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Pregnant (IVF) Worriers (part two)

(1000 Posts)

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others! We have filled our first thread (http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1721178-Pregnant-IVF-Worriers) but there is more worrying to do so here we are.

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

buzzybee123 Sun 02-Jun-13 17:22:25

thanks for the new thread shazza

someone mention getting to 37 weeks with twins, from what I've read that is pretty good going to get that far, a friend had hers at 32 weeks and another at 36 weeks.

my cat make makes me nervous every time she comes near me, I think one of the twins died on Thursday night, that is why there have been changes sad might explain the so called looking cyst in my cervix hmm going to try and get a scan next Monday when i'll be 7 weeks, maybe I am just giving myself false hope, i'm just fed up with all the drugs and how they make me feel . . .

Hello Buzzy
I'm glad you are ok. So did they say that they could see 2 sacs? That could be an explanation. I'm keeping everything crossed for you. A week is a terribly long time to wait and wonder (and worry). The drugs must be taking their toll on you physically and emotionally. When will DH be back? Sending you loads of love. xx

ExpatAl Sun 02-Jun-13 18:24:46

Hello ladies. Thanks for starting this thread Shazza.

Buzzy, I really feel for you. This uncertainty is horrible. Are you bleeding at all?

Another few days down and all is well. Feeling a lot better but won't really breathe until I get to and past 28 weeks.

buzzy all I can say is hang in there!

shazza thanks for starting the new thread. You asked about lying on your back in Pilates. The whole not lying on your back thing has come about because if your uterus is heavy enough it can block oxygen to the vena cava, depriving you and the baby. But you would then feel it too and it would only happen after lying on your back for a prolonged period. I have been reading the Bumpology book (thanks whoever on this thread recommended it, I can't recall right now) and it says there is no evidence that lying on your back harms your baby but it may make you feel dizzy and if so roll over. If you think about it, it would be a bit odd if it were so easy to harm your baby, pregnant women must have been lying on their back for thousands of years!

ExpatAl Sun 02-Jun-13 19:21:34

Shazza, on back if legs are up is fine. Make sure you feel stable with that move (nag nag).

putthecrispsDOWN Sun 02-Jun-13 19:23:43

Hello all! Just checking in to the new thread (thanks shazza).

buzzy keep the faith! Is there anything you can do to keep your mind off things? I read hundreds of books, watched box sets and even played computer games when I lost one Dd and was trying to stay pregnant for the other. Not particularly practical but it did distract me from the mentalling for a while which seemed to make the time pass quicker.

I'm going to wean myself off the fanny candles soon too. I am a progesterone junkie...DH keeps telling me that I can stop now (doc said stop at 9wks) but I have carried on. I think I'll just finish this pack..

So who has scans and such like this week?

gin so glad you had a good 12 week scan. I relaxed a lot after that point, hope you can too. Sorry about the itching though. I am also itchy on my bump, armpits, legs... I've been using only aqueous cream to wash, nothing else in the bath, E45 cream, canesten, vagisil (yes I am that desperate come 2am) but nothing seems to work. I tried about 5 different deodorants and finally found one that doesn't make the itch worse at least. I think I might try the GP to see if she can prescribe something stronger.

dildals you asked about preg pillows a while back. One thing I found with the SPD/PGP is that since I sleep on my side, a pillow under my upper knee really helped to keep my hips stable and aligned. A friend gave me a preg pillow for my first pregnancy and I've actually been using it pretty well constantly for the five years since! Partly because my hip pain never completely went away sad but partly because it is also great for propping you up when breast feeding or reading in bed etc. so i think they are worth it esp if you have PGP.

SweetieTime Sun 02-Jun-13 20:12:12

buzzy time passes to slowly when you are waiting. That might be a possible explanation if you have felt changes. The med don't help as they give symptoms of their own too. Try to keep positive until the scan when you will know more.

gin great news on the scan results

Expat glad you are having a few good days, long may they continue

I start my weening off the meds this week too, the clinic gave me a schedule to reduce things over a couple of weeks. I won't be sad to see the back of the progesterone that is for sure especially in this weather.

Thinking of you buzzy, I hope you're coping. I recommend playing mindless games on your phone or whatever.

I've caught up on all your posts but now can't remember all the individual issues and can't scroll back easily.

My tuppence worth: itching is hell, I get it due to dry skin and swear by Aveeno - the creamy oil in particular.

Names. We are married but I have never changed my name as it's not wise in my line of work and also I prefer my hard to spell foreign name to DHs. The children have his name though and mine will be lost to history!

I have been decorating all weekend. I do not recommend this with a 6 week old baby who wants feeding every hour. I'm shattered and know I'll only get about four hours sleep tonight.

Hope everyone else is ok.

keepitgoing Mon 03-Jun-13 04:32:34

Hi everyone - gosh lots has been going on and i finally have a chance to catch up properly

claire welcome and many congratulations. You're doing great. I'm 14.5 weeks and i think the stage we're at is a bit odd as you feel better but don't look pregnant really, and can't feel anything yet.

mrsH I have an anterior placenta so think i'll feel the baby move later, which i'm a bit sad about. Does anyone else have this. I can't wait to feel movement!

nok good to see you! Congrats on the scan, how's the craziness getting on? You'll be at magic 12 weeks soon, in fact after 9 things look really good.

dildals i can't believe you're getting leakage, i thought that only came after pregnancy <naive> Oh god. I've been doing pelvic floors but will up the numbers...

gin congratulations on your 12 weeks scan! I agree that after that I am finding it easier to relax and feel more 'normal' in my pregnancy. I can't believe you're in maternity clothes already - I have no need yet. As for fanny candles, i stopped overnight at 9 weeks exactly, as per clinic instructions. They didn't bother to test my blood, just said that if the placenta's there then all is being done as needed. So don't worry and I think getting rid of them has helped a lot in the 'feeling normal' thing.

buzzy i'm so sorry that you are going through this, but I think that the difference in size day to day is so miniscule - we have a +/- of 6 days even at the 12 week scan, and at my 5 week scan they wouldn't date. I think you should try and get another scan a week later rather than waiting for two weeks. Oh gosh, I am so sorry you are going through this. I think it sounds likely that you had initially had both implanted, and now just the one. Isn't it weird how animals know what's going on?

Ladies, when did you/will you/should you stop sleeping on your stomach and/or back. I usually sleep on my stomach. I think from what i've read is that you should stop sleeping on your stomach when it's uncomfortable (it's not for me as I have barely any tummy yet) and you shouldn't sleep on your back because of that vein/artery but not sure when. What are people doing? And surely you just turn over in your sleep? DH says he'll wedge me in when the time comes but that sounds bad... I was thinking about 18 weeks??

Another glamorous thing this end is I have what DH has diagnosed as 'skin tags'. A couple have formed under my armpits, and make shaving a real fag. Google says people get them on the fanjos (please god no) and under breasts too, and they might go away post preg or you can get them frozen off. Also, my legs are really really dry and itchy too fairy so i feel your pain there. They seem irritated by chlorine too, even if i shower immediately.

Am still exhausted all the time. And have spots. Am patiently awaiting the glowing part of the second trimester.

But on the plus side blush sex is amazing!!!

Morning ladies

I'm tired today. Stayed up to watch zoolander I remembered it was very funny and I felt like I needed a good laugh!

Fairy thanks for the lying on back info. I feel ok doing it and it isn't for long. Like you I think that there are so many things that we are told to avoid and women have been giving birth for millennia even in caves so we should be ok if we are careful. Excuse my ignorance but what is SPD and PGP? Is bumpology a pregnancy book? We were lent a few so I haven't bought any. I was thinking to get a book for after the birth though. I'm going to get some out of the library.

Expat thanks for the Pilates tip. I think I'm ok but I could probably benefit from a class or two. I do feel better after doing it even though getting up at 6am is very hard. How are you doing now?

Crisps I wish I had a scan this week. I'm starting to feel the need for reassurance. How are you feeling? Less overwhelmed?

Sweetie well done re meds. Soon the fanny candles will be a distant memory.

Mariana thanks for aveeno cream tip. I wonder if it would help relieve the itching from the hives? I think I'll try it. Re decorating we are trying to do it now before shazlett makes an appearance. It's hard though. When the sun is shining we are indoors. Poor DP has been boarding the loft and it was warm up there yesterday.

Keep I agree that this is a strange time. I'm symptom free apart from some late night stretching and my bump is pretty small. Especially in the mornings. It is hard to believe I'm even pregnant. What is an 'anterior placenta'? Would they have told me if I had one? Re sleep. I usually sleep on my tummy with one leg bent up. When that became uncomfortable I put a pillow next to me and put my bent leg on that. That gave me abit of support. Now I'm sleeping on my left side with the pillow between my legs, abit under my tummy and between my boobs (they aren't too big yet). This is really comfy at the mo although the pillow takes a lot of room. I usually change to my right for a short while after my early hours trip to the loo but change back pretty quickly. I'm going to invest in a bolster pillow soon. Mariana suggested one on the last thread and my friend told me about one from John Lewis yesterday that is like a long beanbag so it molds with your body.

Oh and skin tags. I'm quite moley anyway but I thought that I'd noticed a few extra bumps on the sides of my neck when I was putting moisturiser on the other day. So it is probably that. I'm also spotty on and off. Still waiting for blooming to start! Although I have had a few hair compliments lately. I'm also still off sex unfortunately hmm. I hope that desire comes back.

Have a good day all.

keepitgoing Mon 03-Jun-13 09:08:10

I'll try that shaz, sounds comfy. Anterior placenta is placenta on the front wall of the uterus. Not uncommon and not a problem but can muffled the kicks, as you feel them at the front. She didn't tell me, I asked.

shazza SPD stands for "symphysis pubis disorder" and PGP "pelvic girdle pain". They both describe the same problem, which is pain and stiffness in the hips and pelvis. It comes about when the hormone relaxin is released which loosens the joints holding the bones together, causing strain on the ligaments. All pregnant women have their joints loosened but for some reason some women are effected to a much greater extent than others, causing pain and stiffness.

It wasn't really known or talked about before about 10 years ago and only recently has it become commonly recognised. Whether this is because there is something that pregnant women do now that they didn't do previously is not known (eg many more have full time desk jobs where they sit down all the time and create a lot of pressure on the hips) or it has always been a problem but not recognised (lots of doctors and midwives even today think it is just 'part of pregnancy' or confuse it with sciatica or lower back pain) is not known.

The pain can come and go during pregnancy, even on a day to day basis. In some women it becomes severe and they need crutches or a wheelchair. With most women it improves after birth but for some it doesn't. There is a website with a lot of information about it called "the pelvic partnership".

Keep, I got a skin tag in each arm pit but they were more like small raised moles but colourless. I was referred to dermatology as I had so many skin changes during my first pregnancy, the hormones can cause all sorts to happen. I was checked all over and had two larger moles removed as they were itching and one went crusty but it was on my stomach so stretched anyway. The skin tags have never spread elsewhere and don't get caught when I shave so I just ignore them as they're very small.

Shazza I sleep on my front but I stopped around 14 weeks and went into my side. I think back sleeping is only a no no once you're quite far on and even then I think it's ok to sleep on your back if your propped up, it's lying totally flat that can be harmful occasionally. There was a study done about stillbirth and sleeping position and it concluded that it was safest to sleep on your left side, although the study was flawed. There's a good summary of it here:
www.nhs.uk/news/2011/06June/Pages/mothers-sleeping-position-and-risk-of-stillbirth.aspx

claire sorry, I forgot to congratulate you!

Hi all - had an appointment at the "VBAC clinic" today, eg "vaginal birth after caesarean". The midwife I spoke with was v supportive of a home birth, which is what I would like to try for. So presuming my community midwives agree (which I should think is no problem because the one I have seen so far has all been in favour of it) that should be fine. I've also said that if I go more than 7 days overdue though I would prefer to schedule a caesarean than be induced as I don't want to go through what I did last time.

However, when I was reading through the literature on VBAC, I was astonished to read that the incidence of secondary infertility is doubled if you have a caesarean for your previous birth (16% among women having a vaginal birth previously, 32% among those having a caesarean). This research is quoted by NCT and by NICE but I have never seen it in any information on secondary infertility I have ever read nor has any doctor mentioned it to me. If this actually is true then they should be advising women of this risk of a caesarean, after all they advise on far far lesser risks all the time (like 'uterine rupture' in a VBAC which has only a .27% chance of occurring!)

I have seen it referred to anecdotally and on MN but never in any medical literature. Has anyone else been advised on this who has had secondary infertility?

shazza "bumpology" is a book published last year that tries to bring together all the medical evidence on the usual questions one has in pregnancy and present it for a lay audience. Look for it on amazon, I've enjoyed reading it.

Thanks for the explanation Fairy. I'm pretty stiff in the pelvis anyway as I hold a lot of tension there I'm hoping the Pilates and yoga will help. But I'd never heard of the actual name for those pains. I'll look out for bumpology. It sounds good.

The stuff about cesarian and secondary infertility is incredible! Like you I can't believe that this isn't mentioned. That's great if you might be able to have a home birth. I'm comjng round to the idea. The MW gas booked us into a home birth workshop so that we can learn more about it.

And thanks Mariana for the link. I have never been able to sleep on my back. DP does until I roll him over to stop the snoring! And it's just too I comfy on my tummy now. The pillow is working well at the mo. I'm going to move up to a bolster soon. I think that will make all the difference. I quite enjoy snuggling up to something. DP gets very hot.

I'm very thankful to be on my way home at last. Had a thunderous headache today. I know they are supposed to be common in pregnancy. This was my first. Looking forward to resting at home.

putthecrispsDOWN Mon 03-Jun-13 17:50:53

Hi ladies, hope we are all well.
buzzy how are you doing my lovely?
fairy and shazza kudos to you both for the home birth plans. I had 18 people in when I last gave birth so it was very crowded, but bizarrely it still felt very intimate and not at all impersonal. I think a hospital birth is still for me this time (helps with the mentalling!) but my next door neighbour had a home birth and loved it. I'd certainly have loved to have been at home straight after the birth, when it was over I just wanted my own bed and shower and loo!
keep I am quite moley too but I got skin tags in my last pg. they don't bother me so I've never had them removed but I think some GPs can freeze them off?
mariana you sound like supermum decorating with a newborn! I remember the sleeplessness well, I just felt permanently hungover and a bit ill. Hope you get some sleep tonight I won't mention that dd1 didn't sleep through until she was two and a half...

Today a colleague at work (who I used to like!) came up to me, pointed at my bump (was in smart tailored dress today so quite obvious) and said..."am I saying congratulations then?" "uh, yes, although its a bit early so I havent really wanted to tell anyone officially" "oh, how far gone are you then" (hate the fact that we are 'gone' when pregnant, what's that all about?) "um, nine to ten weeks ish" " oh you're big. Are you sure it isn't twins" "it is twins actually" "oh my goodness. I bet that's the last thing you wanted or needed at the moment". angry

What the hell? What? Stupid woman. I really want to tell people to fuck off and that it is none of their goddam business but don't want to be rude. Any ideas on good comebacks that won't make me look like a bitch but will get rid of idiots like this?

Rant over, thanks!

Crisps - That is spectacularly rude. I would favour telling her to fuck off but that's probably not sensible. How about saying 'Well actually we're delighted, we've had a struggle getting to this point.' That might work. My DD1 was a horrendous sleeper until I did controlled crying at 10 months, I'll do it with DD2 at about seven months so I just have to keep going until then... (Super mum I am not! My parents were here minding the baby.)

fairy, I knew absolutely nothing about the link with c sections and secondary infertility. I consider myself quite well informed about pregnancy but that is genuinely a surprise. When I requested my section my consultant said whether I can easily support you or not depends on whether you plan to have more children as most of the risks are about problems in future pregnancies - scar ruptures, adhesions etc. I said this was my last and that was that. It makes sense though as you must have scar tissue reducing the surface area for implantation to take place in.

I've never considered a home birth! Kudos to those who do though and avoiding the post natal ward has to be a huge bonus.

I'm dreading this evening, the colic is back despite my dairy avoidance. I think we just have to see it out now, should improve in oh about another 5 weeks.

<sobs>

GinSoaked Mon 03-Jun-13 19:03:13

FFS at your colleague crisps. Firstly how bloody rude to ask you outright and then to make a comment like that?! I have no witty come backs and am v cross on your behalf.

Sorry about the headache shazz. I had a proper migraine last week and had to take the day off work. smile at another spooky coincidence in our OHs both being from god's own county (as he calls it).

I too am v impressed at the potential home births. I am far too much of a worrier to not be at hospital and also don't wanna mess up my own sheets

Good luck for tonight mariana!

Thanks for the fanny candle tips. I'm weaning myself off them and no bleeding so far... I have had a crap day re sickiness. Blurgh. I thought it was meant to get better at 12 weeks?! I do keep remembering the tiny baby on the scan though and thinking it's all so worth it.

I'm telling my team at work on Friday. Am debating whether to say it's ivf. Other than my boss, no one knows about it. A bit of me thinks it's none of their business and the other part thinks why should I hide it and I'd like to try to help normalise ivf. Hmmm, what have other ivfers done/planning to do?'

buzzybee123 Mon 03-Jun-13 19:27:54

crisps you should say 'and I'm interested in your ignorant narrow minded short sighted opinion because............' but I am a cow, my colleague who is an Aussie male physio has already told me I scare him grin I've already gone up a dress size with the drugs not all the obsessive stoggie eating the weight gain in what 2 weeks is rather scary blush

again tell her you are a competent and organised woman so you will no doubt manage quite well, its called mirroring she is projecting feelings of herself onto you, clearly she is not keen on herself

mariana sorry about the colic

gin I worked with a guy back home and his wife had sickness until she gave birth shock I have made no secret about telling people but then most of these people are aware of my miscarriages so have been waiting for an 'announcement', Barry told the family not to mention its IVF, I don't care what people think though, I am happy for them to think that its because of me as its DE, its what you feel comfortable telling them

thanks for asking about me ladies, I feel like shit right now, just constantly eating hmm then feeling crap hmm a bit of sickness earlier today and back to a 3+ so I think Thursday/Friday was about one of the twins not making it sad

putthecrispsDOWN Mon 03-Jun-13 19:40:38

buzzy sorry to hear that if that is the case. Glad your test results and symptoms are back. I've gone through the same thing and it's very odd, you feel distraught and also grateful at the same time. I hope the next few weeks bring you some answers and a plan to move forwards and look forward to.

gin I tend not to mention IVF unless asked specifically. I'm not ashamed of it at all, but I find even educated people are quite ignorant of how it works and ask tons of questions because it is something different. Most of them will then also offer their opinions, which can be a little insensitive: it's not natural/oh they fixed you see I told you so etc. My close friends know and are ok but at work I sometimes feel like the person that people talk about when they say 'I've got this friend that...' and gossip. I get easily irritated by people so try not to give them the opportunity to piss me off! I think it's a personal thing though, do as you feel is right. Congrats on the 12weeks too, awesome!

I didn't give much of a reply to said stupid woman. The woman kind of works for me and I don't think she meant to be rude so tried to be dignified. Was also asked today about whether I would be able to do my job and have three children (I am an assistant head - teaching is quite old fashioned with respect to womens abilities!). My response: watch me. And then I smiled. I was quite chuffed with myself for that!

crisps wow that is rude on so many points. The only snappy answer I can think of to 'how far gone are you?' is 'so far gone I ain't never coming back!' ha haha. No, it's pretty feeble. One of the higher ups at my workplace last pregnancy and now this one never missed an opportunity to exclaim loudly in front of everyone at how 'big' I was. Thanks.

mariana I'm really surprised too. I wonder if that's part of the reason why secondary infertility seems to be increasing as the caesarean rate keeps going up as well? I'm amazed this hasn't been investigated thoroughly.

gin I haven't told anyone at work it was IVF apart from one colleague who was very helpful throughout. I don't think they'd understand and I don't want to have to try to explain it. I have told friends though.

I'm really going for the home birth because I am not allowed in the brand new midwife led unit because I have had a caesarean before and so my only other option is to go back to the same delivery unit where I had an extended traumatic labour before. I just want everything to not be like the first time. I don't feel afraid of giving birth at home, whereas my first time round I was. We are only 10 min from the hospital anyway if something were to go wrong.

oh and gin sorry about the sickness still. I had it until about 14 weeks with both pg but it eased up after 12 weeks so wasn't every day.

Crisps I'm astounded at the rudeness. I don't have a witty or clever comeback I'm afraid, I think that I would say, "actually they are both very much wanted and needed and we are thrilled to be welcoming them into our family." Your response to the coping comment was ace!

Mariana I'm only just venturing into the world of parenting techniques. Is there a reason why you decided to try controlled crying (apart from the obvious sleeping problem) and a reason why you will leave it until 7 months this time? I know that it is early days but it is bewildering. I'm confused by all the conflicting advice. I'm sorry that you are expecting a difficult evening. I hope that you are surprised.

Gin It is so worth it. Just keep thinking of little Gintastic. I'm not sure about the IVF dilemma. I didn't tell work that I was going for treatment and haven't now told them the whole saga about the miracle conception. Our friends and family know everything and like you I wanted to tell them because I wanted to normalise IVF. I don't think that there is anything to be ashamed of, quite the opposite. I think that it is amazing that the opportunity is out there. However, telling your nearest and dearest is different to telling colleagues. When I told my boss, he mentioned another 'older' mother at work and said something like, "Don't worry about age, I mean look at * she had her last one with some strange intervention or something'. He meant well but was abit ignorant.

Buzzy, I'm so sorry that things are tough. Hang on in there honey. Good news that the digi reading has gone up. It sounds like sadly you lost one but you have another one there that needs you to be strong in these trying days. My thoughts are with you.

Fairy, we are further than 10 mins from the hospital. I'm still not totally convinced. Partly cause of risk and partly cause I'm completely anal about cleanliness not sure about how it would work here as our flat isn't that big.

I cooked the most spectacular, tasty, protein and calcium packed dinner tonight even if I say so myself grin. Quinoa, loads of green veg, smoked salmon cooked right at the end, topped with toasted seeds. And there is some for lunch. I'm looking forward to it already!

I'm having an early night tonight. DP is painting so I'm on my own. Do you think that it is ok to go to bed when it is still light outside? I feel like a little girl!

Night all. x

buzzy I hope you get some answers and reassurance soon.

I've been in bed for hours already! She seems better being fed in the dark and I'm very tired anyway.

shazza, controlled crying is a tricky one. I didn't want to do it but was at the end of my tether. It used to take three hours to settle DD1 and even then she would wake an hour later and I'd be in with her for another couple of hours. I used to lie on her floor singing to her, deranged with tiredness (I wouldn't bed share then either). With controlled crying she was self settling and sleeping through within three nights. First night she (and I) cried for an hour, second night half an hour and third night five minutes. It meant naps no longer consisted of me walking round and round the park with a blanket draped over the pram, and then her waking the second we got home. I could put her in her cot after lunch and she'd sleep for two hours. it worked very well for her and she was a happier child for getting decent amounts of sleep and I was far happier not being shattered all the time. It's controversial though and you're not supposed to use it on babies younger than seven months so that's why I'll wait. It's awful doing it but if it works then it's great. I am a great one for routines though, except I've always fed on demand, but routine keeps everything vaguely in order and allows me to feel like I'm in control. I'm awful at going with the flow etc. Anyway, don't worry about parenting - I mostly made it up as I went along and did whatever felt right to me. It's a very individual thing and very easy to be judgey of others (which is secretly quite fun!)

I think you should be open about IVF if you're comfortable with that. I am open about my losses and fertility issues as I think, like some of you have said, that it's needs publicly acknowledging that pregnancy is a massive challenge for many of us. It might make them think twice in future.

shazza choice of birthplace is entirely individual (just like mariana says about raising babies). However people I know who have had a home birth have said that there is really very little mess and I don't think you would need a lot of space, it's more about being comfortable where you are.

keepitgoing Tue 04-Jun-13 02:53:14

gin I too am being fairly open with friends about ivf. I'm not sure I'd say it when telling my team, but if it came up in 1:1 conversation I think I would.

There's no way my dh would entertain a home birth - he's a Dr - I might get away with a MW centre but only if it's across the hall from the ward. Tbh I think I wouldn't feel comfortable being at home anyway and what about pain relief But given we still don't know where we'll be living when we get home in august it's still academic. I am head-in-the-sand about the labour until 20 weeks I think!

