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11 weeks (ish) and craving a glass of wine

(147 Posts)
LittleMrsExpecting Sat 16-Feb-13 17:55:17

Hi everyone, I am 11-12 weeks pregnant and although normally am not a big drinker am dying for a glass of wine. Have people been having the odd glass or abstaining from wine full stop? x

I had the odd glass of wine .
Not often , and not much .

jaffacake2 Sat 16-Feb-13 18:02:00

Read the thread on adopting a baby with foetal alcohol syndrome before you reach for your glass of wine. All alcohol crosses placenta barrier and research is uncertain as to how much can cause nerological damage whilst baby is developing.

soaccidentprone Sat 16-Feb-13 18:04:39

just pick something at 11% or lower and have a very small glass or make it into a spritzer.

and drink it slowly.

rubyslippers Sat 16-Feb-13 18:05:30

have a small glass with food

jaffacake2 Sat 16-Feb-13 18:06:06

Why take the risk ?

rubyslippers Sat 16-Feb-13 18:06:28

also, the becks blue beer which is no alcohol is excellent and tastes nearly the same as the full alcohol stuff

A small glass with your dinner will be fine. If white wine you could always make a spritzer if you would prefer?

Flisspaps Sat 16-Feb-13 18:07:20

I had a glass with tea on a Saturday with my two, and very enjoyable I found it too.

rubyslippers Sat 16-Feb-13 18:07:25

a small glass of wine won't cause FAS

drinking a litre bottle of vodka every night probably will

BigPigLittlePig Sat 16-Feb-13 18:08:04

I had one craving whilst pregnant - Baileys. Cruel?! Very much so. I did indulge in the occasional tiny glass otherwise I would have gone mad (I'm also not normally a drinker either which makes the craving all the weirder). I also had a wonderful, amazing, refreshing glass of Pimms when 11 weeks pregnant.

I think if you have the occasional very small tot of something you will be fine <dodges missiles from others>

ladymia Sat 16-Feb-13 18:08:41

it's a personal choice. i wouldn't

forevergreek Sat 16-Feb-13 18:09:52

elderflower cordial and sparkling water is a good substitute

jaffacake2 Sat 16-Feb-13 18:10:57

"a small glass of wine won't cause FAS"

How do you know what damage the cumalative effect will have on foetal development ?
There is ongoing research about the damage being caused to adults livers through too much wine per week,so a foetus is even more vulnerable.

ratbagcatbag Sat 16-Feb-13 18:11:10

Rose wine, lots of lemonade, lovely and refreshing, I've had a couple over the course of my pregnancy, but no more.

How about some fizzy grape juice?

It's really not worth the risk

rubyslippers Sat 16-Feb-13 18:14:19

1 glass of wine isn't cumulative

and i don't know - i'm not a doctor

the OP asked if people had an odd glass or whether they were abstaining

NHS advice is 1 - 2 untits per week isn't it?

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 18:18:05

Have a glass and enjoy it. What did mums do before the no alcohol advice? They had the odd drink and we were all fine.

Having worked with a child with FAS I can tell you with some confidence that his addict mother drank a bottle of vodka a day. Our perfectly healthy bean is upstairs happily shrieking in her cot and was not harmed in the slightest by me having 1-2 drinks a fortnight in pregnancy. Seriously.

There is a very good article by that Guardian journo Zoe whats her face about the true risks from alcohol,eating soft cheese etc. Google it.

StrawberryGateaux Sat 16-Feb-13 18:19:10

What about a small white wine spritzer or a very low alcohol fizzy wine type thingy.

Sorry to de-rail but due to go out with friends in a few weeks, does anyone know of non-alchol or v low alchol drinks that u can purchase in a mainstream bar?
Tia-i ask this as i'm only 5wks and don't want to give the game away just yet.

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 18:19:45

And I stress - have A glass. Not five glasses. But then you know that already.

Waswondering Sat 16-Feb-13 18:21:55

I had a small glass once a week. It was poured into two glasses, so that I got a top up wink

Other tip I heard was to run a gin covered finger around the rim of a glass that you've filled with tonic, ice and lemon. You think it's a g and t, but it's only the tonic! smile

stacey212528 Sat 16-Feb-13 18:23:15

Strawberry lots of bars have the becks blue and usually a cider. If not ask for a lemonade in a tall glass, and just say its gin or whatever.

Carolra Sat 16-Feb-13 18:23:26

I was cursed with larger cravings my entire pregnancy and I would never normally drink larger!! It's really annoying and I confess to the occasional larger shandy, my lovely dd is fine... And so I think a rare glass of wine or whatever you fancy is fine. You are not going to get fetal alcohol syndrome from a couple of units, whatever the scaremongers say xxx

bakerbump Sat 16-Feb-13 18:28:52

Know there are the NHS guidelines but can't get it out of my head that as a fully grown adult (albeit a lightweight) I will feel some sort of effect from a small glass of wine, even if its that 'relaxed' feeling you get. So while I'm feeling relaxed, my tiny unborn bean is probably getting wasted in there! Have abstained so far (30 weeks)...

