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In Agony - Did Anyone Else Binge Drink Before They Knew?

(96 Posts)
tsmith02162013 Sun 24-Feb-13 08:07:05

I am absolutely out of my mind with grief and need advice from real moms. The doctors I have spoken to have been so dismissive of my concerns, but everything I have read (and ever fiber in my body) tells me that something is WRONG.

I did not know I was pregnant. At what we now know to be four weeks (exactly) into the pregnancy, I drank two bottles of wine BY MYSELF in one night, over 5 or 6 hours. I was not sick at all, and I had no problems the next day. So, I drank more the next day- 3 drinks. And then I drank again the next day- 4 drinks.

I realized I was supposed to start my period the day after that, and to just put my mind at ease, I took a pregnancy test, which was POSITIVE.

My doctors say that they don't have enough data on binge drinking in early pregnancy, but they think I am probably fine. I just want to know if there is ANYONE who has had as much to drink as I did at 4 weeks pregnant and then went on to have a healthy child. I am SO SCARED of having caused permanent brain damage to the baby, and I am seriously considering abortion because I feel like this is a hopeless situation.

hattymattie Sun 24-Feb-13 08:11:15

I did have about 5 glasses of wine and a rum punch thing one night at the beginning of pregnancy - discovered over the christmas period. Felt very guilty when I knew but she's absolutely brilliant.

KamikazeeKid Sun 24-Feb-13 08:11:55

You'll be fine! I did with ds1 and hes fine! I partied more than what you had too! Was supposed to me my month off TTC!! I also ate every prohibited food.

Don't worry baby will be fine

So many people find out post drinking.

SweepTheHalls Sun 24-Feb-13 08:13:50

got absolutely hammeted on Champagne celebrating my SIL engagement when I must have been 3.5 weeks, he is a fine, healthy 4yr olf now. stop panicking.

KamikazeeKid Sun 24-Feb-13 08:13:54

I mean before I found out I was pregnant obviously :-) the important thing is not to drink now you know.

Same this time....fell pregnant over the xmas party period!

WipsGlitter Sun 24-Feb-13 08:13:58

My GP said the number of women who do this is huge. Foetal Alcohol Syndrome involves sustained drinking throughout your pregnancy. Relax, it will be fine.

SunshineOutdoors Sun 24-Feb-13 08:14:17

The weekend before I got my bfp with dd I drank loads. In one night me and dh shared a full bottle of vodka then moved onto wine and I think there was whisky involved too. She's fine. 18 months and no problems/issues with development. I know it's difficult but please don't worry. You're obviously not going to do it again now you know.

FunnyBird Sun 24-Feb-13 08:14:20

Don't do anything rash. This is not a hopeless situation.
Plenty of people drink before they know they are pregnant. Many do worse.
I'm sure someone with actual facts will be along to help. Please don't worry.

FunnyBird Sun 24-Feb-13 08:14:50

X posts
Phew!

flubba Sun 24-Feb-13 08:16:27

With DD1 (now a healthy 6 year old) we hosted a massive house party and I got smashed. Found out I was pg the next day (same as you in that I took a pg test to ease my mind to get my period to come on).

With DD2 (now a healthy 4 year old) I went out on a hen do. FWIW the drink didn't seem to really affect me so I drank loads.

You will be fine and your baby will be fine. Congratulations by the way smile

dinkystinky Sun 24-Feb-13 08:16:34

Its really common - I certainly did have a couple of heavy blow out nights in super early pregnancy all 3 times! Yes in an ideal world you wouldn't but given it can take anything from months to years to get pregnant, and it can take a while to figure out you are pregnant, it happens a lot. My 2 boys are fine - bright sweet sociable boys. What is important is what you do now - take the folic acid, have a healthy balanced diet and exercise programming and try not to worry (as long term stress is also shown to be a stress factor for babies).

Try not to worry. I also drank a good bottle and a half of wine before i knew. I had a friend who didn't know she was pregnant till 5 months and was travelling, drinking, scuba diving etc. All was fine. I think fetal alcohol syndrome occurs where there is prolonged drinking?

Lionsntigersnbears Sun 24-Feb-13 08:19:00

Tsmith, calm down ! It's okay. Look firstly the embryo can take a long time to even implant. You're born with all the eggs you'll ever have already there- the ovaries don't make them as you go along so no need to worry really before implantation. Then The embryo is under its own steam for quite a while, so chances are you were barely pg when you had your major binge. Yes alcohol in pg isn't good but until last century people in cities routinely drank nothing but, admittedly weak, beer or wine as the water was so polluted. Their children didn't come out with mutant powers! Please this is nothing near as bad as you're worried about! Plenty of babies are conceived on nights of drunken passion, plenty of babies are conceived on drunken hols ! ( my dd for example) if the drs aren't worried there is no reason to be worried yourself.

