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WWYD? Wedding 8 days before EDD

(36 Posts)
Bippidee Thu 13-Jun-13 18:56:41

Obviously not my own! It's the wedding of a really good friend and I would love to go but for the tricksy date.

There's no telling how I'll feel by then.

Do I accept and haul my hospital bag etc with me, or do I decline and feel miserable when I don't dramatically give birth early?

ZolaBuddleia Thu 13-Jun-13 18:58:38

Go to the wedding, MW told me that only 5% of first babies arrive by due date. Is it your first?

Bippidee Thu 13-Jun-13 18:59:53

It is our first, yes. I was late (I'm a dd3!) and my DH was on time.

BumbleBee2011 Thu 13-Jun-13 19:04:37

I've just been to one 4 hours away at 38 weeks, it will be fine (I would've gone this weekend at 39 weeks if that had been the date!)

Just make sure you take your notes with you! Wear comfy shoes and put your feet up at the end of the night, wedding days are long, my feet were swelling by the time everyone was dancing, and I called it a night at 10:30pm while DH carried on til 3am!

On the plus side I was then able to laugh at all the hungover people at the breakfast buffet!

TinkyPeet Thu 13-Jun-13 19:04:40

Say you will go unless you go into labour, which I'm sure your friend will understand, If you have to cancel at the last minute then that's life and everything will be fine

k2togm1 Thu 13-Jun-13 19:07:05

Go and even have a drink! <grabs coat an leaves now>

Bippidee Thu 13-Jun-13 19:07:29

Thank you all. I shall accept ... once I find out where all my other friends are staying!

BumbleBee2011 Thu 13-Jun-13 19:09:06

I would definitely recommend staying as close to the reception venue as possible - worth the extra cost to be able to just go to bed once you've had enough!

sanityawol Thu 13-Jun-13 19:09:11

What sort of travelling is involved and what time of year?

Both of mine were two weeks late, but in the week or so before my due date I reached the 'just get it out' stage. Whilst I was fine in myself, I was uncomfortable and a bit bad tempered (especially during very hot weather with August born DD).

If it's close to home then in your situation I would plan to go, but make sure your friend is aware that babies do sometimes turn up early.

If it's a long journey then I would probably decline.

Just steel yourself for everyone to comment on / touch your bump and tell you long and graphic stories of their horrific birth experience. grin

BlueStringPudding Thu 13-Jun-13 19:09:38

I went to my friend's hen night 9 days before I was due (although didn't stay late) - and her wedding was 3 days before my due date - and it was lovely to have the distraction of the wedding. DD was 2 weeks late in the end. The wedding was only 10 minutes away though - going far probably would have made me think a bit more about it.

How far away is the wedding?

LomboDePorco Thu 13-Jun-13 19:10:09

I agree with tinky. You've got one of the few valid excuses for not showing up despite accepting a wedding invitation. Plus if you've not had your baby by then you're likely to be fed up and bored so a wedding could cheer you up smile

Bippidee Thu 13-Jun-13 19:24:17

The wedding is about 1.5-2 hours away. I've tried to get a room in the hotel, but it's tiny so no free rooms.

Fortunately there are loads of alternative hotels so not all bad news.

Thanks for the advice, I shall definitely take my notes and work out where the hospital is just in case! I may even have a full glass of bubbles too!

I went to my sisters wedding 180 miles away from where I live a week and a half before I was due. I went into labour a week later when I was back home. It was fine though I did leave early to go to bed and all my aunts/uncles/cousins kept telling me how huge I was, like I didn't already know

sparkle12mar08 Thu 13-Jun-13 19:33:15

My ds1 came 2 weeks and two days early! And with ds2 I was the size of a whale and could hardly walk except with sticks, even though he came on time. So I wouldn't have made a wedding 8 days before my EDD in either case!

beginnings Thu 13-Jun-13 19:37:14

Take your notes, take the car seat (you don't want your poor DP/H struggling to find a stocked Mothercare) and your hospital bag and enjoy! We went away for four days three weeks before DD arrived, a five hour drive, and had a lovely time. I also went out for my birthday ten days before my due date and hauled a very tipsy DH home from a pub in Soho at midnight smile my friends were all very impressed and I had a lovely time!

And definitely have the bubbles!!

BoysRule Thu 13-Jun-13 19:39:59

I went to a wedding when I was exactly 38 weeks with DS2 and my waters broke on the way! We were 10 minutes from the church and about 1 and a half hours from home. We had a hotel booked for the night and my parents were at home looking after DS1.

DH freaked out, turned the car round and drove like a lunatic all the way home shouting "I can't deliver the baby - I don't know how!". Fortunately we made it to the hospital in time and apparently they had a toast to DSs arrival at the wedding. My DH was supposed to be an usher and they are good friends.

Fortunately I had everything with me - baby car seat, tens machine, notes, hospital bag etc. DS1 was a week early and I didn't want to risk it.

I didn't go to my mum's 60th birthday party when I was 37 weeks pg with DS1 as they lived 3 hours away. I regretted it to be honest as I could have gone.

I say go. Make sure you find a seat and plonk yourself down and laugh at how drunk everyone gets!

Go to the wedding, only %5 of babys arrive on time. All 4 of my dc were lategrin

Agree to go, keep the hospital bag in the car or have money ready for taxi home to retrieve it. But labours take a while, even if you go into labour you will have plenty of time to get to the hospital if it's your first baby.

JimbosJetSet Thu 13-Jun-13 19:51:47

The last wedding I went to was on my due date - I found it a good ice breaker when trying to make small talk with random relatives, I'm usually rubbish at that so it was nice to have something to discuss! I went 4 days over in the end.

