miss as I'm bound to be thrown out for doing a Gregg Wallace.
fairy I think you mixed it up with a bottle with DS. Was this easy to introduce ?
mariana top nappy tip. I also love your list as it has really helped me to sort out what I need to get and when. I reckon if I ever met you in real life, I would just grab hold of your right leg and never let go
sweetie have a lovely time at the christening.
keep woohoo on the cot purchase.
mrsh expat motor and buzzbuzzbuzzBUZZ how is it going y'all ? And anyone else I have forgotten.
Oh yeah....while I'm here rambling like a mental, make sure you check your account with your gas/electricity providers. Mine were holding onto over a thousand pounds of my money. I'm not joking either. I had to provide a meter reading for both (as I hadn't done it for months) and logged onto my account only to find that my account was massively in credit. Even with up to date meter readings, they still owed me over a grand. Now, the timing of the rebate is fabulous but.....they are such a bunch of robbing whorebags that they won't refund you unless you approach them. It's just worth checking.....you never know. Xx
I missed everyone's early morning posts, must have kept the browser window open for too long without refreshing.
Argh at your SIL shazza, I hate hate hate that attitude. My BIL is like that and it drove me fucking nuts. No advice but much sympathy. It doesn't stop either as after I had DD1 he kept saying 'oh wait until you have two... Ho ho ho' while I cursed him.
Sweetie Baby bedding: I absolutely swear by sleeping bags, but they have to be of a certain weight to go in them. 7lb something I think. I bought a swaddle wrap from Gro this time which was good but you can do the sane with a cellular blanket. The Gro wrap is stretchy and easier to use though they can still escape, kick everything off and then wail piteously. Trenchlet now has a fitted sheet on the cot mattress then she goes in her grobag on top of that and that's it. I have grobags from DD1 going up to 2 years and then I'll put her in a bed. The bags are good because they can't kick them off, you know how warm they are and it's easy to adjust clothing layers to make sure they don't overheat, and eventually they get the message that once they're in their bag it's sleep time and it helps them settle. When you're breastfeeding you just lift the baby out and feed them and because they stay in their bag they stay warm and snuggly. Grobag ones are good, wash and dry well but are expensive although you can almost always get them in TKMaxx. I have 2.5 tog and 1 tog in each size.
keep, well the cot is a very good start! The travel stuff is overwhelming, I'd just decide a maximum cost and go for whatever you can get for that. Some are better than others but none will be truly awful. Even my
shit 3rd hand Chicco functioned. It just wasn't as whizzy as my current Mamas and Papas one, which presumably isn't as whizzy as a Bugaboo.
The general safety advice is never to use cot bumpers as they are seen as a suffocation risk. However, they are widely on sale because as crisps says, babies do get their arms and legs stuck through the bars and wake themselves up. I was too nervous to use bumpers so I improvised and using net curtain I fashioned a wide band around the cot that I wove in and out of the bars and then tied very tightly so it was taut enough to stop limbs going through the bars but impossible to suffocate the baby. It looked pretty nuts but worked. I could provide detailed instructions on how to do this if anyone wants.
fairy your mum sounds like mine. She's great to have around and is coming to help me when DH buggers off again next week. I feel for you with the childcare / school gap. We have 5 whole days when nursery has finished but school yet to start. I'm going to have to decide on a billion activities to keep dd1 busy. Otherwise she is quite capable of throwing a five day tantrum with occasional sleeps. Mind you, I had her cleaning the bathroom floor earlier so she is easily entertained.
sweetie, hope the christening went ok and you weren't too annoyed by people prodding you.
crisps, you're terribly cultured ain't ya?! We have the Aliens / Underpants book although it's not one of DDs favourites. That's a great idea though to do a list of decent ones as there's so 18 carat shite out there masquerading as children's books.
Mega post here and more to come... (It's a long feed!)
noks have you been smoking something we went to B&Q and Barry was looking at all the Thomas the Tank Engine stuff at the tit stasi, I won't feel like a failure if I can't manage to use the boob, I plan to give it a good go though you are right for some it just doesn't happen
shazza I totally disagree with your DP, you are a pregnant woman not a fucking martyr, why do you have to put up with her shite just because she is married to your brother I would have ripped her tongue out by now, me hormonal absolutely not
This is something that bothers you and rightly so, I think they are being totally disrespectful, your SIL sounds very insecure and competitive, perhaps she is worried that the dynamics in the family will change when you have the youngest grandchild, just speculation on my part,
I think you need to put something in writing saying that you are happy that they have 2 lovely children to be cousins to shazzlett but this is your one and only time at being a new parent and you would like to experience and discover all the highs and lows yourselves. Also state that if you feel you need some advice in the future you will ask, right now you just need their love and support,finish up by saying you are looking forward to seeing them sometime soon.
If it is writing then you have a copy of what you have said so they can't say you were rude or unreasonable.
dildals sorry about your experience, I have to say I was surprised taht there is little healthcare available on the weekends, back home it is very different,I hope they checked you out, I can understand being back on the labour ward was upsetting, I felt the same going back to EPAU, never wanted t go back there again.
Your poo story has made me decide that I need rugs in my place as I have stupid light coloured carpets
fairy I have some cloth nappies given to me and plan to use them, will have the other kind for when we go out, we need to swap our rooms over but the thought of having to sort it is too much to think of right now, plus where to put cat
crisps glad yo had a lovely day with DD, I shall add that book to my list
sweetie I hope the christening went ok
We have been busy with DIY,
fixing up the mess from the new windows Barry has done a grand job on the sills and the cat agreed as she left her paw mark of satisfaction behind, I have cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom, and I am now totally knackered, I did catch up with a couple of old work colleagues and came home sober from seeing them for the first time ever.
Breastfeeding. Hmmm. I am a fairly committed breast feeder but I can't fucking stand the way it's pushed down your throat and the way formula feeding is demonised. Whatever you do, you are feeding your baby and that is all that should matter. I would feel less angry about the hard sell on breast feeding if they would at least acknowledge that it's not alway easy. It is for some people but it certainly wasn't for me in the early weeks at least. I'll be honest and say I have no idea how you'd EBF twins. I see how you could express and mix feed but not EBF, surely you would do nothing else. Also mixed feeding is never mentioned when that can be a nice compromise.
fairy, never tried cloth nappies. My sister did and got on fine with them. I feared the initial set up cost and also the tumble dryer costs. I wish I didn't rape the planet every time I change my baby but I rape the planet in so many other ways too it seems but a drop in the ocean. It's Pampers and Boots own all the way here.
noks get off my leg woman! I've already said I'm uncomfortable with the way bf is promoted and I didn't do NCT classes so this is only what I've heard but yes, they seem quite full on. The main reason I'm not keen though is their stance on pain relief and interventions in labour. Now they swear blind they aren't judgemental and you can't really see it in their literature but again, anecdotally, I have heard some of their group leaders attitudes that absolutely appalled me, really scaremongering about epidurals and sections. They did used to be called the Natural childbirth trust and I think that seems to still be their remit, albeit unofficially. Natural childbirth works for some people and that's great, but it does have a tendency to kill women and babies and I strongly suspect that neither I nor DD1 would be here if it weren't for epidurals and forceps.
Anyway. I'll stop ranting. We had a lovely day out and I prowled round a few village churches. I was moved to tears by gravestones listing four or five children from the same families who all died in infancy. So sad and yet so common then.
Am now about to have an enormous glass of wine and watch DH watching the cricket.
x posts with mariana thanks for the tip about the grobags, did make think about tomatoes though
noks I had to go back to a course one day a week 3 weeks after DS was born. So DH looked after him from 8:30-7pm that day - he was freelance at the time so it wasn't really difficult. I would express milk at the break times, morning and afternoon and DH would bring DS to me at lunchtime (the college wasn't far from our flat) so I could give him a guzzle then. In between he had a bottle of expressed milk. He had no problem with 'nipple confusion' or anything like that but as I said before, he was a dream to BF from the start. It was a bit of a drag expressing in the loos at the college during the breaks when everyone else would be grabbing a cappucino or a cigarette though. I also found that I would sometimes get the equivalent of a shy bladder, if other people were in the loo and it was quiet the milk just wouldn't flow (the pump I had was quite squeaky and I used to get very embarrassed wondering what the hell people thought i was doing in there!) It also wasn't so great carrying a breast pump around with me along with my books but I managed to keep it unobtrusive most of the time.
He only got a bottle that one day a week and I expressed to keep up the supply so it didn't affect that either. I finished the course when he was about 5 months old and I didn't give him a bottle again until he started nursery at 8 months. I started back at work 3 days a week and quickly realised I just could not manage expressing along with work, it was too much planning and effort. So I stopped after a few months and luckily DS decided at the same time he only liked formula in the bottle so that's what he had at nursery. I still BF'd him the other 4 days a week exclusively and it was fine. I only would sometimes get quite engorged by the end of a work day.
Sorry v long post about BFing! BTW I had the opposite experience with my gas/electricity provider, they suddenly told me in June that I owed them £300! But they've never actually asked for it nor have they adjusted my direct debit so I'm just laying low.
mariana you are, as always right about the grobags, they rule. Such a brilliant idea and no worry ever about the little one getting tangled up or uncovered and as you say you can lift them out of the cot at night for a feed and back down with no probs. I also justified disposables by thinking well I am harming the planet so much more just by producing another first world resource guzzler so really the harm is minor in comparison but this time I am wondering if I should be more strict. DH is totally against it and he was in charge of nappy changing previously so perhaps I should defer to him or else risk having to take that over as well.
I love the image of DD cleaning the bathroom floor with you! DS is also v keen to 'help' and sometimes I am able to exploit him quite shockingly. I wonder how long this will last. Is your DD starting reception? I hope it goes well. DS had a great reception teacher and it all went smoothly last year but it was a bit scary at first (for both of us).
Fairy your DS sounds like the perfect breast feeder! I don't think I'll ever have a day off until Trenchlet is fully weaned.
Yes DD is starting reception, she was only 4 last week so she is the youngest in her year. She's quite mature physically (she's strangely tall considering I'm 5'5" and DH is 5'9") and academically, but she's very much a 3 year old emotionally.
buzzy I would never dare put stuff in writing like that. Perhaps it's better to be explicit though. I try to be quite open with my siblings but it has mixed results. I don't live their spouses as much as I might love them...
We've just sat outside and drank a bottle of wine. Trenchlet slept on DH the whole time. Was really lovely. And he's off tomorrow so yet more joint parenting. Hurrah!
mariana were you a bit tipsy last night ? . Thanks for the NCT heads-up. I'll seek some reviews of the classes where I am and then make a decision. One of the advantages of doing a class is that it would be lovely to meet people in the same boat as us , but then I think that I'll do that anyway eventually.
fairy thanks for the Boob Bulletin. Very useful information. I will definitely try the boob. I think that there are many options between either the boob or the bottle and just in case I'm having a bit of trouble, I would like to have these options in my mind other than 'give the nipper a bottle' and take him/her off the boob. My mate has recently had a bit of a hard time with all this which is why I'm keen to research it now.
buzz I am high on life my darling. We went to Winchester today. We were shown around the cathedral by a lady called Judy who was so posh, she called pizza PIT-ZA.
Where is shazza ? Has she been arrested for shoving a succession of cream pies in her SIL's face ?
I can always set up a 'free the mumsnet shazza one' page on fb if we need to bail shazza out. I'm no stranger to in-law rage myself, I think it gets worse when you have a child as you have more to clash over!
nokkityfuckity hee to the tit Stasi. I generally don't like being told what to do so sometimes want to not bf the twins just to piss mw off. My own mum thinks bf is a bit 'unnatural' though which always makes me laugh. Am going to try to do what I can but also will allow myself to sleep and eat at the same time. Have also just and a mahoosive bill from the 'Leccy so you must be a lucky one!
fairy if the twins are like your EC then I'll have no problem I think. Good to hear some positive stories as most of my friends have had a bit of a nightmare bfing.
Def going to give cloth nappies a go but not exclusively...mainly for when I am at home I think. Our bins are only emptied every two weeks and used to reek when dd was in nappies so can't imagine how it will be with double the amount. We have a utility room so can keep them in there
along with all the other shit we seem to accumulate
Have found an NCT alternative in my area...never went with DD and always regretted it but feel a bit of a nana going when I already have a child. It's called lazy daisy antenatal...they have classes all over. A mix of antenatal yoga and some general hype birthing stuff but is mainly about having a positive birth experience....living out in the sticks means there is a dsistinct lack of anything like that within a 15 miles radius but this is just up the road. It seems quite open minded and one of DHs friend says it is good...only £30 for six weeks too so a lot cheaper. The lady who runs the courses in my area said she had a bad first labour experience and did the classes to make sure she still felt positive about the second one which seems on my wavelength so am going to give it a go.
In laws are collecting dd for the day today so am going to go in to work to set up for next week and then sit on my arse all afternoon reading and generally doing sod all. Can't wait, am exhausted and ms has returned with a vengeance, the bastard. Have only put on 1kilo from the start of oregnancy so far due to all the puking despite having a big bump. A, going to be a size zero with a six pack from all the heaving by the end I reckon. I'm a bit worried I'm not big enough but mw and hospital seem to be happy.
List of books we love: (excuse lack of capitals, iPad has a fit when I try to punctuate properly)
The Tiger who came to tea
The snail and the whale (my favourite!), sharing a shell, tabby mctat, and most Julia Donaldson ones but these are our favourites
Giraffes can't dance
Each peach pair plum (esp for the smaller ones)
aliens love underpants
We're going on a bear hunt.
Dd has a huge bookshelf which is full already, we read a few every day. I've just started reading the faraway tree Enid Blyton books to her which are tripper than I remember but still awesome!
crisps I read the snail and the whale to Bella the other day! :-)
Question for the already-mums. What did you do about blinds in the nursery? The advice is to make it as dark as possible, I was thinking of buying those black out blinds that you can suction cup to the window, rather than buying special black out blinds. My experience with various 'black out' blinds is that they black out jack shit.
Oh and Shazza I was thinking of organising a meetup to check out the South London sling library. Not in the immediate future but maybe in the next 5-6 weeks or so? Before Bella comes home and I have no time to shake my tail. Or do you think it is better to go Mit Baby?
Crisps that alternative to NCT sounds great. Had to laugh at your mum not think bf is natural but she's probably that generation that hardly ever bf. My mum did bf but says she was considered a bit of a hippy for doing so. All my in-laws think I'm odd for having done it at all. Especially until the baby is one! My 93 year old grandma bottle fed back in the 1950s and is always telling me that Trenchlet has such long feeds because I'm not producing enough milk and should get her on a bottle.
Dildals They'll have (scary lifelike) dolls at the sling library.
I had black out blinds that fitted to a small bay window using Velcro tape. They were excellent at blacking out the room but a bit of a pain to open and close because it was three windows in one. Mine also had suckers which made them portable and I did take them on holiday with us. The trouble with totally blacking out your baby's room is that when you go and stay elsewhere and the room isn't blacked out they will wake at 5am or whenever it gets light, DD1 still does. For that reason I'm not going with a full on black out approach this time and have a black out roller blind fitted in the nursery, which as you say, isn't hugely effective but ok..
Tiddler - agree that all Julia Donaldson's are good.
Hairy Maclary, Slinky Malinky etc. the whole lot have been popular here.
Ooh slinky malinky? Is that an actual book, if so then it must be one of the only ones we haven't got!
Re blackout blinds...I bought some from Wilkos
secret guilty pleasure, my favourite shop! for about £10 that we fitted ourselves, with curtains in front it does a pretty good job. The man from hillarys said theirs wouldn't black any more light out. I did hear about magic Whiteboard which is a stationery product that can be cut to size and just stuck onto the windows for total blackout but I don't think it's something to remove every day...I guess it depends on whether you would want to use the nursery in the day or not.
dildals I love the snail....the bit where the snail says she feels so small is lovely!
am blubbering fidiot. Try giraffes can't dance next if you don't have it already, it has a similarly lovely bit at the end which gives you a nice squishy feeling.
Sitting on my fat arse is going well...have read 5 trashy magazines and caught up with emmerdale so far. Have a couple of hours left before pils return and raise their judgmental eyebrows at me feeding dd vegetables and expecting her to sit to the table. I think people of our age were raised in the eighties on formula in a bottle, crispy pancakes and oven chips and so anything remotely 'good' seems a bit hippy!
I'm not in jail. Just a caravan in Torquay with my 'rents, DP and darling niece 1. We are actually having a lovely time although darling niece is very constipated. This is nearly 3rd day. I'm hoping that you mothers out there might have some words of wisdom please? Bless her little heart she is away from home and in pain. She loves nanny and Grampy and aunty shazza and is good as gold and I want to be able to help her.
Thanks for all support re SIL from hell. Thankfully we are on our own now. She is a nightmare. I think that it is a very astute observation to say that I am held as the hapless one. I've always been the one that is all high heels and no sense.
Keep congrats on the cot. Major purchase. Are you settled in now? How is Kip?
Fairy are you enjoying your week? I'm hoping to use cloth nappies eventually. I thought we'd start with disposables as there will be enough to think about. Someone has promised us some but I'm not sure which brand.
Sweetie how was the christening? Be proud of your bump. I'm sure it is beautiful and you are carrying your lovely babies.
Mariana I've become intimately acquainted with hairy maclary over these past few days.
Crisps lazy daisy sounds perfect and a right bargain. The theatre sounds fun.
Nokity Noks I feel for you with DP. I thought I had the biggest Star Wars fan. I had to steer him away from a very fancy futuristic looking Quinny because it looked liked a storm trooper.
Buzzy very true re SIL. I'm not sure she will listen to me. She is a law into herself.
Dildals I'll defo come to the sling library.
Hello to everyone else. We haven't heard from ceara for a while. And expat you are nearly there.
Very quickly as for me I finally bought a pushchair. The mountain buggy cosmopolitan. I love it. It's abit bigger than I was looking for but it's great.
Oh and I was approached by a woman who asked if I would be interested in doing one born every minute! She said I had beautiful hair <glows with pride>. Anyway I said that I didn't think that a Hypno home birth would be dramatic enough for them.
I'd better go now. They are all waiting for me to eat.
Have a good evening. Xx
What?! shaz you absolutely HAVE to do it! Hypnobirth would be great for them!
Am gonna watch the Midwives tonight as its set where I'm giving birth. <quakes a little>
Will catch up properly tomorrow but Omg shaz!
Do it shaz! It would be ace!
Re constipation...my only remedies would be apple juice, warm bath (or shower on tummy if there is a shower in the caravan?) and clockwise massage on the abdomen. Theres a good naturalish remedy called calfig or califig that you can get from supermarkets, quite gentle if it is for a child. Hope she feels better soon!
shazza you have a Yoscar. You are a member of the Yoni Warriors. If anyone was destined for foof superstardom, it's you. DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT
crisps I think I need to let go of mariana's leg for a bit and cuddle yours. That Lazy Daisy thingamy sounds right up my alleyway. I have found a class which isn't too far away from me and will ring the lady tomorrow. Oh and top slobbing about today, by the way. I was nodding in agreement with your schedule this afternoon. I caught-up with the first episode of the Great British Bake-Off this afternoon and decided that Mel and Sue need to be repeatedly punched in their condescending, supercilious, patronising faces until they are surely dead. They actually made me quite angry for the rest of day. They are about as funny as uncontrollable bowel movements or ecoli. They are most dfinitely on the bus/in the lift.
keep I saw that midwives programme was on but am avoiding anything like that as I don't want to wcare this shit out of myself . It is any good or should we all avoid it ?
dildals how are you doing ? Xx
Hello to everyone else.
mariana I shall be back on your leg soon. Promise.
shazza you have to do it
noks it makes my skin crawl when people say pizza like that, learn to speak bloody english
I will catch up on the last couple of weeks of news tomorrow - wow, lots to read.