Is it weird that I felt odd/slightly upset by an instadiffer announcement by a v good friend? I mean, I'm pregnant now!

buzz I'm so pleased you feel like crap again, and the digi went up, but so sorry if one of the embies didn't make it. I still think you should go to epau on Friday if you can.

fairy I'm shocked at secondary infertility rates for vaginal and especially c sections!! Oh god, let that not be an additional thing to worry about getting ahead of myself. But this is to be your last, right? I agree, why isn't there more research?

keepitgoing Tue 04-Jun-13 02:55:31

Oh and crisps I am outraged at your colleague. What an idiot. I think some people may just be trying to make conversation but... I hope she's not a blabbermouth. I think I would have said sth like 'actually they are exactly what we want and need, thank you'. Make her feel dreadful.

keep, I too am still slightly resentful of instaduffer announcements. I can only assume it's a hard habit to break.

I assume there isn't much research into sections and infertility as there's little money in it so nobody will fund it.

Morning girls.

Keep I also feel resentful about instaduffer announcements. In fact how is this for resentment..DPs best friend recently married a girl after a whirlwind romance (3 and a half yrs and no proposal bitter? Moi?) the girl is sweet but oh so perfect. Anyway following our announcement the friend has told DP that they are trying already a month after the wedding. I'm already waiting for the announcement. She is so effing perfect she is bound to get upduffed in a nano second. <shamed at rant>.

Mariana thanks for sharing your experience. It is really generous of you. I've read that it is a controversial technique and I guess it is easy to sit back and say one would never do that but I can see how it worked for you and that is good to know. You are right there is so much judgement out there. I've got SILs who are Gina fans and a cousin who is all about attachment parenting. All are already asking me what I intend to do. Crikey I'm not even half way through yet. I feel that both camps would like my reassurance that I agree with them so that they can confirm that their choice was the right one. But you and fairy are right. We have to make our personal choices. I hope trenchlet got a good nights sleep and so did you.

Fairy maybe the MW will bring plastic sheeting to cover the floor. If not we could put the decorating dust sheets down! Re pain relief. A couple of paracetamol should do it smile

Talking of which, I've woken up with the headache that I went to bed with and had all day yesterday. Am I ok to take a couple of paracetamol? Book says I should ask my medical practitioner but do I really need to see the dr to ask about paracetamol?

I hope everyone else is ok. Re comments about big bumps. The opposite is also true. I've had people comment that I'm not very big which makes me feel that I'm letting shazlett down in someway by not eating enough and hindering her growth. So we can't win!

Enjoy the sunshine.

Xx

buzzybee123 Tue 04-Jun-13 08:36:41

happiness short lived, i'm back at EPAU with little symptoms and spotting sad god I hate all of this

ExpatAl Tue 04-Jun-13 08:46:44

Oh Buzzy this is crap. So sorry. But I guess if you lost a twin there would be a bit of spotting? Have a virtual hand to hold. x

Busy day - hope everyone else is well.

Oh Buzzy big hug. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Everything crossed for you. X

keepitgoing Tue 04-Jun-13 09:04:00

Fingers crossed here too buzz, do let us know.

shaz you could always propose yourself... I liked your rant... It's not like we'd wish troubles on anyone, but 6-9 months would be good for people imo... You can take paracetamol. Just stick nicely to the guidelines. They just write that on everything. Hope you feel better.

I feel like I wouldn't do controlled crying by choice, but having seen my niece not sleep through till 2, I would at some point if s/he is a bad sleeper. I HATE all this judging that seems to happen, and I think you're right shaz its prob to do with validating their own choices. It prob makes bu difference at that age <ignorant though>

buzzybee123 Tue 04-Jun-13 13:00:46

hey ladies back from my second home hmm baby is measuring 2mm too small but there was a heartbeat, they said that IVF babies are a it smaller?? Is this true, I also googled that tilted uterus doesn't help for some reason, just got to hang on until next Wednesday

ExpatAl Tue 04-Jun-13 13:04:33

I read that tilted uterus can make measuring very hard. So glad you saw a heartbeat but you're probably wondering if you can rejoice just yet with spot apparently measuring a little smaller so I'll do a big loud WHOOP for you!

keepitgoing Tue 04-Jun-13 13:06:48

Woo hoo!!!!! You are 6+1, right? Fantastic to see a hb. I measured 2 days behind at 7+4, five days ahead at 13+1. So it could be ivf babies, or just its so hard when they ate so small.

buzzybee123 Tue 04-Jun-13 13:48:00

all sonographers have trouble finding things inside hmm i'm usually full of gas hmm and one of my ovaries is always hiding and my bowels always want to be in the picture i'll keep holding onto the idea that it is my wonky womble for now, thank you ladies smile

Buzzy that is brilliant news. I've been checking in hoping for news. Hang on in there honey. X

buzzy that's marvellous, I hope that gives you enough to go on until next Wed. The heartbeat is the important thing.

buzzybee123 Tue 04-Jun-13 15:00:43

Thanks ladies, as long as I have no more spotting, well there is nothing I can do at this stage other than hope and pray smile

MrsHY1 Tue 04-Jun-13 19:00:34

Woop for buzzy! My sonographer at the Lister told me that the size margins are very big at that age because they're so titchy. Good luck x

MrsHY1 Tue 04-Jun-13 19:00:37

Woop for buzzy! My sonographer at the Lister told me that the size margins are very big at that age because they're so titchy. Good luck x

ExpatAl Tue 04-Jun-13 19:09:15

Totally MrsH. At that stage they're just checking that things are in the right place, WHICH THEY ARE!!!!

ExpatAl Tue 04-Jun-13 20:09:42

I've missed off half my post - not sure how that happened. I wrote a long angsty ramble about shopping. In a nutshell would I be counting my chickens if I order things like a pram and cot now. And is anyone looking at prams? I'm thinking of getting a citi jogger - does anyone have any views?

Buzzy, that's great news. Hang in there.

Shaz, the fact that you're even thinking about it means you'll be a great mother. I think that anyone who worries that they are a bad mother never actually is. It's those that never even consider it that are the worst. (Does any of that make sense?!) I'm living proof that you can pick and mix a range of approaches depending on your needs, I'm much more baby led generally, but I do think controlled crying saved my sanity.

Prams: I love my Mamas and Papas Sola. It's just lovely.

Top Tip of the day: Upmarket jumble sale TK Maxx has some great baby bargains. I was killing time this afternoon and went into one. They had Grobag sleeping bags really cheap, presumably last seasons design but who cares. I bought washable baby wipes (these are great for sticky hands) but my best buy was a Skip Hop change bag for £28 instead of £62! The actual baby clothes were pretty ghastly but I'd say it's well worth a look.

This afternoon the Trenchlet actually slept in her pram whilst I browsed nail varnish in Boots. This is what maternity leave is supposed to be like!

Dildals Tue 04-Jun-13 21:48:40

shaz when you go on to the new scientist website you can read some of the bumpology columns (for free). They're quite entertaining!

dildals thanks, I'll look that up - sounds perfect 4am breast feeding reading material. I love New Scientist.

Hello ladies

Expat my bro has a citi jogger. He loves it. He says they got it cause it was the best one for one handed collapsing. But I've just looked up Mariana's and that looks great. It is bewildering choice isn't it? I've read the mn reviews hundreds of times! I don't think you are counting your chickens at all. I think that you can afford to let yourself enjoy choosing these items for your little one. smile

Mariana thanks for the vote of confidence. I guess it will all work out once shazlett is here in front of me. I'm glad you enjoyed your shopping trip with trenchlett.

Dildals thanks for the tip. I'll look at the new scientist. How are you feeling now?

Buzzy how are you feeling tonight?

Keep did you try the pillow trick at night by the way?

I hope everyone else is ok and had a good day. We've just been dancing and now it's bed time. Night all.

MrsHY1 Wed 05-Jun-13 09:41:29

Hello ladies! Happy Hump Day Wednesday.
Mariana glad to hear all is still going well with you and DD. Thanks for the info on routines. Shazza I'm unsure as to what we'll do as well - I've heard from friends that Baby Whisperer might be good when they're tiny and Gina Ford might come in to play when they've started to grasp the sleeping thing? I'm clueless! I need to learn! Re the 'tell or not to tell' re IVF piece - we have been very open with friends, family and total strangers TBH! It seems like the last taboo and since we spoke about it all kinds of things fertility related have come out of the woodwork from others, I feel good in a way that we've perhaps helped some people to talk about it. PS, what kind of dancing were you doing last night? I'm intrigued!
Keep I'm with you with the instadiffers! Definitely! PS, are you going to be having the baby in Thailand?
Crisps - wow to the colleague's insensitivity! Can't really add much more to what the ladies have said really. Hope you can brush it off and see it for what it was.
Buzzy I'm sorry for everything you're going through but it sounds like you have every reason to stay positive now, even though I won't insult you by telling you to relax!!
Expat - I'm somewhat freaked out/embarrassed to say that DH and I are going pram shopping next Sunday - I'll only be 15.5 weeks! However, there is method to my madness - I'm fairly sure we'll be going for a Bugaboo Cameleon which old K Middy is rumoured to have selected for the royal sprog - so I want to get mine ordered lest there is some kind of worldwide stock shortage!
Hello fairy, didals and anyone else who is reading!
14 weeks today. Two loo trips in the night. Nothing much else to report!

Hello mrsH and everyone

We were ballroom dancing. It's great I really love it.

I was looking at the bugaboo bee. How different is the chameleon? Good info re royal choice. I commend your foresight. Oh God it's so confusing. We want to cover so many things, lightweight ( we live on 1st floor), ok on buses, good for car seat, ok from newborn, easy to fold and folds up small. AND affordable! It's a minefield. My parental unit is chipping in for the pram so that is a worry off our mind.

I was also up twice in the night. I'm usually only once but just couldn't sleep last night. Anyone hear on the news that pregnant women are now advised to avoid household chemicals and food in tins or plastic? Why don't they just confine us all in padded rooms until we have safely gestated the offspring that will carry the human race forward wink.

The bugaboos are lovely but dear god the cost! I can wholeheartedly not recommend the Chicco travel system. I had this first time round and it was rickety, heavy, hard to collapse and generally rubbish. It was third hand though via my sister. They are one of the cheapest brands and I suspect you get what you pay for to a certain extent.

I think I would go for a better make but seriously consider second hand. You can get my Sola with all the kit for about £150 on eBay which I think is very reasonable but it depends how you feel about second hand. DD2 has some things that she is the sixth baby to use and I'm still planning to pass on some to my cousin for use a seventh time!

<polishes green credentials> (Conveniently ignoring use of planet raping disposables...)

ExpatAl Wed 05-Jun-13 10:27:52

I like the bugaboos but dont want to get somethig that KM will get which I know is ridiculous. Also like the uppababy but don't think it will get through the tram doors here. Shall check out mamas and papas. Also, do you have any experience of the concord neo?

Shazza, yes I heard that advice. Fabulously vague. A sort of you're doing it all wrong but we can't tell you how to do it right.

GinSoaked Wed 05-Jun-13 10:40:35

Morning all! The buggy chat is interesting. I think we'll wait until the 21 week scan before buying, but I am researching in the meantime and am totally overwhelmed by the choice! Our house is tiny, so we need something that folds up small, but must be ok to get on/off buses. My parents have offered to buy it too! I like the look of the mama and papas ones marianna. I think there's a m&p factory shop somewhere, which we may try.

Ballroom dancing shazz? It's all I can do to drag myself home to the sofa after a day at work! V impressed!

mrshy a royal pram for baby hy smile I am dreading they'll use one of my baby names, meaning we can't use it!

Thanks for the bumpology tip didals.< Plans an afternoon reading, erm I mean working!>

buzzy hope you are doing ok today. It is such a worrying time and I too had the small bean issue, as mentioned on t'other fred. I can imagine it's a hundred times harder with what you have been through in the past and I just don't know how I'd manage without DH about! Although mine kept going on about how 'mental' I was the morning of my scan. Thanks love, I think a few tears mad sobbing were allowed!

mariana TK Max is a great tip for baby stuff. I've got a lot of household stuff from there and hadn't thought of baby stuff. Your afternoon shopping with a sleeping baby sounds ace.

expat hope you are ok and feeling a bit better after your tough weekend.

Instadiffers still annoy/upset me. I know it shouldn't, but it does.

All ok here. Only 1 loo trip for me last night and I managed to sleep til 7, rather than 6 or earlier! I am still feeling sick though and also have a cold. The MW told me colds are good for the baby's immune system, but doesn't stop me feeling shite!

gin I think being 'mental' on the morning of your (7 wk? 12 wk?)scan is perfectly reasonable! My DH said I was more anxious than he had ever seen me before (which is going some). There aren't many other situations in life where the results are so stark and important.

We got an "out and about" jogger for DS and will be using it again for DD. It is very durable and lightweight, the only problem being because it is designed for jogging (which I did do quite a bit of) it has a really long wheelbase which can be a pain in shops. Folds up easily enough. It also is a facing forward style so when DS was v young that meant I couldn't keep an eye on him all the time.

I heard that "advice" from RCOG this morning on the today programme too. It seemed to me to boil down to "there may be a risk, we don't know, but given that we can't rule it out, it's best that you avoid it". Which would be fine if the thing to avoid were say, Amazonian frog venom or powdered unicorn horn. But given that it's things that are in heavy daily use by just about everyone it seems rather irresponsible to me, particularly given how emotional one becomes over exposing your baby to a 'risk'. How can you even quantify or identify a risk from such common and heavily used things? Does that mean that every baby born in the last 50 years in our society is missing a few IQ points? I really don't understand it.

GinSoaked Wed 05-Jun-13 14:12:14

Thanks fairy! It was the 12 week scan and I just ignored him swore at him a bit

I know re the news - basically EVERYTHING is bad for us. It's hard enough as it is, without not being allowed to eat anything pre packed/ tinned. And if you eat fresh, you're risking toxiplasmosis etc etc. I just try to be sensible and avoid anything with definite risks. They seem to keep changing their minds anyway - I was rather pleased to see Stilton is now allowed!

Right, better do some work...

keepitgoing Wed 05-Jun-13 16:08:48

I thought it was a dreadful report 'there may be risks but we don't know, so we advise pg women to be careful'. Wtaf are you supposed to do with that?! I can only drink bottled water here. You have to just be realistic.

mrsH I Can't believe you're looking at prams next week!! How exciting. I will not be doing anything till at least 25 weeks - we move back to the UK at 22 weeks, then have to find a house, move in, sort MW care and birth etc.... Eek.

There is no way I would spend that on a prams, nice as it looks. My sister's cast offs, eBay, or cheaper models are my cup of tea I think.

It's just a pram, no? Or am I missing something vital?

keepitgoing Wed 05-Jun-13 16:17:22

Oh shaz I tried the pillow thing and though it was comfy I just turned away from it in the night. Onto my tummy, argh....

Hi ladies

Keep I'm glad the pillow helped abit. You get used to it. I was thinking to put one each side for when I turn over but there wouldn't be much room for DP!

I'm also considering a secondhand pram purchase even if my parents are buying. Even better if someone gives us one but everyone I know still has one in use with their second child or has a second on the way. I'm still hoping to use a sling mostly anyway.

Fairy that might account for some of the ignorant people out there! I agree that we can't avoid everything. It seems to be indicative of our 'put warning labels on everything' society. As Keep said we have to be realistic and we are all doing out best. Re jogger I can't run for toffee so that is one pram I can cross off my list. Good to know they work for those who do though and they aren't just branding hype that I fear so many of these prams are.

Gin we are going to wait abit re pram too. Mainly because we have to decorate every room in our flat so there is no point buying it yet. In mothercare they told me about a scheme where you can order stuff, pay bit by bit and then they deliver it all near the due date. Sorry about your cold. I didn't know that about the baby's immune system. I was also mental before every scan. I think it's normal. I am quite an anxious person sometimes but pregnancy is the most worrying experience I have every had.

Mariana we are definitely secondhand Roses in our house. Along with handmade. I've got all my knitters on the case re clothes but sadly they can't knit me a pram! I'm going to visit everyone I know with a toddler in a van to collect stuff!

Everyone else ok? If there are any lurkers hello to you too.

Very quiet day inside me today. I can't feel shazlett anyway yet but no stretching today or any sensations to indicate there is someone in there.

Hope you are all ok and had a good day.

buzzybee123 Wed 05-Jun-13 18:21:41

stops eating beans straight out of tin what this is bad for me hmm I get tired of all this so called expert advice. Just before I went off for IVF they were saying that women who leave having kids till later on have a higher risk of breast cancer hmm really kick while i'm down why don't you.

I did have a look at some stuff in TK Maxx before and bought a cute little all in one, sadly I miscarried so I put it away in my MIL's loft along with the items I knitted sad

keep I also looked on Ebay at prams in the past, there are some good deals

Isn't KM due in July, I'm surprised the sex has been kept a secret this long

gin what kind of baby names do you have wink it is understandable that you would be anxious about your scan, I'm used to doing things on my own so Barry being away doesn't make much difference, he would only smother me if he was here

shazza ballroom dancing, i'm impressed, DH and I are too uncoordinated for anything like that

thank you for your support ladies, I have been feeling pretty crap the last couple of days, indigestion and sickness, I have cycilzine and Buccastem, neither really helping, my concern is that I'm on high levels of progesterone and prednisolone and I'm eating like a horse, have already gained 4 kilos, I am just constantly hungry but only carbs and stoggie stuff, last week it was hoummous and toast, today its cheese, beans and toast hmm

Buzzy cheese and beans on toast sounds delicious. I know it is easy for me to say but you have enough on your plate to add eating worries on top. You have a cocktail of drugs taking their toll along with all the other worry. Maybe once you are feeling better it will even out abit? And hummous and beans and cheese are all excellent protein. At least you are not eating cakes and kebabs.

Re ballroom dancing we are not going to win strictly anytime soon, we can't even get through a whole dance yet without stopping but we are getting better and we really enjoy it. We started when all the fertility pressure was getting to us and we'd forgotten to have fun. Now we laugh throughout the class. It's great.

buzzy I understand about putting clothes away in the loft - when I first started TTC my second I bought for a friend who had just given birth a gorgeous little dress for a girl baby (blue, a Japanese style block print, from Polarn O Pyret). Then I found I liked it so much I couldn't give it to my friend blush. I kept it in my drawer at work because I just felt superstitious about bringing it at home. Then as the months passed I started to feel that I would never have that baby so I piled a bunch of work stuff on top of it and tried not to look at it. But now I have got it out again and although I am not up to bringing it home just yet it isn't the sad thing lurking that it has been. I hope the items in your MIL's loft go through the same transformation for you.

buzzybee123 Wed 05-Jun-13 19:46:38

fairy I don't plan to do much until i'm about 20 weeks, I would like to do some more knitting though

shazza I'm a big girl anyway so its alot of weight to gain in a month and loosing weight when pregnant is not easy, I don't want to end up with gestational diabetes either hmm

SweetieTime Wed 05-Jun-13 20:33:20

buzzy I have been craving carbs too. Just had to have marmite on toast even though I had already had my tea. I blame a thread I read in chat about marmite on toast. I have been craving it ever since.

I am waiting until after 20 week before getting anything. I might have a look at buggies on the net but am not getting anything.

I am having my blood taken tomorrow ready for my nt screening a week on Monday. I am going for bob the sample straight to the clinic rather than trust putting it in the post.

buzzybee123 Wed 05-Jun-13 20:57:16

sweetie I am in the HATE marmite camp although DH is hoping I will convert hmm

Gah, I want marmite on toast now and I'm in bed so can't.

I bought nothing for DD2 before she was born. I've still not bought her any clothes as I have all DD1s and people have bought me lots of (pink) things for her. I've got her some things for her room though so I'm not totally neglecting her.

I am absolutely knackered. I have forgotten what normal feels like.

Marmite, yum yum. With LOADS of butter!!!

I'm sorry buzzy I hope I didn't upset you. I appreciate it's hard. I just thought maybe the drugs are playing their part because it doesn't sound like you are eating bad things. It's a horrible time for you and I wish for you to feel better.

Fairy that sounds like a beautiful dress. Your little tinkerbell is going to be pretty as a picture.

Good luck with the bloods today sweetie.

Mariana I feel for you. We have it all to come. How is the colic now? Of course you aren't neglecting trenchlet smile

My new paranoia is that my bump isn't big enough. I've got my 20 scan in 3 weeks and I hope I grow more in that time.

After yesterday's warnings on the news DP wants to pack me off when we start glossing the woodwork. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go!

Have a good day all.

ExpatAl Thu 06-Jun-13 11:32:01

Hello girls.

Buzzy, I really don't think this is the time to beat yourself up. Be nice to yourself.

Shazza, I didn't really have a bump until around 24 weeks last time. It's all popped out this time and my bump is a big as a colleagues who's due in 2 weeks!

I love marrmite. Very buttery soldiers with marmite to have with boiled egg. yum.

Sorry to not be reading the thread more closesly. I'm so busy at work I have no energy by the time I get home. I had a check up this morning and all is well - slowly inching towards 28 weeks. 26,5 today.

I'm sure I saw something up thread about upduffed announcements. I get jealous when someone announces a second or third pregnancy. Silly, I know. I try to tell myself that if you're going to be jealous of something you have to be jealous of the whole package and it helped a little when a friend announced her 4th baby because I really wouldn't want her alcoholic arse of a dh <miaow>

Gin, I'm doing okay thanks. Starting to feel a bit more confident.

SweetieTime Thu 06-Jun-13 11:42:48

I know I started the marmite debate but am going to have to have marmite soldiers with boiled egg for lunch. I was planning to have salad but that is just not as appealing.

Midwife has called this morning to say I don't need to be taking increased dose of folic acid for my twin pregnancy. Apparently she has checked with senior midwife. I don't know if to just get some and start taking a couple of extra a day to supplement my pregnacare vits. it can't hurt can it?

ceara Thu 06-Jun-13 13:32:23

I've been lurking and too scared to join you on this thread until my first scan, as I was terrified there would be nothing there.

Just back from hospital and for today anyway, it is confirmed I am 6+6 following FET in May, with a little bean that's the right size and has a good heartbeat. This is the furthest down this path we have ever been; my first IVF ended in a chemical pregnancy and prior to that, nothing for 3 years of trying on our own. I used to think the 2ww was bad but I have never been more terrified or closer to losing my sanity than I am right now!

Can I join you for some hand holding please? Buzzy, I think we are at about the same stage and kind of similar situations in that I have ZERO pregnancy symptoms and am also having spotting. The clinic could find no reason today for the spotting so I just have to wait it out and try to stay positive and hope the spotting stops, but it's hard. Hope you are doing OK and hanging in there keeping up the positivity and cheese on toast. Good luck for your next scan.

Hi to everyone else too.

Congratulations ceara and it's totally normal to be nervous after what you've been through. Come and be mental here and you'll blend right in! (Spotting is very common too.)

Shaz you still have stomach muscles so that's why you'll have a neater bump. By the time I was on my fourth pregnancy I was out of normal jeans at about 6 weeks!

I'm also jealous of 3rd and 4th pregnancies - I think they're being greedy!

ExpatAl Thu 06-Jun-13 16:07:42

Hello ceara and welcome to the fretting thread. Seeing a heartbeat is great news - congratulations!

keepitgoing Thu 06-Jun-13 16:39:15

Hi ceara welcome and congratulations! Brilliant news. We have all been dreadful up to our 12 weeks scans, then it gets easier.

expat you're doing great! Any other pain? Are you at work or off?

I have bleeding gums this evening when I brush. Anyone else? I only went to the dentist ten days ago, he said I had v mild gingivitis, nothing to worry about.

ceara welcome and congrats on your little bean.

shazza I don't think size of bump really has much to do with size of baby (although there is a vague correlation later in pregnancy which is why they measure you) because a lot depends on your shape (some women stick out in front, others go out all over), how many pregnancies you have, how much fluid you are carrying etc. Just be glad you are not already huge and ungainly like me! PS my DH painted the kitchen a few weeks ago and I was very very happy to use the excuse that I shouldn't be inhaling fumes to have naps instead of chipping in.

Welcome ceara and congratulations. Very exciting to see a heartbeat. You don't need to worry about being worried. Its normal here. We are all in the same boat. Nice to have you on board.

Sweets I'm not sure about the extra folic acid. If they told crisps then maybe you should take some. What did dildals do? It's good that there are 3 of you to compare notes. I'll look in the books I have at home and see what they say.

Expat good to hear from you. I hope you aren't working too hard although keeping busy helps the time to tick by. You are doing great.

