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Texts and phone calls begin!

(35 Posts)
cupcake78 Tue 25-Jun-13 20:55:18

Yes I've had my baby, not told anyone and hidden it up my top so I still look very pregnant! hmm

I'm not sure why people even do the phone calls and texts of are you still waiting, any signs, any twinges etc. My body shape was even openly discussed in the school playground today. Ooow you've changed shape during the day. I felt a bit violated and just wanted to go home fast.

Is it not obvious that baby will come and when it does it won't be hidden in a draw or cupboard so everyone can guess but it will be seen.

I get really pissed off with people discussing me, stating the obvious and thinking they have a right to know or have an opinion over when and how baby will be delivered.

Pil have called and dh refuses to answer the phone. I can't help thinking this is making it so much worse.

I'd be more worried if no one gave a toss tbh.......

ISeeSmallPeople Tue 25-Jun-13 20:57:21

Leave an answering machine message & set up an email bound back message, both saying 'No, we haven't had the baby yet'.

Then sit back & put your feet up and ignore.

Newmum0113 Tue 25-Jun-13 21:28:23

ISeeSmallPeople love the name and the post!!! Will have to adopt this in the future when we're due!

smile

happydazed Tue 25-Jun-13 23:30:57

I had family staying from abroad when my ds was born. they called twice a day at least reminding me if I didn't have it soon they would have to leave without seeing the baby and how expensive it was to change flights and was I sure nothing was happening. I unplugged the phone.

FruminousBandersnatch Wed 26-Jun-13 01:57:41

Send them all this.

happydazed that would've had me tearing out my hair! Like your unborn child knows or cares about the cost of flights.

PeriodMath Wed 26-Jun-13 02:00:33

People are just showing they care. Making conversation about something that's clearly important to you right now. Those who are ringing or texting just want you to know you're in their thoughts.

Would you rather no-one mentioned your pregnancy or enquiries after your well-being?

PeriodMath Wed 26-Jun-13 02:01:48

By the way, from your tone I would say the birth is imminent! grin

Twinklestarstwinklestars Wed 26-Jun-13 02:04:39

We don't see dp's mum at all but somehow she found out when I was induced last time and was ringing every 5 mins so hoping she doesn't find out next week when we go in for dc3. We've only told a couple if people (had to for dp's work/child care).

I'd just ignore the phone too.

angusandelspethsthistlewhistle Wed 26-Jun-13 02:07:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

okavango Wed 26-Jun-13 02:45:51

I have added two weeks onto the due date in order to minimise this. Not sure if it will work but all my mum friends were as fed up as you so I am following their advice! Am secretly asking myself how long we can keep the news from mil once the baby has arrived.....

cupcake78 Wed 26-Jun-13 03:15:54

Your right, if everyone ignored me I'd be very hmm. I know they are only doing it because they care and are very excited about a new baby. I'm just being grumpy because its nearly the end of a horrible pregnancy and the last few days are seriously dragging out.

I should have done the longer due date thing! I've been saying for weeks I'm sure baby isn't going to come without intervention. They've all been saying I'm wrong and they 'just have a feeling'. I wish baby would get some of that 'feeling'!

I haven't told any of them that all being well I'm going for a sweep tomorrow and hoping for induction by the weekend. The only 2 who know are my dsis who will be having ds.

LuisGarcia Wed 26-Jun-13 03:19:08

My sister is due any moment. I am frantically not pestering her at all and am letting her have some peace

Stepawayfromthesweeties Wed 26-Jun-13 05:25:22

I'm currently in my 20th hour in the induction suite & told everyone before I came in that my phone would be off and to contact DH for updates. My phone is on though (as I'd feel like my arm had been chopped off with it off) but has stopped the majority of people contacting me.
i went 14 days overdue (15 now) & every day had to plough through texts, emails, Facebook messages & phone calls.

It's lovely that people care but at this stage want to kill anyone that breathes near me never mind asks me how I'm doing!

I also temporarily deactivated Facebook last week as I was feeling swamped by everyone. The one that tipped me over the edge from a colleague was 'hurry up, why are we waiting'. Aaarrrrgghhhhh confused

cupcake78 Wed 26-Jun-13 06:38:04

Good luck on your induction. I hope it goes well for you.