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 19:32:08

Some incredibly irresponsible people on here condoning something they know nothing about. In fact for some unlucky people FAS can happen very very easily so please, if there is a question mark about something, don't say it's fine because your child turned out okay.

FoofFighter Sat 16-Feb-13 19:38:08

ffs get real.

FAS WILL NOT happen after one glass of frigging wine!!!!!!

nellyjelly Sat 16-Feb-13 19:41:50


Rache1S Sat 16-Feb-13 19:47:28

Proper research has never been done simply because pregnant women are not going to volunteer for clinical studies which could potentially harm their babies. It is largely the case of the great unknown at the moment.

All these women who are on here saying they had a drink and their babies turned out fine do not know how they would have turned out if they had abstained. Would their children be those few IQ points higher? They will never know. And I pity them if it is proven in their lifetime that alcohol in lowish quantities does affect fetal development. Until death is a long time to live with that kind of guilt.

It's not worth the risk.

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 19:47:42

Foofighter you don't even the geneology of the OP. Some people, like I said, are very unlucky. I don't care if anyone drinks during pregnancy but if it turned out okay for you you shouldn't give a blanket okay for everyone.

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 19:52:39

By the way, I am 11 weeks today. Neurons are multiplying incredibly quickly. Why would you have a drink when all that is happening?

I've had some really lovely non alcoholic wine during this pregnancy. Sainsburys do a lovely Rose, if that's your bag, if not I think most white and Rose wines taste identical really.

If its red you're craving you may need more iron in your diet smile

Flisspaps Sat 16-Feb-13 20:10:03

Rache Please don't pity me or my kids if it is found that drinking small amounts of alcohol lowers IQ by a few points.

My children are absolutely perfect as they are, and I will not feel a single second of guilt.

PurplePoppySeed Sat 16-Feb-13 20:10:30

Carolra - when did your craving start, my DH has just opened a rather strong smelling beer and although I normally hate beer, the smell of this is settling my rather sicky stomach. Not planning to have any but I am enjoying smelling it! Never had that before, Im 9+3, anyone else think its as weird as I do?

BigPigLittlePig Sat 16-Feb-13 20:13:27

My mum was told by doctors to drink guiness. I turned out fine, have an excellent degree and a good job - just saying...
The OP was asking about A glass of wine - there is no evidence that 2 units will cause harm. As with everything, it isn't black & white, rather a murky shade of grey. At the end of the day, it is the decision of the individual. What I would say though is that lots of people are guilty of having a unit or two whilst pregnant, and there are really not that many children with FAS.
It's funny that people are much more accepting of women smoking through their pregnancies, despite the risks attached to that hmm

BigPigLittlePig Sat 16-Feb-13 20:15:05

purple I was borderline dehydrated from morning sickness for weeks, and had a Pimms at a wedding, which quenched my thirst and settled the nausea. Could have wept with relief.

Wincher Sat 16-Feb-13 20:22:42

Go for it OP. Am 10 weeks myself and I had asmall glass of red last nightstand savoured every drop over the course watching a film. I honestly don't think there's a problem with doing g that once a week or so.

hairymonkey Sat 16-Feb-13 20:25:58

Hmm, one glass of wine at eleven weeks, the alcohol passes through both the liver and placenta, well I reckon I could live with that guilt for the rest of my life, I have two children and I had probably a glass of wine a week with food while pregnant. I would do the same again.

Thinkingof4 Sat 16-Feb-13 20:43:18

The thing is its unlikely to be 'just one glass of wine ' for the whole pregnancy is it? If someone is drinking in first trimester when the advice is generally to avoid then its fair to assume they may also have 'just one glass' at other (less harmful) times.
I personally am abstaining, and although I can just about understand an occasional glass after the first trimester I don't get why anyone would need one at the most crucial time for brain development.

Gingerbreadpixie Sat 16-Feb-13 20:46:02

I've been craving wine too! I'm going to give Sainsbury's alcohol-free stuff a try. I like the alcohol-free lager and cider I've tried so far too.

FoofFighter Sat 16-Feb-13 21:03:05

And where exactly have I said that then ExpatAl? hmm? hmm

OP there's a big long thread on this very subject on the pregnancy board maybe you could look on there too before making up your mind to have your one glass of wine, but beware the sanctimonious carpers...

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 21:13:37

Interesting article Quite old now but I found it helpful when I was pregnant - someone had posted it on a similar thread to this. The same debates rage on...

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 21:14:43

It's got sod all with being sanctominious. You said that one glass doesn't cause FAS and I said that for some unlucky people it does. I said that repeatedly. You said that it wouldn't.

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 21:16:10

Very old article. Nothing to do with knowledge that has been gained since.

