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Things nobody tells you!

(78 Posts)
MrsLianeB Mon 17-Jun-13 14:14:38

I have struggled to dtd with oh not because I don't want to it appears my vagina is so swollen it hurts far too much!
I'm sure if they told people this happens during pregnancy there wouldn't be as many 'unwanted pregnancies' as what this country has as noone wants a swollen foof!

bingeddybongo Mon 17-Jun-13 14:16:13

A swollen foof or a werewolf belly!!

beth27123 Mon 17-Jun-13 14:31:40

I lost control of my bladder this morning through acid sick. Was so busy trying not to vomit in my hair my PFMs gave way. OH had a giggle though.

Nobody mentioned the nosebleeds, they're certainly not the worst symptom I've had but were perhaps the most unexpected.

pocopearl Mon 17-Jun-13 15:56:09

no one warns you about feeling like a beetle stuck on your back whenever you try to get up from a sneaky sofa nap

FoofFighter Mon 17-Jun-13 17:45:58

blush I have werewolf belly sad

that morning sickness can sometimes present as horrendous diarroehea instead for the first tri.

riskit4abiskit Mon 17-Jun-13 17:47:28

werewolf belly.... and pubes that are migrating down my thighs.... sigh, I'm werewolf all over

FoofFighter Mon 17-Jun-13 18:00:59

Skin tags, am smothered in them under my boobs.

Holly94 Mon 17-Jun-13 18:01:37

That in the first few weeks you constantly feel like you're about to come on your period. Those stabbing pains you get when you move/turn over too quickly. The stretching feelings in your groin area!

nutella81 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:40:11

Ooh yeah, skin tags is a good one. Also, lots of burping.

DianeDavies Mon 17-Jun-13 20:49:56

Ha ha ha. riskit4abiskit, that really made me 'laugh out loud'! I hear you!

The thing no-one told me... ordering 3 different subway sandwiches with baby-brain is an impossibility..... "May I have a 6" footlong please", "I mean a veggie pate with tuna" "No, I mean a honeyoat with footlong please", "No, I mean a 6" tuna with bread" "Oh forget it"

RJM17 Mon 17-Jun-13 21:06:57

I have turned into a werewolf!! It's ridiculous the punt if hair I am sprouting all over the place! And sex well that just hurts too much at the minute. And these are jut minor things compared to the backache and sore hips!! X

workingtitle Mon 17-Jun-13 21:22:48

I genuinely genuinely did not know my pubes would spread so much. They're on my bottom!!!

RJM17 Mon 17-Jun-13 21:29:39

Haha yep got that too!! Seriously I have hairs growing out my chin, stomach, legs, backside!! Where the hell do they come from and why do none if the baby books tell u about them x

Signet2012 Mon 17-Jun-13 21:32:31


I believe it's your bodies way of preparing you for birth.

When you have sat pushing for a hour, fingers gripped into the toilet seat, swearing and sweating then eventually pass a good 8lber.

Then the piles which follow.

JeanBodel Mon 17-Jun-13 21:35:26

Acne in new places.

Your feet swelling to a bigger size.

I haven't been pregnant for five years, yet I still have the acne and bigger feet. Good luck to all of you!

Annunziata Mon 17-Jun-13 21:37:41

The sweating!

Vaginal disfigurement after stitching. I look like I have a teeny teeny weenie. I had a shock with the mirror last week.

Please let no one know who I am in real life.

AnythingNotEverything Mon 17-Jun-13 21:40:38

Thank you ladies. I thought it was just me!

Fozziebearmum2b Mon 17-Jun-13 21:51:36

The beautiful excess WIND!

Followed by constipation.... :-(

The combination is a joy...

PleaseLetsGoToSleep Mon 17-Jun-13 21:53:55

That being pregnant is the easy part, it's what comes afterwards that is the real test!
But yy to increase in hairiness, and awful wind!

