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The things people say

(59 Posts)
Simian0 Mon 22-Apr-13 19:44:20

Am 40 weeks+ 3 and have been getting floods of 'advice' from people as to how to get things started. It's made me reflect on all the things people have said over the past few months. I don't know about you guys but being pregnant seems to attract a number of comments/advice/opinion from people (known and random) about everything to do with your pregnancy. Thought it could be fun to try to capture some of the funnier ones here.

What types of things have people said to you during your pregnancy that have made you roll your eyes back in your head, or made you want to drop an anvil on them?

Things like....

1. "Make sure you get plenty of sleep to see you through when the baby comes" - like you can 'bank' sleep reserves. If you could wouldn't we all do this all of the time anyway? Sleep for 48hours non-stop then don't again for 6 months. Genius!

2. " it's best not finding out the sex as it's what keeps you going through labour" - like if I knew it were a boy or a girl I'd be tempted just to give up half way through and not push the whole thing out!

3. "Ooh, you're all out the front so it must be a girl"

4. "Ooh, you're all out the front so it must be a boy"

These have all amused me untold over the months.

Any to add?....

MoottonBun Mon 22-Apr-13 19:48:47

5. "Ooh shouldn't you be bigger than that by now?" Exactly how big should I be?

I get this a lot. Grrr.

RJM17 Mon 22-Apr-13 19:51:55

Oh u know because u have had bad heartburn your going to have a girl.

Bad heartburn means your baby will have loads of hair!!

I'm only 10 weeks so don't think it has anything to do with hair or the sex lol x

mrspaddy Mon 22-Apr-13 19:52:34

You know x (woman up the road) ended on crutches during pregnancy.. another got alopecia.
Makes you really confident ... hmmmmmm

mrspaddy Mon 22-Apr-13 19:52:57

oh and another one.. you lose a tooth for each pregnancy. .. I love that one

SomethingOnce Mon 22-Apr-13 19:53:03

I bet you'll end up saying 1. to somebody in a year or so grin

Bunnychan Mon 22-Apr-13 20:06:54

"You've had a growth spurt- I think you're having a boy"

This annoyed me for two reasons
1) it was from a doctor and if I wanted to know the sex, I'd have found out.
2) she measured me completely wrong according to my mw.

I find the "yo're carrying high so it's a boy/ it's a girl; you're all in front so it's a boy/it's a girl; you haven't put weight on anywhere else so it's a boy/it's a girl" hilarious- no one knows- they all say the same for boy and girl! X

YummyMummy17 Mon 22-Apr-13 20:07:41

Oh your rather big... Must be twins!
Must it? hmm

Don't use SMA for your child... It's really bad for them
Seriously? My mother and all her family used it for all the kids

Heartburn means lots of hair

Shaiandbump Mon 22-Apr-13 20:11:30

'' OMG YOUR HUGE, HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING'. - bore off I'm measuring behind for my dates knobhead

'oh your having a girl, you've got one of each now you can stop' - ill have 16 children if I friggin wanted to, bore off.

Simian0 Mon 22-Apr-13 20:18:16

grin These are brilliant! Love the tooth one! WT...??

@SomethingOnce - you're probably right. I'll remember to slap myself for it at the time. wink

honey86 Mon 22-Apr-13 20:21:20

'are you sure youll cope with another? i mean are you sure?'

<when i split up with oh> 'you might wanna have a long think about whether you can cope alone, and if you wanna continue with this pregnancy.'

angry insensitive swines angry

spanky2 Mon 22-Apr-13 20:26:41

Enjoy the rest. Really ?! I would if I didn't feel so bloated ,bored and hot!
That drove me mad! The hair and heartburn was true with ds2 .

lollypopsicle Mon 22-Apr-13 21:03:02

"don't waddle, it's bad for your hips" I'm not doing it out of choice!!!!