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 21:19:03

What knowledge has been gained since? Am genuinely interested to know.

lucybrad Sat 16-Feb-13 21:19:59

can you show me one link with evidence that someone got FAS from having one glass of wine.......hmm

Coconutty Sat 16-Feb-13 21:23:49

I didn't and certainty wouldn't if I were you. Just like I stopped smoking during my pregnancies. I wasn't so desperate for a drink or a fag that I would have taken a risk with my babies health, however small.

I have worked with children with FAS though so am more opinionated than most on it, but wouldn't give my opinion unless asked.

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 21:30:09

Coconutty the kids you worked with who had FAS - were their parents heavy drinkers?

I'm asking sincerely as the one child I know with FAS had an alcoholic mother. Like the woman cited in article above she drank a bottle of vodka a day.

I also dispute what was said up thread about it's never only one drink - but then I'm not a drinker even when not pregnant. I felt fine about having a glass of wine with a meal out or at a special occasion when I was pregnant. In fact I'm glad I had my glass of wine and enjoyed it as I don't drink at home and we never bloody get out now we have a baby! wink

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 21:31:06

Ps; coconutty kudos on quitting smoking - my sis had tried numerous times and found pregnancy was the one thing that helped her quit for good after smoking for 15 years smile

LegArmpits Sat 16-Feb-13 21:32:26

The only child I've known with FAS had a mother who drank a litre of vodka every day.

NotSoNervous Sat 16-Feb-13 21:34:01

I didn't have any

lucybrad Sat 16-Feb-13 21:39:07

still waiting for that evidence.

sw11mumofone Sat 16-Feb-13 21:41:07

Yes i'd also like to see the evidence regarding the baby who got FAS from one glass of wine!!!!!

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 21:56:34

I am at home so can't access documents that are on my work desktop but a quick google will tell you that alcohol passes straight across the placenta and straight into babies bloodstream and that some genenotypes are way more susceptible/vulnerable. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15957670

My mum had the odd drink and so did my sisters while pregnant and we are one big perfect genius family so I could probably risk it and did drink a few beers in my last pregnancy. However with what I've read since there's no way I would and definitely wouldn't while the brain is forming during these weeks in the first trimester. There is now some evidence to suggest that drinking in the last trimester when the baby is doing the last of its brain development is dangerous.

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 21:58:21

I would also add that I was sceptical that the odd drink could be harmful until very recently.

ExpatAl Sat 16-Feb-13 22:04:13

Anyway, to return to my original point if having the odd drink hasn't been harmful to your baby you shouldn't extrapolate that to all pregnancies because you know nothing about the mother who is posting.

jaffacake2 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:05:00

Government guidelines are to abstain from alcohol throughout pregnancy with particular emphasis on first trimester. Maximum after that would be 1-2 units per week with 1 unit being 125mls of wine.
Ongoing research is on the FASD website .
People used to dismiss the idea that smoking was bad for your health with quotes of "my grandad smoked 60 a day and was never ill " etc
Now smoking is fully recognised as dangerous.
I wonder what people will say in 10yrs time about drinking in pregnancy ?
I cant see why people would take the risk just for a drink.

yousankmybattleship Sat 16-Feb-13 22:08:50

Why would you take the risk? Surely its not that hard to go without alcohol.

lucybrad Sat 16-Feb-13 22:10:50

goodness the french must be a race full of FAS

stacey212528 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:11:18

How many woman do you know that know they are pregnant as soon as sperm meets egg? Many drink alcohol without knowing they are pregnant. My mother wasn't aware she was pregnant until she was 22 weeks and so didn't alter her lifestyle. I have now graduated university and have a good job...

I personally don't want to drink while I'm pregnant, but don't think you can throw about "facts" just because you don't agree with it.

lucybrad Sat 16-Feb-13 22:16:42

driving is dangerous in pregnancy - maybe we should abstain from that too?

yousankmybattleship Sat 16-Feb-13 22:19:18

How is driving dangerous in pregnancy?

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 22:20:51

I'm assuming lucy's point is that driving is a relatively dangerous activity full stop but that we don't say stop driving just because we're pregnant. Have to say I worried more about my long commute along terrible roads when pregnant than I ever did about having a glass of wine!

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 22:23:26

And expat thanks for link but from first glance seems to be based on people with asian ancestry who maybe genetically have a lower alcohol tolerance generally? Will have a read. I know Japanese friends at college got absolutely legless on a glass of wine. If you have other documents would love to read them as we will probably be trying for another baby fairly soon and would be good to now if there is new info! smile

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 22:24:24

Know - not 'now'. That makes it sound like I'm demanding info or something!!!

jaffacake2 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:25:04

From FASD trust website UK quote;

"But FASD only affects children born to alcoholics. Small amounts are okay."

