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Embarrassing Pregnancy Bodies

(57 Posts)
waitingtopop Sun 17-Mar-13 10:40:33

Ok so there's a few things that have been happening recently but my main issue is I'm 38 weeks and at night I constantly waking up with a wet pillow cos I can not stop drooling! This is just another Bloody thing Waking me up at night along with heartburn and constantly needing to pee (6 times last night!!!!)Please tell me I'm not the only one this is happening too and does it go away after birth ??

Well I'm not drooling, but I had a thread the other week about sitting on the loo while operationally constipated, tried a bit too hard, got a nose bleed. After sorting that out I was had to open my brand new box of caneston then after I had done with all that, I had to find the sudocrem for Percy the pile

Oh the glamour grin

#sensationally not operationally blush

waitingtopop Sun 17-Mar-13 10:52:07

Haha! Operationally constipated lol
Oh the joys of pregnancy!!! Not long to go now!

Casmama Sun 17-Mar-13 10:53:45

I remember pregnancy drooling! I was not aware of drooling pre- pregnancy and it stopped after I had my son.

vamosbebe Sun 17-Mar-13 10:57:59

Oh yes, the drooling, particularly attractive when you nod off on the sofa hmm
Also had wicked heartburn to the point where I had a bowl by the bed to spit into, boak!
Luckily I wasn't to bad with the peeing but I was farting like a carthorse from about week 30, mortifying at the time, hilarious now looking back, PARP!

Tinkerbell2203 Sun 17-Mar-13 19:43:06

Oh my life, thought it was just me!

Am drooling spectacularly, can't believe it when I wake up in the night and find my pillow soaked and have to wipe my mouth.

Its horrible!! I don't understand it at all, whats going on?

cupcake78 Sun 17-Mar-13 20:07:25

Peeing myself while, coughing sneezing, laughing, vomiting in fact just peeing myself.

My boobs leaked at around 20 weeks for one day. I was mortified.

Night sweats! Horrible things to the point where everything i am wearing is soaking and the pillow, sheet and duvet are wet. They start the night before the hormonal instability kicks in and usually result in days of tears and tantrums.They last a few nights every few weeks along with the insanity.

Burping and farting to the point an alcoholic tramp would be impressed.

I have also had the piles and thrush experience. At least it gave me the chance to make sure I had enough antacid tablets for the next few days.

I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment! confused

riskit4abiskit Sun 17-Mar-13 21:43:20

Confession - I have always been a pillow Drooler to my shame! Have now got the opposite problem which is really really dry mouth all night long. I wake up with a huge swollen tongue I can hardly move.

LoganMummy Sun 17-Mar-13 21:57:23

Glad it's not just me oozing glamour at the moment. Can't decide which is more attractive - the drooling, snoring from permanent blocked nose, peeing all night, awful heartburn or the fainting.
My DH really is lucky to have me smile

SunshineOutdoors Sun 17-Mar-13 22:01:16

Even before I fall asleep I'm aware of the drool coming out of the side of my mouth. Pregnancy is the least glamorous time ever.

Loganmummy oozing is certainly correct, not glamour though hmm norks, nose bleeds and fair amount of pant snot blush

waitingtopop Sun 17-Mar-13 22:04:17

I'm so glad I'm not the only person suffering from the lack of glamour in pregnancy haha
The list is endless and don't get me started on thrush.. It's almost a permanent part of life for me at the moment had all the tests for diabetes and everything else that could cause it but no it's just plain old thrush. SO IRRITATING !!!!!

Sparklyboots Sun 17-Mar-13 22:23:47

I have nightly nosebleeds to combine with the ridiculous amount of snot I have into great big blocks for my nose, which mean I can only breathe with my mouth open and have a completely dry mouth by the morning. And a sore throat from the snoring. I don't have piles, I just have a huge pile. My belly button is inside out and I'm very bad tempered. It's pretty much the same as my first pregnancy, after which I swore I'd be good at it next time. But I'm not, my pile is bigger, my mood is badder and my snoring wakes up DS and DP. Plus, I have to prepare for coughs or sneezes when my bladder isn't completely empty. Which I can't do when I'm asleep, obvs. Night times are just glam central in the Sparkly household.

weeblueberry Mon 18-Mar-13 10:37:13

Oh yes. This is definitely a conversation I can take part in. My tummy has a fine down of hair on it now - that I can put up with. I'm finding stray hairs on my nipples - again, it's not the end of the world.


