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I am 10wks pregnant. Scare me into stopping smoking please.

(76 Posts)
JumpingJacks Mon 08-Jul-13 14:46:01

I stopped when I found out I was pg with dd1 and gave up for 5yrs.

Stupidly started again last year and have found out I am pregnant with dc3. I have dropped to one or two fags a day but need to stop. Now.

Tell me the worst. Tell me what I am doing to this poor baby. Make me stop.

xmarksaspot Mon 08-Jul-13 14:50:13

Stopping smoking is the best thing you can do for your babies health

Call your practice nurse and get a stop smoking appt or the midwife team they all want you to stop and will help you

find a stop smoking buddy

Good luck take it one fag at a time

FobblyWoof Mon 08-Jul-13 14:57:02

What xmarks said. I found the stop smoke service really helpful

JuliaScurr Mon 08-Jul-13 15:01:33

will they give nrt to preg women?
if not, then cut down as much as poss. roll ups with 3 filters were a limitation method for me, til I stopped

JumpingJacks Mon 08-Jul-13 15:05:42

I went to the stop smoking just before I found out I was pregnant. I failed on the course so have to wait 6 months before I can get anymore help.

JumpingJacks Mon 08-Jul-13 15:06:22

The midwife didn't seem that interested tbh. She wrote it all down but didn't say anything about it.

MrsWildermac Mon 08-Jul-13 15:08:13

Putting aside what it does to your baby...have you looked into what it does to you?! Having worked in a respiratory dept and seen so many, many patients crippled by emphysema, not to mention lung cancer, I just don't understand why people do it - do you want to end up on oxygen and in a wheelchair, gasping for eachbreath?! Also...passive smoking, even if you think it's not having an impact on your kids, will be. My auntie had a post mortem when she passed away and cause of death was lung disease, she had never smoked in her life but her husband had, outside, and never in the house, and her lungs were as damaged as if she had been smoking 40 a day.

Sorry this all sounds brutal...but you said to scare you :-D! Google images of smokers lungs and then have a look at the charts that show you how quickly your health improves and I dare you not to be inspired!

CruCru Mon 08-Jul-13 15:39:52

It's such an ugly, common habit. People will think you are ghastly if you are out smoking while abviously pregnant.

Doogle2 Mon 08-Jul-13 15:48:34

Go to the specialist baby unit and see a baby that has a low birth weight and additional complications. If something went wrong that could be attributed to smoking you would never forgive yourself.
You clearly care about it as you have up before. Find that strength again.

Ps not normally this harsh but you did ask and if you were a friend of mine I would want what was best for you and your baby x

ilovemulberry Mon 08-Jul-13 15:53:08

I smoked before pregnancy but stopped straight away, I could never bring myself to have a cig no matter how much I want one.. the guilt of the poor baby inside wouldn't let me. My friends mum is a midwife and told me she can tell a smoker from the placenta, it should be a dark red colour, but a smokers will be black, disgusting. Just think that it what your baby gets all its nutrition from and you are polluting it for the sakes of a cig.

Plus i second what CruCru said, if I saw a pregnant women smoking I would instantly judge her parenting skills. My younger sister smoked throughout her pregnancy, and wanted to attend my graduation, The rule was that if she wanted to smoke there was no way she was doing it 1 - in front of my friends and 2. Anywhere near me.

Its only for 9 months, it's not that hard, once its out of your for three days i have heard you are no longer addicted its just the habit you miss!!

fanjobiscuits Mon 08-Jul-13 15:56:57

The majority of cot deaths are due to smoking. Is the riskmof killing your baby really worse than not smoking for some months? Ex smoker myself - find another habit to replace it with is my best tip.

soundevenfruity Mon 08-Jul-13 15:57:38

I think practically all primary care organisations used to offer free smoking cessation counseling which was specifically aimed at pregnant women. They have all the scary babies floating in brown murky stuff so are well qualified to scare you into stopping but also can address the underlying addiction. I would go through your GP as the counselors are probably attached to hospitals now as PCTs no longer exist.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Read the allen carr book to stop smoking if talks about the psycological reasons of smoking its really good.

HighJinx Mon 08-Jul-13 16:06:16

Would you even consider giving your DC a cigarette?

AWhistlingWoman Mon 08-Jul-13 16:08:55

I second Doogle's suggestion.

Mama1980 Mon 08-Jul-13 16:17:11

My son was born at 24 weeks following a massive placental abruption, I don't smoke but the guilt that my body had failed was crippling. Smoking increases the risk of placental abruption, low birth weight complications, lung and heart issues due to damaged placental function......just imagine how you would feel if heaven forbid something happened and you hadn't done all you could to protect your baby. I agree with the earlier poster go to nicu, I promise if you see tiny babies like my son fighting for their lives you just wouldn't risk it.