Research shows that binges and constant low level exposure is also potentially harmful. When you drink, so does your baby. It takes approximately one hour for your body to process each unit of alcohol; it takes 3 times as long for the alcohol to pass round the system of the baby in the womb.

Flisspaps Sat 16-Feb-13 22:26:10

One glass is not a binge, nor is it constant low level exposure

yousankmybattleship Sat 16-Feb-13 22:26:29

Such a silly argument. Driving is not inherently dangerous. Of course there are risks associated with driving, as there are with crossing the road or travelling by train but those are risks that everyone has to take as part of leading their every day life. Drinking alcohol is a completely unecessary and selfish act and surely if there is any risk involved surely you simply don't do it.

sw11mumofone Sat 16-Feb-13 22:29:10

Smoking has been proved to be bad for your health. Light to moderate drinking has not been proven to cause FAS. People here have suggested using google to find links to info regarding alcohol crossing the placenta etc. But if you google you can also find studies with findings that suggest in some people light and moderate drinking in pregnancy have been linked to having 2 year olds with a much broader and sophisticated vocabulary. So - nobody has all the answers and everyone should be left to make up their own minds. Its all very well being sanctimonious and wondering why anyone would even risk one drink. But everyone is different and in some cases a glass of wine a day is preferable to the damage that could be caused by the stress they are under. And that advice came from a GP.
So while anyone with half a brain would know that a bottle of vodka a day is bound to have adverse effects, light to moderate drinking has never been proven to cause damage. So all those of you who havent touched a drop thats good for you but comments like "why would anyone even risk one drink" are patronising and unhelpful.

jaffacake2 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:31:30

If 1 glass 125mls is 1 unit which is the recommended ammount, if you must drink, per week,then the odd glass surely would be over the limit fairly quickly.
Lots of wine glasses are 225ml size.

Flisspaps Sat 16-Feb-13 22:31:52

Ah, now 2yo DD has a 'broad and sophisticated' vocabulary grin

I would say that if their is any even remote possibility it could be harmful why risk it. After all people metabolize alcohol differently. And depending on weight fluctuations, tiredness, stress how much you have eaten or drunk etc the same amount of alcohol could affect you more or less.

sw11mumofone Sat 16-Feb-13 22:38:34

Haha flisspaps!! I drank lightly/ moderately in my first pregnancy and my 2 yo DD would be scary if she was any brighter!!!!

Angelico Sat 16-Feb-13 22:41:45

battleship I don't agree. Statistically my baby was at more risk from me driving an 80 mile round trip along rural roads everyday than she was from me having one glass of wine every week.

Anyway OP so as not to lose any more minutes of my life I would say: you are a grown up. Make your own decision and stand by the consequences, And if you do decide to have a glass of wine for god's sake enjoy it and don't lie awake tonight agonising over it! smile And good luck with your pregnancy x

yousankmybattleship Sat 16-Feb-13 22:45:59

Angelico I don't think I explained myself well. I meant that you cannot eliminate risk from your life when pregnant, but you can make sure you don't take uneccesary risks You may have to drive, but you don't have to drink.

Flisspaps Sat 16-Feb-13 22:49:17

You may have to drive, but I bet you'll still make unnecessary journeys by car as well as essential ones (I don't drive)

LeBFG Sun 17-Feb-13 10:08:05

goodness the french must be a race full of FAS I live here and know the advice is no alcohol at any point during pregnancy. I, personally, have never seen a pg woman with a glass of wine.

Problem with proving a link with FAS is people lie. Particularly the drinkers. In some papers I've read they post-hoc assign alcoholics and binge drinkers as women who've given birth to babies with FAS.....so circular to say the least!

Viviennemary Sun 17-Feb-13 10:16:04

Well it's a difficult one. Can't you just taste a couple of mouthfuls and spit them out. Wasteful I know. So don't choose an expensive vintage. grin I'm not a medical person but I hardly think a glass of wine could cause FAS. Wine gums??

It's a personal decision based on what evidence you get hold of

The research summaries I have seen say FAS requires a I take close to alcoholic levels, that no harm has been see in babies borntomothers that have up to 6 units spread over a week and in one piece of research that babies born to women who had 1-2 units a week were more intelligent

Do some reading and make your choice

ExpatAl Sun 17-Feb-13 14:49:06

Yes, Angelico as I said different genotypes, ie. Asians, cope with alcohol very differently, so in an anonymous forum when you don't know the poster you should not say that drinking is okay. This was my point.

I really enjoy a sociable drink and am looking forward to a nice ice cold St Feullion but I have no idea why anyone would encourage someone who is 11 weeks pregnant, a crucial time of development, to have a drink. I was planning to have the odd drink later on but won't now that there is a question mark over that too.

Also, babies are just babies. It's when they get older that behavioural and intellectual challenges are seen. So, the argument that a teeny baby seems okay is meaningless. Not all alcohol affected children have distinctly obvious facial features. I am not implying by the way, that any of the posters are obliviously producing damaged children through drinking. I'm just saying that we can't know how it would affect someone else. And we don't know quite how another person views a drink. For example, I have wine glasses that can take near enough a third of a bottle..