I also seem to be developing hair in other places I've never had it until now. Namely my, um, backside. Because I have very dark hair it's exceedingly unpleasant. sad To the point that I'm fearing for the poor midwife if I have to give birth on all fours. She's going to be frightened that a bear has managed to get into the labour suite...hmm

<waddles off to check arse for hair> wink

DaveMccave Mon 18-Mar-13 11:30:53

Hairy arse and belly here too! My hair growth slowed with DD, so I'm wondering if this one is a boy? I've given up on my eyebrows too, growing far too quickly.

dinkystinky Mon 18-Mar-13 11:31:22

Drooling, tick. Night sweats, tick. Unusual hirsuteness, tick. Teenage spots, tick. Don't have puffy face, ankles or fingers yet but know its on the way....

SourSweets Mon 18-Mar-13 12:18:08

Haha I love this thread. So good to know I'm not alone. This morning I woke up needing to run to the loo with diorreah (again) but fell over trying to get out of bed as SPD made one hip and bum cheek completely seize up, got to the loo and immediately got a huge nosebleed. Am now hobbling around he house trying to pack before we move on Wednesday but every time I lift a box a fart comes out and I can't stop scratching my belly because the skin is so tight and stretched. Damn gurl, who wants a piece of this hot mamma?!

glossyflower Mon 18-Mar-13 17:36:40

Oh my god someone else mentioned night sweats!!
It's not just me then?!
I wake up every night sometimes more than once after getting so sweaty the bedding is wet. By the time I wake up from it I feel cold not hot! So bizarre.
Last night I tried laying on top of the bed with a loose fitted nightie and a thin fleece blanket, although I was cold all night, it seemed to be better!

fatandlumpy Wed 20-Mar-13 08:58:47


As well as snoring, drooling, sweating and farting in my sleep my long-suffering OH has to put up with the non-stop farting during the day as I propel myself around the house when I get in after work.

Also my acne is truly wonderous (I am trying to make a negative - a positive). My hair is like straw and so I look like a mad witch when it's down. I can't stop holding up my belly when I walk as the bouncing hurts (drives the OH mad!). My nipples are sooooooo itchy that I find myself unconsciously scratching them in public - I work in University education and so it can be a bit embarrassing when the students try and not notice.

I haven't seen my foo in a couple of weeks and I've been a bit lazy in keeping up with my 'personal administration'. OH is in the Army and he said at first he didn't mind as it reminded him of when he was a young soldier stationed in Germany (b*st*rd!), but now it's getting out of hand and he put in a special request last night. Not sure how I'm going to achieve it... but i said I'd try.

So far I don't have piles (runs out to touch wood!) as my pregnancy vitamins have given me loose stools (... silver lining and all that!).

So - apart from all that, stretch marks, huge veiny boobs with flaky nipples (plus a couple of random WTF hairs!) and a big fat bump...

... I am a GODDESS!

waitingtopop Wed 20-Mar-13 09:55:08

Haha oh I'm glad I put this post, it's defiantly made me feel better as I know I'm not the only one!

As for keeping up with personal administration I recommend a mirror in the shower that's the only way I've managed these last 9 months, oh and one bikini wax which will not be happening again until my hormones are semi normal - So much more painful than when your not pregnant ! As a beauty therapist I'm usually fine with waxing all areas but haven't even gone back there since that horrific experience with my bikini at 18 weeks!! Haha

BraveLilBear Wed 20-Mar-13 10:45:22

Plus one for nightsweats, increased farting (and seem to have lost ability to limit them to silent ones), food repeating all the time, yucky acid reflux breath.

Also discovered yesterday hairy bum cheeks (not checked for colour yet but am usually very dark haired), and hairy tummy.

And, when vomitting happens (as did yesterday - damn you ms returning at 22 weeks) I get petiachal bruises all over my face from the pressure, like a very fine red spotty rash, for a couple of days. Sexy.