Sorry to have disappeared. It's been a bit of a month - there have been three deaths in the family in the space of as many weeks; the last of my grandparents' generation of the family leaving the building all at once. I guess they wanted company for the journey or something... But as I said, a bit of a month. Bizarrely, infertility rage resurfaced at one point ("if I'd got pregnant in the normal way and time they'd have met great-grandchild / great-great-niece-or-nephew (and vice versa)") - but I guess that's the grieving process doing it's thing. I don't want to drag the thread down so nuff said on sad news.
So pleased Bella is doing well. Yaay!
So, the midwives programme. I watched a bit. The news in brief is we are all completely screwed, the way to go for an easy birth in 3 - 6 hours flat is to get knocked up at 16; older women ie over 30 ie us, don't labour so well and find it harder to relax and have more difficulties. Oh and we sometimes have to shell out thousands to get pregnant in the first place (as opposed to two shags and one split condom and hey presto, baby on way). I may be mis-summarising though, as I had to switch channels 20 mins in to avoid DH starting to foam at the mouth regarding the invisibility of fathers, which has become a bit of a hobby horse!
ceara sorry to hear your news about your older relatives. I often wish my grandma had met my DDs but as she died when I was twenty something it was never really going to happen.
Shazza get you and your beautiful hair! I'll be the voice of dissent and say don't do it. You don't need the additional stress it would surely cause. I have a long standing gripe about the ethics of reality TV though so I'm always going to be in the 'no' camp. You're all very brave! I still could never watch OBEM or the Midwives. They were filming that in my hospital and I was really annoyed as the arrangement was that you had to opt out rather than opt in. <rants away>
Agree with crisps re constipation. Also sitting on the bathroom floor while they sit on the loo and telling them the story of the three little pigs.
Slinky Malinky is indeed a book, it's my favourite Hairy McLairy book.
Thanks for the constipation tips. We were up at 6.30 this morning. Not too bad bless her. She still hasn't been to the loo. I'll try to get some of the stuff you suggest crisps today. We've tried massaging her tummy and giving her fruit and avoiding binding foods. She keeps crying, walking on tip toe and sticking her bum out so we know she needs to go. Trouble is she is holding it in now cause she knows it's going to hurt.
Sorry to disappoint the majority but I'd already decided that groomed or not the world isn't quite ready for my foof . I've got enough to think about without a camera zoomed in. I can't deny I wasn't flattered by the hair compliment though
They approached me in kiddicare in Bristol so you could all hang out there if you are interested. It started a debate on the way home about whether couples get paid to do it and how much they would have to pay before I agreed!
Talking of Bristol, how is your bro crisps.
And ceara I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. It's the circle of life. As one generation is born another one sadly ends. My thoughts are with you and your family. Xx
Morning all! Wowzers I've missed lots of chat over le weekend.
shazz pleased to hear you are having a nice hols. I assume we're not meant to give kids castor oil any more?! I had a friend whose mum used to feed her that laxative chocolate... Well done on the buggy purchase! I need to get mine from my colleague. Oh and thanks for the tip re FB groups for the hood. I've joined but not managed to secure any bargains yet.
ceara so sorry to hear about all your losses over the last month. I lost my 2 remaining grandparents last year and it made me feel my barrenness more keenly. Although this wasn't helped by a great aunt ambushing me at the wake and telling me to hurry up and have kids. Not what you want to hear after 2 failed ivfs! Is your 20 week scan coming up soon?
I agree with you mariana re OBEM. I still can't watch it (and I'm foaming at the mouth at ceara's summary of the other one!) and also feel like all the world and his dog have seen up my foof, so I'd rather not actually show it to the rest of the nation!
Am loving the book recommendations. I like the stick man one too.
noks I quite like the GBBO Mel and Sue sandwich! I 'm also enjoying playing the game of which of the young females is Paul H making moves on, the randy silverback. It all just makes me wanna eat cake though <greedy bitch face>
crisps am jealous of your slob day! Trashy mags and crap tv sound ace. I need one, but we seem to be cramming everything in over the next few months. I wish I'd only put in a kilo, though the puking sounds miz.
dildals sounds like Bella is doing incredibly well. I can't believe she's already on the boob - sounds like she'll be properly feeding before long. How many weeks is she now? I must send some FB friend requests as need my Bella pic fix!
Waves to everyone else I've missed up thread.
Am still chuckling at the tit Stasi thing. Hearing your experiences of BF has been really interesting. I feel terrible how when I ask people if they BF, they feel they have to justify why they didn't. I hate that the tit stasis have done that to women.
I seem to be going through the crying phase shazz did! I cried when I got in last night as some old bitch wouldn't let me sit down on the bus cos she was saving a seat for her friend (I was VERY cross too ) and then I cried this morning at the Caesar dog food ad, with the old man, his dead wife and cute dog. Mr G thinks he's living with a mad woman.
Can I ask if anyone else has been finding their undercarriage rather, er damp, in pregnancy? I seem to have days when my pants are actually damp! Mr G tells me it's probably sweat, now that I'm 'larger', or it could be discharge, wee or
in my crazy lady moments amniotic fluid! It's clear and smells like discharge or of not a lot.
Sorry to gross you all out first thing. Hope no one is eating their breakfast!
I did switch to the 'Midwives' then wisely decided this was not going to be a good idea.
ginestas yes, there is a lot more wetness down there in pregnancy. I had that too. It's to do with your increased oestrogen. It's even got a name, but I forgot what it was. Tell DH it's a good thing, no need for lube!
Bella is still quite a way off BF proper! It's all about establishing the association between her tube feed and the sensation of being on the breast, smelling my milk, getting some milk in her mouth etc. She can suck for a couple of seconds, which is a stirling effort given her age, but she can't sustain it properly (yet). Premmies are so sleepy as well. Yesterday she did really well at her 12 o'clock feed. Then didn't do anything remotely useful at her other feeds! Apart from a few licks of my nipple. The whole BF thing cracks me up. On one of the feeds she was too busy coiling a big mustard poo out to concentrate. I know this from the red face and all the groaning noises she makes finished off by the shaking off the leg, like a dreaming dog. Now, who would want to have dinner if you're having a massive poo I ask you?! A lady also came by to take her hand and foot print for a tile. She didn't like her foot being put on the cold clay and pushed so she cried AND farted at the lady. Brilliant. I just couldn't stop giggling about it afterwards. I am still laughing about it writing it down.
shazza I still need to do research re single buggy ... pff .. there's a kiddicare in Croydon so maybe just swing by, road test a few and buy it.
Oh and my mum is coming over again! YAY! I need some help sorting out this nursery and she's just looking for an excuse to come over and see Bella.
noks I thought only posh Dutch people said pit-zah. Are there actually posh English people that do that? And how come they are not too posh to actually eat pizza. Should they not be eating grouse or pheasant?
ceara I'm so sorry to hear your news. My DH's grandparents also died within a week of each other (a long time ago) - I don't think it's that unusual. Lots of love to you and your family.
shaz why aren't your DN's parents there too? Are you practising? Hope the little thing manages a big fat poo soon... We are almost settled in I'd say, though have a distinct lack of furniture. It's been much more stressful than I'd anticipated. I start work on Monday and am a bit nervous about the whole thing and how I'll cope, but hey, it's only for 9 weeks. I had a stress the other day that the baby will some early and I'll have done like 2 weeks of work, but then thought que sera sera.
I'm supposed to be having a whopping cough vaccine soon I think. Must phone the GP to see if they've forgotten. Has anyone else had it yet?
dildals I love to hear of Bella being cheeky. She sounds adorable. It'll be great to have your mum around I'd think. You must be fairly exhausted (understatement).
noks I have to say I kind of enjoyed the Midwives. I was astonished/outraged at the young girls (16) though - very scary. One didn't realise she was preggers till 7 months, then within 2 months she's got a new baby. Poor thing was totally overwhelmed. I know what ceara means about the lack of fathers thing, but the 48 yo had a lovely partner - it was the teenagers where the dads weren't involved.
In fact I have just this morning started to read the chapter on labour, just to be prepared in case anything happens too early and I'm just clueless. It's a very odd feeling not knowing when this momentous event will actually happen, isn't it?
expat must be having the baby soon. When's the date? Good luck x a million if you're still reading.
sweetie we went for a white cot from kiddicare. I felt white would be easier to fake-match if/when we buy something else furniture-wise. As Kip'll be in our room till we move house in 6 months or so we have not bought any other furniture. We got the mattress too as it was half price, so a bargain in the sale too. But not bought anything else like sheets etc. I hear the cot bumpers are a no-no as well, due to suffocation. But then it seems odd that they sell them... I like Mariana's DIY!
fairy and buzzy I really want to try cloth nappies too. Not sure where to start, I might get one of those hire kits that some websites do, then you can see what if anything you like. DH suggested starting off with disposables, but I feel like I'd get sucked into the ease of using them, so better never to start, for me anyway. I wonder if I am just in the dreamworld and being unrealistic of what I'll be arsed to do, but never mind.
ceara I'm really sorry about your grandparents passing away. It's sad no matter how "natural" or expected.
"Gin" increased discharge is just due to increased hormones as far as I know. Just part of how every bodily function seems exaggerated when pg, at least to me!
keep I just had the whooping cough vaccine. Was a no brainer for me since it isn't a live vaccine so no risk to baby. A hire kit for the nappies sounds a good idea, one of the offputting aspects is the large initial outlay compared to fiver for disposables but over the years the latter really adds up.
shazza you do have lovely hair! I agree with mariana though- although it's exciting to contemplate there is no freaking way I would EVER give birth on television. It's way too personal. I started watching one of the midwives programmes but stopped because I was finding it all rather unpleasant and unappealing weirdly. I can't watch OBEM because it was in then I was TTC and even seeing the adverts for it used to make me unhappy.
dildals Bella sounds like a very spirited girl who knows her own mind (or digestive system), which is fantastic. Glad your mum is coming back.
crisips my mum BFed all four of hers so is v pro but she is a bit of a hippy in a lot of ways and is not in the UK so her social context is a bit different. But her views did influence my positive attitude toward it.
I am having a brief pre dinner lie down. DS just brought me a glass of water unprompted and went to tell DH that they were my servants and had to do what I wanted. Clever boy.
Hi all. D day tomorrow so all over the place tonight.
So, in no particular order:
Very clever boy indeed Fairy. Did you train him? If so, how?
Shazza, wow! Turning fame down. How cool. You sil is such a pain. I agree with everyone else in that it was probably the one area in which she felt superior.
I've joined facebook. What do I do now?
Have got little washable nappies from assuntastore.com. Am really pleased with them. Will use disposables for the first week or so and then switch to these.
I intend to bf too. Mariana, how long did it take your milk to come in after your cs?
Ceara, so sorry for the loss of so many family members at the same time. I totally get fertility rage. It's a bastard.
I had lots more to say but have completely forgotton what it was.
ceara So sorry to hear about your losses, big hugs
expat Good luck for tomorrow, shall lurk for your news
dildals love your stories of Bella
expat wow, good luck for tomorrow! So exciting you will see your baby! My milk came in as normal post CS, eg within 48 hrs, colostrum until then.
I haven't trained DS, apart fr normal chiding! He is quite sensitive to others though.
Best wishes for tomorrow expat so exciting that you will be meeting your baby.
Shazza the last couple of series of OBEM have been from my hospital. I work with a couple of the guys who have appeared with the ladies. I would never have the guts to do anything like that. Lovely for the lady to approach you though and your lovely hair.
I can not watch any of those programmes at the moment, I am totally in denial that the birth bit will actually happen. I just think the miracle of modern science got them in there and will get them out again - head in the sand, moi???
ceara sorry for your losses and fertility rage. It is normal to experience this sort of thing.
Gin damp undercarriage - check. I have been using the panty liners I had left over from progesterone fall out. As the others say it is another pregnancy joy.
Dildals loving the Bella stories and the new graduate to a cot pic on fb. She sounds like a real little character already.
Al I really hope tomorrow goes well! You will update us as soon as you can I hope?! My milk took about three days to come in properly, which is about normal I think. It feels like it takes for ever but apparently the baby is fine to wait and lives off dribbles of colostrum. I had terrible engorgement for a couple of weeks though until things settled down.
gin I was always convinced I was leaking amniotic fluid but my consultant said it was your body making sure your foof was clean and healthy. But she didn't say foof.
That advert made me well up too. The ones that really get me are the child ones you get in the afternoons for Save the Children or something. They always have me in floods and wanting to donate our entire credit card limit.
Also love Stickman. DD1 went through an odd phase of calling me her 'Stick lady love'.
Shazza I hope DN has finally pooed. It's terrible when they hold it in.
Keep I think it's easy to get sucked into using disposable nappies. I would think it's a good idea to have some for travel, for if you don't have any dry and possibly for the first week or so.
White is good for future matching. I have cheapo ikea stuff in the girls rooms. It's a discontinued range but I've added to it as required via eBay.
Labour? Don't worry, that's that bit where you sneeze and a baby pops out...
Dildals, Bella sounds tremendous, it is amazing she's doing any sucking at all. There is a reflex in babies that makes them poo when they eat, some have it stronger than others. DD1 often used to poo at the start of a feed as if making room. Of course this meant I had to change her at the end of the feed instead of sneaking her back into her cot. Trenchlet starts pooing at about 6am and does it intermittently until about midday, usually just after I've changed her. I assume they all have their own pattern.
fairy when I was ttc all sorts of things used to set me off. I was once upset because the woman doing sign language in the corner of the screen was pregnant. Or she might just have been fat. There is no way I could even bear the advert for OBEM, I had fighter pilot reflexes on that TV remote to change channels. I still get flashes of fertility rage. Will it never leave me? I fear I'm the Lady MacBeth of pregnancy.
DD1's last day at nursery tomorrow. When I arrived to collect her today she went into a massive strop (she always does this as coming home with me is clearly so awful) but then got an evil glint in her eye and shinned up and hid in a treehouse. I was hissing at her 'get down here this minute, do I need to count to three?' totally ineffectually for at least five minutes, with all her cronies laughing at me and cheering her on. Eventually a member of staff climbed up there and talked her down. I was fairly mortified. I'm assuming I'll have to drag her out screaming tomorrow. I may have to create a Hansel and Gretel style trail of Smarties between the nursery and the car. I hope she loves school as much.
Can somebody teach me how to write a post that isn't 2,000 words? Please, for all our sakes...
Oh how exciting. Just a quickie from me tonight - good luck al. I hope you sneeze while reading a copy of Hello! Magazine and eating chocolates and the baby just slips out. Please keep us posted. Xx
ceara so sorry to hear about your bereavements. Xx
dildals Bella will soon be flipping the bird and showing her displeasure to anyone who fucks her off. We will ALL BE PROUD of her when this happens .
Keeps and gin I will avoid obem I think. I'm happy just getting the rage watching mel'n'fuckingsue and Paul Hollywood chasing young women around the marquee, while Mary Berry looks at him like he's a turd who has just drifted in from the local council estate.
mariana you were shamed at nursery by your DD, who sounds like a cunning fox alright. Loved that story !
shazza has she gone yet ?
Just popping in to say very best wishes expat for today and the coming days.
mariana I love your posts so please don't worry re length. DS also emits loud groans of disapproval when I show up at afterschool club to pick him up, much to everyone's amusement. Except mine - esp when I have rushed through work to pick him up at a decent time and have been yearning to see him. But I tell myself it is better that he likes AFC and school than if he were clinging to me, shrieking every time I dropped him off.
I hope your DD will be the same about school. DS cried quite a bit the first day of school because all of the children were going through a doorway sans parents and crying their eyes out. I think he thought it was the start of Kindertransport or some 4 yr old equivalent. But within a couple of days he was fine.
A quick post from me DP has told me off for being obsessed with my phone!
Expat loads of luck for today. It is ridiculously exciting and no matter what DP says I'll be tuning in with bated breath for news.
So much to say. Sorry for lack of personals. Like Mariana my motto has always been why use 5 words when 50 will do.
Ps. Torquay has seen the biggest dump from a 2 year old. Never has a massive poo caused so much emotion. Me & my mum were moved to tears . Xx
Yay for toddler poos!!
Wonder if expat's done already x
I was checking in to see if there was any delivery news... the poo will have to do!
fairy ha at kindertransport.
Just popping in quickly to see if there's any news from expat, who's been in my thoughts today... Hopefully baby expat is out and screaming!
Thanks for confirming that leakiness is normal. Must not find anything else to mental about...
Btw ladies your posts are NEVER too long. Keep em coming!
oh yes gin i meant to say that I have that too. When we were in Thailand I assumed it was sweat I hadn't clocked before, but now it's still there...
Gin im also 'damp'
I'm guessing expat probably has her hands full. It is so exciting that our next baby is on it's way.
Hooray for a day of arrivals...firstly a poo in Torquay and hopefully expat too by now. Also the little trooper Bella moving into a cot, we are all getting along nicely now! Do you think we'll still be writing this much this time next year when we're all sprouted up?
fairy your mum sounds ace, I wish I had someone in the family who had bf, but luckily I have lots of friends who will be great at giving a hand if I need it I think.
gin slob day was awesome. I ate cheesy puffs and read about Kim kardashian (still no idea who she is but I am subliminally starting to care about her life, even if she gave her baby a really stupid name) and I relished every minute of it. Until the pils delivered a raging overtired threenager to me, announcing that she hadn't eaten or been to the loo all day. Ah well, nothing lasts forever!
Whoever asked, yes dampness here too, nothing to worry about I don't think.
nokkityfuckity am going to try the lazy daisy whatsithingy too in the hope of meeting some other mums who a)don't smoke while holding their babies and b)are not smug joules-wearing fucktards (sorry, nice clothes and all but seems to go with fucktard ime round these parts) as that is all I seem to find! My friends from having dd are equally as normal, tired and stroppy with their toddlers as me and I'd quite like similar companionship for the next two to keep me sane!
Random question if it isn't too personal...what kind of mat leave deals are you folks getting? I feel that people are surprised that I'm only taking six ish months, but I only get 2 wks full pay, 4wks 90% and then another six weeks half pay before just stat mat. Not the worst I've ever heard of, but after all the ivf costs we definitely couldn't afford to go without my wages for much longer. Do you guys plan to take a full year
Shazza hope DN is feel much better from the mass evacuation. Poor little mite must be so relieved.
Crisps I get 6 weeks full pay, 20 weeks half pay then stat mat leave. I plan to take as long as possible off. How things fall and with holidays it might be about 14 months.
Was Expat having an induction or ELCS? I must have missed this. I hope all is well and she is enjoying new born cuddles.
Also popping in to check for news of expat.
gin dampness - check.
paranoia it means something bad - check I think it is all normal, mentalling included.
crisps I would love to take a full year as we have waited so long for this and the time won t come again, but despite a generous contractual maternity package, having done the sums last week, it looks like I will have to go back after 9 months - DH's fixed term contract ends next year and we can't really afford to have both of us not earning. So back to work I go, unless he is lucky to get another job quickly. I guess the important thing is to make the most of the time we have and not regret the extra months we don't.