Last point, my guess about the children of occasional drinking mother have bigger vocabs etc, is that the mothers are rather more sociable which rubs off onto the children.

ExpatAl Sun 17-Feb-13 14:51:21

Just seen the comments about wine gums. Priceless!

PetiteRaleuse Sun 17-Feb-13 15:00:00

LeBOF you've never seen a pregnant French woman drink? That surprises me. After my 12 week scan in my first healthy pregnancy post miscarriages my OB GYN told me to go have a glass of champagne to celebrate. This provoked a discussion on drinking and from that I came to the conclusion a glass or two a week was fine (not more than one glass in one evening though).

LeBFG Sun 17-Feb-13 16:00:25

In our birth classes the only (educated) Parisian woman present argued at length with the MW about having a glass of champagne at Christmas. MW wouldn't budge in her opinion. The area I live in is rural and conservative - in fact, the main drinkers I know are the expats and the old. The younger generation (talking 55 years and younger!) seem to have shrugged off the wino habits grin. I really have never seen a pg woman drink - seen them smoke frequently (!), but not drink.

Expat, I think the higher IQ study is linked to higher parental IQ - i.e. there were more educated mums who chose to drink lightly with the less educated women deciding just to follow zero alcohol regime. It's a very good point you make about Asians. I have a good friend who can't drink any more than a small glass of wine because of a common ADH gene mutation in the Asian population.

Fairy130389 Sun 17-Feb-13 20:03:44

oh come ON ladies, don't you think there are enough people out there ready to stone us for having a bath that isa too hot to do it eachother?! it is personal choice. one glass WILL NOT be the end of the world. Don't feel bad about it if you do. read up on it, educate yourself and make a decision. pregnancy is stressful enough as it is.

just stear clear of the crack pipe. smile

Coconutty Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:15

Angelico, I have no idea how much their mums drank during pregnancy, not privy to that info, would have been very interesting to know though.

The desire to smoke still gets me sometimes and it's been over 10 years since my last fag!

Coconutty Sun 17-Feb-13 21:02:06

Are the people on here saying emphatically that one glass won't do any damage experts in the field of FAS?

Thought not.

Apparently smoking during pregnancy is okay too, as my MIL did it for all of hers and they are all 6" rugby players....

Fairy130389 Sun 17-Feb-13 21:10:16

The point is, coco, that as a (I presume), reasonably well educated adult, you are entitled to formulate your own opinion, and make your own infomed decision. you are free to do this without being shot down in flames by somebody who decided not to take that particular risk.

glossyflower Sun 17-Feb-13 21:39:29

Women on the continent drink wine with their meals throughout. I'm not sure what their FAS rates are. Namely France and Italy.
I had severe HG for 10 weeks of my pg from weeks 7 to 17 where literally whatever I consumed I threw up, despite medication.
When I was really ill, I was advised to try flat coke even though you should avoid caffeine.
Now, I will eat and drink whatever I fancy. Within moderation. I had a glass of wine the other week because I fancied it, none before that or none since.
Over Xmas I indulged in some Stilton cheese.
Everything is fine with me and baby at 31 weeks.
Only you can decide if you want to risk it, I personally think the risk is quite low by having one glass of wine with a meal.

glossyflower apparently you can now gorge on Stilton all you like, it's too dry to harbour Listeria. More research has led to better, more specific guidelines. A bit like the reversal of the hysteria over FAS really.

glossyflower Mon 18-Feb-13 06:52:45

skiing that's made my day! I'm off to get some Stilton now!

glastocat Mon 18-Feb-13 07:23:42

I had one glass of wine every Friday when I was pregnant, it saved my sanity. I doubt it's any more dangerous than crossing the road, and would love to see evidence that FAS can be caused by having an occasional glass, surely if that were the case there would be a lot more of it about. like many people i drank loads before finding out i was pregnant! I know anecdote does not equal evidence, but my ds is 11 and is a very clever little chap.

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 09:59:13

As you can tell by the name I'm a red wine lover (alcohol gachtappo please do not translate that to alcoholic!) if you fancy a glass of wine, get a nice bottle, pour a little (usually a few mouthfulls) and sit with the glass and smell the wine and take occasional sips. This way it will last you a couple of hours, chill you out (stress is proven to be harmful to baby!!!) and you've satisfied your craving without posing a health risk! Enjoy!

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 10:18:43

Relentless stress such as having to live with domestic violence is harmful to baby. Wanting a glass of wine is not quite the same unless you're a raging alcoholic.

Hmmm, well I didn't realise I was pregnant (irregular cycle, and was under a lot of stress so AF even more erratic), and had two double G&T's when I was about 6 weeks as I was on a night out with friends. I had the odd spritzer when pregnant.

