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Well. This is a surprise. Pregnant- completely unexpected. shit.

(216 Posts)
shockerama Wed 15-May-13 20:15:13

namechanger- know people on here in RL and haven't told DP yet.

Ironically came off pill in new year because I felt that one day I would forget to take it and get pregnant- decide to go onto the Depo-Provera.

Now I'm only bloody pregnant.

Couldn't understand why I kept putting on weight- despite running and dieting, felt that it was a side effect of the depo.

Last week felt some 'flutterings' in my stomach- over this past week have noticed that my stomach is much 'harder' than usual.

Decided to do a PG test today- BFP.

DS1 is 13 in sept and DS2 is 10 in July-

i was promoted last year and this all just awful timing- life was getting easier with the kids- had visions of DP and I being able to actually 'do couple stuff' within the next few years.

im not 'sad' - just disappointed in myself. Thought the days of sleepless nights and nappies were way behind me.

We can just about afford another baby (just).

Going to GP tomorrow to see if I can get a scan because if I can feel flutterings, I'm clearly not 'just pregnant'.

and I can't even begin to find way to tell my best friend- who is just about to start her 7th round of IVF.

confused

CunfuddledAlways Wed 15-May-13 20:28:45

hope all goes well with your gp, dont forget to mention that you had the jab as i dont know what effect (if any) iit could have

flutterings could mean your 16 weeks+ i would guess??

no idea what you should say to your best friend, cross that bridge when you have seen gp, talked to oh had scan etc....

shockerama Wed 15-May-13 20:34:11

I know -

just shocked.

Wincher Wed 15-May-13 20:41:35

Wow, I can imagine that must be a huge shock. I know there are people on here who have had similar situations so hope someone can offer useful advice.

shelly81 Wed 15-May-13 22:07:41

Same thing here my ds's are 13 & 11 thought my baby days were over my first dd is due in 2 days & can't wait now ... You'll be fine once you get over the massive shock that it is haha x

JollyOrangeGiant Wed 15-May-13 22:16:02

Good luck.

DB and I were similar ages when my DSisters were born. I wouldn't change our family, despite there being a few hard year's.

shockerama Thu 16-May-13 14:34:12

Went to GP today - she then referred me on to see the Midwife. Two lovely midwives there - put me at ease.

I said that I didnt have a clue how far gone I was - only that i had a False test just before having my first depo at the beginning of december. I had my second depo in Feb but didnt have a test done then (obviously both myself and the nurse assuming that the depo would have worked)

Midwives both did palpations. They said they they think im around 24 weeks.

DP hasnt taken it very well. Im not taking it very well- feel utterly sick.

Im gutted that an attempt to be 'safer' has actually resulted in me being pregnant.

24 weeks? Wow. That's quite late to be just finding out, but of a shock I imagine . Hope your ok.

shockerama Thu 16-May-13 14:58:33

Im floored. Just booked a private dating scan for tomorrow to confirm exact date but both midwives felt certain it was around that mark.

Hardly put any weight on, been training for half marathon- still wearing same clothes.

TheSecondComing Thu 16-May-13 15:01:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthOfficialCrispTester Thu 16-May-13 15:02:16

24w what a shick
Do hiu have family support?

Blimey.

In time it will get easier. Give yourself time to get used to the idea.

OhThisIsJustGrape Thu 16-May-13 15:06:36

Wow, 24 weeks shock Must be a huge shock for you, give yourself plenty of time to get your head around it.

We had dc3 when DCs 1&2 were 12 and 8. It was great smile So great, in fact, that we followed with dc4 2yrs later! The older ones love the littlies and tbh, although life would be so much easier had we stuck to the original plan of just 2 DCs, it's been lovely doing it all over again.

Will check for update after tomorrow's scan smile

Bakingnovice Thu 16-May-13 15:17:29

Congratulations, I think. I hope you're not feeling too stressed.

badguider Thu 16-May-13 15:22:28

don't be disappointed with yourself - you were on contraception, this is just one of those things you can't control.

it'll be a big adjustment but when you're ready come and visit the september 13 ante-natal thread. we're very nice. (I'm 24wks today).

Manchesterhistorygirl Thu 16-May-13 15:25:18

That is something of a shock! <--- understatement of the year.

Congratulations.

ThePskettiIncident Thu 16-May-13 15:31:15

I had funny stomach and found I was 24 weeks pregnant as well. Congrats. Hope you manage to settle into it ok. It took awhile, but having watched friends agonise for a full 9 months, I think a 3 month pregnancy feels a little easier! grin

ExhaustedMamasita Thu 16-May-13 15:48:39

OMG! Congratulations! I’m 24 weeks today and can’t imagine not knowing I was pregnant. This is my first pregnancy so my experience may be totally different to you who is going through it for the third time but surely you must have felt some of the symptoms?! If not, wow, that’s amazing!!! I’ve gained a stone since finding out, have a big protruding belly, boobs are bigger, hips wider and I’m more sensitive than ever – emotionally and physically.

I commend you for all that training… despite being a regular gym-goer, I sure as hell couldn’t have done that! Good luck with it all. x

shockerama Thu 16-May-13 16:51:07

Im amazed that I have got this far and not noticed a thing- but all the strange things that i was experiencing (increased urination a few months ago- weight gain etc) I attributed to the depo- but now obviously they must have been pregnancy symptoms.

Just feel a bit lost to be honest- truly overwhelmed. its not the end of the world - I have to keep telling myself this- I'm blessed to be able to have children- my BF is not and I have to remind myself of this when I cry and scream 'SHIT".

Im lucky to be an NHS employee so my Maternity pay will be reasonable- I'm just scared of childcare costs and how this will dent our income.

and how do you explain to your friends and family that you have a baby on the way- in the next couple of months???!!!??

TheSecondComing Thu 16-May-13 16:55:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Charleymouse Thu 16-May-13 16:58:33

Congratulations Shockerama!

Hope DH and you can get your heads round this and work through it. Best wishes on your pregnancy.

WhereMyMilk Thu 16-May-13 17:02:42

Congrats- you will get through this.