I think she was booked in for an ELCS but I could be wrong.
Don't worry about long posts mariana I am about to write a long 'un.
For the ones not on FB. BELLA WAS MOVED TO A COT !!!!It was a very momentous occasion! I told DH on the phone and he went 'are the doctors OK with that!?', which sort of sums up our 'anxious parent routine'. I said that the doctors probably don't even get involved in stuff like this and that they Probably Know What They Are Doing. Look at me, I might get the hang of this Calm Cool and Collected parenting! It is weird to think that all germs, noises and light can now get to her no longer protected by the incubator. It is so much nicer though to be able to just touch her and kiss her, without the incubator in the way. She seems happy! Also, she was being marinated in her own poo smell in that incubator, we used to waft the portholes to get some fresh air in to that thing! She started to smell a bit gamey!
We have been doing it already on an adhoc basis, but since this week she's been on a strict regime of 'breast-ercise' (I made that up!). Three times a day, when it is her tube feed time, she goes on the boob, so that she associates the action of breastfeeding with a full tummy. She's not big enough yet to really breastfeed, so she's just practising, but damn it, she's having a good crack at it! It cracks me up every time to see her having a go . It already starts just before feeding time. She wakes up slowly (I think this is already massive progress, since lots of prem babies sleep sleep sleep), gets grumpy, I change her nappy, without fail she has done a big stinker, I think she saves them for me, Bella not impressed with all the faffing around, starts crying, JUST GET ME MY FOOD WOMAN! Then finally she gets put on the boob, she opens her mouth as if she is going to swallow an elephant and latches on like a piranha. Then starts sucking like it is nobody's business. Rests. Flaring nostrils. And repeat. At first she sucked, opened her eyes wide, frowned forehead, thinking 'I have milk in my mouth, what do I do now?', but now I think she's got the hang of it (although the nurse says it is not possible - of course she doesn't know how INCREDIBLY advanced my baby is!). She still can't suck continuously but she's definitely improving. She holds my finger while she feeds and the other hand holds the middle of my bra, so cute. Then after 20 mins or so I see the eyes roll back, head lolling, and I know it is time to get the tube feed in. After the full tube feed has been delivered in to her tummy she properly gets milk drunk and she just falls asleep on the boob. I can try and move her off but this gets met by loud protests until I lay her in breastfeeding position again. Then the happy noises start .... So. Funny. The happy noises are the best. I sit there shaking with laughter trying to not wake her up.
DH's also now changed his first nappy. He sort of had to because the nurse told him to and I wasn't there. I am proud to say he needed FOUR nappies for one change. He still needs to learn that vital lesson that if the red face is still on, or if there is a lot of straining noises, just strap the nappy back on, dirty and all, and leave her for 20 mins minimum. Serves him right after all the nappy changing criticism he's given me!
I also hired a hospital grade breast pump. What a world of difference that makes! What took me 40 mins before, now takes me 15 tops. Only downside is that I can't catch up on emails in the night anymore, I am done too quickly!
One question about babies for the Mums. Now that she's in a cot I have to put 2 layers of clothes on her. I feel bad for wrestling her in to all these clothes, whereas she should be putting all this energy in to growing. I guess this is just one of those things right? She needs the clothes to stay warm and probably no baby likes to have their leg forced thru a baby grow leg ... (she's getting strong as well! No way I can flex her leg if she doesn't want to!)
Baby al born yesterday. A very beautiful girl. Can't take my eyes off her. She started feeding straight away and is currently snuffling next to me. Just under 9lb and 52 cm. so in love. Tired but ecstatic. X
Many many congratulations Al! Thanks for updating us. Brilliant that she's taken straight to feeding too. She sounds like a good size too.
How are you? I hope you've got good painkillers.
Dildals good news from you too. The cot sounds much more comfortable, I had no idea incubators smelled but it makes sense, I laughed at 'gamey'. It's another step towards normality though.
You can get wrap over style vests that avoid you having to get them over the baby's head but otherwise being dressed is just another thing she'll have to get used to. Trenchlet still hates having her vest put on and won't cooperate.
The feeding sounds great, especially the pump. Trenchlet often seems to need to hold my finger to settle too. She's currently feeding and working up to pooing which involves all sorts of grunting, back arching and straining all while still attached. It's a good job I have almost no feeling left in my poor nipples.
crisps I am extremely lucky as I get 6 months full pay, 3 months statutory and three months unpaid. This has allowed me to take the full year as we saved from my full pay months to cover the unpaid. Also my husband has a permanent post which obviously makes all the difference too. We in higher education are generally fairly poorly paid but have great in service benefits and pensions. Most people I know take nine months though, the three months unpaid is often just not possible. You just have to make the most of whatever you take and it's a wrench leaving them in daycare whatever their age.
I used to live in a place like you describe and I fitted into neither group, having neither a weapon dog nor a bugaboo. There were some people that I got on with but I didn't really keep in touch when we moved away as we only really had the children in common. I've no idea what other mums are like round here, the same as everywhere else I suppose but with more jodphurs and wellies.
I now have five days of both girls with no nursery for respite. Today we are going to the nearest town, on the train (as it will take longer) to go to the big library. I think there will be baking too, which is a pain as I'm vaguely trying to lose weight. By not snacking I'm losing a pound a week but I'm still ten pounds heavier than my previous 'maximum acceptable' weight and I'd like to shift it now.
expat wonderful news, congratulations! If she was just under 9 lbs at 38 weeks (?) she would have been a big one full term! So happy that it all went well for you.
dildals I love your descriptions of Bella. I wouldn't worry that she is using up energy fighting off the clothes, I think all babies do that, they hate the restriction. I would have thought that the more exercise she has (to a limit) the stronger she will grow. It's great she is now in a cot and thriving. DS used to hold on to the middle of my bra with his little pudgy hand too and it used to slay me.
Good to hear that DH is embarking on the great new frontier of nappy changing, he will have to get used to it.
crisps my mum is definitely ace when it comes to children, babies and doing the washing up quietly without ever playing the martyr; there are other things she is not so perfect about but none of us are I suppose. My grandmother on my father's side was also a La Leche League member and used to travel to the developing world to promote BFing so I have really been "indoctrinated" on that front. If I couldn't BF this one though my family would be fine about it.
I haven't finalised my maternity pay arrangements with my firm but the proposal is that I get full pay for first two months (first two weeks are holiday I have saved up) with 2/3 pay for another 6 months. My employer will basically 'top up' the stat mat pay until it reaches 2/3 pay. I am planning to go back 3 days a week then. I was ready to go back part time after 8 months with DS and part of the deal with my company is that I go back approximately then to justify the pay to that point.
mariana I love the social grouping of "weapon dog" vs "bugaboo". Sounds like where we used to live in London. Here there are so many other families with young children like us that we feel cloned sometimes. Of course we always suspect that the other couples (a) have more money and (b) have sex more frequently.
On point (a) we just had a terrible bombshell last night in the DH's new employers (he just started 1 July) told him out of the blue that they needed someone with a different skills set and his contract was immediately terminated. He was 2 months into the 3 months probation so I guess they thought they should do it now. We are in total shock because everything seemed to be fine, there was no warning at all. I wonder whether it is actually because when they hired him they restructured and now in retrospect they realise they needed someone else. I am trying to remain calm but with the baby due in 7 weeks I am really rather freaked out. DH is very unhappy. I am trying to say that it is just one of those things and he will get another job soon and luckily he can freelance in the meantime but it is a terrible blow just when I was hoping I could put work and money worries aside for a while.
dildals that is fantastic that Bella (and you and Mr Dildals) are doing so well. She sounds a clever and feisty baby.
fairy so sorry to hear of your bombshell. I'm sure you are right and it is because of the restructuring. A horrible thing to happen and appalling timing for you both. Good that he can hopefully pick up some freelance work as it will help not only financially but with maintaining sanity and positivity. I am hoping my husband will be able to do the same. He has been lucky until now to walk straight into new jobs when contracts ended but you never know how long it will take, which is the worst thing, isn't it?
fairy gosh what a shock!! I really hope that he picks up work and a new job soon. I suppose you could always go back earlier than planned if it was an issue and he could be home. My deal with DH is that he gets to stay off work for most of the time with no.2, as I think you're supposed to be able to share leave out these days (not sure how it works)
crisps unfortunately I won't be getting any pay, as I'm not resently employed. I may get maternity allowance, but I'm not sure as I was working abroad not here. But since I am paying taxes here I think I should qualify. Still, it's not much. But, we knew that was the situation when we decided to go ahead with IVF at that time. We will just tighten our belts for 9 months or so, then I'll get a job. It's a pain as I would have taken a year and then maybe gone PT, but now I know I'll start to feel bad at about 9 months and have to get something, and chances of it being PT are nil really. But I've got some work pre-baby, starting monday, which'll be handy. Plus, this is our first so we don't have childcare costs to worry about.
ceara I'm sorry you feel you'll have to go back before you'll want to. I suppose you'll just have to see how it goes and what you can afford. You never know, DH might have found a new contract before the other even ends. At the moment I'm thinking babies in baby-stage are not that expensive - is that naive? What's the main expenses before you get to the childcare age? <awaits mothers to come along with sense>
dildals oh gosh Bella just sounds adorable. Is she still in SCBU, or a different ward now that she's in a cot? It must be so hard for you to go home at the end of the day, but it won't be so many weeks now till you can take her home, will it? Do they normally go home at what would have been term? She sounds like a little girl who knows her own mind. And what a stupid nurse for not realising how advanced our Bella is.
And of course expat - huge massive congratulations!! We look forward to a picture, and a bit of a story when you have a chance. Will you be in hospital for a few days? Have you a name decided yet? The run of girls continues. So, so pleased for you.
We have having a new
fairly crappy bathroom put in by our landlord these last couple of days. So no water on. So I have filled buckets so that I can wee a million times a day. The cat hates being shut in the other room, but she's still on house arrest, having only arrived back to us a week ago.
Yay, CONGRATS expat! I'm so pleased for you and hope you are both doing well. Another girl eh? Is it right that everyone on the Fred who's had their babies/found out the gender are having girls? I wonder if they are more common from ivf <thinks of Louise Brown>, or if it's just random!
Ha ha mariana and crisps at your weapon dog vs bugaboo description. In my end of the hood, I think it's more weapon dog, apart from the lovely shazz of course!
fairy so sorry to hear about your DH's job. I hope he finds something quickly and it's great he can do some freelance. My DH has just got a new job, which was a huge relief as he was set to be unemployed 2 weeks after the baby was due and works in a v competitive sector.
keep eek re the no water. Limited weeing and no showers would so my head in!
I get the same amazing maternity benefits as mariana. My salary is shite but benefits and annual leave allowance great. Tacking on the accrued annual leave and bank hols, I hope to take 10-11 months off, returning when the baby is about 10 months. I can't afford any months without income and the months on statutory pay will be tough. I hope to be able to save during the salaried months to help pay the mortgage then!
Had an antenatal check up yesterday. All was well with no proteins in my wee this time and she found the HB immediately. They've started measuring the bump now which is funny. I'm 22cm at 24 weeks, so not as massive as I thought! The baby is lying transversely which means I would measure a bit smaller I think. She also said that if I was leaking amniotic fluid it'd be constant.
Anyway I'll stop waffling on. It's Friday, yay!
Ps meant to say dildals Bella sounds just adorable! And is doing so incredibly well re suckling and being in a cot. Amazing!
gin here they don't measure the bump until 28 weeks anyway. It's really hard to tell which way the baby is lying I think. Does it get easier as the baby gets bigger, or harder? I think they still move loads - mine was transverse when I saw the MW the other week, then two days later at scan was head down. Sometimes by bump does feel harder, and I think that's when it's transverse, as there must be less space that way.
and yes, there have been no boys born, or boys found out about yet other than sweetie who has one of each cooking. Though there are a fair few of us who don't know.
Mariana, Dildals, Expat - girls x4
fairy - girl
Shaz - unknown
keep - unknown
mrshy - girl i think
sweetie - one of each
gin - girl
crisps - babies were uncooperative so was going back this week. What was the result, crisps?
noks - unknown
So, who has scans coming up? Buzzy's 20 weeks must be soon? And I think motor has one next week too?
ceara keep and gin thanks for the condolences. I am reasonably confident DH will find more work soon but it is just the uncertainty as you say ceara. Also it's a terrible blow to his confidence, which no one needs. We had just been celebrating the fact that he finally had a permanent contract after 6 yrs of freelancing and short term contracts. This was partly by choice but we are both fed up with that scenario.
keep when DS was a baby we had really very little money and we got along fine. It is totally up to you how much you spend on them, they don't really need much or anything new or expensive. DS was just in a moses basket until he was 7 months (that I got via freecycle) and we were given a folding clothes organiser that doubled as a changing table. Apart from the pushchair we really didn't buy anything (we didn't have a car so no car seat needed) but got a lot via freecycle. It is the nursery or childminder costs when you go to work that are horrific.
I am pretty sure that LO is head down and has been for a while because when she gets the hiccups I feel it low down in my pelvis. Also when she kicks I feel it up at the top of my bump and there seem to be knees in between. However, I don't know what side she is curled around so maybe that changes. She is definitely getting a lot bigger and stronger because when she kicks or moves I REALLY feel it, I instinctively hold on to my bump for fear she's going to break through!
gin glad to hear that your MW appt went well and no proteins this time. Also that you have a nice compact bump. When they measure my bump it shows up as 'just right' but because I am short and shortwaisted it means I am sticking out hugely! (since the benchmark is the same no matter how tall you are and if you need to be 32cm and are short it must stick out more in a bigger curve).
Funny about the run of girls.
Congrats expat, what wonderful news!
Off for a scan this morning and hoping to find out sex and that they can get the other measurements. Realised that I actually really want to know what they are! So fingers crossed they will be more cooperative today.
Will catch up properly later...
Congrats expat. That's amazing news. I'm so excited. This is quick I'm texting from a pub loo . Can't wait to catch up properly from home at the weekend. Xx
Haha at shazza in a pub loo. Do you feel like you're having an illicit affair?!
fairy that's awful job news. I really hope he can freelance straight away and that something else comes up very soon. It's really worrying though so I'll not tell you not to panic. I really hate the culture of short term contracts. It makes everything so uncertain.
Yes, when we lived in trendy / rough inner city what actually marked us out from the bugaboo crowd was our lack of parental cash. They mostly had things like deposits on their houses paid for by their parents, trust funds for the kids, cars bought for them and so on. I used to naively wonder how people on their not immediately lucrative sounding jobs could have so much flashier lives than us but that was generally why. I consoled myself with us having earned it all ourselves
would still rather have two sets of vastly wealthy parents though.
keep, it's a pity you'll miss out on a maternity package but the baby will more than compensate. Once you have the initial equipment then all you need later on are stair gates (very easy to pick up second hand) and clothes (Primarni is now this threads Official Outfitter) but bundles from eBay can be very good value. If you go with disposable nappies and wipes they will cost less than £20 a month if you shop around (I got Boots 3 for 2 mega packs this month - I stock up every month as it's cheaper). Cloth won't have a monthly cost of course beyond the initial outlau, but you will use more electricity. Considering you never go out either it's not too bad. Ultimately, we are peddled a whole load of stuff we really don't need at all.
Our heating bill went up too as more baths and not sitting shivering in a jumper. Speaking of which, I hope you have water soon.
Gin, glad there's no pesky proteins and that the MW reassured you. The fundal height measurement is very crude and only a guide so don't worry about it. I think gender is just as random from IVF. There must just be a run of girls on this thread.
expat congrats on your little bundle
crisps I'm with the NHS and my area are only offering me 6 weeks full pay and then 7 weeks half pay, it might from changed from when I last looked, not sure how long I will take off
fairy Sorry about the bombshell, I can relate to the money worries, DH was made redundant 4 years ago and is still looking for a permanent job, we have a bit of savings but my DH has already decided that he will take time off to be with me when I have the baby. I am sure your DH will find something soon
keep did you take your cat with you?? How long is quarantine in this country, my 20 week scan is on the 13th but I'm having a private scan tomorrow and DH will be able to come along, I think he feels a bit out of it being away so much
gin glad your mw appointment went well
shazza glad your poor DN is now brown bear free I know my old patients obsess about their bowels
noks how are you doing, I've been too busy to be perving on utube
well thank feck its Friday, we have a right bunch of selfish miserable demanding old folks where I'm working, some people are never grateful and have knackered me out, off for a quick nap with the cat
Many congratulations on your baby girl expat. Lovely news.
fairy that is such bad news re DH's job - what a shock! And bad timing too, to say the least. Still, Im sure something else will come up. Must catch up soon.
keep you have a good memory re scan dates! Yes, my 12 week scan is on Monday. Anxiety has set in again, but a bit less than previous scans thanks to the one I had at 10 weeks when the baby was wriggling about with a good strong heartbeat. Hope you get your water on soon!
How are you crisps and how was the scan? Did you find out what sex they are? Can't wait to hear.
buzzy good luck for tomorrow - and to motor for Monday. It is nervewracking. My 20 week scan is next Friday and I can feel the fretting starting already!
Crisps was the little one more cooperative today? Hope all went well.
fairy that sucks big time, so sorry, I really hope Your DH finds something soon to take the stress off. It's the last thing you need to be worrying about. Your folks sound ace, I don't really have any family closeY (mum is in Sydney!) and I miss having someone around.
Good luck motor 12 weeks is a brilliant milestone to be approaching!
dildals is Bella still in SCBU or HdU or somewhere else? Apologies for not knowing the right terminology and such like. Her poonamis sound like her digestive system is working a treat and It does sound like she is a genius at feeding already.
buzzy hope you are off this weekend for a rest from the miserable buggers at work. I think ai've done alright with mat leave by comparison...was just a bit glum because two of my friends (private sector)got 12 months full pay, company car and petrol allowance, can you imagine how awesome that would be! We will manage fine in perspective.
keep I think the main outlay for us was about £20 a week on nappies, wipes and milk (unless you bf of course!) and so on, which isn't a huge amount. There are loads of free or very cheap things to do with babies if you want to get out of the house and be sociable and I think being at home to plan meals and cook in bulk makes it easier to cut down on costs. As theoraclemariana said not much is needed later on, and you could always eBay stuff that is no longer needed to get a bit back.
shazza is it wierd that I was proud of your niece yesterday? It felt like we were all hanging on tenterhooks waiting for her to progress, bless her. Hope you have had a lovely restful holly bob.
Scan went well today apart from me nearly passing out every five minutes from the pressure n my heart (anyone else have this prob when they lie down? V spooky!) and it was DH's friend who double checked everything for us as a bit of a favour. The results are in.....(drum roll please)...we will be adding two more girls to the mumsnet brood! I'm so happy to have found out, I didn't mind what they were at all but already I find it so much easier to imagine them and get excited. Pus it will be a giggle for me to watch DH live with four
stroppy over hormonal high maintenance ladies for the next twenty years or so!
noks ignore me if I'm being dense but have you had your 20wk already and do you know the sex?
Great scan news crisps - 2 girls! How lovely.