You did ask for harsh, I wouldn't normally be so blunt!

GrassShopper Mon 08-Jul-13 16:40:02

The next cigarette you smoke could be the one that tips some tiny chemical balance in your body and pregnancy, and puts it on an irreversible path to an abruption (or some other problem).

It might not need all the cigarettes you might smoke over the next few months to do that. It might only need one more - the next one - to push your body in that direction.

Even if you stop straight after the next one it could be too late. (After all if even nonsmokers can sometimes get these problems and smokers just get them more, in some people it might take hardly any smoke to do it.)

So if you catch yourself thinking "I know, I know, I ought to stop but since I'm definitely about to stop just one more first won't hurt" - point out to yourself that it could be the very next one that does the damage to you or the baby that you can never undo, so even if you stop straight afterwards it could be too late.

Think of the lovely fresh air you could be breathing in instead of that smoke for the next ten minutes. Make yourself a really nice drink, something you really like. Sit with it somewhere peaceful and enjoy breathing in fresh air. Think of that fresh air going into your body, like medicine, all clean and full of oxygen, making lovely strong red blood cells that are going to your baby to help them grow.

Queazy Mon 08-Jul-13 17:12:15

Fantastic advice already, but if you were to post this on the main pregnancy area you'd get even more responses. I think the motivation really needs to come from you. If only you could feel the kicks and see a scan from day 1 to keep you going, as it doesn't feel like a real little person early on. You're going to save loads of money, alongside all the obvious health benefits for you and your baby. I think the very fact you're seeking supports shows you're geared up for this! Loads of luck - let us know how you're doing xx

JumpingJacks Mon 08-Jul-13 17:32:08

Thank you all. I knew if I posted MN would kick me the arse.

I need all the harsh advice. The abruption thing is just terrifying, I didn't know about that.

LunaticFringe- Sorry for you loss and thank you for sharing that to help me.

Mama - I hope your son is ok now.

I will think of this thread and everything you've posted next time I'm desperate for a cigarette.

There really is no excuse.

So if you catch yourself thinking "I know, I know, I ought to stop but since I'm definitely about to stop just one more first won't hurt" - point out to yourself that it could be the very next one that does the damage to you or the baby that you can never undo, so even if you stop straight afterwards it could be too late.

This is what I do. I think this will be my last one. Or on Friday I will definitely stop.

Its not good enough.

Mama1980 Mon 08-Jul-13 17:38:03

Jumping, yes my son is doing great thanks, he is now over 6 months and so far no long term complications grin

My grandad gave up smoking 30 odd years ago, my mum wouldn't let him near me as a baby unless he did! But what helped him was eating an almond when he felt he needed a cigarette kind of a replacement strategy.
Best of luck to you.

TeamSouthfields Mon 08-Jul-13 17:49:25

Ur baby could die because u smoke

sydlexic Mon 08-Jul-13 17:56:39

If your baby is born prematurely then it could be the difference between life and death.

Indith Mon 08-Jul-13 18:07:57

when you smoke the baby gets less oxygen. when the baby gets less oxygen his growth is restricted. when growth is restricted his body prioritises the most important bits so the head and upper body with the important organs get more blood and the lower body gets less. this means the head is proportionally bigger so a growth restricted baby has a massive head and arms and titchy scrawny legs. you can spot a growth restricted baby a mile off.

have you quit yet?

Indith Mon 08-Jul-13 18:11:08

well done on wanting to quit by the way, that's the most important step smile

LaChaiseVerte Mon 08-Jul-13 18:11:26

Only because you asked :

Your babies kidneys can have significantly less renal tubules than those of a nonsmoker's baby. Permanently, for life they can have poor renal function.

The SIDS stats are terrifying, and implicate smoking in many, many cases. Your risk of SIDS decreases amazingly if you don't smoke. The stats are broken down into whether or not you smoked in pg or the baby is just exposed post birth, and again, it does mske a difference if you stop now.

The placnta of a smoker is grey/black, gritty and degrading at birth, compared to the red, fleshy healthy ones

Think also of your dc1 & 2 - you increase their risk of respiratory illness, ear infections & hearing problems.
Think also of you, smoking related illnesses are awful. Smoking resets your brain so that when ypu become unwell medics cannot necessarily give you the oxygen ypu will badly want.

Think of your wallet, fags are so expensive. You could have that money towards a longer mat lwave, nice mat clothes, a nice baby bag etc.

It is so hard to give up because it is an addiction. Seek help & support. Good luck.