Will check back for scan tmrw,x

shockerama Thu 16-May-13 17:02:42

is it easier now than 10 years ago? Please say things have got easier. I was an exhausted wreck.

ginslinger Thu 16-May-13 17:05:41

My third was a surprise with a large age gap. My first reaction was so negative and I wasn't sure that I could go through with it all and my DCs were behaving like I'd done it simply to embarrass them. I have much sympathy for you. It takes a while to get used to the idea but it will work.

TheSecondComing Thu 16-May-13 17:07:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Locketjuice Thu 16-May-13 17:07:19

You will be fine and he will get his round it, don't worry smile

BookieMonster Thu 16-May-13 17:17:49

Wow!
You just need to give yourself a bit of time to get your head around it. Are you ready to tell us who you are yet?!

Smerlin Thu 16-May-13 17:48:27

Sorry for the big shock! There is an 11 year age gap between me and my sister and we get on so well- loved having a really young sister when I was a teenager and all my friends loved her too if it's any small consolation. My brother and I helped my mum loads as well so the work of looking after a baby was shared among more family members if that makes sense!

Wincher Thu 16-May-13 17:52:20

Wow, 24 weeks! I am 23 weeks and this pregnancy has gone on for ever already!

JollyOrangeGiant Thu 16-May-13 19:18:01

Wow. I'm 25 weeks today. You have about 1 week to notify work, op, if that.

Hope you get support to come to terms with this. I can't even imagine the shock.

frissonpink Thu 16-May-13 19:23:01

ooh congrats!

24 weeks - gosh on the big big plus side you don't have to go through the whole 'omg i"ve been pg for bloody ages' thing grin

Once you get your head round it, I think it will be fab. Obviously fate.

ps I'm 39 and have a 6 month old, you'll be fine smile

Wickedgirl Thu 16-May-13 19:24:14

I am 19 weeks pregnant with a "surprise" baby. My others are 14, 12 and 9 so I have some idea about how you feel. Everything was a bit of a blur when I first found out but my family and I are thrilled now that we've had time to get used to it.

Wishfulmakeupping Thu 16-May-13 19:30:16

Like smerlin said big age gap between siblings can mean they are much more accepting and can help a lot more- 15 years between my dn.
Hope all goes ok telling people and you feel settled soon x

GoodbyePorkPie Thu 16-May-13 20:08:59

Wow, congratulations! I'm sure as the days go by you will get used to the idea. But bloody hell - 24 weeks!

Have you told your kids?

Best of luck OP.

RandomMess Thu 16-May-13 20:13:45

Hope your dh is coming to terms with it!!! Huge shock.

My cousin ended up with a 17 year gap between her 1st and 2nd - like you she didn't find out until far too late to consider other options. Had to bring them both up as a single parent too so she never seemed to get any time live her life IYSWIM!

Putty Thu 16-May-13 23:05:28

I know how you feel. My kids are 10 and 7 and thought I had the babyhood thing done and dusted. Also, at over 40 I feel like a silly teenager caught out and should know better. I'm now 34 weeks pregnant, and I am just about coming around to the idea. Like you, the timing is a major pain in the arse for so many personal and financial reasons, but I've been trying to convince myself that I am neither the first nor the last nor the only woman who has got caught out like this, and one way or another I'll cope. The irony is, once the little blighters are born we'll wonder how we ever lived without them. Nature is such a head wrecker...

Debs75 Thu 16-May-13 23:23:47

I had a huge gap between dc2 and 3, 9 years. We thought our family was complete as well. It was a huge shock, found out a 7 weeks at a scan to see if I needed an ovarian cyst removed. If that scan had been a couple of weeks earlier we wouldn't of had dc3.
DP was very shocked and it did take until she was born for him to come round. They are the best of friends now and he dotes on her, as do the elder dc's.
Oh and we also had another one a couple of years later, the pill didn't work for me. That one was a complete and total shock. I only had a scan due to terrible pains and I was 10 weeks. If it wasn't for the pain I suspect it could of taken me months to find out.

Things will be fine, as Putty says once the baby is here you will wonder how things were without him/her. Things are easier later on as well, or they were for me.

CONGRATULATIONS

Locketjuice Fri 17-May-13 12:27:25

Feeling any better today?

Ragusa Fri 17-May-13 12:34:19

Wow, what a shock shock.

Have you had your dating scan today?

Congratulations thanks
It will be fine, and lovely - I hope x

MonstersDontCry Fri 17-May-13 12:42:02

Hope you're okay op. What a huge shock! I'm sure you'll be pleased once you get over the initial shock. Hope the dating scan goes well. Will you be finding out the sex?

Alwayscheerful Fri 17-May-13 12:54:12

Congratulations, it's exciting really, just think in 3 months.....

ghosteditor Fri 17-May-13 13:01:40

What a shock OP - good luck!

Hi OP. I hope you are dealing with this okay.

The same as you, I came off the pill (cerazette) to go on the Nuva-ring as I thought I would be better protected. Used it exactly as it should be used and then one day, didn't feel 'right'. I took a test and sure enough I am pregnant.

I'm now 30 weeks and just starting to get over the shock, I didn't take it very well at all.

Anyway, I hated when people said this to me but it doesn't feel right not to!

Congratulations. smile

FobblyWoof Fri 17-May-13 13:23:22

Wow, what a shock. Hope all goes well at the scan today.

To be honest I think both your reactions are totally normally. At least you're not both surppressing your feelings only for them to come out later on. I'm sure you'll both wrap your heads round it soon

TobyLerone Fri 17-May-13 15:09:18

How was your scan?

shockerama Fri 17-May-13 17:23:02

sorry for the delay in responding today.

Didn't go for the scan- but only because my midwife (God thats not a phrase I thought i would ever use again) phoned me yesterday evening to say she had managed to get me an 'urgent' scan for Tuesday.
The private scan was £80 and i thought for the sake of hanging on a couple of days I could wait and best utilise the £80 elsewhere (high chair, nappies for example)

still feel floored today, hard not to tell anyone (waiting for scan)- we haven't told the boys yet- feel so emotional. Really worried about finances etc. But as DP said - these are all the same feelings that we felt when i was pregnant with both boys.

