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Annoyed by peoples comments... Anyone else ever get annoyed?

(65 Posts)
NxYxC Wed 26-Jun-13 13:50:38

Long story short, when I had DD EVERYONE was 'It's a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy'. Clearly they were all wrong.

I am now pg with dc(?)2. Yet again 'its a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy'.

I swear, people can be so annoying! Anyone else it's 'oh it's a girl' but with me all I get is 'its a boy'.

Now don't get me wrong I will be happy whatever the baby is, but I just can't help feeling annoyed when people are adamant they 'know' what it will be. Especially when all people EVER say to me is 'its a boy'. The baby will be whatever it is! grr! lol

As much as I would love a son a part of me wants it to be a girl just to shut everyone up. I know it sounds petty, but it's so frustrating! lol.

rant over lol.

Kayls93 Wed 26-Jun-13 14:35:45

Annoying isn't it? Being pregnant seems to make you public property all of a sudden! My mum keeps commenting on the shape of my bump..."it's pointy today" " it's smaller today than last week" grrr shut up!!

Futterby Wed 26-Jun-13 15:03:23

"Do you know who the father is?" Yes. He's my fiance of four years, sitting in the waiting room you stupid cow.

"Was it planned?!" x200

"That sucks!" Don't think so.

"Are you getting rid of it then?" Of course, because I would be happily announcing my news if I was having a termination.

"So you're not going to uni then?" Yes, I am.

I'm 18 and the baby was unplanned. I'm going to uni in September and my age and my plans seem to give everyone the opinion that it's their right to comment on my situation.

HazleNutt Wed 26-Jun-13 15:07:05

How can anybody think it's appropriate to ask if you know who the father is? shock

So basically they are suggesting that you habitually sleep with several random strange men per day?

Gerty1002 Wed 26-Jun-13 15:13:49

Futterby I'm 25, engaged and the baby was planned... and I still get similar comments. People actually accuse me of lying when I say my baby is planned, as apparently because I'm not 30 and not yet married a planned pregnancy is a ridiculous notion. People also keep saying "are you sure there isn't two in there?". Well if another baby has managed to evade three scans I'll be bloody impressed! I'm not even that big! Rant, rant, rant smile

BeQuicksieorBeDead Wed 26-Jun-13 15:17:34

I have been asked if it was planned. I am 35. Been with dp for years and years.

I have been told with quite authority that it will be girl boy massive tiny * autistic* lively...
People are so rude. And yes, everyone thinks you are public property if you are pregnant.

Futterby Wed 26-Jun-13 15:18:42

I have no idea, I was totally shocked!

I've been with my partner since I was 14, engaged since I was 16 and he is the only person I've ever slept with and I still get asked if I know who the father is.

MolotovCocktail Wed 26-Jun-13 15:21:20

Well, it's not really relevant to a pregnancy thread, but I get sick of people telling me how tall my dd1 is.

Yes, she's tall. Well done for spotting that.

I love that she's tall; she's so elegant and graceful. But I do wish people would stop pointing it out!

Kayls93 Wed 26-Jun-13 15:33:06

Asking if you know who the father is is shocking!! It annoys me when complete strangers touch my bump, happens regularly!

Madratlady Wed 26-Jun-13 15:36:05

I've been asked a few times if it was planned, all of the people who have asked have then been surprised when I've said it was.

Goodness knows why. I may be fairly young but I've been married for 8 months to a man 9 years older than me and we've never made a secret of the fact that we want children although we didn't go round telling people we were ttc.

TakingTheStairs Wed 26-Jun-13 15:45:00

When people told me they were sure it was a boy/a girl I'd smile and say "well you've a 50/50 chance of being right" It's not outright rude but does make them think a little.

I had an a really tough time in my first trimester and a few people would say "oh that means it's a girl" as if it was fact rather that an old wives tale. I'm expecting a boy. hmm

Lydia161290 Wed 26-Jun-13 16:00:21

"Oh, your life will be over once he's born."

That is by far the most irritating comment I have ever received. How can anyone say their child being born is the end of the world?! Jesus.

roofio87 Wed 26-Jun-13 16:09:03

me and dp got engaged on my birthday then announced our pregnancy 3 days later, and at least one person said "oh that explains the engagement!" yes, that's the only reason my partner of 5 years proposed, I trapped him with a baby!! (who was verge much planned!)