Good luck with your scan tomorrow buzzy
Two girls! That will change the names list somewhat then...
motor good luck for the scan on Monday. I hope you can relax over the weekend.
buzzy good luck for your scan too. I know it's not ideal financially but I think it's really nice that your DH can be there when the baby is little. It's so much easier with two of you and he'll be so much more competant!
crisp yay to two girls the NHS/government are screwing me over with my pension they might as well get me with my mat pay
motor 12 weeks already, like they say everyone else pregnancies go so fast, finger crossed for Monday
mariana He is hoping to have a commutable job before then if not he will take time off from mid Jan to beginning of April if possible, its been hard at times without him here, I don't fancy being on my own with the baby for days on end
Congratulations Crisps on 2 girls
A book recommendation for you all: What mothers do - especially when it looks like nothing by Naomi Stadlen. I'm half way through it and I wish I'd read it before I had DD1. It's a lovely, reassuring, compassionate book about the realities of new babies and new motherhood and how society does not value mothers. Very easy to read without being dumbed down and tried very hard not to be judgey. Lots about feeling overwhelmed which is something we've discussed here.
Hey ladies, I am back from my scan, all ok, we are also having a girl, I read some so called health article that said you are more likely to have a boy on IVF I do find it interesting that that there are so many girls on this thread, we had ICSI so wonder if the girl sperm are stronger to start with at selection ??
sweetie your little boy is going to have girls falling all over him when he is older
mariana thanks for book tip, I am making a list but feel I should actually start buying books sooner rather than later
That's fantastic news buzzy - I'm so pleased for you! Does you feel any more confident now? Does it feel more real? So many girls on here! X
today I feel reassured, she again looked at the brain and heart and told me she doubted I would have any nasty shocks at my 20 week scan she also suggested I try and relax I think it was her polite way of saying she sees me too often, I feel its time to get on with things but will wait until I have had my 20 week scan,
Excellent news buzzy, glad all was well. Take it at your own pace though, every radiographer has told eme to 'stop worrying and relax' and it only pissed me off! Finally feeling happier now I'm over halfway and getting closer to the viable stage, but it did take a while. Must be nice to be given some confidence though!
We are creating a hareem for sweetie's little boy so far!
That's brilliant news buzzy, I'm so glad all was well today. I always think "relax" is the most maddening and useless advice, though - even if we all know we should :-) And so good you were able to have the scan on a day your husband could be there.
There is a definite gender bias going on, isn't there? The Chinese gender predictor reckons mine is a girl too but as I recall the Chinese gender predictor hasn't had a good hit rate so perhaps it will buck the trend and actually turn out to be a boy! That said, we still haven't decided whether to find out on Friday...
thank you ladies, I had a quick look at the ante natal thread, never been on it but it really is like some alien world to me, most have already bought their nursery stuff and prams etc, I did look at some baby clothes on ebay but have decided to just buy some wool to knit with, do babies wear booties these days
crisp at harem he will be spoilt for choice
ceara it is a big decision, this was what they call a quickassure scan, but she is a lovely sonographer and aware that I am worrier as soon as she offered to look I nearly bit her hand off
Congratulations buzzy on your gorgeous girl That's why we started this thread, most people were looking at prams etc at 5 weeks, seemingly unaware of all that can happen, and able to just enjoy and be excited.
I also read the study saying more ivf babies are boys. Hmm. Well, maybe all the unknowns of us are cooking boys.
ceara its a hard decision. What does dh want to do? Tbh I like not knowing, but am sure knowing is lovely. So maybe its not a hard decision as it doesn't matter <helpful>
expat hope all is going well. Looking forward to an update when you're home. X
buzzy that was/is exactly how I felt about the antenatal threads! At 5 weeks, my parallel world was more about trying to stave off a panic attack in the supermarket vitamins aisle when I had to shop for pregnancy vitamins after my preconception packet ran out (all I could bring myself to pick up was the tub of folic acid tablets as that would be usable for our next cycle --and therefore might not jinx the pregnancy--) So I did not feel I quite belonged, and it was lovely to find this thread, where the insanity is embraced and understood.
I am not sure when it is going to get easier to buy or prepare anything for this baby. DH can go buy up Kiddicare after it's born safely and before we come home, right?! :-)
keep, DH doesn't want to know, as the path so far has been so very clinical, and he feels it would restore the balance a little to retain some mystery and find out if it's a boy or girl the traditional way. I do want to know, because I am incurably impatient, because I can't stand the thought of the sonographer knowing something we don't about our baby, and because I would like to be able to think of it as "he" or "she" rather than "it"
and hope that may make it feel more real. However, our main preoccupation, like everyone else at this point, is obviously worrying whether there will be any nasty surprises of the anomaly variety so the gender question is mostly a handy distraction from the mentalling!
ceara I don't know if she was lying, but our sonographer at 25 weeks said she didn't know the sex, so maybe unless they look its not that obvious,
iykwim. I just alternate thinking of kip as he and she. Is it just language that gives us this issue? In Thai there is no word for he or she, so I wonder if this'd be less of an issue. After all, the sex isn't what makes a person, and we aren't so interested in other physical characteristics.
Anyway, I've not had a lot of movement this morning, so have some worrying to do. Laters x
Tis ok, breakfast woke kip up
buzzy I meant to say, we left the cat with my brother, so she didn't come to Thailand. She def recognizes us which is lovely. I think she's ready to go out now ten days later as she's so
bloody noisy. So trying that in short spurts today.
Buzzy congrats on the scan news, it is reassuring that all should be ok at 20 week scan and another girl to be added to the list. We had ICSI too so maybe our boy was just an extraordinary strong boy swimmer. It is bizarre that there are so many girls expected on this thread. I am hoping some of the unknowns may be boys to keep him company.
Keep I defo get more movement after meals, greedy jumbo twins love a feed!!
Hurrah buzzy and crisps for good scan and more girls ! ceara and motor good luck for yours next week.
This really is a pink thread!
Re buying stuff, I've started and it does feel a bit odd, but not feeling prepared was starting to make me feel a bit stressed and most of the kids places have really long return periods...
I too get more movement after food, especially sweet stuff.
We're decorating today, boo. I keep having to have breaks as being on my feet too long knackers me out. Am hoping the recent daily fail scaremongering about paint fumes and pregnancy was bollocks...
Hope everyone else is well and having nice weekends.
keep I don't know if I could give back a cat that i had been looking after I would think of them as mine My cat would love to go live with MIL, she makes such a fuss of her when she comes to visit glad kip is ok
ceara thats tough when one wants to know and one doesn't, I know I couldn't have kept it secret from Barry so I would have let it slip at some stage. It does feel a bit more real now, I think I can feel movement but could be wrong, we now refer to her as she or by her name and have even discussed the future, yes I know she hasn't even been born yet, I have also told the cat that she will have a little person to dress her up
motor I shall be thinking of you tomorrow
oh it was a private scan and it was the only one I could get that week, if it had been on a week day then I wouldn't have found out the gender, I just needed to be reassured that all was going to plan.
I don't relate to antenatal thread at all, some of it made me cringe, I had always planned to embroider a birth sampler but now feel that is a bit old fashioned so now need to think of something else.
buzz I know, I felt bad taking her back, but she's my baby... We are getting them a kitten.
Nothing wrong with old fashioned.
sweetie at jumbo twinnies...
Good luck tomorrow motor
Gah! I'm so behind that in the space I've been away an actual flippin BABY has been born! Congratulations Expat!!
Fab news too re your scan Buzzy - another girl to add to the mix!
Hi everyone! Sorry to have been so rubbish lately - have been busy in the week and then have had full weekends. And we go away on our last babymoon on Saturday to Portugal for a week! I will try to catch up properly but just wanted to check in and say hi xx
Hi mrsH, enjoy your holiday!
buzzy hurrah for another girl, glad all was well. My mum did lovely samplers for mine. I think they're lovely framed in their rooms.
Good luck tomorrow motor.
I'm worn out but still have two days with no childcare to go. Trenchlet is now refusing to feed properly unless she's in a totally silent room, which is nigh on impossible during the day, even with Tinkerbell on a loop on the TV. I hope this is a passing phase. If not it should at least get easier once DD1 is at school and not bellowing expletives in Trenchlet's face all the bloody time. DD1 has devloped a habit of singing nonsense songs that contains obscenities. A mild example would be the chorus of 'pissy wissy' that she was singing in the car today. It gets much, much worse. My ineffectual response is to say 'let's sing a song with proper words darling' and be resolutely ignored.
Phew so much has happened but I've caught up now.
Expat I hope your little bundle of joy is ok and you are settling in together. How are you feeling from the op? I'll PM you my Facebook details. Loads of luck and best wishes for the coming days.
Dildals I love bella. She sounds feisty and strong. It's amazing that she is in a cot and her attempts at breastercise (love that) are great. What a personality she is. I'm glad your mum is coming again. Has DH gone back to work now? I loved his first nappy story. I told DP cause that is one of his worries. It's good to know he's not alone. I'm happy to share my pushchair research if that is helpful. It depends on your needs.
Im so pleased with the one we got. It folds so easily and was easy peasy to push. I hope it performs with a real life baby.
Mariana I cracked up at Dd1 in the tree what a brilliant story. £20 pm on nappies etc doesn't sound like much. Thanks for the book tip. I ordered it from amazon along with Naomi whatshername's other book about relationships. That also sounds good.
Sorry to laugh at DD1s rude songbook you tell such a good story.
Crisps congrats on your girls. So exciting. Can't wait to hear your name choices. I hope we will all be writing about our 'threenagers' in years to come! Loved your slobby day. I've looked up lazy daisy. Looks great. There is one in Brixton and its much cheaper than preg yoga. I've emailed the teacher re details. My mat leave is 2 weeks full pay, 4 weeks 90%, then I think it's 12 weeks 50%+ mat pay then the rest mat pay up to 39 weeks. Then 26 weeks unpaid. I really hope to take a year but DP is an artist so it depends on whether he can flog paintings.
Ceara fingers crossed your DH gets a job and you can also enjoy your full mat leave.
Fairy I'm so sorry about your DHs job. What a blow. You sound very calm and practical which is great. It is so reassuring to know that it can be done on not much money. I love your DSs idea about being your manservants. Bless him!
Keep good luck for tomorrow. Glad kip is ok. Shazlett has stopped moving so much at night and I also keep waking up worrying but then she bounces on my bladder and I know that all is well! We also have the swapping from he to she. Here I refer to shazlett as she but inRL I say he. I do think it's a boy so hopefully one to keep sweeties little chap company.
Gin well done for MW appt. and good job with the decorating. I've set some dates for my mum to come back and help. DP is full on painting pictures now for 2 shows before shazlett is born and I can't finish the flat on my own. I'm looking forward to Saturday. And I'm going to yoga this week. Are you?
Motor loads of luck for tomorrow.
Buzzy another girl! Great news. Exciting! In glad you feel more reassured.
MrsH have a fab hols.
Nok how are you and the little nipper? I've still got your cake box. Lets meet up and I'll give it back to you
I hope I haven't missed anyone.
We had a super holiday. Thanks for all your kind thoughts for DN. I totally fell in love with her this week. She was amazing and such good fun. I surprised myself cause I thought my mum would do the childcare and me n DP would slope off but in the end I helped loads and DN was asking me for things and coming to me for comfort. I found it so hard when she was born cause I was TTC and struggling and aslo the relationship with SIL makes it hard to see DN1 and now DN2. So it meant so much to be able to bond with her this week. I cried so much when we left. I did t want to give her back. Thank goodness I have DP and shazlett on the way. I keep feeling overwhelming love for him and shazlett. The depth and intensity of the emotion feels hard to handle and I get upset. I guess I keep thinking how awful it would be to lose them.
Back to work tomorrow. Only 7 weeks to go til mat leave. I can hardly believe it. Fairy is next up and then it's my go. I hit the big 30 weeks on Wednesday. That feels really close and the count down will really begin.
Well I'd better go to bed. DP is at the studio and I have to be up so early so i can't wait for him.
Night all xx
Just popping in to say good luck to motor for today, hope all goes well.
MrsHY Portugal sounds lovely, enjoy!
gin I am impressed by the decorating. Slightly worried to hear you are finding it tiring though sounds like you are pacing yourself, take it easy though. We have decorating still to come
once I have stopped faffing and chosen a colour for the living room. Perhaps shazza's plan of drafting parents is the way forward?
buzzy we have an embroidery that my MIL made while pregnant with my husband, he treasures it. I think it's a beautiful thing to do.
Hi to everyone else.
hi shaz good to have you back. I can't believe that you're almost at 30 weeks!! Isn't it weird how at the beginning I felt like you were so crazy far ahead of me with your extra 2 weeks, but in reality we could be due at the same time, and the little ones will basically be the exact same age... That's so lovely that you were able to bond with your niece. I had the same thing with my sister being pregnant while we were ttc. Luckily I was pregnant by the time she had it, because I know that it would have been really hard otherwise. I now feel guilty at having cried so much when I learnt about my niece who I now adore, but I think my sister is probably not even dwelling on that. It's so sweet that your niece was going to you - you're going to be just great. 7 weeks till 'holiday' time - woo hoo.
mrsHY a babymoon sounds amazing. I love Portugal at this time of year - not so crowded or hot as in the summer. Are you going to the Algarve? I wish we had had a chance to do something like that, but we're been too crazy busy. Maybe I can arrange us a long weekend in October or November to a country hotel <gets carried away> but somehow all the weekends are running away with us! I still cannot believe that I will have a baby (touch wood) in less than three months. Does anyone else sometimes feel that they are playing a part a lot of the time?!
But, I am really starting to feel pregnant now. As in things are taking a lot more effort than normal. And I feel like a big hefter when I have to change positions in the bed at night...
Right then, down to business (and thanks to Shazza for going through all of the post and putting them in order without me having to repeatedly scroll up and down !).
expat like Shaz says, I hope you and mini expat are having a good old time of it. I would be intrigued to know how you're getting on and what kind of routine you are managing (if any). Any tips from the coal face for the early days/weeks ?
dildals please please please don't ever stop telling us stories from Bella's World. She sounds absolutely adorable. Isn't it amazing how they can develop such a personality, even at that small age ? How are you doing ? Are you managing to cope ok ?
crisps whoop whoop on the two girlies ! Lovely news. I have got in touch with the Lazy Daisy woman and she is doing a couples birthing class in a couple of weeks (half a day) and a six week breathing and all that hippy dippy stuff classes for. Hundred bucks. I shit you not. Fucking brilliant value considering the cost of NCT and hypnobirthing so thanks for the top tip beeatch. I shall see how I get on with these classes before committing to hypnobirthing as they incorporate a bit of that into the six week classes.
buzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZy another girl to add to this decidedly pink thread. I am so pleased for you that everything is going well - are you a teeny weeny bit calmer ? For now
mariana it sounds as though DD1 could be the love child of myself and crisps . How was her last day at nursery ? Any more shimmying up the tree and hiding ?
fairy awful news about your DH's job. My DP is a contractor and, to be honest, it is a right royal pain in the derrière at times. I hope he finds something soon.
keep are you starting your new job tomorrow ? Good luck ! Eating also wakes the nipper up too.
ceara we have the same maternity package (obviously !) but I am the same as you in that I can only take about ten months off. Check with HR though as I had a nice surprise when I went down there - they actually give you the bank holidays as extra leave so you can add about ten and a half days to your calculations. Happy days.
gin I hope the decorating has gone ok. Don't do too much !
motor good luck for today !
mrsh have a lovely hollibobs.
shazza it would be lovely to meet-up before you go off on maternity leave. Text me baby ! It's nice to have you back - you are so sweet with your DN !
Ok so I was going along swimmingly and then yesterday I have been really achy. Like period pains. I'm going to see the midwife is morning (luckily I was booked in anyway) just in case. I have been a bit scared and worried, tbh, so I hope it's just my body stretching. I had the nipper's favourite for breakfast (peanut butter on toast) which s/he liked (lots if wriggling) so I am trying to think positively.....
The other thing was.....has anyone started reading books about routine yet ? I just wondered what the general views were.....
Right, off to see Matron now.
Nokkie there wasn't a day that went by when I didn't have aches, twinges, sharp pains, dull pains. Obviously I worried about them but the general advice was that there is an awful lot happening in there so you're bound to feel all sorts of things. The only really worrying pain is strong contracting pain and that's a world away from period like pains. Get checked anyway but I'm as sure as I can be that it's nothing much!
Routines, hmm. I'll be honest and say I am fairly anti Gina Ford style stuff early on. They sound great but I think they are hard to implement and you'd have to be quite tough. I would say only try a routine from the off if it really appeals to you, otherwise it might stress you out. My friend tried to do Gina Ford and was always fretting that her baby was doing the 'wrong' thing at the wrong time. Early on I found it much less stressful to be more or less baby-led than to have a routine, until one emerged anyway at about 9 months, which is also when I did sleep training. It's also hard to bf to a routine as bf younger babies will feed for hours some days and not others. I'd say research it but don't worry about it too much, you'll end up with a vague routine of your own regardless.
motor where are you ??? How was your scan
shazza welcome back, I thought we were going organise another group get together before the babies arrive it must have been lovely to spend time with your niece and enjoy it
mrsh enjoy your hols
keep my kitty is my fur baby and I wouldn't be without her even though she is a little madame at times
most of the time in fact always can I ask how long you were away for, very thoughtful that you are getting them a kitten
mariana love your DD1's imagination with the songs and thanks to you and ceara I spent last night searching for a lovely sampler that has numbers and the alphabet on it, Barry also approves which is good
niknoks sorry about the scare, I have lots stretching things going on down there, I had a really sharp pain today that really took my breath away
perhaps I am a sook
I haven't bought/read any books yet, I am taking suggestions than shall look them up. A colleague said she would bring in some of hers for me to look at. I think routine is an individual thing, I know people who think they have a routine but seem totally disorganised to me, I am a little OCD anal retentative I've heard Gina Ford is a bit to controlling in her regimes, the midwife I see for IV says breastfeed on a kind of schedule and not just leave it up to the baby to decide otherwise you will never be able to go anywhere or plan anything, at the time I thought it made sense at the time but then I thought if the baby has other plans, I do like a routine and hope that we will get into one of some description earlish on but we shall see minibee might have other ideas
Gosh it's hard to go back to work! I swear the clock went backwards today
I'm amazed at the lazy daisy bargain I wished I'd known about it sooner. There is so much out there it is impossible to keep on top of it all no matter how much research you do. And I've done A LOT! I keep worrying that I've missed something crucial and now I don't have time to make up for it.
Mariana my instinct tells me that I'm with you re routines. I only flicked through the Gina ford book but instinctively don't feel it's for me. My gay friend tells me that his cousin swears by it and her 2 kids are beautifully behaved but I can't help wondering if they have been forced into 'beautiful' behaviour by such a strict regime. At the moment I feel that id like our relationship with shazlett to develop abit more organically. But maybe im just being naive.
I'm currently reading the continuum concept which is completely the opposite to ms ford. I've only just started so I'm not sure if this will provide any insights either.
Noks how did the appt go? All ok?
Keep I know, can you believe it? Only10 weeks to go. I haven't stopped feeling like its a game and not really going to happen. This week had given me a tiny insight into the world of a toddler and I don't feel so bad now. I know a week isn't a life time but I've seen that I'm able to feed, change and keep her clean at least. I even had to 'help' her go to the loo poor thing.
How did the scan go today motor?
I decided to go for the 4d scan groupon. I'm still in 2 minds about it but I did it anyway. We have it next Monday. We definitely won't find out the sex. Im nervous about seeing what shazlett looks like.
