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Most unhelpful unsolicited advice/comments while pregnant competition

(158 Posts)
fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 17:50:43

Went shopping today and am due in about a month. Only visited two places. Person behind first till decided to tell me how she could still remember the terrible pain of labour from 18 years ago. Person behind second till told me once I had the baby I would never go back to work. Riiiight.

Went out briefly at the weekend and some random posh-looking woman in the street shouted 'oh my God you're enormous'. Fortunately I don't have body issues but I can imagine some people would have gone home and sobbed.

Who else wants to play? What shall we have as a prize for the winner?

Dackyduddles Fri 14-Jun-13 17:54:18

I was told "gosh your fat this time round"

AhoyAhoy Fri 14-Jun-13 18:15:14

DM told me "you're showing from behind"

I asked what she meant- was my belly showing at the sides? (new to all this, was 18 wks at the time)

"no, your backside is expanding"

Thanks mom.

Said by my gran (who is not known for her diplomacy) oh it's better when you're big to start with, you don't show as much.....

I have a genuinely lovely work colleague who seems to have a knack of coming out with some real corkers that make everyone else shock grin

My boss and I were sat down in desk chairs, both pregnant, and my boss is trying to stretch out her aching back. My colleague walks in and says "Blimey, you look like a teenager in one of those, you know, special wheelchairs." shockshockshock

spondulix Fri 14-Jun-13 18:35:51

Last time round, my boss told me very seriously that he'd googled how to deliver a baby and he was confident that if I went into labour he would be ok, and where should it happen, in the conference room?

I told him thanks, but that if I went into labour at the office I would probably go to the hospital, a five minute walk from the office.

Futterby Fri 14-Jun-13 18:39:12

"Do you know who the father is?" (Of course, dipshit.)

"Are you getting rid of it?" (No.)

"So you're not going to university then?" (I am.)

jammiedonut Fri 14-Jun-13 18:45:58

Lots of gems, completely unsolicited and unhelpful
'have you tried ginger?' when returning from hospital after having been on a drip replacing fluids from acute morning sickness
'don't breast feed as you don't want ds to be obsessed with boobies'
'don't cuddle your baby you'll spoil him'
Any advice re baby rice/rusks/whiskey in bottle to help them sleep through the night
'don't have your mum with you at birth, dh will resent you forever' spoken by mil, over dinner followed by 'of course if dh wants ME there that wouldn't be a problem would it?!'
Are you sure it isn't twins? Surely you're too small . . . . . . Aaaaaargh!
One week left and I'm just about on the verge of murdering the next person to even LOOK at my belly!

FeelingHorse Fri 14-Jun-13 18:58:20

My teenage pupils came out with some classics recently....

"Do you know who the father is?"
"Was it planned?"
"How much bigger do you think you can get?"
"Are you grumpy because of those hormone things?"
"Why does you face look so bloated?"
"What will you DO whilst you're off?"

freemanbatch Fri 14-Jun-13 19:00:55

'you normally bloom during pregnancy what's happened this time' said by my mother yesterday.

I'm only 13 weeks so just out of the feeling like death stage and this time I'm single and looking after my other two so there is no sit down because I feel rubbish time BUT the worst thing about her saying it was I thought I looked really well and I've been feeling great and keeping up with everything and no one who doesn't know I'm pregnant has asked me if I'm ill or anything so it really upset me sad

fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 19:03:13

Ah.... I didn't think it was just me. Am considering competition prizes. How about pepper spray, to deal with the next annoying comment that comes the winner's way?

ReikiMummy Fri 14-Jun-13 19:10:03

OK so maybe its not such an icky comment.. its just one I'm a bit fed up with hearing every 2 hours from unknown people in the street. Just seems a bit personal really

"Do you know what you're having?"

Answers vary from

"Kittens at the moment...." (depending on stage of OMG I'm never going to be ready feelings...)
to
"Fish and chips.... Oh - you didn't mean for tea?"

We're having a baby... and surely thats enough for anyone?? It is for us!!

;)

fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 19:15:45

ReikMummy - I hate that one too, usually seem to get it from drunks. Also 'when are you due?'

KatieLily12 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:16:18

'The second trimester sex was amazing'

I was already very nauseas at this point. This didn't help

cupcake78 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:17:11

With ds1
A check out lady told me she was in labour for 17 monthsshock.
Lets just wait and make sure baby is healthy before we get too excited (2 weeks before birth).
Your body will never be the same again.
Don't worry about being tired we'll come over everyday and take baby away (in laws!angry). They did their very best to stuff up any attempt at breastfeeding as well!

With this one:
Oh it must be twins.
Maybe the scan missed one.
Don't worry about the weight gain once the baby is here you'll be that busy you won't have time to eat or sit down.
You must be due (with 6 weeks still to go).
Don't worry about labour ill be right there to help you (milangry)
Don't worry about being tired we'll come over and take the baby out (no you bloody wont!) guess who.
Bottle feeding is much more practical, you can go back to work in a matter of weeks, we'll have the baby, again guess who!

We're waiting to hear when things start (fils nightly phone calls just to check we haven't had baby and hid it in the sock drawsad)

We'll come over and do your garden for you next week/the week after (I'll be 39-40-41 weeks) so your not alone when you go into labour. (Arrgghhhhhh)

I think you get the point.

"You look ready to drop!"

I was 32 weeks at the time.

Frenelder Fri 14-Jun-13 19:22:05

I asked in the supermarket if the ricotta cheese was passterised to which the lady replied "it's suitable for vegeterians" hmmmmm not quite the same thing...different lines to topic but still very unhelpful

Daisy299 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:26:01

Someone ringing me on my work number: "So was it planned or an accident?"

Mum:
"So I'll have 6 grandsons and only one granddaughter? Oh well."
"You don't really like children anyway, do you?" (in front of a restaurant full of people)

Mother in law:
"Congratulations! Now do you promise me you won't don't do anything you shouldn't?"
"How does it feel having put on the weight again?"

The in-laws have also got the due date wrong every single time I've spoken to them.

HazleNutt Fri 14-Jun-13 19:30:17

"Should you be doing/eating that"??

Well, I am, therefore yes. Do you think I haven't realised I'm pregnant?

lemontwist Fri 14-Jun-13 19:36:40

I had 'was it planned' several times. Yes, very much so as a matter of fact but how rude anyway.
A colleague told me numerous times how her aunt had died in childbirth,seemingly in every conversation even vaguely baby related.
After someone said I looked a little tired another colleague said 'it only gets worse after they're born' then cackled gleefully for about 5 minutes.

Chickpea1983 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:38:45

When we told the neighbour she said 'oh, are you pleased?'. I am not good at hiding my feelings and tersely replied 'of course we are!'

TinkyPeet Fri 14-Jun-13 19:39:49

"Not much longer now..."

Not helpful ... FUCK OFF!!!!

fanjobiscuits Fri 14-Jun-13 19:40:02

OMG cupcake, that is quite a run! This thread is giving me further flashbacks. Female stranger at a party: wow your breasts look great, huge. Tell him to enjoy those while he can, there won't be much time for that afterwards

islingtongirl Fri 14-Jun-13 19:41:18

Don't eat lamb/watermelon/pineapple/drink soya milk or cold water

Don't leave the house for a month after baby is born

Don't wash your hair for a week after birth

Above all courtesy of MIL confused. No idea where she gets these things from....

Chickpea1983 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:42:19

HazleNutt, I ad the same at work the other day. As I said, not good at hiding my feelings and replied 'I don't give a fuck'. I actually do care massively but so fed up of being questioned like I am some imbecile licking dog crap on the pavement!

KnittedC Fri 14-Jun-13 19:49:30

Walking around knitting shop, browsing, one hand on bump giving baby an idle stroke as she kicked.

