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Who has a glass of wine? No bashing please

(187 Posts)
Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 14:09:21

I have a glass of wine once a week. A small glass and I feel guilty about this. Although, the midwife said this is fine. With my first I had a glass prob once a month. I was more strict. Also, this time around I have coffee (one cup made at home) every other day. I feel guilty about that as well.

Please list how often you drink either wine or coffee. If you don't drink either at all, no need to post please.

I don't drink any alcohol but I do have a small cup of coffee each morning (only about 2 mouthfuls really as I gag after that but it helps wake me up)

ExpatAl Sun 05-May-13 14:14:02

I have an expresso now and then. I don't know if it's just the placebo effect but it really helps with my afternoon headaches.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Sun 05-May-13 14:15:49

I have 2 DC. I didn't really drink either alcohol or coffee in the first trimester with either as the thought made me feel sick (I did chain drink tea though- I love a cuppa).

In the second and third trimesters I had at least one latte a day and a glass of wine 1/2 a week.

ExpatAl Sun 05-May-13 14:19:48

Oh yes tea - 2 or 3 cups a day. So I guess I'm getting caffeine one way or another!

AuntieStella Sun 05-May-13 14:24:02

In 1st two PGs, I had the odd alcoholic drink (I'd like to say single unit, but home poured, so probably 2), but went off caffeine. In 3rd PG I dodn't drink alcohol because I went off it, but did drink coffee frequently.

Vakant Sun 05-May-13 14:24:02

I have a morning coffee every day, and a glass of wine a week.

Kelly1814 Sun 05-May-13 14:26:21

i have one coffee first thing in the morning before leaving the house for work. tried de caf but hated it. i enjoy this one coffee immensely.

i also have one or two glasses of wine each week, usually at the weekend when out for dinner with hubby or friends. I had one last night. sipped it over a 90 minute period and again, enjoyed it immensely.

I'm 17+5, waited to have a glass of wine until i was about 15 weeks, from memory.

Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 14:26:41

Oh wow u gag after? Some women go off coffee when pregnant. I never did. I love the taste and how it wakes me up in morning. I need something when I wake at 5:30am, thanks to a little 15 month old princess and I work full time 5 days a week, plus pregnant 15 weeks. I need a little pick up in morning. Although I try not to have caffeine every day. Sometimes I have decaf. Or I make my husband have half caffeine and half decaf,mso I can share w him lol.

roofio87 Sun 05-May-13 14:27:41

I have coffee every day,just the one cup.would have the occasional wine but the heartburn puts me right off!!

yousankmybattleship Sun 05-May-13 14:29:29

If you feel guilty why do you do it? Genuine question.

ellajayne Sun 05-May-13 14:31:47

I'm not pregnant but with my first I had two glasses on my birthday (red wine) at 12 weeks and on my second a glass of red at my belated engagement party when I was 10 weeks. I didn't drink regularly through either but I was always told there was no harm.

Lydia161290 Sun 05-May-13 14:37:06

I must have drank like 2 glasses of wine in this whole pregnancy, both times I ended up with my head in a toilet! Haven't touched alcohol for months.

But I feel super guilty for drinking coffee. I went off tea in first trimester and haven't touched it since (used to be a chain tea drinker). So my substitute has been a cup of coffee in the morning and i've tried to be strict with myself, however... currently sipping on an iced coffee at the moment.

But I try and make up for it by drinking water/milkshake for the rest of the day.

I had a smirnoff ice or two when pregnant with dd every 2-3 weeks until 11 weeks when i felt queezy, didn't drink at all with ds as before i knew i was pregnant everytime i drank it came back up so there was no point even trying once i did know.

I've had half a small glass of wine this time which made my head spin so not again, once in a very blue moon (maybe 3 times) i'll open a tin of carlsberg and have a few sips then give it to dp to finish as i don't want it - more just 'a wee tasty' hmm that makes sense..

CajaDeLaMemoria Sun 05-May-13 14:40:40

YouSankMyBattleship I'm wondering that too.

Completely genuinely, and not judgementally at all.

I don't have children, so perhaps that's why I don't understand. I don't drink much, either, because of serious health problems.

Didn't drink til about 16wks with DS (although got BFP on almighty sambucca hangover at 8weeks...) then had half a glass of red on the occasional Sunday night

Didn't drink til 12weeks with DD (BFP at 4weeks) and had 1-2 units 1-2 x a week. No guilt.

No caffeine first time, copious amounts of tea the second time. I also ate sushi and runny eggs.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Sun 05-May-13 14:41:06

I soooo want to have both but my CHRONIC heartburn is preventing me fro having either confused
I'd love a good cup of coffee and see no issue with this.

I craved coffee with dd - about 5-6 cups of hot sweet black coffee every morning for 10 weeks shock - i didn't hear about the no coffee malarky until pregnant with ds. With ds i had milky coffee maybe twice a week and this time round i went off coffee until a few days ago and drank a cup of tea or two most days.

mrsmalcolmreynolds Sun 05-May-13 14:42:42

Caffeine most days, never more than one large latte and usually just a mug of tea. Alcohol max 2 units (I measure out using a cocktail set I got as a present and check the ABV on the bottle) not more than twice a week and usually more like once every ten days. Didn't have any alcohol from positive test (5 wks) until about 14 wks.

badguider Sun 05-May-13 14:47:04

I don't like coffee - I have one to two cups of caffeinated tea a day. One in the morning and one if I'm out somewhere that decaff options aren't good. I try not to drink coke if I have had two cups of tea but sometimes I guess I've had as much as two teas and two cokes (at a work do where there was no decaff tea and the evening non-alcohol choice was coke or oj).

I have about a third of a glass of red wine when out for dinner if the others are ordering a bottle.. I guess it's been about one a fortnight. I generally don't want more than to sip it with my food/main course. I had one glass of bubbly at a wedding.

Just discovered alcohol-free erdinger weiss beer which was delicious but made me burp sooooo much blush

Dexidoo Sun 05-May-13 14:47:30

I'm not a fan of instant coffee but have switched to decaf in the home machine and when out for coffee. As long as it's good stuff I don't mind the change. Drink 2 cups a tea on average, regular as the decaf I can't stand.

I think I only had about 2 units in the whole time up to 20 weeks but I went off it completely with nausea. I'm 25 weeks now and say I probably have 2 units a week. Still not keen on wine (which is my usual tipple) but discovered Becks premium light which is 0.8 units for a big bottle and can't bring myself to go back to the Becks blue!

My midwife did catbumface when I told her one or two units a week but it's my decision and I'm happy with it!

FrickingFedUp Sun 05-May-13 14:51:10

I did, but only after 20 weeks. Not by any conscious decision, I attempted a small glass of wine on holiday in the first trimester but it tasted like vinegar, even though I was assured by rest of table it didn't, so just didn't fancy it til later on. Then I had the odd glass on special occasions, mum's 50th, Xmas day, NYE etc, but never more than 1-2 units once or twice a week.

I also breast fed and drank occasionally doing mixed feeding where appropriate. And probably as dd got older got a bit less cautious as time went on and she was finding less - fed her til 12 months and by that point was probably up to my usual intake of a bottle a week. But by then she was only feeding morning and night, so I'd give her feed at bedtime and would occasionally have a glass or two after that feed, and then not feed her til morning.

I think common sense should prevail, a small glass especially late in pg is unlikely to do any harm.

dizzy77 Sun 05-May-13 14:53:33

Went off tea in first trimester but now maybe 3 or 4 cups each day. Perhaps 3 or 4 (coffee shop) lattes a week. Think the caffeine limiting guidance is mostly to do with it limiting iron absorption, my iron levels have been fine through both pgs so I've decided not to go mad here.

Booze? A weekly half of beer or a glass of white wine, split into two & spritzed with sparkling water. Used to drink like a fish before first pg but never really got the taste back so that's been much easier this pg: if I've fancied it, I've had it, I just haven't fancied it much. Unless its champagne, of course, which I crave every day grin.

Bodicea Sun 05-May-13 14:55:56

I have been having little snuffles of my fellas glass of wine. Once I get to 20 weeks I think I will allow myself the odd small glass at home-although not if dh has anything to do with it. He is dead against it!
It is easier to just have a few sips of partners beverage when out as I feel like I will be judged if I order my own in a bar/restaurant.
I remember my friend tutting at another friend who was drinking a small beer at Christmas when she was way past 30 weeks!

ChangeNameToday Sun 05-May-13 15:00:42

I hate the way women are made to feel like schoolchildren over the choices they make in pregnancy. You would have to drink steadily and regularly for it to have any effect on your unborn child. Foetal Alcohol Syndrome is only seen in babies born to alcoholics. A glass here and there will do no harm whatsoever. Ditto when you are breastfeeding. I breastfed for nearly 2 years - you think I remained tee-total for that long? Of course not.

So many sticks to beat us with.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Sun 05-May-13 15:02:42

I agree with yousankmybattleship - why do it if you feel guilty?

FWIW your caffeine consumption is well within the very precautionary NHS guidelines and there has never been any evidence to show very light drinking in pregnancy is harmful (1 to 2 units, once or twice a week) so I really am not getting the guilt confused

High caffeine consumption is considered a strong risk factor in first trimester miscarriage - that is the main reason for the guidelines and why women trying to conceive are also advises to cut it down. Drinking a lot of tea interferes with iron absorption though IIRC that is not caffeine related. After 3 months I would be more concerned about tea intake rather than coffee.

javabean Sun 05-May-13 15:07:12

I'm about 30 weeks pg and have coffee almost every day - normally one cup but sometimes 2 - but then I also have a toddler so sometimes need the energy boost! I occasionally drink a small glass of wine, but not that often due to falling asleep around 9pm smile also eat runny eggs and cheese that I'm not supposed to.

In my first pregnancy I looked at some of the studies and figures the advice was based on, and came to the conclusion that the risks were tiny.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Sun 05-May-13 15:10:51

Yeah, what ChangeNameToday said. I am always puzzled by people who follow the guidelines without asking why or doing their own research. Also the NHS guidelines are mostly pretty sensible and liberal but there are so many people who have been to the university of google and claim you can't eat or drink x or y because some random woo site said so.

