Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for parents-to-be and new parents to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

Pregnant and unmotivated

(21 Posts)
gertrudestein Fri 01-Feb-13 14:51:36

I'm 17+5 with my first pregnancy. No real bump yet, no feeling of kicking, generally feel well just very tired.

But my problem is I just can't be arsed to do anything. I'm self employed, and normally really really motivated by work. I have loads of work on at the moment (& I need the money), but I can't make myself do it. I only seem to have the concentration for very small bits and pieces, then I want to look at baby clothes or plan a nursery or daydream or eat.

I also feel like I've become really stupid and forgetful - sometimes I can't even remember which words to use.

I don't feel like I have anything in common with most of my friends - those that have kids are all married, SAHMs with a lot of money, and those that aren't are quite career driven. I used to be career driven too but these days I can't bring myself to care.

And of course, I know that it's still early days in the pregnancy and most of the time it doesn't feel real and I'm worried that something will go wrong.

Has this happened to anyone else? Any tips for staying motivated and part of the real world?

ReikiMummy Fri 01-Feb-13 15:00:46

Hi Getrudstein, no tips really, just to say am very similar to yourself.

17w today.
Quit job and working notice.
Need to find another or step up on the Self employed things....

Lacking in motivation to do either.... but will have to make myself over the weekend... somehow.... :S

Must be time for another brew.................

ReikiMummy Fri 01-Feb-13 15:01:15

and apologies for spelling your name wrong.. missed an 'e'.... d'oh..... sad

ReikiMummy Fri 01-Feb-13 15:01:57

In fact, missed an "R" too.... oh flip.....
Maybe its lunchtime?

gertrudestein Fri 01-Feb-13 15:10:17

Ha ha, yes, that's exactly how I feel! Lunchtime keeps getting earlier and earlier ... kidding myself that it's 'lots of small meals throughout the day' but it's just lunch at 11.58, followed by cake at 1.30, then time to stop work and eat dinner around 6pm ... I used to get up, go to the gym, do 10 hours of work, go out for drinks ....!

This morning I found myself reading the TV Guide over breakfast, wondering what I could watch this evening. It's Friday night for goodness sake!

rrreow Fri 01-Feb-13 15:22:06

I'm feeling the same! 20w, self-employed and just keep finding myself browsing baby items, Mumsnet etc etc. Don't feel motivated to do work at all (feel very motivated to get everything in place for the baby though!). I guess for me it's because I just feel a bit bored with being pregnant and I just wish it was my due date already, as dealing with labour/newborn is actually DOING something, rather than this which is kind of like just sitting around waiting.

WeeS Fri 01-Feb-13 15:36:07

gertrudestein I want to hug you for posting this. I feel exactly the same & was worrying that it's just me and I'm just lazy! And ReikiMummy & rreow!

I'm 18+1. I'm self-employed, although most of my work comes over the summer in wedding season, so I'm not busy just now, just admin etc to be doing. There's so much I ought to be getting organised to cover my business whilst I'm out of action - which is really from now til a few months after baby is born - but I just can't bring myself to do it. Because there's lots of heavy lifting in my work I need to find someone to take over, which is pretty vital. But instead I find myself online on here, 'window shopping' online, watching a bit of tv, doing the odd errand (going into town to buy pants the size up from what I usually wear), writing lists of what I need to do. I also feel like my brain is numb and find even simple tasks such an effort. I just put money down on a pram yesterday and today I don't really know what to do with myself.

Other than eat cake (good idea!) and mooch hopelessly round the house.

I hope this is a temporary phase!

gertrudestein Fri 01-Feb-13 15:36:50

yes, I know exactly what you mean! I'm hoping it will be a bit different when I can feel the baby move ...but everything else between now and the baby's arrival seems like a waste of time ...

WeeS Fri 01-Feb-13 15:48:02

I wish I worked somewhere as an employee and had a proper structure to my day and had someone telling me what to do. The responsibility that comes with being self-employed is starting to feel like such a chore. But then the grass is always greener, isnt it....

smile

ReikiMummy Fri 01-Feb-13 15:51:14

Wow... hi all!! :D

Money's a bit tight over here at the moment... which is probably a good thing.... however - it does also mean I'm sticking my head in the sand regarding buying anything baby-related... consequently, feel just a bit stuck... no mans land kinda thing.