I read yesterday that the baby takes loads of calcium now every day for developing bones so I'm going home to mash up a tin of salmon bones and all to make fish cakes
Oh and has anyone started their birth plan? Any tips? My MW wants mine next week. What do you all think about vit k injections at birth?. I don't know what to do for the best. X
We cross posted. Oh yes let's all meet up again. I've got NCT on Saturday mornings starting this sat but can meet up afterwards. And as gin is going to be there too maybe we can travel together. Lets look at dates.
noks you have made me very happy! How little it can take to make the day seem better:-) I'm sorry to hear about your scare, though. Hope the midwife was able to set minds at rest?
buzzy, I'm glad you're going ahead with project sampler, I'm sure your little one will love it too in years to come.
Furbabies, hmmm - how do those of us with these creatures in our lives already plan to deal with introducing a human baby to the happy home? We have a kitty too, a rescue mog with deceptive "cute ickle thick furball" looks which belie decided opinions and the manners, morals, vocabulary and swaggering confidence of a backstreet alley cat. My guess is he will not be chuffed by disruption in his little world...
Hi all! 12 week scan went well. Mini Motor has got all the right measurements and a good strong heartbeat. He was wriggling around quite a bit, and the midwife sonographer said that everything looks normal and healthy. I really can't believe it. I was so convinced that the baby had died. I think that now I am moving into unchartered territory (last pregnancy mmc detected at 12 week scan) and I just want to leave the past behind and ditch at least some of the anxiety. Going to take Mr Motor out for dinner tonight for being such a wonderful support over the past few weeks - I convinced him that it would be a great idea to have IVF, and since I got pregnant have been more miserable and tormented than he has ever known me! Poor chap.
ceara DH wants to find out the sex, and I don't. We haven't quite worked out who will get their way yet.
Love to all. Sorry for the me, me, me post. Can start being more sociable from now.
ceara I love the description of your kitty, mine is going to have to give up her room for the baby, she is very demanding for attention in the morning so I don't see it going down well I keep saying that we are bringing another person in the world to love her but in reality its someone who will deprive her of attention and pull her tail
shazza A meet up would be great, I haven't even looked into birthing classes, when should I start doing this
Motor really brilliant news! I hope you have a lovely evening!
shazz, I don't think you'd be a Fordite. We have friends who swore by her and their two kids were like robots but it felt a bit too good to be true and just a bit too regimented - but they probably think we're chaotic. Each to their own! I was baby led all the way last time except for controlled crying, which is what a lot of people object to with routines. Just shows how we all pick and choose what works for us. This is why I liked the What mothers do book as she wasn't judging anybody's approach.
I don't have a sampler for me but I have three dresses my grandma made for me as a baby that I have dressed mine in. She was a dressmaker so they are beautifully sewn, ditsy floral cotton, with pin tucks, puff sleeves and whatnot. I took Trenchlet to visit her the other week wearing one. Grandma (93) was pleased to see her handiwork still in use, although she did object to the jeggings Trenchlet was wearing under the dress.
No pets here, DD1 asks me every day for a pet. She believes my genuine allergy to fur also excludes goldfish. One more day before school starts. I am absolutely exhausted. Today we have done hoovering, play dough, drawing, laundry, painting, mopping, stickers, TV, supermarket, glueing, singing to the baby, more TV, more drawing and now, finally she's in bed. I need a drink.
I don't think I'm skilled enough to start making clothes or embroidery for the baby, but I am making a CD. Anybody else done/doing this? I'm putting songs which crop up which are significant.
motor sorry we x posts, that is great news, welcome to uncharted territory great idea about the CD
I have just looked at the mat policy for where I work and I think it looks better than I first thought, best to get Barry to look over it though
mariana I love the idea of having something to pass on to the next generation, my mum has some baby clothes that she thought her grand children would wear, pity she fell out with both her daughters, I did make my nieces christening gown but then my sister pissed about with setting a date so she was too big to fit in properly
Hi all- I'm also counting down the days until DS girs back to school-*mariana*. He just had so much energy when it isn't being siphoned off five days a week. Luckily the weather has been so good we've got away with park and paddling pool five days in a row!
I've got that Naomi Stadlen book and it is wonderful, thank you for reminding me of it.
motor I am so so happy for you and little Motor! It will all start to feel different now.
noks I was having some twinges today too but am sure it is just this great creaking watermelon of a womb I have. Seriously I look like I swallowed a dinosaur egg. Try not to fret. Your DH is a contractor too? I am so sick of it and so is DH, it is just such a common mode of working in his field.
shazza and buzzy I can see the value of trying sleep training like mariana when the baby is older but the idea of forcing a very young baby to feed on schedule just strikes me as misery for both you and baby. Especially when you are breast feeding because when they start wailing your body starts to oblige by leaking - what do you do, put the hungry little thing in a cot and plug your ears while you count down the alloted 30 min or whatever? I think people who found the whole schedule feeding worked had children who were quite orderly and quiet anyway. And it really isn't so inconvenient to BF when you are out and about anyway, that is the beauty of it.
The only book I really followed was called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr M Weissbluth. He really emphasises the importance if establishing regular naps and bedtimes early on because he thinks many children are too tired in our society. I found it quite sensible and DS has always napped and gone to bed easily so maybe it worked! However he has always woke up a lot at night so I haven't had a complete win on that count.
I can't believe I am next up on this thread for the big day. I keep thinking it's ages from now. However I did book the birthing pool today and buy some sleep suits in the weekend so I will get there eventually. Waiting to give birth is the weirdest thing because you know you will definitely have this major life changing experience some time in the next X weeks but just not when or exactly how. Can't think if anything comparable.
ceara we have a cat but she is totally chilled so I'm not worried about the baby pissing her off except on cold nights when she likes to sleep on our bed and if we have the baby with us she might get booted out.
Welcome back shazz! So pleased to hear you had a fab holiday and how lovely that you got on so well with your niece. You will make such a fab mum! I am looking forward to Sat. A tad scared - hope the teacher is good and not too judgey. Not sure Mr G is looking forward to it though... I'm going back to yoga next week, which is when I think the teacher is back. Hope you enjoy it!
I think I'm with mariana re routines and I don't intend to read much re baby pop psychology. My friend has bought me a baby basics book, which is great and no doubt I'll rely on dr google and try to find my own way through things. I say now ... I'll prob end up desperate and read everything I can when the baby won't sleep!
noks I too get the pseudo period pains occasionally
and go mad on google In fact I wonder if I still have a bit of a hormonal monthly cycle, as have been getting spots, headaches and pains at about what would be my normal period time. Or it could just be hormone rises or somethink. I also get random pains that I put down to wind or the ginster being wedged under an internal organ. Hope all went well with the MW.
keep I totally know what you mean bout playing a part. I spend so long worrying about this pregnancy and putting all my efforts into it that I sometimes forget there will be a real life baby at the end!
ceara my HR told me about the bank hols I think all work places have to give them to you with accrued paid annual leave? Our fur baby is a kind that lives in a cage, so should be fine! Just hoping ginster isn't allergic to her. Fur baby is a girl too - mr G will be totally outnumbered!
buzz another meet up would be great. I like shazz's idea of a sat lunch post nct. I think a sampler is a beautiful idea and am hoping MIL may do one for the ginster.
mrshy your baby moon sounds ace. We had a lush boutique night away a few weeks ago and that's it for us!
Yay motor, great news re the scan! I'm not sure the anxiety ever stops, but hope you feel reassured for the moment.
fairy not long to go now
I ended up doing much more 'having a break' from the decorating yesterday than I did decorating! I did have a bit of a melt down last night when I realised that the undercoat we'd been using was for gloss ie not to be put over whole walls or used by preggos. After much googling, despite the NHS advice not to use it, I couldn't find much evidence of what it could do to the baby and any concerns were based on studies of glue sniffers! Obviously this didn't stop me wailing about having poisoned our baby, but she's moving lots today
Just a quickie - I have just received my weekly NHS email, which says that you should take folic acid (before I amended that, I had written frolic acid!) until 12 weeks. I thought you just took it throughout pregnancy. Also, it seems to me that with a good diet, you don't really need pregnancy vitamins. I would happily give them up but scared I'd be lacking in something. I'm vegetarian, so know I would have to ensure I got the B vitamins. Any thoughts?
gin I have been quite paranoid about chemicals since that misguided and much maligned paper issued by the Royal College of Obstetrics recently which basically said that you had to avoid anything and everything, just to be on the safe side. Re-decorating the house goes hand in hand with expecting a baby, doesn't it? I'm sure you'll be fine, but it could be a very good excuse for getting other people to do the work for you.
Motor well done for your scan and welcome to unchartered territory. Hurrah. So excited for you I hope you and mr motor had a lovely meal to celebrate I also thought about making a mix tape (I'm old and that's what they used to call them in my day) for shazlett. I'm thinking about songs I can sing to her. Mainly musical theatre greats! I'm taking pregnacare throughout. I'm also veggie (eat fish) and was dairy free for a while. I then panicked about calcium so have started eating yoghurt although my chronic skin condition isn't thanking me. The sacrifices have started already! make sure you eat loads of beans and pulses for protein. I make tonnes of hummous and eat it with oat cakes and veggies as snacks.
Buzzy look and see if those lazy daisy classes are near you. They sound great and affordable and will give you a good start. Are you signed up for antenatal classes with the MW?
Mariana the what mothers do book sounds ace. Can't wait to get my copy. I think that I'll be knocking on your door for advice (even more than now) cause I like the sound of what you have going on with trenchlet how is she doing?
Fairy I laughed outloud about your dinosaur egg! Well done for getting the pool. Have you done a birth plan yet? When do you start mat leave?
Gin I'd forgotten all about periods. We have to go back to that every month. What a pain! After Noks' post I asked work about bank hols <desperate to get more time with the baby> but HR rep didn't think they give me them. She went off to investigate. It is so worrying about the paint isn't it but I'm sure you won't have poisoned Ginster. Think of all those b&q ads that have pregnant couples painting nurseries. Do take it easy though.
Huge hello to everyone else. Gorgeous pic of Bella waving hello on FB
I couldn't be less interested in going to work. I slept so badly. Up 4 or 5 times for a wee and couldn't get comfy. I also got a nosebleed in the night. Ive been getting very stuffy at night and there is blood on the tissue when I blow. Sorry TMI! Apparently this is common.
Have a good day. X
Oh and Gin don't worry about MrG on Saturday. He can team up with Mr Shaz. Im looking forward to it. Hopefully it will be fun. I hope we don't have to watch any birth videos though. Im supposed to avoid them with hypnobirthing.
That's a plan shazz! Mr Shazz is northern too isn't he? Although he sounds much more refined! I think it should be fun and hopefully make me feel a bit more prepared. Slightly gutted about the Lazy Daisy ones being so much cheaper, but I guess with nct ones we should meet people in our own hood.
motor I too am a veggie. I've been taking the pre conception/pregnancy multivits for approximately 3 years now! Before ttc I used to take a general multi vit with iron in it, cos I know I don't get enough, so made sure the conception vits have iron in them. The only thing I know I def don't get are the omega 3s, as I don't eat fish. I did try flax seed oil for a bit, but kinda forgot about it! Must get some more. shazz your humous sounds delish!
motor you only need to take folic acid until 12 weeks because (I think) that is when the neural tube is completed and the point of the folic acid is to reduce neural tube defects (eg a hole in the spinal cord). As long as you eat a healthy balanced diet (which doesn't need meat) then I wouldn't worry about vitamin deficiencies, including vit B. They always say that the baby takes what it needs from you anyway and you end up deficient not him or her!
gin I wouldn't panic about inhaling paint fumes. They advise against it but I think that is just so as to minimise all possible risk - and because conceivably there may be pregnant women who would otherwise expose themselves to fumes all day long for weeks on end when pregnant (or are glue sniffers!) and so they want to prevent those extreme cases. As shazza says, most parents do some repainting/DIY before the baby comes. My DH is repainting the bits of our house that look shabby and although I haven't been helping him, I haven't moved out either.
shazza I have the start of a birth plan - eg home birth, birthing pool, transfer to hosp if signs of distress, vit K injection (don't see the problem with it really but I can't remember all the details), I have chosen 'active' management of the third stage, eg where they give you an injection to deliver the placenta rather than waiting for it to come out naturally because I had a post-partum haemorrhage with DS and there is a slightly increased risk of heavy bleeding with the natural management. I don't want a PPH again, especially if I am at home!
I am not officially starting mat leave until Friday, 27 Sept but I am winding down and hoping to get a few days off before then. As long as I manage my own work I pretty well set my own schedule so it is really up to me and how quickly i can get my replacement up to speed.
Fairy I think we have similar approaches. The leaking milk when they cry just reinforces feeding on demand in my experience. It's a relief to latch them on, for you and the baby.
Gin don't worry about the paint. Exhaust fumes are probably as bad and we don't avoid them as we can't. (Well unless you live in the sticks! Although here in the sticks we have slurry to contend with...)
Motor I suspect the reason why they say up to 12 weeks is to lessen financial pressure on poorer people to buy expensive prenatal vits throughout. There is little evidence for the benefit of supplements so it's not ethical to say they're essential, but we get sucked in, just in case. I have a very good diet yet I still spent £££ on pregnacare and omega 3. The diets of everyone on here sound absolutely fine to me, I don't want to sound all Jamie Oliver but most people have shocking diets and their babies are fine. As a vegetarian I'd watch your iron, that's all.
Shazz Trenchlet is fine thanks, she's currently feeding away happily. I put up a newer pic of her too. She's learned to roll over and discovered playing with her feet. She has started cawing like a crow when she's drifting off to sleep on my shoulder. It's very amusing. I forgot to say that I'm glad you felt reassured by spending time with your niece - and babies are easier than toddlers.
I hope MrS sells lots of paintings. Does he have a website - I'd love to see his work - can you send me a link? And yours too if you have them anywhere. I'm a bit of a frustrated artist myself, I used to do life classes at my local art school years ago but I have to make do with doing creative things with DD1 these days. I have a few original paintings (from when I had money!) and would love more, but we're just too skint these days.
Oh and every time I blew my nose when pregnant there was a bit of blood. It's something to do with increased blood flow isn't it?
DH is away again but my mum has come to stay thankfully. I have one more day to fill with DD1, I'll take her blackberry picking shortly and then we can make a pie or something, that she will then of course refuse to eat.
Also what fairy said about neural tube defects and folic acid. That's the main reason!
shazza I have blood but only from my left nostrel when I blow my nose, i've looked at the daisy classes but want to view some more first, as we'll have to do it on the weeken I need something close by as we only have the weekend to get everything done
motor its up to you if you want to carry on or not, you don't have to take pregnacare but vitobiotix do a 3 for 2 offer online but most multi vits are the same, you should have had you your iron levels checked along with all your blood tests and if you need anything the mw's will supply you with some
I hope you have had a good day.
Yes, Gin, Mr Shaz is a yorkshire lad. I will say though that he is well into all the pregnancy classes. He has been brilliant at embracing hypnobirthing. I'm sure that he will reassure Mr Gin.
Fairy I was concerned about giving Shazlett an injection so soon after being born. I have read about giving Vitamin K orally so I thought that I would investigate that more. Your point about active third stage is interesting. I didn't know that. I will look into it so thanks for sharing. Good news that you can wind down abit. I'm not too busy at work at the moment but I expect it will pick up once the term starts. They haven't even advertised for my cover yet. I leave in 6.5 weeks, they had better get a wriggle on.
mariana Trenchlet's new pic is so cute. She looks so lively and alert. I have also spent £££s on supplements. I started when TTC and am now too superstitious to stop. DP is constantly telling me that crack addicts get pregnant and have babies so Shazlet will be fine with my healthy diet. I'll PM you with mine and DPs websites if you are interested. Lucky you having some original paintings. We have a few different things, mainly from DPs students (he teaches one day a week). He doesn't want any of his paintings in the flat although we do have a couple things that I love. it is good if you can maintain some creativity. I'm hoping to keep it up once Shazlet is born. Because DP is freelance, we are hoping to share childcare once we have got ourselves a 'routine'. Glad your mum has come to stay. Did you make a pie?
Buzzy My iron levels were borderline after my last blood tests from MW and she recommended that I get Spatone so I have ordered them on Amazon. She didn't volunteer getting them for me for free though. Funnily enough I also bleed from my left nostril. The stuffiness is worse at night. Have you checked out how much NCT costs in your area? The price seems to vary so much.
Hello to everyone else. I hope that you are all ok this evening.
DP is going to be late again tonight so I'm off to bed. Night Night xx
noks My friends thought the baby whisperer 'routine' was quite good. Take Gina out of the library, have a read, and take out of it what makes sense to you. I was all going to be Gina but with a prem baby this all goes out the window.
Fairy OMG re job, that's a bit of stress you could do without, nothing you can do about it though.
Shazz re birth plan perhaps you want to discuss delayed cord clamping with your NCT group.
Good Bella News: On Mon morning they do the big Drs round on SCBU and her Dr came to have a chat with me as a result. Normally he's v cagey re discharge date but this time he said he can see her being released in a week / ten days time!! I am insanely excited. On Monday she was 34 weeks and should have grown out of bradycardias and apnoeas (forgetting to breathe). (They give the babies caffeine to stop this!) She needs to be able to regulate her own temperature. She's on a heated mattress at the moment but she's being weaned off that. The next big thing is getting the feeding down. Dr thinks she will get the hang of this in a week, I think this is ambitious, but even if it takes longer it means end at the light of the tunnel. I can't wait to leave the hospital WITH a baby. I can't wait for her to sleep on my chest, she always looks so peaceful when she does. I can't wait to respond to her cry in the night, rather than the nurses who probably leave her to cry. I can't wait to just have her with me all the time.
So we now have to get the nursery done quick smart. (Oh and shaz YES share your buggy research. My main concerns are weight, foldability and being able to run with it. I also prefer mum-facing buggy, rather than fwd facing.) My mum's visit turns out to be fortunate timing! I couldn't sleep last night, worrying about germs, how to keep SIL's disease riddled children away, what to do if she won't feed or cries the whole time. (She gets irate really quickly if she's not fed on time, and she can't concentrate on BFing properly when she's besides herself!)
Not sure how DH is doing at the moment. He's averaging a bottle of wine a night. I mentioned earlier this evening to raise money for the neonatal ward and he said (after said bottle) that he still feels angry with the hospital, because he should have taken home two girls rather than one ... now I feel sad for him!
and for you non-FB people there is a new, incredibly cute, Bella picture on my MN gallery.
Aw she's lovely Dildals, she looks do much bigger and stronger now. I do hope she's home sooner rather than later. Doctors are not generally that overly optimistic so I hope it is only another couple of weeks. I think you will feel so utterly different lying in your own bed with her sleeping on your chest. She won't cry all the time as you'll be there with her all the time! Keep the children away at first if it makes you feel better - I'm sure people will understand.
I would keep a close eye on DH's drinking (I'm sure you are). My DH drinks too much when he's really stressed but he realises when this is happening and stops it. I hope your DH can get some support though. Everything will still be so raw for both of you, it takes years to 'process' the grief.
I recommend Spatone too, you can't get it on prescription but it's often on 3 for 2 in Boots. Very gentle with no gastric side effects.
Shazza, thanks for the links, I've been browsing during this 5am feed. I've never even considered the injection element of vitamin k! I can see why the oral dose might be more preferable.
I've never written a birth plan as first time I just didn't know what to write other than keeping an open mind and with an ELCS nobody gave me any choices about anything. I think that quite sadly I assumed that birth would be traumatic for both baby and mother but we would both get over it! I wish I hadn't felt like that but it's too late now.