Fairy, expat and Mariana thanks for the reassurance re the bump. Actually it seems a bit bigger today but that might be wind blush. I think the 'oh you're not very big are you?' Comments started to play on my mind. I don't want to let shazlett down but I can't eat anymore!

Now I can't remember the other posts. Sorry if there is something I've forgotten.

Hello to everyone else

X

Oh keep yes to bleeding gums. Mine often do a bit but the other day i got such a fright cause there was loads of blood. It's stopped now though. And I still haven't made a dentist appt. thanks for reminding me.

Oh keep yes to bleeding gums. Mine often do a bit but the other day i got such a fright cause there was loads of blood. It's stopped now though. And I still haven't made a dentist appt. thanks for reminding me.

You can buy something called Gengigel or Gingigel in Boots, a blue and white tube of gel that you rub into your gums last thing at night that helps with the bleeding and inflammation. It's about £7 a tube. My hygienist recommended it during pregnancy.

ExpatAl Fri 07-Jun-13 09:58:07

Hot hot hot. Desperate to get home, take my sticky bra off and stand under a very cold shower. I feel revolting.

Expat I was confused for a minute but then remembered that you live abroad! It's not so sunny here today.

Thanks Mariana. You are a mine of top tips. I'm writing them all down smile

I'm starving. We are moving desks here and I've missed a snack. Time to tuck into lunch soon.

keepitgoing Fri 07-Jun-13 15:48:14

Thanks Mariana, though I couldn't find it in boots here. Will have to wait till I get home. I literally cannot wait to not be hot expat. Before pregnancy and living in Bangkok I was always cold at home. I was ok here pre preg, but now I am Always Freaking Hot and I've had it. It's 38 and v humid all day, and like 33 at night. Argh. Ah, rainy cold England, how I miss thee. 7 weeks...

ExpatAl Fri 07-Jun-13 18:12:18

Wow keep 38 and humid must be hard work. It was 28 today and I struggled. A friend gave me the tip of putting wet flannels in the freezer for a while and then putting them on your pressure points so am giving that a go. I'm back at work.

Haven't heard from Dildals for a while. Hope all is okay.

ExpatAl Fri 07-Jun-13 18:19:44

I don't know where my head is these days. Is there really such a thing as pregnancy braiin? keep 7 weeks is very close. It must be getting exciting! Are you all sorted?

Once you start looking at travel systems properly the cost is amazing - near enough 1000 euros. I saw an x-lander pram on the tram the other day and it looked fab but can't work out where I can get it.

ceara Fri 07-Jun-13 18:44:32

20 ish degrees with a nice cooling breeze is about my limit of comfort. Those temperatures sound pretty gruelling. Lots of sympathy. I have also found that cold compresses on pressure points help a bit on the odd occasion the summer turns up here in England, so it's definitely worth a try.

Thanks for the welcome and the reassuring words about spotting being quite common. Mine seems (touching wood and holding breath) to be abating for now though my sanity's still awol! I feel like I want to camp out in the hospital and have a scan every day before breakfast. And I really hate hospitals. And scans. (Is irrationality and anxious obsessing a pregnancy symptom? Maybe I'm having some symptoms after all!)

Lovely to see how many of you have already made it through the first 12 weeks.

buzzybee123 Fri 07-Jun-13 18:49:37

shazza you did not upset me, I'm just shocked at this uncontrolable eating and massive weight gain, if I was thin to start with I would worry so much but I really just cannot control it, I ended up going 3 hours without food today as we on a home visit with a patient and it took longer than expected hmm I now need to have emergency snacks in my bag grin
one of patients asked if a colleague was pregnant, she is a big girl but she is most certainly not diffed, I did wonder what he though the same about me, although I won't be one of those women with the little bump, i'll be the one that people can't decide if i'm pregnant or fat grin

ceara welcome and congrats smile
yes you are a couple of days a head of me, I do now have symptoms that I neurotically note down each day hmm I've had a few days where the sickness has been unbearable, I have not known anything like it, then get totally freaked out when in goes away, never happy
Did the clinic test your progesterone level?? my clinic told me up my dose and the spotting has stopped, when is your next scan smile

expat the weather thing threw me a bit too wink

keep 38 and humid shock I've lived in warmer climbs but have to say I am glad to be in the UK right now

well there isn't much left in the house to eat besides the cat hmm I am finding the husband quite irritating at times, he's only be home 45 minutes grin

Finding one's husband irritating is a definite pregnancy symptom.

I too can only cope with 21 degrees. 38 just sounds horrible, hope you're feeling cooler keep. Somehow!

Ceara, I hated scans but obviously found them reassuring if they were ok. The reassurance generally lasted about two days. It's so hard but just try to get through one day at a time.

Still lovely weather here but I discovered that I can't fit into any of my maxi dresses due to massive bosom. I can't wait for these things to deflate a little.

ceara Fri 07-Jun-13 21:20:34

Thanks buzzy. Mad world, isn't it, for me to be saying I'm so pleased to hear you're being unbearably sick and vomitous :-) I hope your scan next week (is that right?) brings you more reassurance.

As for me, I am now discharged from the fertility clinic as of Thursday, so no more scans or tests scheduled yet unless the spotting returns/gets worse in which case I have to see my GP for a referral to the early pregnancy unit. I think I will book a private scan for a couple of weeks time - part of me is chicken, but probably better to know sooner. Still no real pregnancy symptoms other than slightly tender breasts if I really think about it, and occasional minor possible nausea, though I do have a sense of smell now which isn't normal for me. My mum had no pregnancy symptoms in the first trimester, so I am trying to take comfort from the thought that maybe its in the genes!

Nobody suggested upping my progesterone so I am still on my standard dose of the lovely crinone until 10 weeks. Sorry to be graphic at dinner time but I was very bunged up with the crinone residue gunk stuff at the scan so wondered if that had been somehow affecting absorption of the progesterone recently??, though that is probably daft craziness. No spotting all day so I am trying to be content with that.

I can identify with the hunger and have been struggling to stay away from beige things and to eat my 5 a day. Dinner calls...

buzzybee123 Sat 08-Jun-13 11:21:16

have woken up not feeling pregnant at all, no sickness, tiredness, boobs hardly sore sad

Nokkie73 Sat 08-Jun-13 11:59:19

buzz I get days like that, or certain times of the day (if that makes sense). They are so tiny at this stage (but getting bigger each day - remember that) their impact in our bodies is likely to be minimal. I said to my mum the other day that I wanted morning sickness because it would prove to me that I was preggers. She looked at me as if I was bonkers and said 'no you bloody don't. I had it with you and I couldn't function half the time'. Try to hang on in there. In my dark moments, when I feel symptomless, I have to think logically and look at the other evidence to suggest that in all likelihood, I am still diffed. I.e., no bleeding. I know this doesn't give you a cast iron guarantee either, but unless we're scanned each day, it's all we have.

Hang on in there lovely.

Noks xx

Hello to everyone else.

buzzybee123 Sat 08-Jun-13 12:10:45

nokkie this is the time I would feel sick usually between 7.30 and 17.30 each day, I have nothing, and yes your mum is right it is hard to function when sick, but I would more rather be sick then constantly wondering what is going on, bleeding means nothing, I've had 2 mmc before and I'm on such high doses of progesterone that I wouldn't bleed so that doesn't tell me anything, my boobs have been constantly sore but today they hardly hurt

ceara Sat 08-Jun-13 12:34:57

Buzzy, it's so hard after all you've been through not to have dark thoughts so I won't insult you by saying stay positive. Can you do something or go somewhere today that has happy associations and distracts your mind for a little?

Hope everyone else is OK today.

Buzzy, likewise I won't say don't worry, but regardless of what else may or may not be going on you can't do anything about it today. Therefore in my experience the only answer is distraction. If it's as sunny with you as it is with me why not clean your windows, that'll keep you going for hours chasing those never ending streaks.

keepitgoing Sat 08-Jun-13 15:27:10

Oh buzz, not long till Wednesday. Then you'll know what's what. Every pregnancy is different.

I am v sore after Tracy Andersen workouts yest and today. shaz I think you have her, are you enjoying? Are you on month five now? I think I'll alternate months 3&4 for a bit, so not as repetitive.

Ceara I wouldn't think the old gunk stops absorption, after all this is just what its designed for. I guess we just have to trust the doctors, after all they've got us this far. Have you told any family yet?

Hi noks you ok?

Hello Ladies

Keep I don't have Tracy Anderson, Dildals has that one. I have 10 minute prenatal Pilates, Prenatal Yoga short forms and Erin O'Brien Pregnancy Fitness. They were all pretty cheap on Amazon so I got different ones for variety. I do 2 lots of the Pilates one every day so 20 mins and then at the weekend one of the others. Today I did 30 mins yoga which is boring as anything to be honest but I needed to move and stretch my body. I guess just do what feels right for you. If it's too much, as you say, go back a month and alternate. Would you like me to send you some of the gum stuff that Mariana suggested? 7 weeks until the move is so close. Any idea where you are going yet?

Expat wet flannels in the freezer is a good idea if it is hot. I'm forever putting cool compresses on my body during the day cause of my hives. I have to nip off to the loos and wet some paper towels otherwise it is unbearable. I know what you mean about travel systems. I look at the price and think 'ok, a couple of hundred' but then you have to buy the pram, car seat etc etc. What about buggies that lie flat instead of a pushchair/pram? They look abit flimsy for a newborn to me but does anyone have any thoughts?

Ceara I'm pleased the spotting has eased up. I know what you mean about wanting a scan all the time. I think irrationality is a symptom! I fear I may never get my sanity back. Congratulations on being discharged from the clinic. It's a big moment after such a journey. I had a private scan because I took the Harmony test at the Fetal Medicine Centre and 2 scans were included in the price. Re symptoms, I didn't have any of the major ones (ie tender boobs, sickness) but I did a lot of prep and had a lot of acupuncture in the lead up to treatment (all of which may, ironically, have resulted in me getting upduffed without treatment in the end) and my acupuncturist said that I shouldn't worry about not having symptoms cause in a way that showed that everything was working ok. She said that hormones rise and symptoms come but then your body adjusts and the symptoms wane abit. I felt abit reassured by that (but admittedly not much!). If your mum didn't have many symptoms it could well follow that you won't either.

Buzzy It is so tough. I want to give you a hug. All we can say is hang in there and we are all here for you. How are you feeling this evening?

Mariana I've always wanted a maxi dress but every year I try one on and I can never find one that looks good on me. I'm hoping that this year, the bigger boobs and expanding belly might mean that finally I can wear one! How are things chez Trench?

Noks how are you feeling now? I'm at home alone obsessively bidding on Ebay items. Guess where Bono is?!!!

Hello to everyone else. Quite a few peeps are quiet. I hope you are all ok.

I haven't left the flat today. What with one thing and another it didn't happen. Oops. and it is such a lovely day. This morning DP and I had a panicky conversation re maternity leave following my meeting with HR yesterday and the realisation that mat pay is nowhere near what I had calculated. Apparently the maternity policy that I printed off was wrong! I'm really stressing now that we won't have any money and I'll be forced to go back to work really early. I'm good at budgeting but I have no idea how I'm going to make that work. Hopefully the lottery ticket that we bought at work on Friday came in!

Have a good Saturday evening girls. x

shaz I love my McLaren Quest buggy. Lightweight, folds nicely and cost about £150, but not suitable from birth, only from three months. However, the McLaren Techno is suitable from birth, is more expensive but gets great reviews. Either would be far more suitable for a small hallway than a massive pram. What you could also do is use a sling for the first three months then use a buggy after that. The only thing I would suggest is that if you use a sling, buy a shopping trolley as anymore than one bag with a sling is a pain whereas a shopping trolley would be fine for buying food etc. and that's what the sling using people round here do.

Bad news about the maternity pay. Can you save some between now and then? Do you have any savings you can use to extend it? I think it's important to try and get as much leave as you want or you'll feel very miserable. Bear in mind, as I'm sure you have, that you spend less when on leave as you hardly go out. I think I spend about £10 a week as pocket money and that usually includes lunch out at a cafe for me and DD1 once a week. No work travel, lunches etc and you cook more from scratch as you've hopefully got more time.

Also massive sympathy on the hives. I've been getting a recurring on over my lip which is driving me mad. I have no idea why, it's like an itchy moustache.

We have MIL staying so have a crucial extra pair of hands about the place. We are possibly off to a local hall today for a wander round the gardens. Or off for a picnic by the river, I haven't decided yet. I do love living in the countryside!

Hope everyone else is ok and UK people are enjoying good weather.

Hello Everyone

Thanks Mariana. I was looking at the Maclarens when thinking about buggies. Great idea about the shopping trolley. I was wondering how to carry everything with a sling but that is a really good tip.

I am trying to save now and luckily we got some of the IVF money back so we can use that to buy any baby stuff that we aren't given/lent. I know you are right about not spending much. I'm sure we will work it all out.

I'm sorry you have a hive on your face. I completely sympathise. I also have them come up on my face everyday completely randomly and most of the time it feels like something is crawling on my skin even if a bump doesn't come up. I am at my wits end with it all. However, I keep thinking that others have much worse things to deal with and I am grateful that it is not life threatening.

I'm so envious of your countryside day out. I'm stuck indoors trying to sort out the biggest piles of rubbish paperwork that you have ever seen. Thank heavens for EP on Sunday and singing musical theatre songs at the top of my voice. Goodness knows what Shazlett thinks her mum is up to smile.

Have a good day all.

GinSoaked Sun 09-Jun-13 14:50:59

Hello all. Hope you are having lovely weekends! We've seen lots of our family (and inflicted the scan DVD on them), which was nice, but I now have a horribly headache and nausea, so have returned to my bed.

shazz I know the money panics well.. DH's contract is only until jan or mar next year, which keeps making me feel rather stressed! His work want to renew it and hopefully this will happen, but it is frightening. I'm v impressed at all your exercise. I wanted to go to pregnancy yoga, but am still too nauseous and tired. I may try one of the DVDs instead...

mariana I may well check out the ML Techno. Sounds ace. Hope your day trip went well yesterday.

Hi ceara. I was soooo nervous before my 12 week scan and no doubt will be in the run up to my 21 week one. My one comfort at the mo is my growing tummy, although this may well be due to all the cake I'm eating!

buzz a tight handhold. It is all so hard. Hope you are doing ok. Do you have a scan this week?

I too am eating like a horse, mostly to stave off the nausea. I have stopped weighing myself... As long as the baby is ok, I don't really care how fat I get! And I am enjoying having some boobs for the first time in my life please may they stay post-baby

keep and expat phew at the heat where you live! I find I'm too hot a lot of the time anyway and couldn't cope with scorchio weather at the mo.

fairy I like the fumes excuse for lack of DIY. It's an excuse I may well steal!

Waves to everyone else.

I went on a clothes shopping mission on Friday afternoon and now finally have some stuff that fits me, yay! I've tried the eBay route, but nothing seems to fit that I manage to buy and some stuff isn't that much cheaper. Red Herring has 25% of its maternity stuff at the mo. For those of you in souf London, the Clapham Debenhams has a small range in store, and there's lots online too. I now have to stop buying stuff for myself and get saving for the post 21 weeks scan baby splurge...

ExpatAl Sun 09-Jun-13 16:42:21

Buzzy, hand holding from me too. For what it's worth I mc while on massive amounts of prog and it didn't stop me bleeding at all. Roll on Wednesday.

Mariana, I quite like the look of the ML. Do you think it would cope with a very cobbly town? I was considering just having a sling and a car seat for the first few months seeing that we'll either be driving, taking public transport or walking through the woods etc. Then I'd spend the money on a good buggy. Do you think that's a mad idea?

Shazza, your hives sound miserable. It must be horrible in the heat. I am prone to excema and very itchy dry skin so have a tiny bit of an insight into what you have to cope with. Is your allergy diet having any effect? It always comes down to money. We only get 15 weeks in Belgium so I will use some other leave to take it to 6 months but then I have to go back to work. I'm already getting weepy about it but that's the way it is.

Hi Noks. I would have liked morning sickness too. It would have made me feel properly pregnant.

I am wasting hours watching my belly jump. Am so in love with this bouncy baby.

Gin, it's alway fab to have a good shop.

Dildals, I hope all is okay.

Expat The allergy diet isn't working at the moment. Have you ever tried anything for eczema? Skin problems are pretty miserable aren't they? The only thing that I haven't cut out that I'm supposed to is fish but because I'm already veggie and dairy free, I'm worried to do that with the baby. I'll just keep trying until I hit upon something. I feel for you with the maternity leave. I'm also feeling emotional already at the thought of having to go back because of money. Who knows, maybe we will be running screaming from the house by then anyway! I'm so envious of your bouncing baby. I haven't felt anything yet and I'm dying to. Mainly to be reassured that it is still in there. But I think that it will help me bond with it abit. Things are very quiet down there at the moment. I'm also hoping to go fully sling at first. But I think we need a pram for DP and also my parents.

Gin Well done on the shopping expedition and the top tip re sales. I'm actually re-ebaying my 2 mistake buys at the moment. 2 pairs of jeans that just didn't fit. Yesterday I got another dress and a top. I agree that somethings go for not much cheaper. Maybe it is the thrill of the auction. I give myself a top limit on every item and don't go over. I lose most things but I've picked up a couple of bargains. I also want to wait now until after the 20 week scan and also when I'm abit bigger. I just don't know what I'm going to need. When is your scan? Have you felt anything yet? Sorry you are feeling sick. That sucks.

How is everyone else feeling today? I hope that you have had a good day. DP is at the studio again so I've got some time to myself. I'm having a gluten free fish finger sandwich for my tea and I can't wait. I found the gluten free fish fingers in Sainsburys and I was so excited!

MrsHY1 Sun 09-Jun-13 19:43:44

Hello all
How is it Sunday already? I swear this weekend was put on fast forwards or something...!
Welcome to ceara - I know that feeling all too well of being over the moon and terrified to be over the moon all at the same time! I think everyone on here does! Take it one day at a time and one scan at a time. That's what I did to 12 weeks and now it seems to be getting easier.
buzzy I hope you are OK today. Thinking of you.
keep and shazza I feel very admiring of you two and your workouts. I've got an exercise bike which I've been sporadically using and two unopened DVDs (pilates and yoga) by the TV. I really need to use them!
shazz sorry to hear about maternity leave worries. It is stressful thinking about it. Our work policy was also worse than I thought. At least you don't have to make a final decision for ages though right?
mariana I hope you enjoyed your day out in the countryside!
Thanks for the Debenhams tip gin and glad you've got yourself sorted! I've now vowed not to buy any more maternity wear until the autumn at least - what with my second hand haul, Isabella Oliver online splurge and recent Gap haul (it was 30% off this weekend) I'm pretty well kitted out! I too am eating like a horse - but I can't use the nausea excuse! I guess I'm just a greedy cow smile
Expat I love the idea of your bouncing belly!
Waves to everybody else.
Had a very chilled weekend here - DH is away so went for a pregnancy massage yesterday and lunch with a friend today. Also watched two great movies on the Sky box - ' I give it a year' (genius) and 'The Impossible' (the one about the tsunami). Now just contemplating what to have for my tea. My head says soup, my heart says cheese on toast. Wonder what's going to win smile

Cheese! (How I miss cheese on this dairy free diet! Shaz, there mustn't be much left you can eat.)

I'm not sure about cobbles expat, logic would say the bigger the wheels the better and maclarens don't have huge ones. I'd have a look at other people pushing prams over the cobbles and see what happens. (Lovely bouncing belly too, any freakish elbows / knees sticking out yet?)

Oh and try Aveeno cream for eczema. It's brilliant.

shazza I sympathise re money worries. DH went freelance just before I found out I was pg w DS and we were already broke because I had been re-training. I only got statutory maternity pay and we could barely pay the rent. Luckily there was loads and loads of free baby stuff on freecycle and my parents bought us a pushchair. DS slept in a free second hand moses basket until he was about 8 months; we had a TINY one bedroom flat. It was all fine though in the end but very stressful.

gin and mrshy I sympathise re increased appetite. I weighed myself yesterday and I've gained 1 stone 4lb at week 22! I didnt' think I had been eating that much and have really not been at the ice cream or chocolate but I am trying to tell myself it's because I have a large bump already and not panic. I hated losing the baby weight with DS, it took me over a year.

I have been feeling a lot of wiggles but not a bouncing bump yet, expat. I am really looking forward to that bit.

mariana the bumpology book looks at whether eliminating foods like dairy from the mother's diet made any difference to colic and crying and there was no evidence it did. I can't remember the details and you may want to do it anyway but I thought I would mention it.

I've had a fun but very tiring weekend with friends over for Sunday lunch. Not looking forward to work, it's very full on at the moment.

Hi to everyone else!

buzzybee123 Sun 09-Jun-13 23:01:16

thanks ladies I do appreciate your support

expat my miscarriages were missed miscarriages so needed intervention sad

spotting and little symptoms, we shall see on Wednesday hmm

buzzy some people spot the whole time due to cervical erosion. If your scan is ok you could ask for a visual exam of your cervix to rule that out. I had it in one pregnancy and it made me feel better to know where the spotting was coming from.

fairy, thanks. I know it's tenuous but I'm trapped now as every time she has a bad attack I think it's because I had a bit of milk in tea in a cafe! I don't really miss milk and therefore it's not too onerous for now, although I'm probably going to go back to reduced dairy at 12 weeks. It seemed from the reading I did that there was a potential connection with cows milk protein, caffeine and citrus, that is suggested by research evidence, although certainly not proven beyond doubt. I have a niece who had a severe cows milk protein allergy, I have a seafood allergy and my sister has a peanut allergy so there's a family history too.

Freecycle is great, I'd be putting stuff on there if I didn't have a conveniently pregnant cousin in need of stuff.

I'm impressed by all the exercising going on too, I will start something in a month or two.

Morning girls

MrsH sounds like you had a lovely weekend with the massage and films. Re exercise once you get into a routine with the DVDs it's not too bad. Bearing in mind that my idea of exercise pre pregnancy was a spin round the ballroom once a week. Which DVDs did you get? Do they have short workouts as well? I find short bursts easier to cope with. Sounds like you are sorted re mat wear. I keep worrying I don't have enough for the summer. But when is it ever really hot for any extended period?

Mariana I also miss cheese on toast. The diet isn't too bad once you get used to it. I just have to be creative. But I also feel trapped by it now so i Understand how you feel there. It's not working but I feel unable to give it up just in case. Hope you had a good day yesterday.

Fairy thanks for the reassurance. Sounds like you had a similar experience with DS. I know we will find a way to cope in the short term. I can't see a way out of the trap of life being expensive and needing to work. Im desperate to move out of London in the hope life will be cheaper and less stressful. But maybe it's the same everywhere and I'm just kidding myself. Re weight gain. I got scales over the weekend and also got abit of a shock. Obviously we are supposed to be gaining weight but I haven't owned scales for 20 years after having ishoos like many teenage girls. Seeing the numbers rising brings back memories of that so I'm having to not panic and keep noting that it will rise steadily. When did your wiggles start? I'm 17+5 and haven't felt anything.

Buzzy I'm sorry about the spotting. Only 2 more sleeps til your scan. Everything crossed for you.

Hello to everyone else.

I soooo don't want to go to work today. I'm telling myself that I'm doing it for shazlett so that I can save and we can be together for longer when she is here.
Slept really badly. Keep how are you getting on with your cushion? Are you sleeping better?

shazza i was feeling a bit of wiggling at 17 weeks but you feel it earlier with your second baby because your abdominal wall is thinner and you know what it feels like. It was very occasional though, not really definite until 20 weeks.

I understand the weight gain shock. To be honest, after I stepped on the scales I immediately started telling myself - must cut out cheese, no bread, etc all the usual self-berating and restricting I pledge and then fail to do when I am feeling overweight. But it's even less sensible and feasible when pregnant. With DS I stopped weighing myself once I had gained 2 stone and didn't weigh myself again until 2 weeks after giving birth. So I really don't know how much I put on in total but it didn't feel like that much after that point. There really is no point in weighing yourself a lot when pregnant and it only torments you if you are that way inclined. In my case it was not helped by my mother telling me (in a well meaning way, she was trying to reassure me) that she lost her baby weight with each of her children within 6 months no problem. I didn't and felt worse because I had hoped to be like her. It really is an individual thing. Just try to tell yourself that it is mostly baby plus the necessary to support and feed her once she's born.

buzzy a lot of us on this thread have had spotting, I did at 16 weeks, which freaked me out because I thought I was beyond the stage where it would just happen for no reason. The midwife I spoke to said that spotting happens for many many reasons and it can relate to something that happened weeks before.