Imagine looking at your child in the face and explaining to them that you are going to die, of lung cancer....

How appealing does that cigarette seem now?

rob99 Mon 08-Jul-13 18:23:05

Do you want it in a nutshell minus the flowers?

STOP SMOKING YOU BLOODY SELFISH IDIOT !

elQuintoConyo Mon 08-Jul-13 19:54:11

STOP SMOKING YOU OUTRAGEOUSLY STUPID BINT!!

Is that kick up the arse enough? grin

**I am sure you are lovely, obviously you want to stop and are looking for advice. Good luck OP, and congratulations on dc2 thanks

syl1985 Mon 08-Jul-13 23:02:02

Very good that you are stopping.

Normally I'd be a LOT more supportive. But you asked us to tell you the worst.

The first thing I can think of is loosing your baby.
For me and I think most parents that's your worst nightmare.

As a smoker you've got more changes on complications and when the baby is born there's more chance on sids (Sudden infant death syndrome)

Imagine that your baby hasn't come for his milk at night. In the morning you wake up. Thinking he went threw the night for the first time. Only to find out that he's gone.

On that moment you'll never forgive yourself that you didn't stop smoking on this moment.

I'm a none smoker and I haven't smoked in my life. But I know that at the beginning it's really hard to give up.
Know that you'll feel sooo much better when you've stopped.

Think about the money that you'll save!!!
Use that money only for fun stuff. Normally you'd spent it on smoking. Bad for your health and the health of the people around you. Not to forget at this moment it's terrible for that little wonder in your belly.

You dropped to one or 2 a day. How much did you do before that? Smoking is terrible expensive.
You can do so much other fun stuff with that money.

Then instead of only beating yourself up every time you've had a smoke. You'll reward yourself every time you didn't had a smoke.

I went online and found this article about the cost of smoking.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5360926.stm

There's more then just the cost of the cigarettes. As you can read in that article.

An average a smoker (20 a day) spends 2500.- pound a year on smoking.
That's in a week:
2500 pound / 52 weeks = 48.- pound a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What can you do with that money every week?
- shopping
- going to a theme park with the family
- going to a restaurant
- safe it for a holiday. Last minutes weekends are usually not that expensive. You could have a (simple) short holiday with the family EVERY MONTH!!!!

Aside from the extra health bonus you're also saving a LOT of money that you can spend on anything that you'd like.

Take care,
Sylvia

syl1985 Mon 08-Jul-13 23:06:41

I didn't thought about that one worsestershiresauce. It's a very good argument.

It's not only your child's health, it's also yours.

Imagine being told that you're going to die, because of your addiction. That you can't see your children grow up.

Imagine how you'd feel and how terrible that must be for your children.
What a terrible childhood would that be for them.

I stopped smoking in early pregnancy with DS,
I did it not just for his health but I kept thinking "My baby needs his mum in his life for as long as possible, I want to see him grow into a man and know that I've done everything possible to keep myself healthy"

You can do it, good lucksmile

GTbaby Tue 09-Jul-13 00:47:47

Health visitor told me only SIDs cases he personally had come across had been with babies of smokers.

SweetHoneyBeeeeee Tue 09-Jul-13 01:00:35

I resent my mother for smoking while she was pregnant and all through my childhood, in rooms and cars with no open windows. Asthma is one of the reasons I missed out on my career of choice. Stop it, it won't just damage your health and your dc, it could damage your relationships <bitter emoticon> Sorry if that's harsh, you did ask though wink

SweetHoneyBeeeeee Tue 09-Jul-13 01:01:17

Good luck with giving up, I do know it's not as simple as I made out above.

froubylou Tue 09-Jul-13 06:38:18

I'm an ex smoker who is now pg. Because of the taboo around smoking when pg and because I am an ex smoker who found it difficult to quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant I'm going to assume your 1 or 2 a day is perhaps more. Perhaps 6 or 7? You don't have to admit it.

I have used the stop smoking service via the midwives. So hhave had lots of support and co2 monitoring. I saw the midwife yesterday and asked out of interest how long co2 (carbon monoxide) stays in our bodies. It takes 24 hours for the last fag to leave completely. In the immediate 40 mins after smoking the baby really, really struggles to get enough oxygen from your blood supply. So for 40 mins your baby is in distress which can be monitored via the fetal heart beat.

Imagine being a tiny baby and being restricted of oxygen.

Now imagine your baby is here and a friend or relative holding them. You nip to the loo and when you come back they are smoking a fag and blowing the smoke directly onto your newborns face. Imagine your rage. Imagine fag ash on your babies clothes and nicotine and tar on its skin.