SlinkyB Sun 24-Feb-13 08:20:55

I went on a hen weekend and drank half a bottle of champagne, numerous large glasses of wine and then went onto the shots (jagerbombs). I was properly hammered.

I got 'period pains' the next day and was sure I'd come on soon. Turned out I was a few weeks pg (3-4 weeks IIRC).

Ds is 2yo now and is, and always has been, perfectly healthy.

Were you ttc-ing? Please don't think about abortion so quickly. I'm pretty sure you'd have to drink extremely heavily throughout the pregnancy to damage your baby (I know there will be rare cases where people have been unlucky, but you should probably listen to your doctor).

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 24-Feb-13 08:21:31

I got absolutely hammered at my wedding, later found out I was 4 weeks pregnant with DS1.

I got absolutely hammered at my brother's wedding. Later found out I was 4 weeks pregnant with DS2.

That early the egg isn't implanted and there is no placenta so nothing gets to the egg.

Relax smile

LeBFG Sun 24-Feb-13 08:27:40

Damage due to drinking so early on is much more likely to lead to a miscarriage than cause any lasting damage. As others say, once the placenta is hooked into your bloodstream then it's a different matter. PLEASE try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy smile. Congratulations btw.

Hattifattner Sun 24-Feb-13 08:30:07

I was celebrating with a friend and DH....we were all pie-eyed, and thought it might be a jolly idea to POAS while inebriated. I could not even focus on the line...the following morning, the cold reality kicked in with a hangover from hell.

She is a lovely smart gorgeous 16yo now. DOnt worry.

bonzo77 Sun 24-Feb-13 08:37:30

Before the placenta takes over from the yolk sac at about 8 weeks the embryo is protected from your blood stream and most things that you take. A very convenient protective mechanism indeed as most of us have no idea we are pregnant until AF is due by which time you are officially 4 weeks!

PurplePidjin Sun 24-Feb-13 08:38:17

My lmp was 24/2/2012. I got completely blasted in St Patrick's Day, found out i was pg a week before easter.

Ds is currently feeding happily while playing with my necklace. A chilled, happy, alert 3mo baby.

They were designed to withstand first time parents and are protected accordingly. Now, get thee to the chemist for some proper vitamins and have dh/p wait on you hand and foot - you're creating a whole new person! grin thanks

Spoonful Sun 24-Feb-13 08:41:16

This must happen loads.

I know someone who was working in the city and out with clients all the time, drinking but not just drinking, who only realised she was pregnant at four and a half months. Her doctor said not to worry and her DD is about 8 now, and fine.

Don't panic.

forgottenpassword Sun 24-Feb-13 08:44:27

Honestly I think a HUGE number of us will have done similar. The doctors have to say what they did to protect themselves but it will be fine. Absolutely no need to worry. Congratulations to you too.

atrcts Sun 24-Feb-13 08:44:31

You are right that alcohol is bad for baby and especially in the first trimester where the brain growth is important, but what you may have overlooked is that there are another 8 weeks of your first trimester left in which to allow the baby's little brain to develop beautifully so long as you keep away from the bottle from now on!

Loads of people have too much alcohol in the first month of pregnancy because they are not aware of being pregnant and it certainly is not a reason to abort! Foetal alcohol syndrome occurs with Mum's who drink throughout the whole of the baby's development, not just the first month.

You are ok at just 4 weeks.

Locketjuice Sun 24-Feb-13 08:45:32

Me, this pregnancy before i knew and last. Last I got so so so drunk I could barely walk/talk then a week later I found out I was pregnant hmm

Baby's fine smile

DisAstrophe Sun 24-Feb-13 08:58:57

I drank half a bottle of strong red wine 2 or 3 times before I found out I was pregnant at 4.5 weeks.

Ds does have learning difficulties and autism. He is now being investigated for genetic issues

But I have had many a sleepless night wishing I'd not drank and wishing I'd taken pre-natal vitamins before oh so casually trying to conceive. It wasn't much alcohol and I had a good diet but perhaps ds was predisposed to be more affected by these things and I could have protected him more.

Op - your dc will v v likely be fine. The odds really are heavily in your favour. I just wanted to tell the other side of the story for anyone reading who is ttc and being blase about drink.

DisAstrophe Sun 24-Feb-13 08:58:57

I drank half a bottle of strong red wine 2 or 3 times before I found out I was pregnant at 4.5 weeks.

Ds does have learning difficulties and autism. He is now being investigated for genetic issues

But I have had many a sleepless night wishing I'd not drank and wishing I'd taken pre-natal vitamins before oh so casually trying to conceive. It wasn't much alcohol and I had a good diet but perhaps ds was predisposed to be more affected by these things and I could have protected him more.

Op - your dc will v v likely be fine. The odds really are heavily in your favour. I just wanted to tell the other side of the story for anyone reading who is ttc and being blase about drink.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Sun 24-Feb-13 09:07:02

Yep, night out with old workmates. DS1 is fine.