First day of school today. I was quite tearful when I went in to tuck her in last night - my baby can't be going to school already! Her uniform looks so grown up and she's still so awfully young. I'll have to be brave, at least with mum being here I can leave the baby with her and take DD1 on my own so she has my full attention for once.
Great pic dildals - she is so beautiful!
On a wim yesterday I ordered the The Attachment Parenting book by Dr Sears - anyone read it? I also ordered Mariana's recommendation.
I hope the first day of school goes well for all those in their new uniform.
Dildals amazing news about Bella. How exciting. It will be so brilliant to take her home. It is so sweet how you are looking forward to all those things. Throughout pregnancy and now in motherhood you have remained calm, positive and an inspiration. My heart goes out to DH. I hope that you both get some support to help come to terms with the overwhelming grief of your terrible loss.
Re pushchairs I'll send you the ones I looked at. I didn't want to run though so all mine are 4 wheels. I plumped for the mountain buggy cosmopolitan which is mountain buggys 'urban' 4 wheeler. You could check out all the others in the range which are 3 wheelers and all terrain. It is so easy to fold. It's got memory buttons so once they are depressed I can fold it with one hand. I couldn't find one that met ALL my criteria, I had a long list so there are compromises but on the whole I like it.
Thanks for reminding me re cord clamping that's definitely something to include.
Thanks for checking out the links Mariana. I hope it wasn't overload. . I think that many people feel the way you did about birth. That was the option open for you and you coped in the best way you could. Being open minded sounds like its the best way forward. I may be full of naive aspirations now but on the day it could <probably will> all change.
Motor I haven't read the sears book although I've heard of it. Instinctively I think I lean more towards attachment parenting than gina although as discussed on here I think that I probably will take abit from everywhere and find my own way. My cousin was/is an attachment parent and has stayed with her daughter pretty much constantly for 8 years. She is even home schooled. I can't do that for practical reasons but that is quite extreme.
I keep meaning to tell you that there was a tuppence and crumble promotion code in the NCT mag. NCTCOSI will get you 10% off those super cute star fleeces. It all helps! Xx
Hi all, we had our first nct class the other night. It was actually really good, and the lady didn't push home births or breastfeeding, and did talk about pain relief in a non biased way, I felt. Some of the nct literature was a bit more dubious, so I think it depends on your practitioner. She did some reenactments of contractions, which was.... Odd. But there were some nice couples there so hopefully we can make some friends <needy>
shaz I'm gonna keep my birth plan simple, so I'll be more likely to stick to it. I will have the injection as I don't see what's wrong with it, and it's the most effective way. Surely birth is more painful for babies than a short needle prick. I want skin to skin asap. I want delayed cord clamping, I want dh to cut the cord. I want a managed third stage. I don't want pethadin. I would like a water birth if possible. Other than that I think I'll play it by ear.
Started my new job, so knackered, but enjoying it.
Glad you are enjoying work. That's half the battle.
Thanks for sharing birth plan. Sounds good. When you say managed 3rd stage do you mean having the placenta actively delivered like fairy said? Sorry to ask but I hadn't really thought that bit through. I'm going to ask the midwife when I see her next week.
Good news that NCT was helpful. We start on Saturday.
I'm going to preg yoga tonight. Although I've been exercising alone this is my first class.
dildals that's AMAZInG news that Bella will likely be home in a couple of weeks. Just brilliant. She's a tough little cookie I'm so sorry your dh is still so angry, though I'm sure I would be too, and you're doing brilliantly. You have so much going on right now I don't know how you could even begin to process it all.. Oh, and you're planning to run with a buggy?! Won't that be a bit jolty for Bella, or is it some super duper hover-buggy. I'm still clueless, see. We're getting the bugaboo bee from my sister - apparently the ultimate urban one - small, light, easy to turn and take on buses.
gin I'm not sure I'll read any baby books before the birth either, and then will panic and read manically. It still seems unreal, like reading a guidebook to a country before you get there - I can never focus or imagine it. Maybe that's something to do once I stop work, and am too huge to move.
noks what did the doc say?
buzzy we were away for a year. I was so sad to leave her, but she couldn't have come. She's a right little madam too. As we are sleeping on an airbed at the moment
don't ask she's obviously not allowed in our room, so stands outside and cries. Grr. Not sure how she'll take to Kip, since she gets jealous if you read a book, use iPad, stop stroking her...
Yes shaz, I think they give you some drugs to move it on its way. The nct lady said most people are so involved with the baby they barely notice what's going on by then
Oh I did read something that I thought I'd add, about DP telling me the sex rather than the midwife shouting it out. I also am going to put all the other things you mention. Along with I don't want an evc or whatever it is called if the baby is breech but that would be before birth anyway. I also hope to avoid sweeps, induction and unnecessary monitoring and internal examinations. But hopefully if we are at home anyway then our midwife is lovely and I'm sure wont push me into anything.
Oh yes, good one! I want that too! I would be induced at 41+11, or for medical reasons, I wouldn't mind. It's dangerous to go too far over.
dildals great news about little Bella, I am sorry your husband feels that way but is understandable,
shazza they said my iron levels were fine but reserves were low but they give you the tablets, usually they cause me to get bunged up but so far I've been ok in that department
keep reenactments of contractions my friend has just had her little boy so I plan to ask her for all the gory details, thanks for sharing your birthing plan, something I need to add to my list of things to do, glad you enjoyed your first day at work
mariana I hope DD1 was ok today and you as well
another lady recommended the Baby Whisperer to me so might look into that one
Dildals fantastic news on Bella, not long now until she is home with you and DH. As the others say just keep an eye on DH and once Bella is home I am sure things will improve.
Shazza I was advised to drink orange juice with each meal to increase iron absorption from the food I eat. So far I haven't had any issue so it must be working.
We have a very giddy 1 year old cocker spaniel/poodle cross. I am planning to use baby gates to prevent too much interaction in the early days and when I am on my own with the babies. My DM already has it in her head that we won't be able to cope with twins and dog so the dog will be going. We will have to wait and see as poor dog has done nothing wrong to warrant being written off.
I promise you'll not care one jot about a managed third stage. I don't even remember it with DD1 I was so enchanted by her. I had loads of internal exams, including scalp monitor on her head (she still has tiny scars), heartbeat monitoring etc but I didn't mind as I thought that was best for the baby. She had an irregular heartbeat and the cord wrapped twice around her neck - with hindsight I was glad of all that monitoring!
Anyway, that baby started school today. I started crying before I was even out of the classroom. She seemed to have a good time, made two friends and they had to say prayers at the end of the day. Of course, good old atheist me had completely forgotten to explain about god and praying and it's a C of E school. She seemed to have taken it in her stride.
Hope everyone had a good day. I'm so tired I could die and really hoping for a good night tonight.
dildals such good news that Bella may be able to go home sooner than you'd thought. I'm sorry things are so tough though, with remembering Georgia and having to grieve your loss at the same time.
motor belated congratulations on good scan news and on reaching the second trimester, it must be momentous to pass this milestone after what happened last time. I'm glad you and Mr Motor were able to celebrate in good style.
fairy lucky you having a chilled out cat. Ours is chilled only when life is going his way. The dinosaur egg is one vivid and mildly alarming image! I still have no real bump at half way and it is hard to believe how much growing will get done in the second half.
noks hope all is well?
sweetie that's interesting about orange juice and iron absorption. My iron levels are good, I wonder if the orange juice has helped?
shazz stuffy nose here too, for weeks. Sounds like it's universal.
The book recommendations sound really interesting. As others have said, it's difficult sometimes to remember that pregnancy is (all being well) just the start, and to look beyond.
Mariana the new picture of trenchlet is lovely, she has grown and changed so much but still looking so interested to be meeting the world. Yaay to surviving the first day of school as a parent.
Hi to everyone else too.
keep the recommendation is to only start running with the baby after they're 6 months old, but after that it is not an issue.
Mariana I'll be exactly the same if I have a baby in distress or with cord around neck etc. all of the wish list is assuming that it all goes swimmingly but all of my points have the caveat that they must speak to DP in the first instance if they truly believe medical intervention necessary and me if a decision has to be made in an emergency.
Thanks for the kind words re our work. And the excellent idea for a project for me I can't reply to pm's on the phone but I'll be on a computer tonight so i can catch up. I also owe PMs to dildals r epushchairs and expat re Facebook.
Talking of whom (is that right I get who and whom mixed up!) how are you getting on expat with mini al? Is she settling in?
I'm glad first day of school went well Mariana. It must be such a huge step more for the mums it seems than the kids.
Hello to everyone else. How are you all getting on this week?
I went to preg yoga last night. Hmmm not sure to be honest. I find it strange and intense to be in a room full of pregnant strangers. I couldn't help comparing myself to them. I thought my bump was pretty neat but I was huge compared to them! One girl was tiny and I thought she was going to be 16 weeks or something but she was29 weeks! That's one less than me. Crikey am i going to give birth to an elephant? I also suspect I was the oldest there. It was quite yummy mummy definitely no weapon dogs there despite being in the hood. This was confirmed when one mentioned that she had bought a bugaboo chameleon which sparked a conversation re the merits of the chameleon vs the bee.
The class was ok I suppose, a bit of stretching and breathing but just when we had finished what I thought was the warm up the teacher told us to settle for relaxation! After what seemed like hours (must have been about15 mins) I woke up in a darkened room. For a moment I thought everyone had gone home and left me so I opened my eyes and checked that they were all still there. We laid there for another 5 mins or so. By this time I was starting to feel that it had gone on way too long. The teacher finally brought us round and she was sitting there with tea and biscuits!! All very nice I suppose but this meant that a third of the class(£5.33 worth) was sleeping and refreshments! To top it all off we had a brief chat about when we were starting or had done NCT. The assumption being that of course we were all doing it despite it costing hundreds of pounds. So all in all I'm not sure it was worth it. It was a stand in teacher so I think ill go back next week, 1. To pay as I didn't realise it was cash only so I didn't pay and 2. To check out the proper teacher who my MW raves about. Gin was the class like this when you did it?
I'm gutted that the lazy daisy woman in Brixton isn't doing classes at the mo. she said there is one in Herne hill but that is too much of a faff for me to get to.
It's a lovely morning in London. It had the promise of a hot day. My feet are still balloons though with the heat.
shaz that's a bit of a disappointing yoga class. I went to one in Thailand which was similiar, but I was much earlier on and felt a bit out of place. TBH it sounds like I'd rather do my own thing at home, for free, and much quicker! But I suppose if you meet some nice people then it'd be worth it. Also, that's mega expensive - £16!!
ceara I think the bump starts to grow quite fast after about 22 weeks. At least mine has. Every morning dh does a double take at me, i think he forgets.... Having said that I agree with shaz i was obsessed with bump watch at hte nct class - who is how many weeks, etc. It's amazing how much things differ. I don't think it means anything in terms of baby size (excluding sweetie's jumbo twins ).
OK i have a bit of a question . I've had mild diarrhoea (just loose really) the last couple of days. Haven't eaten anything dodgy. I am now freaking out because at NCT they said diarhoea often heralded labour. So, has anyone else had this. Is it just because the baby's growing and all? DH says I'm being silly, and I do so hope he's right.
Lovely day up here too. Shame I'm in the office.
Ha Shazza, I always used to feel like the largest, oldest and poorest at things like that! It sounds a bit mild though. I knew two girls when I was pregnant with DD1 and they both must have been size 6/8 at most. I was a 12 and felt like some sort of minor planet. They never seemed to eat anything and their bumps at full term were like me at 8 weeks. Our babies were all around the same weight though which just shows.
In my experience they do always ask before initiating anything, even with the complications with DD1 I still fully consented to everything and although I felt pretty battered afterwards, I didn't feel anything unnecessary had been done, or anything against my wishes. I had also briefed DH so that he could advocate for me, I think that's a good thing to put in your plan shazza. (Although, seeing as you're going to sneeze this baby out in your living room, it'll all hopefully be merely a technicality!)
Noks how are you? Let us know.
Day two of school drop off was fine, no tears from either of us. Today I'll take my mum out for lunch and then we'll go and browse some sewing shops. This is the upside of maternity leave!
I never got the hang of preggo pilates or yoga. A lot of it is pretending to actually do something. ( I am sure Expat will have my ass for this comment, but she's prob too busy with other stuff! :-) )
keep diarrhoea (which could mean an infection) can be a sign of preterm labour, but I wouldn't worry about it, because v likely it is 'just one of those things'. The chances of going in to preterm labour because of an infection are really tiny. More likely that you will be cursing this child to come out in wk 41. Like the first trimester spotting which worries us all greatly but in most cases turns out to be absolutely nothing.
First things first. mariana fairy any advice on mattresses for cots? We're going to Kiddicare on Sat to buy all the odds n ends we need (which is not that much really, buggy is the main item). Any advice on bedding? I will also buy a cot bumper. She won't be in her cot for the next 12 yrs anyway. (SHE WILL BE ON MY CHEST!!!) Also. You mentioned those grow bags, aka baby sleeping bags. You suggested certain togs? These sleeping bags are only from a certain age upwards right? (I do like them so I though I might as well purchase them) I feel v disorganised. I need to pull up your old list Mariana! Other random things I worry about. Will DH's snoring wake Bella up? Also, on this thread the Crumble & Tuppence star blankets were mentioned? was that just because they're cute? I guess they're good for in the buggy when it gets cold? I am a bit hesitant with fleece n babies, because of the risk of overheating. Thoughts?
Another thing she might need is actual clothes! I have been dressing her in hospital garb because prem sleepsuits are quite hard to come by! (There's lots of vests and body suits around, but hardly any longsleeved items. I may have to nab some frm the hospital!) Minor point.
God. I had a total melt down yesterday. So embarrassing. I hate crying in front of the nurses but I think I may have repeated about ten thousand times 'I just want to go home'. Now that the D word has been mentioned and the end is in sight I Just Want To Go Home. I have lost all mental capacity for patience or rational thought. She's so close now but she needs to learn how to feed. We're not even talking bottle or breast, I am talking coordinating sucking, swallowing and breathing. Yesterday she had her first go on the bottle. She's a bit clumsy still, but she'll get it I am sure. Bottle is pretty easy after all. The breastfeeding thing is another matter. She sucks but doesn't seem to get anything out. It could be that she's just not v good at it, but my breasts don't leak and I don't have like a gushing flow when I express either, so now I am worried it's my breasts that are the problem.Also, I am paranoid that I will get stuck in hospital longer because I am breastfeeding whereas I might be able to take her home on bottles of expressed milk. Really I should worry about that when we get to that bridge, instead of now ... Also, it is tempting now to say that I will bottle feed her expressed milk, but I might be cursing myself x weeks down the line having to express every time she feeds.
Dildals it must be frustrating to be so close yet not quite. But Bella is doing so well and has come so far it sounds like she will get the hang of feeding and once you are ready at home she will be with you on no time. I can't wait to meet her. She sounds great.
I thought that sweetie said that the star fleeces are really useful to go out in the buggy cause you can open them easily. The fact that they are also cute is a bonus. I'll send you the pushchair stuff tonight.
Mariana glad school run was ok this morning. Oh God I wish I'd sneeze and pop shazlett out in time for tea and a biscuit. I'll probably be posting from my hospital bed after the epidural has kicked in . Can't wait to be visiting sewing shops with my mum and baby in tow
Keep sorry about the diarrhoea. Sounds like it is a minor blip though. I know what you mean re making friends. I'm already paying for NCT to do that. Also given that gin also attends both yoga and nct and we are already friends and there are all of you in london and further afield i feel like I've got loads of friends. Maybe I'll stick to yoga with my DVD afterall.
Keep, I cross posted with you. I wouldn't worry about a bit of diarrhea, it can be a sign yes but it's more than likely just something you ate annoying your guts.
dildals I think it has probably done you good to have a big cry. You've got so much on your plate. Bella is getting there, she's doing so very well already, you will have her home soon and you will find the best way for her to feed for both of you.
Two or 2.5 tog sleeping bags are what I use every day - Grobag is a good make. The baby has to be over 7.5 pounds though I think. Cot mattress - we have a Mothercare one that cost £75 I think. I don't think it's anything special.
mariana the new trenchlet is just gorgeous -she looks such a happy smiley baby. Pleased to hear school went ok. Did DD enjoy it?
shazz the yoga is a bit yummy mummy isn't it? When I went there were quite a few from the balham ( posh) end of the hood. I found the half hour of relaxation a bit bollocks too and would rather have gone home! I panicked that she'd abandoned us and then got the giggles at the oddness of the situation. I did find that generally people took it a bit too seriously... As a super unfit person I found the level of activity about right
a bit knackering and will try to go to the odd class as my back felt amazing afterwards!
Btw, at the picnic your bump was totally gorgeous! Just the right size and v neat and tidy I thought. Am looking forward to seeing you on Sat. Did you get the email/text from the teacher?
keep sorry to hear about the squits. Am sure it's just one of those things. I think it'd have to be pretty severe to be an infection or bring on labour ( well that's what the new scientist lady's book says). Hope you feel better soon.
dildals I 'm not surprised you had a good ole cry. It must be so hard. But very soon you will be able to bring your little Bella home. She looks like she's grown so much in the latest pics.
ceara I'm sure you bump will pop out any day! I think it really does depend on how you're carrying them, position etc.
sweetie your fur baby sounds ace. And I'm sure you'll manage just fine with the dog and baby.
Oh and can I ask mariana what bedding you would use for a tiny baby in winter, if too small for grow bags <clueless face>
Waves to everyone else.
Birth plans hmmm. At the moment mine involves pink champagne once the baby is safely out and that's it! I don't really have strong opinions and am happy to follow whatever the clinical staff recommend (unless it hurts a lot and I want big drugs). I guess the NCT classes may help, but in a way I'd rather be flexible and then not disappointed if I don't get my plan.
The ginster kicked me so hard this morning that she made my handbag move, which was in my lap! I can't believe how much movement there is, but I do love it and find it v reassuring. Am surprised at how low down some kicks are
in my foof basically
gin the first time I got kicked in the foof we were at a concert and I almost jumped out of my chair!
I wasn't really thinking of an infection, more just worried it was a sign of imminent labour. But all else is normal, so I'm sure its fine. Thanks all.
trenchlet is just so damned gorgeous, Mariana!
I also get kicked in the good daily. First time it happened I was talking to my boss and i jumped so much I thought I was going to piss myself
I'm so very farty today. I feel like I've been holding in bubbles all day. It must be like a jacuzzi in there for shazlett!
Me too shaz I can feel, and hear whooshes, going round the outside of the baby.
Oh god, at nct my stomach did a huge long growl, I was so embarrassed. Dh said no one would have thought it a fart, but still
keep A bit late but I've had loose stools on occasion, at your disguised fart
dildals it must be tough, you are on the home stretch now, ebay might have some prem clothes
shazza I did at your yoga chat, they sound a bit umm precious to me, I don't think you are having an elephant, I still look fat at 19 weeks, I'm waiting for my patient to finally get up the nerve to ask if I am just fat or pregnant
mariana Glad there were no tears today
ceara sorry when did yo say your 20 week scan was ?? I'm slightly forgetful these days
I've been having lots of 'feeling' down there, I think its just more stretching than minibee as some of the 'feelings' are quite strong, still feeling a bit sick, thankfully we have a lift where I work which makes life at little
A colleague who was seeing a former patient of mine said that I needed to contact them as she is keen to knit for me someone else has told me she will give me some of her baby clothes too as she has girls. I have bought a bundle off Ebay so will have to see what turns up
The balham connection explains the clientele last night Gin. I was struggling to believe that they all lived in downtown Streatham. Although the house where the studio is is amazing. I was so jealous! I'll go next week. We can giggle together. Am also looking forward to seeing you on sat. Yes got the email and have bought a new notebook and pencil case set.