NTMummy059 Mon 22-Apr-13 21:11:15

"don't find out the sex .. Its the best suprise ever!" ok I get that people like to find out at the birth as its exciting.. But its not really the greatest suprise - everyone knows its either a boy or a girl!

enjay0811 Mon 22-Apr-13 22:39:51

40+3 here too - the phone calls, txts and messages asking if there's 'any news' is getting wearing. Like I had the baby last week and didn't tell you!! grin

Stepawayfromthesweeties Tue 23-Apr-13 06:27:16

I'm so disappointed you're not finding out the sex, how will I know what colour to buy?? Well I'm extremely sorry for ruining your shopping trips but we'd quite like a surprise thanks!!! And there are a lot more colours out there than blue or pink, grrrrrrrr

YummyMummy17 I am also getting the "ooh it must be twins" thing. I've started telling people "only if one of them's made of cake!" grin

The irony is, I've lost weight since getting pregnant, and I'm right off eating cake at the moment! sad

LalyRawr Tue 23-Apr-13 06:56:20

"Not had the baby yet then?"

Said when I was the size of a small block of flats and waddling like a professional penguin.

"Oh, yes I did, but then I ate it which is why I'm still so big."

Trazzletoes Tue 23-Apr-13 07:02:33

What used to wind me up was when I couldn't sleep during pregnancy - up at 3am every day without fail and people would say: well it's good practice for being up all night when the baby comes.

Really? I need to practice that? I don't think so.

And to be honest, I would prefer to sleep while I have the opportunity to do so.

Trazzletoes Tue 23-Apr-13 07:03:52

And one of my favourite websites for directing people to:

www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com

Forgetfulmog Tue 23-Apr-13 07:10:09

Huh wait til you've had the baby & all you'll get then is "is he/she sleeping through yet?" Or "is he/she a good baby?" She's a baby! I didn't realise they could be "good" or "bad"!

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Tue 23-Apr-13 07:11:43

You're looking better, you've looked like death warmed up for months. <err thanks>

And when very pregnant with dd I got this from a random stranger

You must be carrying a girl because you have clearly put on loads of weight on your hips and bum <err fuck off bitch>

Not sure why it is acceptable to tell people they look shit just because they are pregnant I've started sweary ranting and it's only 7am, this could be a long day

ArtemisTheHunter Tue 23-Apr-13 09:04:38

I've had that too hopeful. "I guessed you were pregnant because you look so pale and tired". Really, Sherlock? Well done to you for spotting that I look shit but failing to notice the large and obvious bump.

My favourite so far was a (female) colleague last week who pointed out to a mixed meeting room of about 12 people how huge my cleavage now is. Cue 12 pair of eyes swivelling round to stare at my chest. My cleavage isn't huge. I'm a D, which is one cup size bigger than my pre-preg size. If she comes out with that again I might have to point out that my tits are only massive when compared with hers grin.

"Everytime I see you, you're bigger"

OF COURSE I FUCKING AM YOU IDIOT. I'm not going to get SMALLER am I????

sheeplikessleep Tue 23-Apr-13 09:17:14

By text ... "Oh, third boy? (sad face) nevermind."

Grrrrrr angry

megarobotdiscoparty Tue 23-Apr-13 09:23:58

People at work moaning about how I'm able to take 9 months "holiday" and they're not.

HumphreyCobbler Tue 23-Apr-13 09:34:39

People who confuse morning sickness (which is vile) with hyperemesis (which can be a life threatening condition and mostly needs hospital treatment) are most annoying. I just say that I have had morning sickness in previous pregnancies and it is NOTHING like hyperemesis.

knittingirl Tue 23-Apr-13 09:40:22

I've also had the "oh not sleeping now is just your body preparing for when the baby comes and you need to be up in the night". Really????! I thought it was more because there's something inside my stomach trying to beat it's way out, and kicking my bladder, but there you go...