Madratlady Wed 26-Jun-13 16:09:53

"You'll soon get rid of the rats when the baby is born"

Actually no, they are my pets and I love them. They are in a cage not scampering around the house so despite what people sen to think they will not be harmful to a baby. People also seem to assume that they are a funny quirk/phase which I will grow out of when I have a baby.

"What will you do about the cats when you have the baby?"

Well I'll have 2 cats...and a baby. What a silly question.

MrsWolowitz Wed 26-Jun-13 16:14:06

Try being pregnant with twins - then you'll experience a whole new aray of rude comments.

Yes, some people can be very rude but most people though are just trying to make conversation and getting snotty about it smacks of 'precious pregnant person'. Of course if they are being blatantly rude then get as snotty as you like! grin

I got a "was it planned" from my MIL. I was 33 and had been married for three years and known my DH for more than 20 years.

TakingTheStairs Wed 26-Jun-13 16:26:47

Oh yes, I've had "what will you do about the dog" too. I said we were getting a harness made so he can pull the pram.

My FIL, upon DH and I announcing our pregnancy said "Oh, we presumed you'd wait until you could afford a house before you had a baby" Eh excuse me? Our ground floor, no steps, two bedroom flat is more than adequate thank you. Sigh.

LabradorMama Wed 26-Jun-13 16:38:02

I got very annoyed yesterday at work when a supplier emailed my boss to ask if he would be outsourcing my role when I go on my 'extended holiday'. Had to write a very sniffy email back, which prompted my boss to ring me to see if I was alright! I've had hyperemesis and now got SPD, I'm in agony and that's before I've given birth. Squeezing a small human out of your vagina and attending to its every need 24/7 does not strike me as a holiday. I've certainly never seen it in the Thompsons brochure.

lockie1983 Wed 26-Jun-13 16:54:08

LabradorMama I HATE that ! Left work today for maternity leave & they've written "enjoy your year off!" Inside, like I'll be painting and reading books and going for long lunches ... Or maybe I'm just heavily pregnant and cranky smile

TakingTheStairs Wed 26-Jun-13 17:00:41

That is SO rude of them LabradorMama I would have been raging too.
As for your year off lockie.. the cheek! seriously how rude can people get ?! angry

BroodyAndMoody Wed 26-Jun-13 17:02:46

My favourite so far is 'just in the nick of time'

I am only 34 you dried up old hag (not on that account anymore....)

BeQuicksieorBeDead Wed 26-Jun-13 17:13:00

How can people be so rude?

Mind you, some of my replies give them a run for their money. Hormones! But I just dont think it is acceptable to tell someone they look massive, or that their life is as good as over when the baby arrives. Some people really enjoy sharing their own misery around!

shellandkai Wed 26-Jun-13 17:20:43

I had that with my ds and now I'm
Pregnant again I got people saying to me it's a boy again my dp's sister actually said that to
Me without even looking at my bump
Or knowing anything about my pregnancy needless to say we are having a girl this time so everyone was wrong although I knew from the start I was having a girl but it is annoying because I just wanted to scream at them and say shut up you know nothing grin

I don't get annoyed with the 'its a boy/girl' stuff or the comments on my bump as im proud of it but the 'is it planned' and 'why have you gone and done that' comments are just blatantly rude and im just shocked peoplw say things like that

twintrimum Wed 26-Jun-13 18:19:55

Me too. I agree with MrsW, having twins adds a whole world of 'oh, are there twins in your family?' meaning 'did you have IVF?' (no I didn't and none of their business - I did have other treatment and they don't need to know). Luckily there happen to be twins in the family too & that seems to deflect them.

MrsWolowitz Wed 26-Jun-13 18:26:19

twin I found the perfect answer to one classic question.

Rude/nosy bonk "Are they natural?"
Me "No, they're plasticine"

LittlePandaBear Wed 26-Jun-13 18:51:30

I have a 2yr old DD and am always being asked if I'm planning another child, which drives me mad. I am now nearly 8 weeks (so keeping it quiet for now) but had been trying for a while and think it's so rude of people to ask, like you can 'plan' a pregnancy and a child so exactly! Do they really want me to talk about my sex life/cycle?!