Gonnabmummy Mon 17-Jun-13 21:55:26

Sweating and spots! Third trimester has me covered in spots sad however my hair finally looks alive :/

FoofFighter Mon 17-Jun-13 21:56:08

Strawberry that reminded me of one i had forgotten - after my first baby I was left with one normal inner lip and one flappy long one angry

PseudoBadger Mon 17-Jun-13 21:58:35


bumpertobumper Mon 17-Jun-13 21:59:13

thrush! had it for the whole of my second pregnancy, couldn't get rid of it. Went away the day I gave birth.
And the flip side - my itchy flaky scalp cleared up for the whole pregnancy, and returned the day after birth.
Bodies/hormones are strange

Drhamsterstortoise Mon 17-Jun-13 22:00:27

Lightning crotch

LifeOfPee Mon 17-Jun-13 22:02:34

Vulval varicose veins.

That's right, I said VULVAL varicose veins.


The hair is beyond a joke df says i need a shave i do my hairyness goes once dc arrives tho thank god.

Nose bleeds turned up this time around, my nose always feels stuffed up and bleeds yuk now that one i had no clue about!

Also the yoni pain/swelling is a new one this time around. i'm sure it's swollen to twice it's size blush not much sex here it hurts too much. plus between the swelling and the hair spreading everywhere i just cba to groom - it takes far too long now and i like it a bit less jungley than it is now - i'm going to ask df to help me soon grin

Aetae Mon 17-Jun-13 22:06:23

Keratosis pilaris. All. Over. My. Back. angry

Bloating up like a balloon every time I look at a carb. That's fun.

Periodic bouts of extreme all over itchiness. Trying to discretely itch your suddenly enormous boobs in the office is so ladylike.

RJM17 Mon 17-Jun-13 22:17:22

Ah itchy boobs that's another great part of pregnancy!! X

beginnings Mon 17-Jun-13 22:23:09

LifeofPee I just have them on my legs and am dreading them moving upwards. You have my sympathy. Both my mum and a friend had them and they went away after the birth. Hope they do for you too.

Futterby Mon 17-Jun-13 22:30:59

The swelling in your hands. I feel like this.

Cavort Mon 17-Jun-13 22:35:40

Waking up for the whole of the third trimester several times a night for a wee in a puddle of your own drool.

workingtitle Mon 17-Jun-13 22:37:58

Lifeofpee what fresh hell is this? Vulval varicose veins? That's new to me. No doubt coming soon...

rockybalboa Mon 17-Jun-13 23:08:13

Boils. Urgh.

bowlingforsoup Mon 17-Jun-13 23:16:11

Getting stuck in the bath
Being in a bad mood for several hours a day
Crying for no reason at all

I'm 38+6. I better give birth soon angry

Nellysgirl Mon 17-Jun-13 23:27:08

I thought dribbling was just me... Is it common?
Mood swings too. I have had a few 'who have I become' moments.

beginnings Tue 18-Jun-13 07:40:22

Oh the dribbling. I had to bin a pillow after I had DD. gross. And no better this time.

Newmum0113 Tue 18-Jun-13 08:09:07

I'm only 22+5 and am now terrified of going any further !

So far I've had
Morning sickness
Dizzy spells
Hair where there was no hair before - chest blush sad
Sore and very itchy boobs
Leaky nipples

Does this mean there is more to come?!?! I thought I was doing ok but I don't think I want any more!!!

Help! shock

Fozziebearmum2b Tue 18-Jun-13 08:41:24

Not seen my lady garden for months! Assume its still there... And I'm only 25 wks..

Weird blotches on my face

Nose bleeds

Struggling to put trousers/socks on etc

Crying at adverts (which aren't even sad....)

Crying at anything with a baby in

Crying in the mamas and papas shop
At anything baby/mother related and having to leave!

(You get the idea...)

On a slightly different note:

Strangers feeling the need to run your belly

Looking even more unattractive whilst dancing

Finding yourself going 'eeeeoooogh' when you bend down or get up

Not being able to eat any of my favourite foods...

