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Did you find out what you were having?

(44 Posts)
Pocket1 Thu 07-Feb-13 18:56:30

I'm having my 20 week scan next week and think that's when we can find out if we are having a girl or a boy.

Did you find out? Would you do it again? If you

haven't found out yet, will you?
I think we want to know - but so many people frown when I tell them and say we should wait as it makes the LO's arrival even more special...

rubyslippers Thu 07-Feb-13 18:59:45


i didn't find out either time and it was fab for us and yes it was incredible for me to have my second DD placed on me so i could she was a girl

i will never forget that moment

providing you and yoru DP are happy that with the decision you make, then that's the most important thing

Kafri Thu 07-Feb-13 19:09:13

Another one here who didn't want to know, we'd tried for that long that it didn't matter to us whether we had a blue or a pink!

Just go with whatever you feel is right

There's plenty out there in neutral colours for you to not NEED to know but if you want to know then ask.

Or, keep fingers crossed that LO has their legs crossed so the decision os taken away from you.

Oh, and I was adamant I wanted a surprise and it was still difficult saying no when the guy asked if we wanted to know. I stuck to my guns though and it was lovely finding out on the day!

Whenever anyone asked if I knew what I was having I replied 'a baby'.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Thu 07-Feb-13 19:09:38

With my 1st, the sonographer wasn't entirely sure, so told us to buy neutral. (Dd)
With dc2 we had a trainee sonographer there as well, so had a detailed "this is how you can tell" talk through sexing the baby. (Dd)
Dc3 we wanted to know, because already having 2 girls we needed wanted to know if we needed to keep or buy clothes, lucky we did or ds would have stood a good chance of being dressed in pink.

Nope didn't want to know. I am an impatient person and was reluctant to wait, but now am so glad, it really does seem more exciting for me personally - plus I love other people guessing!! Lol smile

Didn't find out any of the times.
Have three girls and a boy

Have never found out.

Finding out on the day is ace!

Quilty Thu 07-Feb-13 21:10:44

We haven't found out and I'm a sonographer so I had to look away a lot which wasn't easy!
For us we just didn't feel we needed to know so thought we might as well have a surprise to look forward to. I also think not knowing is saving us money because so much baby stuff is pink or blue we are probably not buying as much as we would have done if we knew. I would imagine that if you knew then it would be hard to resist picking up bits and pieces whenever you go shopping!

JaneLane Thu 07-Feb-13 21:14:56

Have never found out myself and have 3 DSs so far and another DC on the way smile

The Trust where I had my first DS wouldn't reveal gender to anybody and we enjoyed the surprise so much we chose not to find out for any of the others.

We found out.
We both wanted to and don't see why not. I have had a few friends who tutted about spoiling the surprise but I thought it would make it easier to spread the cost of items we need.
It has helped me bond immensely after sickness from hell.
It has made it feel more real for me, knowing we have a little boy growing inside me.
And why not? We have the technology now to tell us at 20 weeks, so why shouldn't I find out?!
They will never say 100% and will only tell you if they are pretty sure so you just need to be prepared that if you were very unlucky they could say girl but you could have a boy!!

catladycourtney1 Thu 07-Feb-13 21:35:54

I planned not to find out, but we changed our minds a few days before the scan. I thought I'd regret finding out, but I feel that the excitement and suspense of waiting for the scan was enough for me, and I'm really enjoying buying lots of pretty pink things and imagining what my daughter might be like!

Also I had managed to convince myself that I was having a boy before we found out, so it's probably a good job we did! It took me a while to stop calling her "he."

josiejay Thu 07-Feb-13 21:41:18

Didn't find out the first time, did find out the second time...both fab in different ways. Both ways you are getting a surprise, just at a different point in time! x

Kelerina Thu 07-Feb-13 21:50:51

Found out, too impatient!! Really though I am so glad I found out, am 37 weeks now and I think I will be genuinely surprised when handed a real baby......

ooer Thu 07-Feb-13 21:57:48

Our NHS policy at the time was not to try and tell the sex from a scan (scans weren't that great in those days and mine was at 12 weeks or so).

In any case my DH didn't want to know in advance - so much so that it was in my birth plan they weren't to tell us the sex of the baby, just hand Baby over so we could find out for ourselves!

marriedinwhite Thu 07-Feb-13 21:58:08

Ours are older 18 and 14 now.

I don't think anything is as special as delivering your baby and finding out whether it's a boy or a girl. I think it's a gift that so many miss nowadays and part of the magic of the birth.

Will add dd was born 51 weeks after ds2 died and all I wanted was another boy to replace him. I didn't expect a girl and was scared if I had one because I didn't think I could cope with life without a replacement. Her birth and finding out I had a girl was one of the most ecstatic and beautiful moment of my life and I don't know if I would have handled it as well had I known in advance and had my "hopes" dashed. Helped that she was overwhelmingly well and healthy!