Shop assistant: "Ooh, you mustn't do that!"
Me: "Sorry?"
Shop assistant: "If you stroke your bump you'll have a spoiled baby"
Me (disinterestedly, while stroking bump more determinedly): "Oh I see..."

Silly mare confused

spondulix Fri 14-Jun-13 19:53:53

A check out lady told me she was in labour for 17 months

And I thought my labour was bad!

Lj8893 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:54:42

Our crazy old lady neighbour asked after the pregnancy the other day, and dp told her the 20 week scan was in a couple of days and we were really excited.

To which she responded:

"You shouldn't have those scan things, it will kill your baby"

spondulix Fri 14-Jun-13 19:59:07

Goodness, she doesn't beat around the bush does she? hmm

KatieLily12 Fri 14-Jun-13 20:15:57

KnittedC....

The comment I got was from a wool shop assistant who also said similar things.

Where were you....????

syl1985 Fri 14-Jun-13 20:27:49

So nice to see that I'm not the only person who has heard:

Do you know what it's? A boy again... Are you going to try again for a girl?
Your other children will be jealous once the baby is born.
Wauw, you'll have 4 children, you'll be very busy with them. (really? Do you think so? Like it's a bad thing to be busy all day with your kids)

There're also a lot of nice things that people say. But as a pregnant lady you hear so much silly stuff.
People somehow feel that they need to talk to a pregnant lady.

Thisisfreakingmeout Sat 15-Jun-13 08:55:19

MIL - you can't eat raspberries
Me - why?
MIL - you just can't (as if my life doesn't revolve around googling every food item on my fork!)
Me - I've checked, it's fine.

2 days later...
SIL - texted to say I can't eat raspberries
Me - yes I can
SIL - oh, mum told me to tell you.

Also "finally, you'll be the fat one."

Bit unnecessary?

Bodicea Sat 15-Jun-13 09:10:41

Am 18 weeks pregnant. Last week my Mother in law gave my husband "the expectant father" book for his birthday.
On the front was a post it note which said. "We got you this for Christmas but it didn't work out."
We had a miscarriage at Christmas.
DH whipped it off before I saw it at the time in case I said anything I might regret!

igirisu Sat 15-Jun-13 09:11:49

Any time I say I'm tired I get "well of you think you are tired now!"
He will be here soon! (I'm overdue)
Have you had it yet?
I had someone tell me I won't take to breast feeding and she can tell just by looking at me! Thanks!
Are those stretch marks sore? You should try coco butter (I have tried EVERYTHING)
Why do you need a baby monitor? Are you planning on leaving him on his own? (Wtf)

RNJ3007 Sat 15-Jun-13 09:21:44

So many stupid comments from the MIL... Including but not limited to 'breast feeding is unnatural!' 'If you breast feed a girl, it'll make her gay!' 'If you breast feed a boy, it'll make him a rapist' 'You're an idiot for not wanting an epidural, think of how DH will suffer if you don't!' 'Have a c/s and get sterilised this time, you shouldn't have any more, Christmas is too expensive for me already!'

So much food related rubbish, including that its not safe to eat soft fruit, or red meat... And I shouldn't do the washing because bending to the washing machine will cripple the baby!!!

BelleEtLaBaby Sat 15-Jun-13 09:23:08

I've had hyperemesis throughout this and my first pregnancies. The constant offers of ginger or a dry cracker angry As if hospital, drips, IV cyclizine, medication and ten weeks off work we're just some hokum and actually what I need is a biscuit

Makes me smile wryly. I'm quite easy going but I get about snappy in pregnancy - I think if just feels like people think you're stupid. It that hated phrase: "have you tried ..." Which gets me most. I was vomiting 30 times a day at one point: I tried everything and still people felt the need to say "ooh have you tried ginger biscuits?"

Lj8893 Sat 15-Jun-13 09:25:39

At work a couple of my colleagues were discussing chocolate cake and I made a harmless comment like "mmmm lovely" and got an attack of....

"You need to start eating healthily now"
"You can't be eating chocolate cake"
"You have to eat lots of spinach"

Ummm I've always had a pretty healthy diet Thankyou very much!!! And actually if I want chocolate cake, I will have chocolate cake!!!
And yes, I need iron, but there is iron in other things other than spinach which I actually can't stand!!

"It's not about what you like or don't like, its about the baby"

Wtf!!!! So I have to eat things that I cannot stand the taste of?!

From my dm shockingly a few weeks insisted that once this ones born i should think about being sterilised now as she think's 5 babies is enough-I was only 9 weeks then!

From mil with my last pregnancy oh if it's a girl, you'll have to send it back to the shop-lovely!confused
From fil after scan of my last dd, oh great another girl grrrrr, oh well only another grandgirl to add to the 5 we already haveconfused

Last pregnancy, a mum at dd3s nursery (38wks) omg i'm sure it's twins, sure they haven't missed one?

lauracutee Sat 15-Jun-13 09:33:38

"Oh you're due in August? My friend was due in August and it was awful. She was so hot, sweaty and uncomfortable." (She's felt the need to tell me this almost every time I see her).
To which I replied, "Well if it's nice and sunny, I'll relax outside since I'll be on maternity leave." (duh!)

Delayingtactic Sat 15-Jun-13 09:42:38

Bodicea I'm so sorry that's probably the most callous thing I have ever heard and so unnecessary.

"Women shouldn't work past 34 weeks because it causes a higher level of stillbirth" said by a nurse at work who knew I was 36 weeks already and working for another two.

rosiedays Sat 15-Jun-13 10:10:54

Yesterday while walking through shopping centre. ...
Girl on photo shoot stand ' Do you know any expecting parents? ???'
I'm 35 weeks and look every day of it! !!

cupcake78 Sat 15-Jun-13 11:18:33

Yes yes yes with the hypermensis!

'You can't possibly still feel sick' (18 weeks by friend who was glowingly pregnant while I almost passed out, again, in the school playground) hmm.
'Your being sick because your not eating enough' hmm.
Have you tried, rolls off all manner of foods that promptly make me vomit.

'Anti sickness tablets are a very selfish solution to feeling a bit sick, can you not just suck a mint'. If only they were a solution!

I hated onions, garlic in fact anything smelly. So the in laws were cooking LEEK soup and SAUSAGE sandwiches when we went round at 3 pmangry

'You've got spd because your overweight and unfit'. (I walked 6 miles a day and ran 4 times a week)

'How on earth are you going to give birth to a baby that size when you you can't even walk!' Check out lady this morning in the supermarket while I was trying not to throw up.

'You can't possibly be so sick for so long and now your pelvis hurts, why don't you just get on with it everyone i know has managed!' (My supportive sis who is yet to experience the joys her genetics hold for her when she falls pregnant. My nana, mum and now me have been violently sick with every pregnancy from beginning to end).

Fozziebearmum2b Sat 15-Jun-13 11:39:07

'Wow-you're massive! Happy Easter, I'll give you this Easter egg as it has the least calories... ' (2nd line manager)

'Are you sure there's only one in there?'

jessw25 Sat 15-Jun-13 11:40:58

This thread is great!

Mine is similar to Lj8893, upon taking a second chocolate digestive from the tin at work... "Are you sure you should eat chocolate? Won't that damage the baby?"

For goodness sake!! Only if that's ALL I ate every single dsy of my pregnancy! Why do people think they can comment on everything to do with your life when you're expecting, grrrr.

AnnoyedAtWork Sat 15-Jun-13 11:48:45

Futterby

I started uni when DD was 5mo (had her in my gapyr)

It was much easier than having a kid while working full time I have to say!

Got two degrees, a kick ass career and a lovely 8yo now.