Im tearful today about telling my best friend. Lots of emotions whirring around.

Currently looking around on the internet to see how I can release some equity in the house to get a new bathroom- currently have a very old shower room (previous owners were in their 80's) - not practical with a baby.

sat and looked at finances last night- thinking about work patterns etc to make it easier to go alongside childcare (i.e. I can't realistically afford a childminder or nursery 5 days a week)

truly never ever thought I would be having to think about these things again. will keep you all updated on scan outcome-

Thanks for lovely messages- I joined Mnet in 2003 when DS2 was a tiny, non sleeping baby. I know that ill get lots of support here smile

Onlyconnect Fri 17-May-13 17:37:52

I recently found myself pregnant against all expectations. DD1 is 8. I knew from early on so ive had a long time to come to terms with it- I'm 27 weeks now. I would say it's been a slow process. I still get moments when I feel hopeless BUT what has changed is that at least now I am very optimistic about what it I'll be like once the baby arrives. I'm sure it'll all be fine and there will be no regrets. I try not to think about night feeds and energy etc,. I'm 45.

Your best friend may be more understanding than you think.

After all your bodies are both being un-predictable about fertility.

Just a thought.

You sound like a very good friend to be thinking of her too.

brettgirl2 Fri 17-May-13 17:49:59

And just maybe her ivf will be successful and you will have babies together, perhaps it's an omen. ...

Figgygal Fri 17-May-13 17:54:27

Cripes op what a shock!! How did the scan go??

xigris Fri 17-May-13 18:05:00

A very similar thing happened to my friend last year: two DSs aged 11 and 10. Absolutely no plans for anymore when out of the blue a BFP. To say she was shocked and upset is an understatement! Fast forward to last November and her DD was born. She's lovely being back to the nappy stage and is now planning a 4th......smile. I've just had my 3rd and it's great having 3. I'm not trying to gloss over your shock, I think to find out you're so pregnant when actively trying not to must be overwhelming. I really wish you all the best and also think you're lovely to be so concerned over your best friend.
flowers and congratulations!

RandomMess Fri 17-May-13 19:28:06

We have a shower room - just get a very big baby bath grin

RandomMess Fri 17-May-13 19:53:33

Introducing the folding children's baby bath for showers www.bibabath.com/

TinkyPeet Fri 17-May-13 21:50:30

Just a note to check whether the private scanners have charged you for not going to the scan, when I had mine I had to pay £30 on booking and the other £50 when there, and if I cancelled or didn't turn up they charged the last £50 anyway. Hope they haven't charged you! Xx

windywoo26 Fri 17-May-13 22:33:51

Congratulations! Hope you are settling into the idea. Just thought that if you are 24 weeks remember you need to give your employer your MatB1 form by 25 weeks so you might need to chase up your midwife. Sorry to be so practical but probably something that will not beat the top of your list of concerns at the mo but could make your life easier if you can get it sorted now.

Wow what a shock! Congratulations. Like others have said, it's so lovely that you're thinking of your friend right now. If she is as good of a friend as you are then I'm sure she'll be happy for you. Good luck for Tuesday x

shockerama Sun 19-May-13 10:15:30

Starting to get more used to the idea now- still shocked and very tearful at times- but suppose thats normal with extra hormones flying around my body.

Looked into Maternity pay from work and as its the NHS for 6 months ill get a fairly reasonable pay but will have to go back to work then- just will not be able to live on SMP.
Nurseries seemed to have rocketed in price since 10 years ago I notice!!

have found a 'room' for the baby- our house is 3 bedroomed but also has a 'box room (but with sloping ceiling) that we use as a study- its not massive but can easily/comfortably fit a cot and some storage shelves (like Ikea stuff) - so this (where I am sat now) will be the babies room for the time being.

This is just weird. I can't believe I'm writing this again!

I can feel the baby moving more at night- its so mad to think that there will be another 'us' in the house around september time.

Right- practicalities though- Ive forgotten everything I need and want to be prepared- what do I need to get between now and september? Apart from a Very Grip on Life.?

(massive thanks for all lovely words btw- I would have been an absolute state without you lot)

LemonBreeland Sun 19-May-13 10:25:58

Wow op just found this. Congratulations! It sounds like you are starting to get your head around it.

Babies don't need much to begin with.

BreeVanDerTramp Sun 19-May-13 10:26:53

Congratulations, hope you are getting used to the idea.

You will need:

Moses basket, sleep suits and vests, breast pads or bottles/sterilisers/milk, nappies/wipes/cotton wool

Pram, bouncy chair, car seat - all this will get you through the first 6 weeks, anything else is an extra.

Your not in NE Scotland by any chance, I'm just about to take everything one could possibly need for a baby to the charity shop this week I'd be more than happy for you to have it smile

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Sun 19-May-13 10:56:51

A sling! And maybe nappies. I swear that's all DS needed <forgotten already<

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Sun 19-May-13 10:59:05

Oh, and congratulations! (Been lurking for rather a long time!)

DowntonTrout Sun 19-May-13 11:54:40

We had DCs 1+2, who were 13 and 9 when I found out I was pregnant with DD2. It was not planned.

Do you know, she has been an absolute joy, she's 11 now and my other two have grown up and left home. I can honestly say that being a parent to her has been so much easier and she is loved (and maybe a tiny bit spoiled) by everyone.

Generally, I have been so much more relaxed, because I was already experienced, the other DCs were able to babysit for us, she has been brought up by the whole family and I have had the time to do stuff with her. The only slight downside was that I did find the tiredness more difficult, being an older mother. It's probably true that I have been a different parent to her, than I was with the other two.