Essexgirlupnorth Sun 05-May-13 15:15:48

I'm 18 weeks and have had two glasses of wine during the whole pregnancy. Just worried if I have a glass regularly I will want more than one.
I don't drink tea or coffee anyway because I don't like them. Have had the odd coke though.

KingRollo Sun 05-May-13 15:31:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

badguider Sun 05-May-13 15:33:24

KingRollo - there is no recommended limit for alcohol. It is zero by the nhs guidelines.
I think the guilt many people feel comes from going knowingly against that guidance.

[for anybody who doesn't know, it's 200mg a day for caffeine]

ChangeNameToday Sun 05-May-13 15:39:50

badguider, doesn't the NHS say one or two units once or twice a week? And they only say that to get through to the thickos. It's ike with drinking and driving. There actually is a safe limit but they don't encourage it because a lot of people are too stupid to stick to it, so they say no alcohol at all.

Teaandflapjacks Sun 05-May-13 16:11:20

I also am confused why post this, then say 'If you don't drink either at all, no need to post please.' - it almost sounds like data gathering....! hmm

Badguider is spot on - there is no 'safe' limit with alcohol - it is a toxin. There are lots of new studies coming out about the effects of alcohol on foetuses. Change - both my sister and BIL are doctors, and the alcohol guidelines are nothing to do with stupid people not sticking to it - they know now that occasionally the alcohol effects the developing foetus in an adverse way, and you are welcome to google the latest research on the topic. This is why they now say - none is 'safe'. You could be really unlucky and drink at a critical point, and then have an issues later - since alcohol crosses the placenta. If you 'must' then very little - say the guidelines. People used to smoke when pg too not that long ago. They can't do loads of research truly into it either. here:-

'If women want to avoid all possible alcohol-related risks, they should not drink alcohol during pregnancy because the evidence on this is limited.'

re. caffeine. The risk actually is to do with the babies birth weight. Now being sensible about caffeine - and having a couple of cups of tea (not buiklders strength) etc is fine they think - just don't go knocking back loads of the stuff. But you never know this may also change. I personally hate coffee now, and have the odd cup of normal tea, but mainly caffeine free tea.

Personally I drink - it is nine months, why on earth is it that hard to just not have a drink.

here is some more food for thought - and I live in germany and they are also very against it here now, based on new research, and it really is actively discouraged. And no - I do not think for a moment they are trying to 'control' me - just protect me and my baby from future complications.

http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2270.aspx?CategoryID=54

How does alcohol affect my unborn baby?

If you drink alcohol when you’re pregnant, the alcohol crosses the placenta into the bloodstream of the unborn baby and could interfere with how it grows and develops. In the absence of its own blood filtering system, the foetus is unprotected from any alcohol molecules that cross from the mother’s blood.
Alcohol can cause damage to an unborn baby at all stages of pregnancy. Drinking during pregnancy has been associated with:
miscarriage (over 9,000 women are admitted to hospital every year for miscarriages caused by alcohol [NHS Information Centre Hospital Admission data])
low birth weight
heart defects
learning and behavioural disorders

Teaandflapjacks Sun 05-May-13 16:12:29

gah - meant to say 'personally I DONT drink' confused oh dear!

pinkteapot Sun 05-May-13 16:34:31

I have had a glass or two of wine now and then during all 4 pregnancies, and drink a couple of coffees and teas a day. But then I dont get too wrapped up in nhs guidelines, just try to eat snd drink sensibly.

however one persons 'i did this and baby is fine / not fine' isn't evidence either way as there are so many other unknown factors in each case, from genetics to other lifestyle choices.

personally OP I certainly wouldnt feel bad about your intake level. but you will get those who say otherwise too and cite research or lack of research as reason to avoid a long list of food and drink.

IMHO, just be sensible and enjoy your pregnancy!

Teaandflapjacks Sun 05-May-13 16:42:44

I should also add - I have severe MS - at 26 weeks it is a case of eating like a child to avoid throwing up. So for me it is no temptation at all. It easy very easy for me to be a bit high and mighty blush then - if i had no MS i expect it would be a very different story, since normally I just love wine. i really cant wait to give birth, and then drink a bottle of the stuff - and will be expressing or mixed feeding to allow me to do this. My doctor said that worrying is worse - too much stress hormone etc for the baby, than most of the 'forbidden' things themselves (in moderation) etc. and also told me to stop looking at google. blush mmm. hormones a bit mad today, enjoy your vino ladies - apologies for sounding a bit off. shock xx

ElBombero Sun 05-May-13 17:04:22

Hi no alcohol in 1st trimester, just because of risk. Since been having 2-3 small glasses a week on separate intervals. Always have one coffee in morning and then for rest of day drink decaf tea / coffee. Lost the ability to enjoy water??? N used to religiously drink 2l a day

rowtunda Sun 05-May-13 17:08:07

I cut alcohol out until 5 month in my first pregnancy, but I've found it much harder second time round. I have 1-2 small glasses of wine a week. I don't feel guilty about it at all as it is not excessive drinking and is within guidance.

Sometimes it is just the thought of it which I like - pour one out & then don't bother to drink it!

Ragwort Sun 05-May-13 17:17:04

I didn't drink for the first few weeks - because I genuinely went off alcohol and I didn't know I was pregnant grin but yes, I drank a glass of wine (large) twice a week or so for most of my pregnancy, and when breast feeding. I certainly didn't give up coffee - and I drink 5-6 mugs of strong coffee a day grin.

I didn't feel guilty at all. I personally believe that the 'advice' not to drink at all is geared towards very heavy drinkers who probably don't listen to it anyway.

My MIL was a midwife, she drank (gin) and smoked her way through her pregnancies grin.

You have to make your own decision, there will be lots of people for whom drinking is something they woud never, ever consider when pregnant; some people will be affected, some won't.

ElBombero Sun 05-May-13 17:25:51

Well said namechangetoday

crazyhead Sun 05-May-13 17:50:08

Based on last pregnancy and now starting the second trimester of this, I drink around a glass of wine a week, and generally a cup of proper coffee. I see no reason to feel guilty. I felt too sick to drink in the first trimester, but have now started to have the odd glass.

The NHS guidelines on alcohol are based on the precautionary principle (if you tell women they can have a glass of wine, they'll read that as a bottle) not on evidence of harm. Personally, I find this irritating. There was an embarrassing conflict a few years ago between NICE guidelines on alcohol intake (evidence based) and NHS guidelines for this reason.

Other posters are right that it probably isn't worth doing something that is making you feel guilty - however, I do think that being pregnant, especially for the first time is odd, because it is as though suddenly your body stops being just yours and you feel as though you have to be perfect. Personally I'm happy to stick with good enough.

DXBMermaid Netherlands Sun 05-May-13 17:50:32

I just had a beer and it was the best beer I have ever had in my life!

Haven't had a drink for months!

ReikiMummy Sun 05-May-13 18:50:46

Coffee.... 1 "mug" with just under half a spoon of coffee and milk... always in a morning, sometimes about 5pm too.

Alcohol not too fussed about but then i wasn't fussed about it before getting pg. Will have a sip of OH's wine if he has one at my parents with tea etc... just a sneaky share of guinness now and then... nom!

tequilacream Sun 05-May-13 20:42:52

It seems more about development of the child rather than extremes like Foetal Alcohol Syndrome. Article on BBC - www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-22167522

BabyHMummy Sun 05-May-13 21:14:35

I have been virtually tee-total due to meds for the last 3 years so am used to not drinking but it is hard when out for dinner or at some big family celebrations not to have the odd drink. I am not a massive wine fan or would probably still have the odd glass even though am pg but as i tend to drink vodka or Tia Maria i havee avoided completely although don't see that the odd drink does any harm

OrbisNonSufficit Sun 05-May-13 21:44:42

I have a coffee every day. Life really doesn't bear thinking about without caffeine! No alcohol at the moment as I'm in the first trimester, but I'm not planning to abstain completely for the second and third...

Christelle2207 Sun 05-May-13 22:41:09

I have one (caf) coffee and one tea a day - that's well within the cafferine guidelines. I also have a couple of decafs a day.

On a more naughty note I am enjoying 1-2 small glasses of wine a week. I drank hardly at all during the first trimester though. Currently 27 weeks.

I've completely gone off tea tho I'm having the very occasional espresso. I'm 14 weeks now.

I normally LOVE wine but I've had no desire to have any. I tried a sip of a very good wine that my DP was having and I thought it tasted like utter crap! Actually I'm glad it does as it solves any problem of me worrying about wanting a glass.

I do like Bavaria zero beer tho its massively fizzy lol

atrcts Sun 05-May-13 22:45:31

In my first pregnancy the advice was to drink maximum of 2 units a week - which I did. This pregnancy the advice has changed due to new research and so I haven't dared touch it!

Coffee - I also switched to decaf, but more to avoid withdrawal headaches when i had pregnancy sickness and tea/coffee made me feel sick!

If i am out having coffee at someone else's house I will take a normal coffee, or even a coke, so I probably drink a caffeinated drink or two, once every 3 days or so. I har to har a fix of coke (cola!!) sometimes to give me energy to deal with my toddler while I lug this fat belly around all day!!!!

JollyOrangeGiant Sun 05-May-13 22:48:51

Most days I have no coffees. Occasionally I've had three cups of fairly weak coffee.

I've had a couple of sips of beer so far this time, but that's all. We are off on holiday when I'm 32 weeks and I'll maybe have a couple of half shandies then. I don't miss it though.

Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 22:56:50

Usankmybattleship, I feel guilty about many things. Its in my personality to worry and feel guilty. I feel guilty to let my baby cry for a minute when I put her down for nap, but she never cries more then a minute and goes right to sleep for an hour or two. I know drinking a glass of wine is different or q cup of coffee, but I don't think it does harm. I know many people who have done the same. In fact my mother in law drank a few times a week and during her first two pregnancies (she is 70 and a lot of women in her time did). And her sons are all fine. I think I feel guilty about it bc we are made to feel guilty about these things.

I agree with changenametoday. I think a glass here and there is fine.

