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Sex in Pregnancy - a survey!

(46 Posts)
FoofFighter Wed 08-May-13 11:05:06

I am up for it. [bites knuckles and tears hair out]

He is not, it appears, although he won't say, is just avoiding the issue I think.

We've had sex once since the baby was conceived, last week.

Are we normal? How often do you/did you have sex in pregnancy?

TinkyPeet Wed 08-May-13 11:12:31

I have zero sex drive, so as little as possible lol

Pizdets Wed 08-May-13 11:13:58

I have a stitch and can't have sex at all. It is making me very sad and I have a lot of confusing dreams. I wish we could have sex, this isn't normal!

Your OH is probably scared he'll do some damage, can you send him some NHS/official looking links to reassure him? How far gone are you?

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 08-May-13 11:15:50

I found out I was pregnant in August. I joked at one point that Wayne Rooney scored more than DH during my pregnancy (she's now 3 weeks old).

To start with, he was nervous but he soon got over that. My sex drive was pretty low in pregnancy thanks to a bad bout of 'morning' sickness and a baby that was pretty low near the end. I'd say we maybe had sex once a fortnight...

Startail Wed 08-May-13 11:18:58

Buisness pretty much as usual, once or twice a week.

DD1 escaped being induced by having sex grin

FoofFighter Wed 08-May-13 11:20:23

We have talked and he insists there's not a problem but there obviously is, am 26wks.

I remember sex/orgasms being fantastic when I was pg with other two (not this OH) and am sad that I am missing out on this. There's only so many times you can do the do yourself before getting bored of it! [wrist strain]

MrsLianeB Wed 08-May-13 11:20:38

I want to do the dirty deed but have been so sore and dry down there (sorry TMI!) that everytime we try its so painful.
Plus we haven't been able to find a comfortable position either, good job we can have a laugh about it and enjoy cuddles and kisses without it being too much of a problem. Although at 26 weeks the end is soon in sight now!

BraveLilBear Wed 08-May-13 11:27:40

I'm with you Foof, sometimes for hormonal hair-tearing frustration reasons, sometimes for relaxation, always for just being intimate.

Sex has massively tailed off... if it happens I'm the one making all the moves. We're averaging once every 4-6 weeks. Am now 29 weeks.

DP has become very high maintenance. We've discussed it and there is a list of reasons for him not being in the mood. Suffice to say after a week of being exceptionally nice to him, including buying him flowers, not disagreeing with anything he said (I often point out realisms in a situation and it drives him mad), making nice meals and doing shed loads of cleaning, finally got some on Sunday night.

Pizdets - I feel for you...

Fairylea Wed 08-May-13 11:28:42

Every day. Up till c section day!

First dc though I went off it completely at 6 weeks!

Meringue33 Wed 08-May-13 11:31:09

Loads! Had v high libido during Pg. Just as well as that has all gone to the wall since LO was born

FoofFighter Wed 08-May-13 11:35:15

Bravelilbear, oh I can't be harrised doing all that for a jump hahaha!

We didn't dtd for first 12 weeks (recommended for previous recurrent mc). Then I had awful sickness till 25 weeks so not upto it.
Now 34 weeks and think we have dtd twice. My libido has gone, I don't find anything position comfortable and DH doesn't seem to mind.

BraveLilBear Wed 08-May-13 12:05:09

Can't even say the end result was exactly satisfying tbh Foof - prob needed some lube to assist (bloomin hormones having a laugh) but the attention was worth it. Next day, we had a lovely day. No arguments, no faff, no stress.

Am praying to any god that will listen that DP will have made the link between the wonderful relaxing day and the action of the night before and realised that it is a cycle and that sex makes me more inclined to not be stressy etc in the first place... But I don't hold out much hope.

lotsofcheese Wed 08-May-13 12:08:19

None here! Found 1st trimester hard, due to previous miscarriages & nausea. Then pelvic pain, zero sex drive (but did have dirty dreams!) - now 3 weeks post-natal after emcs so it'll be a few weeks yet. At the very least.....