Good luck with everything, I hope your surprise child is as joyful a, and wonderful, addition to your family as DD2 was to ours.

xigris Sun 19-May-13 11:58:40

Good point made by Bree, where are you Shock? we're also sorting out baby stuff now as DS3 is 4.5 months. We have approximately 8million babygroes that we want to palm off find a good home for!

cleverbit Sun 19-May-13 14:53:59

first: congratulations!
second: I don't have much experience with big age gaps as dd1 is only 21 months but I just wanted to say in reply to one of your earlier posts about redoing your bathrom - we have only a shower and have managed just fine. We got a flexibath which we put on the bathroom floor when dd1 was tiny and we now fill up on the floor of the shower so she can splash about without making a mess. There was a slightly akward period when she couldn't fit laying down and couldn't really sit up and we had to shower with her but we're about to have dd2 with no plans for a new bathroom.

shockerama Sun 19-May-13 16:34:58

DowntownTrout- your post is really re-assuring. Thank you - I'm really hoping that the boys help out. Im secretly hoping and praying for a girl (shhh!)

Bree and xigris- bless you both for being so thoughtful in a practical sense! Im in the west midlands unfortunately - but thanks so much for the offer.

Im just off to start a thread about maternity pay in NHS because I'm doing my own head in speculating how much ill get!

shockerama Sun 19-May-13 16:35:33

and cleverbit- thank you also= a bath is now the least of my worries isn't it???!!

xigris Sun 19-May-13 17:05:06

Shock I'm in the NHS too. Before I went on mat leave, payroll sent me a total breakdown of the pay / allowances I'd get while on mat leave. It was really helpful. HR should be able to help you.

RandomMess Sun 19-May-13 17:15:10

Can you start salary sacrificing now to help out with nursery costs?

RhondaJean Sun 19-May-13 17:24:42

Wow. Looking on the bright side, you are having a really short pregnancy - none of that endless waiting.

I just wanted to say congratulations and also, as you work for the nhs, you will probably be able to get Childcare vouchers, which might help a bit with Childcare costs when you get to that stage.

I have to admit I'm a teeny bit jealous..l

shockerama Sun 19-May-13 17:32:39

I can start salary sacrifice now?

ill look into that.

Just measuring up box room for 'furniture/cot'- Ikea is marvellous isn't it?

(getting mildly excited now....)

perplexedpirate Sun 19-May-13 17:35:14

Don't worry about big age gaps. 9 years between my brother and me and we are very close.
In fact I've been on the sofa all day recovering from a night out with him last night.
Good luck! smile

Mehrida Sun 19-May-13 17:54:13

I work for NHSScotland. They have a fab policy where they total up how much you'd get pain over 9 months inc: 8 wks ft pay, 13 wks half pay and 13 weeks SMP.

They then divide it by nine so you get nine fairly equal payments. I found it made life/budgeting much easier to have the same amount each month. The temptation to spend your ft pay in the first two months then you struggle the following months isn't there iyswim.

Maybe your board/trust has something similar. Either way, onto your HR/intranet for your mat policy pronto!

Ps congrats smile

Mehrida Sun 19-May-13 17:57:36

(That was for if you wanted 9 months off, they also did the same for six, but I found it made nine more affordable that we thought it'd be.
)

aftermay Sun 19-May-13 17:58:38

I thought over the counter pg kits only worked till 16-20 weeks?

RandomMess Sun 19-May-13 17:59:45

Can your dh do salary sacrifice as well?

Look for what is selling locally on ebay too, even cheaper than ikea grin

dementedma Sun 19-May-13 18:05:25

Similar story here. Dds were 11 and 9 when Ds was born.
He's lovely but if I'm honest I feel frustrated that I now have 22 and a 19 year old almost independent allowing me some time to start getting a life back......and an 11 year old just leaving primary!
Sorry, that s probably not helping. Good luck.

shockerama Sun 19-May-13 18:24:43

really stupid dumb question but how the hell do I work out the salary sacrifice thing?

I can't make head nor tail of it.

If we both took the £55 per week (maximum)- how much do we sacrifice?

(may sound stupid but I'm flummoxed)

RandomMess Sun 19-May-13 19:19:17

You sacrifice receiving the £55 in your wages but then you don't pay tax on that £55, it goes into a pot that you then pay your childcare provider with.

JollyOrangeGiant Sun 19-May-13 19:25:20

So if you both pay tax of 20% you will be saving in total £22 a week if you both take £55 a week.

(20% of £110 is the tax you would normally have paid on that part of your salaries)

JollyOrangeGiant Sun 19-May-13 19:25:57

And you will have vouchers of £110 a week to spend on childcare.

shockerama Sun 19-May-13 19:32:19

so for a simple person who needs it as simple terms- if my childcare was £55 a week and I didn't have the voucher deal then it would cost me £55 per week-

If I take the vouchers- in 'reality' its only costing me £33 per week- the £22 is saved through tax?

is this correct?

StuntNun Sun 19-May-13 19:39:12

Congratulations! I know you have mixed feelings about the pregnancy but once you hold your baby you will fall in love and never look back. I just wanted to say that I have ten years between my DS1 and DS3 and it makes a huge difference from the the three year gap I have between my DS1 and DS2. DS1 will push the pram, look after DS3 while I'm in the shower, hold him on his lap watching telly, play with him, etc. It all makes things a lot easier.

RandomMess Sun 19-May-13 19:44:50

shockerama, yes your tax bill will have been lowered by £55 x 20%, you don't pay NI on it either.

RandomMess Sun 19-May-13 19:46:39

So only £11 saved on tax I'm afraid

ThatVikRinA22 Sun 19-May-13 19:51:03

wow! just read this - bit of a shocker but at least you have had the horrible first 3 months out of the way!

i wish you well - congratulations!

good luck for the scan on tuesday!

WingDefence Sun 19-May-13 19:55:08

I've just seen this too - the very best of luck! smile

Just seen this having also posted on your pay thread. Our Ikea cot is/was brilliant. It's done two of ours and I think three of friends dcs so far (with different mattresses).

Sleepyfergus Sun 19-May-13 20:42:25

Congratulations! I know it's a shock but here's to a happy and healthy few weeks ahead.

To help a bit with costs, sign up to every baby website going...pampers, boots baby club, all the supermarket baby club, bounty, all the formula and baby food providers etc etc. You will receive lots of freebies and vouchers off nappies, food etc. Very handy! Maybe set up a special gmail account for them as your inbox will clog up and check every now and again. Most vouchers come in the post though.