Lexiesinclair Thu 07-Feb-13 22:00:34

I found out - and definitely would again. I agree it doesn't spoil the surprise, you just get the surprise earlier, and I do think it helps with bonding, and definitely with planning and buying things.

rrreow Thu 07-Feb-13 22:17:29

The baby's sex is a fact at conception... I honestly don't understand how it's more special waiting until the baby is born. I respect anyone's opinion not to find out, but I find that particular reasoning flawed.

For various reasons I knew I would suffer from gender disappointment if my baby wasn't a girl. So I wanted to find out at the scan so I would be able to work through my feelings at my leisure. That was the right decision for me.

We found out at the scan with our first pregnancy as well and like you got a lot of mixed responses. You just have to do what you want to do, because there are always going to be other people who disagree with your choices (and it continues with other stuff as well! wink Everyone has an opinion when it comes to babies/parenting)

SucksToBeMe Thu 07-Feb-13 22:19:20

I asked both times, I found it added to the excitement!

AlisonL1981 Thu 07-Feb-13 22:32:23

Yes, at 22 weeks we had a private gender scan. Was desperate to find out. Wanted to buy gender specific clothes etc!

rainand Thu 07-Feb-13 22:44:59

Yes, and it was awesome to!

Countmyblessings Thu 07-Feb-13 23:02:19

I found out with this one DC 4 I had 3 losses and I never got to know as was early so knowing,having short list of names and actually knowing it was what I hoped for as this is my final lap is just great!
Different stroke for different folks!!!!
It's def a personal choice and I still haven't told the family so it will be a surprise to everyone else but us!!!
5 weeks and counting and I'm sure I will still be emotional and crying about it all!!!!!

Good luck!

TwitchyTail Thu 07-Feb-13 23:39:49

I found out and it was great grin I was dying to know and I hate surprises!

There was a thread similar to this recently and there was a roughly equal split between people who didn't find out, were glad they didn't, and couldn't imagine why anyone would, and people who did find out, were glad they did, and couldn't imagine why anyone wouldn't. Surprisingly no-one regretted their choice. Just go with what you want and it seems you can't go wrong smile

itsallinmyhead Fri 08-Feb-13 00:26:50

We found out with both, (DD 14 and DS 9 weeks) and decided to because, for us, we were then able to bond with our little people using their name (we also had those sorted). grin

I totally get why people want the surprise but we felt it was right for us to know and plan accordingly because we're both nosy bastards

Good luck!

Pocket1 Fri 08-Feb-13 01:22:26

Thank you for all your responses. I like the fact that nobody has regretted their decision either way - so you can't seem to go wrong. I asked DP again tonight and he's keen to know, so I think we will find out. As someone said, it will still be a lovely surprise on the day to be handed a real baby! grin

Shame about the insomnia right now though!

Startail Fri 08-Feb-13 01:33:11

Yes, I had an amniotic first time so they knew for certain and were quite happy to tell me.

DH and I desperately wanted a girl and really wanted time to adjust if it was a boy. Totally football loathing household.

Second time I wasn't as bothered, but asked at my 20 week scan anyway. She thought girl and DD2 she is.

Of course DD2 has been known to play football, tag rugby and hockey and gets out of bed every Sat for ballet. So we didn't totally escape.

Startail Fri 08-Feb-13 01:35:03

Definitely no regrets at asking.
DD1s birth took 27 hrs. It would have seemed even longer if I didn't already feel I knew her.

beckie90 Fri 08-Feb-13 08:13:09

I found out with both my ds's

On dc3 now and booked a gender scan for 2wks time, but DP now says he doesn't want to find out, I know it would be a lovely Suprise, but waiting all that time to find out seems impossible to me lol, too impatient.

knittingirl Fri 08-Feb-13 16:40:10

I'm 12 weeks at the moment, but I don't think we're going to find out. Partly for the surprise, and partly for other slightly selfish reasons that I won't go into!

sunnysunnyshine Fri 08-Feb-13 17:24:19

Yes, both times! Meeting dc1 was enough of a surprise even though I already knew he was a boy, as I'm sure dd will be when I meet her in a few weeks.

Plus I'm way too impatient...

Flisspaps Fri 08-Feb-13 17:43:55

Didn't find out with either.

katkoala Fri 08-Feb-13 23:35:07

I'm currently 27wks, first pregnancy and found out I'm having a wee boy...I love the fact I have a new wee pal and we're making lots of plans together...I'm just nosey and couldn't wait...love the fact I know his name and feel like we've bonded. ..like others say, I just got the surprise sooner grin

scoutfinch1 Fri 08-Feb-13 23:42:29

I'm 16 weeks and we are going to find out. DP was really keen to find out and I was undecided. After thinking about it we just thought it was more practical to be able to have everything sorted and bought before hand. All our family live far away and DP might not be able to take very long on PL so I wanted everything as organised as possible. Also couldn't handle the thought of sending DP out to buy clothes on his own for the baby particularly if she is a girl. I spoke to my mum about what to do (she didn't find out with me) and she said that in our circumstances we should find out if we want to and at the end of the day when the baby is born all we will care about is if it is healthy and finding out what is or isn't between their legs won't make the moment we first meet our baby anymore special because nothing can top that feeling. I think that applies whatever you decide to do- there is no wrong decision.