DD is 2 and advanced for her age, according to HV, etc.

I realise this is just my experience and opinion, and accept that everyone is different.

I don't smoke, and don't drink more than about 2 units a week anyway in the normal course of things.

TBH I ignored most of the "don't eat" advice too, with the exception of blue cheese. I don't eat meat anyway so no real concerns on that front. I found that when I was pregnant I had major cravings for healthy stuff, so my usual intake was plenty of water/fruit juice, a few cups of decaf tea, lots of fruit and lots of wholemeal stuff.

Have a shot glass of wine,and stop there? That's what I did

Sorry that early on. Later I did drink but I know the advice has changed.

glossyflower Mon 18-Feb-13 11:05:08

Well before I knew I was pregnant I went to a wedding and got very drunk on wine. I also had a red bull. Obviously now I know in pregnant I wouldn't do that.

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 11:06:54

Expat "relentless stress such as domestic violence is harmful to baby." I think the stress is the least harmful part of that situation if your a subject of domestic "violence", very silly! And you cannot compare the dangers of violence against a pregnant woman to a glass of wine! You sound a little stressed and wound up... Would recommend a nice glass of malbec : )

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 11:10:42

A pregnant woman who is living with domestic violence stress or similar produces massive amounts of cortisol which affects the baby. I'm not stressed at all - what an odd thing to say.

glossyflower Mon 18-Feb-13 11:12:47

I think what expat is saying that living in a household that's violent is stressful not just because of the physical violence but emotional and mental stress it can have on a person.
Walking on eggshells all the time to avoid a beating must be stressful 24hrs a day.

firstpost Mon 18-Feb-13 11:14:13

I too would be very interested in the evidence that a glass of wine can cause FAS. Of course it doesnt exist, as FAS is only found in children who had mothers who consumed large amounts of alcohol during their pregnancy. Not the odd glass of wine or those who choose to have a couple of drinks each week. I really genuinely hope there is noone vulnerable reading this thread who may believe some of the tripe being spouted here.

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 11:20:08

I just don't understand why someone would start to post about domestic violence in a thread where the op wanted our opinions on having a glass of wine, not very helpful and completely off topic.

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 11:22:44

rewwine, you said that the op should have a drink because stress is bad for baby. A point I don't think was very helpful (or correct). I answered your point. This is what happens in a thread.

If anyone wants to drink. Go ahead. Just don't tell someone you don't know that it's okay for THEM to drink because you DON'T KNOW.

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 11:28:48

So you can give advice yet I cannot? I speak from personal experience, knowledge is gained from experience, and my suggestion was not that op should get legless, much to the contrary.
also stress is bad for baby, your last post stated this, are you know contradicting yourself again? I mentioned stress as having a glass of wine is used as an end of day relaxer, and anything that keeps a mother to be relaxed and happy can surely do more good than harm.

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 11:32:15

You can say what you like. Just don't expet to be agreed with all the time.

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 11:39:26

I dont expect to be agreed with, the op was asking for "opinion" not fact. You cannot berate me for having my opinion, nor anyone else.

EuroShagmore Mon 18-Feb-13 12:08:52

And you don't know that it is not, Expat.

TinkyPeet Mon 18-Feb-13 12:12:56

OP, my OPINION is that you are an adult, you can make your own decision and if you want to drink a glass of wine then that is your choice and you should not be 'told off' by posters who have contradicted theirselves throughout this post!! Nor by anyone else, you can make your own mind up and if any 'consequences' arise then you will know it was your decisions that got you there.
My EXPERIENCE is that in this pregnancy, I had a champagne/fresh orange on New Year's Eve to celebrate at work, I can't remember how my weeks I was then, I'm 18 weeks+ now. Other than that I haven't fancied a drink this pregnancy
With my first, I had the odd bottle of lager or glass of wine, and my almost 7yr old son learnt to count to 30 at 2 and to read at 3. He's now working at an 11 yr old level in school. He is also a very popular, energetic, bubby and boysterous little boy and ill challenge anyone who would like to tell me I did him any harm at any point!!
My second pregnancy was the same, I had the odd glass when I fancied it, like everything else in moderation, and dd (2yrs) is also advanced for her age and a very happy NORMAL little girl.

LeBFG Mon 18-Feb-13 13:00:57

Contrary to what I said about French MWs wrt to alcohol, there is much more tolerance of cigarette smoking. Namely, best cut down and not give up because giving up maybe more stressful to the mother and hence have an undesirable effect on baby. I've heard MWs themselves advising this to pg women who smoke - I've heard it repeated many times from smoking women.

If you change the word 'drink' redwine to 'cigarette', does that change the advice you would give? If you're stressed, one ciggie will do you good?

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 13:07:47

LeBFG apparently the number of premature births in Belgium has dropped significantly since the smoking ban. I do still see pregnant women smoking but not half as many as a few years ago.