And ikea is your best friend. Along with gum tree or the dreaded Netmuns for local boards (for sale - prams etc)

Supermarkets now rule the baby clothing world. Really lovely stuff and not too expensive. Sainsburys is my fave.

Best of luck! I'm sure you'll be fine smile

NotSoNervous Sun 19-May-13 20:59:23

Wow congratulations! I can only begin to imagine the shock you must of felt. Good luck for tuesday

OnTheNingNangNong Sun 19-May-13 21:09:39

Congratulations!

My sister is 10 years older than I am, she was amazing when I was growing up, still young enough to play but old enough to help out and be independent- I know she loved having a much younger sister, so I hope your boys will too.

Good luck, hope the next three months are as easy as the first few and hope the scan goes well.

ClocksInALine Sun 19-May-13 21:12:15

congrats

rosiedays Mon 20-May-13 09:27:09

Hi OP, congratulations, i saw your post last week but just didn't have the energy to respond! I got my very unexpected BFP in December, total life changer for me! I have 2 DD age 25 and 22 1 DGD age 2 and another due in october!!!!I really was the girl LEAST likely! I'm now in the final streach (31 weeks today) so much has changed in my life, I've given up work (not that we can afford it but i can't do my job anymore) we've had to totally rethink the next 5 year plan (i won't be sailing solo across the atlantic this year!).I had good days when i thought WOW and very dark days when i could see NO quality of life ahead. i let mother Nature take over and give me the strenght i needed, I can't wait to meet my little princess now. (i cried for weeks & weeks when i found out)
I just wanted to say what an amazing baby you must have, One that really wanted to be born.

re finances, I have been given SOO much stuff.... (and i don't know that many people) i think i've spent about £100 in total and have Everything i need for first 6 months. (maybe will need a few more nappies!!!)

Enjoy your new adventure and remember on bad days........ MNet!thanks

tazmo Mon 20-May-13 15:00:44

My lord - 24 weeks! Amazing.... Congrats though can imagine a shocker. I hope dh comes round soon (sure he will). My dh didn't take the news of a third too well ( had fertility probs so first was ivf ) and I felt soooooo guilty for so long but it takes two to tango as they say. Now we have a 10 month old and she is soooooooo chilled. I have 3 under 5 so it's a challenge. But at least you have a 10 and 13 year old to make you cups of tea and who can babysit soon. Guess you'll have to walk the marathon.....it all worked out and it will for you. I'd love to have more but being 42 and as you say, puts a drain on the finances....good luck!

NotSoNervous Mon 20-May-13 20:01:51

Wow roise I bet that was some shock

ClocksInALine Mon 20-May-13 22:20:54

how are you todsay? smile

NotSoNervous Tue 21-May-13 07:53:00

Hoping all goes well for you today OP

xigris Tue 21-May-13 07:58:35

Morning shock - is today the day of the scan? Best of luck and pleeeease let us know how you get on! flowers

Weegiemum Tue 21-May-13 08:08:59

Congratulations,I just saw this.

I had an unexpected pregnancy while on the mirena 10 years ago (dd2 is 9y6m). She was born 22 months after ds who was 24 months after dd1 - I had 3 under 4, an I'd been recommended he mirena as it was "more reliable" than sterilisation because my kidneys don't cope with pregnancy well.

It was a ghastly shock even though I was only 14 weeks when I found out (thought I had a stomach bug!).

It's kind of the opposite to you, I had an extra tiny whilst you're going back to it. But I can say that now my dc are 13, 11 and 9 we're totally glad we had her and wouldn't be without her, despite me being ill for 2 years following her birth.

I hope the scan goes well, will be thinking of you xx

Congratulations, I hope you enjoy the scan today. Are you going to find out the sex of baby? Bet that will make it loads more exciting once you see the baby and can start planning more.

Have you told your other two dcs? Are they excited too to have another sibling, I hope they are. At least this time around you will have three helpers not just dh!

I wish you lots of luck!

Wickedgirl Tue 21-May-13 09:58:45

Good luck with your scan today

shelly81 Tue 21-May-13 10:28:49

Good luck today OP x

shockerama Tue 21-May-13 17:45:09

had a scan this afternoon. was alone as DP was stuck on the bloody M42.

Im 23+1- all looked fine-

Its a girl )!) apparently although sonographer was firm in stating it can never be 100%.

beautiful little face.,

DP Buzzing- just need to tell boys in a bit (as my eldest has gone for tea at a friends - I couldn't think of an excuse to say no to him!)

Bizarrely - EDD is DS1's Date of Birth.

The midwives all thought it was an amazing story.

Im happy now. beyond happy.

Just need to tell BF tonight about it - so get tearful when I think how I will tell her- but I know she will be fine- and she starts her IVF this month on a different method and at a new (more successful results clinic) so hopefully it will work for her.

thank you all so much

humblebumble Tue 21-May-13 17:54:24

Wonderful news. Congratulations.

DowntonTrout Tue 21-May-13 17:56:03

A little girl! How lovely.

I hope your little surprise fills you with as much joy and happiness as our does for us!

MeDented Tue 21-May-13 17:56:22

I'm sitting here crying at your lovely story. With any luck your friend will also fall pregnant and you can pass all your baby things on to her. Good luck telling the boys and your friend xx

Oh wow a baby girl. A lovely pink surprise bundle. That has made my day, delighted for you.

pearlgirl Tue 21-May-13 18:01:55

Congratulations - so glad you're scan went well. My surprise dc4 is sat beside me and having initially been very shocked about being pregnant I can't imagine life without him and the completion he has bought to our family. We have a gap of 12 yrs between dc1 and dc4 and 8 years between dc3 and 4. Dc4 loves the older ones and they in turn are fab with him and will have some experience of what to expect from a baby before they have their own.

Enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy.

annelid Tue 21-May-13 18:03:16

Yayyy! congratulations!!

OddBoots Tue 21-May-13 18:05:24

Wow, congratulations. smile I hope your boys are pleased.

shockerama Tue 21-May-13 18:35:57

Thank you everyone- its been a great help having you all 'here'.