Mamabear12 Sun 05-May-13 23:03:45

Teaandflwpjacks, the only reason I said that was because I didn't want a lot of posts saying "I don't drink wine or coffee etc" bc I'm curious about the people who do drink and how much...not really about who doesn't drink. But of course if you don't drink it's okay to post smile I just wanted to get some responses from coffee drinkers and people who drink wine and not only people who don't drink. I guess I'm just curious about others

yousankmybattleship Sun 05-May-13 23:07:21

Please don't use that old chestnut that previous generations drank/smoked etc and had healthy babies. Your MIL might have been lucky, but plenty weren't.
If you genuinely feel you are doing nothing wrong, then what is the point of your post?
I think in your heart of hearts though you know you would be more responsible to have no alcohol or caffeine and that is why you are feeling guilty.

mrspaddy Sun 05-May-13 23:09:37

I had no tea or coffee for first trimester but have one coffee each morning. No alcohol though.. prob not a bad thing.. my liver is getting a break. I drink de-alcoholised wine which is rotten

Helpyourself Sun 05-May-13 23:15:52

Gulp.
I'm a recovering alcoholic.
When I was pregnant, a long time ago, I drank the then recommended amount, which was a glass a day. It wasn't 125 ml, probably more like 200. I never drank more, probably because although my alcoholism wasn't active then I guess I was already on the slippery slope. All children were big and full term and all are NT and very bright. (I can safely say that now as they are almost grown up, selective secondaries, high IQs etc.)
I beat myself up about a lot- enforced early bedtimes so I could crack on, grumpiness etc. but even with my history I don't worry about the drinking in pregnancy.

TheSecondComing Sun 05-May-13 23:25:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Helpyourself Sun 05-May-13 23:25:39

To clarify- I was lucky. I'm not suggesting that the guidelines now are too strict. Just for me ^because if how it turned out all three times* I don't feel guilt about the amount I drank.

Featherbag Sun 05-May-13 23:26:12

I'm 9 weeks at the minute and willing the next 3 weeks to pass quickly so can have my glass of red on a Saturday night! I did this from 12 weeks during my first pregnancy, I'd make DH go and choose a REALLY nice bottle of red so I could make a glass lasts couple of hours. He doesn't complain, I don't normally condone the purchase of wine costing more than £5 a bottle!

Anyway, there are studies published and ongoing that have linked the consumption of a small weekly amount of red wine from week 12 of pregnancy to higher IQ and fewer behavioural problems in children. So I'm actually drinking the wine for my DC's sake, not because I want to. So there. wink

fatandlumpy Mon 06-May-13 05:59:35

I have a large mug of a coffee every morning and I have 'wee tasties' 3/4 times a week of whatever the boyf is drinking (beer or wine). I'm now 28 weeks (ish). During the first tri the only booze I drank really were a couple of 'wee tasties' and a glass of Champagne at Christmas and New Year (both of which lasted the full night...). I also had a sip of whisky at New Year. Oh yes - Boyf got me a random 1/2 Guinness once - but I couldn't finish it.

Every couple of weeks or so we go out for a Sunday pub roast and then I have 1/2 a lager (there's a CAMRA pub virtually next door which does an exquisite black lager (on draft) at 4% ABV). I usually can't finish the half - but it's sooooooo gooooood and lasts me the entire meal. No-one batters an eye lid when I drink it - but then again, I'm not quaffing it down...

I also drink 0% beer (either Becks blue or Bitburger Drive) as I like the taste of beer and so I do miss it. I have about 1 or 2 bottles after a harsh day (work about 14 hrs a day when busy... in higher education and I teach medical/veterinary science and pure science students... about drugs and biochemistry so 'flame away' if you wish...)

Recently the boyf found a 1% cider in Waitrose for me - which I had with a meal (huge ploughmans) when we didn't go out for Sunday lunch.

Totes-amaze-balls. Couldn't finish the bottle - but it was damn nice.

I'll leave you with some advice my Mum gave me... your body knows best. Eat what you want, when you want. Do what you want, when you want to. Everything else is 'advice'. It's your body, your pregnancy and your baby.

KingRollo Mon 06-May-13 06:22:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fatandlumpy Mon 06-May-13 07:05:30

Ooooooooh KingRollo - many thanks. I'll keep an eye out or perhaps send the OH out on a quest.

Featherbag Mon 06-May-13 07:43:40

Erdinger's lovely, tastes like real beer - Sainsburys sell it! And Morrisons sells alcohol-free Kopparberg, which tastes exactly like the real thing. Never be tempted by alcohol free wine though, tis Devil's piss.

LouiseD29 Mon 06-May-13 10:04:39

After I found out I was pg I didn't drink alcohol or tea/coffee/coke in the first trimester(apart from a small prosecco on New Year's Eve). Now I'm nearing my third I drink tea and have the odd sip of wine. I never really have as much as even a whole small glass, not because I particularly think I shouldn't but because after four or five sips it just feels like enough. My only craving has been ice cold beer, so after my successful 22 week scan I had a cold bottle of Becks to celebrate - it was delicious!!!

honey86 Mon 06-May-13 11:04:26

i havent had a drop and im14 weeks. . i intend to have a small wine on holiday though, ill be 30 weeks x

Teaandflapjacks Mon 06-May-13 11:05:00

kingrollo i second that - I live in germany and drink that whenever I have wanted a drink - tis wonderful stuff, low cal and isotonic. Obviously it has some alcohol in it - i think 0.05%, but so does things like orange juice in your fridge etc - just very minimal (i guess that would be like 0.01%). I also helped anyone i know suffering in 1st trimester from being unable to 'go' on the loo shift everything out. They swear by that here to help with that.

mrsmellow Mon 06-May-13 12:26:05

It is interesting to hear what other people do - but I think you have to do what feels right for you. I deliberately didn't really drink caffeine or alcohol between weeks 6-10 as that is when the most crucial development occurs - thats not based on scientific evidence, just what felt right to me - and I was feeling sick until about 13 weeks so didn't really have much for the few weeks after that either, but not by choice!
Since then I have had a delicious cup of coffee a day (it is strong proper coffee) which I really enjoy - the evidence is there for too much caffeine causing IUGR so that seems reasonable to me. I have had a glass of red wine once or twice a week with dinner with friends/DH which I really enjoy. I don't feel guilty and as someone said up thread - anxiety and stress is bad for the baby as well. But for some women, that might be an unacceptable risk and that's ok too - read the literature and make a decision for yourself.

ExpatAl Mon 06-May-13 12:40:33

That is when quite a lot of crucial development happens mrs mellow, but there is also crucial development of the brain and nervous system much later into the pregnancy. There is no 'safe' period. I'm not saying that to stop people drinking - everyone makes their own decision. Anxiety and stress such as coping with abuse or living in a warzone is harmful. Not having a drink unless you're an alcoholic isn't in the same league. Does caffeine cause IUGR? I thought that was linked to problems with the placenta and some diseases?

Abra1d Mon 06-May-13 12:45:33

Two small glasses of wine a week in both pregnancies, after week 12. Two healthy, bright children.

Drank coffee, too, just not in such quantities as before pregnancy.

Petcat Mon 06-May-13 17:14:29

I drink one cup of caffeinated tea every day, and have enjoyed between one and two units of alcohol a week throughout my pregnancy. One of my major cravings has been for stout and porter, so I usually have a little 1/3rd of a pint glass of good beer and really savour the taste.

I have read as much of the relevant research about alcohol and pregnancy as I can access. I think the risk posed by very light drinking is incredibly small and feel no guilt whatsoever about occasionally enjoying a tiny amount. To be honest, I'm amazed how judgemental people can be about this issue.

There was an excellent paper recently published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, which found drinking less than 2 units a week has no detrimental impact on the behavioural and emotional development of children. In fact, at age 7, the children of light drinkers had better reading and spatial skills than the children of the abstainers. Once social and environmental factors were controlled for, drinking alcohol in pregnancy was simply found to have no effect, either positive or negative, on a child's eventual wellbeing. Link here

cwtchontoast Mon 06-May-13 21:19:03

I have a bottle or a half of later once or twice a week, coffee smells great to me, but gives me heartburn although I drink pop most days so I'm probably still full of caffeine.

cwtchontoast Mon 06-May-13 21:19:45

Later? I meant lager dammit.

Bunnylion Mon 06-May-13 22:23:28

I have up to 2 coffee plus 2 teas per day. For alcohol up to 2 glasses of wine a week, I'm only drinking wine and champagne now so no spirits.

However I did initially find out that I was pregnant just before Christmas, after a couple of heavy very drunken works party's!

It's good to search and be aware of the dangers but endless worrying wont do you or your baby any good.

Bunnylion Mon 06-May-13 22:24:04

*research, not search.

Thingiebob Mon 06-May-13 22:27:04

I don't smoke/drink or take drugs in pregnancy although I do drink plenty of coffee. At first I cut down on caffeine intake but have noticed it has crept back up again.

Am past caring now as have been informed baby is huge plus I am overdue.

mumoftwoboysS Tue 07-May-13 12:40:50

Agree with changenametoday we are constantly told what we an and can't have and made to feel guilty about it.

I have my daily small (but proper machine) coffee and one cafienated tea a day (sometimes 2) I tried decaf coffee in Costa and its horrid so if I know I'm going to go there I'll forfeit my morning coffee so I can enjoy a proper one later.

Mamabear12Try not to feel guilty- doesn't sound like you're being excessive. I had maybe a glass of wine every couple of weeks with my last pregnancy. I will probably do the same once I'm in my 2nd tri with this one (don't feel like it yet and would rather wait till riskier 1st tri is over)

My DH is also very disapproving re coffee and alcohol so I tend not to bother as he gives me so much grief hmm

my philosophy is enjoy the odd glass of wine if you like it and with coffee and tea? I think you'd have to hae 5 or 6 a day to be doing any harm (or more) my SIL drank about that much every day and all three of her kids are fine and healthy!

harleyd Tue 07-May-13 14:20:11

i found out i was pregnant after a VERY boozy weeks holiday in the canaries.
im now 23 weeks, i have a couple of shandys or a pint of cider once a week when we go to the bar.
i drink coffee every day, but have cut down from about 8 cups, to 2

rrreow Tue 07-May-13 14:43:39

I drink wine (or a beer) when I feel like it but no more than once a week and never more than about 1 unit. At the moment it's probably once every 2-3 weeks, but around Christmas time I definitely enjoyed up to the NHS guidelines.