But heck... time stands still for no-one... least of all mummy to be and baby.

shock

WeeS Fri 01-Feb-13 16:41:28

I still don't feel like I ought to be buying baby stuff yet. At the back of my mind I'm thinking what if..

Having said that, we put down half the money on a pram yesterday But then we'll be paying it up bit by bit.

Think I'll just keep writing my To-Do Lists and pile them up til I feel energetic one day and do them all in a one-er (?)

hmm

gertrudestein Fri 01-Feb-13 17:17:30

I have just been watching 'the real housewives of beverly hills', despite a to do list the length of my arm ...

Wees I feel the same. Wish someone paid me to turn up to an office, rather than me wasting my own time and money at home looking online at baby things that I can't afford to buy!

ReikiMummy Fri 01-Feb-13 17:21:52

Oh yes... grass is always greener on the other side eh?!

Lol - there you are wishing you could be in employed-dom.... and I'm so wishing I could get the self employed-dom thing going!!

(I know how hard it is to do it at times too, as was SE'd before this last 'job'!)

Emsyboo Fri 01-Feb-13 19:23:12

OP
Sorry you feel like this I was like this at that stage with both pregnancies. I have own business do other people rely on me for their wages but 2nd trimester I found really hard to concentrate. I would procrastinate daily, was forgetful, messed up invoices and found it really hard to get motivated.
Good thing is it passed I am 34 weeks now and even with ailments of third trimester I am finding it easier to get work done, with my last pregnancy was working even in hospital as being induced. Not site if it was the reality of a baby coming and needing money or if I just got a bit more used to the hormones. Even now I am productive in my DS's afternoon naps as well as my work days.
Hope you have the same experience x x

HenD19 Fri 01-Feb-13 19:31:28

I'm 25wks and have two other DC and have become really lazy which is actually easier said than done with two little ones running around. It's not helped by the fact that my DD keeps being ill and off school which means donning my trackie and no hair or makeup as no school runs and staying at home all day. This makes me really sleepy and lethargic and it's hard work when she goes back to school. Looking forward to when the nesting hopefully kicks in.....

gertrudestein Fri 01-Feb-13 19:45:52

Emsy that sounds amazing! I hope you're right - just can't wait get back to my old self. I am holding onto the idea that things will get easier, and definitely aspire to the ability to do things while the baby naps!

My crowning achievement today? I wrote a list and higlighted all the things I need to do urgently. I still haven't done any of them, but have spent about an hour on MN's baby name finder and 40 minutes composing an angry email to a client, which I'll never send.

3rdtimelucky73 Mon 04-Feb-13 13:31:17

So relieved so see I'm not alone.

I'm 25+6 and CBA really.
I'm not working at present, my 'role' is to keep house and this involves a massive clear-out/tidy/clean/paint to get home ready for the new arrival and visitors etc.

Even though this isn't work and is incredibly important, my mind wonders terribly and I get very little done.....

SeriousStuff Mon 04-Feb-13 13:58:55

gertrudestein I've just done the same thing! - Wrote to do list and highlighted urgent bits. But still sat here on my lunch 'hour'.

I love the flexibility that comes with self-employment but since I found out I was pg (got my BFP last week and only 5 weeks gone), I'm on MN every 5mins and googling maternity wear and prams!

I'm trying to tell myself that I need to work harder than ever now to give our baby the best possible start but it's so hard and I get distracted so easily!

gertrudestein Mon 04-Feb-13 14:25:23

What a relief it's not just me!

Hmmm ... CBA is a good acronym - I might get that printed on a T shirt
hmmm ... might google T shirts for a while
Might do that better with a biscuit ...

Serious if anything, I think the two weeks after I first found out were the worst. I just sat staring at a computer screen thinking I'M PREGNANT I'M PREGNANT I'M PREGNANT I'M PREGNANT for pretty much 14 days straight.

Although I would say at 5 wks - try to distract yourself with happy thoughts about pregnancy and googling friendly nice things like baby clothes and nurseries. The internet also has lots of tragic and scary tales about pregnancy that you jut don't need to read, but which are quite tempting when it's still too early to tell anyone and you're craving baby information.

I just met a friend for lunch. Then came home, ate a bowl of icecream and watched Neighbours.

gertrudestein Mon 04-Feb-13 14:27:46

Um ... of course I know that CBA isn't an acronym
Why am I so stupid???

SeriousStuff Mon 04-Feb-13 15:15:58

I watched Neighbours too - but the storyline freaked me out a bit. Not something pregnant women should have to watch...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now