Im also happy about taking all of August off now as annual leave and being able to spend the school holiday with the boys before the baby arrives.

Will update once I have told my BF.

DP just gone to get DS1 from friends, I'm bursting to tell people- you lot are the only people that know (other than DP!)

RandomMess Tue 21-May-13 18:58:14

So glad to read that you're both so much more positive now grin Enjoy your pink bundle.

fuzzpig Tue 21-May-13 19:01:32

Wow congratulations!

Friend of mine didn't find out until about 35wks shock - she was on the pill. She is a great mum though despite having had no intention of having kids.

Best of luck with telling your boys! They may not be happy now but I bet they really dote on their baby sister when she arrives.

Hope it is not too awful telling your friend. Please don't feel guilty, none of this is your fault.

Wow congratulations, what an amazing story!

ThedementedPenguin Tue 21-May-13 19:05:35

Congratulations. I'm so pleased for you both.

xigris Tue 21-May-13 19:14:31

Fab news! I've been looking forward to an update! So pleased you're happy, can't wait for the birth thread! grin

EarlGreyTeabag Tue 21-May-13 19:18:00

Been shamelessly lurking - congratulations flowers!

Wickedgirl Tue 21-May-13 19:18:52

I am so happy for you. Good luck with everything x

Bowlersarm Tue 21-May-13 19:21:23

What a lovely thread.

Congratulations.

Areyoumadorisitme Tue 21-May-13 19:22:46

Been lurking too. Huge congratulations! smile

5madthings Tue 21-May-13 19:23:19

Oh wow congratulations!glad all is well and enjoy sharing your news in RL, lovely to see your excitement start to grow after the initial shock!

Good luck xx

WentOnABearHunt Tue 21-May-13 19:23:29

I have been following this... so happy for you... congrats smile

OnTheNingNangNong Tue 21-May-13 19:26:03

So happy for you! I hope everything goes well telling your DCs and your BF.

More congratulations grin

TobyLerone Tue 21-May-13 19:41:54

Amazing! Congratulations grin

Springbells Tue 21-May-13 19:47:59

Congratulations, so pleased all's well and you're so excited. Good luck with everything.

Sleepyfergus Tue 21-May-13 20:00:05

Lovely news! Girls rock btw! I'm so pleased you're happy after your OP.

Good luck telling your boys and BF.

HolgerDanske Tue 21-May-13 20:06:58

Please please come back quickly and tell us all about the announcement smile

JollyOrangeGiant Tue 21-May-13 20:18:49

I'm so pleased for you, OP.

TinkyPeet Tue 21-May-13 20:34:32

Congratulations! And you don't have to 'deal' with the shitty first trimester!! ....or much Of the second for that matter! Xxxx

Lighthousekeeping Tue 21-May-13 20:39:02

Congratulations grin

Tiredemma Tue 21-May-13 21:31:55

Im shockerama.

Finally told everyone. Boys were ecstatic. We asked them both to sit down in the living room as we had some news for them. DS1 thought we were about to announce the death of someone hmm. They were jumping around the room.

We then let the boys tell all family members that they were going to have 'a sister'. Our friends were all screaming down the phone at us.

Told my bf, i burst into tears, she said she knew 'something' was up when i called her at the weekend. She is over the moon for me and asked me to send 'the vibes' her way.

Im exhausted now from telling everyone.
We are really happy. Still overwhelmed but happy. This was obviously meant to be.

Just need to tell work tomorrow.

Bowlersarm Tue 21-May-13 21:37:40

Ooh emma soon you're going to be 'moretiredthanibelievedpossibleemma' grin

I love your story.

xigris Tue 21-May-13 21:37:43

smilesmile Sooooo pleased for you all!

BonzoDooDah Tue 21-May-13 21:45:28

Fabulous - what a great story. Brilliant smile

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty Tue 21-May-13 21:55:29

Awwwwwwww thats adorable. Crossing everything for your best friend smile

Hopingforno2 Tue 21-May-13 22:11:49

Just read your story huge congratulations on your pink bundle thanks

MissBlennerhassett Tue 21-May-13 22:17:13

Aaah, congratulations smile

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 21-May-13 22:25:29

wow amazing story. Many many congratulations on your baby girl! Sort of my secret dream, a surprise baby girl after 2 boys smile

Chocoflump Tue 21-May-13 22:28:24

This is a beautiful story!! smilesmile

dementedma Tue 21-May-13 22:29:31

Glad all is well. We had a surprise boy after two girls with a 10 year gap,so I know how it feels!

NigelYerABawbag Tue 21-May-13 22:30:24

Awwwwwwww congratulations smile

Best of luck with it all. I've got a big age gap between my DC and in a way its so hard to make what feels like a huge retrograde step (nappies? Cbeebies shock ) but it has meant that my smallest DC has benefited hugely from being like a first DC all over again, the only one at home during the day etc etc.

gwenniebee Tue 21-May-13 22:40:36

Lovely post smile Congratulations! Hope the rest of the pg goes well!

newbie6 Tue 21-May-13 22:43:20

Congratulations, lovely story and hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x

Areyoumadorisitme Tue 21-May-13 22:59:20

Glad your DSs were so happy and everyone is excited for you smilesmile

DowntonTrout Tue 21-May-13 23:15:59

This is a lovely, lovely story.

I'm so glad you're happy and excited.

All the best for your "16? Week" pregancy and beyond!

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 21-May-13 23:19:02

how wonderful!

clearly someone up there ^ decided you hadnt finished yet and you needed that little girl to complete things!

i am slightly [envy) of you not finding out till 23 weeks! i think by that time i was just starting to feel remotely human again!

best of luck. it was obviously just meant to be!

JaxTellerIsAllMine Tue 21-May-13 23:27:46

Ive just read your whole thread, Im so excited for you. A little sister for the boys and fingers crossed a playmate for your BF, if all goes well.

My SIL had a surprise baby girl too. Her DS was 11 and she discovered she was pregnant... was a huge shock for them all, but I can honestly say my niece is loved and cherished by her big brother, cousins and aunts/uncles.