I drink decaf as I can't really tolerate the amount of caffeine in a cup of coffee, even when not pregnant!

I don't feel guilty about the above, nor do I think I should, nor do I think you should feel guilty about your choices. It sounds like your choices are informed and responsible.

MummyJetsetter Tue 07-May-13 14:48:03

Hi, in my 1st pregnancy I had a glass of wine every night, and a can of coke every morning. Also when I was on holiday for a week I had a glass with my lunch and one with my evening meal.

I am 17 weeks in to my second pregnancy and I have just started drinking a glass on Friday amd Saturday nights and one with Sunday dinner. I didn't before the last couple of weeks because my appetite for food and drink was non existent so I didn't have much of anything. I still have a can of coke in the morning and I have a cup of tea most afternoons.

In my first pregnancy I really didn't read anything about alcohol so I just thought a glass a night was fine. My son is absolutely unaffected by it. I do think it's only really excessive drinking that causes problems. I've read things saying that 1 drink in the whole pregnancy can cause problems. It that's scaremongering if ever I heard it!

I wouldn't feel guilty, you're not being excessive at all and I think a glass of wine when you put your child to bed is great sanity maintenance!

Featherbag that's a great argument by the way!

xx

Shellington Tue 07-May-13 14:50:25

I have had half a bottle of wine in the past ... <totting up>... five-ish years. (In the gap between stopping BF DC1 and getting PG with DC2 - whom I still BF).

Through that I've had one normal tea a day, 2-3 decaff, no coffee but a coke/ some chocolate probably 2-3 times a week and zero alcohol. Am not guilt-driven with any of the above, just my preference.

TravelHappy Tue 07-May-13 17:04:40

ChangeNameToday - I'm sorry to hijack but I'm interested to know more about drinking (caffine or alcohol) when breastfeeding. Is there something in the timing such as drinking straight after a feed or is it just being sensible with amounts?

OP - I have a cup of coffee most days and after 20 weeks (I had a wobble at 16/17) I've really enjoyed my one sensible sized glass of wine a week. I have alternated with low alcohol cider from Sainsburys which I find nice too.

MummyBurrows Tue 07-May-13 17:56:22

I don't drink wine or coffee,have never liked either. But fwiw I'm 17wks and so far I've had a strong cup of tea every morning and will continue to do so,its the only one I have all day,not because I'm worried about caffine intake,just because 1 is enough for me. I don't drink in general and haven't in 5yrs now but I do have a small glass of something over xmas,newyear and the occassional shandy in the summer and no doubt I will again this summer even though I'm going to spend all summer pregnant. Also,I developed a massive craving for coca-cola (full fat,not diet) when pregnant first time around and I was consuming well over the RDA of caffine-i mean easily having between 6-10cans a day!-and I was around the 25-30wks mark and while I know I shouldn't have done it,I simply couldn't help myself,and my DD came out perfect-both looks,colour and weight wise and no problems whatsoever,I'm not condoning it and saying everyone should do the same,I'm just saying in my case it did no harm/damage to my baby.

I think having a cup of coffee or 2 a day and having the odd glass of wine a week won't do any harm,especially if within the guidelines. I think its more about what other people may think and various guidelines that produce the guilt that comes with having a little drink,alcoholic or caffinated but unless its done to extremes throughout pregnancy I don't think it does much,if any,harm. As they say "a little bit of what you fancy does you good" smile

ChangeNameToday Tue 07-May-13 19:37:51

Hi TravelHappy. I bf'd for a long time and, obviously, over time you are feeding gradually less often. At the start I would wait till after a feed to have a drink, then it has time to pass through your system. Of course, unless you are following done crazy rigid feeding plan, you should be feeding on demand so there's bound to be an occasion where you've had a glass of wine and unexpectedly baby needs attending to.

ChangeNameToday Tue 07-May-13 19:40:51

Oops, posted too soon. Was going to add that I didn't drink like a fish or anything, was certainly never "drunk", it was just a glass here and there but it didn't seem to bother DS on the occasion (rare) that I might have just put my glass down and run into him. Who knows? Perhaps it helped!

But yes, in general, you shouldn't drink much and should time it for after a feed.

smile

Karoleann Tue 07-May-13 21:46:52

http://www.bjog.org/details/news/4608611/BJOG_study_Light_drinking_during_pregnancy_is_not_linked_to_adverse_behavioural_.html

Seems fine! Decent journal too.

I had 2 glasses twice a week with all three of mine. First two were born before the caffeine recommendations too, so just drunk coffee and coke as usual.

Like most things, moderation is the key.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Tue 07-May-13 22:03:19

I had a pint of 3.4% mild at 14 weeks and two glasses of champagne at 16 weeks - not on the same night. I feel no guilt at all about the occasional drink.

I usually drink decaf tea and coffee, so really it's only if I'm having coffee out that it's an issue, so probably 2/3 cups of caffeinated tea or coffee a week. I probably have a can of Diet Coke every other day, and quite possibly make up the rest of my caffeine allowance in chocolate!

MummyJetsetter Wed 08-May-13 08:12:16

With regards to breastfeeding I drank quite a lot and did it, I would express the 10.30 pm bottle earlier in the day but the 2 am feed I would just do. I did it drunk on the odd occasion too. I was under the impression having researched that very little alcohol got in to the milk but rather it just affected the taste of it. My ds didn't seem to mind. x

A friend told me she had a glass of wine everyday during her last pregnancy (and she was a 'mature' mum at 45!).

I drank - not a lot, and certainly got everyday. But then, I also ate runny eggs, pate, soft cheese, raw milk etc, clearly I'm an awful mother.

Just be sensible.

pictish Wed 08-May-13 09:21:51

I do!
Slange! {grin]

With regards to BF - again, I never drank much (I'm not a big drinker by any means anyway, even now not pregnant or BF and I might have 1-2 drinks a week).

Featherbag Wed 08-May-13 09:23:36

The change in guidance from 1-2 units once or twice a week to none at all wasn't based on any new research by the way, it was just decided to change it as too many women interpreted this as 'well, if 1 or 2 is ok, 5 or 6 will be too'. There is far more evidence to say a little alcohol in pregnancy is either harmless or beneficial than there is which proves it harmful.

Sparhawk Wed 08-May-13 09:34:12

I worked with a young girl with FAS, I didn't touch a drop when pregnant with DD it's absolutely not worth the risk.

Yup, it's alot easier to just say 'no alcohol at all' rather than nit-pick about units and amounts - as a lot of people don't really know what a 'unit' consists of any way.

Guidlines may say 1-2 units which I know is one small glass of wine (125mls), but others may think 1 unit = 1 glass of wine filled all the way up which could be up to 250 mls. And if 1 unit = 1 glass they might have two glasses, which means they may drink up to 500mls, whereas I would only drink 125mls. Big differences, so it's a lot easier to just say don't drink it at all.

I'm not, though I wasn't much of a drinker before though, so it's not like I'm giving up anything tbh.

My mother-in-law drank a bottle of wine a day with her now 4yo DD, and amazingly she was born healthy and is a smart, lovely little girl. And then you read about mothers who binge drink when they don't know they're pregnant and give birth to babies with FAS or FAE, even if they're tee-total from getting their positive pregnancy test.

shufflehopstep Wed 08-May-13 09:53:37

Just adding to the comments on bf and drinking. The alcohol is in your milk for the same length of time as your blood so 1 unit takes an hour to leave your system. Studies have shown that babies seem not to like the taste of alcohol so will take less milk or be fussy. This was certainly the case with my daughter and so she generally wanted feeding sooner. I found it easier to try to express in advance if I was going to have more than one drink and that gave me a bit longer for it to get out of my system.

sarahtigh Wed 08-May-13 09:53:50

it may be easier but it is not scientific or evidence based

I hate the attitude that pregnant women are particularly stupid regarding alcohol and what a unit is ( they are no more stupid about this than general population) about food smoking drugs etc etc etc

I would think a leaflet that said the following have been proved scientifically to potentially harm your baby

1. smoking
2. excess vitamin A from liver etc so avoid pate/ liver etc
3, excess alcohol especially in form of binge drinking or daily use
4. excess caffeine termed as ( more than 4 cups instrant coffee or 2 espressos or what ever exact number is

these may harm your baby not because of the food itself being harmful but because these types of food are more likely to cause food poisoning eg seafood, blue cheese, soft or raw eggs etc

and so on in this style

including positive things which are proved to help like folic acid and iron in cases of deficieny

the following may be helpful in helping with labour and recovery

I think people should know whether guidelines are based on hard facts ( like NICE) or a sound bite to make it "easier" which unfortunately NHS guidelines are in many fields not just pregnancy

cerealqueen Wed 08-May-13 10:49:18

Generally, did not drink in pregnancy, one glass of wine on birthday. Guilt and worry that I'd want more than 1/2 kept me off it.

I drank 2/3 cups of normal tea every day and had 9lb babies.

I have drunk wine and I am breastfeeding. Never to drunk though., max, three small glasses after a mea.

Bumpsadaisie Wed 08-May-13 11:17:56

Goodness me I don't think you need to be feeling guilty!

In the first three months with mine I didn't drink caffeine, as the taste made me heave. Couldnt stomach alcohol either at that point, I had pretty bad sickness with them both and lived on coke and sherbert lemons and a few crackers.

After the first trimester I felt much better. I probably had three cups of tea/coffee a day. I also had half of a small glass (you know, the round goblet kind you get at church fetes, etc) of red wine, with my supper, EVERY night without fail. It was something to look forward to in what otherwise was rather a slog.

DCs are fine. In fact they are hale and healthy and showing signs of great intelligence! grin

If I were to do it again, assuming I even felt like drinking it, I would avoid alcohol in the first tri. Other than that I would do the same again.

TravelHappy Wed 08-May-13 11:25:55

Thanks to ChangeName and others for their experiences of breastfeeding. I was an enthusiastic drinker before getting pregnant but I really wouldn't be having even the one glass if I honestly thought it was doing any damage and I'll take a similar approach to breastfeeding even if that means abstaining for a few months.

mmmerangue Wed 08-May-13 11:36:16

I drank tea like it was water, started taking sugar in it too.

