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Are you finding out what your having?

(31 Posts)
AlmondFrangipani Wed 20-Feb-13 21:54:46

We can't decide whether to or not and I wondered what the consensus was! What do you think the pros and cons for both are??

stacey212528 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:57:16

I am, but it's a personal choice. Patience isn't a virtue I've been blessed with and I hope it'll make it a bit quicker for me. Some people say the surprise is amazing though. Either way you should do what feels right for you. (:

MissHinky Wed 20-Feb-13 22:04:37

We thought about it but are leaning towards not finding out. I want the surprise once the baby's born smile

Oodsigma Wed 20-Feb-13 22:13:03

Not done with any of mine. I like the surprise. Only con I've found is the lack of unisex clothes , they're all white or beige.

scoutfinch1 Wed 20-Feb-13 22:18:33

We are finding out (in 12 days!) Our reasons are partly because we are impatient and think knowing what we are having will make it more 'real' but mainly because we can be totally organised and have everything bought and ready. I know I am not going to buy everything in neutral and then decide that i just must have pink or blue once baby is born. Also, really don't want to have to send DP shopping for baby clothes. We just think that it will make it much easier for us once the baby is born because all the family is far away.

My mum also pointed out that when the baby is born your biggest concern will be if it is healthy and not what sex it is. I just don't think any surprise will make the moment of holding your newborn any better. But... I could be wrong.

IMO if you think that finding out will make your pregnancy/time as a new mum easier/ less stressful/ more enjoyable/ more organised then you should go for it but if you don't think that finding out will make any difference then you might as well enjoy the surprise.

Blanketsandpillows Wed 20-Feb-13 22:55:49

We're not going to. No real reason why other than we've always said we'd wait and see what arrives!

We haven't found out - reasons being that I HATE the idea of colour/gender coding babies, and have a particular dislike for baby pink & baby blue... Our baby's nursery is a sunny yellow with Winnie the Pooh all over it, which I would have had regardless of whether it was a boy or girl. And when I give birth, I will choose bright and bold clothes for baby rather than the traditional pink or blue... but that's just me grin

We also didn't want to know because, from our experiences, it's nowhere near as exciting when the couple finds out, ESPECIALLY if they already name the baby to everyone! Then the post-baby phonecall is simply... "She/he is here!" Nowhere near as much fun as "It's a ____! We've called him/her ___!" But thats simply selfishness on our part, we're really really looking forward to making those phonecalls, teehee!!

I think the only reason I would find out would be if I already had a DC and I wanted to know what clothes to keep etc.

I am now 37+2 and really, really excited to find out who DH and I have created... all doubts about not finding out have faded away and I am just thrilled that soon I will have my little one in my arms!

bluer Thu 21-Feb-13 07:27:10

We're finding out! I think it'll help dh to bond more and I also want to know...I think it's so I don't get my heart set pm one way and end up with the other. I want a boy for various reasons but then I love all the clothes for girls <shallow> and at least this way I can plan what to buy. Also we have a wedding a few Weeks after birth and I want to be able to search for the right outfit now rather than after birth. Baby is guest of honour at a strictly child free wedding!

TeWiSavesTheDay Thu 21-Feb-13 07:35:32

We found out with our other 2 (a girl and a boy) and it was a great moment with both of them.grin I fancy having a surprise next, but DH bonds much better once he knows gender and baby can be he/she rather than it!

So not decided.

glossyflower Thu 21-Feb-13 07:50:03

I'm pg with our first and my husband wanted to find out the sex but I don't.
My nursery is being decorated neutrally, lots of owls with birds. I have found neutral baby clothing is mostly white or cream. Some websites make it harder by having only boy/girl sections.
But it's not a big problem as I'm only buying basic newborn stuff until baby gets here then I will know what we need.
I think personally apart from wanting to see baby healthy, the first thing you look for after birth is if its a boy or girl. I am going to need that thought to get me through labour lol
Xxx

PhieEl06 Thu 21-Feb-13 08:20:22

I'm finding out, but purely because my PG was unplanned & like I explain to all my family members who tell me not too, this whole this has been enough of a (happy) surprise already, I can't be doing with any more surprises. grin

MiaowTheCat Thu 21-Feb-13 08:23:37

Found out - wanted to know if I could reuse DD1's clothes! Plus last time the birth was so fraught no one bothered to tell me the sex and I wanted to avoid that.