I imagine when I do announce it, people will say 'about time' or 'I've been expecting you to say that for a year now' etc

Lj8893 Wed 26-Jun-13 19:13:39

I get many comments from many people but one woman at work has made some right corkers.....

"Ooo i reckon your gonna have a big baby, at least 10lbs"

"I can't beleive you are going to find out what sex it is, you shouldn't find out because if you don't know it will make you push harder"

Everytime she says something about her kids....
"You'll learn this"

And the other day she was moaning about her 2 kids fighting and said "you'll learn this"
When I said we are only thinking on having the one child she said "oh right, so your not having a family then"

So are couples that never have any children not a family then?!

syl1985 Thu 27-Jun-13 00:07:24

Some people can be really rude to a pregnant lady.

It's very annoying. You'll also get the nice comments. But some can be really......................................

Especially with my first child I got asked A LOT if it was planned.
First of all that's none of anyone's business. If it was unplanned and I wanted to share that with you that I'd let you know about it.

I've always looked very young and I had people even staring at me. That was terrible. Not only during pregnancy, also when he was a baby and toddler.
Even now that I'm almost 28 years. If I go shopping without my kids I still need to show my id when needed.

Thankfully I don't get stared at anymore. But that was so horrible. Some people are to stupid to understand that some woman are just really lucky and looking very young.

As if age or someone's look is an indicator that the person would be a bad mother.

If you'd judge someone on the color of his skin or where he/she comes from. Then you're a racist.
If you judge a pregnant woman on her age or young look. Then that seems to be alright. No problem!!!

I even got judged by some health professionals. That was so painful!

I never forget my first scan. I was only a couple of weeks and I felt terrible sick and I had a lot of pain. They wanted to check if it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. My partner was also there and we were so nervous and hoping everything was ok.

I had the scan and everything was good.
What a relief. You couldn't really see a lot, because he was so small. (5 weeks pregnant)
I was looking at the picture, so happy that it was all alright.

That stupid woman from the scan. I don't know anymore why she said it. What had triggered her. But she said:
And all of the sudden you're pregnant.
On a tone and in a way clearly meaning that it was an accident.

I replayed in a very firm voice:
Well that didn't really went that quick. It took us 3 months to get pregnant. We had sex just about every night. We really worked hard for it and lost a couple of kilo's in the process of getting pregnant.

Her face! She was a bit shocked at my reaction

Shopping with my mum during my first pregnancy:
A shop assistant thought that my mum was the one who was pregnant. My mum:
She's the one who's pregnant, not my. This is just fat.

In another shop. This was a little shop with very nice fancy baby clothes, gifts and other stuff. That lady was so rude!!!
From beginning to the end totally unfriendly to me. Uninterested and gave me a clear vibe that she wanted me out of her shop.

I tried to be friendly to her and spoke about the pregnancy and my first scan. What a relief it was when we saw that everything was ok.
Her response:
Don't be too happy. You could still loose it.

That really was the last drop for me. I just turned around and left the shop. I never went back and although she had some really nice stuff. I never brought anything over there and told everyone I know how rude she was.

EggyM Thu 27-Jun-13 05:06:20

What an awful shop assistant Syl!

My MIL last week, on being told that I have gestational diabetes : 'oh you have to be careful it doesn't get too big because it might not c

EggyM Thu 27-Jun-13 05:08:50

Stupid iPhone.

So MIL last week - ' you have to be careful it doesn't get too big or it might not come out'... I kid you not.

Gerty1002 Thu 27-Jun-13 08:05:47

I also get: "I bet it's killing you not having a proper drink, I bet it's the first thing you do once he's born" ... like I'm some wino! Then when I reply with: "Well no actually, because I plan to breastfeed" I'm met with uncomfortable silence, or worse, "Really?! Why?"

Just because I'm fairly young people just assume I'll want to get my 'life back' ASAP, when actually I cant wait for family life and haven't lived the party lifestyle in years.

If there's any lesson I've learned during pregnancy it's not to judge a book by its cover!