Good luck smile

DM for the umpteenth time in both pregnancies -"you can finish sooner though can't you, take some time to indulge yourself."
Erm, yes mum i'm just working for the hell of it really, it has nothing to do with me being the main earner trying to balance our budget for SMP with a toddler and DH who works nights.

RNJ3007 Sat 15-Jun-13 12:45:10

cupcake I feel your pain. I constantly get criticised for feeling/being sick at 29 weeks. Apparently it is in my head/I'm being silly/a drama queen etc etc.

Yeah... Several hospital stays, IV fluids, 6 different anti-emetics and losing 4 stone is all in my head...

Said by pie lady in the market when she said 'oo you're big' and I said 'yes, it's twins':

'Ah. It's like my chickens. All the old boilers do double yolkers. It's Nature's last hurrah.'

I did not purchase her pies.

God I could plough the twin furrow. Another classic being 'well, at least if one dies, you've still got a baby left.'

Confidence inspiring.

Monka Sat 15-Jun-13 13:05:54

This thread makes me appreciate how lucky I am! Work have been brilliant I get the comments of what people think I am having as we didnt find out the sex of the baby. And I've only had a few comments from people who think I am too small for my 32 weeks but I always say hopefully that means baby will be easier to push out! Baby is growing well but slightly on the slimmer side but then I am petite!

Mil did tell me to make sure I didn't wear high heels in the snow which of course I wouldn't and told me that she would make me something healthy (I had just eaten a homemade stir fry) and she wanted me to eat a sausage sandwich. She's a bit of a feeder so I didn't hold it against her! But she has said that when I am close to my due date I should drink milk with butter in it so the baby slides out! Will be giving that one a miss!

AbiElizabeth Sat 15-Jun-13 13:10:33

so that's your degree never going to get completed then? (I had just finished my second year so only have one year off. apparently taking a gap year will mean I will never go back)

are you sure you should be eating that? (after half a chocolate biscuit)

you don't like children though do you?

I hope you don't expect me to buy you raspberries all the time. (I had mentioned once that I had a slight craving for raspberries a week ago.)

gertrudestein Sat 15-Jun-13 15:17:03

From colleagues, now that I've finished work, 'it must be great being able to eat ice cream all the time with your feet up', 'you only got pregnant to get out of work' and 'you have no idea how tired I am.'

Doubledouble Sat 15-Jun-13 15:59:03

Do you know what you're having?

Yes it's a boy!

Oh another boy. That's a shame. Never mind you can always try again for your girl.

This was from a consultant at the maternity unit! hmm

beth27123 Sat 15-Jun-13 16:26:10

Just been told taking paraceptamol will give me a deformed baby by FIL. Wouldn't listen to the fact I've talked to midwife then said " Well if they don't do it those other ones will " (cyclizine for hg)

SixPackWellies Sat 15-Jun-13 16:31:41

I am afraid that I am guilty of a real foot in mouth unhelpful comment.

A casual acquaintance who was very pg with her second baby. And I commented 'I think it is so much worse with the second, because you know what's coming'.

Dear God I wished I had never been born. I said it totally without thinking. I am usually quite sensitive (honest). Poor woman went white.

cwtchontoast Sat 15-Jun-13 16:40:40

My favorite so far has been: "you'd better get thick curtains because the traffic noise will give your baby a brain hemorrhage."

This one came from a mate's mil, I laughed hard, it's pretty quiet where we live anyway.

Gingerandlemon Sat 15-Jun-13 18:12:40

I've had versions of so many of these, I'm so glad it's not just me! I've had the "have you tried ginger" a looot, particularly after returning to work following six weeks off with the sickness. I also get told I'm massive a lot (I'm also measuring bang on) and also get the delighted "get used to it" when I say I'm tired/ not sleeping very well. Then there's the day I was told I looked dreadful and glowing within the space of about ten minutes.

My current favourite is when people say something along the lines of "oh no, girls are a nightmare, you'd be better off having a boy". We're very pleased and excited to meet our daughter in 10 weeks or so. Also, newsflash, there isn't generally an option to select what sex your baby will be, so it's not the most helpful advice anyway. I particularly enjoyed when my Dad sad this. Um, so that nightmare daughter would be me then? Cheers Dad!

Stepawayfromthesweeties Sat 15-Jun-13 18:13:38

Colleague at work 'You should not be eating those' - I was eating a bag of salt and vinegar square crisps!!

Should you be eating mayonnaise (fil) - err its Helmans love, not egg straight from the chicken!!!

Mil on finding out that I'm planning on going back to work part time after 9 months mat leave 'what do you mean you're going back to work, what about the baby'. Then didn't speak to me for half an hour as I mentioned the hideous words 'childminder' & 'nursery'. Apparently I should be desperate to be a sahm, unfortunately as she is not paying my mortgage or any other bills she can keep her nose out!!

From both mil and dh, You've got big hips, you'll have no problem popping the baby out, you'll have it done in a couple of hours. Their psychic powers amaze me, idiots!!!!!

Buswanker Sat 15-Jun-13 18:36:47

People have said the following;
Are you going to have lots of kids to get more benefits? no because we are both employed
Do you not use contraception? noooooo
Was it planned? none of your fucking business
How many more will you have? when we decide we will let you know
Do you know who the dad is?
Don't have a csection you will get post natal depression and hate your baby.

Also no matter what I do it is wrong. For example when I worked I was told that my poor child would suffer at nursery. When I stayed at home I was told I needed to find something to do.

PinkApple86 Sat 15-Jun-13 19:01:24

my childless rather immature colleague keeps telling me how his friend ripped "v to the a" during childbirth 3 times. then by the 4th the baby popped out so fast all over the sofa and she had to buy a new one. twat.

Buswanker Sat 15-Jun-13 19:35:42

What a delightful expression hmm

Runswithsquirrels Sat 15-Jun-13 19:49:36

Ordered my once in a blue moon third trimester latte at Starbucks:
Barista: Would you like decaf?
Me: No.
Barista (looking at bump): Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
I thought she was going to refuse to serve me it!

pinkballetflats Sat 15-Jun-13 20:51:54

What are you going to call her? Make it something sensible, please!!!!..... Said by my DF who usually doesn't come out with verbal shite.

KnittedC Sat 15-Jun-13 21:11:34

Katielily12 It was in Bletchley-where were you? Or perhaps it's just a trait of wool shop employees to be less than tactful towards pregnant women?! wink

HeffalumpTheFlump Sat 15-Jun-13 21:29:08

My nan has come out with a few classics. She saw our 20 week scan photo and repeatedly said the head looks huge, with that sympathetic look in her eyes. She also loves to tell me about how when she gave birth to my uncle she was ripped open from front to back. Apparently it was all hanging open and my grandad had to march up the hospital to have a stern word with the doctor to get her sorted out.

My mum has given some pretty appalling advice for when the baby is here. Apparently I shouldn't attend to my newborn immediately as the baby will manipulate me with crying. Also babies do not need to be cuddled, apparently they are not born with the need to be held/cuddled but learn to like it.

Believe me I am ignoring both of them!

Last week I was being told by an elderly lady that if I had delivered this baby when I was first treated for threatened pre-term labour (27 weeks) then it would have been kinder to leave the baby in the 'bucket room' like they used to. Partly because the baby would need so much help to survive but also because it would cost the NHS loads of money in both the short and long term and the baby would be disabled anyway. I'm so glad that she didn't say that to me when I was 27 weeks. I just about managed to be polite at 35 weeks and that was because I had to be polite.

fatandlumpy Sat 15-Jun-13 21:52:48

Last weekend I was taking part in that 'knitting in public thing'. Bless her - a God Botherer (... and I go to Mass - so I'm not anti-Christian, but I am against God-Bothering with intent to annoy - i.e. leaflets...) came sidling up and starting to talk about my bump asking when was it due? was it a boy or girl etc. etc....