PetiteRaleuse Mon 18-Feb-13 13:11:01

LeBFG again, interesting, I never heard that advice or see pregnant French women smoking, with the exception of one, more than ten years ago, in Paris. I guess different regions have different advice.

LeBFG Mon 18-Feb-13 13:14:12

Yes, smoking is a well known risk factor Expat. Though I personally doubt that one fag or one glass of wine during a whole pg is going to harm anyone. However, suggesting people do this based on reducing stress levels seems a bit odd to me. There are plenty of other ways of reducing stress and (as a wine lover myself) I can't understand what relief one poxy glass will do anyway. Probably make you feel a bit queer after all those months of no alcohol probably.

LeBFG Mon 18-Feb-13 13:17:48

Oh, it isn't official advice PetiteRaleuse. But yes, I guess regions differ. My point though is something I thought of on another thread. In the UK, our views on pg women smoking and drinking are different - we despise and discourage one and preach tolerance and unjudgemental views for the other (where mothers engage lightly in either activity). I can't understand why (even though I share the same views). Am I making myself clear?

PetiteRaleuse Mon 18-Feb-13 13:42:38

Yes but there is a whole lot more judgementalness and despising of what other women choose to do while pregnant or with their children in the UK in general. In France they just shrug and go meh. But that's by the by.

Personally I think a women who smokes one or two cigarettes a week, like drinking one or two glasses of wine a week, is inunlikely to be harming her baby. But very few smokers can stick to one or two a week, so it is much better to stop completely, because smokers are, by definition, addicts and not in control of their habit. Most of us can contol what we drink however.

I recognise that in myself, so stopped spoking completely during pregnancy. I was able to trust myself to stick to one or two glasses of wine a week though.

I think that is the difference.

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 13:43:18

Because self identity is linked to drinking. I do think that lots of Brits have an uneasy relationship with alcohol anyway. Any vaguely negatively comment about drinking is seen as inference that someone has a drinking problem so is fiercely rebutted. The anti smoking campaign was long and sustained so is more in psyches even if unconsciously.

PetiteRaleuse Mon 18-Feb-13 13:47:28

That's true too Expat re there being a strange relationship with drink in the UK. I have never met French people who drink to get drunk, or who boast about having got driunk other than, I suppose, some students. And it is rare that they will even admit to having a hangover. There's a big cultural difference re alcohl between the UK and elsewhe in Europe.

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 14:01:55

Yes absolutely Petite.

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 14:04:41

LeBFG, the post is about DRINKING not SMOKING. However, to respond to your somewhat non relevant question;if hypothetically the word "WINE" was switched with "CIGARETTE" then my response would be different. I would say that Nicotine is a drug that the body is reliant upon and a pregnant mother should exercise caution when trying to cut down during pregnancy and medical assistance should be sought to do so in a safe way. Unless OP is an alcoholic (which she does in no way seem to be) then she can given the opinion that yes, a little tipple to feed your craving is just fine.
I agree with Petite, people who smoke are addicted to smoking otherwise they wouldn't do it. People who drink are not all alcoholics, therefore it is easy for a mum-to-be to regulate her enjoyment of wine to a low level whilst expecting, as per OP's question!

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 14:08:13

LeBFG, just a note you stipulated I give advice, I merely give my opinion : ). Advice is sought from professionals, opinions are sought from society.

LeBFG Mon 18-Feb-13 14:19:30

The relevant bit of the question was to tackle what you said about doing x to relieve stress. When it's a fag that's bad, when it's a glass of wine, it's OK - i.e. there are double standards at work. If one is flawed, so is the other...

I would say that Nicotine is a drug that the body is reliant upon and a pregnant mother should exercise caution when trying to cut down during pregnancy and medical assistance should be sought to do so in a safe way. Unless OP is an alcoholic (which she does in no way seem to be) then she can given the opinion that yes, a little tipple to feed your craving is just fine.

How do you know that smoking and alcohol consumption are different beasts? Also, alcohol is a drug too.

I used to smoke, and do you know why - because I liked it. Simple. I honestly loved the the very first rollie I tried. It probably took me a lot longer to get used to drink bitter beers and slighly vinegary/tannic wines. So it isn't true to say the only reason smokers smoke is because they are addicts hmm. Most women smokers in fact DO cut down drastically or give up during their pregancies.

I agree with the uneasy relationship with alcohol. It is possible to not have a dependancy verging on alcoholism to have built up a habit with alcohol and find this habit difficult to give up.

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 14:43:50

Why would you TACKLE someone's opinion?? Again LeBFG your post is irrelevant to the OP's question. She is going to need a glass of wine to read through the 'tripe' (as firstpost referred to it earlier) that has been posted on this thread!
So how do i know that smoking and alcohol consumption are different beasts? Seriously??? FML!!!

LeBFG Mon 18-Feb-13 15:23:19

I was under the impression that this thread had developed into a discussion. I was clearly wrong.