Hardly at all - between about 18 weeks and now (32 weeks) I've managed to nag him into doing it once. He said it 'feels weird' and nothing I say can seem to persuade him otherwise. It is deeply frustrating in more ways than one.

Snowflakepie Wed 08-May-13 12:11:37

With DD, I had no interest at all and when we did DTD, I got spotting and pain so avoided it unless DH begged. So maybe 3 times in the whole pg!

This time, now 34 weeks with DS, there have been no issues and in truth have had so much discharge that very little effort is needed on DHs part lol! At least 2 or 3 times a week up until about 32 weeks, when I just couldn't lie on my back anymore. No other position seems to be satisfying, which is a shame. So now DH is having to make do with once a week as I am willing but don't really get much from it, so am not so interested. Plus I feel like a heifer on all fours, even though Dh insists he doesn't see things that way. I think he's just glad it's not a repeat of last time. It took me way longer than 6 weeks to face it again after DD was born so I'm trying to be kind!

looneytune Wed 08-May-13 12:41:40

I'm 34+2 and we've been pretty regular, in fact most of the time my drive is higher than before I was pregnant (used to be high years ago but having 2 kids has lowered it somewhat).

Wickedgirl Wed 08-May-13 13:12:34

I only 18 weeks with baby 4 so I'm guessing it will slow down as I get bigger but at the moment we are probably doing it 2 or 3 times a week

RuckAndRoll Wed 08-May-13 13:15:02

Glad to see others are saying not at all/very little!

DH is freaked out baby will kick and he'll feel it along with the fact he's just realised that down there and my boobs are not just his playpark but have another use! (26 weeks here too)

MisselthwaiteManor Wed 08-May-13 13:20:29

About once a week here, it was every day pre-pregnancy but I can't be bothered anymore. 32 weeks now and I havent really been into it since the start. DH still wants regular sex, I think he'd still be happy with every day, apart from a few weeks when my boobs first started leaking and he was scared to go near me incase he got milky!

megarobotdiscoparty Wed 08-May-13 13:33:23

none since conception- am now 38 weeks. DH just not interested. highly frustrated as my sex drive hasn't changed at all- possibly increased in fact! i know some men have a real problem with it but feel like a fat old hideous bag and completely repulsive.really hoping things pick up at some point post birth or I'll actually go crazy.

FoofFighter Wed 08-May-13 13:52:23

That's how I feel megarobostdiscoparty (cool name btw!!).

I know rationally that some men find it hard (forgive the pun!) and I can understand their reasons and appreciate their point of view, but it just leaves me feeling fat, frumpy, unattractive, and unloved.
He's not a particularly demonstrative person and pretty much the only time I get affectionate intimacy with him is during sex/just after, so I miss that part a lot too. Probably more than the actual act of actually.

Cheffie100 Wed 08-May-13 14:36:39

Gone off it since 25 weeks and wish I hadn't. Feel unattractive and frumpy and not that turned on. Keep making the effort once a week but DH isn't too bothered either. Roll on things getting back to normal

picnicbasketcase Wed 08-May-13 14:40:19

As often as when not pg, maybe a bit more actually.

Kelly1814 Wed 08-May-13 14:45:18

Like Pizdets, I have a stitch, so cannot at all.

Am devastated, I always have a high sex drive so the fact we haven't been able to since 10 weeks ( am now 17) and can't until the baby is born is literally killing me.

I dream about it every night, I so miss it and the intimacy.

Was also advised no climaxes becaus of stitch, so can't even indulge in other things, alone or with partner sad

GingerDoodle Wed 08-May-13 14:55:01

My lord I was horny as hell when pregnant! DH loved it.

KatieLily12 Wed 08-May-13 15:16:30

We had no desire to for most of pregnancy

Then we did

Baby arrived 24 hours later......

GrandPoohBah Wed 08-May-13 15:39:52

About weekly in the first trimester (all day queasiness). Pretty much every second day from then on, until the night before being induced.

Nothing like that much since though. Tiredness, hormones and stitches have had their affect.

megarobotdiscoparty Wed 08-May-13 16:50:45

am waving to foof and sneaking some saucy love potion into her OH's porridge.... glad I'm not alone ladies!