Not nice huh?

Smoking whilst pg is worse than all that.

There is nothing you can do about the ones you have already had. But you can stop now.

You can use 16 hour patches whilst pg. And gum or inhalators. Ecigs are not recommended as they are unregulated.

Good luck and congratulations.

rallytog1 Tue 09-Jul-13 08:35:58

DH was born to a mum who smoked through pregnancy and his childhood. He has chronic asthma (the kind that's severe enough to kill you) and his mum spent the last 16 years of her life with a severe brain injury directly linked to an illness she suffered because of smoking. Her memory was so impaired she didn't even recognise her own son most of the time. She died 3 months before her grand daughter was born, through another illness connected to her smoking.

Don't put your family through the heartache that comes with smoking. It's great that you want to stop - good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

bunchofposy Tue 09-Jul-13 09:20:56

Hi there, congrats on your pregnancy and for deciding to give up smoking! I found the Alan Carr book really useful when I gave up. I also booked myself onto a course. It was costly, but to me it was worth every penny. It literally changed my life in a day. You're def doing the right thing. Good luck!

JuliaScurr Tue 09-Jul-13 09:58:12

see what you can get eg gum, patches etc and try them out - I used nasal spray (not when pg)
you can do it!
use any help you can get

x0gawjus0x Tue 09-Jul-13 12:29:06

You are increasing your risk of still birth imagen getting so excited to see your baby then finding out you have to give birth to a dead one. You are also increasing risk of cot death not the suprisw you hope for when you go and check your baby one morning! Hopefully that shocked you but i wish you best in stopping smoking i imagen it is very hard x

MortifiedAdams Tue 09-Jul-13 12:30:46

Stop putting your need for a fag over your babies need for a healthy start in life! Selfish!

JumpingJacks Tue 09-Jul-13 21:03:16

Right that's day one done. No fags at all.

I really appreciate all the advice, abuse and honesty. Its what I needed thanks smile

syl1985 Tue 09-Jul-13 22:03:44

Well done for not smoking today!!!!!!
Everyone understands that it's difficult to stop smoking.

Keep on going, it'll get easier!!!!!!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SweetHoneyBeeeeee Tue 09-Jul-13 22:29:17

Well done jumping! Keep it up grin

Shellywelly1973 Wed 10-Jul-13 00:06:09

I smoked for over 22 years. I stopped nearly 6 months ago. I was 8 weeks pregnant. I had a mmc at 12 weeks...

I dont know if smoking contributed to the miscarriage. I've smoked through 4 pregnancies. I would cut down but selfishly never totally gave up. I just couldn't face it.

After the miscarriage it would have been so easy to start smoking again but i realised that my baby, the little baby who's heart only beat for 2 weeks, that tiny little baby that lay sleeping in me for 4 weeks, made me do something no one else ever had. Her lasting legacy will be that she made me stop smoking.

You cant get this time back... Stop smoking today!

MmeLindor Wed 10-Jul-13 00:14:04

Well done, Jumping.

Stop not just for your child, but for yourself.

My dad has never been able to, even though he has COPD and asthma, and sometimes struggles to breathe.

Even though his elder brother was on oxygen for the last years of his life, due to COPD, and finally died of lung cancer.

Even though we have begged him, emotionally blackmailed him, nagged him. Even though, he knows that he may miss some of the precious years with his grandchildren.

Do it for yourself, and for your family. For the grandchildren who want to know you in many many many years.

HotSoupDumpling Wed 10-Jul-13 15:35:09

Well done!! You can do it. You really can.

Futterby Wed 10-Jul-13 15:40:28

Been lurking, huge well done jumping! I understand how difficult it is, I was on 20 a day when I got my (surprise) bfp and quitting cold turkey is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Seriously well done smile

Mama1980 Wed 10-Jul-13 15:41:31

Well done jumping. Am still here cheering you on for as long as you want. You can do this! grin

JumpingJacks Wed 10-Jul-13 17:15:39

I still haven't had one. Almost two days now.

I am craving, esp after meals and first thing in the morning

Trying not to pick at foods when I crave but not doing so well at that bit!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BelleEtLaBaby Thu 11-Jul-13 00:45:18

Well done for stopping!

A friend of mine has twins - hard won, IVF twins. She cut right down to one or maybe two little rollups a day but somehow could never completely stop.

The twins were born 8 weeks early and spent 9 weeks in SCBU and NICU. Both are now four and both have asthma. They both get chest infections and bronchitis regularly and have spent two out of four Christmases in hospital.

She hasn't smoked a cigarette since the day they were born.

