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"So have you got the nursery sorted out yet?"

(42 Posts)
TwitchyTail Mon 21-Jan-13 21:08:33

Why do people keep asking me this? Does everyone else in the world have a dedicated "nursery" freshly decorated and filled with miniature furniture and Winnie the Pooh wall art?

Or is anyone else being like me and just sticking a cot in their room for 6 months or so, and then turfing the baby out to the spare room along with whatever crap paraphernalia it has accumulated by then?

MerylStrop Mon 21-Jan-13 21:11:42

You are very wise
Some people just like the displacement activity of thinking about nursery decor to take their mind off the whole birth thing.
All 3 of mine have slept in our bed room until they were 2 and 1/2 minimum. Proving we were right to paint the spare room green and buy a new double bed instead.

LoganMummy Mon 21-Jan-13 21:15:58

grin yes, I get this as well! Our plan is exactly the same as yours!

massagegirl Mon 21-Jan-13 21:16:04

I'm not going near the 'babies room' it is currently our dumping ground and will remain so, baby will be in with us then will pop it in cot in its room at later date. Really not into the idea of a immaculate nursery that will sit empty for quite a while.

eagleray Mon 21-Jan-13 21:20:56

No, me neither, but have been asked about the nursery lots of times!

There is a bedroom for the baby, but it's more for her stuff rather than for her to use (yet). Have redecorated, but only because it needed it and it's been done very neutrally.

Must say though, it's quite a large room and has been really handy to have space to sort out babygros, assemble cot and so on!

JoinTheDots Mon 21-Jan-13 21:22:46

I did mine up just a week ago. DD is 2 years and 5 months....

I was asked all the time pre-birth, and did plan to get her into her own room from 6 months, but it never happened and we were all happier this way. She got to choose her own bedding and everything smile

I think it's just a conversation filler iykwim. People have a stock of standard questions... due date.... gender.... nursery... etc. They aren't actually interested in the main, it is idle 'polite' chit chat.

In answer to your question though - no. The house is a building site, and will be until well after the baby arrives. She will be shoved in a corner, and we'll do our best not to tread on her grin

The baby will have a job getting in there, we've got to move DS out first grin

Panzee Mon 21-Jan-13 21:46:30

RueDeWakening us too! It will be a hell of a job sorting out the older one's room, it's a total junk store at the mo.
First one moved in around 8 months, got it decorated and furnished about 7 months. smile

TwitchyTail Mon 21-Jan-13 22:45:27

Phew, glad I'm not the only one grin I must literally have been asked this question ten times in the last fortnight, and when I say no, I get the Unfit Mother look.

We have three bedrooms, but the small spare is being used as my husband's Man Cave, and the big spare is set up as a guest room which we're in no hurry to re-do, or there will be nowhere for visitors to stay. There is enough space there to store baby stuff and to move the cot into, but we aren't going to decorate it in any special way.

rrreow Mon 21-Jan-13 23:19:46

DS is 20 months and we're just getting around to sorting out his room.. he's still in our room but has to move as DC2 due in June grin

The baby will be with you for first 6 months so not required.
We will be decorating and buying new (normal sized) furniture and cot because that room is currently empty bar a desk and chair. We need a chest of drawers or wardrobe for babies clothes and bits and pieces.
We need curtains etc anyway so will get some suitable for baby but not go overboard. The walls will prob be painted cream. Baby will be in there at 6 months as our bed room is tiny. If it was bigger there would be no rush but we literally have room just for a crib/Moses basket.

Startail Mon 21-Jan-13 23:49:23

DD1 only had a nursery because we had to throw the lathe and the milling machine out the box room to sell the house.

Fresh paint and the cot looked less suspicious than an unfurnished room.

Yes, it's a very presumptuous question really! However it's mostly just idle conversation. People don't know what to say so they ask the standard questions.
It's like your first trip to mothercare when you're pregnant and the onslaught of expectations that you WILL be buying a moses basket, themed/matching linen, a cot, a pram, a high chair, and any number of expensive pieces of baby "gear".

I totally had the spare room where we shoved a flat pack IKEA dresser thing, and borrowed bits and pieces of whatever else. Baby slept with us for 6 months and then lived between both rooms for the rest of the year.
It was worse with the second as his room really was the dumping ground plus a cot....

greenpostit Tue 22-Jan-13 09:15:04

I half agree with you.

I was the only one in my nct class who didn't have a nursery when the babies were born. I put the cot in our room and it didn't go out of there until it was sold!

However I did not put little dc into room filled with our paraphernalia. You have to clear the crap!

Brugmansia Tue 22-Jan-13 09:18:45

I'm due next week and no nursery here either. We currently have 2 bedrooms and DP's need for a study so he can work from home as much as possible rather than commuting for a couple of hours a day is more important than the baby having it's own room.