Dis, I am sorry about your son. I can understand your feelings but it is incredibly unlikely the drinking had anything to do with the LDs.

chocchoc30 Sun 24-Feb-13 09:08:56

I went on a Hen weekend 3 days before my BFP and got stupidly drunk both nights. I am now 37 weeks pregnant and all is well.

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche Sun 24-Feb-13 09:10:16

I went to magaluf on a hen. Got pickled and drank numerous caffeine shots to keep me going for three days. DS is 2 and totally fine.

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche Sun 24-Feb-13 09:11:46

Actually, the dr said that to cause any real damage (and I quote) "you'd need to be drinking a bottle of vodka a day and I think then that this conversation would be the least of your problems "
I was a bit hmm but that's what he said....

BurnThisDiscoDown Sun 24-Feb-13 09:23:11

I got completely arseholed on wine at a wedding when I was about 3-4 weeks pregnant (obviously didn't know at the time!). We were ttc but it had taken months and we hadn't dtd at the right times (I thought!) so I really didn't think I could be pregnant. Was very upset when I realised what I'd done, but DS (18 months old) is fine. Don't do anything rash, in all probability your little one will be fine.

Scootee Sun 24-Feb-13 09:29:08

A friend of mine when she was about 20 was travelling Europe and partying like crazy. She had a one night stand on a few occasions over a few months and was drinking a lot. One day, she thought something was wrong with her stomach, went to a doctor and found out that she was 5 months pregnant. She had been drinking and clubbing the whole time. Her son is now 10 and absolutely fine. Try not to worry about it, you did not know you were pregnant and in all likelihood it will not matter.

BrainDeadMama Sun 24-Feb-13 09:31:48

I got a bit pissed on Christmas day and got a surprise BFP on Boxing Day.

I felt awful but then I read that as it was so early on (about 3 or 4 weeks, like you) the placenta isn't even formed yet, so it can't affect the baby at such an early stage.

Hope this put your mind at rest?

Emsyboo Sun 24-Feb-13 10:09:37

I found out quite late I was pregnant with DC1 had a massive binge wine, vodka, shots all night with girls then another binge after a conference with work colleagues. A week later I thought I hadn't had a period and mentioned to DH he asked if we could be pregnant and I joked I didn't think so as I was sitting drinking a glass if wine. Next day did a test and was positive.
I felt terrible but he is fine of course I didn't drink through the pregnancy.
You will be fine the placenta hasn't formed yet and this is the best way baby gets alcohol passed over. Foetal alcohol syndrome is a result of serious abuse whilst baby is developing.
My mum drank all the way through her pregnancy with me as it was normal and I am fine (well I do have a tendency to go out drinking wink)
Try not to worry you will have your scan soon if it wasn't this you would probably be worrying about something else - welcome to motherhood

pictish Sun 24-Feb-13 10:12:51

Yes. I did not know I was pg and in that first four weeks went out on the lash and clubbing (with everything that entails for for young, responsibility free people who are living it large...iyswim?) and all was well. He's 11 now.

Emsyboo Sun 24-Feb-13 10:17:09

Also worth noting is that 4 weeks pregnant is only really about 2 weeks from ovulation and a week from implantation (have a bit if baby brain so excuse the loose estimates) but it is taken from you last period.
Drinking this early as a one off is incredibly unlikely to have harmed baby.
Dis sorry to hear of your DCs problems my mum used to work with kids with foetal alcohol syndrome it is unlikely drinking caused your DCs problems but there isn't enough research to rule out completely and agree although it's fine in 99% of cases you do worry if something isn't exactly right you blame yourself for everything

Yamyoid Sun 24-Feb-13 10:19:22

Hopefully you can see from the huge number of posters that you will be fine. I had a weeks holiday before I knew I was pregnant and binge drank the entire time and passed out in Pizza Express then it was a friend's birthday and I got plastered on champagne cocktails. Like you I was petrified and NHS Direct made me worry even more. However, my midwife reassured me and after the scans showed all was well, I'd pretty much forgotten my fright. Please try to stop worrying thanks.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 24-Feb-13 10:25:30

Dis I'm sorry about your son. It is so, so unlikely that you drinking a relatively small amount caused your DS's problems. Half a bottle is 5 units, which doesn't constitute a binge.

DameFanny Sun 24-Feb-13 10:27:21

I got pregnant the night we got engaged. Spent about 2 weeks going for drinks and celebrating with everyone we knew (worked away during the week so lots of drinks anyway).

Ds now 9, perfectly formed, rather intelligent, sadly a bit lazy but that seems to run in the male line on DH's side anyway

Flisspaps Sun 24-Feb-13 10:29:00

With both of mine I went on a hen night on a Saturday, got smashed, then got suspicious of the hangover lasting into Monday so POAS and got a +ve.