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine... until she says "Women still die in childbirth don't they?

W. T. very F....

She scuttled away before one of the women I was knitting with stuck a nut on her.

... I'm still not sure of the motivation.

FFS....

ComtessedeFrouFrou Sat 15-Jun-13 22:03:02

My MIL came out with some corkers last week on the phone, mostly relate to how her poor precious only child (DH) was going to cope.

Apparently it's madness to have the baby in our room for 6 months, how on earth will DH cope when he goes back to work? She doesn't buy the SIDS advice apparently.

Also, if he feels like he needs a break during labour he should just take himself off for a bit - after all, I wouldn't want him to get one of his migraines. These are the migraines that he's never suffered from in the 11 years I've know him, then?

And finally, maternity leave was much less generous in her day, as a teacher she stopped work at 7 months and only got 6 months' pay hmm

BlackDahlia11 Sat 15-Jun-13 22:18:06

Had a few corkers myself:

Was told today I would literally have no time for myself when baby is born. Thanks!
I will have cracked nipples, sleepless nights and no money while friend who tells me this will travel the world apparently.
After miscarriage and trying again friend rants to me about how she doesn't know why anyone would get married or have kids.

Those all said by one 'friend'.

Other people:

I was eating a sausage and told I should be ashamed for eating it.
Told not to believe anyone who said childbirth can be painless (it can be for some as it was for my mum who had natural pain free birth and she doesn't lie!)
Told how I will have no money even though the people commenting have no idea of my financial situation.
Regaled with horror birth stories
Completely laughed at when I mentioned hypnobirthing
Told not to listen to NHS guidelines for what not to eat as it was a load of rubbish
Said I was going to use a sling for baby and someone commented saying 'I love how first time parents think they can just put baby here and there'.
Someone even said I shouldn't expect my husband to be there for me during the birth as he will be in shock. Fuck off, you don't know my husband!

BlackDahlia11 Sat 15-Jun-13 22:20:00

Was also told I wouldn't be able to afford full time nursery, by a colleague. I said errr yes I will, finance is not a problem. I don't get people commenting when they don't know me or my husband's salaries!

PorkPieandPickle Sat 15-Jun-13 23:22:01

Some of these are classics!

After going public at work with our news, even after explaining that we had to have IVF treatment, privately, people still asking how many kids we were going to have. When I said we might only be able to afford this one, a colleague said with shocked expression, you can't have one, you'll get one child syndrome (!) when I reminded her that we had DSS from DH's first marriage, she said he didn't count, and then went on to say that she felt sorry for me, because while I'm all excited about having PFB, DH won't really be bothered as he's been there, done that, and asked if I'd had to talk him into it!!!!

I managed not to slap her. Just. Grrrrrrr.

lauracutee Sun 16-Jun-13 09:43:02

I'm 32 weeks, a neighbour said to my husband "Oh two of my friends have just had their babies prematurely."

WHY would she tell my husband that?

How lovely and reassuring - thanks you stupid twat.

catinabox Sun 16-Jun-13 11:16:06

I'm not to bothered by the standard..'oh what a high bump you've got' I had a really bad cold and the cashier looked at me and said, poor you, you should go and put your feet up. I cried i was touched that someone gave a shit!

What really annoys me is the 3 standard questions.

'When are you due'

'What are you having'

'Have you thought of any names'

I am having a c-section because i have placenta previa major so due date doesn't really mean anything. If i'm particularly irritable i'll answer with that! They'll wish they never asked!!

catinabox Sun 16-Jun-13 11:20:50

The worst one was when the midwife told us that I had pp major and would have to be brought into hospital on bedrest. She said

'whatever you do don't look on google, you'll see all sorts of horror stories!'

Then said..

'well it's time to grow up now and start taking things seriously'

I'm thirty fucking six married woman with a career and a mortgage !!

Jo1984uk Sun 16-Jun-13 15:29:53

'when are you going to wean the baby? Oh it's going to be big, you should start solids at 2 weeks otherwise you will never be able to leave the house of your just breastfeeding'
Baby was 6lbs 6oz and if anything, breastfeeding has made life a lot more flexible!!!

Also this was a nice one 'god you ain't half getting a large rear' yea thanx for that!

Thing is, I thought the comments were worse during pregnancy, but the things people say AFTER you have had the baby are worse in my experience. But we won't go there smile

chipmonkey Sun 16-Jun-13 16:11:30

Ds1 was a lovely smiley toddler. I was visibly pregnant with ds2 and buying a ticket for charity from a lady. Ds1 grinned at her. She said
"He's lovely, isn't he? My eldest was like that, and then his brother was born and he got depressed and was never the same again. He's 20 now and still depressed. So he ( indicating ds1) might get depressed when you have this baby."

TrudyW Sun 16-Jun-13 16:51:56

Bodicea what a terrible thing to do, I'm really sorry u had to experience that, I too had a mc late last year and someone doing that would have broken me!

Sorry for your loss but also big congratulations on your current baby x

AhoyAhoy Sun 16-Jun-13 18:03:48

Feel a bit down after the weekend. Just as I'm starting to get used to my new 21wk pg body shape, (VERY curvy with a cute bump), I meet up with a group of friends, not seen for a while- first thing every single one of them said, some variation of "your boobs are massive".

Yes, I know they are. Every man I walk past knows they are- after he's had a good look.

Feel like a freak show. Considering wearing some kind of full length smock for the next 19 weeks sad

Bodicea Sun 16-Jun-13 19:34:42

Some corkers I here especially from the mil.

I especially like he you should be ashamed of yourself for eating a sausage! Who do people think they are?

Thanks for you nice comments delaying and trudi. I dont let her get to me. She is socially awkward. I don't thinks she means it horribly she just doesn't get how things can sound. She is more horrible to dh than to me to be fair. It was our second miscarriage that time. When we told about that pregnancy she said i hope it works out this time!
Am sure will have more corkers to come!
Anyway baby felt kick for first time yesterday so all is well I the world.

TrudyW Sun 16-Jun-13 20:40:13

As much as people annoy u and even go to the point of being nasty I just think u have to let it go over your head don't u?! They're not the first stupid comment givers during pregnancy and won't be the last!

And fab regarding baby kicking bodicea I can feel ours moving and forcefully pushing against the front of my belly but yet to feel that first full on kick! But expecting it any day now!

spondulix Sun 16-Jun-13 20:52:09

*'When are you due'

'What are you having'

'Have you thought of any names'*

Seriously?! Those seem pretty innocent questions to ask someone who's expecting! Would you rather people pretended you weren't pregnant?

Lauraandlailah Sun 16-Jun-13 20:55:44

My partner when he was 19 he's now 28 found out his girlfriends baby wasn't his.... His mother had the cheek to say to me he has rights to a DNA test as he is goin to have doubt on his mind from last time with his ex could have killed her! My Nan tells me I don't look pregnant just fat

NeopreneMermaid Sun 16-Jun-13 21:12:03

I got horrific acne with DS and a neighbour I barely knew said: "It must be a girl; they steal your beauty."

I have to confess I am guilty too. Just after I had DD, some visitors, inc woman heavily pregnant with her first, asked if I needed anything. "Yes, a new vagina," I replied. DH recently told me I traumatised the poor woman.

SuffolkNWhat Sun 16-Jun-13 21:33:24

"You're pregnant, not ill."

Said to me by bitch colleague about 20 minutes before I collapsed in the staff toilets and had to be whisked off to hospital to be rehydrated and IV drugs due to hyperemesis. Was signed off for 20 weeks after that with DD.