Stepawayfromthesweeties Wed 26-Jun-13 07:30:44

Thank you, this is one stubborn baby & I must have a very very comfortable uterus smile

MissStrawberry Wed 26-Jun-13 07:36:36

I don't buy the you would be unhappy if no one was interested as really, grown adults - especially those who have been pregnant - should know what it is like to be asking someone when they clearly have not had the baby.

Idiots saying about changing flights and are you sure you haven't gone into labour. Yes, there are some people who labour and give birth without realising it has started (and I don't mean those who didn't know they were pregnant full stop until it started.)

peppinagiro Wed 26-Jun-13 07:37:23

Cupcake -I'm with you. The phone calls/fb messages/texts/emails are doing my nut. And in response to whoever asked 'would you rather they just didn't enquire after you?' - yes. Yes I bloody well would. I wish they'd all just leave me the hell alone. Especially the ones who cap it off with 'advice' to sleep lots/enjoy these last few days/make the most of it. Next time they're down with flu I'm going to send the same advice right back and see how that goes down smile

RaspberrySnowCone Wed 26-Jun-13 09:10:58

I haven't had a baby but looked at this at it and up on active threads as I'm afraid when my friend had her baby last week I was guilty of texting just to say hello but starting with a 'have you had it yet'. She responded though and she doesn't seem to hate me smile another friend about two weeks before due date put out a sort 'out of office' message to say that responding to everyone would be difficult but she would get a message out when baby was home safe and then another about two weeks after baby was born to say they would welcome visitors but by appointment. Think it worked really well as she still got loads of messages but didn't feel pressured to respond.

HazleNutt Wed 26-Jun-13 09:51:53

I'm 40+5 and I swear I will dropkick the next person who asks. What exactly do they expect to hear - oh yes, I forgot, I indeed have had the baby? hmm

Claricestarling4 Wed 26-Jun-13 10:03:09

OP I'm in the same boat as you and I couldn't agree more. I think the problem is that no matter how much you promise yourself you won't get stressed if you go overdue, once that date comes and goes you just can't help it. And once you start thinking 'Is my body going to let me down?' every time someone texts to ask it makes it even worse! I agree with the poster who said that anyone who's been pregnant themselves should know better, and yet somehow they don't seem to! It's maddening. Ignore ignore ignore!

Heart7 Wed 26-Jun-13 10:11:44

I'm here too hmm 40+8. Sick of the texts, I'm just not replying anymore. I'm fed up and starting to get antsy about induction and welfare of baby and don't need everyone coming out with same old cliches (curry, pineapple etc) day in day out. I'm also not feeling all that well, if people are ill you don't keep hassling them every day for an update! What part of I WILL LET YOU KNOW do you not understand?!

Disclaimer: I love my friends and familygrin

wispa31 Wed 26-Jun-13 10:33:33

ive still 10wks til due date but have already decided that first sign of anyone texting/ringing asking if ive had it i shall be turning my phone off. fuck that! i also dont want to be telling anyone once labour has started as there will be time enough once babys born for telling family and friends though i think dp may think otherwise to that.

Feelslikea1sttimer Wed 26-Jun-13 11:14:28

HazleNutt Your message made me laugh, I would love to see a 40+5 pregnant lady drop kick someone! smile

I hope all your babies come soon before anyone gets arrested (I am sure in 21 weeks, I will be feeling EXACTLY the same)

NxYxC Wed 26-Jun-13 14:09:42

I know how you feel with people and their opinions! lol my MONSTERIL IN FRONT OF EVERYONE said about my DD 'oh she just fell out didn't she' er, no, she didn't just 'fall out'. I had stitches for christ sake. Complete joke that woman is, SERIOUSLY. I was mortified! What a thing to say in front of a room full of people! Anyway, moving on before I get wound up by it all over again, lol.

I know how you feel!

NewChoos Wed 26-Jun-13 14:19:44

oh god full sympathy and I am already dreading the 'any name yet' texts.
I am also getting worked up about having to wait on family when they come and see baby and getting all the tea/coffee/cake supplies in - isn't is supposed to be the other way round?
Yep I am a grumpy cow at 37 weeks - I only wish I had a bit more vague re dates now!

gruber Wed 26-Jun-13 14:25:48

I took matters into my own hands. Every day over 40 weeks I put an update on Facebook every morning. Day 1, day 2 etc. basically variations of "still no baby". That way people didn't bug me but felt "in the loop". Saved a lot of hassle, no one asked!!