WentOnABearHunt Tue 23-Apr-13 10:28:28

'are you STILL pregnant' - Looks that way doesnt it! hahah

MummyJetsetter Tue 23-Apr-13 11:00:37

I've also had the "oh you're having a boy, never mind!" (There are lots of little boys in the family already)

I'm showing early in this pregnancy, the amount of people who have said it's twins is ridiculous! There's only one for sure!

This was after my ds was born and i was breastfeeding, my grandmother in law told me I shouldn't eat cauliflower because it will give me and the baby a bad tummy!

curlyclaz13 Tue 23-Apr-13 11:01:34

Receptionist at work every week if I dare say I had a bad night sleep/woke at 3/4/5/am ooh that's what time the baby will wake up. Every week for months now.

SourSweets Tue 23-Apr-13 11:02:19

"You're quite small, how far along are you?"

Six months.

"Really? Are you sure?"

Am I sure?!

LoganMummy Tue 23-Apr-13 11:12:59

"Wow, you're huge! Are you sure it's just one?"

"How are you feeling, you look terrible?!"

Thanks.

Bunnylion Tue 23-Apr-13 11:25:31

Waiting by the photocopier at work...

Co-worker: "My sister was like you when she was pregnant."

Me: "oh yeah, how so?"

Co-worker: "she ballooned out on the back as well as the front too."

Me: dragon

Bunnylion Tue 23-Apr-13 11:27:53

Also endless, "are you sure it's not twins? Oh, well have they measured the baby?"

No - I've not bothered with hospital and midwife appointments, just going to wait and see what and how many pop out.

SourSweets Tue 23-Apr-13 11:28:49

Oh I forgot the best one I ever had. On announcing my pregnancy to work colleagues...

"Oh my God, are you happy about it?"

No, I'm not continuing with it but I just thought I'd share it with you all first.

Bunnylion Tue 23-Apr-13 11:32:01

soursweets lol grin

MummyJetsetter Tue 23-Apr-13 13:13:44

Ha ha soursweets! Some people must just think all pregnancies are unplanned and just think you've messed your life up! x

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 23-Apr-13 16:18:48

Oh yes the bump speculation. I had everything from 'Is it twins?' To 'Are you sure they have your dates right?' and my favourite Well it's not going to be a small baby, is it? Er she was 5lb 4oz!

Put sleep in the sleep bank is ridiculous. At 9 days old although the amount of sleep varies its better quality than waking with awful heartburn and being in agony with my bladder!

beth27123 Tue 23-Apr-13 16:23:32

"Are you really keeping it?" no I just fancied telling you before I got rid. Why does age always have to = chances of keeping a baby. Im happier about this baby than my married, 31 yr old now pregnant relative.

Vocalista86 Tue 23-Apr-13 17:14:18

beth I'm 27 and married and was overjoyed but a very good friends first words after I told her were 'oh, are you keeping it'. EXCUSE ME?!

purrpurr Tue 23-Apr-13 17:34:17

The doom and gloom brigade:
Me: <Insert absolutely anything here, from Oh I'm a bit tired, to Oh it's Tuesday>
Them: IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE.

FIL when finding out we were having a girl: Oh that's such a shame for [DH].
Me: hmm and why is that?
FIL: Oh well he won't be able to do anything with a girl, they don't play.
Me: <spitting feathers> angry angry angry

FIL, when I had the audacity to have a chippy tea in the early months: You'll need to watch your figure, you don't want to disappoint your husband by becoming fat.
Me: <picking feathers out of teeth> grrrrrrrr

My DM: You'll have to have an epidural, they let you have your husband in the delivery suite if you have an epidural you see.

Said in a way that seemed to imply the epidural was a way of making a labouring woman behave herself in an appropriate manner so that her husband would not be appalled by her behaviour. grin

My DM, ever since I got past 12 weeks, said with enthusiasm and glee: You could deliver at any time!
At 25 weeks plus: Oh I'm so excited, you could give birth any day now!

Me, mentally, over and over, and then very loud ranting once she'd gone: WHY do you want me to have such a premature baby that she would have to be hooked up to all kinds of wires, tubes and monitors just to SURVIVE let alone thrive????