Eletheomel Thu 21-Feb-13 08:32:52

We didn't find out with our DS and we're not finding out this time. Neither of us are fussed what the sex is, I'm not interested in buying 'blue' or 'pink' stuff in advance of the baby's arrival, I'm happy to name my baby once I see it's face, and part of me feels it's like peeking at your christmas presents on xmas eve :-)

In addition, last time round my DH told me the sex of our baby once it was born and it was such an emotional, amazing moment for both of us that we both want to do it that way again.

Knowing the sex now won't alter the way I feel about this baby, but for me, I found that labour had an extra bit of excitement attached, not just at meeting my baby for the first time, but finding out its gender.

It's totally a personal thing though, I was never tempted to find out, but I've had several friends who had to know as soon as they could - there's no right or wrong in this :-)

However, I did have one friend who suffered tremendous gender disappontment when she discovered she was having a boy at 5 months pregnant (her and her OH had their hearts set on a girl) and it honestly ruined the rest of her pregnancy as her OH felt totally stressed about having a boy as did she, and didn't know what she would do with it (whereas she had planned bonding with a girl etc).

I always felt that if she didn't know and only found out when she had the baby, the amazement of giving birth would have far outweighed any ideas she had about boy or girl - it may not have, but it's just a feeling I had.

sunnysunnyshine Thu 21-Feb-13 08:42:12

I always find out. I'm way too impatient. Plus seeing my baby when it's born is enough of a surprise for me.

aufaniae Thu 21-Feb-13 09:10:01

I didn't find out the first time. Just gut feeling, I didn't want to. I had no preference either way, I was just really excited about having a baby!

This time round I wanted to know, because I had a secret preference. I can tell people now as I got my wish - I really wanted to have one of each, and she's a girl smile

If she'd been a boy I'd have been happy too! I'd have got used to the idea fairly quickly I imagine. But because I had a preference I just wanted to know!

"Some websites make it harder by having only boy/girl sections." Indeed they do! I did consider not telling people it's a girl specifically to delay the inevitable onslaught of pink princess stuff <yuck!> but I'm no good at keeping my own secrets!

StuckOnARollercoaster Thu 21-Feb-13 09:11:47

Haven't found out... And where I live and work I think its unusual and makes me feel like I'm a bit weird the way people react when I say we don't know the gender.
Its the right decision for us - we don't mind either way, I quite like imagining both scenarios of a baby boy or girl and even though I don't mind blue or pink I don't want all my baby's clothes to be gender specific.
It also avoids having to say too much about names - family are already presenting us with their 'favourites' and its easier to be non-committal about the names we like. (This is our child to name and I don't like being pressured!!!)

massagegirl Thu 21-Feb-13 09:17:51

We have found out but keeping it secret from everyone else. It's really nice that we are the only ones to know. Having a baby is the list exciting thing, knowing its sex won't take away anything from that excitement! We also had bit of tricky pregnancy so once they saw everything was fine at 20 week scan we got the dr to tell us so it was like a little celebration that all was well.

laward Thu 21-Feb-13 10:54:10

Didn't with my DS, so not with this one either. It's a lovely surprise.

Whyriskit Thu 21-Feb-13 10:56:34

Didn't with DS1, did with DS2 (didn't tell anyone else though) and won't with this one. Having an elcs so want a surprise!

sheeplikessleep Thu 21-Feb-13 11:00:02

Didn't find out with DS1.
Found out with DS2.
We will be finding out this time.

Mostly because we are really stumped trying to think of a name! I feel like I need this pregnancy to be as easy as possible - 1 name, can sort clothes in advance (we've got all of the boys clothes, my sister is desperate to get rid of her baby girl clothes), big brothers can know. Also because I am as impatient as anything and desperate to know. I also know that we will get the whole 'oh are you wanting a girl' this time question and I can shut them up quickly (I am fully expecting another glorious boy). I think I've got a lot more practical with each pregnancy!

Teaandflapjacks Thu 21-Feb-13 12:15:49

I don't want to know, but we will be finding out as DH really wants to know. We live in germany and it is very common here. I have relented as I have struck a deal with him over his smoking - he must give up by the time the baby comes, and we can find out the sex up front. I figure, I give up something I want, so does he and it should help spur him on!!