I was graduating Uni before I found out, so in v. early stages I had a LOT to drink. Yes I feel guilty about it - but wasn't to know and thankfully have a healthy 2 year old now.

I probably had 3 alcoholic drinks during my pregnancy after I found out - each one made me violently sick and I still can't drink red wine (think I developed an allergy, but haven't been tested, just avoid it now).

I am not one to comment as i enjoy my cups of coffee although i know caffeine intake should be kept to the bare minimum but its something i enjoy and have done with all my pregnancies which par from one turned out healthy. But i have cut down massively and try my best to drink juice or tea the majority of the day as that has less caffeine.
As for alcohol it isn't a risk im willing to take as a regular thing, only maybe if there was a celebration and even then probably only a small one.
I think drinking and smoking in pregnancy isn't worth the risk and the damage it may or may not cause isn't worth it Imo.

Kaekae Wed 08-May-13 11:44:51

I'm not pregnant but didn't drink at all during both pregnancies, I went off red wine and coffee completely which I was thankful for really as I do love strong coffee and it can't be instant. However, I wasn't all good because I really craved runny eggs and I ate a few of those.

bicyclebuiltforfour Wed 08-May-13 11:55:28

Agree with ChangeName.

My second pregnancy was in the US. Here, if you admit to having a mouthful of alcohol your entire pregnancy, the sharpened sticks come out to drum the evil mother out of town. However you can apparently be as fat as you'd like and feed your growing baby nothing but junk and nobody seems to judge confused.

LCR77 Wed 08-May-13 12:32:41

I really think it's a matter of personal choice. This is my first pregnancy and think that having alcohol/caffeine in moderation is perfectly fine within the recommended limits. I have a cup of coffee first thing at work then decaff rest of the day and I really look forward to my glass of wine every week.

At social occasions I've been drinking Becks Blue and Alcohol Free Kopparberg which are great alternatives.

Have also had runny eggs and parma ham smile. Would rather not be stressed worrying about every little thing.

I don't judge others who decide to be super cautious so don't expect to be judged by my choices either.

sosooootired Wed 08-May-13 12:39:13

my very lovely consultant at the portland said that a glass of wine to relax mum is a good thing..but just don't finish a bottle!

matana Wed 08-May-13 12:41:22

In the first trimester i had none at all - just didn't want it, went completely off it and probably wouldn't have had it even if i did want to because i wanted to reach the 12 weeks mark first regardless. In the 2nd and final trimester i had a glass of wine maybe twice a week. I went to Glastonbury when i was 18 weeks and had a white wine spritzer (nice and refreshing for summer, lower in alcohol) maybe once a day while i was there. But then i also ate seafood and a chocolate mousse made with raw egg (accidentally i might add) while i was pregnant. DS has certainly suffered no ill effects.

sparechange Wed 08-May-13 13:15:40

These may have already been posted, but I've found these, both from reputable journals and organisations
http://www.rcog.org.uk/news/rcog-statement-bjog-study-suggests-light-drinking-pregnancy-not-linked-developmental-problems-c
http://www.rcog.org.uk/what-we-do/campaigning-and-opinions/statement/rcog-statement-nice-guidelines-alcohol-consumption-dur
http://www.rcog.org.uk/news/bjog-release-danish-studies-suggest-low-and-moderate-drinking-early-pregnancy-has-no-adverse-ef

A friend had her first baby in France and said that when they went for their first scan, they were told everything was fine and they should go and have a glass of champagne each to celebrate!

When you look at the huge inconsistencies around the world on what you can't eat/drink/do when pregnant, it really does make me hmm
If eating certain foods were so harmful, wouldn't you expect to see much higher instances of problems in countries that don't caution against them?

sparechange Wed 08-May-13 13:15:57

These may have already been posted, but I've found these, both from reputable journals and organisations
www.rcog.org.uk/news/rcog-statement-bjog-study-suggests-light-drinking-pregnancy-not-linked-developmental-problems-c
www.rcog.org.uk/what-we-do/campaigning-and-opinions/statement/rcog-statement-nice-guidelines-alcohol-consumption-dur
www.rcog.org.uk/news/bjog-release-danish-studies-suggest-low-and-moderate-drinking-early-pregnancy-has-no-adverse-ef

A friend had her first baby in France and said that when they went for their first scan, they were told everything was fine and they should go and have a glass of champagne each to celebrate!

When you look at the huge inconsistencies around the world on what you can't eat/drink/do when pregnant, it really does make me hmm
If eating certain foods were so harmful, wouldn't you expect to see much higher instances of problems in countries that don't caution against them?

Livinglavidafoca Wed 08-May-13 13:24:43

Agree with changenametoday. I did not drink at all during my pregnancy but I had rum and raisin ice cream maybe twice and some people DSIL judged me because of it. hmm

rainbowbrite1980 Wed 08-May-13 13:26:24

i drank one drink a couple of times a wqeek during my first pregnancy - the second two I didn't but only because I went off it completely. I also went off coffee, and have never liked it since! Fortunately, I regained my liking for wine! I did drink tea whilst pregnant, one cup in the morning, after the first 12 weeks, and other than that drank peppermint tea. I've breastfed three children and drank alcohol normally - I mean normally for a mum of three children who has to get up early, not normally for when I was a student!!

honeytea Wed 08-May-13 13:30:13

I drank a glass of wine a week after around 16 weeks. I loved it so much, I would run a lovely hot bath also evil I know on a friday night and sip my small glass of wine. Often we had plans on a friday night so some weeks I missed out on my bath/wine so I would say I drank 1 glass every other week.

Coffee I drank loads and loads of really strong coffee.

I live in Sweden and alcohol in pregnancy is a huge sin (I just didn't drink my one glass of wine socially) but coffee is seen as fine in any quantity.

Now I am breast feeding and I drink 3 low alcohol (2.8/3.5%) beers when I feel like an alcoholic treat, I am not worried about the alcohol going to the baby, I looked into how much alcohol my milk will have in it and it is something like 0.04% alcohol I don't think it would in any way effect my baby.

I don't drink wine now but mostly because it goes to my head very fast and I don't want to feel drunk and in charge of a baby.

Enjoy your pregnancy OP smile

Frogcatcher Wed 08-May-13 13:32:22

Rum and raisin ice cream?!! shock Some people need to get a grip. I'm only just over 4wks pg & found out v early at 11DPO. What would have been two boozy nights over bank hols were therefore sober instead but if I hadn't been using super-sensitive tests I would never have known & I'm sure so many people would have just drunk without realising. I'm now going to totally avoid until after scan & then be sensible after that. Schloer is currently keeping me sane when DP is drinking white wine!

islingtongirl Wed 08-May-13 13:33:18

I'm currently 24 weeks and drink 1-2 cups of normal tea a day - couldn't live without it! Herbal teas apart from that and been having decaf coffee instead of normal. Eating chocolate too smile

As for drinking - I have had the odd sips here and there, was 6 weeks over xmas and had a sip of champagne a couple of times. Had about an inch or two in a glass over May bank hols and about half a small glass with my mum a few weeks ago .. that's about it I think. I am totally not against drinking within the recommended guidelines (as others have said about 1-2 units a week or thereabouts) but tbh I have just gone off it, and although tempting sometimes I just don't think I could manage whole glass and my tolerance will be so low now, I think I would feel a bit ...well guilty I guess, if I had a glass and felt woozy, which is probably silly as I know rationally it is unlikely to do baby harm. But I can say I am definitely looking forward to having a nice glass of champagne/wine when I have had baby and am definitely going to have a drink or two whilst Bf'ding if I want to.

islingtongirl Wed 08-May-13 13:33:55

ps I found out I was pregnant after a VERY boozy xmas work lunch...and baby seems fine so far!

Featherbag Wed 08-May-13 13:44:15

Pumpkin, you can't lump drinking and smoking in together, as there is lots and lots of evidence that any smoking at all harms a developing baby, while there is research which proves light drinking has no harmful effect! Smoking in pregnancy is a pet hate of mine, I can't bear to see a pregnant woman smoking (although I'd never say anything as I'm aware it's none of my business).

MummyJetsetter Wed 08-May-13 13:48:16

For those who have said they drank very early until they got a bfp, that's no problem as the placenta isn't fully formed yet and the baby is nourished by the yolk sack which isn't in any way linked to your body. I think this is up until 6or 7 weeks so no harm done before that no matter how much you drank.

Ps I also eat runny eggs. Chickens are vaccinated these days and in the rare instance you did get a bad one it would only make you sick, it wouldn't affect the baby.

x

honeytea Wed 08-May-13 13:50:44

I just googled the problems coffee in pregnancy can cause (I drank lots of coffee as there is no advice to avoid it in Sweden) it said babies born to coffee drinking mothers are smaller. My ds was 10 pounds, thank god I drank coffee, he might have been 13 pounds if I had avoided it!

dilys4trevor Wed 08-May-13 14:00:14

Interesting on the smoking vs drinking thing. I remember being on a pregnancy site that was US based and they were all going mental about how one of them had seen a pregnant woman with a glass of wine, but then it became apparent alot of them thought smoking in pregnancy was OK, as long as you cut down shock

I think different cultures have different views. Generally, it seems the Brits are very anti smoking in pregnancy but OK about the odd glass.

I drank about one glass a week when pregnant at the end, but nothing until then.

Anyone else found this US and UK divide?

ExpatAl Wed 08-May-13 14:19:29

You can lump smoking and drinking together. The campaign against smoking was very effective in altering the national consciousness but the anti drinking thing never took off in the same way. It's pretty clear though that neither have any benefit for a child.

JoJoManon Wed 08-May-13 14:20:41

I am 10+3. I have had a glass or two of fizz/wine about 4 times over the last 10 weeks, at weddings/hens and primarily so people don't suspect I'm pregnant. I don't feel remotely guilty about it. I even had a cigarette which I do feel a bit guilty about I have to say, though I don't plan on beating myself up over it.

As someone pointed out, the guidelines for zero alcohol is for people who don't know how to self moderate. The fact that you actually care probably means you are not one of those people so don't stress about it and certainly don't let other people judge you for it.

bicyclebuiltforfour Wed 08-May-13 15:58:50

Expat: there's a difference between not having any benefit and causing harm.