DisAstrophe Sun 24-Feb-13 13:03:06

Thank you to the posters who have said it is v unlikely to be the drinking that caused my ds' ld and asd. It is v kind and of course you are probably right but I'll never know. Half a bottle these days is six or seven units I think.

Anyway I'm going to leave this thread as the op is looking for reassurance.

tsmith02162013 Sun 24-Feb-13 13:07:34

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/health&id=8773696

Here is what has me so scared--I was trying to find more information on binge drinking before knowing you were pregnant, and I found this news item about a woman who only had 2 binge drinking incidents before she knew she was pregnant. Her son has fetal alcohol syndrome, and as an adult, his disability prevents him from working at all.

And I found another U.S. study which even implies that, by binge drinking at 4-6 weeks, the damage is already done:

http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-3/168-174.htm

I just can't get over that story and the study. For the moms who have been through this, how did you not worry yourself sick through the duration of the pregnancy? I cannot stop thinking about this.

DameFanny Sun 24-Feb-13 13:20:02

Look at it another way. Alcohol consumption around conception and during pregnancy is entirely self-reported - no one's blood testing pregnant women for alcohol as a general rule, and it doesn't stay in the system very long if you are having blood taken for whatever reason.

A gp relation also told me that the correlation between alcohol consumption and FAS isn't direct - the incidence of FAS in alcoholics is lower than you would expect.

So there's a couple of things there. One - mothers of children with FAS may be down-playing their consumption and two - FAS may occur as a result of your body's response to the alcohol, rather than the alcohol itself.

So don't do anything silly. Relax a bit and wishing you a lovely dating scan smile

hwjm1945 Sun 24-Feb-13 13:25:44

Had a skinful inc a lock in in a pub before I knew pref with DD1,worried a lot.doctor reassured me.not to worry.she now nearly 9 and in top streams at school and no problems.v early blow out will NOT cause problems,check with doc if still unsure,do not suffer as alone and do not consider abortion for that reason.there is no need

sheeplikessleep Sun 24-Feb-13 13:27:00

Bonzo's post .... "Before the placenta takes over from the yolk sac at about 8 weeks the embryo is protected from your blood stream and most things that you take. A very convenient protective mechanism indeed as most of us have no idea we are pregnant until AF is due by which time you are officially 4 weeks!"

I have also read this elsewhere, can't remember where, but I was under impression what you consumed early pregnancy didn't make it's way directly to the baby like it does later on.

Hawkmoth Sun 24-Feb-13 13:28:39

With dd I found out at seven weeks, only because I realised that a hangover didn't last for three days. She's a little belter. The baby is self contained with a yolk sac until the placenta forms.

LoopDeLoops Sun 24-Feb-13 13:29:28

Both times. Both times I drank LOADS more than usual one night - it seems that I can't actually get drunk when pregnant.

Illgetmegoat Sun 24-Feb-13 13:41:49

May I be presumptuous? When you say you didn't know, does this mean you have a completely accidental/surprise pg?
If you were TTC I assume you would be sure to avoid binges which is what makes me ask.
Are you ok, happy, with the actual fact of your pg? Are you sure this is not some acute anxiety about wider issues focussing on one aspect of a whole host of wider feelings? You say out of your mind with grief, something is wrong, you're scared, considering abortion - that's a lot of expressive language.

If not, and you have just really frightened yourself with Google, then I advise something I've never advised before - do more googling & reading. I have posted at length previously about FAS and care with alcohol during pregnancy and I think you need to read the science not the news. Sources not scare tactics. You have the right and choice to make any decision you want regarding your pregnancy but I think you owe it to yourself to make sure it is the most informed it can be.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 24-Feb-13 13:50:41

TBH I wouldn't give much weight to anything that comes out of the US in relation to drinking in pregnancy.

There is a puritanical streak a mile wide over there, and there are sectors of society that would like to see pregnant women drinking made illegal. There is an agenda to prove that any alcohol in pregnancy in incredibly damaging.

If you have raised this with Drs in the UK and been given assurances then please rest easy that you have done your baby no harm.

Illgetmegoat Sun 24-Feb-13 13:53:52

Also one study does not an informed choice make. Also research embryonic development and peer reviewed studies, remember awareness sites have an agenda that will not support ambiguous information. You're so panicked I think you have to read & judge yourself really.

I really hope you start to feel better about things soon.

Illgetmegoat Sun 24-Feb-13 13:54:54

Sorry x post, phone typing takes an age.

Haberdashery Sun 24-Feb-13 16:51:12

I had two bottles of red wine and about forty cigarettes three days before getting a positive test result (New Year's Eve, I don't normally drink that much). I honestly thought there was no chance of being pregnant as I'd been trying for over two years. Child now six and perfect, and most definitely not suffering from FAS.

ruledbyheart Sun 24-Feb-13 17:06:31

Ok I will get flamed for this but a week before I found out I was pregnant with DC1 (years ago) I had been out on a 24hr drink and drug bender (cocaine), Obviously once I found out I completely stopped and have never touched drugs again since.