AhoyAhoy Thu 13-Jun-13 19:57:12

I have been invited to a wedding 9 days before my due date... was gutted at the thought of missing it, but all your positive stories make me think I should accept, and go and have a good time.... provided I can still walk that is!

I went to one when I was a day overdue with DS2. It was a hour/half or so from home (other side of London) and I was driving. I just made sure we knew where the nearest hospital was and had my notes and hospital bag in the boot. It was a nice day out, better than waiting at home for something to happen smile I was pretty confident nothing would happen though, DS1 was 8 days late and I actually ended up being induced at 40+10.

I should say that we did run it past the bride and groom first; they knew when we accepted that I might not make it if he turned up on time (DH would have popped up for the evening do without me). They were quite chuffed we came, and I quite liked freaking people out when they asked my EDD... grin

MirandaWest Thu 13-Jun-13 20:02:38

If I'd gone to a wedding 8 days before my EDD I'd have had a 3 day old DS smile I was also in and out of hospital for three weeks before he was born which rather scuppered any plans I had at all....

miffybun73 Thu 13-Jun-13 20:10:08

I nearly went to a wedding when I was 36+5. I gave birth at 37 weeks exactly so i would have been ok, but you never know (that was with my 1st - went to bed at 10pm feeling totally normal, waters broke at midnight, baby born 6 hours later)

PunkyPod Fri 14-Jun-13 10:11:34

I went to one at 38+2 where DP was best man! And another at 39+3. DD arrived on her EDD smile

Rockchick1984 Fri 14-Jun-13 10:46:08

Zola it's 5% arrive on due date, plenty arrive before due date!

OP I'd say accept but warn friend that if you aren't up to it you may have to miss it on the day smile

ZolaBuddleia Fri 14-Jun-13 11:40:27

Oh dear, looks my MW's eccentricities extended to her understanding of dates too! grin

rowtunda Fri 14-Jun-13 14:08:02

Go - I'm going to a wedding in France when I'm 36weeks pregnant. DC1 came at 38weeks, so I'm hoping it is going to be ok!! I just know that if I didn't go I'd end up being overdue!

sanityawol Fri 14-Jun-13 14:49:52

rowtunda how are you travelling?

I may have imagined this, but I'm sure I saw a news story a few weeks ago where a ferry company refused to let a heavily pregnant women on her return journey to the UK.

sanityawol Fri 14-Jun-13 14:51:26
FeegleFion Fri 14-Jun-13 15:03:27

I was matron of honour, as well as giving my sister away 3 days before I was to have a CS with DS.

I even had to attend my pre-op on the morning of her wedding grin

Go to the wedding. Have your HB ready (take it with you, if needs be, but I honestly think you'll be OK.

As other posters have pointed out, it's very unlikely your baby will make an appearance and if he/ she does, think of the story you can tell us vipers of their arrival grin

rowtunda Fri 14-Jun-13 15:42:01

Eurostar tickets booked and fully covered with insurance from the post office grin

BraveLilBear Fri 14-Jun-13 16:15:46

Go! Or, at least, accept with a caveat that if you're not right on the day that you'd stay away for fear of diverting attention from beautiful bride.

At my antenatal class this week, they said that 80% of all babies go over their estimated due date, which is why in France, 41 weeks is given as the due date.

Definitely go if you can, would be a fab distraction, good story for DC when they're older and as long as you're prepared and know where local maternity units are (to the venue) all should be fine...

JRmumma Fri 14-Jun-13 16:28:12

If its a good friend then I would hope they understand your situation. Just have a chat and say that you would love to come and plan to accept the invite, but you just want to make sure she is happy with that as you may have to pull out at short notice if you just dont feel up to it, or if baby comes early etc.

If you accept the invite, i think it is important that you still feel able to change your mind closer to the time, when you will have a better idea of how you will feel on the day. The health of you and your baby are much more important than anything else and so if you dont feel like going the day before, then you must feel able to decide not to, without it upsetting you (by knowing you are upsetting your friend).

And definately take all of your hospital kit etc with you just in case!

Ive been invited to a wedding the day before my due date and have had this chat with my friend who understands that I might not be able to go. Ive also decided to just attend the evening part so that she can invite someone else in the daytime in my place, so I dont feel pressure to attend because ive had a dinner place paid for me.

hope that is helpful.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Fri 14-Jun-13 18:40:49

I've been invited to one 10 days after my due date. I gave our apologies, but the bride, who's been a friend for 20 years, wouldn't accept it! She's got 2 kids herself, and says she'd have been fine after DC2, but not a chance in hell with DC1, so she's totally happy to wait and see if I make it, and if I don't, someone else will happily eat my dinner!

We went to one 2 days before my edd and I wasnt very comfy but I was ok. It had originally been planned for the Saturday night but the bride and groom changed it a few months earlier to the Friday instead.
Lucky for them they did as on saturday night my waters broke all over the kitchen while having dinner with my friends!! That would have been fun at a wedding!!

EverythingInMjiniature Fri 14-Jun-13 18:58:10

I've got someone maybe coming to mine a week before she's due. I just said to see how she feels, and if she's not up to it on the day no worries. I'm sure good friends will understand!

LouiseD29 Sat 15-Jun-13 07:36:06

OP - I'm off to a wedding a week before my due date as well! Friend being very understanding that nature may have other ideas and I could be over wise engaged, but I will pack hospital bag and notes, comfy shoes, check where the nearest labour ward is and hope for the best. Good luck smile

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