Not being able to sleep without a massive long weird pillow

With two pregnancies behind me, the one thing that is really strange and no one told me about is a bloody fluffy fringe that grows under your normal hairline. It's patchy and looks fooking awful!

LifeOfPee Tue 18-Jun-13 10:49:37

I have given birth. Two months ago. To be fair they've gone down, they're less bulgy for sure but in no way have they "disappeared soon after birth". angry

MrsBri Tue 18-Jun-13 10:51:38

The dribbling has crept up on me in recent weeks (I'm 39+5 now). It's so disgusting!

I'm hoping I'll finally be able to breathe properly once baby is here as I've had a bunged nose since conception :-/

And yes to no idea what my lady garden looks like. Hideous, I imagine!

BraveLilBear Tue 18-Jun-13 12:14:45

Being constantly damp in the downstairs department.

OH going off sex as soon as bump is noticeable.

Not being able to eat dinner off your lap after a certain point because you simply can't lean forward enough!

Piles for no reason, which lead to any farts sounding like a proper raspberry due to flappy bits shock

hahaha brilliant thread!

i def sympathise with the wind, the inability to lean forward and total disinterest in sex.

i'm also not liking how nobody has ever mentioned how uncomfortable maternity jeans can be! over the bump are too big and under the bump tend to cut me in half confused and i'm only 20 weeks!

pocopearl Tue 18-Jun-13 13:01:44

i thought the dribbling was just me, I had a nap on the sofa the other day at my mums house with her Chihuahua snuggled under my cheek. When we both woke up the poor dog was soaked. would have felt more guilty if it wasnt so funny

shellandkai Tue 18-Jun-13 13:19:14

That there is no actual glow people only say that to make you feel better,
that you get very spotty.
That you may suffer very bad heartburn and get it at least 6 times a day sad
That you will be exhausted like 90% of the time.
You will get very mad and just feel like punching someone just cuz they looked at you.
Your bladder goes weak and to be careful coughing/sneezing etc (this happened the 1st time with me yesterday never had it in my 1st pregnancy)
I could go on and on and on lolwink

MrsBri Tue 18-Jun-13 14:39:50

In fact, eating dinner generally is a nightmare as my bump means I'm so far from the table that I throw food down myself all the time. My DH thinks it's hilarious.

If you do DTD in late pregnancy, finding a suitable position is a challenge. It's a good job we've been together years as it has been the most hilarious sex EVER!

Another vote for skin tags here too. They've popped up in all sorts of places. :-/

And also another vote for lightning crotch...I think it's quite cruel to not mention such things to people who've never had a baby! They should be warned.

Also, HUGE brown nipples and mottled boobs. Not sure what's going on there.

toni1bump Tue 18-Jun-13 15:02:07

The fact that you turn into a total nymph.. And it begins to annoy OH!!!

Not to mention te awful constipation / spots.. Im 16 weeks and cant remember the last time i had a normal 'nice' bowel movement!
TMI? I dont caarrre it angers me :p

ByTheWishingWell Tue 18-Jun-13 15:40:33

Another vote for the werewolf syndrome blush

Also discovered that the tiny, barely noticeable birthmark under my boob is actually a third nipple, when it swelled and got darker with my 'regular' two. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one?!

hollyisalovelyname Tue 18-Jun-13 15:45:38

That you bleed for weeks after having the baby.

hollyisalovelyname Tue 18-Jun-13 15:47:21

Oh...and the constipation. Only had it anout 3 times in the pregnancy but giving birth was easier smile

BraveLilBear Tue 18-Jun-13 15:52:20

Holly to add to that - I never knew that you have to actually push out the placenta. Was very shock when my sister told me that (and she only knows from her mates who've had kids)!