Good luck to you. I hope your best friend takes the news well.

JaxTellerIsAllMine Tue 21-May-13 23:29:27

oh tiredemma thrilled for you. Obviously between reading and posting things have moved on loads!

nannyof3 Tue 21-May-13 23:36:47

Any names ? winkgrinsmile

CassieTheCockatoo Tue 21-May-13 23:40:56

So happy for you! Good luck to your bf too.

NonnoMum Tue 21-May-13 23:47:55

Some children decide by themselves that they need to be born...

(I've got a surprise No 3 and he brings me joy every single day...)

So pleased for you tiredemma, glad the scan went well and that everyone is so excited smile

moreyear Wed 22-May-13 00:52:20

Oh I became a little teary reading this. Many, many congratulations.

horseonabeach Wed 22-May-13 01:10:19

Best thread I have seen in a while! Congrats smile

TheFutureMrsB Wed 22-May-13 02:05:51

Congrats! grin

So lucky you haven't got the whole 9 months to wait ... Good way of looking at things!

CheerfulYank Wed 22-May-13 02:31:00

TiredEmma I'm so happy for you!

How lovely, a little sister for your boys.

mrssprout Wed 22-May-13 03:02:28

Congratulations ! I was 13 when my 1st sister was born & 15 when my 2nd sister was born. I am in my 40's now & they are still my "baby" sisters. We have a lovely relationship & they both let me be with them for the birth of their first babies as because of medical problems I have no biological children. The age difference meant they came to me for advice when they first had kids (I had been a f*ster carer for years) & then one of them became a nurse so now I ring her for advice. The age difference did not change the fact that we are very close.

MyShoofly Wed 22-May-13 03:05:44

Hurray!!!! lovely story OP...and your right - it's all meant to be I'm sure.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Wed 22-May-13 03:39:25

Congratulations smile

chickieno1 Wed 22-May-13 04:50:39

Great news! Congratulations

swooosh Wed 22-May-13 04:58:56

Lovely story, big congrats

Tiredemma Wed 22-May-13 07:05:53

didn't sleep much last night. Could feel lots of wriggling around and I think I was 'overtired' from telling people.

Looking forward to going to work today to request to off in august.

Just bizarro.

now- where is that Due September thread?........

HolgerDanske Wed 22-May-13 08:23:16

Awwwww so lovely smile

Keep us posted!

fuzzpig Wed 22-May-13 08:34:15

Aww, I'm a bit sniffly at the image of your boys leaping round the room in excitement! That is lovely. What wonderful big brothers they will be smile

LemonBreeland Wed 22-May-13 09:54:17

How lovely that your boys are so excited. Especially given their ages. So pleased for you all.

WingDefence Wed 22-May-13 10:15:39

tiredemma so glad everything's looking fine! You've got past all the more stressful bits now so just enjoy the rest of the pregnancy smile

NotSoNervous Wed 22-May-13 18:19:15

Wow a little girl congratulations!! grin

Lovely thread smile

Hope today went well telling work. YOur BF sounds very sweet too.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Wed 22-May-13 18:38:54

I wondered if this was you when I seen it last week, I told you I had flutterings on the Depo too. hmm

Congratulations, how lovely my DSs would love me to have a little girl! grin

Areyoumadorisitme Wed 22-May-13 19:07:17

Hope work were ok today Tiredemma.

Wincher Wed 22-May-13 21:52:07

So glad you're happy, Emma! Come and join us on the September thread... it's very friendly.

SugarandSpice126 Thu 23-May-13 02:01:46

This is such a lovely story!

dufflefluffle Thu 23-May-13 02:19:50

Having had a baby 7 years after the first - I spent a lot of the first year going : what have I done???!!!!
Now he is four and life is easy again (in truth it got easier around the two mark: he was a bad sleeper). For comfort remember that they are not small for that long a time; your older children will be a great help - my then 7 year old changed nappies as the baby got older and is brilliant with him now; I once knew two quite spoilt children who got a sibling when they were 10 and 12, they turned out to be the most generous and kind siblings and have grown into the loveliest adults who in turn spoil their younger sister - I believe it is because they had her in their lives at that stage of theirs. You will ultimately all benefit from this bonus baby (or keep chanting that anyway and it will be truegrin)
Congratulations and btw they say third children end up being the most successful! (true in my family - I'm NOT the thirdhmm)

Wishfulmakeupping Thu 23-May-13 02:47:55

Fab news congratulations so exciting smile

Aw lovely Fred grin

strawberryswing Thu 23-May-13 21:20:09

Lovely news! I can totally relate, I could have written this post last year. MIdwives on the friday, scan on the Monday where I was 24+5 with a baby girl.

Totally overwhelming, but at a point where there is still time to get your head around everything til baby arrives. And you have less time to wait to meet your bundle smile.

My dd is now 10 months and is utterly, utterly perfect and I couldn't imagine life without her.

Good luck x

Debs75 Thu 23-May-13 21:25:22

Lovely news Shockerama it sounds like things will be fine for you all.

Tiredemma Fri 14-Jun-13 19:50:16

Hi all ( its me, shockerama!).

Brief update.

Still shocked at times but deliriously happy!

Best news also , my lovely best friend had 2 grade 6 embryos planted back in today. Im praying for her. Remaining positive, she has only got as far as having eggs put back in once before, they were grade 3 and unsuccessful. All other eggs were not even good enough previously to put back so we are hoping that it works for her.

Again, thanks for all advice. I keep coming back to read this thread and smiling to myself [smiling]

TinkyPeet Fri 14-Jun-13 20:32:30

Hi Emma, glad to ear you're doing well smile
Best of luck to your friend hoping everything works out xxx

Tiredemma Tue 10-Sep-13 15:27:51

Well my little 'surprise' was delivered by emergency c section on Saturday night.

I have read through this thread with tears rolling down. I can't believe how negative I was when I found out. I am utterly in love with this most precious, beautiful little girl. The whole family are smitten.