Sunnysummer Sat 09-Feb-13 02:03:51

We found out - I wasn't all that keen initially, but DH really wanted to. I think it was nice for him especially to feel more connected, especially as we have miscarried before and it made this baby feel more certain, somehow!

People do sometimes say that they love the surprise, but then has anyone ever had a first baby and said it was exactly how they expected? smile

MumofWombat Sat 09-Feb-13 07:51:53

Didn't find out first time around. Loved having the surprise - although everyone thought I would have a girl so I was a bit of a shock to find out I'd had a DS! - but I didn't find out in a 'normal' way. I had an emergency ga section, so I got told in recovery.
This time around we have found out and I am loving knowing that I'm having a girl.
No regrets about either decision. Each one was the right decision at the time for us.

VikingEmma Sat 09-Feb-13 10:11:16

My 20 week scan is this Monday. DH doesn't want to find out but I do. I agreed we wouldn't because he wouldn't let the subject drop but the closer it gets the more desperately I now want to know. When people say "oh but it'll be such a lovely surprise" I think yes it would be if that were my choice, but its not and I feel like I'm being cheated out of a very special experience. I suggested I find out but not tell anyone else but DH thinks I'll let it slip, and he could be right. I feel like I have to decide whose feelings/opinions are more important, mine or his?

yummymumtobe Sat 09-Feb-13 14:13:14

I found out first time round. Didn't even consider not finding out. I don't understand why people make a bit deal of it. Some people find out and then don't tell other people - I find that so strange. It's not that big a deal to keep it secret from people! I was very sick in pregnancy - tired and quite fed up as I wasn't really a bloomer and so identifying the baby by knowing if it was a boy or girl helped it feel more real and not just like something had taken over my body and was making me ill!

dinkystinky Sat 09-Feb-13 14:16:19

Found out with no 1 and 2 - now pregnant with no3 who will be our last and decided not to fund out this time round.

FoofFighter Sat 09-Feb-13 14:24:22

I kind of do want to find out because the technology wasn't there with my previous DC, but then on the other hand it really doesn't bother me, I prefer neutrals on newborns anyway, I have one of each already, I don't think I have any strong preference (maybe 55:45 towards a girl) OH doesn't want to know and says he has no preference (meaning by that, no disappointment/having to get used to it)
My hospital don't tell you anyway so would be a case of going private, already had 2 private scans so money is an issue as well.

I do agree with the finder-outers though in one respect - whenever you find out it is a surprise, and I am 100% certain it doesn't diminish the excitement on the day you finall yget to meet your baby.

MadameJosephine Sat 09-Feb-13 14:31:28

I didn't want to know but DP did so we gave the deciding vote to my 16 yo DS who decided we would find out. I was over the moon when scan revealed DD was a girl but still feel now that I would rather have waited and found out on the day

zcos Sun 10-Feb-13 08:15:33

I didn't find out... although I had a name that me and dh decided on when I was 5 months pregnant and it would be the same name whether a boy or a girl...whilst I didn't tell people it helped me to bond and talk to my baby.
I went through pros and cons and the biggest pro was the fact that it helps not knowing during birth its something for you to think of when times get tough.
Whilst I do think I could have bonded with my baby more if I knew the sex and could picture her I was suprised when she arrived how much of a personality she had already and how I didn't think of her as mine but she is another person and I am looking after her and watching her grow. What a privilege had I known she was a girl I may have placed some kind of personality on her? I will not know.
I do know that if I knew she was a girl I would have spend loads on clothes ... summer dresses etc- though I am doing that now anyway! grin
Am considering already when TTC the next that I may find out the sex as I would like a boy and it would help us plan... I don't think I would tell anyone though!

zcos Sun 10-Feb-13 08:23:13

also I did have extra scans and one at 36wks it got harder everytime not to ask. but was a lot of fun guessing me and dh would look up all the myths on the net and think its a boy ...no its a girl etc.

EugenesAxe Sun 10-Feb-13 08:24:41

No, neither of them. My DH said he wouldn't have minded knowing for the second.

I had a hunch (being a bit scan savvy) for second that was right. MW said it looked like a boy the way I was presenting, but then she came out and MW said 'No - girls; it's all girls here.' Or something like that. It was nice!

Loads of people love to know though; and I usually had the other reaction BTW! One person even implied I was silly to have forgotten to ask hmm.

BlingBubbles Sun 10-Feb-13 08:33:42

We didn't find out, and before I fell pregnant I was adamant I wanted to know but then when it came to it DH and I decided not to. I loved not knowing, we were convinced we were having a boy and when DD popped out it was the biggest (best) surprise of my life!

We are planning on trying again soon for number 2, practically I think it would be better to know whether I keep all DD's stuff or get rid of it and start again but part of me doesn't want to know again. We shall wait and see when the time comes.

3rdtimelucky73 Sun 10-Feb-13 17:33:06

We didn't want to know until we were offered the info, when we suddenly decided we did!

Despite not caring two hoots about gender and still buying mostly neutral clothes, it just feels lovely to say 'he' smile

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