But for the whole of the pregnancy I was terrified of the damage I could have caused to my baby, didn't even tell the midwife as thought they'd take my baby away so it was something I had to keep completely to myself.
DC1 was born on his due date at an average weight and was and still is 100% healthy.

My point being your baby is more than likely absolutely fine and wont suffer any ill effects from your binge.

lucybrad Sun 24-Feb-13 17:06:32

I drank all over xmas, every night for about two weeks what with birthdays xmas and new year. Im worried but there is little i can do about it now, so have put it too the back of my mind.

Kiriwawa Sun 24-Feb-13 17:07:09

DisAstrophe - I had a planned pregnancy (conceived by IUI) and had not had a drink in months, taken loads of vitamins, folic acid etc in the months leading up to conception and DS is being assessed for autism and LDs. So please don't attribute your DD's problems to your drinking before you knew you'd conceived - no link has ever been found x

lynniep Sun 24-Feb-13 17:14:27

God yes. I drank tons and smoked like a chimney too. I found out I was pg quite early (about 4 weeks) and just stopped both. There wasn't much option really (v. awkward as I'd invited some friends to stay with us as we were living in Oz at the time and they'd come to party. I had to feign illness). DS1 was fine.

LeBFG Sun 24-Feb-13 17:18:17

OP - your googling results don't mean anything. Plenty of people say 'I did x during pg and my son/daughter has y' - but this is just anecode. The paper details lots of animal studies and very few good studies on humans. And the results they found in the human studies only showed some statistical differences (if the results are to be believed at all) in IQ etc. This is NOT the same a FAS or anything close....and it can't say whether any one baby will have been affected - himans are not statistics. As a PP said, it's only one study. At some point it's best just to ignore these things, make the right choices from now on and, above all, relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

Signet2012 Sun 24-Feb-13 17:25:48

I was 6 weeks pregnant when I found out.
In that time I had
1. Went to a wedding, got trashed on vodka and shots of sambuca.
2. Went on a works Christmas party drank far too much vodka and drank some rather vile green shots.
3. Drank two bottles of Rosé in a week- the first time I liked wine in my life

I don't even usually drink but had a few events which was unusual but I enjoyed it.

Up until Boxing Day when I got my bfp. I had done a test as dp asked me to as I was two days late but mainly because he had a hunch.

Dd is 5.5 months and fine.

I was like you, horrified and felt sick thinking about it had Also had cigarettes on the night out too!!! Don't even smoke!!!

I just didn't ever drink again and still haven't (ebf)

LittleBearPad Sun 24-Feb-13 17:31:47

I was on holiday when I found out I was pregnant half way through (4 weeks). The first week involved cocktails and wine every night plus a few drinks at lunchtime on a few days. The second was sober. But my DD is fine. Honestly it will be ok. I understand that FAS is the result of significant sustained drinking throughout pregnancy.

GoldenGreen Sun 24-Feb-13 17:35:25

I agree with all who say you should not worry as the likelihood is things are fine. Many mothers have done just the same.

But for others who are maybe ttc, there are some misunderstandings on this thread about the embryo's development that are not helpful. The bloodstreams of the mother and baby never mix, but oxygen and nutrients are supplied from the mother to the foetus very early on - it isn't self sufficient until the placenta is fully formed. In fact the first few weeks are the most crucial time for development.

catlady1 Sun 24-Feb-13 17:37:16

As others have said, at 4 weeks the placenta hasn't developed yet and so you and the baby aren't sharing a bloodstream as you would be later on. Also, said "baby" is just a ball of cells the size of a poppy seed - it doesn't yet have a brain to be damaged. Of course certain things can still have an adverse effect at this early stage but the embryo is so fragile that if that was the case, it would likely lead to miscarriage rather than long-term problems. Alcohol affects everyone differently (hence why there's no guideline for a "safe" limit for alcohol consumption during pregnancy), but FAS tends to be a result of regular heavy drinking throughout pregnancy rather than a couple of episodes in the very very early stages.

That being said, I did drink quite a lot before I found out I was pregnant (I found out about as early as it is possible to find out, thankfully, I was a few days shy of four weeks), and I've been quizzing every midwife and doctor I've seen about what kind of damage I might have done. They've all told me basically what I said above, or that loads and loads of pregnant women are worried about the same thing but their babies are just as healthy as those of non-drinkers, and FAS in practice is only really seen in children of alcoholics or serious binge drinkers. And also that what's done is done - there's nothing anyone can do about it now.