I'm very lucky, I realise this now. Thanks everyone who came on with personal stories of their 'surprises'. I can't stop looking at my little girl and just smiling.

PinkApple86 Tue 10-Sep-13 15:46:05

Aw lovely congratulations to you thanks

Massive congratulations to you.
thanks

Bowlersarm Tue 10-Sep-13 15:53:10

Congratulations flowers

Don't feel bad about your mixed emotions when you found out you were pregnant. It's a perfectly normal reaction to a huge shock!

My DM couldn't stop crying when she found out she was pregnant with me (my 3 siblings were over 10 when i was born, and she was 40). But as soon as I was born I was 'the best mistake she'd ever made!' Oh, I love my DM. I knew I wasn't planned but loved and cherished (and very spoilt) as much as my sisters and brother.

Enjoy those snuggly newborn cuddles.

Tiredemma Tue 10-Sep-13 15:56:59

Aw. Now I'm crying again.

MissHC Tue 10-Sep-13 15:59:18

Aww this is so lovely. You almost made me cry at my desk. Congratulations!!

kelda Tue 10-Sep-13 16:00:52

Congratulations TiredEmmasmile

nemno Tue 10-Sep-13 16:02:39

Congratulations , lovely story thanks

How is your friend re post 14th June? I had my fingers crossed for her too.

Ooo, I didn't see this originally, how lovely, I have properly welled up grinblush Congratulations smile thanks

How is your friend getting on?

Congratulations from a lurker x

MamaMary Tue 10-Sep-13 16:11:57

Aw, lovely thread. Sometimes I would secretly like a surprise #3 myself.

Hope little DD thrives and boys continue to adore her grin

ShowOfHands Tue 10-Sep-13 16:12:21

Oh she's here. Brilliant news. Well done you. What name did you go for in the end? I remember you starting a thread in baby names.

I love this thread.

Wahla Tue 10-Sep-13 16:22:01

Aw what a lovely thread! Congratulations and enjoy your little surprise flowers.

Tiredemma Tue 10-Sep-13 16:24:59

Sadly friends IVF failed again and I was devastated for her. I really cried the day she found out. She has been amazing though and really supportive. She plans to try IVF again but is also looking at adoption.

Tiredemma Tue 10-Sep-13 16:25:39

Names- our little surprise is Esme Florence.

WingDefence Tue 10-Sep-13 16:45:53

Congratulations emma! I posted back in May but the thread had dropped off my TIO so I'm glad to see your DD has arrived safely smile

When you posted your OP, my DD was 6-7weeks old and she's now 5 1/2 months old. Time flies! cake

ThwartedbyMum Tue 10-Sep-13 16:46:31

Many congratulations!

ThwartedbyMum Tue 10-Sep-13 16:46:31

Many congratulations!

MrsRV Tue 10-Sep-13 20:51:44

I've never posted on this thread before, remember seeing it back when you had your little surprise though & just saw it pop up sgain so had to re-read.

Beautiful name. Well done. Lovely story. Crying, eating ice-cream and being a worried 5 minutes pregnant & wishing I was 24 weeks right now!!!!

wigglytoes Tue 10-Sep-13 21:04:25

Congratulations! grin

MrsJK Tue 10-Sep-13 21:07:04

Ahh what a lovely story smile Congrats on your new beauty.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Tue 10-Sep-13 21:07:44

Congratulations!

heidihole Tue 10-Sep-13 21:15:25

What a lovely thread to be revived! Congratulations. I remember reading this the first time round.

How did your boys take the pregnancy news? And what do they make of Esme?

IwishIwasmoreorganised Tue 10-Sep-13 21:27:14

Just read the whole thread through.

What a surprise! It's lovely to hear that little Esme is here safely and how smitten you are already!

Good luck to your friend too in whatever path she chooses next.

Xxxx

MacMac123 Tue 10-Sep-13 21:31:23

Huge congrats! Lovely story!

out2lunch Tue 10-Sep-13 21:34:04

beautiful story smile congratulations

Jellybellyrbest Tue 10-Sep-13 21:34:18

Gorgeous story!! Many many congrats...I have 3 DDs. Last one was a surprise after a 4year gap & enjoyed our third little bundle so much; much more relaxed I guess.
I am 13 weeks into another surprise. Delighted after the initial "OMG!!!". Am also worried about finances, but mortified more than anything else about it having happened TWICE! (I also work in the Health Service but in the Private sector). Absolutely dreaded telling work...
I'm so pleased for you; I've just read this thread from start to finish & it's made my evening. As someone else said, Esme was really determined to be here! Enjoy every second of your delicious newborn.

Rowlers Tue 10-Sep-13 21:35:38

Just read your whole thread Emma. What a lovely story! Congratulations. You have, though, made me feel very broody!

Shlurpbop Tue 10-Sep-13 21:41:27

Congratulations! Just been reading through this thread - love how positive it ended for you smile
Thinking of your friend too and wishing her well with her adoption journey x

Just read through this, what a beautiful story!

Congratulations, so very pleased for you ��

SomethingOnce Tue 10-Sep-13 22:46:26

What a brilliant thread smile

Welcome, Esme Florence, and congratulations to you and your family, OP!

flowers

<sobs>

Lovely thread. Congratulations.

Wonderful news and positive thoughts to your BF

Diddle82 Wed 11-Sep-13 08:13:51

Congratulations x

vkinski Wed 11-Sep-13 08:23:03

Wonderful news! Congratulations to you and your family!! I remember reading this thread when you first posted and it is so lovely to follow your journey. Enjoy your little girl and I will be keeping everything crossed for your friend, who sounds just lovely and supportive too xx smile

FobblyWoof Wed 11-Sep-13 08:26:00

Massive congratulations Emma thanks grin

I didn't cry a lot at your update. Nope, not me. <sniff>

Tiredemma Wed 11-Sep-13 15:26:55

Lovely.

Thanks everyone. I have printed this thead off and intend to keep it safe somewhere.

LeaningTowerOfGaffney Wed 11-Sep-13 15:40:09

Congrats! I followed your story from the beginning (NCer) and am so happy for you. In fact, a few tears welling up...

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