"Oh you can't tell from behind"

Well no, the bump tends to be on the front, not on my back/arse.

sprite25 Mon 17-Jun-13 16:30:00

Im only 15 weeks and have visited ILS only once since we found out Im pregnant. While there I had MIL explain to me what scratch mittens were in a very patronising way (Im an aunty 9 times, and have always been around babies), tell me what I cant eat but then offer me Ibuprofen or Co-Codamal when I said I had a headache (are you trying to kill my unborn baby?!) and then tell DH that in her day they stayed in hospital for about a week (that was about 30 years ago!) but now I will probably be out in 2 or 3 days if everything is ok (DH believed this even though I had told him otherwise several times before this, and he seemed to think MIL saying this definitely meant Im giving birth in hospital even though we've discussed many times my preference at the idea of a home birth). I cant wait to see what other gems she comes out with over the coming months.....

sprite25 Mon 17-Jun-13 16:34:24

oh...oh...sorry but just remembered another one, a bitch colleague at work found out I was pregnant and instead of congratulating me just asked:
'when are you going on maternity leave?' I havent decided yet
'will you be coming back to work?' yes i will
'well what are you gonna do with the kid then?' erm I think thats for me and my husband to sort out thank you very much!

ShatnersBassoon Mon 17-Jun-13 16:37:44

Me: "I'm going swimming this evening"
Mum: "Well don't go on the diving boards and don't let anyone kick you in the stomach"
Me: confused

WillSantaComeAgain Mon 17-Jun-13 17:00:51

Woman turned to me (36 weeks) and asked all the usual guff, very nice. Then turned back to her friend and said "Oh yes, that reminds me, so and so went in at 38 weeks, was in labour for three days and the baby was stillborn". WHY WOULD YOU TELL THAT STORY IN FRONT OF ME???? obviously very very sad for the poor lady's friend, but honestly, have some tact!

CruCru Mon 17-Jun-13 18:58:38

On Thursday a colleague (who is nice) said "Oh, you never get any bigger, do you?". I am 24 weeks and think I am quite big.

lucy1001 Mon 17-Jun-13 19:00:34

Mil I wouldn't have that chicken tikka if I were you, spicy food can cause miscarriage. I don't think you should take the risk.
Me What does every woman in India do?

chipmonkey Mon 17-Jun-13 19:25:24

WillSanta, believe me, for those of us who have lost babies to stillbirth and SIDS, it is far worse for us than it is for any pregnant woman who hears the story. And one of the worst things can be this wall of "don't mention it" which makes us feel as if our babies should be forgotten. Hearing about it doesn't make it more likely to happen to you. My SIL was due the same time as me. She came to dd's funeral and I know it was very hard for her. But it was way worse for me and dh and she still has her little girl.

HazleNutt Mon 17-Jun-13 19:41:37

chipmonkey of course, if you want to talk about it, it's not easy if everybody else ignores the topic and pretends nothing happened. But the woman in question was not even there, so scaring Willsanta with what is basically gossip didn't help her in any way.

Quodlibet Mon 17-Jun-13 19:42:35

Ooh I had a couple of post-MC, new pg corkers, including 'great news! This time no exercise DVDs though!' - thanks for making me feel like I caused my MMC by continuing with my regular exercise regime.

And MIL sending me emails at 12 weeks with links to advice about taking folio acid - 'did you know this?' Well, yes, being on my second pregnancy in 6 months I have indeed been informed many times about the folic acid.

curiousgeorgie Mon 17-Jun-13 19:57:54

When I was at work 6 months pregnant with DD1 a cameraman I don't really know said... 'Oh god, are you pregnant?' I said (with a big smile on my face) 'yes, I am'

He said.. 'Oh no! Do you know what you're going to do??'

blush

BeQuicksieorBeDead Mon 17-Jun-13 21:11:59

Wow...some real corkers on here!

I have been called every variation of fat since I was 12 weeks. Today a work colleague said I was as massive as her mate who is 38 weeks...I am 17 weeks...I have had various shitty remarks from her over the weeks, including last weeks ' it is really selfish being off for six months on maternity, I think the boss should make you come in at least one day a week' so today I told her to fuck the fuck off. Not proud of myself but she has upset me too many times!

Xmasbaby11 Mon 17-Jun-13 21:16:28

Most of these comments I wouldn't mind at all. A lot of my colleagues are childless and older, and fairly uninterested/oblivious about babies, so any interest I took as a compliment!

Boredworkingmum020 Mon 17-Jun-13 21:21:12

Are you sure there's only one in there? Yes! although little chap was 9lb 11 thank god it was a sun roof exit!

Yes to "is it planned?" (dunno, if I knew how it happened, I could tell you...)
And "gosh you're big, must be twins, hahaha" (yeah, at least I will lose mine...)
And "what are you having? A boy? Well thank goodness for that!" (Hunh?!)
And "but you can't go on maternity leave! It will cost us so much money!" (um no, SMP is paid by the government.)

Drhamsterstortoise Mon 17-Jun-13 21:32:42

Mil -when I had a scan for measuring small for dates she couldn't believe it because she thought I was massive.When sil was talking about a friend of hers who was due the same time she wanted to know was she as big as me because she couldn't imagine anyone bigger than me.On previous pregnancy she told me I looked like I had a basketball up my top.I'm a size 8 and was 'all bump'.Everyone else I met commented on how neat I was!The biggest compliment I received was when she told me I looked better than the last time she saw me( the day after the birth ) and she often reminds me of how awful I looked when suffering from hyperemisis.

Drhamsterstortoise Mon 17-Jun-13 21:33:58

Mil -when I had a scan for measuring small for dates she couldn't believe it because she thought I was massive.When sil was talking about a friend of hers who was due the same time she wanted to know was she as big as me because she couldn't imagine anyone bigger than me.On previous pregnancy she told me I looked like I had a basketball up my top.I'm a size 8 and was 'all bump'.Everyone else I met commented on how neat I was!The biggest compliment I received was when she told me I looked better than the last time she saw me( the day after the birth ) and she often reminds me of how awful I looked when suffering from hyperemisis.

Drhamsterstortoise Mon 17-Jun-13 21:35:10

Oh yes and when I told mil that her comments weren't helpful she said that you can say those things when someone is pregnant!

Definitelynomore Mon 17-Jun-13 21:43:08

Reikimummy, I used to reply that I was not sure but really hoping for a giraffe. My unhelpful comments list (a select couple or we'll be here all night):
Whilst talking to a colleague about the satay stir fry I'd had for tea the night before, another colleague, who I barely knew at the time, butted into the conversation to tell me that I very likely had given my as yet unborn child a severe nut allergy as a result (unsurprisingly 5 yrs later she's fine).
Enquired at a sweet stall about salted licorice, before telling me whether he had it in stock the stallholder told me I shouldn't be eating it. To which I replied that I could eat what I like and that personally I think all licorice is disgusting. I have never heard of not eating licorice when you're pregnant!?!

RedlipsAndSlippers Mon 17-Jun-13 21:45:50

A genuinely nice collegue called me Miss Fattie and asked what I'd do if my waters broke at work, and wouldn't it look like I'd wee'd myself? I thought my enormous bump and contractions would probably explain the puddle!

BumpKitty Mon 17-Jun-13 22:24:40

First pg -
Boss - are you pleased about it?
Me - erm, yes
Boss - oh, how old are you?
Me - I'm 30
Boss - ohhhh, well I can see why you're getting on with it then
Me - shock

and

colleague - How long are you having off work?
Me - I'm not sure yet
colleague - yes, I suppose you don't know if you'll bond with the baby
Me - shock

Second pg - <in front of lots of my colleagues who didn't know>
Ex boss - congratulations, you're a glutton for punishment
Me - er thanks, what lovely sentiment (I didn't say the last bit!)

My mom told me I looked like a beached whale yesterday hmm

I was a 10 pre pregnancy and have put on a not so unreasonable 7lbs by 21 weeks - I don't think whale like is that accurate!