TMI WARNING! I have IBS that is always worse in pregnancy. Last week after DP got out of bed I broke wind which released a massive blob of poo stained bowel mucus. I pulled the covers back and jumped out of bed to run to the loo but when I got back to bed Dp was standing by the bed looking really worried and asked if I was ok. Neither of us mentioned the mess on the bed.
That night when he came home from work he told me that he thought I'd miscarried and didn't know how to approach it with me.

weeblueberry Wed 20-Mar-13 11:28:21

fatandlumpy Ask your husband to do it! That's what DP has been roped into doing. I got a Lady Gilette type dohickey and am just planning on closing my eyes and hoping it doesn't look a state at the end!

He did say he wanted to be involved with the pregnancy wink

fatandlumpy Wed 20-Mar-13 11:33:45

Oh MotherofNations... I'm actually crying with laughter. It reminds me of the time, early in the pregnancy, of when I was having a particularly enthusiastic number 2 (sorry - tmi!), accompanied by a choir of farty noises and of course the numerous big splashes that signify a sloppy one. I finish with a gutsy nose blow, with additional final fart, get dressed and open the door.

... to find OH looking at his feet as he was waiting for me to come out.

Can anyone tell me why they want to have sex with us again?

fatandlumpy Wed 20-Mar-13 11:36:11

weeblueberry - erm. My OH plus sharp implant and my lady garden... somehow that scenario feels like that bit just before the music starts for the TV programme Casualty...

Actually - I might ask him - just to see the expression on his face.

I have one of those electric strimmer things for tidying up my 'garden' I'm so far managing with a well placed mirror and long arms grin one of my friends asked her DH to help her out with a little veeting just before she gave birth, he decided to take the whole lot off, he still thinks it's hilarious that the baby had more hair than she did grin

fatandlumpy I'm just grateful that I felt too ill to be truly mortified.
Next day he had a stomach bug and pooed his pants. I wasn't home at the time so I'm sure he only told me about it to make me feel better.

fatandlumpy Wed 20-Mar-13 14:22:49

Ah.. sometimes it's the simple things that prove they truly love us.

Sorry MoN, I'm crying with laughter here at work. I just had a mental image of you and your OH reminiscing...

"... ah Luv, do you remember the time when you shat the bed...?"

"Oh yes Luv... didn't you fill your kecks the day after?"

"Yes Luv... Love you."

"Love you too..."


fatandlumpy I'm going to promise not to ever mention him shitting his pants if he never again utters a word about me shitting the bed.

MoN that seems like a fair deal!!

SucksToBeMe Wed 20-Mar-13 15:42:03

These are all really funny! I am 30wks and the other day at work (quite a physical job with heavy lifting) i found that i had pood myself! blush

Don't know when or how!

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one. I've been keeping my knickers on in bed now to contain any "accidents" if god forbid it happens again.

MoodyDidIt Wed 20-Mar-13 16:34:28

oh god last time i got thrush and piles practically ALL the time

as well as the usual heartburn, nausea, constipation. sexy

oh the glamour of pregnancy.....

glossyflower Wed 20-Mar-13 16:45:57

Oh not to forget my mild vaginal prolapse which my hubby is a bit scared of lol

Havingkittens Wed 20-Mar-13 18:44:17

Despite fastidious wiping, I don't have a gusset in anything that doesn't smell of piss by the time I've finished wearing it blush. Pyjamas, knickers, leggings, tights. So vile.

Bunnychan Wed 20-Mar-13 19:33:48

This has made me laugh! I can sympathise! I had the start of piles but it seems to have calmed down lately, my boobs always drip leak and my new favourite is farting loudly without even feeling the need to do it! That's my most embarrassing one! So far, I've got away with it at work but we'll see! X

Thingiebob Wed 20-Mar-13 23:54:43

Great thread. I am continually horrified by my body on a daily basis during this pregnancy.

My nose feels so swollen inside I am having to use the BreatheEasy strips at night and often I 'forget' to take it off in the morning.