Madratlady Thu 27-Jun-13 09:11:39

I've got all the judgyness to look forward to when I start to show and when baby is born. I'm 22 but look a few years younger.

I live in a village where most mums seem to be in their 30s though, I'm probably going to stand out by being young.

Madratlady Thu 27-Jun-13 09:12:58

Gerty I don't drink much and don't do the whole going out clubbing etc but I do miss wine a little but blush probably more because I can't have it than anything since I only had a couple of glasses every few weeks before I got pregnant.

Gerty1002 Thu 27-Jun-13 09:24:06

Madratlady I'm the same, I won't deny that I do fancy a glass of wine now and then but people act like a huge part of my life is missing. I did all my partying in my teens and early twenties and I chose to get pregnant, so it's not a massive deal to me. It doesn't help that I work in a pub so most of the people making these comments are big drinkers themselves smile

i've been on the receiveing end of the 'was it planned'. err none of your damn business!

i'm 34 and engaged with our wedding set for september next year and my mom wanted to know if we were bringing the wedding forward because of our 'accident'???!!! We planned this baby and luckily for us our plans worked and no I AM NOT BRINGING THE FLIPPING WEDDING FORWARD JUST SO YOU FEEL BETTER!

sorry about that - it just kind of slipped out grin

everythinghippie29 Thu 27-Jun-13 12:36:36

The 'life is over', 'ooh its going to be such a shock to you', 'you won't be able to do insert anything I currently enjoy anymore' all said with smug, patronising smiles drive me mental.

Yes! I'm vaguely aware that this massive life changing event will come with surprises, compromises and a whole lot of sleep deprivation but really, why do people seem to act like this will be the worst thing that could possibly happen?!

I've also had the 'what will you do about your cats' and 'you will soon get fed up of looking after cats when you have a baby'...

I can cope with the, 'look how big you are already' comments but I should imagine I will be sick of them too soon!

Christelle2207 Thu 27-Jun-13 14:13:50

I get "how's the bump today" which really pisses me off. What kind of a answer are they after? All I can think to say is "growing". The "was it planned" one is frequent and rude.

SandraClegane Thu 27-Jun-13 14:45:53

I have 2 DSs, so the most common, most annoying thing is "Oh, I hope you get your girl!" Or "I bet you are really hoping for a girl this time!" Or even, "Were you trying for a girl?"

Grrr! I hate this whole YOU MUST HAVE ONE OF EACH mentality, as if children were collector's items and you need a "matching set" in order for your life to be complete.
FWIW I've always wanted boys, I feel quite comfortable being a boys-only-mum, and really don't care what this one is (well slightly hoping for another boy, but it's not that important to me). I don't get why people are so hung up about the gender issue, like it's all that matters (how about a healthy baby?!).

PaulineFossil Thu 27-Jun-13 14:53:16

I get told on a daily basis how huge I am and how my baby's not going to reach full term to the extent that I now pretty much dread going out. I've also been asked if it's planned. I'm in my mid-thirties, been married 6 years and have a 2 and a half year old already.

MummyOfSunbeam Thu 27-Jun-13 15:03:14

Not pregnant now but I agree the random strangers telling you negative stories about how 'life will be over' is seriously stupid. I was a first time mum and heard so much negative crap - and it was all wrong! The last nine months with my 9 mth dd have been glowing happiness and I love mat leave so much I wish I wasn't going back to my previously-much-loved job! It's that awesome - so take that random bus strangers who kept accosting me in the third trimester /)

afrikat Thu 27-Jun-13 16:20:16

I have decided that if anyone tells me my 'life is over' I will say 'oh I am so sorry you don't like your children. I'm hoping to have a better experience'.

Yesterday I had my first unsolicited bump stroke and the woman doing the stroking then asked if I really should be having all those jalapeños on my salad as it could be bad for the baby. I just stood there speechless!

NinjaHaggisHunter Thu 27-Jun-13 16:20:41

Same as you OP, everybody who expressed an opinion said boy. I was happy just to be having a baby but I was very pleased to have a girl in the end! Also had lots of comments about bump size, totally irrelevant and quite rude!

effyzm Thu 27-Jun-13 16:42:18

People always assume that this is my first when I tell them I have son who is nearly 5 they look at me with pure shock. I'm not even young. Luckily no one has asked me if it was planned or if I know who the dad is. I think I would give them a silly answer. I'm now 37 weeks and always get 'you won't enjoy being pregnant in the heat' well we live in Britain and its clearly forgotten what a summer is. Also my DS was a September baby so I've done it before. I can wear summer clothes! Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean i wear a sack!