Why do people ALWAYS comment on weight?!

rosiedays Mon 17-Jun-13 23:07:00

Dm. .. What's wrong?
Me. ... I've got piles and they hurt.
Dm.... ha good. That's divine retribution for the one's you gave me! !!!!
Me. ... hmm

Halfling Mon 17-Jun-13 23:17:08

DMIL - Your breast milk will make your DS weaker and less intelligent. And a mother's milk loses all nutritional value when the baby is 6 months.

DM - You should feed your newborn DS only at 4 hour intervals.

DMIL - In our days we never had such rubbish ailments as we were so physically fit - mopping floors, hand washing clothes etc. (while I was on a drip to counter Hyperemesis gravidarum)

Ex-Boss - Don't announce your pregnancy just yet. You never know if you will be able to carry it all the way through (when I revealed my pregnancy at 4 months to her)

DH - Here, have some ginger biscuits (after every time I vomited)

Halfling Mon 17-Jun-13 23:19:19

And DMIL again - Always give your DS at least 1 formula bottle a day so that you can be assured that he is not going hungry.

We arrived at the hospital when I was in advanced labour. Unfortunately, so was everyone else, seemingly- and there wasn't anywhere for me to go except the public waiting room at the entrance.

I couldn't sit during contractions; couldn't bear to do anything but kneel, bracing my forearms on a chair.

Well-meaning woman wanders up to me, and asks 'are you in labour, do you think?'.

'Bloody well hope so' (through a mouthful of powdered teeth)

'Ah. Well, you'll know when it's coming because' (looks about furtively) it starts to really BURN down there (gesticulates downwards with flapping hand).

'Um. Thanks?'

Littleballofhate Tue 18-Jun-13 05:30:44

After being asked for the zillionith time if I were having a boy or girl,I became adept at smiling brightly and answering " I hope so!"
When pregnant at 42 with my DD, I had numerous people ask me if the pregnancy was "natural" or did I need fertility assistance!

Crazycake Tue 18-Jun-13 06:00:36

I had a random drunken man shout at me in the street (8months gone) "nobody's going to touch you with a barge pole now love, you're damaged goods!" shock I was walking with my DH at the time grin

MamaBear17 Tue 18-Jun-13 10:45:37

'Did you not think about going to university before you got yourself pregnant?'

'Yes, im 28, I graduated 7 years ago, and my husband got me pregnant thanks.'

Wickedgirl Tue 18-Jun-13 11:00:54

Definitelynomore....... You shouldn't eat liquorice when pregnant........google it.

When I couldn't keep food down due to morning sickness, one of my friends told me I looked awful. Thanks for that....that makes me feel a lot better!

When in labour with my 3rd, we got to the hospital and the midwife told me I wasn't in labour as I was still smiling. Ds was born 40 minutes later.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 18-Jun-13 11:40:56

Is it mine. Said by my normally tactful husband of 11 years with no history or hint of any infidelity on announcement of the news after he had treatment to make it happen.

And the ginger comments make me want to punch people perhaps they should put ginger in my drip and after having HG with every pregnancy I should surgest it as clearly its a miracle cure.

But I will confess a uncontrollable compulsion to say to every pregnant woman I meet "don't listen to the horror stories there mostly rubbish" and I can't stop myself doing it.

MondayMorningGreens Tue 18-Jun-13 12:01:55

I think this thread is indicative of a much wider problem of PG bodies being public property. It was only during PG that people felt able and entitled to comment on my body, my eating habits, my routines, my entire life. I don't think many people would do that to a non-PG woman. sad

Anyway, when I was PG 8 years ago, almost everyday my mum would end our phone conversations with 'be careful you don't fall over'. No idea why, I hadn't fallen over since I was about 10 and I didn't travel to and from work on stilts. I know it sounds petty and she was only concerned for me but it used to get right on my nerves.

When I was about 20 weeks I went swimming with my best friend. Before we got in the pool, she went 'you're not gonna piss in here are you?' confused I absolutely love her because she just has this knack of saying whatever comes to her mind without any filters at all. I'm used to her by now but she does offend many many people!

SuffolkNWhat Tue 18-Jun-13 12:16:28

Oh and different ginger comments: "Do you worry your baby might be <hushed tone> ginger?"

Er no! I'm ginger, my FIL is ginger and I happen to like my hair colour thank you very much!

bluebeanie Tue 18-Jun-13 12:46:59

About labour/birth: You do realise it is going to be agony - not zen and candles.

This coming from a friend who's not had kids....hmm
I was fuming

pocopearl Tue 18-Jun-13 13:08:32

I have been told that because my DH and I havent gone to parent classes that we will be bad parents and thats the reason why kids these days are criminals. When the same person found out that I didnt want to go to breast feeding workshop (i feel uncomfortable discussing this with strangers) I was told that I was going to be a bad mother and she didnt know why I was having a child if I didnt care about it.

I could of smacked her one. sad ITts always a boost when your 8 months pregnant and feel proper crappy then someone tells you what a bad mother your going to make.

vkinski Tue 18-Jun-13 13:52:23

I'm currently 20 weeks and have a very neat bump that is only really noticable if I am wearing something tight. Cue everyone and their grannie saying 'are you sure there is anything in there?'. Yeah, thanks, just what I need to hear after a missed miscarriage last year.

LaGuardia Tue 18-Jun-13 14:22:00

"you aren't ill, you are just pregnant so you have to do the same work as your colleagues"

Susie888 Tue 18-Jun-13 14:24:26

On announcing to some friends that I was pregnant with my first child: 'Are you going to keep it?' errmmm yes!

Visiting my mother at approx. 31 weeks - 'you better not put on any more weight' Mum - I AM PREGNANT, 2 - I had put on 21 pounds in that time and have been told on several occasions that I am 'all bump' plus there is a history of big babies in my family even though we are mostly quite petite - I am putting on weight get over it!

Health Worker - 'Do you know who the father is?' didn't even want to dignify that with an answer (for info yes I do know and we are married!)

monniemae Tue 18-Jun-13 14:24:27

Wickedgirl and definitelynomore - the NHS does NOT advise avoiding liquorice in pregnancy. Hth more than google!

Susie888 Tue 18-Jun-13 14:28:31

OO now I am on a roll with the ranting I can think of another...

after announcing that I am expecting a boy to a colleague at work: 'Oh, you wanted a girl though didn't you?' - How a colleague I barely speak to have gathered that much information I do not know! For the record - I was secretly hoping for a boy and am chuffed to bits, don't think I ever gave the impression either way - oh well some people do just like to try and get a rise out of you I guess!

syl1985 Tue 18-Jun-13 14:30:34

@Stinkingbishop
"at least if one dies, you've still got a baby left"

How unbelievable terrible that someone had the guts to say that to you!!!
I've read some terrible things over here. But I think you're the winner.

That's really so terrible that you had to hear someone saying that to you.

What on earth are people thinking???
I think that almost every pregnant lady hears stupid stuff during their pregnancy. And probably also when we've our baby's.

Where's this coming from? How can people be so stupid?

syl1985
I know...trying to be charitable though, I guess twin pregnancies are more dangerous, and in their cackhanded way they thought they were being kind...

Also pretty much everyone said something to the effect of 'oo, was IVF awful?' to the extent I wanted to print T shirts with '100% natural, thank you very much, don't really want to discuss my sex life and fertility, unless you want to share?'

'You're ready to drop' shouted by builders from about 6 months...

I could go on. There's a lady who does a blog called 101stupidthings that people say about twins which is therapeutic!

Don't even get me started on my first pregnancy though. I was just about to do Finals at Oxford. Told my very straight-laced DGPs first who were awesome and I will never forget that the first word out of Granny's mouth was 'congratulations'. My DGF later referred to my DS in his funeral eulogy for DGM as 'the jewel in her crown'.