Smoking has been clearly shown to both provide no benefit AND cause harm (to both baby and mother, during and after pregnancy: a baby growing up in a smoky environment will suffer).

Alcohol (in the small quantities we're discussing here) probably provides no benefit (other than relaxing the mother) but has not been shown to cause harm.

You simply cannot equate the two.

badguider Wed 08-May-13 16:32:40

I drank lots in the first few weeks - it was xmas and new year (got bfp on 6 jan) and we'd only been off contraception for a few weeks and really didn't expect it!
But at that stage, the egg and sperm are just floating down the fallopian tube, getting it together and burrowing into the uterus wall (implantation) so nothing in the mother's blood stream can possibly get into the egg (which isn't even an embryo at that point).

Blueberry68 Wed 08-May-13 16:53:33

Here here ChangeNameToday

Dillydollydaydream Wed 08-May-13 16:56:18

No wine for me sad really fancy it though. The smell of alcohol really makes me feel ill, so does the smell of coffee and I can only just manage a small cup of tea.

Pinkyorkbunny Wed 08-May-13 17:17:28

After becoming pregnant very soon after having a miscarriage, I didn't want to take any chances so did not drink - which was my prerogative! I've made up for it since though

I don't really mind whether people drink or not wine.

I've had a very stressful evening with the dc, dp has a jippy tum so i am seeing to the wee feckers.

ds is 18 months and never behaves for me in any situation <major daddys boy> so i have spent the last 2 hours saying ''stop touching the unit/don't jump on the couch/ give it to dd/right mr - bed/ where the bloody hell have you gone?! How did you get there/ for crying out loud waaaaaaah''

So once i've got the buggers fed and bedded i'm opening a tin of dps carlsberg and i'm going to enjoy it!

Bunnylion Wed 08-May-13 19:06:20

bicylebuiltforfour and dilys4trevor definitely a UK/USA divide on thoughts on alcohol. My ILs are American and have all but driven me insane with a recent visit - monitoring everything I have eaten, drank, breathed, even things I've touched incase there are harmful to the baby. I am a walking womb carrying their grandchild with a stupid ignorant woman attached.

On their last night here I told DH that I may murder the entire family if they make one more comment on my pregnancy. He had a word and I enjoyed a big glass of red wine over dinner, with them both silently about to burst watching me.

They have also pointed out that epidurals are the modern way of doing things and breast feeding has no benefits at all and just gets in the way of the father bonding with the baby.

detoxlatte Wed 08-May-13 19:15:01

Agree with ChangeName.

Also, each human processes alcohol and caffeine at different rates. Generally, most people can filter a glass of wine without it entering the bloodstream (and therefore the placenta). Not sure about caffeine.

I would have a glass of wine a week (or so), but was never a big drinker anyway. Two mugs of tea a day.

TinkyPeet Wed 08-May-13 19:29:52

I have a cup of coffee in my hand or most of the day if I'm honest, but I have always been a coffee addict, I have even 'topped up' with a can of monster if I'm on a late shift (when I was still working) and it has kept me normal an sane, I haven't had a 'drink' mainly because if I was to have a glass of wine, I would want the bottle, same with a crafty half, I would want a few pints lol, so I just don't bother but it hasn't bothered me x

Xmasbaby11 Wed 08-May-13 19:36:44

When I was pregnant, I had a cup of coffee a day. I didn't drink alcohol at all. My DH is a social worker and has studied foetal alcohol syndrome and worked with many children who have suffered from it. He feels strongly about abstinence during pregnancy and I gave up out of respect for that. I'm not sure I would have drunk at all anyway, although I always told myself I could have a small glass of wine if I wanted to. I never did.

Many of my friends had a couple of units a week, which is supposed to be fine. I wouldn't judge them for this.

MamaBear17 Wed 08-May-13 19:40:20

I drank decaff tea and coffee all through my pregnancy - I found out that I was pregnant very early on. I didnt drink at all until after my 20 week scan, then I allowed myself the odd, very small, glass of wine (perhaps 4 small drinks across the last 4 months - my midwife told me that with a small glass of wine my body would metabolise the alcohol before it reached the fetus therefore there was no risk to the baby.) I was an incredibly nervous first time mum so I made the decision that I felt most comfortable with.

chickieno1 Wed 08-May-13 20:22:35

I m 17 weeks with my second, had 1 small glass of wine last Saturday. Probably drank alcohol for about a week early on before pos preg test.

With ds I drank a few glasses but at the very end of pregnancy at special occasions.

In n. America now and wouldn't dream of drinking in public here, probably wouldn't get served!

Gave up coffee 1st jan as a money saving exercise so was easy to stay off it when found out was pregnant. Probably had 2/3 strong ones a day before that.

FOURBOYSUNDER6 Wed 08-May-13 20:48:53

I did not drink alcohol or caffeine (my philosophy : no nutrients for baby or anything beneficial - only potential harm so what's the point ???) I did not really miss it either , even at wedding or other special occasions .... However I desperately missed my prohibited food !!!! As soon as baby was born dh cooked me a meal full of sea food and pâté and soft cheeses ... Yum !!!! Absence makes the stomach grow fonder. In fact, I think I got annoyed by people 'pressurising ' me to have 'just one drink ' when I was pregnant and I did not want one !! 'Go on, you can have one etc etc ' grrrr

Cakebaker35 Wed 08-May-13 20:52:43

I didn't know I was pregnant with my DD until around 8 weeks and so had been drinking like a fish on a holiday, then regularly up until I knew I was pregnant, eek, felt horribly guiilty. I then had only the occasional small glass of wine, perhaps once a month, but found I started to go off it later on so from around 6 months I had none. I'm not a coffee drinker but drank tea by the bucket load, but did try to cut this down to 2 or 3 cups a day as I felt guilty when someone I know told me they cut caffeine out completely. So much guilt out there isn't there?!

Debs75 Wed 08-May-13 20:58:00

I drank and smoked quite heavily before I got pregnant with DD1 I stopped as soon as I got pregnant because I didn't want to take any risks, however small or supposed. I can honestly say I didn't really miss it, I guess I was more focused on having a baby and that drove out any desire. Well that and horrendous all day nausea which only went with having disgusting ginger biscuits all day.

I didn't drink or smoke whilst breastfeeding either. Re the smoking I became one of those awful ex-smokers who hated the smell and would walk away from smoking people. I still enjoy a good drink but I have never drunk whilst pregnant or whilst breastfeeding. I have just had a very long dry spell of some 5 years whilst I had 2 DD's close together with long spells of breastfeeding. It didn't bother me though at all I don't need a drink and can go long spells without wanting a drink.

I don't like coffee either, the smell makes me heave but when pregnant I actually liked the smell.

ellangirl Wed 08-May-13 21:36:08

No alcohol, but I drank maybe 5 cups of strong tea a day, plus plenty of family bags small bars of chocolate (also containing caffeine of course) and the occasional diet coke. Perhaps this is why my darling dd is permanently wired and never seems to sleep ha ha!

TrixieLox Wed 08-May-13 21:36:25

People shouldn't feel guilty as long as they stick to health guidelines!

I do have a caffeinated tea once a day if I feel exhausted. And who can resist a daily dose of chocolate (also has caffeine in it)?

My ivf clinic think any drop of alcohol is feto-toxic and are very anti any alcohol in pregnancy. So I kinda stick to their advice as it's thanks for them I'm pregnant (also, I'm one of those people who struggled to stop at one glass or two pre-pregnancy, ha ha!) But I wouldn't judge anyone who had the odd glass a week, as long as it's within the guidelines.

As others have said though, it does wind me up when people (eg, my sister in law) tell me I'm being ridiculous following guidelines cos 'people coped fine without these guidelines years ago'. Well, not really cos there were more cases of gestational complications etc back in the 'good old days'!

But overall, as long as you stick to guidelines or, if you do find yourself breaking the odd rule, don't do it excessively so, than no need for the guilt!

working9while5 Wed 08-May-13 21:46:04

I had a sangria when on holiday with ds2 and resented every second of it. I'd been told I would probably miscarry after an early scan where I was measuring too small and I was really irritated that I could only have one as I fully expected the pregnancy wouldn't last.

It did, but I had a few bits and bobs of alcohol during it. Pear cider here, a baileys there. Not probably one a week but not specifically because I was pregnant, I don't really drink regularly as it is. I had less during my first pregnancy but I did have a few hot wines at Christmas markets and champagne at weddings. I get sick a LOT in pregnancy (to week 29 in both pregnancies) so I bet I hardly ever had any.

Only decaff coffee for some reason - I think probably because I had a notion it was more dangerous in terms of miscarriage and I threatened miscarriage for most of the first trimester so avoided pretty much everything other than that one sangria.

Most, if not all, the 'advice' given to women about what to avoid during pregnancy is about controlling women's behaviour rather than public health. So do what feels comfortable and right for you - if drinking any alcohol at all is going to make you worried and miserable for the rest of the pregnancy then fine, avoid it. If a couple of glasses of wine once a week make you happy and relaxed then ignore the (totally medically ignorant) whinyarses who try to tell you your baby will be born with webbed feet and no eyes or whatever.

And the two biggest risks for pregnant women and their unborn babies are lack of access to good maternity care and domestic violence.

Rockinhippy Wed 08-May-13 23:21:15

I'm another who gagged over even the smell of coffee, DH picked up on that & similar with seafood & certain cheeses & guessed I was pregnant - this was very early too - I couldn't bear to even near coffee for the whole if my pregnancy, yet I LOVE my real fresh ground coffee.

I also gagged at spirits, before I knew I was pregnant, I'm not really a wine drinker, so that was never an issue, but I was fine with beer & would have the odd bottle if I went out & I did drink several bottles at my wedding, I figured as I had been so good, letting my hair down just the once would be fine & it was smile

fibrecruncher Thu 09-May-13 00:13:25

I'm 24 weeks. The midwife said a glass of wine is ok so have been enjoying one a week, but I've become very fussy- it needs to be good stuff and preferably champagne. DH is French and a fab cook - its just odd not to have a nice glass of wine with whatever delicious dish he's prepared.

I switched to decaff tea and coffee, was just easier to manage and then I could have as many cups as I wanted. Sainsburys does a great decaff Colombian filter so haven't felt at all deprived.