MrsBri Tue 18-Jun-13 16:00:36

Wishing Well, I have a small birthmark under my left breast too which has also darkened and grown. It doesn't look like a nipple, but it has confused me! So, me and you then!

moominmaiden Tue 18-Jun-13 16:04:50

Feet that feel like they've been set on fire at 2am (I leave the bathwater in now, in case I need a cold soak in the small hours)

Pube migration

Simultaneous vomitting and incontinence blush

Oh, yeah, and this attractive look www.videovista.net/reviews/nov04/kenever3.jpg

Saku Tue 18-Jun-13 16:13:56

Piles even without constipation angry

Saku Tue 18-Jun-13 16:16:27

And ya your feet and nose become fat..

4athomeand1cooking Tue 18-Jun-13 16:54:19

No one told me about after pains. I thought they had missed a Twin.

Bunnylion Tue 18-Jun-13 17:17:46

There's a lot about pregnancy that isn't wonderful. But on a different note I would point out that not all of the problems described on this thread happen to everyone, so if you're 12 weeks pregnant please don't take from this thread that you're going to turn into a veiny werewolf who shits herself every day.

Besides some of the things already mentioned, no one told me about the kindness you receive from total strangers - my neighbour offering to mow the lawn, strangers loading my car with shopping, postman bringing in packages to my living room so I didn't have to carry them.

Also, people smiling at me in the street, being given free stuff in shops as a gift to 'wish [me] well with the baby' , stranger mothers in cafes getting excited for me, everyone offering me their seat or to queue jump.

As I said, it's not all roses I just sneezed and pissed myself but I've certainly been very surprised by the amount of stranger love that's flowed my way.

Newmum0113 Tue 18-Jun-13 17:23:17

Oh bunny I laughed for about 5 mins reading this and can't stop smiling!!

That is a very good point to make. I just hope they read far enough along to get that gem of advice!

Thank you!

gloti Tue 18-Jun-13 18:06:12

being so dry down there!

wispa31 Tue 18-Jun-13 18:12:19

this thread has made me lol! i concur with the constipated sitting on toilet for aaaages swearing and panting and sweating trying to poo for it then to be fucking rabbit droppings and not the mahoosive bowling ball that it feels like!!! wheres the satisfaction in that??
sneezed and pissed myself for first time today sad
dribbling has been noticeable last few weeks too and dont get me fucking started on the itchy nipples!! wtaf??? ive given up trying to be discreet about it in work now.

Gonnabmummy Tue 18-Jun-13 19:50:41

CRAMP!! Every flippin night when u stretch :'(

Ficidy Tue 18-Jun-13 22:09:29

I'm 32 weeks...
The ferocious leg cramps at night.
The fact that I have lost copious amounts of hair (thought this was only supposed to happen after the birth??!).
The horrendous heartburn. I get it anyway, but it's an extra special treat in pregnancy.
The fact that my boobs have started to sag already :-(
The mood swings and crying at the drop of a hat - seems to be worst in the 3rd Trimester. Sometimes fee like I have lost total control of my life (and this was a much-longed-for IVF pregnancy, so makes no sense really. Damn hormones!).
Agonising constipation. If it's anything like labour though, I know I'll cope.

On the plus side, I agree with Bunnylion... The kindness of strangers is very touching indeed and something I think I will miss once the baby is here.

Rockchick1984 Tue 18-Jun-13 22:29:02

What's lightning crotch??? visions of some sort of superhero cape down there

After having 4dc i can pretty much tell you the list is long lolgrin

Hairy bellybutton
Growing blonde hairs, like a moustache!!!
Loss of hair
Varicose vains vaginal & legs
Leg cramps
Aching pelvis
Peeing yourself if toilets are not within reach for a good few hours.
Very wet vagina early on in preg, dry as hell late in pregnancy.
Fatigue, so extreme i once nearly missed the school run.
Very early on, blocked sniffly nose
Swollen feet, swollen legs
Boobs feel so sore i want to kill dh when he touches them.
Labour: go to the hospital when you are ready, not when labour ward says, both my last 2 would have been born at home if i had listenedshock
Labour will hurt, i won't dress it down but the gas & air is wonderful.