Dildals Mon 10-Jun-13 12:49:31

Hi all,

I haven't been as active posting lately, so thought I'd check in. Nothing the matter. Just getting a bit fed up with talking about babies/pregnancies and twins the whole time (not with you personally of course, but just generally, with everyone). It was starting to stress me out a bit, looking at my list of things I need to get/do. I was starting to feel like this was taking over my life, which of course it is, but still, I needed to step back a little to gain some sense of perspective ... if that makes sense?

keep I think you mentioned Tracy Anderson. I am still on the Tracy bandwagon, graduated to Month Five. It is somewhat repetitive but I do feel like I am actually 'doing' something! I also found her post-preggo work out on the Youtubes. I can't find the link now, but if you search it on YT you'll find it. Saves a bit of money. It's quite full on though from what I've seen.

I also saw some comments on weight gain? I put on a stone now, but this is in the 'expected' range for twins. Well. According to tinterweb. I hope I haven't been looking on some American site for that advice!

My wriggling started at about wk 18-19. At wk 21 I could feel little kicks, like elastic bands being popped against your inside. I am pretty sure one has now turned around, because I can feel one kicking at the bottom of my belly. My husband still hasn't been able to feel any of the kicks. As soon as he puts his hand on, they stop! They tend to be most active early morning, when I just wake up. It still takes me by surprise sometimes, these random acts of activeness. God knows what they get up to in there.

I got an email over the weekend from one the twin pregnant ladies that I know (well, know of). She has DCDA twins like me and hers have come out now at 31wks4days. There were no emergency cots available at King's so they did a proper ambulance drive to St Peter's in Chertsey (of all places). They weigh 1.5 and 1.14 kgs. Oh my fucking god. (Surely it is OK to swear in this case) That is so incredibly small. So now I am shitting myself of course that this will happen to us. Horrible.

On prams. We bought the Out n About double pram. And am going to the New Nearly Sale on Sunday morning at JAGS in Dulwich. Hopefully some good stuff. Otherwise I end up driving around SE London every evening to pick up a £5 baby gym etc etc!

Right. Off to do a spinning class. See if I can still hoist my belly on the bike! (Oh, I got lots of comments this weekend in shops 'oh when's baby due?' with an undertone of ... surely it is imminent! :-)

Dildals Mon 10-Jun-13 12:52:36

Oh, and I didn't get any advice on doubling up on folic acid. I am seeing the consultant for the first time on Wed so I can ask? I am toying with the idea of requesting a home birth, just to scare the shit out of them (and securing a midwife for me myself and I, rather than having to shell out for a doula/leave it to whomever is on duty at King's that day - one can always chose to transfer to hospital to a later date!)

keepitgoing Mon 10-Jun-13 13:26:21

Would they allow a home birth for twins dildals? I guess they can't stop you. If so, that sounds like a sneaky plan...

I bet you £100 they will blanch at the request and then forbid it outright!

Fairy I know what you mean about the food pledges. But I'm making a huge effort not to regress by 20 years. You are absolutely right. This is all for the baby.

Dildals lovely to hear you are ok. Sorry you have been feeling stressed. I hope you feel better. It sounds like you have been getting organised with the pram and nearly new sale. That's a good idea. I'm going to check out NCT and see if there is anything in our area.

I'm so envious of the kicks and wiggles. I keep trying to concentrate to see if I feel anything but nothing yet. I guess I've got another couple if weeks to go.

MrsHY1 Mon 10-Jun-13 15:18:05

Hello ladies
Posting in haste as about to go into an important meeting, but got the shock of my life earlier. Sorry for the details (but if I can't share with you, who can I share with). I went for a poo and when I wiped there was a lot of bright red blood. So I looked down in the bowl and it was very bloody. I promptly felt very sick until I wiped some more and established it was definitely coming from the back, not the front. I had this once before, when I worked out I was allergic to ibuprofen, but no idea why it's happening now. I phoned my MW and she has asked me to see the GP if it happens again. I then turned to Dr Google and self diagnosed with haemmarhoids (spelling completely wrong, sorry) or anal fissures. Oh the joy.
Really hope nobody is reading this and eating at the same time.. X

Dildals Mon 10-Jun-13 15:21:48

Shazz there is an NCT sale near us on the 29th of June, but we're on holiday then. And the twin club Nearly New Sale is in Sept! How not useful is that!

ExpatAl Mon 10-Jun-13 15:22:45

MrsH, when you've had your legs akimbo countless times for fertility treatments/scans/rummages, there is no such thing as tmi.

Dildals Mon 10-Jun-13 15:30:00

MrsHY1 you are right, if you can't share it here, where can you! Your google diagnosis sounds grand ... the joys of pregnancy ... hopefully the GP can put your mind at rest.

Dildals Mon 10-Jun-13 15:31:26

mariana my consultant has volunteered in Ethiopia in a maternity hospital so I have a feeling she might be quite down to earth!

Did everyone see that the Harmony test is being trialed in King's and another hospital with a view of providing it on the NHS! Bring it on!

mrshy that's a relief! I'm not ashamed to admit that I have had an anal fissure myself (brought on by being too stressed and not 'taking my time' in the loo (the toddler banging on the door had something to do with it too) ). It healed with some magic cream from the GP but I also had to be very careful not to get constipated. I have been taking magnesium supplements plus prunes since getting pg and that has worked really well.

GinSoaked Mon 10-Jun-13 15:57:32

Just popping in quickly to say mrshy I had something similar a few weeks ago. Well there wasn't loads of blood, more like a few spots and I stressed massively until I realised it wasn't from the baby hole, but rather the result of nasty scratchy work bog roll/piles! I found anusol (great name eh?), clears it up quickly.

Whilst on the subject of dodgy body parts, I'm on my way to the dentists as my wisdom tooth is playing up. I've heard of some connection between MC and dental infections, so thought I'd better get it checked out. Just have to remember not to take my pants off when ushered onto the leather chair in this clinic!

ExpatAl Mon 10-Jun-13 16:13:31

To add to stressy poo moments I freaked until I remembered I'd eaten a ton of beetroot.

Hope everyone is well. I saw that about the harmony test - great news.

What is DCDA?

I was in the original trial for Harmony (twice!) as I was having a CVS. I thought anything that might allow higher risk women to avoid CVS and amnio would be an amazing development.

<polishes Altruistic Badge>

Dildals I hope that doesn't mean she will expect too much from you!

I've never had eating issues really. I never weighed myself when pregnant but mainly just ate what I fancied but took care to get 5 a day and my diet is generally healthy. I put on exactly two stone and I've retained one stone post natally that I think I'll lose without much effort over the next few months.

Eek at the scary blood MrsHY. I have damage from DD1's emergency forceps delivery so have to never get constipated. Lactulose, magnesium, water, fruit, All Bran and vegetables all help.

buzzybee123 Mon 10-Jun-13 17:01:24

dildals I can imagine it does get all a bit much, I go in to work and everyday a very kind colleague asks if things are still ok, would be nice if she asked how my weekend is hmm I haven't got out the first trimester yet, impressed with exercise regime you have going, DH said this weekend, have you gained all the weight you lost this year angry I said not fecking yet but I'll make a big effort this week to do so hmm grin

mrsh the same happened to me, not lots of blood, perhaps I am a bit too forceful with old arse bullets, never TMI smile

well speaking of poo my cat is having a funny five which means she needs to have one grin

Dildals Mon 10-Jun-13 17:16:23

expat DCDA is the type of twins that have their own sac and own placenta. The 'safest' type of twins.

Now that we are on TMI topics anyway. Sex in pregnancy. Absolutely loving it. All vital parts involved in sex are so sensitive and, well, enlarged, I am ready for action in no time. And done in no time too TBH. If only I wasn't so tired!

putthecrispsDOWN Mon 10-Jun-13 17:44:09

Hi all. Seems we've all had a bit of a week. I get exactly what you mean dildals and buzzy, thanks to some loose lips at work almost everyone know and I'd much rather not talk about it all day, work is supposed to be my distraction frm mentalling!

All ok here but went to see my old consultant last week...scan was fine at10weeks now...consuktant was same one fro foetal care that looked after us when we lost dd during my last pg. she did a big cats bum face when she realised we were having twins (in her words) 'again?!'. Tried to explain that IVF clinic told us to out both back in as due to previous cycles failing and the poor quality of one of the embryos it was highly unlikely that both would implant. Hmm. She was quite nice, but just really stressed me out as was very 'realistic' and said things about not planning past 16 weeks/see how we go/at higher risk etc. which we knew, but it is difficult to be told. DH and I are trying to be positive...there's not a great deal we can do now other than taking care of me but I felt really down and as though I should stop looking forward and be a bit more cautious. Felt as though we'd been irresponsible in having 2 replaced despite asking that very question at the clinic. So the promptly stopped thinking/discussing/getting excited about any pregnancy type thing.
She did say itwasnt a huge risk, but as usual I focused on the negatives, typical!

So apologies for the absence, I have been stalking you all from afar though...

buzzy so pleased you saw a heartbeat. Hope weds goes well. dH scans in his job (hearts, not bambinos!) and says early on it is v difficult to get an accurate measurement so hope things work out well as things progress.
mariana I am in awe, you seem to have it all sussed and are a fountain of knowledge! You should write a book for ivf mentallers!
mrsHY that must have been terrifying for a moment! Motherhood brings all kinds of loveliness, doesn't it!
expat v jealous of your bouncing belly, dd1 used to flip all over the place when I had a bath and at 3in the morning. My belly used to look like a light switch flicking on and off. Now she is here she loves baths....and has only just started sleeping through, so I hope the bouncing belly is quiet at night for you!
shazza you seem to have loads of stuff in your area! Is this a London thing do you think? I live out in the sticks (literally...we have a gymkhana every other Sunday and everyone here plays cricket instead of football) and there is nothing! No NCT classes for miles and hardly any groups at all except for sure start stuff which I didn't like last time.
Crisps X

buzzybee123 Mon 10-Jun-13 18:05:06

crisps I think its out of line for people to pass comment on you having 2 put back, Its quite common in IVF its not like you put 3-4 back, my sonographer new a nurse who had 5 put back, now that I would raise an eyebrow at. People need to respect that this was your decision and you looked at all the scenarios possible. Yes there are risks with twins but then I'd say there are risks full stop in pregnancy hmm I'd love to be having twins myself, don't let these people put a dampener on what should be a happy time for you smile

Crisps, I agree, there are risks regardless and I don't think you'd be significantly less worried if there were only one in there.

Dildals - you're the opposite of me. I have never felt less sexy than during pregnancy / breastfeeding. It's like it's just switched off. Poor old DH.

I am a mine of often entirely useless information. I could probably have achieved greatness if my head wasn't full of rubbish!

ExpatAl Mon 10-Jun-13 19:48:24

Every pregnancy is a risk. At least, crisps, they know there is a risk so you'll be getting the extra care you need. Don't let it put a downer on it all. It's still exciting - you're having TWINS!! Gymkhanas bring back happy memories of my childhood. I'd love to live somewhere like that. I've started to feel lots of movement when I go to bed so I hope it's not true that they start to estabish their sleeping patterns at this stage!!

Shazza, my excema is no way near as bad as your hives and I don't have any at the moment. I had it badly when I was younger especially when stressed but I've learnt to never scratch, be careful with dairy and splurge a huge amount on creams.

crisps I had 2 put back as well but only one stuck. I never had any bleeding early on so I imagine the other stopped developing very very soon after ET. I don't think it's irresponsible of you at all given the odds of IVF succeeding. I think I remember you said that losing your twin before at that stage was very very rare so is having twins again really increasing a real risk? Or just increasing an incredibly low risk? Say the risk of the first loss was .001%, even if you are doubling your risk the second time round it still is only .002%. Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I just don't want you to get too worried because your consultant was being 'realistic'.

putthecrispsDOWN Mon 10-Jun-13 21:31:43

I totally get it fairy. At this stage risk is 3%, dropping to 1% next week...so even if I am double the risk which the consultant says I am not, it would only be6% dropping to 2%. Good point well made!

expat and buzzy and mariana the oracle wink you are so right.

Thanks so much ladies. You always know what to say. Wish I had talked to y'all first now instead of having a shitty week <idiot>. Think I will always wonder what if we had only put one back, but we had no more money for more cycles and if it hadn't been successful we would have wished that we had put two back.

I still make myself add a name to my baby names list when I stress out...so it is a now a very long list!

Hello Everyone

Crisps I'm sorry that you are feeling bad and worried. It's natural to be extra worried after all you have been through. I agree with the rest of the girls, you are having twins and that is so exciting. For what it is worth I would definitely have put back at least 2 embies had I got that far. I don't think you are irresponsible, I think that you are thinking of your littles ones and making sure that you get the care that you need. Also it is a shame that someone has gossiped at work and you feel pressure there. A Gymkhana sounds like fun. I head the clip clop of a horse down our street the other day. We live in Streatham, there are no horses. And when I went to look it was the rag and bone man!

Expat Its good that you didn't scratch. I try so hard not to but it is almost impossible. They thought that mine was caused by the stress of TTC but unfortunately that doesn't seem to have been the case. I was reading today that the babies are active when we relax and are still because when we are moving around during the day they are lulled to sleep. So cute.

Mariana I'm afraid that I'm with you re sex. It is getting better but I still don't feel like I did before and that makes me really sad.

Buzzy Your colleague is trying to help and probably doesn't know what to say but unfortunately she is trying abit to hard. I didn't start any exercise until a few weeks ago so don't worry about that. During the first few months there was just too much going on to worry about that as well.

Dildals Great news about the Harmony test. have you met the genius Professor yet :-) I reckon I'm going to go and check out the Nearly new sale on the 29th, thanks for the tip off. Where are you going on holiday? What is your due date? I guess September is too close to risk waiting?

Gin I laughed at the possibility of you taking your pants off at the dentist!

MrsH oh my goodness at your shock! I would have freaked out. But I fear that the way my insides are going during this pregnancy, I could very much end up with a similar experience. Has the bleeding stopped now? I'm unsure about the cream cure. I assume that you wipe it on the outside? Or are we back to bum bullets?

Huge hello and night night to everyone. x

keepitgoing Tue 11-Jun-13 06:04:28

crisps and others with twins - people don't understand the risks, choices and decisions we have to make when we do ivf. You made the best choice on the evidence you had. And twins! It's exciting!! Congratulations on a good ten week scan - you get safer every day.

Omg Mrs that sounds both scary and horrible, poor you...

I have excema on my hand, would usually just put on some steroid cream and it'd be gone in two days, hut its being a bugger. shaz poor you on the hives. I'm still trying with the cushion for sleeping, am maybe a little better, but still usually on my tummy. Sometimes I have no bump whatsoever, others its quite big, so I think its just good.

expat I think you've passed 28 weeks? Yay! Well done you.

dildals what a shock for your friend. How are the twins? That is v small. But unusual to be born that early, right? I thought I heard 36 weeks ac for twins. One week at a time...

To weigh in, I'm with dildals on pregnancy sex. Awesome. will we be disappointed with non preggo sex now..

I just looked at some mat clothes, but they're made for big bumps, hey! Not for me yet. I did tear up, and linger, in the baby clothes but though, but we've not bought anything yet...

I love baby clothes. I've already had to pack away some newborn stuff as the ever increasing Trenchlet has outgrown it.

Shaz, all I can say about the sex is it does get back to normal after pregnancy / breastfeeding which I know seems like a long time for it to be not optimal, but in the whole scheme of things isn't that long. You might not be as bad as me either, you might just be having an off few weeks.

If 90% of people have completely problem free experiences of pregnancy, it's no wonder those of us that don't get all these comments, judgements and misunderstandings. One just has to learn to grit one's teeth.

Dildals Tue 11-Jun-13 11:36:40

Keep 50% of twins are before wk 37. The hospital tends to induce in wk 38. This is all for DCDA twins. The other, more high risk ones, are delivered earlier.

Hi keep have you looked at under the bump or half bump jeans/trousers? I also didn't fill the full on bump ones but the Jo Jo maman bebe ones that I'm sporting as I type are so comfy and I've got plenty of room for growth.

Actually ladies I need abit of advice please. I had abit of a thing with my mum last night after she said that my brother and i should should stop reading books and just get on with it. She said that in her day they got pregnant, had a baby and got on with it. I can see that she has a point and I know I'm worrying alot but I think that it is important to be informed don't you? Also the older generation bang on about their day but things have changed so much. I tried to kindly tell my mum that there is loads of research and information now and that we are trying to learn and do the best we can. I bit my tongue and refrained from pointing out that they may well have got on with it but I spent 10 years on anti depressants and another 10 in therapy and I'd like to try to learn from their 'getting on with it'. Now I'm worried that when the baby comes she and I are going up come to blows. She is great and very supportive but highly strung and extremely easily offended. Anyone got any experience of dealing with 'advice' from mothers or worse MILs?

Thanks. Shazza xx

keepitgoing Tue 11-Jun-13 11:51:56

Oh shaz I bet she fretted too, just doesn't remember it... Why not just keep your research and worrying a bit more under wraps, none of her beeswax what you do anyway. Am slightly worried I'll have issues with mil (she has no daughters) once baby's born, but so far so good. We do live several 000 miles away though...

I've not seen any of those types here, and international postage is expensive. I think I'll manage with my skirts and the Luke for six weeks.

When's your scan shaz? Eek.

Regarding mothers, mine is generally great (these days) but we do have differing opinions over child rearing. I tend to just say 'Well it's all different now as they've done a lot more research in the last 40 years'. Luckily I have worked in child health (and even specifically in parenting) so she does accept I do have some knowledge. Also I get on far better with my mum since becoming a mum myself, you might find that happens too shaz. I'm much more forgiving of what I might once have considered her failings, but still try to learn from them myself.

My 93 year old grandma is a different matter. She doesn't believe in breast feeding and makes comments about it at any opportunity. I just let these go, I'm not fighting with her!

Thanks Mariana and keep. I think im just feeling a bit low today so am more sensitive than usual

Keep my 20 Weeker is 4 July. What about you? I'm trying to ward off a major fret about it. I was thinking that it would be fun to see the baby and was looking forward to it and totally hadn't considered that there would be more checking and the possibility of bad news if something is wrong.

Half hour ago someone else at work said my bump is tiny for 18 weeks. I think she meant it as a compliment strangely but of course I'm now worried that shazlett hasn't developed. There I was thinking that my bump was bigger today. Maybe it was the rice I had for tea last night.

How is everyone else today? Is it only buzzy with a scan this week? How are you doing Buzz?

Here I am with my stats again but it's useful to know. The 20 week scan is a scan for anomalies so it is bound to be potentially nerve wracking. However, 90% of scans show the baby to be ok. Of the ten percent that aren't about half of these anomalies are caused by the more common chromosomal disorders like Down Syndrome (which you've already tested for). So, the chances of any anomoly being detected, even a minor one, are about 5%. Or looking at it the other way it is 95% likely that everything will be fine. That's better than your odds for the Harmony so the chances everything will be ok are very good indeed. (This is what my consultant told me.) Take heart!

Ignore what people say about bump size. It's meaningless, in an hour someone else (with equally as little expertise) will probably tell you how massive you are!

I'm currently feeding Trenchlet in the back seat of my car in a retail park as she won't stop crying while I'm trying to buy Fathers Day cards, birthday presents etc. Now wishing I'd held off until a cafe as she's taking forever and I could at least be eating cake.

Thanks Mariana I love your stats! 95% is good odds and everything had been on so far so fingers crossed it will be ok. I looked at the photo of the girl in my book at 18 weeks and her bump seems to be the same as mine (ish).

I hope trenchlet enjoyed her snack! X

Dildals Tue 11-Jun-13 15:22:52

shaz don't worry about the 20 wk scan, they do check all sorts, but it is fascinating to see the different heart chambers (I got a running narrative by the consultant because he was training someone up), Shazlett's little upper lip, and, the highlight, little feet.

One of my friends told me to stop reading too. But I have the type of personality where I feel much more relaxed if I feel informed. If you are also that type then carry on reading! Having said that, as I mentioned yesterday, I did get overwhelmed with all the information out there. It is easy to feel snowed under with all the reading you 'need to do' before Shazlett arrives. If this happens, I suggest to step away from the books/internet!

On bumps - it is so incredibly personal on how bumps develop. Some people hardly show, some people immediately clap out. Some develop hips and bum to match the bump, some people only grow out. There's really no telling. The lady that I inherited the Asos jeans from has a bit of an eating disorder, it sometimes seems she only eats green apples ... she didn't grow much of a bump and did Military Fitness to quite far in to pregnancy (she went to the gym the morning of her ELCS!) and she delivered a healthy weight baby girl. So I wouldn't be too worried Shazz!

The skin and muscles around my bump feels so tight sometimes, like it is really stretching out. Makes me wonder how in heaven's name it will stretch back to normal again.

I went to see physio today. Turns out I have a bit of a locked SI joint. Something that was an issue prior to pregnancy. Because all the other bits are relaxing this joint was causing an issue with not joining in on the fun. Luckily it seems to be fairly easy to resolve. Pfew. She was absolutely mesmerised by my belly, she kept staring at it!

Dildals Tue 11-Jun-13 15:32:43

On another, money saving, note - I managed to stumble across someone who is selling their Out n About twin buggy. They've only used it a couple of times and are selling it because it doesn't fit in their car. So I am going to check it out and potentially pick it up for £150. Also buying a double breast pump (sterilised) for £45. To buy one costs about £120 and to rent is about £30 a month. So makes sense.

keepitgoing Tue 11-Jun-13 15:39:41

Mine's the 13th shaz... Am trying not to think about it and just enjoy the moment.

buzzy huge luck for tomorrow.

Great bargain hunting skills dildals! I'm glad your problem is easy to resolve. That's funny about your physio staring at your bump are rukas and chaos visibly jumping around now?

I can't believe your friends extreme fitness regime. It is amazing how every bump is different isn't it?

Keep you are only a few days behind me. Budge up, I will join you on the staying positive bus. smile I'm going to try to limit my appts with dr google.

Good luck for tomorrow buzz. I'll be tuning in for news. X

buzzybee123 Tue 11-Jun-13 19:41:12

shazza you just need to remind her that this is y'our baby' in 'your tim' and this is how things are in 'these day' I'd also say that right now you just need to know that you are supported. Its your life and your baby, nothing wrong with being informed smile

I am lucky that
A/ my mother lives on the other side of the world
B/ that we haven't spoken for years, I would struggle to keep quiet about her poor parenting skills hmm

dildals your are the bargain queen grin you shall inspire me to find things cheaper when/if it get to that stage

thanks my scan is in the morning, I'm struggling with the sickness, its lasts from around 7.30 in the morning until about now, its worse during work hours hmm i'm seeing my GP tomorrow, last time she gave me buccastem but they made feel worse

GinSoaked Tue 11-Jun-13 21:04:51

Just popping in quickly to say good luck tomoz buzz - will be thinking of you.

Waves to everyone else

Good luck buzzy, will be thinking of you.

Dildals Tue 11-Jun-13 21:17:12

GUESS who I just bought my double breast pump from!? The author of Bumpology, Linda Geddes ! I have a celebrity breast pump! :-)

The buggy I bought from a girl that I thought was one of the daughters when she opened the door ... nah, she was a mum of two ... serves me right! She was a bit worried I was going to bargain her down, but couldn't bring myself to take money from such a young 'un!

Haha at your celebrity breast pump! How did you find out? Did you tell her you liked her work and had been recommending it to others?

buzzybee123 Tue 11-Jun-13 22:13:29

thank you gin and mariana I will hopefully feel reassured at the end of it

putthecrispsDOWN Tue 11-Jun-13 22:15:13

Good luck tomorrow buzzy. Really hope everything goes well...give yourself the afternoon off stressing to celebrate!

dildals I don't know if that is brilliant or slightly disgusting?! Awesome though.

Dildals Tue 11-Jun-13 22:46:13

Crisps The breast pump is fully sterilised so am happy with that.

Mariana We started talking about pregnancy books and then she mentioned that she'd written a book.

dildals that's hilarious! She must have had twins? Presumably she did all the research and its definitely the best. Is it electric!

buzzy good luck tomorrow!

Back late from a work do in London but feel too wound up to go right to sleep and DH has dared to leave a half finished bottle of Sauvignon blanc in the fridge. I think a small glass for medicinal purposes is justified...