Please don't do anything rash, and please try not to beat yourself up too much. Even for the healthiest mothers who take their vitamins every day and don't drink, smoke, or ever lift their arms over their heads, there's still a chance that their babies might be born with disabilities, and it's also true that lots and lots of children of raging alcoholics and drug addicts are born perfectly healthy.

expatinscotland Sun 24-Feb-13 17:42:42

I did this a couple of days before I was due on. I went on a works night out and drank so many voddy cocktails I puked. She was fine.

Fairyloo Sun 24-Feb-13 17:46:46

I drank way more and took loads of cocaine (don't judge) and mine are fine. Far too early for damage.

Problems occur when you are drinking dependently through your pregnancy

ErikNorseman Sun 24-Feb-13 17:48:41

You use the word mom and cite US research - are you American? There is a far more hard line attitude to drinking in pregnancy in the US without justification IMO. There are two schools of thought on FAS that I am aware of. One that it is caused by sustained heavy drinking throughout pregnancy, another that there is a crucial time in brain development around 10-12 weeks during which time a single binge can cause FAS. I'm not convinced by the second but even if it is true, the very very early stages are low risk because the embryo isn't being nourished by the placenta so an alcohol (or drugs, or fags) binge is very unlikely to affect it.

Fwiw I drank over Christmas, new year before finding out I was pregnant. My DS is a healthy, bright NT 4 year old. Please try to relax, and put thoughts of termination out of your mind. If your anxiety doesn't decrease please consider calling your doctor for a chat, counselling might be useful.

munchkinmaster Sun 24-Feb-13 20:45:40

I have only read the paper quickly but:
-it's not in a peer reviewed journal (so no quality control - I could write an essay to support whatever I want to make a point about and stick on net)
- it cites one study with humans so there may be 100 other studies it chooses to ignore which found the opposite. It's not a review of all the evidence.
- it only describes the original research so I can't get a full understanding of it. Without knowing if they controlled for other factors (particularly drinking after bfp) or how many participants I've no idea how good the study is.
- they did no testing of the kids just asked teachers so not reliable

I strongly suspect the original research would have had a less black and white conclusion

munchkinmaster Sun 24-Feb-13 20:48:46

Oh and for what it's worth I drank in that first month

tsmith02162013 Sun 24-Feb-13 20:51:30

We were not actively trying to conceive, but we were certainly not being careful enough. THAT is why I am feel so guilty. I really want a child but cannot live with the guilt of having done this to my child.

I should have acted like an adult. I should not have been drinking. But I did, and now I can't live with either choice. Having a baby that is damaged because of my recklessness, or having an abortion.

Has anyone else been through this? I drank A LOT. Is there really any hope? My doctor thinks that there is a "chance" that we could be fine, and my husband thinks that should be enough. I just want to know more. Has anyone else had that much to drink and gone on to have the child? What happened?

Haberdashery Sun 24-Feb-13 20:54:11

HAVE YOU READ THE REPLIES?

Haberdashery Sun 24-Feb-13 20:54:42

Because it sounds like several people (including me) have drunk that much and their children were absolutely fine.

5madthings Sun 24-Feb-13 20:55:50

Yep i drank loads.

I was at uni when i got preg with ds1 and i didnt test until i was about 8wks preg had my head firmly in the sand anyway i had drunk loads on more than one occasion..

Ds1 is now 13, perfectly healthy, top set student predicted top grades for gcse's.

ErikNorseman Sun 24-Feb-13 21:09:30

You might want to read the umpteen replies you already have hmm

dinkystinky Sun 24-Feb-13 21:19:15

Read the replies Tsmith - there is every chance your baby will be fine. The stress and needless anxiety you are putting yourself and your baby through has to stop as what's done is done - all you can do now you know you are pregnant is concentrate on giving yourself and your baby the best you can do through a happy healthy pregnancy.

Chubfuddler Sun 24-Feb-13 21:19:43

There's more than a chance your baby will be fine. There is no reason why your baby wouldn't be fine. If there is a problem the chances of it being due to drinking alcohol as a one off in very very early pregnancy are pretty remote.

Loads and loads of women have gotten hammered shortly before finding out they were pregnant. It happens all the time.

MirandaWest Sun 24-Feb-13 21:22:59

I drank a pretty excessive amount for me between conception and positive test with DS - went on work do and was pretty sick afterwards. He is fine smile

With DD there was much alcohol involved in her conception and then a few days afterwards (she was conceived just before Christmas).

MirandaWest Sun 24-Feb-13 21:23:29

She is fine too btw

EMS23 Sun 24-Feb-13 21:26:49

I'm sorry for you that you're so scared but if you were my friend in real life, I'd take you by the shoulders and give you a bloody good shake and tell you to calm the fuck down.

You haven't done anything to your child and frankly, to abort for this reason would be ridiculous and a waste of a life you created and you want.

Your DH and your doctor have reassured you. Listen to them, they are the important ones, not some stupid story you've read on Google.