DM though wanted to send me to a Glaswegian convent for unmarried mothers, where the baby would then be sent away. DS is now 19, a straight A* student now at Uni, I still got a Double First and I think have done OK in life, ran a London ad agency et al...she's repeatedly refused to apologise. The last time I asked her, getting her to agree that I had been right and DS and I had turned out OK, she refused and I asked her to leave. Immature, but I just can't get how she thinks my life would have been 'better' had I not had him. And I don't think she can be the best DGM if she views my DS as a mistake.

Arrgghhhh. Years of therapy. Remember lessons. You can't change people. Blah blah blah wink

gnushoes Tue 18-Jun-13 16:03:03

There was a professor who congratulated me and asked if I'd reached "the bovine stage yet". He then went on to describe this. Had it not been a phone conversation I'd have turned into a mad cow and flattened him.

TheOneAndOnlyAllan Tue 18-Jun-13 16:33:25

My mother seems to think it's acceptable to ask anyone who is pregnant through IVF whether it's their husband's (in her mind IVF = donor sperm). One of these days she's going to make someone cry and then finally, perhaps, she'll see why I've said that's not a helpful comment and why can't the first thing out of her mouth in those circs be "congratulations!", or "how lovely!" instead.

hobnob57 Tue 18-Jun-13 17:23:37

Whilst 10 days overdue and planning to refuse induction (much research done on this after bad induction experience and having refused induction before) a friend texted to tell me that a friend of a friend's baby had died after refusal of induction. I was fizzing mad in a way that only an overdue pregnant woman can be.

plentyofsoap Tue 18-Jun-13 17:40:50

A friend of mine, who is normally sensible told me during my first pregnancy that if they had handed her a gun during her labour she would have killed herself as the pain was that bad. That was my favourite. shock

Lavenderhoney Tue 18-Jun-13 18:11:03

I had total strangers and friends tell me horror birth stories even if I said " please stop" they just kept talking..

Dsis- on hearing I was pregnant " I thought you wouldn't have dc!
Me- why not?
Dsis- well, me and mum had early menopause so we thought you would to! Haha
Me- did you not think to tell me that?
Dsis- well, you weren't married and those awful boyfriends you had, we thought it better if you didnt!!

When I first told my dm I was pregnant with my second there was a deadly silence, then " is that a good thing?" ( I was an older mum already and would have to have another cs) we planned a second.

Pregnant with first, suffered from 24 hr sickness - dm - " oh, morning sickness is just showing off. I never had it "

On seeing ds dm " oh, he has red hair. Is he dh's?" I have red haired cousins, dh family have red hair.."

Df " that's a massive baby in there, I feel sorry for you"

Mil to dh " she might lose the baby, she is quite old"

Mil used to call once a week and log my weightsmile with lots of " you're very heavy, you won't lose the weight" comments

Midwife - everyone gets cut. Get over it. You'll need stitches and it will hurt. Had cs but dh was incandescent with rage at her.

Notmadeofrib Tue 18-Jun-13 18:19:05

Oh you're pregnant! Should you be telling us yet after last time? from my FIL - I'd had my 4th miscarriage about 6 weeks before. Yep thanks for that!

amyrobina Tue 18-Jun-13 18:27:18

This is a massive rant and I'm new here so I apologise beforehand. I really needed somewhere to vent and I hope that I've done it with some humour.

I'm 36 and at 16 weeks with my third and showing (a lot - even I'm a bit shocked) and I'm sick of hearing this from almost EVERYONE - "you're looking enormous are you sure its not twins?" - no it's not I've had my first scan.

And these ones are mostly family member's lovely comments.
"You're showing way too much for 16 weeks - you're bigger than so and so who's 26 weeks" cheers for that.
"You're almost as big as so and so and she's due in a fortnight."
"Do you think you should be eating that much you're showing rather a lot already" erm I'm hungry.
"My god you're enormous - when so and so had her third she wasn't showing at all til 6 months and her baby was 10lbs" My other two were nearly 10lbs - big deal.
"Wow is that twins or have you been hitting the pies too often" - yeah I like pies - whatever.
"You're huge, your other two must have completely ruined your stomach muscles" - you try having two 10lb babies before you're 23 and keeping that flat stomach you NEVER had.
"you'd better watch out or you're going to end up huge and no amount of breastfeeding is going to shift that blubber" - lovely MIL.
"are you sure you've got your dates right?" - well unless my scan was wrong, I didn't know when I conceived exactly and I hadn't had a period the month before then erm...

Just for the record, my baby is a little above average size, my weight gain is within normal, my baby is just swimming in a nicely sized pool of amniotic fluid and I have IBS and bloat really easily.

ANd on a different note - regarding maternity leave (I am a self employed piano/singing tutor) I've had these responses.
"You'll be back teaching me after Xmas won't you - my brother can look after the baby while you teach me" - I'm due December and her brother is being investigated for child abuse so erm.... NO.
"You will be putting so and so in for their exam still?" - the exam sessions are the week I'm due, which I had just mentioned.
"You won't need to take much maternity will you - it's not as if your job is hard" - no it's just your child that makes it difficult.
"At least you'll be able to come back to teaching again very soon after the baby is born - your partner works from home doesn't he?" yes he WORKS from home too.
"You will still be putting on the Christmas show won't you? I think it's really important for * to get the performance experience" - well of course providing your child with an opportunity to perform is WAY more important to me than the birth of my own baby.
"I hope you're not taking time off before the baby is due as well as after it's born, I think it would be bad for so and so's momentum and interest to have that much time away from his studies" - honestly just get another teacher your kid is talentless and rude, rather like their mother.
"Do you think you can organise your scans and ante natal appointments so that they don't clash with my lesson in future". Yes because I'm the god of all hospital appointments and your needs are far greater than mine or my child's. (this person does not work at all)
Needless to say I have taken some time off work this week - just so I don't punch them in the faces.

mamachelle Tue 18-Jun-13 18:33:08

thought i would chip in after beloved daughter age 9 informed me earlier that

"now your bum is this big (stretches arms as wide as poss), it wobbles when you walk" and then parades up and down the hallway to show me what i look like.

Am 36 wks on thurs and didnt think i had done too bad with the weight gain. ah, the honesty of children!

tropicalfish Tue 18-Jun-13 20:20:12

someone in the womens loos at work once said to me while I was about 7 months pregnant that
You're so fat now that your husband wont find you attractive

notsoold Tue 18-Jun-13 21:55:26

When pg with dd ( dc1)..."what if she looks like you??" I am not that ugly!!!
When dd was born and was much paler than me ( I am mixed race)...." Is she REALLY your daughter???

When pg with ds ( dc2) said by dsil " hope he is not as ugly as my brother "( dh) also not that ugly!!!

Ds born and looking like me and pp said..".is ds your husbands son???"

This pg....can you afford it??? We both have good jobs / house etc... Said by dsil
Dsil " gosh aren't you too old?"

Said by ds ( almost 14) and dd ( almost 19) " you guys had sex??? " smile

Said my ds few weeks later....you know mum, don't worry if people think you look 42...you never looked prettier !!!

Dh when told about pg " I got super sperm!!!" Lol

amazingmumof6 Tue 18-Jun-13 23:50:35

"was this pg planned?" from GP. code for "are you keeping baby?"
WTAF???
That's way beyond unhelpful. that is the most disgusting, outrageous & evil thing I ever heard from a health professional! angry

beginnings Wed 19-Jun-13 09:23:15

There'll only be 16 mos between DC1 and DC2 so I have had:

"have you not worked out how it happens yet?"
"My word, you're constantly pregnant"
"Blimey, you're big, are you sure there's only one?"