We're doing a loft extension shortly so will decorate a room for the baby once that's finished.

weeblueberry Tue 22-Jan-13 10:43:41

I admit we're planning our nursery but it was in large part due to the fact that our spare room had become a dumping ground and I was just looking for a reason to get rid of it all. I also didn't really fancy the idea of having to redecorate, build furniture etc with a 6 month old baby in the house. And it desperately needed redecorated so there was no way it could have been a quick 'dump a cot in the room' job.

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 10:51:30

Oh yes, I get the shock looks as well when I say that no, we're not planning to sort out the nursery until much later. First the baby will be in our room and even later we would put the bed in the guest room, but not let him or her to play in their own room alone anyway, so there's no need to fill it with sparkly bears and baby furniture. You really only need a separate room once they start accumulating too many toys and start having playdates.

Bambi86 Tue 22-Jan-13 10:52:09

The baby's room is in fact half of my DPs music room, full of guitars and recording equipment . It's pretty much split down the middle- it's not like DC will care/notice! (Of course DP won't be blasting out loud music whilst DC is in the room....!grin)

ScottishLassAboutToPass Tue 22-Jan-13 10:55:37

I'm due any day now with DD3 and she hasn't got a nursery at the moment either. None ohf my DD's have ever come home from hospital to a completed nursery. We decorated and moved DD1 into hers when she was circa 8 weeks old and DD2 got hers decorated and turfed out of our room at about 4 weeks old.

This time round we need to actually extend to accommodate DD3 so she will be in with us for approx 6 months while the building works are completed. This together with a friends baby's cot death last year means I wouldnt want her in her own nursery any earlier anyway.

I'm quite superstitious and would feel odd having a 'ready made' nursery without the safe arrival of my baby first. We have everything in the house but it's all stored out of sight in the eaves and the attic and will only come out once DD3 arrives.

BedHog Tue 22-Jan-13 10:55:57

I got this question, mainly from the older generation. We didn't know the sex of the baby so therefore it would be compulsory, apparently, to paint the room pale yellow. confused

BedHog Tue 22-Jan-13 10:59:42

Agree with ScottishLass - have any of you seen the poignant scene in the film 'Up' where they get the nursery all ready and then lose the baby? Must make it even more difficult should the worst happen.

shineypeacock Tue 22-Jan-13 12:44:47

We need to empty the spare or scare room as we call it, to get rid of loads of junk. So planning on doing that and giving it a lick of paint before the baby comes.

We only have a futon bed that we will be leaving in there so need to buy a wardrobe, chest of drawers and cot/cot bed but will do that between now and Christmas, when we see what we want in the sale !!

Baby is due 30th July and will be in with us for a while, but all other baby related stuff will be in spare room. My sister otoh who is due 3 weeks after me has already decorated a room, ordered new carpet and chosen matching baby furniture, so im guessing its each to their own.

cyclecamper Tue 22-Jan-13 13:03:44

The baby is NOT staying in our room for 6 months. There isn't room for anything larger than a moses basket in there, so 3 months is proably the limit. After that it gets the box room (often refered to as the shoe room as I used to keep my 50 pairs of shoes in there!) but it can't go in there until the elder stepson has made room in his and his girlfriend's room for my grandfather's wardrobe and I can't imagine that happening before gladys the bump has arrived! Apart from anything, big lad is in his final year at uni, so I'm trying not to put too much home pressure on him. Not buying any furniture - scrounging and making do is my policy! No decorating either - if I was going to start (which I'm not) it would be with the peeling bathroom, not the unused box room, so gladys is just going to have to manage!

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 13:04:17

Of course if you actually want to have a lovely looking nursery, you should have one, not saying ayone shouldn't.

I'm just expecting DC1, so tell me if I'm naive, but is all that nursery stuff actually necessary and useful? I don't see any reason why I should keep baby's clothes in a separate tiny wardrobe when I already have perfectly good built on wardrobes. Should I buy a special chest of drawers that looks like any other chest of drawers, just more expensive as it has hearts painted on it? I'm also pretty sure baby does not care if the curtains have bears on them or not.

So basically most stuff would not really be for the well-being of the baby, would it, it would be for the parents. I don't think I'll be a bad mother if I don't care about all that - I do care about other baby-related things, like getting a proper car seat, for example.

Brugmansia Tue 22-Jan-13 13:26:09

Well quite HazleNutt, we've splashed out on a bednest as hopefully be something that makes a difference for both our baby and us. Dinky matching chest of drawers and changing tables aren't something I find myself caring about now.

I am 33 weeks and have a fully functional, bright and beautiful nursery. Had to go on maternity leave quite early so thought I should make myself useful!! Also prior to that it was quite dark and dreary in there, always meant to get round to painting it but never had the time before!!

I like it being ready, I go in there for a few minutes every day just to soak it all up...