Good luck today buzzy. Have you considered acupuncture for the sickness? Also those sea sickness bands are supposed to help and they aren't too expensive. You might look like you are training for Wimbledon though with sweatbands on.

Dildals that is brilliant! I must read this bumpology book you are all raving about. Especially as I now practically know the writer by means of degrees of separation smile

Fairy you cheeky thing with your little tipple. A lady at work told me that she had the odd glass while she was preggers. And when she first went to her NCT social she was wondering whether to take a bottle of wine and what the host might think of that. When she got there the host opened the door with a glass of red in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Apparently she was French!

I've got terrible constipation this morning (TMI). I've had to get on the bus anyway. I couldn't do any more coaxing and I didn't want to have a MrsH experience. wink on the up side it had made my bump huge!

keepitgoing Wed 12-Jun-13 08:18:05

Nice Poo-bump shaz.....

buzz I'm glad the sickness is back, hope its reassuring. Good luck x

buzzybee123 Wed 12-Jun-13 10:09:59

shazza I have somme of those bands I just keep forgetting them, not sure what i'd say to the patients grin well after doom and gloom chat with MW the scan showed a baby and heartbeat at this stage, feel reassured for now just hope it lasts

keepitgoing Wed 12-Jun-13 10:18:35

Oh yay buzzy!!! That's awesome. How many weeks are you? Try and relax now smile smile hypocrite

ExpatAl Wed 12-Jun-13 12:40:05

Brilliant Buzzy! Stop with the doom and gloom! Yay!!!!

Excellent Buzzy, now try to give yourself a couple of days off fretting.

Buzzy that is amazing news. I'm so happy for you. How exciting. X

putthecrispsDOWN Wed 12-Jun-13 17:11:13

Hooray buzz! I was thinking about you today and hoping all was well. The stats say once you have a heartbeat everything is 95%ok...97% by week 10 and 99% by week 12, so good going! Hope you can have a bit of a chill now and feel a bit more relaxed do as I say not as I do

I had some of the bands but can't say they did much. I have found was 8-9-10 the hardest, although I've been slightly better the last couple of days <tries not to get stressed about less symptoms>. Hopefully we'll be like those textbooks ladies that stop being sick and get all glowy and motherly at the dot of 12 weeks. no fucking chance in my case

GinSoaked Wed 12-Jun-13 18:35:29

Yay that's fab news buzz and I'm pleased to hear that you are feeling a bit reassured. I am beginning to mental again - most of my work colleagues now know and look at my like I'm mad when I say, well hopefully I'll go on maternity leave, fingers crossed it'll be born in dec etc etc. As one pointed out, my bump is now so big there's def something in there! Like you shazz I think today it is particularly big due to iron bowel issues..

Ha ha ha didals at the celeb pump! What a coincidence. I really enjoyed her columns and plan to download her book for my hols. Another great didals tip!

crisps I too found week 10 the worst MS wise. It was constant that week, whereas now I have some largely ok days, with nausea just in the evenings and/or first thing and then the terrible days. The bands didn't help unfortunately, but I got some druks from the dr to get me through the day at work. I was so pissed off that it didn't all disappear at 12 weeks!

I'm 18 weeks today and still waiting for the mother glow to start. What with spots, constipation and trapped wind I don't feel very glowy. I do have nice hair and long nails though! So many people commented on my expanded bump today. I can't win. I didnt tell them it was backed up poo though!

buzzybee123 Wed 12-Jun-13 19:27:25

thanks ladies but I have miscarried at just over 10 weeks so the stats don't offer me comfort, I don't think I'll relax until i'm actually holding a live baby, they did discuss my gas issue again grin I have to remind them that I am on alot of progesterone, it looks like a big storm cloud on the scan, I also saw my lovely GP who is so very supportive, she has IVF twins herself

gin I am sick from morning till I go to bed hmm GP gave me some cyclizine, Aussie at work told me to put a plaster over my belly button hmm I did think he was taking the piss but at the time it did help a bit, the MS doesn't seem to disappear, I also have bad heartburn, GP advised a few days off work to recharge so might do that next week

shazza are yo telling me the 2nd trimester glow doesn't exist hmm I can't keep farting like this at 18 weeks, i will have gassed half the country

keep I am only 7w2d, although I feel I should be into the 2nd trimester by now as it feels like its been forever

Pregnancy makes time stand still.

Same here for worst MS week 9-10. Something must happen then.

No mother glow here either except thicker darker hair. It started falling out as soon as I had her though and now is going lighter. Bizarre.

We had a colic free evening and my god the difference. I sat reading an actual book with her asleep on my lap.

Morning ladies

Mariana that's great. I hope the book was non pregnancy/parenting related!

Buzzy I'm afraid the farting has carried on for me. Possibly not quite as bad but maybe that's because most of it is trapped now! I'm also still burping although no where near as badly as around weeks 8-10. It was really bad then. Quite funny though. prunes were helping with the constipation but I'm not supposed to have them on this low histamine diet so even though I have masses of fruit and veg I still have problems.

I sympathise with you girls suffering from MS and thank heavens that I was lucky enough to escape. Although at the time I was massively fretting because I didn't have any.

The early weeks went so slowly for me but things have sped up abit. Except when you are waiting for a scan. Then time goes sooooo slowly.

Oh and buzzy definitely take some time off if you can. Even if you can't take long a few days might benefit you. And it's doctors orders smile

buzzybee123 Thu 13-Jun-13 08:41:14

morning ladies, I am off today, due to waking up dry retching and a bit of a cold, I shall brace myself for the sickness to get worse then hmm to be honest sometimes I fart with such force I almost propel myself forward blush

Oh buzz I'm sorry for laughing but im picturing a turbo boosted pregnant lady grin

Darn it, sent before I'd finished. Sorry you aren't feeling well. tea and toast and some sofa action with Philip and holly sounds like the order of the day for you. Look after yourself. X

Darn it, sent before I'd finished. Sorry you aren't feeling well. tea and toast and some sofa action with Philip and holly sounds like the order of the day for you. Look after yourself. X

Darn it, sent before I'd finished. Sorry you aren't feeling well. tea and toast and some sofa action with Philip and holly sounds like the order of the day for you. Look after yourself. X

Blinking heck sorry for the triple post. Bloody app playing up. I'll stop now!

buzzybee123 Thu 13-Jun-13 09:01:18

cluster poster wink

keepitgoing Thu 13-Jun-13 09:04:19

I am 16 weeks and def feel better, though not glowing. I am like shaz v lucky to have escaped morning sickness.

buzz I don't think there's been any time slower that 4-7 weeks for me. Then my dh said, ooh, you're 8 weeks already. I was like W. T. F!!! I know stats aren't always helpful, but time passing is... BTW my farting was much better since I came off the prigesterone at nine weeks. I was bum in the air each night for weeks!

al what weeks are you now? I'm dense, but think 28? Woo hoo!

If you end up having a section the farting reaches it's peak post delivery. And I managed to have horrendous trapped wind at the same time.

I'm afraid I was reading 'How to talk so kids will listen' as I'm fighting a losing battle with DD1 and I'm sick of shouting all the bloody time. I've never read a baby book but bloody hell do I need strategies with a three year old.

The last few weeks go deadly slowly too, especially the countdown to finishing work.

We have 8 week jabs and development check today, there will be screaming. Development checks have replaced scans in my life - I dread them finding something wrong. I suspect this anxiety never ends...

buzzybee123 Thu 13-Jun-13 09:30:37

mariana that is what I thought, I will spend the whole pregnancy worrying then I'll have a little human to worry about hmm I haven't thought about how i'm going to get babybee out of me yet head in the sand for now

I am sure once I get to 12 weeks time will move at a better pace,

Dildals Thu 13-Jun-13 10:57:18

The farting got a lot better for me too after I stopped the bullets. I don't suffer with constipation either, lucky I guess. I think I do have what they call the glow, I have this ruddy look about me, not sure it is necessary a good look. The swollen ankles are starting though and the skin on my face is really dry. Apart from that I am not complaining.

buzzy one day at a time ...

I went to see the consultant yesterday. I had to wait an hr before I got seen, next time I take War and Peace in, just to make a point! I had a list of questions I rattled off and as usual I left slightly deflated, I guess because of the info overload or maybe just the magnitude of having to give birth to these babies, I am not sure. Anyway. I just thought I tell you what she told me, maybe of interest for the other twinnos? Good news first. They're happy to give you an ELCS with twins, even if twin 1 is head down, this is mainly in the light of the fact that vaginal delivery ends up with a 40% EMCS rate anyway (!). And of those 60% 30% has an assisted delivery. She told me that for twins 37 weeks is considered full term, so if they make it to 37 weeks then they shouldn't need any neonatal care, which is good. She did say that all ELCS get a steroid injection to mature the lungs of babies. I thought this only happened in preemies. She said that CS born babies often need a little help breathing afterwards because the fluid hasn't been pushed out of their lungs properly (due to the fact they haven't travelled down the birth canal) also they haven't encountered the prostaglandins in the birth canal, which apparently helps with lung function. Mariana did you have this steroid shot? From reading about it I get the impression that the steroid shot is not entirely uncontroversial. I told her I take low dose aspirin but that no one has prescribed that to me. She said that taking low dose aspirin is good practice, although there isn’t sufficient strong randomised evidence available to show that it works. It is definitely not harmful. (NICE recommends taking low dose aspirin when carrying multiples, for who it is the first pregnancy, or over forty, or history of pre-eclampsia etc.) Apparently King’s is starting a trial soon to support the use of low dose aspirin so in five yrs time this may become a standard recommendation. She said low dose aspirin helped (or could help, I should probably say) prevent pre-eclampsia but also intra-uterine growth restriction, because it makes blood flow thru the placenta better. She recommended to stop in wk36. Oh, I also asked why they don’t let you go longer with DCDA twins, she said that there is strong evidence the placentas start deteriorating after wk 38 in twins. So I am happy with that. I asked whether there was anything I could do to prevent premature labour. Answer was no. I also asked about doubling up on folic acid, she said no not necessary. I asked to get recorded in my notes to get some sweeps booked in in wk 37, she thought wk 36 was too early. She did say that it all depends really on how ready the cervix is at that time etc etc, so we’ll have to play it by ear. My next appt with the consultant is in wk 32 so at that point we are going to get serious about birth. I think that was it!

Ah, I also asked her about how much weight I should gain. She said there were no UK guidelines, but there were US ones. She said 'oh I think about 8kgs' ... seriously woman ... singleton pregnancies even gain more than 8kgs, I have already gained 8kgs and it isn't as if I have gone kerrazy.

shazza I am quite curious to see what the bump looks like now!

Wow dildals that is a lot of info for you to absorb. Forewarned is forearmed! I thought singleton weight gain was 8-14kg or something like that. My bump is definitely bigger in the last couple of days. Still not sure if it is shazlett's growth spurt or something else. Shall we have another meet up to compare bumps? It's funny to think that I'm further on now than you and fairy were when we met before. Is anyone else up for a meet up? I wish we could take this show on the road to Bangkok via Belgium and the north of England!

How did the jabs go Mariana? Is that a good book? I saw it in the book shop the other day. Do you think it will be helpful? It must feel awful if you feel you are shouting the whole time. So upsetting for you and DD1. I hope you can find a way to make things work for you.

Keep on the whole I feel ok but I'm still pretty tired are you? I thought energy was supposed to come back at this point but I feel like I'm dragging my ever increasing butt around this week. Also I'm suddenly ravenous. Much more than previous weeks.

How is your day going buzz?

buzzybee123 Thu 13-Jun-13 14:13:15

dildals that is alot of info but useful, even though I am not having twins [grins]

shazzawell I thought I would have a shower as I have to see my osteo later, I then had some more spotting, then headache and cramps, but not going to go freak out well not just yet I have also eaten about 9 bits of bread with beans and cheese already today grin

Buzzy, I think parenting means a lifetime of anxiety. I find worrying about the children more 'normal' than my pregnancy worrying though.

Check up fine, thank god. She was very upset at the jabs but we're having a lazy afternoon of feeding and snoozing to compensate the poor mite.

Shazza, it's very American in tone and language but the overall message is good. I've used its techniques this morning and no shouting. Im also using a reward chart with her which she loves andI recommend it anyway.

dildals, the consultation sounds like it was pretty thorough. Do you feel that they are steering you into an ELCS? No steroids here as CS was at 39(1) so well into full term. Yes, CS babies are more mucousy but if they're also full term they can clear their own lungs. Trenchlet coughed a few times during her first few hours but that was all.

Dildals Thu 13-Jun-13 16:57:10

mariana consultation was thorough because I arrived with a page of questions! :-) I did raise home birth as well, and to be fair, she didn't bat an eyelid! I asked about ELCS myself. I wanted to get a feel on whether this would be something I would need to fight for or whether this is something they'd be happy to accomodate. She didn't steer me either way, it's too early anyway to make any bold decisions.

ExpatAl Thu 13-Jun-13 17:27:31

Hi girls. Had a boring day of training and am completely brain dead.

Just throwing this out in no particular order - re steroids, I had to stay in hosp while having them because they can cause contractions, especially with bigger uterus (ie full time twin belly). Never have heard of having them just for elcs but maybe it's protocol for twins because they are smaller? Studies are def showing that prog supps has big role in preventing prem labour but not shots with peanut oil because peanut oil provokes contractions.

I'll be 28 weeks on Saturday. tick tock tick tock.
We had a scan yesterday and all is good. Cervix 4.9cm - very happy with that.
Buzzy, I understand that you are reluctant to count your chickens and all that, but when you saw the heartbeat yesterday you fell in love and already have hopes and dreams for this baby even if you don't dare to voice them so please try to rejoice. You have no reason to think that history will repeat itself and if it does what will you have gained by being negative? You would still be devastated. There's a baby in your belly with a big fab heartbeat!

The farting doesn't go away. It reduces but gets smellier. Or maybe that's just me.

Glad check up was good Mariana. I am starting to fret about being an actual mum. What if I fill my child with issues? What if I mollycoddle and suffocate them? Should you be strict with table manners or will that give them food issues? Aaaaagh, it's endless!

Good you all give updates of what weeks you're at? I'm losing track. Who's got a scan soon?

I think we are bound to fill them with issues, probably merely different issues to the ones we have ourselves! In all seriousness, I think if you love your child, listen to her and encourage her to pursue her interests you won't go too far wrong. All within some firm boundaries around general behaviour of course!

Tick tock indeed. I think 28 weeks is a big milestone!

SweetieTime Thu 13-Jun-13 18:27:55

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, I have been lurking keeping up to date with all the goings on.

Dildals I am so grateful for your updates. I will make a note to ask my consultant about the baby aspirin. I am keen to have an ELCS, my midwife has already mentioned it, so I am pleased I might not have to fight for it.

ExpatAl wow 28 weeks is a big milestone. I am sure it is normal for the worry to continue once the baby comes along, every step of the way seems to bring up new worries.

buzzy I am hoping to worry less following my 12 week scan but I think I will just worry about my 20 week scan at that point. Good news the scan went so well, small steps is the way forward. Hope you feel a bit better and the cold clears up soon.

Shazza when is the pregnancy glow supposed to kick in? Or is it more of a myth told to pregnant women to cheer them up?

I have my NT screening scan on Monday, I have been seriously worrying about it already. I have also had my first episode of MS today at 11+2, I had thought I had got away without any. I just hope it was a one off, although I was worried about the lack of MS too. I have started weening of my meds so am not sure if they have just masked all the symptoms until now.

Morning all

Thank goodness for Friday!

How you feeling buzz? Are you staying off work today?

Congrats on the check up Mariana. Good news. I think I'll take a look at the book. I know it's early days but like Expat I'm worried I'm going to mess shazlett up from the outset.

I also worry about the effect on me and DP. Will we cope and will our relationship survive the stress? I have a romantic idea of the 3 of us having a happy time together. I hope the reality isn't that I'm constantly shouting and nagging through feeling overwhelmed.

28 weeks expat. Woohoo. That's another goal reached. One day at a time.

Sweetie I was beside myself with worry for harmony and NT scan and now am starting to fret abit for 20 weeks. It's normal when it feels like so much is at stake. But as expat said to buzz yesterday being worried and anxious wont change anything and so we may as well try to marvel in and enjoy every day.

I've noticed that my body hair doesn't seem to be growing so fast. I shaved my legs ages ago and they don't feel stubbly. Also I noticed this week that one boob is bigger than the other. Ive always had small ones and now they are bigger I can see that the left one is racing ahead!

Have a good day.

MrsHY1 Fri 14-Jun-13 08:49:02

Hi all
Pleased to report I've had no more back-end bleeding (delightful). So must have just been one of those things. Thanks for all your kind words!
Buzz, such good news. I hope you can feel a little bit more relaxed now (just a little bit smile) although I take your point re your previous mc, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the next 3 weeks fly like the wind for you. Maybe 'fly like the wind' is not the best choice of language given your trumping issues (I'm also trumping like a trooper)
Gin I've noticed in the past couple of weeks I've dropped the 'hopes' and 'fingers crossed' from my speech, it's now 'will' (if that makes sense!). It helps that someone else at work is the same amount of preggers as me (her due date is one day after mine!!) so we can both look forwards together.
crisps sorry to hear about the sickness. I feel very lucky I've not experienced it myself. Or maybe I'll get it late on in pregnancy to serve me right for thinking I'd escaped!
dildals I'm well impressed you met Mrs Bumpology! Does she live round our neck of the woods then? (Not that I'm going to get my binoculars out and start stalking her).
Shazz I hope the back-up has cleared!
Mariana I hope you had another colic free evening. Weird about the hair. Mine doesn't look any thicker/ bouncier. If anything it's a touch lankier (it's ever so fine anyway). Nice.
Keep I can't believe you're 16 weeks! But of course if I'm 15 then you must be! I know the early stages dragged, but on the flip side it really doesn't seem that long ago that we were nervously posting at 4.5/5.5 weeks respectively...
Hey expat, good news about the scan and the cervix. 28 weeks! Amazing. x

shazz, dildals, fairy, I'd love to meet up with you guys. I'm in sarf east London. Gin might be up for it too. Off on holidays soon but I think a Saturday in July might be free?!?

GinSoaked Fri 14-Jun-13 09:17:02

Morning all! I agree shazz, thank god it's Friday. This is my first full week in the office for ages, as I've been trying to work from home a day a week or take a day's leave and can really bloody feel it!

mariana pleased to hear all was well at the check up. It's interesting what you said about feeling like worrying about the baby is more normal than the pregnancies worries - that is exactly what I said to DH the other evening. Everyone keeps telling us that the anxiety doesn't stop when they are born, but I feel like I'll be in the same boat as everyone else then.

buzz how you feeling today? I've had to have a couple of sick days over the last few months due to migraine and think it's really important to let ourselves recover properly when poorly.

didals all the info is really useful, even though I'm not having twins. I hope you feel a bit more reassured. 8kgs?! Jeeze, I'm sure I've put that on already!

expat 28 weeks already? Wow! The clock is indeed ticking.

sweetie good luck with the scan!

shazz my body hair and nails are still growing like billyo! My hair just looks frizzy rather than nice though. Interestingly my skin has been a lot less spotty since being preggers instantly expects an outbreak Thinks it's cos it's really dry at the mo, but it means people keep telling me I look really well, or do they mean fat?! Someone at work guessed I was 5 months pregnant the other day, eeek! I was only 13+4.... I think it's all to do with where we're carrying them.

mrshy pleased to hear there have been no more bum issues! i couldn't cope with revealing yet another bit of my anatomy to the drs, although apparently that has already been done, when they shoved up some arse bullets during EC <shudders>. Hopefully as time goes on, I'll be able to drop the fingers crossed etc when I talk about the baby.

I'd love to meet up with you please! I'm souf London based too, although also off on hols so not about at weekends until mid July. It'll be ace to meet you in real life and be able to bore on about baybees smile

GinSoaked Fri 14-Jun-13 09:28:55

Ps Does anyone else get what feels a bit like mild period pains below the bump, kind of in the ovary area? I guess there's a lot going on in there at the mo, but I still find it a bit worrying!

ExpatAl Fri 14-Jun-13 10:11:19

Shazza, I have one huge mutant nipple. Getting quite concerned - what if it hogs all the milk! It's not quite the attractive image I had in mind.

buzzybee123 Fri 14-Jun-13 12:50:37

mrsh grin at the flying like the wind

gin I plan to have as many sick days as I feel I need, I feel pretty rough today again, headache and sickness but had something I needed to do at work, but will be leaving early to finish up paperwork at home grin

I live in faux surrey so am keen for a meet up too

Hi doing a sneaky check in at work.

MrsH good news re bleeding.

Gin I had those pains. I think they are round ligament pains and are normal if a little worrying when they happen. It was bad for me about a week or so ago but has eased off. I still get the odd twinge. Does your bump fluctuate? I saw pics the other day if different ways babies can be 'carried'. The difference in shape and position of bumps was remarkable.

Expat the wayward nipple sounds disconcerting. If you are unduly concerned I guess you could get it checked.

So a meet could be
Me
Gin
MrsH
Buzzy
Dildals
Fairy
Noks who is also near London

Have I missed anyone near London? Crisps and sweetie I think you are north aren't you? With Mariana? Maybe you could have a northern get together and we could Skype in!

I'm sorry if Ive forgotten anyone. Expat and keep you will be missed. hmm

So what about a Saturday towards the end of July. Will you all be back from hols? 27th?

MrsHY1 Fri 14-Jun-13 15:43:02

Hello
Count me in as another one with the occasional pelvic/ovarian twinge gin and shazza - I mentioned this to someone and they mentioned round ligament pain too. I notice it when I'm up and about, but not sat down.
Currently 20th and 27th fine for me - but the inlaws will be landing for one of those weekends! I will try and find out which this weekend smile

Dildals Fri 14-Jun-13 15:56:54

My mum is over on the weekend of the 27th of July and we are touring Dorset with the in-laws motor home the weekend before (20th)! (because I will be too big to go on plane and don't want to either - I am going to travel with a mental map of all neonatal units of Dorset et environs in my head!)

Dildals Fri 14-Jun-13 15:57:37

MrsH yes, she lives in between Herne Hill and North Dulwich station!

Dildals Fri 14-Jun-13 16:00:00

Hi sweetie why are you keen on an ELCS? I think I am with you, but am still feeling like I would miss out of that this great rite of passage of giving birth naturally. Then again ... 40% EMCS rate ... forceps ... epidural ... perhaps it's a rite of passage I should be happy to give a miss.

I could have very happily lived life without ever experiencing vaginal delivery. I believe others find it rewarding.

Your relationship inevitably changes shazza. It's all overwhelming for a while, as if everything's thrown up in the air and then it all settles down again, but things are different as there are now three of you and the baby is the most important for you both. It's fun though, eventually!

Where are you crisps? (I'm Lancs.)

I'm glad you say it's fun Mariana. I do worry about losing what we have. We are very close. Of course that's why we wanted a baby. It would be ironic if we lost that because of a baby.

The 20th or 27th are ok for me. Lets see what everyone else can do. Maybe the 3rd aug is a possibility? I'm hoping to try to get in a holiday beg of aug before I can't fly anymore.

ExpatAl Fri 14-Jun-13 17:02:57

I'm sure you won't Shazza. It will just be a different kind of close. You both will have produced something incredible. I can't wait - have all kinds of daydreams of what it will be like. Probably totally unrealistic!
I was being a bit tongue in cheek about my mutant nipple. It does amaze me though that the body knows exactly what to do and how to prepare for a baby.

My EMCS was miserable and horrible and I was not happy at all when my ob told me I'd need to have a CS this time but I have been reassured by friends that an elective one is massively different and very easy. I still would like to give birth naturally though and feel quite sad about it. Stupid really.

I had lots of twinges earlier and some were definitely period painy - these days I just feel massively pregnant and have to kind of roll out of bed.

Not fair you're all meeting up. Take a picture!

SweetieTime Fri 14-Jun-13 17:26:04

I also get twinges from time to time, especially in bed when turning over. I think it is everything just settling down and making room. Early on the pains were very similar to period pains but now feel more like stretching.

Shazza it is normal to feel like you do but your relationship will change as you all become a family together. I am really looking forward to seeing DH with our DC as I know he will be brill.

Marina I am in Yorkshire so not too far away from Lancs, but too far away for the London meet up.