Dillydollydaydream Wed 08-May-13 16:54:34

I haven't really felt like it at all in the first 2 trimesters. Now I'm in the 3rd trimester I suddenly feel like sex again, much to dhs pleasure. Not sure why as I'm bigger and it's a lot more awkward!

CuteLittleToes Wed 08-May-13 17:17:03

I'm just 11 weeks, but first few weeks after we found out I was super horny (DP was super happy about it), but then tiredness kicked on, so we dtd maybe once a week now on the weekend...

Andcake Wed 08-May-13 17:20:30

I was cautious in frst tri due to previous mc although its not meant to have an impact. DP went off it 3rd tri when he old see/feel baby move. Afterward DP wanted it at 3 weeks ended up at 5 weeks.

Bunnychan Wed 08-May-13 17:32:17

37+6 still having it a couple of times a week. Can't say it's the best ever as its getting more awkward but I like how close it makes us feel. We used to do it a lot more though x

Smerlin Wed 08-May-13 17:44:34

About once a week during 1st month but 2nd and 3rd months had a winning combination of constant bleeding / spotting and terrible sickness and generally feeling rubbish so nothing at all.

Finally starting to feel normal again during 4th month so a couple of times so far - holiday planned soon so hopefully will feel energetic then wink

DH is finding my pregnancy a massive turn on so feel I need to try and let him indulge - just a shame I'm always so knackered from work [frown]

Cavort Wed 08-May-13 18:47:02

My libido has gone completely and I could not feel less sexy, but DH seems unaffected by my new whale-like form (33 weeks) so we probably DTD once a week, which is a lot less than 3/4 times a week pre-pregnancy. I never really feel like it at the moment but I do enjoy the intimacy and I feel complimented that he still seems to fancy me.

bogwoppitinatree Wed 08-May-13 22:51:28

Mostly none in 1st tri as we had had a miscarriage before and were both scared of the same, 2nd tri was fantastic(!) and third trimester has been none existent. My libido has tailed off a bit and I think both of us are a bit unsure re positioning with me being so big! Getting a bit frustrated now to say the least. I'm 36 weeks so would like to get some in before the big day!

ElBombero Wed 08-May-13 23:08:57

None here �� DH'a decision not mine. Was same with DD, sex once during the pregnant which I bullied him into, and his heart was obviously not in it so I stopped. 23weeks now see hasn't been mentioned or tried. confusedconfused Frustrating. I actually watched some porn the other day!!

FoofFighter Thu 09-May-13 13:46:45

For those that OH's weren't interested, did things go back to normal after the birth?

RoxyLady Thu 09-May-13 14:02:36

We've had no sex since finding out im preg. This is mainly because i had three miscarriages before and we were worried about something happening.
I miss sex!

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 09-May-13 14:23:14

Foof my DH stopped being funny about sex by the second trimester. Now he is asking when it might be on the cards because apparently it's been a while hmm I had a tear so it'll be a while longer still til it's all healed! smile

BraveLilBear Thu 09-May-13 14:30:21

Foof I can but pray... I'd say everything crossed, but then, that's counterproductive confused

Elton535 Thu 09-May-13 18:38:47

For the first trimester of my first pregnancy, I was ever in the mood for sex. By the third trimester, my sex drive was crazy and we had sex very often. I'm now 5 months along with DC5 and I've been super horny since conception. For some reason, DH loves having sex when I have a huge bump, as he made clear during my last 3 pregnancies.

ElBombero Thu 09-May-13 22:17:42

Yeah everything back to normal after birth x

chattychattyboomba Thu 09-May-13 22:33:24

I had zero sex drive- DH too as he felt weird about it. i was fine with that...we had no sex (that's right- none) when i was preg.
Our relationship had never been better or more loving and supportive.
He watched me give birth and 6 weeks later whammo- everything back exactly the same as i left it.

TalkUsernameYoudLike Fri 10-May-13 15:14:55

All couples are different.

I know of couples that didn't do it at all because their (male)P's were to scared of harming the baby, or it just didn't feel 'right'.

For me, I couldn't get enough! Around 4-5 times a week!

SuffolkNWhat Fri 10-May-13 15:23:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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