Y'all probably think I'm crazy but I like it smile

Eletheomel Tue 22-Jan-13 13:59:45

No, you're definitely not alone, I remember getting grilled by MiL as to what colour of sheets I wanted for his cot, as she wanted to make sure it matched his room (which at that point was a general storage room!) She was horrified when she discovered I had no plans for an immaculate, matching nursery!

In the end, due to the complete mess of his room, he stayed in our room (and we slept on sofa bed in his room) until he was 2 year old - it took us that long to get motivated to empty and sort out his bedroom :-) (lazy? oh yes!)

Even then it's all mismatching, bright colours (light purple walls, yellow throw on bed, dark blue sofa bed, etc etc) but my little boy loves his room (now he's in it!) He has a toddler bed and a big chest of drawers - we never did the 'changing unit' thingy or the mini wardrobe and stuff.

Don't get me wrong, my friend had her 'nursery' all done up before her daughter was born, and it was lovely, it's just not me....

Myneaux Tue 22-Jan-13 14:47:21

Just a word of caution....you may have every intention for DC to sleep with you for the first 6 months (I know I did) but babies can be very noisy sleepers and this combined with an over anxious first time mother can result in even less sleep than you would normally expect in the first few months.

I speak from bitter experience...every time DS1 moved in his basket, or breathed funny or cried in his sleep i would bolt out of bed and pick him up only to find out I had actually woken him up!

It lasted about a month and then we agreed to move him into his own room and it all worked out much better for all of us (its not as if you cant hear them when they wake anyway :-).

Its also much easier to decorate, clear out spare rooms before DC arrives than afterwards when you have less time and energy - even if you dont buy into the whole coordinated nursery idea I would definately recommend doing what you can beforehand (doesnt matter then if you dont use it !)

Snowflakepie Tue 22-Jan-13 14:53:54

We got so much grief over not having a nursery, but when DD got her room all decorated and with bedcover etc chosen by herself at age 2, it was actually more special lol! She was in a crib with us until 9 weeks, at which point I could no longer take the grunting and farting from both left (DH) and right (her) and she moved into a cot in the guest room with double bed, which was perfect if she had a bad night as it meant DH could still sleep for work and not be too disturbed. But that room got very hot in the summer and we realised the smaller front spare room would be better, so that was the one that got done up as hers. We went straight to normal furniture from the cot, so a full single bed, wardrobe, drawer unit, bookcase, all which matches but is not babyish. She completely loves her room because she was involved in it all. She has slept in a cot in the middle of a building site before now, so as long as it is not dirty or dusty and nothing could fall on her, don't fret! Having said that, if someone wanted to decorate a nursery that is entirely fine too, but really not necessary. Now I just need to find a drawer spare to stuff DC2 in and we'll be sorted...

TwitchyTail Tue 22-Jan-13 15:22:12

Oh, don't get me wrong, I think it's lovely to have a nursery if you want one (and likely would myself if I had the space/money/--ability to be bothered--) - it's just good to know it's not an essential. The spare room is pretty empty with fitted wardrobes that can be used to store baby stuff, so we won't need to de-clutter. It just won't be all pretty and matching and we won't be calling it the nursery. Our baby is just going to have to learn to love beige walls (sorry Dulux I meant "Natural Hessian") grin

It does seem that big furniture makes more sense that miniature versions, when you think about how much stuff babies seem to need...

I have been warned by friends about the Noisy Snuffly Baby Issue so am flexible about the whole 6 months thing!

curiousgeorgie Tue 22-Jan-13 15:31:00

With my first DD I had a beautiful nursery completely ready by 25 weeks pregnant... And she ended up sleeping with us for a year. Then we moved!

I'm pregnant with my 2nd DD and I'm going to set up a crib in my bedroom just before I drop and that's it!

Discolite Tue 22-Jan-13 17:29:32

I'm getting a bedroom ready for the baby because I predict that the very last thing I'll feel like doing when s/he is six months old is decorating!

Having said that though I am doing it on the cheap...friends have donated a cot bed and a chest of drawers and I bought an adult size wardrobe off eBay for 15 quid. The expensive bit will be new carpet and curtains but these are desperately needed as this room was last done up by the previous owners more than a decade ago (and the carpet is very bad quality and stained).

KFFOREVER Tue 22-Jan-13 20:10:01

Im having a nursery done although not having nursery furniture in it. I have adult furniture which i intend to leave in there because they dont fit in our bedroom. Im planning for the baby to have daytime sleeps in the nursery but sleep in a crib in our room at nights. I couldnt resist not decorating our spare room. If it wasnt my first i doubt i would make as much effort as i am now. Im hoping the baby will sleep fully in the nursery at 6months. Ive heard many stories where the child gets used to sleeping in parents room and cant get used to their own room.

thixotropic Tue 22-Jan-13 20:25:00

I didn't have one. It was my office until I went into hospital.