Keep heehee at suppressed farts. It takes such a lot of effort doesn't it?
Buzz are you feeling better now? Sorry you are still feeling sick. You have been so unlucky on that front, When is your 20 week scan? Good news re eBay bundle. I've got some girly stuff in the freecycle bundle so if shazlett is a boy and I decide against early cross dressing all you pink ladies can take your pick.
Blimey this bus is hot. I'm sweating like a beast. That, along with the farting and huge balloon feet makes me feel particularly attractive this evening!
Oh you poor things. Lie in a cool darkened room with your feet up
and fart to your hearts content.
Gin mmm to champagne. I also had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on my wish list. Then pate and blue cheese. DH had it all waiting for me the day I got home from hospital.
Thanks for the compliments about my girlie. She is so smiley and so chubby these days.
In winter I would dress the baby in a long sleeved vest and a sleepsuit. I would use a stretchy cotton swaddle wrap (arms free of they don't like them swaddled) but mostly to keep the legs covered. I'd then layer cellular blankets on top and loosely tuck them down the side of the cot mattress. If the room is average temperature I'd use a wrap and two blankets (or one folded in half). For every degree below 19 degrees I'd add another layer of cellular blanket. Feel the babies top of chest or back of neck to check they are warm but not too hot. Their hands are often cold so are not a reliable indicator. Also babies don't sweat very much so that's not reliable either, they can overheat without sweating. Oh and no hats indoors ever except when they are first born, for a few hours.
If your baby sleeps in the pram use blankets outside rather than them awful pram suit things as then you can remove a blanket without waking the baby when you get home and safely leave the baby to sleep on. Never leave a baby asleep in a pram by a radiator.
That is all my baby sleep / warmth knowledge!
I'm laughing out loud at all the windy dilemmas going on! I think I may be a bit hysterical as a response to the result for the combined test for Downs which put the baby at very low risk (1 in 1700). I hadn't realised I was worried about it, but my laughter suggests relief.
shazza I've never got yoga or Pilates myself, and don't intend to try in pregnancy. I know lots of people love it, and fair play but it's certainly not for me!
gin I love the pink champagne birth plan!
Love to all.
Mariana please come and live with me and teach me all you know!
I'm lying on the sofa in my pants with my feet up watching downtown abbey. And yes I have 'dropped' the odd one over the last hour. DP is still out!
I must get up now and make dinner.
Oh and motor hurrah for combined result. What a relief. You are...well motoring along now x
Hi all. I think I am living in the 1950s cost wise here oop narf...my lazy daisy classes are going to cost £36. In total. For six. I do love living in bumblefuck land sometimes!
mariana glad dd was ok at school. We had lots of nervous new starters this week, although we are secondary I can't believe how young they are. I spent most of lunchtime yesterday doing (teacher appropriate!) hugs and bag carrying for the nervous ones. They got very stressed about lunch!. Mind you, they'll be pissing me off in a few weeks and I'll resume normal grumpy service with them though.
Re:mattresses dildals...I always thought foam mattresses sounded 'cheap' compared to a sprung one, but we bought foam for dd1. It seemed more even and firm compared to the sprung ones. We got one that had a breathable but plastic cover on one side which was a godsend...they do get covered in all sorts over the short time they are used and I'd recommend. I think ours was from mothercare but that was before he age of kiddicare.
Talking of kiddicare...I got an email through today with a code for 15%off if you are spending over £100...only lasts until midnight next Monday but the code is SAVE15 if it's of any use to anyone. Really tempted to buy the pushchair now as that would buy it for under £400 <pokes *sweetie> but still feel 23 weeks is a bit early. Bought the first purchase today..ldd1 wanted to buy something for the babies so took her to tesco and let her choose a pack of babygros. Will probably be the only thing we buy but didn't want to curb her enthusiasm as it will be quite a big deal for her. Quite sweet considering she's been telling everyone shed have rather had a boy and a girl...
keep it is worth keeping an eye out but think it is fairly normal...I think if baby is low down then it's quite near your bowels so must have an effect. Iron tablets make me a bit ill sometimes.
Have been back to work since Tuesday. Feel as though I have been hit by a truck. Fine at work apart from being quite huge and immobile but as soon as it hits 4.30ish I am buggered. Straight to bed for me each night after grabbing some time with dd and eating something
mainly cheese toasties to be fair. Really hoping for midwife to take one look at me in a couple of weeks and sign me off, which is odd because I really love my job, but it's so hectic that it just doesn't feel right at the moment. Can't afford to finish earlier though so think I will just have to troop on through.
dildalswoop woop for Bella coming home soon. Must be an amazing feeling. Hope DH is ok, I remember getting really down a few weeks after because that's when everyone kind of forgets and gets on with it, but it isn't that easy. There are counsellors and so on but it depends on how you feel about it. I'd say if things are getting easier-even slowly- then that's ok, if not then maybe look into seeing someone. Really hope Bella the super trooper is back at home with you soon, it must be very surreal.
buzzy my sickness went at 16 weeks and returned at 29, the bastard. Four times at work today, it's not even reassuring any more now I can feel them
booting me in the foof , it's just horrible. You have my sympathy and empathy!
noks, give us a wave....
shazza I hope you feel better after your farting marathon on the sofa my 20 week scan is on Friday 13th, I feel I will need the reassurance by then again
crisp i'm resigned to the fact that I will feel crap for the next 20 weeks, are you able to cut down your days?? I have thought about asking my place, although I do leave early some days
Shazza it's all just stuff you pick up as you go along, it's only because I've done it before! Don't ask me about three year olds and their tantrums... Oh actually she's four now. That makes biting me as I wrestle her into the shower seem slightly worse.
Crisps thank you on behalf of those nervous kiddies parents for being a lovely kind teacher. it must be a real drag for you by now. It will be a big deal for DD1, mine has been much better than I thought but I think that's luck. i try to involve her by getting her to help and that seems to keep her happy. Yes, we really win the cost of living competition up here. But then as penance we have to live up here... (I joke. I absolutely love where I live, although my mum says shopping in my local town is like traveling back to the 1950s.)
Good evening Campers. I bring you this broadcast from the middle of my nine foot sausage pillow, live and direct from the Master Bedroom at Noks Towers. Or should I say...Trumpy Towers, because I too have been hit firmly on the botty with the good old farty stick. I nearly propelled myself off the loo with one I prepared earlier - why have we all got the gasses then ? Change in air pressure ? It seems strange <dons conspiracy theory cap and looks pensive>
Anyway.....all was fine with the midwifey on Monday. Blood pressure was normal (on the low side of normal but normal, nonetheless) and the nipper's heartbeat was absolutely fine. I felt a bit miffed though because she asked me if I was feeling the baby yet, I pointed to an area just below my rib cage as there has been definite movement there, and she looked at me like I was a simpleton and said that my baby was nowhere near there. So I felt like a proper dick and concluded that I must have been stroking my small intestine, thinking it was the nipper's head or tiny feet or something. Anyway, since then, my body has undergone the most amazing change. It's so weird. I have got much bigger and the baby is definitely moving about EXACTLY WHERE I FECKING WELL SAID S/HE WAS MIDWIFEY MATRON PERSON and using my tummy as a trampoline at 4am in the morning. So, ceara don't fear.....a change is right around the corner so just bide your time and enjoy the peace !
motor congrats on the scan. I am really pleased everything is ok.
crisps I got my six Lazy Daisy classes and the birthing class (or 'fuck about with a plastic baby class' as DP calls it) for a hundred of our great British pounds, which isn't bad at all. Not quite as good as bumblefuck nowhere but better than NCT prices near me. I hope I can meet some local normal people.....
dildals it's fantastic news about Bella. I am thrilled that she will be going home soon. I was sad to read of DH's struggles though and your meltdown. You two have been through so much so give yourself a bit of time to process it all and take all the help you think you need. We are all,routing for you on here and love tales from Bella's World.
mariana <grabs back hold of leg> can you give classes on babies and stuff please ? I think we would all be a bit lost on here without you
wipes tear from eye Trenchlet is SUPER cute by the way.
keep I had the squits and was worried about exactly the same thing as you. Try not to worry as it's probably nothing.
shazza sounds like maternity yoga is a bit of a fecking con ! See what the next class brings thoug as it may get a bit better.
Waves to everyone else preoccupied with birthing plans (erm, get it out in one piece please) prams, baby sleeping bags and all things newborn.
I am off to snuggle down to try and get some zzz's tonight before the nipper has a rave in my stomach and jumps up and down on my small intestine.
Noks xx who is still thrilled and feels incredibly lucky to be pregnant, despite looking like a Terry's Chocolate Orange on legs. Xx
Now then, has anyone seen my ankles ? They are currently lost in a sea of fatty tissue.....
Oh and thanks for all the thoughts on routines. I was initially attracted to GF but, for me, the routines gave you no real chance to get to know your baby so I think I'll have a look at the baby whisperer. I don't want to over analyse it all as I think in all the research, you may lose your instinct which is really important to develop for both you and your bubba.
Happy Friday everyone. X
Noks if you find your ankles can you see if mine are there too?? I am reluctant to go with books too as you need to see what works for you and the baby. I know friends who have got stressed as the books says do X, Y & Z and they haven't been able to follow it. I can not be doing with that sort of pressure in the early days. Like you say trust your instincts.
Mariana my SIL is a new teacher of year 1 kids, yesterday was her second day and 2 of the little ones fell asleep. She says she had been told not to wake them for 45 minutes and even then one was very difficult to wake. It is such a big step for them no wonder they are tired out. Hope DD has had a great week but I bet she is exhausted by home time today.
Crisps we were brave and got our buggy, car seats etc on the Bank Hols weekend but only with 10% discount. They are all still in the boxes in the garage as I haven't been brave enough to unpack them yet. I would say do it as 15% is a massive saving on the big stuff. I hope the tiredness is just a stage as some days I feel very tired and others not so bad. I do tire more easily and when I go into the office am much more tired in the evenings than if I have worked from home
slobbed around all day in my pjs
Motor great scan and results news, it is nerve wracking I think so glad you are through that bit. Onto the 20 weeks scan is it?
Gin your birth plan
or lack of sounds just like mine. We have got as far as champers waiting for us when we get home. I am thinking of any and all drugs they want to give me and just get them out any way you can and as quickly as possible. Do you think I can actually write that on my plan? I have my first growth scan on Monday so hope to see the consultant then and want to discuss birth options as I haven't discussed it with anyone yet and feel I should be having these discussions really.
Dildals any update on Bella and the expected homecoming?
Oh, girls, you have not experienced farting yet ... wait till AFTER birth and you have been put on a steady diet of lactulose ... Can I just add to the shit stories ... the first poo after birth ... Oh. My. God. Met by a mix of trepidation and excitement at the potential relief! Schedule in a fair few false alarms and a 25 min slot for the first one.
I slept thru my 6 am feeding session this morning. Oops.
Bella is still not really getting the hang of feeding. She doesn't seem able to get milk out. The lactation consultant tried to test her suck, by attaching a little tube to my nip, with the other end in a milk bottle, but by that time Madam was tired and asleep using my boob as a pillow. (We tried to wake her up, there are all sorts of 'annoy the baby' technique, but she just opens one eye at a crack and goes 'not happening mate') She suggested to express a little to get the let down going and then latch her on. I don't think it made a difference, I can't see any milk in her mouth or (double) chin. My boobs don't leak either, maybe my nipples are faulty? Of course I am starting to get upset about this, because nothing like SCBU to lose all fucking sense of perspective. So currently the mantra is going 'I can't get pregnant' 'I can't carry babies full term' and 'I can't feed my baby'. Don't worry about me having a good cry mariana, I get one of those in on a daily basis, pretty much every time the King's sign comes in sight, and when I wake up and realise it is still real what happened.
On the upside. Bella had her first bath yesterday! I thought I deserved a pick me up :-). It was hilarious. At first I washed her head, swaddled in a towel, she was trying to look behind her to see where this water came from, so funny. Then we got her naked and in the water, and with Smella Bella I was a bit worried she would immediately christen the water with her mustard sauce, but she didn't thank fuck (I am sure it will happen at one point - preferably when she's in the bath with DH). At first she cried a little, more because of the 'newness' of it, you could see her being a bit confused, what is this stuff, I have no hard surface! Then you could see the look on her face change to 'oh, I might actually like this', stretching out those long legs, then the third phase, 'oh yes, I DO like this!'. Then a bit of crying when I got her out, but it was just the transition. I should have kept her in a bit longer, that's the curse with SCBU, you just do what nurse tells you, rather than following your own instinct. Anyway. I am sure there's lots of baths to come. I washed her hair too. She's now fluffball. And she smells nice.
Can I just say ... I slept on my front the other day! :-)
Dildals so jealous of tummy sleeping. I sometime still try but the babies go mad and proper kick so I worry I must be hurting them with my enormous bulk
That must be a funny sight sweetie, you on your tummy! Mountain shaped?
I'll be back more later, but just giggling at the image.
Keep it is like sleeping on a beach ball but I still
stupidly give it a go in desperation that it might be comfy
Sleeping on your front. Mmmmm. That's like sleep porn at the moment.
I'm working from home
googling and writing my birth plan today.
The farting has slowed down today thankfully.
Buzzy and Crisps I'm sorry you are feeling rubbish again. It seems so unfair that some people unfortunately experience such extreme sickness during pregnancy. I can't imagine what it is like to be sick numerous times a day, every day. It must be awful.
Mariana i'm envious of you loving where you live. I swing from desperately wanting to leave London to worrying that I'm just being fickle and the reality is that I will take myself wherever I go and moving isn't going to solve the issues that I have sometimes.
Noks glad you are ok and me and Keep are not the only ones visiting Trumpton. Hurrah for feeling the Nipper. I love it. Even the digs in the foof. Ok, maybe those not so much but I'm enjoying feeling Shazlett. This is a special time because it is so intimate to have her inside my body. Once she is out, I will have to share her with everyone. I also feel so lucky and blessed to be pregnant. I'm lucky that I'm not suffering like Buzzy and Crisps and that I'm actually enjoying this time now. I fear that my ankles have gone on holiday with yours and Sweetie's. I hope that they are sunning themselves on a beach somewhere. totally agree re not losing instinct of looking after baby. I don't want to be looking at the clock thinking what should I do next and worrying why the baby is not doing what she 'should' be doing. Gina even tells the mother when to eat. I drew the line there.
Sweetie so cute about the children going to sleep at school. Do you think that we could apply the same rules to work? I also feel good that we have got the pushchair. Go for it Crisps. I've kept ours at my parents for the time being as we are still decorating and don't have room for the enormous box. I did get it out at their house though and played with it on a sheet outside so that I didn't get the wheels dirty!
Dildals The first poo after birth sounds like it could be even more painful than the birth. Do I need to write a plan for it?! DP was in the bathroom for a long time yesterday and I when I shouted through the door if he was still alive, he replied 'yes, I'm down breathing'! Down breathing is a hypno breathing technique for the 2nd stage of labour and they suggest that you practice on the loo as it is the nearest thing to expelling something large through a small hole .
Sorry Bella is struggling with feeding. Isn't it amazing how she is able to learn this though like any other life skill? I know that it is upsetting for you but is it also fascinating to observe her learning, practising and improving day by day? The bath sounds wonderful. What a lovely experience for you to have together. and that special baby smell is just too yummy isn't it? Hurrah for tummy sleeping. I'm getting to the stage where I simply can't get comfy. I can't stay on my left side all night. I just get too stiff. So I swap for an hour or 2 to my right side and then feel massively guilty that I'm hurting Shazlett because, like Sweetie's twins, she immediately starts kicking when I'm on that side. Something is obviously uncomfortable for her on that side.
I meant to say that in the Guardian magazine last Saturday there was an article about kiddy proofing your relationship. Somethings were worth thinking about I thought. he suggested always greeting your partner before the children. I can see how easy it would be to run home and hug and kiss the baby first even if your partner is holding the baby and how subtly that would send signals that your partner comes second. He makes the point that it is worth taking the time to invest in your relationship because ultimately that will make the children happier. I wouldn't buy the book but I thought that there were ideas about communication that I'm going to try to keep in mind.
Well, I'd better
get back to my birth plan do some actual work.
noks You made me laugh at loud, I got a few funny looks from colleagues but didn't feel it was something I should share with them, glad all was ok with your appointment, i'm sure your intestine doesn't mind the attention, you also used the word normal, not a word I would use to describe you let me know what you think of the baby whisperer, I just want a book with a general guide on what to expect
shazza the sickness is mainly manageable but there are days when I cannot function, starting to feel more desperate for my next scan
dildals at the first after birth poo, glad Bella has had her first bath and didn't poo in it, I'm sure she is saving that for her dad oh and your mantra sucks, you did get pregnant with some intervention, you do have the most beautiful baby, she was just super keen to meet you and she will learn to suck the life out of your boobs
my ankles look like puffa fish, some days I struggle to get my fat sausage feet into my lace up shoes for work. I don't really sleep on my front much, as long as I get to sleep
God yes, puffa feet canckles here too and also farting like a trooper. Attractive eh?
Will catch up properly later, but when looking for the article recommended by Shazz, came across this lovely one, which has just made me cry on the train! www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/aug/31/four-years-trying-for-baby-ivf
Happy Friday ladies! May your canckles have a good rest over the weekend!
Aw lovely story. But it doesn't convey the next months full of anxiety...
Dildals what you said about waking up and remembering everything that has happened really struck a chord with me. It's a fucking horrible realization every morning. Lots of love to you. What Buzzy said, but also if breast feeding doesn't work out then don't beat yourself up. What matters is feeding your baby. I think you'll be ok with bf though, you've already demonstrated perseverance in spades. I love your description of her first bath. Trenchlet loves her bath and she's so fluffy and utterly gorgeous afterwards. Look forward to the day you can bath her at home then snuggle up with her to feed her. It's very relaxing (I'm doing that right now.)
Ha at sleep porn. I sleep on my
flabby old stomach EVERY night. It's my main pleasure in life.
Aw at letting little ones sleep in school. I've seen quite a few crying or stropping this week and I've been very proud of mine.
Shazza haha at DP and his down breathing. I'll do your name consultation tonight. I'm starting to worry I just recommend the same names to you all. Don't compare notes! I'll look at that article later, I bet we do everything wrong.
The first poo is utterly appalling. Definitely clear half an hour and stock up on lactulose.
Sympathies on all the swollen ankles. They do come back!
We have done it...have reserved the buggy and are going to pick it p tomorrow morning...we are saving about £280 off the 'normal' price and just can't afford not to. Fuck it and do it is (ish) the new crisps household motto...
Re:birth plans....hmm. I think pain relief is more to do with the speed of birth than the pain..lit is a hugely strong sensation but not like a normal kind of pain. If I'd had a quick labour, I probably could have done without the epidural but I found it exhausting after a few hours. Having said that, it was only nine hours from going in to hosp which is relatively quick! The only thing on mine is nothing which could harm the bambinos...I.e. pethidine. I'll have to ave an epidural this time because of the twin age but I probably would have chosen one anyway if needed as having one last time gave me the strength and stamina to relax, push and really enjoy the experience. Am completely down with each to their own but having done it once means I do think everyone should keep an open mind...