Also quite enjoying the alchohol free beer.

Mamabear12 - I completely understand why you feel guilty - I've felt like there is a lot of pressure around almost all apsects of pregnancy. Whether it's what travel system to buy, or how 'natural' you can make the birthing process. smile

somanymiles Thu 09-May-13 03:07:54

Wow, you are all very good at not drinking! I had no caffeine with each of my DC since it doesn't agree with me anyway, but probably a couple of glasses of wine once or twice a week. During the last week with DC3 I had a can of Guinness every night at the midwife's suggestion as I was having so much trouble sleeping. Oh, and I drank more than that while breastfeeding, but never more than 3 glasses of wine over an evening. I did drink non alcoholic beer too while pregnant and found that satisfied my desire for a "drink".

yearoftherat Thu 09-May-13 03:23:07

I had a couple of glasses a week and then once baby was born a regular pint of Guinness whilst I was breastfeeding.

emmyloo2 Thu 09-May-13 04:09:33

The current guidelines where I live are no alchohol at all. I don't drink at all while pregnant, but then I am not a big drinker anyway. I do have caffeine though. 1 cup of coffee, decaf tea and a couple of diet cokes.

Re the cheese - there was a couple of recent cases of listeria recently in soft cheeses causing one pregnant woman to miscarry. So the risks are there, it's just they are small risks.

Xalla Thu 09-May-13 05:19:50

I drink tea every day, prob around 3 / 4 mugs. I don't really drink coffee. I have a glass of wine or a bottle of beer about 3 nights a week with dinner and have done from 12 weeks. I did the same with my previous two pregnancies. I don't smoke.

Everything in moderation imo....except smoking obviously.

DreamingOfTheMaldives Thu 09-May-13 08:51:06

I probably have 1 or 2 cups of coffee a day (not fresh, just a decent instant - don't know if that makes any difference to the amount of caffeine). I also usually have one cup of tea in the evening.

I drink a glass of wine once a week. Very occasionally, I will have a second glass at some other point during the week.

I have bottles of Becks Blue which are nice but may have to try the Erdinger Wheat Beer. Wish I could take some bottles of either of these on holiday with me on Saturday.

Good for you BunnyLion!

RiotsNotDiets Thu 09-May-13 10:48:00

I didn't drink till I passed 37 weeks, Then I had a small drink at gatherings, so probably three times before DD was born. However I had been on a couple of benders and been smoking like a chimney before finding out I was pregnant at 6 weeks so I's been feeling worried and guilty about this throughout the entire pregnancy. Once she was technically able to function on her own I felt a bit safer and indulged a little.

BlingLoving Thu 09-May-13 11:03:32

I am not sure why I post here as these threads are all the same - the people who think any drinking of alcohol or caffeine are BAD and those who think a few drinks/cups of coffee won't do any harm.

But I can't help it! grin.

I was told by the private doctor who helped me get pregnant that a glass of wine a couple of times a week would be fine and in the third trimester a small glass a night would be fine. As for coffee, I think your body tells you - I went off it completely utnil about 14 weeks then had one small one a day. I refused to stop drinking tea although only had about two cups a day.

I agree with whoever said upthread that as the guidelines are different in different countries if there was any real concern, we'd see much higher rates of miscarriage or other problems in those countries where the wine/caffeine/cheese rules are not highlighted.

SGB has it right - it's all about control. Not just by the "establishment" but every Tom, Dick and Harry who thinks they can tell a woman what to do the moment she's pregnant. No one stands around glaring at people smoking, even though we all know it's harmful, but a woman gets pregnant and every paternalistic patronising person out there thinks its okay to comment. Absolutely infuritiates me.

Autumn12 Thu 09-May-13 11:36:38

I had 4 or 5 glasses of wine during my 2nd Trimester. Avoided it totally during the 1st (well after I realised I was pregnant, had a couple of big nights out in the very early days before I knew).

I haven't had anything so far in the 3rd trimester, mainly because I'm now visibly showing and feel awkward about people judging me if I were to have a glass of wine with lunch or dinner out.

Zoep22 Thu 09-May-13 11:51:23

I do not feel there is anything wrong with havin the odd cup of coffee or glass of wine

RiotsNotDiets Thu 09-May-13 12:26:17

Autumn I had a small glass of wine in a restaurant at a family meal at around 38 weeks and got glared at by the waiters and the other diners hmm

rootypig Thu 09-May-13 12:32:05

grin at BunnyLion, good for you. There should be an American ILs support thread. My MIL has been completely unable to mind her own business have a life at all since I got pregnant with her first grandchild.

I avoided alcohol in the first trimester, as I read that that is the highest risk time. I drank probably about a glass once a week in the second trimester, but I had quite a nervous pregnancy, in terms of my fears for the baby's health, so by the third I was pretty much teetotal again.

All that said, I agree with SolidGoldBrass that in this country and many others, many whose instinct it is to control women's behaviour leap at the chance that pregnancy offers to do so. I think that this much more widely accepted in America, with its more conservative political landscape. Women should make their own choices and be told that that's ok. I drank plenty of tea and litres of coke at one particularly nauseous point ate runny eggs and seafood and quite a few McDonalds cheeseburgers, avoided liver and pate, quit smoking in order to conceive. While breastfeeding I have been very relaxed about drinking and had one or two cigarettes.

The fact is, from the moment I conceived I started making choices for my child, balancing my need and hers within the realm of what is possible. This is going to continue for a loooong time and there is no way I can or should make all those choices for her benefit alone. Partly because my needs and desires still have a place here, thanks - though there are plenty of right wing fruitcakes who would happily erase that from the equation - and partly because you are bonkers if you think you can protect a child from all harm, even known ones.

rootypig Thu 09-May-13 12:33:25

Autumn I got told off by a Sainsburys cashier for buying a bottle of wine! wasn't even for me, FFS, not that it would have been any of her business if it was.

PicardyThird Thu 09-May-13 12:39:09

I kept off alcohol completely - apart from a sip of champagne on my 30th birthday when 12 weeks pregnant with dc2 - for roughly the first half of each pregnancy. After that I had a glass of wine every couple of weeks.

When pregnant, I try to keep to what is currently considered as the safe caffeine limit - I have either one coffee (made in a French press) or two cups of tea and some decaf coffee a day.

Autumn12 Thu 09-May-13 12:43:04

A pregnant friend of mine got lectured by an older woman for standing in the alcohol aisle of a supermarket with her partner. She wasn't even looking for herself. It's crazy how some people think they have the right to comment.

Funnily enough the friends partner is a scientist and was perfectly happy for his partner to drink moderately during her pregnanc,y because his scientific knowledge plus the studies he himself has undertaken reassure him that the risk is low unless you are drinking heavily.

rootypig Thu 09-May-13 13:34:22

I'd be interested to know if anyone had a disagreement with their partner over the risks? DH was very relaxed, thank goodness - though he knows that I researched things and took the choice seriously.

gourd Thu 09-May-13 13:38:51

I had wine on my birthday, half a glass but otherwise none.

RoxyLady Thu 09-May-13 14:00:01

Im dont drink at all because Im too worried about harming my baby more than my own selfish needs.

BlingLoving Thu 09-May-13 14:27:05

rootypig Not me and DH no because DH knew that a) I had done my research and was making sensible choices and b) we had discussed those choices and the rationale behind them and c) he gets that it's my body, my choice. He was bloody grateful that I went through the whole pregnancy thing and did whatever it took to make it easier for me.

But I have met couples who have their DH hovering like little old ladies around children with muddy feet, "are you sure you should have that?" " I don't think you should be eating that".

One friend's DH tried to do the same to me. Needless to say he was quickly, firmly but politely told where to stick it.

sheeplikessleep Thu 09-May-13 15:37:19

At the in-laws at the weekend and was told 'sheeplikessleep can't drink it' as the bottle of white wine was being offered around with Sunday lunch.

I did smirk (inwardly) as my MIL was quite happy to smoke endlessly and in every room in the house whilst we were there. Seriously, I'd take the occasional glass of wine over passive smoking any day.

Jembop Thu 09-May-13 15:46:18

I didn't drink in the first trimester once I found out I was pregnant bar half a pint of cider at a festival, but did have a very small glass or two - or three - of wine most weeks after that if I fancied it.

I relished ordering alcoholic drinks with a massive bump!

While breastfeeding, I have had a few drinks most weeks if I feel like it. If I want a night out and more than one drink I'll express enough for a few feeds beforehand.

I had my baby just before Christmas and had a glass of fizz over the festive period - when I mentioned this to the midwife she gave me a real dressing down and told me not to drink at all. I was quite upset and stopped drinking completely, for a few weeks.

My FIL won't offer me wine now if we're eating with them, which annoys me immensely. Especially as MIL said she drank through pregnancy and while breastfeeding and he always buys really good wine

Jembop Thu 09-May-13 15:48:25

Meant to add - I didn't drink any coffee except decaf, and pretty much the same with tea bar the odd cup. The coffee shop opposite work does a fab proper freshly ground decaf and I get a bit of a funny tummy with too much caffeine which I wanted to avoid.

FoofFighter Thu 09-May-13 15:50:06

Roxylady:

biscuit

or should that be:

wine

1789 Thu 09-May-13 15:58:47

moderation is definitely key! i definitely don't worry about the occasional glass of wine or cup of coffee. but i wouldn't touch aspartame-laced diet soda when i'm pregnant (or not for that matter)!

happyyonisleepyyoni Thu 09-May-13 16:15:22

after the first 12 weeks I had my 2 units twice a week every week, and enjoyed it. so there.

stayed on that regime while BF for the first few months but after the first 6 months alcohol intake gradually went back to pre DC levels. Have a healthy and bright 2 year old with an alarming taste for white wine now though!