I had serious complications during the pregnancy so I was really adamant I was having NO baby stuff in the house until I actually had the baby. I knew that we were pretty certain to be in scbu for a week even if all went well.

I got some stick for refusing to prepare, but i stand by my reasons. As the poster above says.... What if...

Dd arrived safely, but was an emcs at 34 wks. Dh and my parents dismantled the office and set up the nursery while I and dd were in hospital. If they hadn't, then I wold have sorted it later.

Quilty Tue 22-Jan-13 21:43:55

Like others have said, i think it's just standard baby chit chat, along with "Do you know what you're having??" I must be quite boring to people as it's "no we don't know what we're having" and "no we haven't got a nursery"

We have a two bedroom house at the moment and the spare room has a double bed, partners surfboards and is almost alway full of washing drying. With a quick tidy up/shove everything under the bed it becomes a nice guest room which I figure will be very handy for the first 2 or 3 months when people come to visit us and the new baby.

As baby sleeps in your room to begin with, I really fail to see the rush to get a whole room ready before baby is born but I guess it's all part of the process for some. I do get the impression that sometime people think that I'm not excited enough because I'm not doing a nursery yet but I just think that babies couldn't care less about the colour of the walls, curtains etc and I'd rather save our money for when they are older and know what they want themselves!

dizzy77 Tue 22-Jan-13 22:28:09

We got a room sorted out in that there was a second hand cot and some adult ikea furniture in it, and we had to have building work to fill all the holes in the walls (errr) and generally sort it out. But while DS was v small he was in with us, and it was still haven for likes of things and drying washing.

We did have the issue of waking each other up, so considered moving him into his own room (he was outgrowing the eBay crib in ours) at 3 months. It was only when I visited a friend with an immaculate if tiny nursery, I started to think how lovely it would be if DS had his own, quiet, dark, calm space: our room has quite light blinds and of course we're in and out of it all the time and wanted to DTD occasionally which was somewhat, er, taxing when trying not to wake him up, sorry. So we made a real effort to declutter and whilst we're still not very tidy in there we were all definitely more rested after he moved.

Yy to the "making conversation" point above. I'm now expecting DC2 and about to poke in the eye the next person who says "are you hoping for a boy or a girl?". I know they mean well. Still want to poke 'em.

BonaDea Wed 23-Jan-13 16:14:21

We've just taken the definitive decision NOT to decorate the nursery until after the baby is here. I had an almost irresistable urge to do it at first, but since then have realised there seems very little point until we figure out what we actually need and want from the nursery. At the moment I'd be buying stuff or doing stuff 'because that's what you do'. I have no idea how much of that crap we'll actually need or want or whether there will be considerations which haven't even occured to me yet in terms of use of space or things we want to include.

I've ordered one piece of furniture which is a chest of drawers with changing top and mat. That's simply because the room we have in mind isn't fully furnished and I do want somewhere to have to put the baby's clothes and change him / her. I figure that taking him / her in there a couple of times a day and probably keeping some of their toys or other kit in there will help get them acclimatised to the space, but that really decorating can be done later (FOAD we don't DO decorating and will get a man in to do it, so minimal disruption / time for us us).

For now, the room continues to have our washing drying in it and is also sporting an increasing array of baby-related paraphenalia.

Dogsmom Wed 23-Jan-13 16:26:00

I did mine at 26 weeks smile

The furniture was on half price inc free delivery and I didn't want it stood around flat packed in the way plus yes I was excited to get it ready.

I do love any excuse to decorate too and wanted to do it while I was physically able to enjoy it, I'm 34 weeks now and too huge to bend down and scrawl around. I love going in there and get so excited looking through all her stuff.

MJP1 Wed 23-Jan-13 16:28:06

Our nursery is ready and waiting, it was a dreary dark dumping room which was always the next room on the list to get painted and decorated, and with the arrival of our little baby girl in hopefully 2 1/2 weeks its fully functional, we havent gone down the traditional cutesy pink (uurrggghhh hate it) nursery route but opted for bright colourful Quentin Blakes Cockatoo wall paper and light reflecting green walls. We have used our exisiting useful Ikea furniture for shelves and storage and have slotted in the required cot/changing table.

The room looks amazing its easily the coolest room in the house now, and its really more for us than her, its a room she'll grow into and has a great cupboard to store all her crap sorry stuff, and plus its at the top of the house so when she is older we'll have her space and ours.

Its our first and we are super excited and its the huge cool room I always wanted as a little girl.

TwitchyTail Wed 23-Jan-13 17:00:45

^^ Dammit, you two have made me WANT a nursery now grin

BonaDea Thu 24-Jan-13 13:27:16

p.s. MJP1 - I have also picked out quentin blake wallpaper - called 'Quentin's Menagerie'. It has farm animals, cats and dogs etc - very lovely!

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