In terms of advice, someone asked me worriedly, "How are you certain those Clexane injections aren't hurting the baby." and then gave me a cats' bum mouth when I explained that, thank you for the compliment, but I had enough covering for that not to be an issue!!

My own Mum is quite good about pregnancy, it's the advice afterwards that drives me crazy. Added to which my SIL's advice about pregnancy, birth and babies is irritating. My MIL response to every "no thank you" is "sigh, it's a miracle I managed to raise six kids." Well done you. I still don't think that white chocolate which is full of rubbish is a suitable snack for a 7mo old. If you wanted to give her 70% dark chocolate, I'd probably think that was a bit better so long as I can have some too

beginnings Wed 19-Jun-13 09:25:35

"oh so you want a boy then" DC1 is a DD

don't mind either way.

"Really??"

Really.

pocopearl Wed 19-Jun-13 09:30:58

I got one from bro in law, are you hoping its a boy, because if its a girl are you worried it will look like dh and be a girl. wtf?

amazingmumof6 Wed 19-Jun-13 09:42:26

when my 5th pg ended in a MC, my supposedly best friend's comment was : "oh, I'm actually glad this pg didn't work out, it would have been so hard looking after 5 kids!"angry sad angry

we have 6 kids now, and yes it is hard, but despite this person being godmother to one of our children I no longer consider her my friend

(I'm still heartbroken about loosing that baby, she'd be four and I miss her every day sad)

amazingmumof6 Wed 19-Jun-13 09:44:51

oops, missed out a bit - I was going to say:

we have 6 kids now, and yes it is hard, but I love having a big family!

moonmanic Wed 19-Jun-13 11:39:58

I was asked by a woman at work who I did'nt know at all well whether my pregnancy was the product of a one night stand (?!). It was all quite random in the kitchen making a cuppa. I was like, err.. nooo - I have a partner thanks.

silverten Wed 19-Jun-13 12:44:35

On a slightly related note: MIL on being informed of my second pregnancy-

'Oh, yes, we all knew you were pregnant because you weren't drinking at the wedding'

Well, thanks very much for pissing all over that news then. A 'congratulations' wasn't one of your first thoughts? hmm? Never mind the fact that I personally don't think it's especially stylish to be drunk in charge of a minor, particularly at a venue which borders an unfenced river, despite some people seeming to think that being mashed whilst looking after their babies is all a hilarious game... or that DD was pretty overwrought with all the excitement and our main aim was to make sure she didn't spoil the happy couple's day by having a meltdown in the middle of something picturesque. And if it was so bloody obvious I was up the duff, it would have been nice if it'd crossed your mind to, perhaps, give us a bit of a hand with the child-wrangling for a few minutes, what with me feeling sick and tired all the bloody time?

Aaaaaand, relax...

Panda247 Wed 19-Jun-13 13:11:49

When my DS was 10 days old my neighbour (guy) asked: so when is the baby due? I have to point out that I was back in my pre-preg size 12 jeans...

I've had

"You're always pregnant" and "That was quick" from a work colleague. Apparently the mmc in Oct doesn't count. Idiot.

"So, if you're 5 weeks it meant your period was on 13 April?" from MIL. How odd is that?! Who wants to know shit like that, let alone work it out. Obviously that comment was some time ago

mmmerangue Wed 19-Jun-13 14:13:12

"Labour doesn't really hurt, it's all in the mind, just breathe through it."

Have to say I had a fairly easy labour that didn't hurt as much as I expected, but it was NOT 'pain-free' and at 30ish weeks I was torn between laughing in her face and telling her to fuck off...

syl1985 Wed 19-Jun-13 16:01:22

@mmmeranque

"Labour doesn't really hurt, it's all in the mind, just breathe through it."

I nearly forgot, but I had a similar comment too with my first pregnancy.
This came from my very own mother.

More things she said during my first pregnancy.

I was being lazy.
I was having a lot of health problems during my first pregnancy and my midwife told me to stop working. At home I wasn't allowed to do a lot.

Then it's so nice to hear your very own mother say that I was being lazy.
Yeah sure, I really enjoyed feeling sick all the time!??!?!?! NOT!!!

To make labour easier and quicker for me my partner had to finger me during the start of the delivery.

First of all like I'd be even remotely interested in any sexual activity during my delivery.

She kept on saying that to me. Every time she said that it just turned my stomach around. Like I want to talk with my mum about fingering my .... Let alone hear her giving that advice to my partner to do that during labour.

Other family members told me I was going to get a lot of stitches down there. Because you're small, so you must be small down there too.

I was like: That's none of your business!!!
After birth I didn't need any stitches at all and all my kids were really big baby's.

spondulix Wed 19-Jun-13 16:04:18

"So, if you're 5 weeks it meant your period was on 13 April?" from MIL. How odd is that?! Who wants to know shit like that, let alone work it out.

That reminds me of the time DH and I went to a party when I was pregnant. One of our friends asked us the due date and we told him and he said "So that means you guys were getting jiggy on ... let's see [starts counting on fingers]". I didn't know where to look!

mmmerangue Wed 19-Jun-13 16:08:38

Curry and Sex,

All anyone talks about in the last month is Curry and Sex Get That Baby Out! (DS was 5 days early, not even in 40+ weeks!)

(Your fingering thing made me remember how much that irked me, syl eww on your behalf, and there was no way I was having sex while that pregnant, or eating a bowl of hot heartburn.)

Discolite Wed 19-Jun-13 19:23:57

I was asked "Is it planned?" by two separate wedding dress shop saleswomen.

Maybe having a wedding and a 22 week old baby is madness but yes, we did plan it this way actually! I just don't think they realise how rude the question is. And actually, even though it's tough having a baby and wedding planning at the same time I think that it would be harder if I was still working full time.

I bought a dress from a lovely shop who didn't make any comments when I showed up at six months pregnant to order it and were delighted to meet my baby when I returned to pick it up!

Buswanker Thu 20-Jun-13 17:24:00

Five people today have said 'you look tired'
One person today has said ' you look like shit'
I guess I don't look like I am blooming then and I probably look like a week old baked potato. Don't really need anyone to keep reminding me.

cakebaby Thu 20-Jun-13 18:38:32

When i first announced my August due dc, i had cRecently I've

cakebaby Thu 20-Jun-13 18:44:38

Whoops, stupid phone grrr

When I first announced my August due dc, many comments about bad planning/schooling issues etc, ffs I'm not 25, I didn't expect to be upduffed after 2 myths ttc! Who cares anyway? Then it was 'oh was it planned?' like its any of your business? This week it's been 'oh you must be SO hot, just wait til August' whilst grinning/laughing smugly. I'm going to punch the next one angry

FruminousBandersnatch Thu 20-Jun-13 18:50:21

I know it's really mean but does anyone else pretend they're not pregnant, just fat, when a stranger asks when you're baby's due?

Yes! I have. I've told people "I'm not pregnant, I just like cake." The key is to keep your face straight while you do. grin

FruminousBandersnatch Thu 20-Jun-13 18:57:17

smile

2Labradors Thu 20-Jun-13 19:29:10

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and was asked 'are you sure it's not twins?' today. This person had her 3rd child too not long ago and we've even had a previous conversation about how quickly you show 3rd time round, madness!

Expecting more of those comments along the way.

LittleIllusionMachine Thu 20-Jun-13 22:04:02

I was telling (now) ex-colleague about my HG and how it effected my daily life as it was so extreme.

She said: "I bet you wish you didn't open your legs now!" shockangry

No smile or laugh. The bitch also made it impossible for me to return after maternity leave and I had to switch depts and jobs in order to stay with the company. I truly hate that cunt.angry

amazingmumof6 Thu 20-Jun-13 22:37:51

fruminous

I don't have to pretendblush

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