Teaandflapjacks Thu 09-May-13 17:12:53

Mmmmmm. I put a counter argument in - just to give a balance of views here, partic when some new pregnant women may read this. My ten cents:- I spoke at great length to my very experienced Gyn. here (germany) on this - she is an infertility expert and helped me after a year of trying, a miscarriage last year, before I fell pregnant with my little one currently cooking. She said yes there are many conflicting reports, however the fact remains alcohol passes over from the mother to the baby via the placenta, and the developing baby cannot filter it out in the same way. As such there is no known 'safe' limit, since when you have a drink it could be at a crucial stage in the babys development. There are some major known issues with some of the studies - such at the 2012 Danish one, where 51% did not respond - was this because they had drunken, even a small amount, and their children had issues? We have no idea of the real impacts of this - in so much that issues such as dyslexia, for example, could be caused from this (my docs words not mine). I have a friend who tucked into two or three glasses a week - her baby was born with a heart defect. I have another friend who tucked into 5 glasses a week - her baby has delayed motor and cognitive functions, I have another friend, who's mother drank a few glasses each week during pregnancy with her - she has a heart murmur and dyslexia. I could go on. How do we know this is not from drinking in utero? And look at the level of mental health issues in the UK - 1 in 4 I think - how do we know this does not correlate in some way? Where is the proof it doesn't? We know so very little about the brain and cognitive functions in reality. This is nothing to do with standard IQ tests. It is effectively 8 1/2 months give or take - if you are unaware for the first month your are pg (and at this stage it is ok since embryo not yet implanted) - and we have such great alcohol free beer options these days. The same like just don't smoke. The point is yes you must not give your life over to a child - but when the baby is in your womb, there is nothing they can do about it. Once they are out -drink away if you want to - via FF or expressing or feed timing etc.

Anyway for me - I have severe MS throughout so I have no desire for alcohol - and have an alcohol free beer occasionally. I have the odd cup of caffeine tea but mainly de-caff. But I don't judge others who do drink at all - their choice, but I would say something if a friend smoked while pg probably, if anything to offer support to help them stop. But likewise I get a bit upset when people think I am being a bit over top and say 'oh go on, you can you know, it is just to control women this advice' etc etc - no it isn't in my view, and I am not going to ram it down your throat so please don't do the same back to me, kind of like religion I guess. And on the DH aspect - he would have gone with whatever I want, but he was clearly relieved when I said def no alcohol, since it is half his child too - he has also done his research and sat with my Gyn. and heard her views, and I think he has some say in it personally.

bicyclebuiltforfour Thu 09-May-13 17:49:40

Adding another American insight...

When I told my insurance company I was pregnant they went through a patronising 'quiz' with me over the phone to 'help' determine my risk of premature birth or something. One of the questions was whether I drank any alcohol. I, stupidly, said yes, about a glass of wine a week. The nurse I spoke with gave me the full 10 yards about how I was harming my baby and then said she had to check the box of 'drinker' on my form. This would result in my OB being contacted and me likely being recommended for 'help with alcohol'. I managed to convince her not to but still... Not sure if this was an American attitude, my insurance company's, or just a poorly designed form (where one sip is viewed in the same way as a bottle of vodka a night) but it was pretty shocking to me. Since that point whenever anyone asked whether I drank, I replied in the negative.

fibrecruncher Thu 09-May-13 17:50:44

Well said/drawn FoofFighter and RoxyLady the post from Mamabear12 clearly says no bashing please. I'd suggest if wanted to write one about condemning women for having a glass of wine during pregnancy you should start a new thread. As for being selfish, yes indeed. I'm finding pregnancy incredibly difficult. After 30 odd years my body for the time being is nolonger mine in so many aspects, that is not easy to adjust to. And I cheers to that! http://cdnmn.com/emo/te/wine.gif

MrsFruitcake Thu 09-May-13 17:51:26

Both times I went off coffee, but would drink about 2-3 tea-cups (the small ones with a saucer) of milky tea a day.

No alcohol in first pregnancy until about 20 weeks and then only a tiny glass when the mood took me, which wasn't often In the second pregnancy, i had about two glasses for the whole pregnancy, both times on special occasions.

it was a concious decision to not drink alcohol though.

honeytea Thu 09-May-13 18:04:17

The Swedish attitude to alcohol extends to worry about how much alcohol the husband/partner drinks. We had to fill out a form at my booking in appointment and the questions included "how many drinks did you drink each week pre pregnancy" as well as "how many drinks do you drink each week" whilst pregnant.

I have a friend who's dp works in promotion for a drinks company so drinks a drink or 2 4-5 nights a week, maybe not a healthy amout to drink but non of the midwifes business really. He was sent to a quit alcohol group confused

I conceived ds on a particually boozy skiing trip, it was the month before we were due to start IVF and I had had a scan of my overies and was told I would not ovulate that month so I just enjoyed maybe a little too much alcohol and tried to forget about the IVF starting the month after. The alcohol I drank was all before my period was due, I actually think it was all before implantation but on my pregnancy notes it still mentions this alcohol intake as a worry.

Squitten Thu 09-May-13 18:37:41

I don't drink coffee but will have 2 or three cups of tea a day. I have about a glass of wine per week. If we are at home on a weekend, we will sometimes buy a bottle to have with Sunday lunch and that will be my glass. It's not regular though - I haven't drunk any alcohol for about 3wks now because we haven't been home at weekends.

I had my booking in appoint two weeks ago and when I said I drank a glass per week, the midwife gave me a very polite smack on the wrist and said I shouldn't drink any at all. Awkward...!

Bunnylion Thu 09-May-13 19:19:10

Really interesting to hear how it is seen around the world.

I guess there is a whole spectrum of cautiousness when it comes to drinking alcohol, where you decide to sit on that spectrum is 100% your choice. So long as all women are fully informed and free to make their own rational decision then it's not anyone's business to pass judgement either way.

Personally, I have a couple if drinks if I want to. I don't want dirty looks when I do, just as much as I wouldn't want anyone telling me I should drink if I decided not to - 100% the mothers choice.

I think that's what my number 1 big irritant is when it comes to my pregnancy, everyone seems to want to tell me what to do. Like I'm no longer an intelligent and capable person able to make sound decisions. Glad to see there's so much support and positivity on here instead.

Teaandflapjacks Thu 09-May-13 20:38:21

To be honest ladies I think bunnylion has it spot on - well said chick. I was just putting in the opposite view - not flaming or whatever the wording is for this stuff likewise when people say people like me are being daft or being controlled or whatever it is. Not quite sure what another poster meant but there is no need to start some weird thread condemning women on having a drink! Women have enough to put with without attacking each other. confused I was certainly not doing that, I sincerely hope it did not come across as such, but this is a forum where we are able to have free speech on, I hope usually with common decency, and in the interests of impartiality adding some info that I would hope would be taken at face value as a wish to help other women make informed choices if they come on here looking at both sides of a very difficult debate. xx

WhentheRed Thu 09-May-13 20:53:13

For both of my pregnancies, I was drinking quite heavily before I found out I was pregnant. I didn't drink at all afterwards. I think having a glass of wine a week, or even more frequently is fine. After all, for many of us of a certain age, our amniotic fluid no doubt contained a fair few units of alcohol, not to mention the smoking.

However, even though my logical self told me it would be fine, my "sky is falling" self told me that it would be just my luck if something did go wrong, and I couldn't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life looking at my child knowing it was my fault.

Tea if I can't get decaff.

Alcohol on special occasions.

In fairness, I am a cheap date pretty sensitive to both, so that single glass at a special lunch has me squiffy enough not to consider driving. Ditto caffeine - one coffee has me twitching like a meerkat.

Didn't have a drink last night but today has been awful both dc have been just terrible so i'm having a bottle and am happy smile

TrixieLox Fri 10-May-13 13:37:39

I reallllly don't think the NHS guidelines for pregnant women are an attempt to 'control women'. ;-) I mean, really?! What about the guidelines for healthy prostrates / testicles etc for men? Is that an attempt to control men?

They're guidelines. That's all. Really no need to read into them.

RoxyLady Fri 10-May-13 14:31:09

I didnt bash. I gave my opinion for myself.

It's my first pregnancy, and I have the odd glass of wine and (more than) the odd cup of coffee. Feel guilty about it all the time. Especially as, in general, I have no idea what I'm doing! Pregnancy is the hardest thing I've ever done!

MrsBri Fri 10-May-13 14:35:05

I've had a handful of glasses of 4% stuff since the start of the second trimester, which coincided nicely with Christmas!

And I did have about 3 glasses of wine on my wedding day at 3+5 as I figured it was too early to matter, though I didn't drink again in my first trimester.

I don't drink often at all, but figure the odd glass of low alcohol is fine.

I have about 3 cups of tea a day, but don't like coffee. I've not changed to decaf.

TalkUsernameYoudLike Fri 10-May-13 15:08:34

Throughout my pregnancy I probably had about 4 small glasses of wine overall.

Featherbag Fri 10-May-13 16:58:16

Roxy, go back to polishing your halo, I think you got a bit of smug on it.

RoxyLady Fri 10-May-13 18:40:39

What is there to be smug about? Odd comment

Joskar Fri 10-May-13 22:41:13

Please don't feel guilty. It's not as if you are on the batter every night. I have the odd unit here and there and I'm certain it's not harming anything. I have this good book by Dr Linda Geddes called Bumpology that lays out the scientific evidence about booze, caffeine, cheese etc. See if you can get a hold of it because it is very reassuring.

olivertheoctopus Fri 10-May-13 22:51:27

I can't keep up with the changing advice about alcohol consumption in pregnancy. One glass a week is fine and not going to lead to foetal alcohol syndrome. I don't drink tea or coffee anyway (don't like it) and have a completely non scientifically based theory about Diet Coke causing my recurrent mc's but post 20w, Diet Coke is fair game and I drink 1 - 2 cans a day.

Queazy Sat 11-May-13 09:11:31

I gave up coffee and wine until 16 weeks. Then had occasional coffee. After 20 weeks I now have a coffee every morning and one glass of wine at the weekend. I really look forward to both. I'm more worried about my chocolate and cake consumption to be honest...I've been really bad at stuffing myself with empty calories. Thank god for vitamins smile xx

DietPregnancyResearcher Mon 22-Jul-13 18:02:43

Hello,

My name is Vicki and I am a researcher at Oxford Brookes University interested in dietary intake and alcohol consumption during pregnancy. I am currently recruiting pregnant women to take part in a dietary survey. It takes about 20 minutes to complete and you could win £50!

If you know anyone who is pregnant who is not on this thread then please forward this link to them.

Please visit the website to take the survey or for more information www.eatingandexpecting.co.uk

Thank you! : )

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