Dildals I am very fearful of the unpredictability of giving birth, if someone could say it will be X hours, you will have X stitches and need X medication. I think I would be more comfortable. Especially now we are having twins I would hate to get T1 out naturally only to have EMCS with T2. I just want to make sure they arrive safe and sound with the least stress for all involved. It is a really personal choice but I am too much of a control freak/stress head to let nature takes its course.

My Mum said she thought my boobs looked bigger today, I must book an appointment to get fitted for a maternity bra. I am currently wearing my most well washed, softest old under wired bras.

Another episode of MS today, so I definitely think it has caught me up. Bizarrely it is quite reassuring in an odd sort of way.

Hi all- stupidly busy week at work but no disasters thank god. Now have feet up with bottle of no alcohol beer! Whoop!

expat so pleased you have got to 28 weeks. If you don't mind me Asking, why has your dr said you need a CS this time?

dildals I admire your thoroughness with the doctor. I think I must be glowing as well if that is a nice way of saying a bit flushed all the time. How is your SPD?

shazza my DH and I definitely have less time and energy for each other since DS born and I don't feel as passionately for him because my love for DS takes up some of that emotional capacity. But on the other hand, having children together is fantastically bonding and fun. We have been together for 15 years so the single minded ness probably would have diminished anyway. However since having DS we treasure time together in our own that much more.

buzzy gin mrs sweetie- hello!

I am busy weekends of 20th, 27th, 3rd and 10th! sorry! But don't let me stop you from meeting. I don't usually have such a packed calendar.

Sweetie definitely go and get measured. You will be surprised at whet size they will give you. Also they advise no underwires after a while so it's worth going. At first I had room to grow but my boobs are getting bigger now so the bras are being filled out abit more.

Thanks for all your encouragement about relationships. I am looking forward to all the things you say. Like expat I also have romantic ideas about what it will be like. Part of me is just being selfish. Also like you fairy things are already changing through being together for a few years so I guess it's a natural progression.

We have some friends/family who look harassed and strained with each other all the time and I just don't want that. I hope to try to remember to be patient and that we love each other even if things are tested for a while. Then again we have other friends who have 1 DC who clearly love being altogether and have a great time as a little family. I try to think of them and not the harassed ones.

But being harassed is often just the way things are and it doesn't mean you always feel like that. I suppose I mean that it shouldn't be seen as a sign that things are going wrong. As fairy said, having a child together is very bonding, there's only the two of you that love that child in the same way and find your child endlessly fascinating and hilarious. You'll be fine!

Sweetie - I've PM'd you my precise coordinates. We could be near neighbours depending on where you are.

Finally, ELCS is fine. Strange but fine. The recovery is tough for 2 weeks but no worse than a recovery from episiotomy.

putthecrispsDOWN Fri 14-Jun-13 19:46:41

Hi lovelies. Had a right old couple of days...had some seriously strong twingy pains on Wed so started panicking. Got sent to the GP who then referred me on to EPU (although bizarrely at a different hospital to where I am being treated). Long story short...all is well. They were both bouncing around and kicking and waving and all sorts, cried all the way through. 11wks today so should be getting there but just can't shake The Fear yet, not sure I ever will!

mrsHY ms is still here and pretty rubbish. I have had a little more energy lately which has been great but the sickness is a real pain in the foof at the moment, particularly when I'm being sick at work.

shazza and mariana yes I am oop North, in the fields somewhere between Nottingham and Sheffield! I am a bit scared of That London if I'm honest. I'm taking some students down for a huge competition thing in a few weeks and they are laughing at me because I refuse to get on the tube. I just don't like the idea of a rabbit warren under a city full of trains, eek! I have always been a bit of a country bumpkin though, I do like cities, just not ones that a too big to walk out of within an hour or so!

expat I had loads of those pains all through my last pg. I think they are just the days where everything stretches and gets squished. Strange not to associate them with a period though isn't it? I'm sure you aren't huge...have you reached the knicker-lassoing stage yet? grin

Isn't it wierd that we don't know what we all look like?! I talk about you all to DH regularly, but have no clue who anyone is. I might even walk past one of you in That London (although unlikely, I know!) Kind of cool really I think.

Buzzy how are you doing my love? X

<waves enthusiastically at everyone else>

twinklestar2 Fri 14-Jun-13 21:57:52

Hi girls I'm on the eggcellent eggs thread so I recognise some of the names here smile

I'm due to start in about 4 weeks, is there anything I should be doing now to help? I think I eat fairly healthily, I've been drinking lots of water, switched to decaf, running twice a week. We're both on the conception vits. Don't drink during the week but have a couple of glasses of white wine on a Friday night - but not every Friday. OH has a few beers, maybe 4-5 pints but again not every Friday. We don't drink every week.

What do you think?

We're both 34, I've got the all clear, OH has a few sperm issues - sluggish and low morphology that didn't improve eve after 3 months of no drinking sad

Any tips gratefully received.

Scary stuff Crisps but I'm glad you were reassured. The pain thing is tricky as everybody surely gets some pain and I had some quite alarming twinges at times, but nobody warns you of it beforehand. One good tip a doctor told me was that if it doesn't ease off when you lie down and rest, see someone about it. I wonder if twin pregnancies generate more pain due to greater stretching etc.

Hello twinklestar, you sound eminently healthy to me. The only thing I would add is look after your mental health (ironic I know, seeing as there's non stop mentalling on this thread!) Find a good anxiety management method to use, even if it's just playing Tetris on your phone.

I decided to make the 5am feed more tolerable by bringing a flask of tea to bed with me at night. Definitely a good idea but now I want toast too. Maybe I'll have to hide a marmalade sandwich under my pillow?

crisps sorry about the MS it is a truly rotten experience. Mine got a lot better around 11 weeks so I hope you will see improvement soon.

I am not so keen on cities either as I grew up in the countryside. I go to London at least once a month for work and that's enough for me.

twinkle DH had not so good morphology (5%) and started eating a couple of handfuls of walnuts a day before we had IVF. Could be entirely circumstantial but I did fall pregnant and I am now almost 23 weeks. Getting him to eat them was a lot easier than getting him to stop drinking.

buzzybee123 Sat 15-Jun-13 08:56:10

morning ladies

crisps glad things are ok, its frightening though

sweets sorry about the MS

so i've has a migraine for 3 days and cracked this morning and took an imigran as neurologist said I could sad now I feel guilty and think i'm going to kill my baby with it, irrational I know

I just couldn't cope with migraine and constant MS, I don't know what to do about the sickness, i'm in bed with a plaster over my belly button and my travel sickness bands on all ready for wimbledon smile the tablets the gp gave me don't really help, I feel sick from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, i'm now rretching a lot more too, it did make DH jump out of bed this moorning grin clearly he is not keen on the idea of me thowing up on him

twinks I think you are doing all that you can

sorry about the me me me post

SweetieTime Sat 15-Jun-13 09:12:33

Crisps glad all went well at EPU, it must be very reassuring to see them bouncing around. I am not sure I will ever lose the FEAR either. I am learning to live with it. My sickness has only just kicked in this week at 11+2 and I had to be sick at work too which was really grim so I feel your pain. I am hoping this passes soon for both of us.

Twinkle sounds like you are doing everything you can. I think the odd alcoholic drink helps with the stress but can you ask DH to cut down? My DH liked a few drinks at the weekend similar to your DH and it caused lots of disagreements as I felt I was doing everything I could for DH to do very little. We ended up needing ICSI because of the poor quality which DH then felt very guilty for, his previous SA had always been fine up to the most important one. It could have been one of those things and we will never know but I wish he had done everything he could too. Good luck with your cycle and plan some nice things to do in 2ww to keep you sane.

Marina you sound like Paddington but a very good idea to take tea and the odd snack to bed for feeding time. Only fair that you have a snack at the same time as Trenchlet.

Shazza I have friends who have coped better than others when their DC have come along. I think it highlights strains in the relationships that may have already been there but come to the fore under pressure. They have all got over it and moved on as a time has progressed and things got easier.

We are going away to Lincoln for the rest of the weekend to take our minds off the scan on Monday. Neither of us have been before so it will be nice going somewhere different. I just need to get myself going to get ready.
Hope everyone else has lovely weekends planned.

twinklestar2 Sat 15-Jun-13 11:11:59

Thx everyone.

OH has been eating a handful of mixed organic nuts and seeds for ages so we're covered on that one. As for the drinking, from mid Feb to mid May he didn't touch a drop on the doctors advice. When we found out we needed ivf I think he was so pissed off that it had made no difference he started having a few again on a Friday. Last night we discussed both stopping again. I suppose the good thing is that we are working with his sperm from when he'd given up drinking 3 months ago but Ill tell him to stop again.

Thanks for the tips and hope to be joining you soon smile

GinSoaked Sat 15-Jun-13 12:19:26

Just popping in quickly to say crisps sorry about the scare but really pleased to hear all is ok.

Phew, glad the random pains are normal. As someone said, it's hard to dissociate them from period pain.

twinkle my DH has severe male factor, so there was v little we could do to improve it. He did stop drinking, took some special suppliments, ate fruit etc for ivf #2 and ended up with the worst SA he had ever had! However we did the the frostie from that round which is now (fingers crossed) growing away in me! Good luck!

Re meet up, 27 July would be great for me, but could also do 3 aug and possibly 20 July, although that day would be more difficult.

Hope you are all having lovely weekends. Soz for lack of proper catch up!

putthecrispsDOWN Sat 15-Jun-13 20:12:44

Ah thanks ladies, you are all most lovely. The scan seems to have quashed the fear a little for now. Have another one in ten days (nt scan. Next one after that is four weeks later though, don't know how I'll cope! My name is crisps and I am a Fear addict...

twinkle helloo again. I second what mariana said...good mental health can carry you through a hell of a lot. Plan some lovely meals, stays away if you can afford it, treat yourself to some magazines and box sets and make sure you have plenty to distract your brain while it tries to work overtime. I am a huge acupuncture fan too...

buzzy the migraines suck. I had a three day one last week, it was hell. Paracetamol helped, what was the drug the doctor said you could take? I found sunglasses to be a godsend and tried having a bag of frozen peas on my neck worked well in the morning. Hope you feel better soon, after such a long time waiting its rubbish when you can't really enjoy the pregnancy (-although I love being pregnant iykwim).

Went to a party today, where I told a few people (as am huge already!). Felt very strange to tell people and for it to be kind of ok to tell people too. Nice though.

buzzybee123 Sat 15-Jun-13 20:36:26

crisps it must be nice to tell people smile its a triptan but neurologist said ok to take GP said no, paracetamol does nothing for me and I can't take ibprofen confused I honestly thought I was going to die this morning IO felt so ill, felt much better when I had thrown up, my longest migraine has been 9 days, I couldn't stand that, will try the cold peas

Dildals Sun 16-Jun-13 07:16:54

shazza I can only do the 3rd of Aug. The 20th / 27th I am on holiday or have my mum visiting.

fairy the physio found that the left SI joint (or left part of it?) is not not moving as it should. The pain comes and goes though, so I can have a good week and a bad week, it's weird. She's given me exercises and stretches to do, but TBH it is only making it worse! I'll carry on doing them though till I see her again.

Hugs (or bags of cold peas, I have a massive bag in my freezer) for everyone with morning sickness and/or migraines!

I picked up a bag of maternity clothes yesterday for free, when I went to pick them up though, it turned out she was a good deal shorter than me, so lots of her trousers were ankle swingers on me! Goes to show, size 10s comes in different shapes and sizes.

I am struggling at the moment to be honest. I had a wonderful run of sheer joy, glow and happiness between 12 and 20 weeks and somehow now the sobbing hormones have set in. It just sets off. Not much I can do about it. I just let it go, husband is used to it by now. I am going to be a mumzilla. It is not helped by the fact that I wake up at five in the morning and am then exhausted by the end of the day / when the weekend comes. I still try and exercise almost every day, which isn't giving me more energy (which it should) but is taking energy away. I worry about every little thing. About the weather being crap on our holiday (which I am really really looking fwd to), not getting our list done, getting all the work stuff done, what if I can't get a nursery place, general bad parenting from my side, all sorts of issues that I won't be able to sort out (what if they have different sleeping rhythms, what if they bicker the whole effing time etc). All things that really I should be able to work out or work around or keep some sense of perspective when sane. I think that is it, I have lost my sense of perspective. I can't see the wood for the trees.
Yesterday morning I threw the wobbly of all most epic wobblies at DH, although I must say I still think he deserves it. My DH, bless 'm, is a lovely guy, and also incredibly hospitable. Everyone always comes and stays at ours, which is fine, but now that I am pregnant, I want to spend some time with him occasionally as well, and sometimes I just want a quiet night, without people staying (--especially since some of mates are like so incredibly annoying--). So yesterday I am telling him I am so looking fwd to a night in with DH... (I had only seen him on Wed and Thurs night, the other nights he was out on the lash with his mates. He makes time for that of course.) Turns out he had agreed for one of his mates to come and stay on Sat night (he had some conference on Sunday) and another mate to come and stay for a WEEK as from Sat night. I totally lost it. I don't mind them staying, but could I at least get more than 8 hrs notice, so I am not looking forward ALL WEEK to a Sat night in with DH?! And the mate that is staying for a week, he didn't bother to mention it the last TWO weekends he stayed over at ours! FFS. Then there is no winning this argument either, because you can't really say no at that point either, can you. Telling those people they can't stay. He pulled the same stunt on the day we had our seven week scan. Grr still makes me angry now.

crisps and buzzy wow the migraines sound awful. I've only had one twice in my life but the first time I had to have a doctor come and give me a morphine injection. God that was blissful relief.

dildals you sound really tired and no wonder. I've been sleeping really poorly as well, waking up all night and then really early. Worrying about work plus the pg symptoms I've been trying to go to bed by 9 to make up for it.

I also understand re husbands social life. My DH is similarly social but it is slowly diminishing as he gets older and less willing to risk my wrath. I have had to be a complete bitch about it on occasions (ie coming down in my dressing gown at 2 am and demanding they leave NOW!) but he's been pretty good while I've been pg. you are totally within your rights to say no to guests - you are under a huge burden at the moment and need rest and calm. Men really don't understand how pg affects you, they really can't.

buzzybee123 Sun 16-Jun-13 14:55:20

fairy morphine you lucky mare it is back to a constant headache now hmm

dildals You have every right to pissed off, I would be making it clear to DH that they are his friends and he would be looking after/entertaining/cooking for them etc

I am supposed to be going to my inlaws today but just can't face it, feel too weird and eating is such an issue, I like to graze right now

buzzybee123 Sun 16-Jun-13 17:52:18

I have just had some bright red blood sad

ExpatAl Sun 16-Jun-13 18:00:45

Oh no Buzzy. Any chance it could be coming from cervix? Is it a lot?

buzzybee123 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:22:49

I don't feel sick anymore and my boobs are a bit saggy and I 'm having cramps, I'll go to EPAU tomorrow

Dildals Sun 16-Jun-13 18:23:51

If it is just blood when wiping, then you might be ok. I had that too, cervix is really well bled at the moment, making nice cosy bed for baby.

Dildals Sun 16-Jun-13 18:31:48

fairy oh, i think he understands now ... I went absolutely apeshit ... smile if it happens again i won't pay half of the mortgage, see how that goes down. About a month ago he tells me, on the phone, after few pints that he invited his colleague to stay over for 2 weeks, who's inbetween houses. Seriously. It's just the way he is. It'll get better when twins are here ... I reckon are house/hotel will become a lot less attractive to these men when it has 2 babies!

Oh, AND he forgot our wedding anniversary ... He's got quite a lot of making up to do really! smile

buzzybee123 Sun 16-Jun-13 18:50:36

but my boobs aren't sore and I don't feel sick

ExpatAl Sun 16-Jun-13 19:12:29

Oh God, Buzzy, I'm so sorry. It's been such a roller coaster for you. It's hopefully nothing but it must seem never ending for you.

Crikey Dildals, he has a huge amount to make up for! I have been really tired this weekend after a busy week. It must be even worse for you. Make sure you're looking after yourself.

Today I am 28 weeks and 1 day. Woohoo! We were brave yesterday and ordered a pram. I also bought a very cute hooded towel - my first purchase.

putthecrispsDOWN Sun 16-Jun-13 19:15:02

buzzy oh no. You are really being out through the mill by all of this. Is it easing off any? Really hope it is just an over enthusiastic bubba bounding up and down on your cervix. And don't take any notice of symptoms disappearing unless its for over a week...I am dreadfully aick and sore ut have still had random periods of two or three days where I felt great. Hormones are a rollercoatser, not a straight road. Let us know how you get on tmw.

dildals you sound very tolerant! There is no way on earth I would be having people to stay for a few days let alone a few weeks. That is ridiculous! Is your spare room the one that is going to become babies' room? If so paint it, get rid of the bed and pile nappies everywhere. Pregnancy is a very primal thing, I get very possessive about the house and my time and space. I'm very lucky with DH...he still has nights out and so on but wouldnt dream of coming home late/noisily/with a friend. You'll probably be right about the friend ps after the babies. I had a good bit of advice which was to not put makeup on or get out of my pjs if people who tended to overstay their welcome were coming over. Worked a treat!

buzzybee123 Sun 16-Jun-13 19:24:35

crisps my boobs have deflated and don't hurt did that happen to you, I can understand the sickness coming and going

ExpatAl Sun 16-Jun-13 19:34:18

Buzzy, my boobs deflated at around 6 weeks and then came back with a vengeance at around 8/9 weeks. My symptoms were also really erratic. Anyway, only a scan will give you the peace of mind you need. What time does the EPU open?

ExpatAl Sun 16-Jun-13 19:35:33

Well actually, I say that they came back with a vengeance but in fact only for a couple of days and then they didn't hurt for a couple more weeks.

buzzybee123 Sun 16-Jun-13 20:09:06

thanks expat

putthecrispsDOWN Sun 16-Jun-13 20:22:16

Cross posted expat sorry. 28+1 is awesome! Good for you with the pram. Giving you a little round of applause here sat on my sofa!

putthecrispsDOWN Sun 16-Jun-13 20:27:20

buzzy I have erratic boobage (not to mention the fact that I am a 30K!) Some days when I unleash them at night they are the most painful thing in the work, other nothing at all. The veinyness comes and goes too. My bump is the same too...this morning I looked fat, this afternoon huge bump that is really hard and look hugely pregnant. Don't get it at all. I think there are so many things going on that they just change all the time. Especially when you're like us...we're so in tune with our bodies after IVF that we notice every little change. Trusting your instincts is fine...as long as your instincts aren't too pessimistic! I am completely guilty of that one. Really hope you get a good result at the scan tmw. How is the bleeding?

keepitgoing Mon 17-Jun-13 06:16:36

Oh buzzy I'm so sorry about the bleeding. Am crossing everything for your trip to EPAU. Time must be crawling... Remember you lost symptoms last time and all was OK.

dildals I wouldn't stand for that either... I've been less sociable since starting ivf, and that's not really changed now I'm pg... Early bedtimes don't help.

I am SO looking forward to being back in the uk (5 weeks!) and getting our house sorted. Well, first finding a house.... <panics a bit, makes another list, calms down again>.
expat well done on buying a pram, I'm thinking of making one little purchase, maybe some booties or something, to make it seem more real, but maybe I'm chicken.

crisps I missed your drama the other day, poor you. So glad all is OK, and after your twelve week scan it seems much easier I think. My bump is also much smaller in the morning-you can hardly see it- after dinner it's quite big.

Hello girls

Sorry for weekend radio silence. We've had our heads down doing the loft.

Buzzy oh my goodness. How are you today. What time are you going to EPU? Good luck. I'm thinking of you.

Crisps I'm glad all is ok after your scare. I agree it's funny to chat and 'know' each other yet not know each other. I don't know what I would do without you girls. You are all amazing and have made all this so much easier and fun. Although I know that it isn't fun for many of us some of the time.

Twinkle if you are still reading. Good luck with your cycle. Be healthy, happy and I agree try to find time for yourself to be calm and relax. Meditation, warm (not hot) baths. Whatever it is that will help you stay sane. Also while you feel ok try to prepare some food and have it in the freezer for the days when you don't want to spend time and energy cooking. Nice healthy soups, shepherds pie that kind of thing. And cut down on caffeine if you can. Fingers crossed for you.

Mariana I hope 5 am tea and toast is working for you. MIL called DP last night and told him to relish every moment of sleep now. She was making it sound like we will never sleep ever again.

Sweetie. Good luck for today honey. Let us know how you get on. I hope you had a good trip

Gin how are you feeling? Shall we say 3rd aug for a meet up? Is that ok for all those that would like to come? We could have afternoon tea somewhere.

Dildals. Crikey you sound overwhelmed honey. Firstly inviting guests to stay for long periods is not on now. Can you talk to DH when things have calmed down and explain that there are to be no more house guests. You are over 20 weeks pg with twins for goodness sake. A few weeks ago DP just wasn't getting it either and although we didn't have guests he wasn't pulling his weight around the flat. I left the 'what to expect' book on the table with pages marked. The book says that a pg woman is more tired and expending more energy laying on the sofa that he will EVER experience. Even more than a full work out at the gym. DH needs to understand that not only it is simply not possible now for you to be catering for his house guests but that you need peace and quiet and you need to be with him at this crucial, intimate and personal time. Good luck with it.

Secondly re the overwhelm. I understand how hard it is to have the voice in your head pile worry after worry on top of each other until it topples over. It will take abit of willpower but try to break the cycle by tackling one thing at a time and repeatedly reminding yourself when you find yourself worrying about something that is out of your control. Like the weather. If it rains every day you can have cosy times with DH snuggled in the hotel or in cafes reading books. Or you can go for walks in the rain. It doesn't matter. You will be together and that's important. Overwhelm is horrible because it takes away our empowerment so take it bit by bit and then it is manageable. Phew I got abit carried away there but I know this feeling soooo well smile

Expat massive congrats on over 28 weeks. Hurrah! Which pram did you plump for in the end?

Keep exciting times ahead. Do you know where you are comjng back to?

Hello everyone else. I hope you are all ok and had a good weekend. All fine in our camp. Still no movement felt. And apart from my fluctuating bump and inflated boobs I wouldn't know I was pg. I'm still having panicky thoughts about the impact on our lives and am also feeling overwhelmed but am trying to keep this in check (see above).

Good luck to those with scans today. Love x

twinklestar2 Mon 17-Jun-13 09:24:50

Thx Shaz for the tips. I drink decaf anyway but might invest in caffeine free herbal tea just in case.

twinklestar2 Mon 17-Jun-13 09:25:13

Thx Shaz for the tips. I drink decaf anyway but might invest in caffeine free herbal tea just in case.

ExpatAl Mon 17-Jun-13 11:26:26

Buzzy, I'm stalking this thread for news. Hope all is okay.

Shazza, I went for the maxi cosi mura in the end. I really liked the look of the quinny but the basket was very small. The new Stokke is fab with an enormous basket and I was very tempted, but I have seen babies nearly propelled out of the pram when it hits an awkward cobble and 1300 euros before you've bought any extras for the pram is pretty steep for something that will probably have blackberry squash spilled on it at some point.

Twinkle, sorry, I missed your post. You look fine to me. Keep the water up because it will flush the drugs out of your system quicker and help you feel much better. Don't change anything while you're taking the drugs etc - just continue as normal. Wishing you the very best of luck.

ExpatAl Mon 17-Jun-13 11:32:49

Btw, a friend has an uppababy and it's brilliant. It's just hard to buy in Belgium and I wanted to be able to take back whatever I bought to a shop easily if it broke.

buzzybee123 Mon 17-Jun-13 11:38:25

shazza I haven't even begun to think about how this change my life head in the sand again no one really talks about that when they have a baby

expat Thank you, the scan showed a heartbeat at this stage, I was crying so much they had to stop scanning me as they couldn't see anything with my gut moving, I'm still bleeding but have another scan booked for the 3rd July which seems like ages away, I feel quite numb

buzzy yay! that's wonderful! bleeding is so common, try just to think about the heartbeat. How far along are you?

Dildals Mon 17-Jun-13 12:14:53

shazza YES let's do the 3rd of Aug. If anyone wants to meet up earlier in a smaller group then I would be up for that too! Happy to host as well (seriously, I am ... just don't stay over! ;-))

buzzy hope everything is ok, fingers crossed

expat I couldn't BELIEVE the price when I saw those Stokke prams! I guess it just depends on priorities.