TBH, as a friend here said, you find out anyway, and all you care about, as scoutfinch1 says, is if everything is ok. The other reason is a practical one, we will go back over to England before, and my sister has tons of girls clothes to lend, so this could save us quite a bit of money if it's a girl, and my BF and my sister have also just had boys, so we could borrow their 0-3 months clothes, which would also be useful if we have a little boy. I really don't mind either way though! I think it's a personal choice, and DH still says he would go/have gone with my decision as it is me dealing with the joys of pregnancy... :-)

CackleALot Thu 21-Feb-13 12:17:50

We found out with DS but haven't with this one.
We were undecided - DP wanted to know and I didn't - our decision was made for us as they couldn't tell at scan grin

I've had a few moments where I've thought that I wish I did know to help with names (have to think of name for boy & girl!) and clothes. I've kept DS clothes and looked out all the neutral ones so its worked out OK so far.

I'm 39+4 now and so glad we don't know - it adds to the excitement! smile

DachsandPup Thu 21-Feb-13 12:22:05

I found out with DD because i was desperate for a boy and wanted time to process if it was a girl. Couldn't love her more now, but I cried when I found out she was a girl. V newly pg with number 2 and if it sticks around will def find out.

PandaWatch Thu 21-Feb-13 12:39:40

We're not finding out. I wasn't sure but DH definitely didn't want to and now I'm glad we've not found out as I'm really enjoying the extra anticpation and excitement (although I CANNOT wait to find out of course! smile )

I was also a bit put off finding out because they don't always get it right and I don't know how I'd feel if I was told I was having one, was all prepared for that, then ended up with the other!

cyclecamper Thu 21-Feb-13 12:50:33

I haven't found out, partly because I didn't want to and partly because when I had my dating scan I was already 19 weeks, so they didn't do a 20 week scan and at the 19 week scan she didn't offer to tell me and I didn't ask. The pregnancy was SUCH a surprise anyway (hence the late scan - I didn't realise I was pregnant until I was 16 weeks!), that any other surprises are very minor grin.

CityDweller Thu 21-Feb-13 12:54:31

We didn't and I'm glad we chose that. I didn't want to start forming an idea of who the baby is until I actually meet it, if that makes sense. I also have a huge aversion to the gender-coding thing and it was a way to prevent, at least a little bit, relatives giving us pink/blue baby stuff. Oh, and it takes pressure off the name thing too (the standard line of questioning seems to be 'do you know what you're having' followed by 'have you decided on a name?'). We get to stay vague on names when people ask, preventing the thing when friends/family diss a name you love...

SeriousStuff Thu 21-Feb-13 13:32:53

We're not finding out, but having previously been adamant about not finding out before I got pg, I now completely understand why you would want to and I imagine it will be hard not to when asked. I'm desperate to start buying things but will have to wait!

I'm just looking forward to the surprise element of it!

BraveLilBear Thu 21-Feb-13 14:34:06

We're having a... baby! That will be the line I use over and over when the inevitable questions start coming about what we're having.

We're not finding out, we both think it'll be nice to have something to look forward to. As it's our first (together) there's no urgent need to adjust other young children so figured why not.

Did have a wobble the other week when I started fixating on the idea it was a girl (very random) but that seems to have passed now and I'm back to being able to imagine either in my arms smile

Midori1999 Thu 21-Feb-13 14:45:16

I found out with all of my babies, except one of my twins, because they couldn't tell me. That was a bit different really as they we very premature and we knew unlikely to survive.

I am tempted to not find out with this one, but DD is only 20 months, so it will be the difference between keeping her clothes or not. I think Perhaps we'll decide not to tell others though, just to get the back for all the 'oh, you've ruined the surprise' comments! grin

peanutMD Thu 21-Feb-13 15:26:51

We're not finding out, partly because or hospital doesn't tell and partly because my friend had been told at 2 scans (including a 3d) that she was definitely having a girl but she now has a gorgeous 2 month old boy and a few.bags.full of girly things free to a good home grin

This has also happened to my SIL so we decided it just wasn't worth the hassle.

amie1979 Thu 21-Feb-13 20:21:10

we find out in 4 days im not counting lol i have 2 girls and my partner has 2 girls from a previous so we are going to see if we will have a spice girls band or will it stay as little mix band lol would be nice to have a boy but what ever aslong as it is in good health the baby will be loved what ever the sex my twin sister never found out what sex hers was but i have done with my last 2

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