2Labradors Thu 27-Jun-13 19:22:56

Gerty I get the comments about drinking. My baby is due at the end of November and people comment how its good timing as I can get 'drunk over Christmas'. I will probably have a glass or 2 over the festive period but I will have a newborn baby, plus I intend to breast feed, so I really don't think I'm gonna be sh*t faced! I have never been much of a drinker anyhow, I prefer the food grin

It's pissing me off that people comment on how having a newborn is hard, doing it all again, ooh sleepless nights. It's like a daily comment in work from someone. I have 2 children already, but it seems I have no idea what I'm letting myself in for, but everyone else knows this special secret! I think I might still remember, especially as some colleagues children are older than me!!

Gerty1002 Thu 27-Jun-13 23:34:36

As this is my first people keep telling me I'm going to get a shock... as if I'm expecting a baby that giggles all day and sleeps all night.

I think most of the time people are just looking for something to say, but really, what's wrong with: 'I hope it all goes well' or: 'how lovely, enjoy parenthood' smile

EMJHS Thu 27-Jun-13 23:43:42

Hi, I'm really confused I don't no what else todo.
I'm late on my period by 2 weeks the last time I had unprotected sex was march I had a period in may and it was like a spotting and that lasted aday if anyone can help would be much appreciated I have do a test can back negative thanks

elQuintoConyo Thu 27-Jun-13 23:51:11

The world and its wife all thought I was carry a DD: we have a DS.
Belly patting didn't really bother me, surprisingly because I'm such an un-touchy-feely kind of person and have a big 'dance space' dirty dancing anyone? ahem

Most stuff was water off a duck's back I found, but I did end up avoiding a couple of favourite shops and caffs due to the 'haven't you had him yet?' when I quite obviously bloody hadn't! Gonads!

I am now, however, fending off the, 'when are you having another?' questions. I just answer with a jolly, 'we're not'. If they ask a further question then I get frosty. Or I answer that when medical science allows DH to conceive, then we will have another!

hardbeingme Fri 28-Jun-13 00:06:40

'you can't be pregnant you're not married!'
erm is apparently not compulsory, its not like the sperm ask to see marriage certificate...

with twins people were way more nosey, i quite enjoyed it i try to be evasive as possible to see how long it takes for people to just cave and demand to know if i had IVF

people loooking horrfied at the idea of twins and asking if i was mad - it not like i requested them is it? no one offered me a tick sheet of preferences before conception

also if i had a pound for every time someone used the phrase 'double trouble' or told me how huge i was during either of my pregnancies i could probably have paid my mortgage off by now!

twintrimum Fri 28-Jun-13 16:20:45

hard - yes 'double trouble' - it's so original isn't it?! We aren't married and luckily no one has mentioned it so far. I may be what kept us off the busybodies radar when we were ttc! I mainly get 'it'll be hard work' (really?!? I thought I would be out every night while they sleep through from day one) and even one 'it's a shame' (just didn't ask!).

MrsW - I'll remember that one!

Gerty1002 Fri 28-Jun-13 16:36:28

Well I had to come and share today's inappropriate question of the day... "are your boobs leaking yet?" ...from a middle aged bloke. Ffs.

ReikiMummy Fri 28-Jun-13 17:22:32

Sat in MaccyD's this lunchtime with my DP, (not a frequent event, but the hungries attacked as I was outside....) to sit eating ones chicken legend with the conversation going on behind us - across the width of the restaurant...

Couple 1 with Grandma and what looked to be something like a couple of days old baby (tinnnnyyy and wrinkly... i'd hope it wasn't hours old but it was very wrinkly and tiny and sooo cute...!)

Lady 2 with toddler and grandma....

Bearing in mind - across the restaurant..... Lady 2 shouts asks lady of couple 1.... "WAS IT A NATURAL BIRTH?"