Birth plans for post-birth poos though are a different matter. I would recommend a wet flannel (any scratches or little nicks and cuts are more painful than labour if they are in your downstairs region and get any wee on them) and a good half an hour...you do feel as though the world is going to fall out of your arse if you have a poo and it takes a while to build up the confidence!
As its Friday I'll share my disgusting poo in the bath story. Dd did the standard poo while in bath with daddy, which DH quickly fished out, but at a much later date she had a lovely bath on her own with tons of bubbles. We got her out, dried her and pulled the plug. I then screamed the next morning when I went into the bathroom...we'd actually missed a massive poo in the bath which had disintegrated and soread itself all over the bottom of the bath and must have been disguised by all the bubbles. Yuck. Cue lots of scrubbing and bleach. Definitely less bubbles are used since then!
Glad it's the end of the week, school has been manic and I am shattered. Off for a kiddicare experience tomorrow morning and some catching up with friends. Will do personals tomorrow...x
Had to go to Birmingham and back today on the train for work - 5.5 hrs on the train. Christ am I hurting. Only a few more weeks now though!
motor great news about the low risk result! So happy that you are laughing these days!
crisps you are vomiting 4 x per day at 29 weeks? My god that is so terrible. My heart goes out to you! But that was quite the poo in the bath story! Must have been extremely cohesive bubbles!
mariana glad the first days at school have gone well. DS keeps exclaiming how fun school is which I think is genuine and not an attempt to win parental approval. Last year he fell asleep in class once and his teacher said it happens all the time with the little kids.
noks laughed at your midwife story. The baby moves around all the time and where you feel him or her depends on your position too, so I'm sure you're right.
dildals Bella is doing so well, I'm sure it will work or if not bottle feeding is just fine! Don't beat yourself up, you've just had bad luck in the baby front. It's understandable that DH would be "self-medicating" given what you've gone through. I'd be brooding over the hospital's role as well. I guess if he's back at work he's not so busy with Bella, a d having a bit of distance makes him more likely to ruminate on everything?
On a much more superficial note, I got a jogging stroller with DS, the out and about nipper and it was great. V smooth when I ran, light (7kgs) and manoeuvreable. DS used it until he was 4 comfortably and it is good to go for no 2. I started running w DS when he was about 6 wks not 6 months- he could lie virtually flat in it and his neck was pretty strong by then so I didn't worry. Also I wasn't breaking any land speed records at that stage (or since!) so I would recommend that one if you want something good all round but also can run or go hiking with. The only thing is a v long wheelbase so narrow aisle in shops are a pain but that's common to all jogging strollers.
I had my 34 wk appointment with the midwife this week. She said baby is in a good position, moving lower and the head is 3/5 engaged ( which I think means 2/5 is in my pelvis). I certainly have started feeling a lot of twinges and tightening a very low down and around the tops of my legs. By the late afternoon I feel as though I can barely walk with the pressure. I guess it's all good signs but it also reminds me how much I have to do before she arrives.
Hello to everyone else I've missed, I'm waving a cankle at you!
Hi fairy...you sound like you are getting ready! Do you have a birthing ball? I fund it really comfy in the last stages. Not sick four times every day, a, only sick about three or four days a week, and not always four times. Still sucks though!!
Oh yes Gin I'd forgotten about that article. That made me cry too. I even cried when I summarised it for DP later. See you tomorrow!
Mariana thanks for the names in advance. It will be so funny if we all meet up one day and we've all called our babies the same name. Especially if sweetie has the only boy and even he has the same name . I've already got my bumper bottle of lactulose crossed off my list. We got it for DN on holiday the pharmacist said it would be ok but in the end we put prune juice disguised in her porridge and kept giving her fruit pouches til nature took its course. So I'm keeping the enormous bottle all for myself. I will look forward to cracking it open. Nevermind the champers. That will be my celebratory bottle!
Crisps. Hurrah for fuck it and do it. And yippee for the pushchair. £280 is a massive saving. What did you plump for in the end? Hilarious poo in the bath story and not so hilarious account of post birth poo. Eek! I so feel for you when 4 days a week of bring sick is not too bad. Poor you.
Fairy. Head down! Yay you are on track. When is the pool being delivered? A day trip to Brum sounds pretty tiring. I hope you can rest up this weekend and DS is still encouraging DP to be your man servant.
NCT tomorrow morning then going to West Country to my parents and on to Oxford for the champagne opening of DPs show on Sunday. He was so sweet yesterday. He said he can't wait to introduce me to everyone on Sunday cause I look so lovely being pregnant and he is so proud <basks in the glow of im carrying his child love>
crisps glad it's not 4 times every day but 4 days a week still sounds pretty appalling to me! I was chatting with the wife if a friend of DH who is pg for the first time and she has had no sickness or fatigue at all (now 13 wks). I can't get over how pregnancy affects each woman so differently when the basic underlying process and result are all the same.
I do need to get a birthing ball, the midwife recommended it too.
On preg yoga classes, I found a good one that left me feeling I had at least stretched something but we had a guest instructor once who spent about 20 min getting us stretch our wrists and hands! I know I do get a bit stiff when at the keyboard all day but it didn't seem really the right physical focus.
That is a strange focus fairy. What could loose and limber wrists be useful for...?
shazza we cross posted- your DP sounds so sweet, hope the opening to his show goes well!
The birth pool people ring you when you are at 36 wks to arrange delivery, you then have it until 41 weeks or 3 days post birth, whichever comes sooner.
I had a bottle of prune juice in the hospital fridge post birth ... on top of the lactulose.
shazza it is fascinating to be part of her journey of learning how to nurse. On a rational level. On an emotional level I am happy to take her home feeding on cans of lager for all I care!
At the mo it is not even a question of breast OR bottle, it is simply her learning to nurse. She only had her second bottle ever yesterday. I do feel bad if I had to give her formula before she's term though.
Fuck the gods dildals you must have pooped through the eye of a needle with all that flowing through your system.
The post birth poop sounds EPIC. I do love a good number 2.
expat hope you and mini-al are doing well.
dildals super trooper Bella has been so strong and clever and done so amazingly in the last few weeks, and as she has a couple of weeks more growing and learning before the suggested going home date there's every reason to be confident you and she will get the feeding thing worked out one way or another, so as not to delay home time. I guess having a possible going home date is a mixed blessing because it diverts the mind from "one day at a time" and you start focussing on the so-near-yet-so-far end point instead? Her bath sounds a lovely and special "first" for you and her to have shared . I hope your Kiddicare shopping trip goes well today and you manage to get all you need ready for lovely Bella to come home to soon.
gin I saw that article last weekend too and also got a bit teary. I shared it with my husband who was very chuffed to see something written on infertility and ivf from the partner's perspective. The focus is so often just on the woman because we are the ones having the tests and treatments. There was also a column in the Guardian magazine that day purportedly written by someone conceived through ivf, expressing their worries about what that might mean for them medically in the future, and also concerns about the overprotective parenting they'd experienced growing up, because of being such a longed for child. Scary stuff!
Mariana and crisps, glad you have both made it through the first week of the new term.
fairy sorry to read of the train journey from hell, but good news the baby seems to be getting ready. My physio friend says birthing balls are great, too, by the way.
shazz the antenatal yoga does sound disappointing. I'm sure the exercise you've been doing at home is just as beneficial for you and shazlett, and way cheaper. You miss out on meeting other pregnant people but you'll get that from NCT anyway.
buzz and crisps, so sorry you are still sicky, it sounds miserable and completely unfair. As one of the jammy cows who was physically sick a grand total of twice in 4 months and otherwise experienced no worse than mild evening nausea and retching, I can't imagine what it's like having never-ending sickness but it must be grinding you down a bit.
motor yaay to reassuring numbers from the combined test. Hope you are breathing a bit easier now. Glad all was OK with you and the nipper rascal, too, noks. Phew!
I had my 20 week scan yesterday. All good as far as could be seen but I have spawned an unco-operative and stubborn child, so the sonographer could not get all the necessary views and measurements in the allotted time slot and I have to return at a later date for another look. So I am pleased and proud of my child for having secured us a bonus extra scan, but equally it is a strange anticlimax not to know yet if everything is as it should be.
The baby decided for us that we weren't finding out the sex yesterday
awkward little bugger. So another unknown, at least for now. The midwife thinks the heartbeat sounds distinctly female, though, so perhaps the Chinese gender predictor has got it right for once?!
I have the slight beginnings of a bump as opposed to just looking fat, and I THINK I have been feeling little pops for a few days that might be the baby rather than my dinner answering back.
Hi to everyone else, enjoy the weekend.
noks If you like a good nr 2 you are going to LOVE have children. The poo adventures just don't stop! She farted on me while my finger was dangerously close to her little poo exit (applying bum cream). Baby farts while feeding, farting when upset, farting whenever really. Pooing when you've just shoved a clean nappy under her bum. Poo spray over the incubator. You name it, babies have it in store for you.
We had a feeding break thru today. It's called nipple shield. I think I have fallen in love with a small piece of latex. The part God forgot to put on a woman.
DH vetoed going to Kiddicare today. He was getting IKEA type anxiety attacks. I might go next week with my mum, which might be a bit on the late side. Oh well.
Yaay to the breastfeeding breakthrough dildals
Sorry in advance for unattractive whingeing over something unimportant in the big scheme of things, but I have just had a reality check that emotionally, all my instincts and kneejerk responses of 3 years of infertility are fully operational despite being 4.5 months pregnant. My SIL announced today that she is expecting a baby 2 months after us. She is an instadiffer (3 months TTC and bingo - and yes, my brain was doing that maths before she'd even finished speaking). I am now beating myself up for finding pregnancy announcements as tough as ever, and generally being a mean and unworthy person not to have been able just to feel immediate and uncomplicated joy for them, untainted by self-pitying thoughts about why the fates dished out 3 years of hell to us, that only others who've been there truly "get". (SIL's understanding of IVF: "if you can't get pregnant the doctors just make it happen these days"; MIL's take on our infertility: "now your body's been shown how to get pregnant you hopefully won't need IVF next time". Bless their well meaning naive little hearts.) Please someone tell me that at some point in the future it gets better and I will be "normal" again and my hideous self-pitying jealous evil twin will bugger off?!
On the positive side, my second thought on hearing the news was that another new grandchild to coo over will nicely deflect the in-laws' attention and we will hopefully get
a bit less interference some peace and quiet! Which while equally unworthy a thought, is probably a normal one :-)
Ah ceara bless you...with one dd and two on the way I still get pissed off at instadiffers. Don't worry! It's a bloody long road and not one that is easily forgotten. It does get easier when you have one though....when yu have been up all night with a baby that took seven years to make, at least we have a little more perspective, while instadiffers tend to be a bit more shocked.
noks glad all that was seen was well...I felt a huge anticlimax after my first 20wk scan as they didn't finish measurements and couldn't determine gender...but after the second one a week after I felt so positive. We have even actually bought stuff and chosen names now, really hope your next scan makes you feel the same. I do think ivf/IUI/long awaited babies have more spirit anyway, it's like they know how hard it was to be conceived and so they like to make things awkward just to remind us that they are here! That def sounds like movement by the way, congratulations! Mine have got much stronger in the last few weeks.
dildals Bella seems to be growing up so fast! Your DH may have been right about kiddicare...we were there from 9-10 this morning and by 10 it was decidedly ikealike...couples having stroppy arguments and kids running wild! They still have 15% off till Monday evening though and we saved a small fortune. We got a little kiddicareied away...bought the buggy with two car seat adapters and rain cover, plus two,big car seats for dd which she needed anyway, plus some clothes for dd, plus some muslins which were really cheap, and then saw that they had swings really cheap (£30 instead of the usual £70) so took the plunge and bought two of those as well. Cost a fortune but I think because of buying sale items and the extra discount we saved £350 which is a hell of a lot of money. We did have a bit of a panic afterward that we had bought too much but they were great and said we can bring anything back until the end of January if it's unopened, and we wouldnt open it anyway. Miles better than mothercare was last time. What is a nipple shield? Am intrigued!
mariana your dd sounds ace...I bet she would run riot with my dd if we let them loose. Dd had a huge strop about me brushing her hair this morning which lasted 15 minutes of my life that I will never get back. I do like her independence of mind but it does make me late every day!
shazza that yoga sounded expensive and a bit rubbish. Are there any alternatives?
fairy excuse the stupid questions but a) could you technically just slob around in the pool watching tv for a few weeks until the arrival and b) is it heated? Quite fancy one myself if so! Did you see the water births on the midwives programme from NBC lately? Not an option for us but always look amazing. I wouldn't be brave enough for a home birth I don't think but have huge respect for those who do. Next door neighbour had a hb and we didn't hear a thing...and it must be lovely to be in your own huse afterwards. Are you excited? Oh and my birthing ball was an exercise ball from tesco, cost about a fiver I think...
dildals my DS had terrible wind when he was a newborn and I was amazed at how difficult eating and digesting is for little babies. The image you have of peaceful glugging and then snoozing with maybe a comedy smelly nappy in between just doesn't do the opera justice.
ceara I think I may be worse - I don't just still get jealous of instadiffers, I'm actually in a peculiar way pleased when I hear of someone else struggling to conceive. Total schadenfreude. Not something I am proud of at all! Your in laws simplistic attitude towards IVF would drive me crazy too.
Glad to hear the bump is coming along. I liked having one when it wasn't starting at my clavicle and ending at my knees.
I also saw the guardian column by the child conceived thru ivf and Maybe I was feeling defensive but I thought it was a bit exaggerated really, esp as to unknown future health risks. But I hope this baby doesn't feel like that when she's older., although it will be much more common by then.
crisps the water in the pool isn't heated so you'd have to keep refilling it if you wanted to use it more than once. Also I don't think I'd be able to keep DS out of it and he'd get water everywhere in our lounge, which is the only place it will fit.
It's not bravery that is enabling me to choose a home birth by any means. It's more that because things went badly with DS that I just want this time to be totally different. And there was a moment when I was in labour with DS when I went into my room and got on all fours in the dark alone and felt really strongly that I just wanted to stay there. However, DH and my mother then insisted I go to the MLU (understandably) and after that it all slowed down. So I have always wondered if I had followed my instinct then and stayed where I was DS would have been delivered a lot sooner and without the EMCS etc.
I am excited about it though, and the whole newborn thing. It's just with work still full on and DH losing his job I've been sidetracked a bit.
dildals you honestly had me in tears of laughter over your comment about Ikea, that will my DH next weekend glad things are going well with bella
ceara I have an evil twin too, a friend had her baby this week, I felt that it was totally unfair, I think its natural to feel like that even at this stage, so when yo go back for your scan you'll find out what you are having It can be exhausting trying to explain infertility and IVF, I was a bit at the comments
noks eloquent as always
my husband and I are a bit competitive in the farting department so I would expect nothing less from minibee
we have been cleaning the carpets today, I cannot believe how much crap we have in this place thankfully a lot of it will go into MIL's loft, we have discussed what we will do with rooms re baby room, I got a bit panicky as I was moving some stuff and thought maybe all this straining and lifting will pull my placenta away I can be quite a drama lama at times
ceara you are really not alone with those feelings. I'm hoping they fade over time but with two surviving children that I couldn't be more grateful for and no intention to have any more, I am still very twitchy about pregnancy announcements, unless the person has had losses or fertility problems, in which case I'm happy for them, but yes fairy slightly glad someone else has suffered. I'm not proud of this but it's the truth.
noks, there is nothing good about the post birth poo. I spent the whole time crying and expecting the stitches to rupture. That was even with a major addiction to lactulose. Fucking awful.
Kiddicare savings sound marvellous. Why have I never been there?
dildals are the nipple shields for your pain? I could not get on with them and had to go back to Trenchlet gnawing on my nipple. Which she still does. Hope Bella is getting better at it but just to say that Trenchlet has an (unexplained) poor latch and as such gets bad wind and feeds for hours sometimes, but she's still on her growth curve and exclusively bf at 21 weeks so you can muddle through.
I'm utterly exhausted so can't keep up properly tonight. Oh yes, I did check I wasn't recommending all the same names to those who let me have a nosey. I haven't so that's ok!
Again, I am snuggled in my polo mint pillow - I bloody love this thing. I have new Primani jimjams on and am listening to Classic FM on the radiogram. Ffs, I'll be thinking of what to make with powdered egg and shouting down for DP to knock-up a spam sandwich next. Silly old 1950's hag that I am.
ceara oh I could just give you a hug and tell you not to be so hard on yourself for feeling all of those things. Just because we are preggers, it doesn't mean that all those years of anxiety suddenly go away. They do not. They are just parked, whilst we transfer some of our angst onto worrying about this pregnancy and whether things are going to be ok. What we felt for such a longtime is never actually 'dealt with', if you know what I mean. It's just there. Under the surface. It can rear it's head at any time, sometimes when we expect it and sometimes when we don't. I think some of my frustration with myself for thinking bad, dark thoughts about instadiffers is a mixture of two things: they could never NEVER understand what I/we went through and as time went on, I couldn't make them understand what it was doing to me because i couldn't vocalise it clearly enough without getting myself upset. So, it was the thing that was never really spoken about (only to a select few) and if it was, I would be on edge, waiting for the inevitable crass and ill-judged comment to come marching my way. I really wish I could have held it together long enough to explain to people how infertility and the loss of a child can really affect everything you do. How it can affect your confidence and your ability to focus on other things in life, and most importantly, how pregnancy announcements can absolutely destroy you (the extent to which they do depends on the sensitivity with which they are handled, of course). I remember when my instadiffer SIL announced she was preggo. The baby was born a few months before we started IVF and my MIL's husband said that they (the SIL and BIL) knew how hard it was for me, having 'discussed' my situation. I was fucking livid. They had no idea how hard it was for for me (having never picked up the phone to ask how I was or even had a face to face conversation with me about it) and I was aghast at the thought that our problems had become dinner party conversation for others. So <rambles and realises that these thoughts and feelings are still all there > I reckon you just need to accept that's the way you feel and not give yourself a hard time about it. The other thing is that we know how precarious things are and so take nothing for granted. Instadiffers do, by their very nature, and so they have that infuriating confident swagger about them, which makes us all want to bash them in the face with a set of pans.
buzzzyfartpanspts have you decided on a nursery colour scheme yet ? I am having trouble getting DP to engage with all the practical stuff. Which is fucking annoying
crisps heehee you LAYZEE beeatch. 'Can I sit in a heated birthing pool for weeks on end eating sweets and reading Hello magazine ?'. I am still chuckling at your train of thought now, mainly because it is not dissimilar to my own.
dildals you inspired me to start looking a the world of breast feeding and tit accessories. Jeezus, Mary, mother of God it's a scary old world. I had to stop because my head hurt.
fairy are you next up then ? Ooohhhhh how exciting!
Oh, Boots apace a 3 for 2 offer on some baby stuff right now (including nappy disposal units, sterilisers and boob pumps). It may be worth a look for those of us who haven't got any of that stuff yet.....
Nighty night everyone. A big old wave to everyone else. I am sure shazza is wafting about a gallery in a state of preggo ecstasy right now .
Are we all agreed that we can send out mariana some sort of Roadshow ? Or do we NOT want to share her weirdo.