I have PILES which I have never had and are driving me nuts, Everytime I cough or laugh, I'm scared more are going to drop out of my arse. Have seen GP and been given some cream but they have taken a turn for the worse.

I 'leak' constantly so am using sanpro all the time.

I have bleeding gums which I've never had before.

I keep farting without warning. I am like a squeezebox.

I'm weeing like a racehorse.

And the best one of all is I have discovered my first white har, then a few days later, another. Then another and so on. My hair is streaked through with white. It's like it happened overnight!

Thingiebob Thu 21-Mar-13 16:16:57

Am I so repulsive I killed the thread? Only I wanted to update my list of ailments to let you all now I have now experienced the 'drool'.

MoodyDidIt Thu 21-Mar-13 16:19:55

Lol thingie grin


Havingkittens Thu 21-Mar-13 16:39:17

I went to meet a girlfriend for lunch and as I leaned over to give her a hug my nose dripped onto the table. I was mortified. Luckily she was also pregnant so just laughed with empathy.

MumofWombat Thu 21-Mar-13 22:02:32

I havent mentioned drooling to anyone - I thought it was just me!

No one really tells you about the unglamourous stuff before hand do they?

Mumof, it a brilliant confessional here isn't it smile we should write a book titled 'Pregnancy, the stuff they don't tell you but you need to know so you can buy the right creams, lotions, waterproofing and protection' grin

Dp working nightshift and must be bored cos he just sent me a txt asking me when I'm going to seduce him. My reply was "Did me shitting the bed not do it for you then?"

jbakedbean Fri 22-Mar-13 00:24:17

Thank you, thank you thank you. I've had a lovely giggle and at only 11 weeks with dc3 with teenage acne to make adrian mole jealous, random hairs on nipples, 1 stone weight gain, not to mention my oh saying "your personal smell is stronger since you've been pregnant" not quite sure what to say to that!!! Plus burping, farting and generally being a wind bag, and it's only just begun. At least with you lot here I know I'm not alone.

Must remember to do my pelvic floors, ive never had the wee issue and i deseperately dont want it ( i have a toilet phobia, as in will go to great lengths to run taps, go to the other side of the house, not use public loos etc so no one can hear me). Although not working a swell as I hoped, in week 8 I was driving to work 1 hr and had to pull over and have a Wildy wee in a field, and twice when out running. The shame.

pregnancy yoga teacher said pelvic floor exercises not only help wee accidents it can really help with piles. All fours and pull in bum pelvic floor as in to stop a fart. Even if it doesn't work it's funny trying.

leniwhite Fri 22-Mar-13 01:16:39

I'm 39+2 and feel like the most disgusting ball of stink and slime shock

Here's my list:

Piles that burst as I walk, yummy,
Sudden sweaty groin and crotch that smells like old wee,
Cleavage smells like cheese (the lack of separation from maternity bra+sweat) and boobs are now square,
All manner of horrific discharges,
Escaping noisy farts that can sound like someone clapping?!,
Random burps that just erupt when I'm talking (happened at work a lot),
Sudden loud snores that wake me up,
Sleep talking,
Bloody nose,
Acid reflux that I've actually coughed into my dinner once...
Weird white spots on my nipples that hurt and just showed up yesterday,
Sleep orgasms,
Weirdly waxy poos that refuse to clean up properly. All gross confused

BUT the weird thing is that normally i have acne, nipple hairs and greasy ish hair on my head, which have all completely stopped since I've been pregnant!

I have no dignity left anymore, and I've always been a gassy IBS gal so I'm pretty used to finding sneaky ways to disguise farts as something else or cause a distraction confused

We've only had sex 3 times in nine months because DP gets freaked out by baby going nuts when we try, so I hope all this does stop when baby arrives so we can catch up eventually...