Not sure I'll ever forgive her for that. I'm 38 weeks now. Apparently I'll give birth on Sunday according to her, think as long as I give birth before my due date, she'll be able to smugly say she predicted an early birth for the rest of time. On Sunday I am sitting down and concentrating on keeping my cervix and general fanjo area well and truly shut, aside from wee breaks...

Sorry for the major ranting but ohhhhhhh that feels better!

Slippysnow Tue 23-Apr-13 19:54:12

May I join...

After a former colleague found out I was pregnant and subsequently spread it to whoever would listen before I stepped through the door, launch upon me grilling me to death with questions despite me not knowing her very well.

Was it planned?
I bet your hoping for a boy so you can ask for -best friends- stuff
What are you going to do about work? - before I could reply to this she was already telling me I couldn't do what I planned (this is really expert knowledge that I'm convinced she has researched prior to this conversation)
I attempted to walk away at various points she just doesn't get it!
It's the fact that I barely know her and now I'm pregnant she feels that she can ask such personal questions. What's wrong with people!?

drawohamme Tue 23-Apr-13 20:24:10

Every time I go near any food whatso ever an otherwise lovely older colleague says 'don't touch your stomach whilst you're craving! (Cos all eating is cravings?) You'll give the baby a birthmark!

SomethingOnce Tue 23-Apr-13 20:57:36

I've never heard that one!

I reckon s/he made it up for a laugh or is secretly a MNer and wanted to make it onto this thread

MummyJetsetter Tue 23-Apr-13 21:11:00

My god purrpurr! I don't know how you haven't committed murder yet! Sounds like your dm is just being a bit thick, don't hate her forever! x

Giggle78 Tue 23-Apr-13 21:20:35

I am 32 weeks. This is in the last few days.

"Wow you look massive".
"You look like you are about to burst"
"You are much bigger than XX" (I am due one week before XX. She is 5ft 10 and this is her first baby. I am 5ft and this is my second dc).

I am going to get bigger.
I am aware that my 26" waist is now 41".
I do not need people to comment every where I go on my body.
I am very happy to be having this baby. Poo bum willy bum wee to them all.

mrspaddy Wed 24-Apr-13 08:31:14

Oh my god.. if I had to give an award to the most insulting comment a woman got on here it would have to be 'another boy.. sad face'... what a disgrace.. People are so weird.

TrixieLox Wed 24-Apr-13 10:18:06

I've had 'em all, including 'oh, I bet your husband's gutted' from a work colleague when I told her we're having a girl. WTF?

I also hate it when people say 'so-and-so's bump was much bigger at your stage' as they give me a worrying look. I don't mind the 'you're huge' ones but it's the 'small bump' ones that irrationally worry me! I start to wonder if the baby's disappeared or stopped growing!

The ones that realllllly annoy me are the 'why on earth can't you have a glass of wine / bit of pate / some brie, women ate stuff like that before all the guidelines came out and we all turned out fine' (from my sis-in-law). Plus: 'God, you're already letting this baby rule your life, surely you can come out clubbing for one night'.

Oh, and then there's the 'God, can't believe you're breast-feeding, it's disgusting, boobs aren't meant for THAT. And doesn't it chain you to your baby? Ergh, I'd never breast-feed' (again, from sister-in-law ;-)

Gonnabmummy Wed 24-Apr-13 11:58:57

Me and DP work in the same place so we are constantly bombarded by all sorts. Worst one i think when colleague being a total prat gets snappy reaction and is like 'ooo she's all hormones stay away from becca today!' No your just an idiot.
Staff room full, eating tea. "Omg are you not scared I wouldn't know what to do if I was pregnant now" yes because your single and weren't planning a baby!
And to the breastfeeding. "You won't do it out of the house will you!" No when I venture outside I just won't feed dc!
Almost everyone outside of work first said we all thought it would be Samantha way before you! Samantha is my younger sister shes only 17!!!
And all the huge comments too.