Having children is a lifetime of worry and guilt. You will make many choices for your child. Right now, you need to choose to let this go.

WhirlingOut Sun 24-Feb-13 21:36:31

Calm down tsmith! Read the replies and take lots of deep breaths.

I have adopted niece and nephew, their mother drank heavily throughout the pregnancies (one of the many reasons leading to them being adopted), and so my sister has done loads of research into FAS. This is what she told me- the reason they tell you not to drink is because alcohol affects each person differently. However for a child to be affected by FAS the mother needs to be drinking a lot throughout the whole pregnancy, effectively never giving the baby a break from the alcohol.

Having a few drinks in the first four weeks of pregnancy is highly unlikely to affect the baby. So just chill out and stop assuming the worst, seriously.

tipp2chicago Sun 24-Feb-13 21:38:36

We were actively TTC - clomid and all. I was 100000% sure this wasn't our month - only DTD once because of work trips. Went out with neighbours at 4 weeks- drank approx 6 pints and god only knows how many shots. At 5 weeks (long cycle so before test) spent 2 nights on the trot drinking with my sister. BFP in her bathroom the morning after night 2. Kiddo is perfect. 8 months old, funny, cheerful, obsessed with the dog. So calm down. Your baby will be fine.

And ignore all that American crap. The country was founded by puritans and they've never quite shaken it off.

Skyebluesapphire Sun 24-Feb-13 21:41:10

I agree - no risk. read the replies. You sound as if you are totally over reacting. My friend went out and got legless one night at a local fair, got drunk most of the week, like we all did. had been told she couldnt have children. then discovered she was pregnant. Her baby was absolutely fine and the doctor told her that it wouldnt have done any harm.

seriously, get a grip on yourself and enjoy your pregnancy

Chubfuddler Sun 24-Feb-13 21:48:36

I'm actually quite concerned for you op because if you're this anxious about this issue and this early on, you'll be climbing the walls by 20 weeks. Be kinder to yourself and if you want to google something make it antenatal depression - lots of women get it, it's not well known and you sound vulnerable.

TheChaoGoesMu Sun 24-Feb-13 21:49:00

I didn't know I was pg with dc1 until about 7 weeks. In the build up to that we had Christmas and new year, and we went on holiday for a week. During that time I was binge drinking, a lot. I obviously stopped the moment I realised I was pg, and I now have a happy healthy 5 year old.

tsmith02162013 Sun 24-Feb-13 22:05:11

I am so sorry! Thank you everyone who has replied. I was having trouble scrolling through the page and missed a lot of the responses from women who did drink before they knew they were pregnant.

I will try to calm down. I have made an appointment for counseling this week because I clearly cannot handle this without help.

Gingerbreadpixie Sun 24-Feb-13 22:51:53

tsmith - I don't have experience of drinking heavily in pg but I do have experience with extreme anxiety in my own pregnancy (I'm 13 weeks). It's a good thing that you've recognised you're struggling and booked a counselling appointment. You could see your GP and let them know you're having trouble too. And your midwife. You may find this is a one-off issue and things calm down as you settle into your pregnancy. But if it doesn't then it's a good idea to get a good support network around you. Sending you a hug!

x

DaveMccave Mon 25-Feb-13 07:45:27

Woah, calm down! That's very very common. I had done worse with my last and current pregnancy before I knew. I was told by a GP friend that it doesn't really cross to the embryo the same way in te early weeks as its not 'hooked up to your blood stream via the placenta' if you get me. Really don't worry, you didn't know, and a one off in early pg like that is fine. It's continuous binge drinking throughout pregnancy that is the problem, even then some people find out very late and more often than not baby is fine. your lucky you've found out so early on. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

dinkystinky Mon 25-Feb-13 08:45:05

Glad you're seeing a counsellor Tsmith and I hope you have a happy pregnancy from here on in.

BonaDea Mon 25-Feb-13 12:16:37

You've had lots of answers already, but I confirm that 3 days before I knew I was pregnant, I got completely trollied with my best friend to celebrate her engagement! It had been our first month of TTC so a) I thought that there was no way it would have happened yet; and b) I had been having faint cramping very similar to what I experience the day or so before my period arrives. So, just put it down to time of the month and carried on.

It was a hot night last July, I had gotten back from honeymoon the week before and we had two ciders each, a bottle of champagne and a 10 pack of Marlboro lights between us. I was so ill the next morning I threw up (not MS - I never had a day of it). Three days later I did the test and immediately was in anguish.

I'm now 34+5, all scans have come back normal and of course although there are no guartantees that all will be well, I think this is very very common. Apart from anything else, immediately after conception the embryo is nourished from the egg sac rather than directly from your blood stream, so the theory is that far less will pass on.

Good luck!