Most of the debates on MN are about tackling, discussing, challenging, disproving, vindicating people's opinions.

While at uni I remember reading in a lot of alcohol publicity. One of the indicators of people with dependency issues is drinking to 'feel better'. As you keep giving people your opinion (sorry, can't use 'advice') to calm down and have a drink, perhaps you fall in this category of person?

redredwine84 Mon 18-Feb-13 20:06:37

If your attempting to call me an alcoholic I would say that's slander. Can you confirm that's the case?
Interested to know what BFG stands for? I have my own opinions.....

ExpatAl Mon 18-Feb-13 20:11:07

I think you mean that it's libel.

PetiteRaleuse Mon 18-Feb-13 20:14:29


I think BOF has made very valid points actually

beckie90 Mon 18-Feb-13 21:11:03

My green notes from midwife says it is advised not to drink in pregnancy, but if you choose to do so, you can have 1-2 units once or twice a week.

It's a personal choice some choose to some dont, its as simple as that, just because one wouldn't shouldn't mean another can't. and I don't think 1 small glass of wine would be harmful and cause FAS. These discussions always get way out of hand.

OP what about a little bit of wine topped up with lemonade?

Purplecatti Mon 18-Feb-13 22:02:26

I craved real ale like mad when I was heavily pregnant. I never liked it before. I've been told since that hops helps breast milk. I don't know if it's true or not.
I couldn't drink whilst pregnant, even a quarter of a glass got me smashed. Plus I just badly craved a cigarette. But I wowould have given anything for a big yeasty pint of dark brown beer with a big foamy head on it

redredwine84 Tue 19-Feb-13 13:48:25

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Dannilion Tue 19-Feb-13 15:50:36

Wow redwine. Just...Wow. hmm

PetiteRaleuse Tue 19-Feb-13 15:53:00


Angry, much?

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 16:32:48

Aw, I'm a bit sorry the long ranty post has gone.

Coconutty Tue 19-Feb-13 16:38:44

I think the last post by redred was awful. The user name says it all though, doesn't it? Glad it was deleted, hope other people reported it like I did.

beckie90 Tue 19-Feb-13 16:41:25

Ooh dear what was said there lol

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 16:44:52

No I didn't bother reporting it. It was just rambling and pointless insults that weren't even good enough to be insults. And I think you get deleted for talking about a deleted post do you?

redredwine84 Tue 19-Feb-13 16:56:58

Well I got called an alcoholic by some judgemental cow, what would you do? I'd report her comment but quite frankly I have a life!
Coconutty?? You think the name says it all?? LMAO.
Report this.... Redred thinks i'm sad sap and I should just go fuck myself : )

Dannilion Tue 19-Feb-13 17:09:09


I think the above is more suited to your emotional maturity and intelligence level hunni redwine.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 19-Feb-13 17:11:54

Nah, I didn't report. I'm fairly sure LeBFG isn't losing any sleep over this

redredwine84 Tue 19-Feb-13 17:19:33

Haha, never seen so many people so far up their own asses on here. Your that self involved and have a little gang mentality, if your sat typing all day and watching posts why aren't you working or looking after your kids? I think they call it .... neglect hunni : ) MWAH

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 17:26:08

Don't worry about my kids. They're safely locked in the cellar.

Coconutty Tue 19-Feb-13 17:31:27

redred deep breaths, you're obviously having a bad day.

FAS is horrifying, spend an hour with a child who has it and be so flippant.

I'd rather be a sad sap than an ignorant cunt.smile

redredwine84 Tue 19-Feb-13 17:54:49

Oh thanks for the link, i joined and have posted that coconutty on mumsnet thinks all members of Netmums have low mentality and intelligence, i'll let them take it up with you, attached a link to this post so it can be seen too! : ) Also it seems that anyone on here who told OP not to worry about having a little wine is an alcoholic. Wow, you really have done a good job of slating hundreds of parents!
My cunt isn't ignorant ; )

Coconutty Tue 19-Feb-13 17:59:00

What's Netmums? Don't get it?

Coconutty Tue 19-Feb-13 18:01:58

Oh, okay, I think I know what you mean but sadly you are mistaken (again) and have confused me with someone else.

TMI re your cunt though...

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 18:03:25

Don't worry cocunutty, redwine has trouble in attributing posts to names.

TinkyPeet Tue 19-Feb-13 19:15:47

Seriously. Are you adults? Because you're acting like children. Pathetic arguments on a forum because you didn't like other people's opinions or advice? Is it not time to just leave it now?

redredwine84 Tue 19-Feb-13 19:29:44

You mentioned my cunt first, I was only being polite : )
yes, very childish indeed I can only apologise to the nice people who have read this xx

LeBFG Tue 19-Feb-13 19:30:21

Just caught up and haven't even read the deleted post sad...oh well <shrugs shoulders>.

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