Thinkingof4 Wed 26-Jun-13 15:59:53

I've started getting the 'Any signs/twinges' type texts and comments and it's starting to get a bit annoying. I'm 39+1 but have gone overdue with my previous 3 so I've been quite explicit to everyone not to expect anything to happen for another 10 days or so!
At least the tennis is on to stop me getting fed up grin

wispa31 Wed 26-Jun-13 18:51:30

newchoos
adopt a stretch or starve policy once home with your baby. thats what i shall be doing and they wont be coming unless it suits me anyway, no turning up and hanging about all fucking day while im trying to get bf established.

NewChoos Wed 26-Jun-13 19:28:34

Stretch and starve? Sounds interesting...
My family are not one bit helpful, they come round my house 'for a break' Haven't seen either sister for weeks even though am 37 weeks and have a 2 year old to entertain. They will like 'playing' aunty though.

I am so moody - I might ban visiting!!

cupcake78 Wed 26-Jun-13 19:42:24

Have told my friends and family to not mention it if they want to talk to me because the waiting is driving me nuts as it is. Still getting them from dh's side. Only spoke to them last night at 9.30pm and asked them not to go on about it. Text at 10am from pil 'any news?' I sent one back saying 'nothing to tell you. We will tell you once baby is here!'

Sorry but seriously I can't help it angryangryangry.

didireallysaythat Wed 26-Jun-13 19:49:45

Ah ha ! The mistakes you make with your first.

Next time, you'll know why you're supposed to tell everyone you are due 3 weeks after your true due date.

Good luck !

grin

syl1985 Thu 27-Jun-13 00:20:36

A bit of attention is nice, but my family is the same. It's now my 4th pregnancy and when I get to the end and want to enjoy my last peaceful moments.... Everyone is calling, texting and e-mailing me.

Not that I'm not happy with the coming of the baby. But in those last days I try to get and enjoy my rest, because I know I won't get much of that in the next couple of months.

My family also wants to know the second the baby is born that he's born. I never understood that.
What are they thinking? Kids do grow up pretty fast. But relax. If he's a day or a week old. It's still a new born baby.

There's no need of coming to the hospital to see it when it's born. Just wait until I'm happy to have visitors in the hospital or at home. Not come to the hospital or ask me a million times if you could come over. Because for some silly reason you want to see the baby asap.

I often tell them:
You do know how a baby is getting born, right?

answer: Yes, I know.

My: Then you also understand that I just don't want to have any visitors at the moment.
I'm not feeling well. The baby needs all my attention. I'll let you know when you're welcome to and have a look at the baby.

wifey6 Thu 27-Jun-13 06:26:22

Can relate to this completely! Have a DS1 who is 3 soon & DS2 is due in 8 days. The FB messages, texts & daily phone calls are getting beyond a joke now!
Obviously I'm excited, but anxious too & don't want to feel 'pressurised' - if that makes sense?
I have 3 DSis and not one of them in this pregnancy has offered to help with my DS, despite me having quite a tough 6+ weeks of it. But watch them all come running for cuddles with the newborn confused

syl1985 Thu 27-Jun-13 13:45:40

@wifey

Same here. My last weeks of pregnancy have always been hard for me. But barely any of my family came to help me. They said they'd come and visit when the baby is born.
(they meant: preferably one minute after the baby is born)

I wasn't interested in having lot's of visitors just after birth. Everyone had to make an appointment. So I didn't end up with lot's of visitors during the day.

I was very clear about my wishes and still my mum and grandmother just came in when my brother and his wife and kids were there.

Thinking back at it, just makes me furious again!
What the hell are some people thinking!!!

Like I just have to accept that everyone thinks they have the right to come in whenever they feel like it. Regardless of my wishes.

My brother was even angry at me after the birth of my 1rst child. He wanted to be the first one to know that the baby was born. What we did was one text message and we send it to everyone at the same time.

He didn't like that.
Well at that moment I had other things on my mind then calling you to tell you the baby is born. Idiot!!!!

(friends were really nice and family on my partners side did help me when needed during those last weeks.)

I now live in England and not in Holland anymore. My mum wants to come over for a holiday when the baby is born.
Mum, that's not going to happen. First of all our relation is not one of the best and second I'll come in the next year on holiday with the kids to Belgium. You can come and visit us during our holiday.

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