Thingiebob Fri 22-Mar-13 09:18:42

Oh no! Do piles burst? I was sat on an ice pop last night, they were so uncomfortable!

leniwhite Fri 22-Mar-13 10:23:02

Mine do! Such a pleasant feeling, especially when you're just out shopping!

waitingtopop Fri 22-Mar-13 14:38:58

Uncontrollable farting is one that has definitely made an appearance recently.. I was stood in the kitchen talking to my mother in law and let off a huge fart with out warning.. She carried on talking as if to pretend she hadn't noticed but we all know she did and probably the rest of the street too!! blush

millasmommy Tue 23-Apr-13 19:52:08

i have to add my 5 cents to this thread.
my baby girl is 10 weeks old already and my bum fluff is slowly getting less! i had a terrible pregnancy, piles were so bad from about 7 months that i had trouble sitting, standing, walking, and lying down! And i grew skin tags on my nipples and also developed hair in all the wrong places! I also had to have a c-section and the epidural didnt take very well, so i felt like i was being butchered alive!!! on the upside, i never picked up excess weight or got stretchmarks, so my post-pregnancy body is still the same! i count my lucky stars that even after the piles and other weird pregnancy symptoms, my baby girl is big and healthy and has been sleeping 10-12 hours straight through the night since 8 weeks old! Hairy butt and all, i wouldn't have had it any other way.

drawohamme Tue 23-Apr-13 20:31:14

It's so lovely to hear that I'm not the only one with a DH totally put off by my 'undulating' belly smile

BabyHMummy Tue 23-Apr-13 20:58:51

Oh my life i am actually crying with laughter at this post!

As a pcos gal i suffer with embarrassing hair but have to say whilst my tash is now non existent my chin ones resemble an evil old hags.

Farts and burps tick
Acid reflex tick
Spd tick
Bleeding gums tick
Snoring tick

However i can beat the shitting the bed...this morning dp and i were having frisky moment...about to do the deed when the morning sickness hit with avengence...almost threw up on him but did make it to the bathroom just...a minor miracle considering the spd.

Rico08 Tue 23-Apr-13 21:06:24

Oh the feeling that my nose is constantly bunged up, which is causing piggy sounding snores. This is also causing me to sleep with my mouth open, so there is a river of drool on the pillow and I've woken up with wet hair - gross.
Huge burps when I take Gaviscon for the crippling heartburn.
Breaking wind with each step when I walk.
Damp feeling downstairs, conscious of old lady smelly bits
Row of spots on my face that look like a constellation.

And I'm sure there's more

rosiedays Wed 24-Apr-13 11:50:02

oh i've read this thread 3 times and laughed til i wet myself every time!

sunshine has brought on hey fever, oh the joy of sneezing!!!every sneeze is met with a little gush.
farting used to be a great reliese from bloting.... now piles bang together like wind chimes!
have rash on bump that itches constantly Px antibiotics.... says on lable.... take 1 hour after food and 2 hours before..... how the F**K can i go 3 hours without eating 4 x a day.... thats 12 hours???? (answers welcome)

Sharles Wed 24-Apr-13 11:51:10

I'm so happy I'm not alone. So much for beautiful hair, my hair is thin and dry , my face would give any pubescent child a run for their money. I could play join the dots on mine .To make matters worse I have severe SPD, where my muscle constantly trap my sciatic nerve causing burning pain in the groin area and legs. Aah The glow of pregnancy .

HeffalumpTheFlump Wed 24-Apr-13 12:42:52

Ladies this has had me cracking up! Glad I'm not alone... I'm only 15 + 3 and have had my fair share of embarrassing moments already!

I have PCOS and IBS that have caused me a few troubles! Firstly I tried to take pregnacare, which my IBS did not like... Cue me running through tescos with the 'I'm going to shit myself' look of panic... Only to find a queue out of the ladies and into the corridor. I ran for the disabled and managed to get there within nanoseconds of pooing myself. I then exit the toilet to see the queue of women staring at me and an angry looking disabled person demanding to know why I used the disabled loo. Sorry if TMI but the smell I left behind will have cleared up that mystery!!

Other than that I have had a general increase in PCOS related excess hair on my belly, boobs, bum and face grin not to mention the drooling, evil evil farts, fainting when trying to shave my armpits in the shower (???) and getting stuck on the toilet due to pelvic girdle pain... Cue a call to hubby: 'help! I'm stuck' accompanied by lots of crying/laughter. (crying on my part, laughing on DH's sad )

I fear there is much worse to come lol!

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