After baby 1st week
Blood loss (lochea) that could sink the titantic, never mind scare the loc ness monster!
After baby no3 & 4 afterpains that feel almost as bad as labour
Boobs like rocks
Stinging vagina, peeing will hurt
Scared to poo for first time after labour incase another baby comes outwink
You will waddle like a duck the day you have had baby where your bits feel sore.
Sore achey legs, where you lifted them in labour
Pelvic floors almost anighlated until you exercise them properly.
Deflated jelly like belly!
Post partum 5m preggy looking belly
First nappy change, meconium poo almost like tar takes nearly half a pack of wipes to make it disappear.

But all the above is so worth it, i'm now pregnant with no5 and i'd do it all again to have my beautiful childrensmile
And the postives far outway the negativessmile

MrsBri Tue 18-Jun-13 22:40:58

Rockchick, lightning crotch is a sharp pain shooting up your fanjo when the baby is engaging. It hurts :-/

Oh lighting crutch, i remember that all to much!! Lighting it is

pocopearl Wed 19-Jun-13 09:25:24

lightening crotch i think not more like someone shoving a knife up. My God I was naive and though pregnancy would be all sunshine rainbows and fairy dust. Im still waiting... I have constipation with unsatisfying rabbit poops, have had morning sickness since 10 weeks, except once i hit around 30 weeks, every morning when Im sick I pee myself sad and at 36 weeks I have nipple pads in because my boobs leak for England. No one said anything about leaky boobs like this I was expecting maybe a dribble not bloody Niagara falls

FoofFighter Wed 19-Jun-13 09:28:29

LEG CRAMPS ladies get to boots and get some magnesium tablets! 100% RDA of it, plus that of calcium and Vit D in there - will take a week maybe to get your mag levels up to make a difference, but it does work. Also for restless legs syndrome.

shellandkai Thu 20-Jun-13 08:06:51

Something else that made me think about my ds 1st poo, I couldn't reach over to change his bum
So partner did it for me, when he did he opened the nappy my ds was pooing a very dark thick sticky poo while he was pooing I remember my partner looking horrified and saying to my ds "stop it you dirty boy, stop pooing" lol like my da would actually just magically stop because he said so lol still makes me laugh thinking of that to this day lol grin

feekerry Thu 20-Jun-13 08:22:51

Not just piles... Oh no... But INTERNAL piles

HazleNutt Thu 20-Jun-13 10:12:16

Anybody TTC or just found out about the pregnancy and reading this thread - what nobody tells you is that you might actually not get any of this, so don't panic. I'm due tomorrow and have, in fact, just sailed through without any morning sickness, pains, extra emotions, tiredness etc. Could happen to you as well!

TinyCC Thu 20-Jun-13 10:50:16

I'm so glad it's not just me sprouting hair everywhere. I'm like a bearded woman unless I use hair remover nearly daily.

wispa31 Thu 20-Jun-13 23:05:16

big yes to magnesium for restless legs!! havent had cramps just the resltless legs, only get it when i run out of magnesium and waiting for order to arrive. make sure its magnesium citrate, chelated minerals are better absorbed. also really good for helping you sleep. you can by it it powder form from myprotein.com, just add some to small amount of water and drink before bedtime. or holland and barretts sell the better you magnesium sprays, theres one for bedtime, spray it on then rub in.

LabradorMama Thu 20-Jun-13 23:43:48

WishingWell me too! I already knew it was a third nipple but no one told me it would get bigger, darker and more sensitive in pregnancy. I'm hoping I can use it as a spare for BF when the other two are knackered <grin>

MrsBri Fri 21-Jun-13 07:26:59

WishingWell and Labrador...I had a closer look at mine the other day and discovered to my horror that yes, it's a third (albeit tiny) nipple! Holy crap! :-/

The things you find out when you're pregnant!

Middy75 Fri 21-Jun-13 07:51:31

The syntometrine can give you a stinking headache and awful vomiting, the after pains can be horrific too!

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