She was told that it wasn't her fault, that twins often come early, that asthma can be caused by lots of things including preemie birth. She told me once that no matter how many people tell her that, she will never, really know that she didn't do that to her babies, for the sake of a couple of cigs a day. The guilt really gets to her, even now, even years later. She won't let anyone persuade her it wasn't her fault - and he says that will never go away fully. Every single time she has to give one an inhaler, or a nebuliser, or sit in hospital with them.

You are doing absolutely the best thing for your baby by stopping. You are giving him or her the love you will have when they're here now, while they are in your tummy, and every time you don't have a cigarette, you are giving yourself and them a gift, and you are loving him or her a little more. Well done to you - stopping smoking is the first selfless act of love you can do for your new baby smile

Indith Thu 11-Jul-13 07:11:07

well done smile

Mama1980 Thu 11-Jul-13 08:38:39

Well done! Maybe try carrot sticks or little gummy bears to hand? You're dong great, keep picturing the healthy red placenta forming that's feeding your baby everything it needs.

MmeLindor Thu 11-Jul-13 09:37:38

Good for you, Jumping. Keep going!

xmarksaspot Thu 11-Jul-13 22:32:31

Well done keep going

JumpingJacks Fri 12-Jul-13 15:39:57

Still haven't had one.

Cravings have eased a little. Really feel as if I have stopped now. But I've been down this road before and started again so I mustn't get too over confident.

Futterby Fri 12-Jul-13 15:49:35

Fantastic Jumping!! Keep it up smile

rosyryan Fri 12-Jul-13 17:49:56

You are doing so well. Think how much better your little baby must be feeling already!

maybemyrtle Fri 12-Jul-13 19:05:07

Well done jumping! I promise you, it gets easier every day that passes. If you had one now you'd feel sick as a dog and right back at square one. Just keep going. smile flowers

MrsHY1 Fri 12-Jul-13 19:14:44

Well done Jumping! It will get easier, I promise x

Mama1980 Fri 12-Jul-13 19:16:54

Well done jumping! grin you can do this! Keep Going, Your baby will be so proud of you x

SweetHoneyBeeeeee Fri 12-Jul-13 19:35:13

Keep it up jumping!

JumpingJacks Fri 12-Jul-13 20:04:02

Think how much better your little baby must be feeling already!

I really hadn't thought about that, but just reread the thread to help me (struggling a bit atm) and this bit;

"In the immediate 40 mins after smoking the baby really, really struggles to get enough oxygen from your blood supply. So for 40 mins your baby is in distress which can be monitored via the fetal heart beat."

made me realise that even after 3 days the baby must be feeling better.

I honestly can't put into words how much you have helped me. Even dh couldn't achieve what you lot have! He is also over the moon obviously.

thanks

raqueluchi Sat 13-Jul-13 11:08:36

I`m loving following this thread.....love everyone´s supportive advice and more than anything, love that you, jumping are being so strong and trying your hardest at giving up!!!! Keep going and think of all the positive reasons there are for giving up...there is not one good reason for keeping on smoking other than your desire/need for a quick fag!! Little beanie will be so proud of you when he/she is older and learns that you gave up just for him/her!!

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chocomama1 Sat 13-Jul-13 11:11:13

Well done....

Indith Sun 14-Jul-13 09:53:46

Well done, stay strong!

Woohoo jumping well done you! Such an achievement - you are killing the nicotine craving demons off one by one. Soon they'll all be dead - they survive on nicotine! Think how strong you are being for your baby, and how much s/he will respect you for it.

And remember, if you get tempted: there's no such thing as 'just one'. You can do this - you've shown it already, so keep going and enjoy your sense of smell, extra money, health, and soon, your gorgeous smoke-free baby!

JumpingJacks Sun 14-Jul-13 20:21:02

Well that's the weekend almost done, saw two friends at a BBQ who are smokers and didn't cave.

That was quite tough but a lot easier when I just thought about the baby and even found myself standing there imagining a red placenta instead of a black tarry one.

Although that did get wondering if I have damaged the placenta already?

HotSoupDumpling Sun 14-Jul-13 20:56:09

I don't know the answer to your question (but I suspect it will be fine especially if you continue not to smoke).

I just wanted to say - really really well done.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrassShopper Mon 15-Jul-13 09:55:37

Well done, I'm so glad to see how well you're doing!

JumpingJacks Tue 16-Jul-13 19:41:35

Had my scan today, made me so very happy I have given up.

I felt guilty for what I have been doing to the poor little thing as I was looking at the screen. Cant imagine how awful it would have been if I was still smoking.

Was able to tell the midwife taking bloods that I had given up, which was another little boost.

FourGates Tue 16-Jul-13 19:45:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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