Mixxy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:05:31

I really, really sympathize Tsmith. I'm going through the same thing. I didn't find out I was pregnant until 7 weeks along, and at that time I drank everyday, at levels that would horrify most people. I was on a 3 week vacation: mimosas for breakfast, wine with lunch, afternoon G&Ts before we hit the beers for BBQ dinner or bottles of wine at the restaurant. Every. Single. Day. The rest of the time was spent at a 4 day wedding and an Irish funeral. So don't worry that you were binge drinking- I really was. Obviously I stopped as soon as I found out. But of course, I then went into a spiral of guilt, shame, self-loathing and anxiety. Put myself in hospital 3 times with panic attacks. I live in the States, so the doctors were sure to pile it on with concern.

After week 24 my concern started to fade a little. But by the time week 36 came round I was back to looking at google about 14 hours a day, crying sobbing, saying I didn't want the baby anymore, thinking I ruined my childs life, my husbands life etc. But you have to calm down. You just do. Im now 41&1 weeks, so I don't have a definite answer for you as to my outcome. But I can tell you that the first thing I will check for before fingers and toes, is whether this baby has a smooth philtrum, a flat face etc.

You need to try to calm down. Don't do anything rash yet. I'm going to have this baby in the next 48 hours or so. Would you like me to update you as to how it works out? I know how desperate you feel right now, I really do. And nothing anybody says to you is going to help. But please, stop reading, take your vitamins, drink lots of water, eat some fruit and whole grains.

rrreow Mon 25-Feb-13 13:26:00

Yep. Probably around 3 weeks. Got horribly drunk, including throwing up and everything (I am not even a heavy drinker usually or a partier, I go out and get drunk maybe once a year!).

Was massively reassured at the time (after panicking obviously!) by reading people say that at that point the embryo hasn't implanted yet, so there is no actual blood supply between you and it.

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:28:14

I did far far worse, way more drink & a smattering of drugs too - it was though Xmas NYE after all & I always did like a party & it was party season, with lots to go too & free drink too - too worried myself sick when I found out later I was pregnant - no need, DD was & is absolutely fine smile - I didn't drink again through my pregnancy once I knew though

My friend though was a different matter, but she went through hell & lost her DM & partner during her pregnancy, she turned to drinking very heavily to cope & drank through most of her pregnancy - she lost her baby due to health problems at only at a few weeks old sad

so in short I think drinking a bit too much early on when you don;t know you are pregnant & then being sensible for the rest of your pregnancy wont harm at all, so try & relax, if there is anything wrong now, it will be one of those things & nothing you have done - CONGRATULATIONS & try & relax & enjoy your pregnancy, thats far better for your baby & you

Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:36:11

I conceived my DD1 during prolonged 30th birthday celebrations ie when I was about 4 week pg it turned out. serious partying iykwim! My DD is now 10 and supposedly "gifted and talented" whatever that means. Well she's very smart and has not in any way been affected by a shed load of booze etc when she was a dot. Like others I felt premenstrual & beginnings of cramp so thought I was getting my period.

Honestly, as others have said FES involves sustained drinking throughout pregnancy. Someone told me that at this early stage before the umbilical cord has formed substances isn't even pass (but not sure if that s true...).

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:40:30

LOL Turnip mine is G&T too, as is the DD of someone else we know who was also at the same very hardcore NYE party & also didn't realise she was pregnant , we've joked for years thats the reason our DDs are G&T

Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:42:20

wink Rockinhippy! Now there's a study no medic wants to carry out eh!
Glad your DD is a happy healthy smart cookie too.

rockinhippy Mon 25-Feb-13 13:43:38

grin

Acandlelitshadow Mon 25-Feb-13 13:47:58

I drank shitloads of wine the weekend before testing for first dc. I did feel mightily guilty at having potentially pickled him but all was fine.

He's now 6ft 3 and has just celebrated his 21st grin

Whatnameforme Mon 25-Feb-13 13:56:27

I did this with my two youngest!! One is 4 years and the other 4 months. They are both fine and I was drinking quite a lot more than you had, and spirits rather than wine. I'm sure everything will be fine. Hope you can put your mind at rest.

NatashaBee Mon 25-Feb-13 14:14:53

I did this with DS too - he's fine. The baby is not connected to your bloodstream until at least 6 weeks, according to my Dr. I hope all these stories from other people who did the same give you some reassurance.

GingerDoodle Mon 25-Feb-13 20:20:44

I would calm down. I took the approach with my pregnancy that what will be will be (obv whilst being sensible once I knew!).

I got pregnant over xmas/ new years/ early jan - and I got well and truly hammered. i drank a bottle of toffee vodka on my own on NYE, not to mention considerable amounts of wine and champagne on a family dinner a week before I found out (I was late and had tested by it kept coming up neg).

DD arrived a week early with a quick labour at a bonny weight and is a happy healthy 5 month old (in 2 days).

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