LabradorMama Wed 24-Apr-13 12:47:02

Trixielox - that is unbelievable! What, exactly, does she think they are for???

Petcat Wed 24-Apr-13 14:37:10

Yesterday, on the bench waiting to hear baby's heartbeat at my 34 week antenatal check.

Midwife: oo, you've got a really weird shaped bump

Me: sad

I had "are you doing it the cheaters way this time? "In regards to the fact I had an epidural!
1) this girl still had drugs just not that one?!? So no idea why It was just me that "cheated"
2) I don't make the decision to not have pain relief when having a filling etc ...... Is this not the same thing?
3) I must have missed the medals they hand out to all those superior women who didn't use drugs like me

Bunnylion Fri 26-Apr-13 14:56:21

TrixieLox your SIL sounds like a moron.

SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou Fri 26-Apr-13 16:51:23

"Don't complain about being bored, you'll wish you were bored once DC is here!" hmm

"You're really big aren't you, you wont go to 40 weeks!" (I went 2 weeks over)

syl1985 Fri 26-Apr-13 17:11:39

It's nice to share with people that you're pregnant, but people find it difficult to remember that there're still some things you keep private or you simple don't wish to talk about with others.

With my other pregnancies people thought I had twins, because I had a big belly.

Do you know what it's? Are you going to find out what it's? I hate these questions.
Some even ask that when you're only a couple of weeks. Like if it's important what it's.
It's a baby you idiot!!!

I wasn't even 20 weeks yet and someone asked me if I know the name. First of all that might be private, second no, I don't know the name yet.
Hoo, you got to hurry up with the name!!! I was annoyed and said: I've got still 20 weeks to go, more then enough time to think of one.

With my first child I was waiting and waiting for him to come. Someone said to me to have sex with my partner.
And even said my partner should finger me, because that will make the baby come faster.
THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!

I'm only 1.60 metre high.
hoo that must hurt when you get the baby. You're only small, so you must also be small down there too.

I also hate it when people want to touch my belly.
Most of who want to touch it just do it without asking.
But if they ask what to say to them?

You got to stay nice to them. Same as people who want to touch newborns or see them as soon as possible when they're born.

I soooo hate that.
My body and my baby are not public property. I want to share my happiness with everyone. But at the same time I want everyone to respect my privacy.

After my first was born my brother was even unhappy that he wasn't the first to know about it.
We sent a text message or an e-mail to everyone we know at the same time. He wanted to be the first and get a more personal message.

HELLO!!! I've just given birth. I've other things to do then have a phone call with you and tell you all the ins and outs of the delivery.

It's not always easy being or becoming a parent. Especially with all the idiots around us these days who thinks that someone who is pregnant doesn't have any privacy anymore.
They seem to think that it's ok to say anything and to touch whenever they want!

shelli135 Fri 26-Apr-13 17:40:49

After you've had the baby.........'now the hard work starts'...

No... Really???? I thought it would come out walking and talking and be. Able to feed itself.... Silly me shock

BelissimaLol Fri 26-Apr-13 18:37:53

I've collected a few....
- wow you have left it late haven't you? (I'm 39)
- how old??? Have you had ivf???? (No!) - wow you are lucky!
- you must not find out the sex. You should only hope it to be healthy. Cause if I know the sex I won't mind if its not healthy!
- you must not come back to work full time ( cause they after my job!)
- you will have to hurry up and have a second one straight after cause you are so old (and if I don't want another one?) - are you crazy!? Only children are full of problems. Thanks, I'm an only child.
The list goes on...

Steffanoid Fri 26-Apr-13 20:08:37

My work colleagues kept asking and commenting that I'm going to have to give birth soon, the response of well he's coming out one way or another freaks them right out and as soon as you say you've got a possible name but aren't telling anyone all you get is but you can tell me though.. Sorry did I say we aren't telling anyone but you even though we've not told our families?

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