To be fair to DH, he doesn't expect me to cater to his guests. He does all/most of the cooking and washing/drying of clothes. He's quite domesticated. It is just the fact that I don't get asked whether it is OK whereas I am pretty sure I pay half the mortgage.
Luckily the house is large enough, the nursery to be is my walk in wardrobe ... It's just that if I don't fancy sitting on the sofa inbetween DH and his mate(s) (listening to either golf talk, tennis talk or tory talk about taxes) when I am really looking fwd to snuggling up with DH and relaxing.

ANYWAY. On the upside. I went to a Nearly New Sale on Sunday morning (with DH). Came back with a good loot. I am the proud owner of a twins nursing pillow (not owned by local celebrity author this time). The lady had twins too, so she had loads of matching outfits. OMG. I am so going to dress them up the same! They're going to be so CUTE! They have matching set of American Apparel leggings now... haha. I bought a nice big play mat with toys hanging over it, that they can share. I bought a door bouncer, mainly because that looked like lots of fun to ME, not sure whether the babies will enjoy it :-). I also bought a massive bib thing with arms, like a plastic shirt. (DH really liked that, I was thinking 'oh, a bin bag will do that too!'.) For when they start eating themselves. Can also be used for when they take on finger painting (which may have to take place in the garden!). Also bought a copy of the Baby Whisperer for a pound.
Also picked up a bag of mat clothes for free. Size 10. But when I saw here I realised she was about half my size (in length). So now I have quite a lot of work trousers in size ten left over. Any takers by any chance? They are not amazing, but they'll do the job!?

Also called Home Start this morning. They're a volunteer organisation that can help you with multiples, a volunteer will come to my house every week for 2 hrs and help me out, after the twins have arrived, with whatever I need. The volunteer is likely to be a parent too, so she can share some experience or simply put a wash on or talk some sense in to me if I have completely lost it by that point or come along to baby swimming because getting twins in to swimsuits at the same time surely must be an advanced parenting skill.

ExpatAl Mon 17-Jun-13 12:24:59

Buzzy, great news! Do they have any idea of what could be causing the bleeding?

buzzybee123 Mon 17-Jun-13 12:47:58

no idea what is causing the bleeding but they said to expect a bit more,

Buzzy that is amazing news. I'm so happy for you. The bleeding must be a huge worry but at least the bubba is ok. I have a cousin who tells me like it is. She says that she loves DD more than anything but if she'd have known how hard it was going to be she would have reconsidered trying in the first place. And she was TTC for 8 years.

Dildals yes please to trousers! I'm shorter than you so they might fit me. Great to the 3rd aug it's a date. And am also up for travelling over your way before then weekend DIY allowingsmile. Your haul sounds great as does the homestart help. Genius! I'm going to go to the nearly new sale on the 29th that you mentioned.

Thanks expat. I'll look up that pram. The stokkes look so unstable to me.

buzzybee123 Mon 17-Jun-13 17:11:05

shazza I had a cousin like that, I don't know how long she was trying for but she said motherhood was not what she thought it would be, she never striked me as the mothering kind as she was very career focused she went on and had another, I know she had a miserable labour and some complications with drugs ,paraylised for a few hours after due to them??

putthecrispsDOWN Mon 17-Jun-13 17:51:53

buzzy so glad there was a heartbeat. Hope that means that the bleeding is not from the bambino or placenta and is from somewhere else if you get what I mean. Maybe you're just going to be one of those ladies that has lots of bleeds, although I know it must be completely terrifying when it happens. Really hope everything sticks and stays sorted for you.

dildals the people I have met with twins keep telling me that organisation is the key. You are so organised that I'm sure you'll be great! Very impressed by your purchases and bargain hunting, I love buying stuff and preparing but I'm not as sussed out as you are about what to buy and where from! And with regards to DH...mine is also lovely but I do keep recreating that scene from friends where Rachel is pregnant but has a huge shout at Ross, saying he needs to be at her constant beck and call at all times, even if that's unreasonable!

Someone on my street has one of those stokke prams. They are beautiful but I agree they don't look too safe. I had a Quinny last time and loved it. Really easy to put forward or backward facing and lasted forever. The basket underneath is a bit small but we just hung stuff off it if we needed to. I am going to need a beast of a pram for the troublesome twosome!

ExpatAl Mon 17-Jun-13 19:02:27

Hi all.

Re. the never would have done it if I'd known what it entails thing. I have a fear that I'll have gone through all of this and it won't be what I thought and I'll be a terrible mum.

My friend with twins has a schedule on the fridge and sticks to it religiously. When you visit you're handed a baby and a nappy or bowl of food. They are beyond cute - two little blond boys. They're very cuddly and relaxed because they're used to random people holding them. I won't lie - both parents look bone weary but blissed out. It's a fabulous thing. Am soooo jealous.

I looked at the twin prams and thought of you ladies. Every outing is going to be a major work out! You'll never need a gym again but you will need a big pavement. The Maxi Cosi is reversible too and looked the same as the quinny side by side but i do like the way the baby sits up in the car seat. There's so much choice I couldn't focus after a while and so we went for the one that was most comfortable for dh to push. Lucky dh was with me otherwise I would have gone zombie like for the Stokke.

Keep, it must be coming up to d day. How are the preparations going?

MrsHY1 Mon 17-Jun-13 19:02:30

Hello! Not much time to post I'm afraid but:
1) Buzzy, phew, another mountain climbed. Keeping everything crossed that nature cuts you a break very soon!!
2) 3rd Aug for a London meet up sounds fab to me smile
3) I went a bit mental at Westfield yesterday. We are now the proud (if slightly baffled and terrified in case we've jinxed it all) proud owners of a dresser/changing unit, cot bed, wardrobe, buggy with extras, car seat and isofix base.shock

SweetieTime Mon 17-Jun-13 21:13:16

Buzzy so pleased all was ok at your scan, but what a worry to still be bleeding. I hope it all stops soon and you can start to relax.

We had our scan today and all was well, they were both still in there!! They were both measuring a week ahead of my 11+6, I am sure she said one was 13+1 and the other was 12+6. The downs risk came back at 1/17000 so that was such a relief to us both. The twins were wriggling around loads which was really weird to see on the screen but not feel. It is all starting to feel very real now. We have told both our families and close friends so that is it now until 20 week+ scan.

DH is looking at the Bugaboo Donkey but I am not sure and it will be me who has to push it the most. Also it is £££££s which puts me off too although DH says we can resell it. I am going to have a good look around before deciding.

Great news buzzy. I've known a couple of people who bled intermittently throughout pregnancy and no explanation was ever found.

I'm surprised at your cousin shazza. I think the first months are gruelling until you get the sleeping sorted but after that it's busy, but not overwhelming. The absolute love and joy at having your baby more than compensates. Even at the absolute extremities of exhaustion they can still utterly melt your heart with a smile and a gurgle. They keep doing it in different ways as they get older. They're utterly fascinating creatures and brilliant company as they get older.

I have not a single regret but I do miss city breaks and lazy holidays in the sun. DH is away a lot for work and I used to go too if it was somewhere nice. He's off to Italy tomorrow and I'd love to have been able to go too. In time (years probably) I'll leave the girls with my sister and sneak off on the occasional trip with him.

I swear by organisation too. Simple things like not leaving a changing mat in a mess really help. Every nappy change I do I clear up and make sure there are enought nappies, wipes etc there for the next time. I never let the laundry pile up and always clear up straight after a meal. I check milk / fruit and bread levels every morning and do a menu plan for the week. It's not for everybody but it keeps me sane!

I've got a couple of size 12 maternity things on offer, a red sun dress and a grey linen tunic. I'll try to upload photos of them, then anyone who wants them can have them.

Hurrah sweetie, great results!

Gah, I can't upload the photos, I've managed the grey tunic, it was great over trousers and especially when heavily pregnant (originally from H&M). PM me if you're interested in the sun dress (I think I wore it once) and I'll email a pic. It's got thin straps, an empire line draw string tie and is knee length, red cotton (from Mothercare).

Nokkie73 Mon 17-Jun-13 23:17:43

Hi ladies

Just a quick one from me to say buzz am really pleased that things are ok with you. Seeing a heartbeat must have been such a relief. I am really pleased for you and the buzzbean.

shazza 3rd August is ok for me too.

Will do a proper post in a day or so. My bed is calling tonight !

Noks x

Hello girls

Expat your friend and her twins sound delightful. I love the fact that visitors are involved. I looked at the maxi. Looks good. MN reviews said that it wouldn't be good for those who live in a flat though. What do you think?

MrsH what a lot of loot! How exciting. What pram did you get? I'm obsessed at the moment!

Sweetie amazing news re scan. What a relief. And how lovely to be able to share your news with your friends and family.

Mariana you are my inspiration. I've decided not to worry about it anymore. It will be a huge adventure and reading your positive posts makes me excited to meet my shazlett. Great organisation tips. I'm going to need to train DP smile

Nokity Noks you ok? Only 2 sleeps til scan. smile

So the 3rd August is on for the London meet up. Does anyone have any preferences about where to meet? Last time we met in covent garden cause Fairy was coming in from the north. Fairy can you make the 3rd?

I've got the big guns coming in on Thursday to get the decorating marathon started. A whole week with my parents helping is enough to drive me to drink but I'm going to stay calm and remember that it is all in a good cause. There is so much to do we can't do it on our own. There's no way we can start to accumulate baby stuff while the flat is in this state. I'm excited to get it sorted. It's going to be cool once it's all done. I'll host a tea party at mine once we are on mat leave. smilesmile

GinSoaked Tue 18-Jun-13 09:37:54

Morning all!

Yay to 3 August! Somewhere central or south London based would be good for me. Looking forward to meeting you all in RL.

buzz so pleased they found a heartbeat. Must be frustrating not knowing what's causing the bleeding, as well as incredibly scary. Hang in there - it sounds like mini B is a survivor.

shazz I'm super impressed at the decorating. We need to get our arses into gear and get some done this summer. The problem is motivating Mr Gin!

I too am buggy obsessed and keep gawping at them when I pass one in the street! FIL has a which subscription, so he'll be put into action researching them for us after the 20 week scan.

didals I would not be happy if we constantly had people to stay. I feel that at the mo I really need my space and time to just slob out (plus I keep falling asleep on the sofa at 9pm!). It sounds like your DH is lovely and hospitable, but maybe a chat about how you need some time with him may help? My DH and I haven't had much quality time recently, as I'm constantly knackered and in bed or asleep! Shazz's advice was v wise.

How do you f'ind out about nearly new sales?! Your haul sounds great, as does mrshys. I gave in and bought some cute muslin squares the other day. I suspect once I know the gender, I'll go nuts!

mariana impressive organisation! Sounds like it's the key to not being overwhelmed with stuff.

sweetie hurrah for a good scan! And wow sounds like they are big uns! Do they ignore the dating scan and stick with the original DD? I know my hospital stick with the one we got from ET.

Well done on having made the buggy decision expat. I'm totally overwhelmed by the choice. I need a search like you get for insurance, where I can tick what specs I want and it then tells me what to get!

Waves to everyone else. Nothing to report. I wore a soft cup non wired bra yesterday and have the sorest boobs ever today! It was meant to be comfortable... So I'm back in the underwiring today. We're off on hols next week and I can't wait. I intend to be sooo lazy.

buzzybee123 Tue 18-Jun-13 09:38:40

Anywhere is fine with me smile

Dildals Tue 18-Jun-13 11:42:14

buzzy Good news, I had a couple of bleeds too that scared me senseless of course, at the last EPU scan I was crying too with relief and the sonographer said 'look at them, completely unaware of all your worries' ...

ceara Tue 18-Jun-13 21:07:17

Hi all

Sorry I've been so quiet. I carried on having the occasional tiny specks of brown spotting after my 7 week scan so have been keeping my head down and holding my breath some more. I have booked a private scan for next week, when I will be 9 and a bit weeks if all is still well, to find out what is happening. So many people have told me how they bled and still had happy outcomes so I am tying to hang on to my sanity for now, though some days better than others.

Buzzy, great news you are both still hanging in there. So unfair you are being put through the mill like this.

Very impressed by all the exercising and healthy stuff that is going on - I feel very shamed! And by the great bargain-hunting. Something for me to look forward to if/when I get that far.

Hope everyone is doing OK. Sorry too tired for more - having complained of lack of symptoms, the mischief gods were listening and knackerdness and evening retching kicked in on the dot of 7 weeks!

Hope everybody is well.

I think it's one in four or five women have bleeding of some sort and of them only a quarter actually miscarry.

Decorating is such a drag but far better to do it before rather than after the baby is here. I was so mental this time I wouldn't do it and now have three weeks to get it done as I have a big family weekend to host and need that room done so it can be used.

I wish that 5.30 was not the new 7.30 in my house. Luckily my mum is staying so I have help.

Hello girls
All fine here. I'm extremely tired though. I'm hoping I'll have more energy soon. Parental unit arrives tomorrow to kick off decorating.
Hello Ceara. I'm sorry you have had a worrying time. I hope the next scan is ok

Glad you have a bit of help Mariana. I hope you can rest abit.

I feel like it's ages since the 12 week scan and I've got another 2 weeks til 20 week one.

Have a good day. X

keepitgoing Wed 19-Jun-13 12:52:26

Hi, any thoughts? I have dullish pain v low. What is this? Ligaments stretching, have I pulled sth, or is it worrying (it doesn't feel like uterus, too low). Should I fret more

Shaz, two weeks will fly.

Ceara and buzz hope you're both ok.

Will catch up mire tomorrow.

Don't fret keep. It's ligaments stretching.

I hate to say this keep but I had that as part of the whole pelvic girdle strain. It's nothing worrying though but you might be starting to get pregnancy weight related issues.

shazz, I think it only seems like last week you had your 12 week scan - other people's pregnancies fly by!

ExpatAl Wed 19-Jun-13 15:10:02

Yes It's amazing how quickly everyone else is moving along so fast while my pregnancy seems to be taking forever!

Mariana, 5.30 starts with toast and feeding baby sounds really cosy. Am I delusional?

Shazza, I think perhaps the maxi has changed since those reviews as they're quite old. I don't know why it would be unsuitable for a flat unless you don't have a lift but all the travel systems seemed similarly hefty. The folding glitch seems to be fixed too as you don't need to take the wheels off. But then again I haven't used it yet....

keepitgoing Wed 19-Jun-13 16:03:55

But I've only put on 2-3kg so far Mariana...

I know, I keep getting jealous when I read of other people getting to x weeks, then have to remind myself I'm plodding on too! Time is the weirdest thing.

Sadly the toast is only a fantasy! I do take a flask of tea to bed with me though (more evidence of control freakery / obsessive organising!)

Al, it's sometimes to do with the hormones (relaxin specifically) that loosen up your ligaments in your pelvis and elsewhere so it's not always directly weight related. Hopefully it's not and I'm merely gratuitously over diagnosing you!

Morning ladies

Mariana how was your tea this morning? We should start marketing teasmaids to new mums. We could make a fortune! In one way the weeks are flying by i can't believe I'm 19 weeks and nearly half way. I wish I could say that I'm relishing every moment cause it will be over before I know it and I'm afraid ill have missed it in a foggy haze of anxiety. On the other hand the gap between 12 and 20 weeks seems endless. Especially having had 5 scans between 7 and 13 weeks then nothing!

Expat we live on the first floor of a converted house so no lift. The plan is to hang the pushchair on a hook in the porch so the chassis has to be pretty light. I'm just going to have to test lots.

Keep 2-3 kilos is good going. My pounds are piling on now but I still don't know where they are going. Maybe a soft padding all over rather than my bump. My bum does feel slightly more snug in my new mat jeans.

Expat do you think the Pilates is keeping my bump contained?

A very sticky and tossy turny night in London last night. I hardly feel I've slept a wink.

Buzzy and cerea how are you both today? No spotting I hope

Hello to everyone else.

Have a good day. X

keepitgoing Thu 20-Jun-13 09:43:37

Hey all
shaz I know what you mean about 13-20 weeks seeming ages. I too had 4 scans before 13 weeks, and now we're just left. But didn't you have something at 16/17 weeks? I'm going tomorrow and will hopefully hear the heartbeat, which'll be lovely. Have you felt anything yet? I think by 22 weeks most people do, even with anterior placentas. Ask which side yours is on at the scan, it may well be at the front.

mrsHY, my nearly-DD-buddy - how are you doing? Bump noticeable to others yet? Movement yet? I can't believe how much stuff you bought the other day!! We haven't even bought one single thing... Good on you! Bet it was really exciting, and must make it seem a lot more real - much of the time I still think I could be dreaming...

I am really hoping you're wrong mariana about the SPD, but I suppose it would explain it. I've just been swimming and it was actually fine - the worst seems to be when i'm in bed and rolling over, which is weird... I too love the sound of early morning snuggles and tea. But I suppose if you're exhausted, wanting sleep, and doing it every morning then maybe it loses its appeal. I'm glad your mum's being staying though.

If it carries on ask for a physio referral. SPD doesn't always become severe and even mine, which had me on crutches, disappeared the minute she was delivered.

Trenchlet has a foul cold. Poor thing can't breathe through her nose too well so feeding is a challenge. She still too young for Vicks etc so all she can have is nose drops.

Shazza I don't understand why teasmades went out of fashion. I am now wondering whether I should have my travel kettle next to my bed! The early mornings are fine unless DD1 wakes before 6 and wants her breakfast. Then it's not so relaxed...

buzzybee123 Thu 20-Jun-13 11:15:02

Teasmades are great, were on a home visit with a patient and they had one, there was great discussions about who would be in charge of it now the patient or the wife grin

shazza no spotting but not much sickness today going menkul Trying to stay calm, hopefully its the Omeprazole for the indigestion hmm confused

keep I wonder how I will cope from week 13-20 shock its limboland

mariana sorry trenchlet has a cold

I need to wash my hair but when I do I always have a bleed confused maybe I'll just wash it over the bath grin I can't smell that bad surely grin

Dildals Thu 20-Jun-13 11:32:37

I feel like my pregnancy is going really quickly at the moment. 24 weeks already next week.

Any advice on this? ... The twin on the left is head down and is a good little kicker, I can see my bump pop when he kicks (yes .. I know .. I still refer to them as hims .. I know I am delusional ..). The other one somersaulted in to breech and kicks me in the soft tissue downstairs somewhere, which is less noticeable. (I reckon they teamed up and divided tasks. 'You search downstairs, I do upstairs, as soon as we find the exit we're outta here!') Since yesterday morning the left twin has stopped kicking as much though. And now of course ... you guessed it ... I am worried. Normally they have a jailbreak session early morning, late at night and somewhere in between when I am quiet. Yesterday I wasn't in the office and walked around a lot, and it was quite warm, so perhaps that's why Left-Twin didn't really want to exert himself? I have a scan tomorrow morning and Left did give me a few good kicks last night, probably to reassure me, and a few measly ones this morning, so I didn't want to stress everyone out by calling the midwife. What woudl they do anyway at 23 weeks? It is not as if they could 'fix' the problem if there was one? Right? Of course, as would happen, Left Twin just started kicking against the side of my desk ...

dildals, this was one of my obsessions. You're only just at the beginning of when you're supposed to start kick counting so that should be reassuring for a start. I used to lie on my side and count until I'd felt ten kicks. You might not think you're feeling them but when you lie down and concentrate you will feel them.

Hi everyone

Dildals I keep reading how they often fall asleep when we are moving around. They are rocked by the motion. That's probably why slings work so well. So if you were walking maybe leftie is a better sleeper than rightie. I love that they are top to tail with eachother. I wonder if one says to the other 'oi get your bum outta my face!'

Ok girls we are on a bring back teasmades campaign. I actually wanted to buy one for DP a while ago but was surprised at how much they cost. I think I'll reconsider now that my need has come into the equation wink

Buzzy I wonder if washing your hair does bring on the bleeding? Maybe it was an unfortunate coincidence? Having said that I doubt very much that you smell at all so don't worry!

Mariana poor trenchlet. Shame she is also not quite ready for beechams cold and flu capsules. They used to do the trick for me. Might be something to do with the caffeinesmile

Keep you are right. I had a midwife appt at 15+6. Well remembered. So only 3 weeks ago we had a heartbeat. Surely shazlett hasn't done a runner since then? I haven't seen her sneak out in the middle of the night. (I'm sure that's to come in about 18 years from now!). No movement yet. I'll ask where my placenta is I keep wondering if I feel something like little bubbles but it ends up being wind.

The parental unit arrive today. Only 7 days til they go home smile

X

ceara Thu 20-Jun-13 14:21:54

Mariana, sorry trenchlet is snuffly. First time having a cold must be pretty miserable. Hope she's feeling better soon and that she doesn't get rid of it be giving it to you.

Shazz, I see the worry never stops. I thought that for first pregnancies particularly, and if you're fit and healthy (ie can remember having stomach muscles) it's quite normal not to feel movement until 20 weeks or even slightly later. 18 weeks is just an average. I'm sure shazlett hasn't done a runner.

Teasmades put me in mind of my grandma who was in love with hers through the 1980s. But I begin to see how there could be an attraction. That's it, my life is over, I am clearly going to miss the turning into your mother stage and turn straight into my dear departed granny. Next will be an obsession with ironing and cleanliness. It has started....

Buzz, glad you are 50% OK. I have been too scared of cooking the embryo with hot water, so pretty sure I do indeed smell. But leaning over the bath to wash hair hasn't been circumstantially implicated in any spotting yet so I am keeping my hair shiny and self-respect intact. My last bath was the night before I started spotting (to be clean for my trip to the ivf clinic) so I have had it with baths and am embracing an Elizabethan attitude of bathing once a month whether I need it or not. The jury's out on the shower but I'm keeping a close eye on it's behaviour.

No spotting for me yet today (say it quietly). My scan is on Monday. Not sure I want to know, though. I have just found out I won't see the midwife until 12 weeks and after my first NHS scan (assuming we get that far) which bothered me a bit as I'd thought DH and I would get to talk through the antenatal testing choices with her before having to make decisions on what to do. I guess I am too used to being a mollycoddled fertility patient who gets lots of information, hand holding and looking after. Welcome to the real world outside that pampered environment!

Happy longest day of the year for tomorrow to everyone.

ceara Thu 20-Jun-13 14:24:10

Sorry for typos and rogue apostrophes - wretched phone keypad

buzzybee123 Thu 20-Jun-13 14:49:35

ceara you should have your booking in appointment at 10 weeks, I'm still waiting to be told when mine will be, I have a scan booked for around 10 weeks so I assume they will book me in then, should ring and check really. How many weeks are you now

No spotting after hair wash grin although it wasn't my long hot shower that I would normally have,

I am now thinking about how I will cope on my own from week 13 to 20 weeks hmm

ceara Thu 20-Jun-13 15:20:40

I'm 9 weeks tomorrow if it's still hanging in there. I too had thought DH and I would see the midwife at 10 weeks. Apparently round here the booking appt doesn't happen until 12+ weeks; the midwives refer patients administratively for the first NHS scan and antenatal testing before they actually see us. I have to ring in a decision today as to what tests I want. Understaffed and overworked, I think. Good 'ere, eh? And this is the Home Counties, don't you know.

I have, however, been able to speak with a very nice person on the ARC helpline, who talked the tests and choices through with me and was kind enough not to make me feel a neurotic crazy infertile for wanting information and to think it all through - unlike the midwife she "got" that we aren't reassured by small percentages/might never happen platitudes, as our BFPs were those small percentages. Bless her. Lots to talk through with DH after Monday if all is still well. Meantime I will tell the midwife yes to everything whilst reserving the right to change my mind. If we have testing I'm inclined to go to the FMC for the Harmony blood test. Can't believe I am tempting fate by letting myself briefly think beyond Monday, though.

Yaay to no spotting after hair wash.

buzzybee123 Thu 20-Jun-13 15:58:47

thats a bit odd, I was told to MAKE SURE I had a booking in appointment for 10 weeks as they HAVE to do blood tests by then hmm everywhere is different I suppose, where is FMC its near Harley Street isn't it??

When I had my last booking in the midwife kept telling me not to worry etc etc, like I was some loon, so I asked her how many kids she had, she told me none, I thought well how the hell can you advise me when you haven't been pregnant let alone miscarried hmm I found her patronising, the next day my baby died hmm I'm hoping I don't get the same the woman

Buzzy and ceara hurrah for cleanliness and no spotting.