I almost choked on my Legend!!! What the flip business is it of anyone elses??!!

luxemburgerli Sat 29-Jun-13 10:28:24

Some of these are corkers... I've had:

"Are you emotionally prepared to get really fat" from a colleague, and

"When you move house, what will you do with your child?"?? erm, take them with me? From FIL.

BeQuicksieorBeDead Sat 29-Jun-13 18:18:10

People are astounding.

I hope you are all feeling well and enjoying this special time! Ha ha!

Couple of comments I have had this week:
Pray that baby isn't a girl - followed by stories about a teenage daughter and how she has to have her face slapped.now and again! Nice!
Step mother told me the baby was going to be massive - right before my lovely meal arrived at the table. I polished off the lot and had pudding just to show her I didnt care, then cried most of the way home!
Apparently breast feeding is a stupid idea and I will soon give up on that. This was the general consensus of my workplace, despite me not having asked for opinions! One colleague commented that my plan to breast feed until six months was laughable and that I would be lucky to manage for a day! I thought this attitude died out in the seventies?!

Champagnebubble Sat 29-Jun-13 18:39:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plieadianpony Sat 29-Jun-13 22:31:38

I am still reeling from a very senior colleague (who i previously had massive respect for) asking me whether I was worried that my baby would be born with a learning disability and whether i think my service users (families with children with learning disabilities) 'were worried for me' because my child might ave a learning disability too!

WTF???

BeQuicksieorBeDead Sat 29-Jun-13 23:13:54

pony I am a teacher and have had a couple of comments about my unborn child probably being autistic. I find it completely mindblowing ... And disrespectful to all concerned! I mean, what do you say in response to that?! My friend who said it could see I was gobsmacked and said ' oh because you are good with autistic kids'. Hmm thats alright then, if it if going to enhance my cv!

Gerty1002 Sun 30-Jun-13 17:43:53

Got another great one today from the man who asked about my boobs leaking... "You know before when you used to bend down to put glasses away I used to have a peek and think you were quite sexy. Now you're pregnant, it's just not sexy."

Lost for words.

TakingTheStairs Sun 30-Jun-13 17:53:36

Gerty he sounds like a total creep. Yuk!

luxemburgerli Sun 30-Jun-13 18:20:44

Erm... good (???!!) I suppose, Gerty...

Futterby Sun 30-Jun-13 19:14:01

I've just had from DP's mother - "so you're just eating anything and everything now?" after she saw me eating some strawberries. It was closely followed by "you know it took me eleven years to get the baby weight off, and I wasn't even eating for two!" this was all said in a really patronizing way, like she was trying to make me feel bad for eating. Oh yeah, she never did actually lose the "baby weight".

ineedduckie Sun 30-Jun-13 20:11:45

I work in a veterinary hospital and we had a 6-week old kitten come into the office for cuddles. I was told very sternly by one of my colleagues "you can't go near her ineedduckie". I have a cat at home and you know it you stupid cow (the cow in question is a spinster who hates the idea of having kids and knows nothing about pregnancy btw...). What is it with ppl thinking cats are your/your baby's worst enemy?!

Gerty1002 Sun 30-Jun-13 21:02:24

Yes, I won't be crying myself to sleep that he won't be leering at me anymore. I'm well aware it's not sexy when I take 60 seconds and a fair bit of groaning to reach standing position again haha. Creepo.

Andanotherthing123 Sun 30-Jun-13 21:30:14

Here's my pet hate 'bet you're hoping for a girl now, after 2 boys'. It really makes me want to shout out 'no, I'm hoping for a healthy baby'. Particularly rankles as both my DS have additional needs, which puts something as trivial as gender into perspective.

Also, I find it so offensive that friends think having another baby makes me a mad woman. I really, really love my kids, they make my life wonderful, why wouldn't I want to add to that feeling with another baby?

I'm 20wks with my 1st. My DP mother says to me yesterday 'I think its a girl' my DP asks 'Why?' she replies 'bcus shes put all the weight on her arse' i say 'Thanks DPM!' then she goes 'but I could change my mind bcus i don't know how big your arse was to begin with'
I'm finding it hard enough at the moment bcus i'm at that stage were I look fat rather than pregnant & didn't need to hear a comment like that.

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