Ceara I'm surprised that you haven't been able to talk through things with midwife. Glad you found someone to help though. I went to FMC for harmony. It is on Harley street and I can't recommend them enough. To qualify for harmony 'deal' of £180 for harmony and NT scan plus another dating scan you must book and go between 10-11 weeks they do a scan take blood give you pics smile. Then you go back in 2 weeks for harmony results and detailed NT scan. They advised me not to have NT scan and bloods at the hospital as well as the results could worry us unnecessarily. So we went for NHS scan but opted out of tests. That was fine with the hospital and the dr there agreed that the harmony is great and said no point in having a test that is 95% accurate when in 2 days we will get the results of one that is over 99% accurate. However she did off the record tell us that all soft markers looked fine and we had nothing to worry about. The harmony was fine the NT scan at FMC was very reassuring AND they gave us a DVD. In fact I ended up having 3 scans cause the first time I went they dated me at under 10 weeks and they didn't want to risk a false result so I had to go back. Best £180 I spent. If you want to go book now cause you will have to go in a week or so.

Buzzy the wait is hard but as keep reminded me you have a MW appt between 12-20 weeks and also all of us to help reduce the mentalling. You had such a tough time before its no wonder you are worrying now. I hope you have a supportive MW this time. No one should be made to feel like a loon. This is an incredibly worrying experience for you.

Ceara I was born like my grandma I think. I've always been abit old fashioned!

ceara Thu 20-Jun-13 17:07:27

It.s really sad you didn't get the support you needed. I think we get spoiled by the understanding and empathy of the fertility nurses (i know i am, the two looking after me throughout have been beyond amazing) and it's a bit of a shocker encountering the real world again. I hope you feel better supported this time. I guess there's an element of luck to getting a midwife who "gets" you.

Not sure what is the big excitement about the booking appt blood tests, as we've had most of them already. I already know (happy happy joy joy) I am rhesus negative, also immune to rubella and don't have HIV or hepatitis. So the only possible big news would be anaemia. (Or syphilis... - but DH would have some SERIOUS explaining to do in that case.) The midwife was adamant scan first, then booking, despite my mild protesting that I thought booking came first, so I would be grumpy if the hospital said otherwise when I pitched up for the scan. If we make it to 12 weeks of course.

The FMC is in Harley Street, shaz I think you said you went there? It was recommended by the ARC, for what that's worth.

ceara Thu 20-Jun-13 17:09:41

SHaz you are psychic. Cross post!

putthecrispsDOWN Thu 20-Jun-13 17:45:28

Hi folks, just dropping in as feel rubbish today...probably because I felt quite good from Mon to Weds and told DH this last night, therefore jinxing it!

Forgive my ignorance but what is harmony? I have my NT scan next week, but is this something else?

mariana I know you're normally the oracle but have you tried one of those snot extracting pipette things for trenchlet ? My Dd had terrible congestion and bronchiolitis at the start and it really helped. Absolutely disgusting though! One of the only useful things my hv ever told me too was to give her her night time feed in the bathroom with the shower on...the steam seemed to help on the bad nights. Hope it improves soon!

noks have you had your scan? How was it? I have cried with fear at every one so far, they don't seem to get any easier. I do enjoy the relaxing hour or two of confidence they give me before I get back to mentalling though grin.

SweetieTime Thu 20-Jun-13 18:23:19

Evening all
Crisps sorry you are feeling rubbish, I am sure you haven't jinxed things. Symptoms seem to come and go I think.

Mariana how is Trenchlet doing, hope she is a bit better. I imagine it is really tough for the little ones when their noses are blocked up when trying to feed. Poor little love.

Buzzy it is very odd how booking in differs. Mine was done same week I had my 7 week scan. I have my next appointment with the midwife tomorrow at 12 weeks. Good news on no spotting post hair washing.

On the teas maid front I remember my Nan had one when we were kids. I remember it being really noisy, gurgling away for ages before the brew was ready. I think it would be a good idea for nursing Mum, although a thermos would be significantly cheaper.

My tummy has been really sore, feels bruised but can not see anything, since my scan on Monday. I thought tummy scans would be much easier than the fanjocams but now I am having second thoughts. I had thought the probe would be skimmed over my tummy rather than jabbed and ground into my back bone, ok I exaggerate but it was quite a rough experience.

We have started looking at buggies, OMG where to start??? DH wants to go for a Bugaboo Donkey even though it won't fit through our front door. I have been recommended a Out n About Nipper, Dildals I think this is what you are considering, by a child minder who lives on our street. Another twin Mum has recommended a Mini City Jogger and I quite like the look of the Oyster Max. I know we have ages to decide so I will continue to check them all out.

GinSoaked Thu 20-Jun-13 18:25:35

buzzy and ceara so pleased to hear there is no spotting at the mo. Buzz I always knew washing hair was bad for us! I really hope you don't get the same MW. Mine just looked at me when I went on about how worried I was, not v useful.

ceara not toooo long until your scan now.

My next scan isn't until I'm 21 and a half weeks. It feels agggges away. I do have a MW appointment at 18 weeks, so am hoping we'll get to hear the heartbeat then.

I know this sounds mental as I'm only 14+5, but I've been feeling flutterings for a few weeks. It could well be wind, but seems to be getting more definite... It's more noticeable if I'm still, or after I've massaged in my anti stretchmark oil. Guess I'll find out later on if it really is movement.

didals it must super scary if one stops moving, but yay for desk kicking! I reckon it's fine to call the MW if you are worried and it's worth it to put your mind at rest.

Poor little trenchlet mariana. Do you have one of those snot sucker things?! I see crisps has recommended one... I honestly don't know if I could use it!

keep how far along are you now? I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's not spd too.

Ahhhh a teasmaid, now we're talking! <adds to Xmas list> I'd love one, even though our house is tiny so it's really not far to the kitchen!

shazz good luck with the 'rents! Just think of all the DIY they're going to do for you grin

I have a consultants appointment next week. Apparently I have to see one, as they won't let ivf pregnancies go over their due date. Have any other ivf singleton preggos been told this?! I'm not sure if it's just my hospital....

GinSoaked Thu 20-Jun-13 18:33:45

X post sweetie waves. We may be getting a 2nd hand bugaboo bee from a friend. I'm quite excited as we couldn't justify the cost of it brand new!

buzzybee123 Thu 20-Jun-13 18:37:10

I just plan to take my green forms from last time as the answers haven't changed I don't know if I would have the Harmony test as the eggs we used were of a 25 year old confused but would be keen for my 20 week with them, do they do reassurance scans between 13 to 20 weeks wink

crisps sorry you don't feel so good

gin I think the reasoning behind not 'letting' IVF pregnancies go over their due date is that because you know for certain the date of conception if labour is delayed after 40 weeks it can't be attributed to wrong dating. However they of course cannot force you to be induced at 40 weeks or at all, it is entirely up to you. I don't see why you need to see a consultant either since you can still just make a birth plan with your midwife that says you will be induced at 40 plus 1 or 40 plus 2 or whatever. I had a friend who did not want to be induced and gave birth at 43 weeks to a perfectly healthy baby. I would probably not want to go beyond 40 plus 2 just because I would go mental at that point!

You could actually be feeling movement at 14 weeks, I think I could that early but wasn't entirely sure until about 20 weeks.

On booking appointments, I had mine at 10 weeks then my NT scan at 13 weeks along with bloods. I discussed the results at my 16 week appointment with the MW. The booking appointment is really more administrative than anything else so there is no reason why they couldn't post pone it until after your NT and bloods. This is not to excuse MW who are not sympathetic or patient when you want to discuss your worries of course. I don't have another appointment with the MW until 28 weeks because it isn't my first pg! I had a scan at 21 weeks and then that's it for those. But I don't feel worried at all as long as I keep feeling kicking and wiggling like dildals.

buzzybee123 Thu 20-Jun-13 19:34:11

shazza sorry so you got your NT scan and the Harmony test for £180 and you had to book for another scan??? Could that be your 20 week scan?? Am I understanding that correctly??? I am now considering it as that is a good deal

X posts with gin and sweets

sweets they really press down on the tummy scans, I prefer good old dildo cam to be honest

gin I'm ready to take on the MW's at my hospital, I already seem to know most of them hmm I like the sound of flutterings, mine will be wind as I'll still be on the progesterone [wind]

I'd forgotten about the snot extractors. I might get one tomorrow if we have another bad night. I was considering sucking the snot out of her weeny little nose with my mouth but thought I might hurt her (that thought alone demonstrates how much I love my baby!)

Scans always feel rough to me. I had bleeding after one once.

I don't understand people who resist induction after 40 weeks. I was desperate to get the baby out by about 35 weeks.

keepitgoing Fri 21-Jun-13 04:04:45

morning all!
gin i'm 17 weeks. I can't believe you're feeling movement already, you lucky thing. I expect it is that, if it doens't feel like farts... I am also getting a free bugaboo bee, so we'll be snap! I also wouldn't have got it for myself.

I find it a bit annoying that they should treat IVF pregnancies differently. Surely now that we're knocked up there is no reason to treat it differently. I just want to be normal... with extra scans I think that this is different across the country - some are made to have consultant care all through, others just regular.

shaz I think you'll find nighttimes out drunken will be before 18 years from now... I have my 17 week appointment today - nervous of course, but possibly less than previous appointments.

ceara good luck for monday. I know it's scary...

buzz glad you got clean, and no spotting. How are you feeling at the moment.

noks are you there? I really hope the scan was ok the other day. 

Morning ladies

Keep good luck with appt today. You'll be fine. You get to hear the heartbeat and that's so exciting.

I'm v jealous of the free bugaboo bees being dished out. I keep coming back to that one. It's titchy and very light. The parental unit are chipping in so we could afford it although my mum has now poo poo'd the idea of buying one on eBay. She has read that some unscrupulous tykes are selling fake ones and all sorts of horrible things have happened. Very worrying. Why would stupid people put babies lives at risk for the sake of a quick buck?

Mariana it melts my heart when you speak about trenchlet. I wish I could meet her. I can't believe that I'm actually going to have a real live babee very soon to love so much. I hope she is feeling better.

Buzz FMC do scans for £100 I think. I had 3 scans there cause I was too early for harmony on the first one. They still only charged £180. But remember to get that deal you have to go between 10-11 weeks. You can have harmony later but it's full whack and I think that's £400.

Fairy. Lovely to hear from you. You ok? Are you around on the 3rd aug? I also meant to ask you if you are still riding your bike?

Gin soooo jealous of the movement. Although now I'm wondering if I'm actually feeling shazlett. I just assume its wind! I've left the Olds to get started today. Hopefully they will have finished by the time I get back smile.

Sweetie sorry you are sore. There is a lot going on down there and all that poking around in a tender area is bound to have an affect. My bro has a single city jogger and likes it although my mum thinks its abit heavy when she looks after his Dd.

Crisps. Sorry you are feeling rubbish. That's pants. Hope it's better today. The harmony test is a blood test to screen for trisomies. It is currently only tested in USA so the blood is taken here and sent there. Results take 2 weeks. It is over 99% accurate. It's tests fetal DNA in mothers blood so I don't think you can do it for twins. You can read about it here
http://www.ariosadx.com/. Although this is the company who invented it so it is very glossy. There is a good MN thread about it. Be warned though some people on there had some terrible experiences with the prof at FMC. I didn't see him. Apparently his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. For me it was fab. My risk was 1:41 with no testing, 1:871 with NT scan and combined bloods but went to 1:10000 with a negative harmony test so I was more than relieved.

Ceara I agree that booking appt was administrative. Apparently dildals was given loads of stuff but I wasn't hmm. I do have a very nice MW though so am lucky.

I feel very loving today. I'm totally in love with DP at the mo although he is a massive clutz. Last night he spent over an hour cooking dinner for me and the Olds and then dropped THE WHOLE LOT on the floor as he was dishing up!

quick question, who was it who said that their council had free nappy samples? Where do I find that on the council website?

Oh and finally dildals where did you find details of the nearly new sale on the 29th? Is it NCT? I can't find it on their website.

That's it from me. Over and out!grin

I lied! just wanted to add that although I don't want to steal Noks' thunder just to reassure everyone that her scan was great. All clear. She texted me.

putthecrispsDOWN Fri 21-Jun-13 08:56:23

Thanks for that shazza. Feel rubbish today so off work, they are a bit hmm at people taking time off when pregnant but I really do feel shocking. Doesn't feel serious though, just a bug type thing I think.

noks if you are lurking have a virtual high five for the scan. Keep thinking of you. I'm 12wks today so you can't be far behind, thought it would feel like more of a milestone but it doesn't yet. Hope you are all well.

Twin people we're thinking of getting a mountain buggy duet if anyone's seen them? Thin enough to go through narrow doors, side by side, can take two maxi cosis too which is so convenient when they are still ickle. Expensive but plan on reselling it afterwards. Any thoughts? Obv won't be buying anything for a good while yet, but planning is fun!

keepitgoing Fri 21-Jun-13 09:04:36

Just to say all is good at my 17 week check. Heard hb, uterus the correct height, urine fine. He wasn't v interested in my low muscle ligament pain, but I think that's improving. I swam yesterday and it was fine.

crisps congrats on reaching 12 weeks. I think you'll feel the NT scan more of a milestone.

Ooh, I bought some baby socks. My one and only purchase till we go home. They look quite big compared to Kip's current size. So much growing for the next 23 weeks <melts a bit>

shaz do these fake prams collapse or summat? I would def buy a second hand one, just check the condition and seller out.

Well done on the scan noks!! smile

keepitgoing Fri 21-Jun-13 09:12:09

Oh and grin at dh dropping dinner shaz! Did you have to get take out?

SweetieTime Fri 21-Jun-13 09:19:00

crisps the mountain buggy is on our list too. on the multiples page and pushchair page there is lots of discussions on double buggies. we are at a similar stage so are only looking too but I am going to do a comparison spreadsheet on the ones we fancy. I am happy to share with you when done

Argh Shazza! Poor DP, did you scrape it off the floor and eat it?!

Good news on the scan Noks.

Good news on less pain keep

Hope you're feeling better soon crisps

I hate buying things like buggies. You dither for ages then order one before suddenly discovering loads of bad reviews! Before I bought my Maclaren there was an incident of one cutting a child's finger off! I still bought it though.

(Trenchlet is such a little love, she's so responsive and smiley now. They really are worth every minute of anxiety!)

ExpatAl Fri 21-Jun-13 11:42:42

So true Mariana. I woke up last night in a panic about whether there's a bar for a toddler to stand on the pram when you have another baby. I'm 42 fgs!! Little Trenchlet sounds gorgeous. These 10 weeks can't pass quickly enough for me! Bleugh at the thought of sucking it out yourself.

Shazza, good plan to hang the chassis downstairs. I suspect slings are going to feature heavily in your life. Poor dp at dropping the food. I know what you mean about feeling loved up. Long may it last!

Brilliant news about your scans Noks and Keep.

Buzzy and Ceara, glad to hear that you're both sweet smelling as well as spotting free. How's it going today?

Crisps, you did the right thing to stay at home. Work will survive.

I'm sitting here with feet and I think bum poking out all over the place. It's quite uncomfortable and the mind boggles at having two in there doing this.

noks yay on the scan!

keep good news on the 17 wks appt and that your ligament pain is improving.

shazza I love your 'loving mood' with DP. You must be getting into the good hormones phase of pregnancy. I have been feeling generally very up beat for the last 6 weeks - I had a major upset at work this week and it barely registered on my sunny consciousness, which is definitely not the normal me!

I am still riding my bicycle and have no problems but Cambridge is very cycle friendly (flat and lots of cycle paths) and I have no heavy traffic to contend with. I cycled up to 3 days before going into labour with DS but that was partly because he was still quite high up then and so it wasn't uncomfortable. Some women find their babies 'engage' quite early and then cycling and even walking gets much more difficult.

mariana your Trenchlet does sound wonderful. I had my first dream where the baby was an entity in it the other night. Someone told me I had had her already but she was somewhere else. I was then in an absolute frenzy to see her but can't remember the weird convoluted explanation as to why that wasn't possible. It wasn't distressing though.

Although I completely understand the desire just to get the baby out by those last weeks, I didn't want to be induced because I wanted to avoid interventions as much as possible and because the drugs they use for induction can result in very strong contractions, which then necessitate an epidural, which can lead to more intervention etc. As it was I went into labour on my due date and still ended up with loads of intervention and an EMCS but that is just how unpredictable the whole business is.

crisps I'm sorry you're feeling rotten but as you say it is probably a bug and not the pregnancy.

All this talk of buggies makes me want to buy a new one but then when I actually go and look at the mind boggling array and prices I break out in a cold sweat and go back to MN.

fairy, I know, I'm being disingenuous really. I suppose as I was induced after my spontaneous labour stopped I have no experience of successful natural labour, so in my experience better an intervention heavy labour at 40 weeks than the same thing at 42 weeks. I am rubbish'at childbirth!

Trenchlet's just screamed her way round Sainsburys to the extent that I forgot most of the things I needed. We are not such good friends now.

mariana :-) I know what you mean. My labour with DS just went on and on and on and by the time I was 10cm dilated it had been 48 hours since my waters broke and DS and I were just too tired to keep going. So when people talk about 'pushing' and the baby just 'popping out' I have no comparable experience. But I am keen to see whether it works this time! My cervix did fully dilate so it should be much quicker this time. But I agree not wanting an intervention filled delivery at 42 weeks so I am planning to arrange that I will go to 40 plus 1 and then have an ELCS.

Sorry re Sainsbury's screaming, if I had been there I would have smiled sympathetically at you.

You should be ok this time, most people are usually quicker second time round and at least you got to 10cm on your own so you know it all works!

Hi girls

Congratulations Crisps on 12 weeks. A milestone indeed.

Keep well done for a successful appt today. Cute sock purchase. I haven't bought anything yet. DP bought a random soft toy that he adores for some reason. It is very sweet. We didn't get take away or eat the dinner off the floor. Luckily we had eggs so whipped up omelettes for all. Poor DP was embarrassed and my dad who is normally a right wind up merchant was very restrained! Re the fake prams. I think that they are poor quality, wheels and bits falling off, fake guarantees etc. all bad news really.

Sweetie. I can't tell you how impressed I am that you are starting a spreadsheet for the pushchairs. A woman after my own heart! I'm going to follow your lead and do the same.

Mariana the horror of a child losing a finger! I smiled at trenchlet in the supermarket. Here we all are, all gooey eyed and then she screams us back to reality grin. It is lovely to think that she is the first of all our bumps to arrive. Funny that by the end of the year there will be a few more to join her. We could make a tv show. Lets get Robert winston <hero worship>.

Expat so cute re feet and bum. I can't wait to feel it. I'm also 42. It's funny to be wondering about things like that. Someone recommended Phil and ted pushchair cause it is good when you have a second one. Mind you he then went on to say that he thought I was 28 and so assumed I'd be having another at some point!!!!

Fairy I wish I could be cycling. I just can't face it here. I asked cause we are thinking of taking a trip with our bikes. I'm used to doing that but not whilst pregnant. The dreams are strange aren't they?

So must confess to texting MW today re worrying about comments about my small bump and no movement. She said not to worry. People love to talk about things that they know nothing about and they don't worry about movement until 24 weeks. She said with your first it is mainly that one doesn't know what to look out for. I feel abit more reassured although following gin's post this morning I've been poking the bump all day hoping to rouse shazlett into action.

First time I started feeling movement at 21 weeks. I was slimmer then with a smallish bump too. It's really nothing to fret about.

Speaking of looking 28. My mum said to me today 'you've got mascara under your eyes' so I ducked into the bathroom to wipe it off. Except no, no mascara, just the alarming dark shadows I've developed, I am haggard. DH is still away, I wonder if I should be asking him to get me some Touche Éclat in duty free.

GinSoaked Fri 21-Jun-13 18:19:30

Just popping in quickly to say so sorry shazz, I really didn't mean to worry you! I bet it is all wind I'm feeling and not baby flutterings at all, as it is so early. I'd have thought bump and when you can feel it depends a lot on how you are carrying it and your own shape. I think I have a sticky out womb, as it tended to make me look preggers when it had AF bloat. Also my bump gets bigger as the day goes on, so it's mostly water retention and wind I reckon! Please please don't worry and certainly don't listen to me and my windy tummy

Waves and happy weekend to everyone else!

Nokkie73 Fri 21-Jun-13 22:00:25

Oh ladies, you are sweet !

Yep, scan was interesting. My child shall henceforth be known as 'Nipper Rascal' or NR. He is SOOOOOOOO badly behaved at scans, it's untrue < strangely proud>. My scan was at 8.35am and when the sonographer started to scan, NR was fast asleep and there was NO waking him up. So, I was dispatched to get breakfast and a hot chocolate to wake his lordship. So, back in I went. He was awake < he likes chocolate for breakfast blush > but wouldn't get into a position where measurements coud be taken. So, the dildocam came out (four times - I fecking kid you not) and it took the sonographer 40 mins to complete the scan. So, I am waiting for the blood tests results but the neck measurements look ok, so fingers crossed.

I am 12+6 today so slightly ahead of you crisps . How the feck did that happen !?

shazza your Love Day was so cute ! Had DP dropped the dinner on he floor, I would have booted his arse around the kitchen.

Hello to everyone else !

Noks xx

Four times with the dildo cam? I'd be pressing charges.

(Glad they got everything in the end!)

buzzybee123 Sat 22-Jun-13 09:24:14

noks great news on your scan smile

Hello ladies

Busy day chez shaz. The Olds and DP have been diamonds and have nearly finished the room that we had allocated a week to do. Looks like I might get the bathroom done as wellsmile

Gin you didn't worry me at all! Having said all I said yesterday I think I might have felt shazlett today. When I was washing up I felt like a light tapping in the front of my tummy. I thought I'd knocked myself against the sink but I hadn't. It must've come from inside. Even as I lay here now I can feel little 'pops'. Very faintly but I think it's something.

Noks I love that NR was sleeping when you went for your scan and you had to go back. That is so funny. The 4 dildocams not so funny though, not for you. At least you got a good result. Fingers crossed for the bloods. When do the results come back?

Definitely get touch éclat Mariana. The government should provide every new mum with one as they leave hospital grin

I hope you are all ok. I'm shattered. I've been cooking and cleaning all day.

Oh new pushchair interest is uppababy cruz. Any thoughts? I also looked at the mutsy Evo which is tiny when folded but the basket is ridiculous. It looks like everything woukd fall out. And just for fun watch the telegraph you tube video on the origami something just for fun. It folds by itself at the touch of a button! It has an on board battery that charges up as you walk. What will they think of next?

Night all. Xx

putthecrispsDOWN Sun 23-Jun-13 08:13:43

noks awesome that you are almost 13weeks. It feels like an age and no time at all since we got diffed! Dildocam sounds about like you were violated but glad all was well. Mine is on Tues, I've already started with the mild panic about whether ther is actually anything in there. I have this odd fantasy that the scan machine keeps showing someone else's baby. Yes, I am slightly strange...

shazza your rents and dP are ace. My in laws are pretty fab despite not really feeding dd when they look after her and are great with helping out when asked. You sound all glowy and nestingy and happy! Your flutterings definitely sound babylike. With dd I remember realising when I felt huge kicks that I'd actually been feeling little ones for ages. I had a kind of squirming sensation when she moved sometimes too, do you feel anything like that?

mariana I have permanently black eyes too from lack of sleep. It's a sign of well earned motherhood, along with a stomach you can tuck in to your pants and the permanent snot stains on your shoulder I reckon. how is trenchlet doing?

sweetie I think we may have been separated at birth. I love a spreadsheet. I even have a mug that says soblush. Please tell me you favour a pastel dolour shading palette in excel? wink

Re puschairs for singleton babies...we had a Quinny last time and we loved it. It put up with a lot and was really flexible. Not too heavy to lift either.

Feeling a whole lot better this time. Have only been sick twice so far this morning and am upright without puking for the first time in days. Hope this is a sign of things to come as was losing the will yesterday. The glow is a long way off but if I can manage to shove my arse round Morrisons to do the shop today I'll be over the moon! Poor DH has been relegated to a week of takeaways, a stroppy threenager and a bomb site of a living room all week while working hundreds of hours, poor boy.

putthecrispsDOWN Sun 23-Jun-13 08:51:57

dildals and sweetie and other twinnie ladies...have you seen www.twinsclub.co.uk ? Have just discovered it this morning...quite a lot of articles and info on twins clubs. Have spent a good hour reading through some of the stuff...it's actually quite positive for a change, as opposed to the premature birth no sleep nightmare that most twins stuff makes me worry about...