Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Having a baby whilst living in a rented house

(40 Posts)
EggyM Mon 21-Jan-13 18:32:06

So this is one of my ongoing worries. We do not have a deposit yet to be able to buy a house and DH's poor credit rating means we do not qualify for any schemes or low deposit mortgages- I have researched every possibility for buying a house and succumbed to the fact that it was going to take another 5 years at the very least for us to be in a financial situation to buy a house.
BUT in 5 years I would be in my late 30s so we obviously decided that we would ttc whilst still renting.

I am now pregnant (and thrilled after a mc and a year and a half of ttc) but it still weighs on my mind a lot that we don't own a house (and saving for a deposit is obviously now going to take even longer!) - the lack of security is a big issue (never know if the landlord will decide to sell - our years lease is up in June and haven't told landlord we're pregnant yet -want to wait til 20 week scan really), not being able to personalise the spare room/nursery, it not being our home.

I know there are bigger things to worry about (and believe me I worry about them too!) but just need some people to reassure me that having a baby in a rented house is not so bad...

MoodyDidIt Mon 21-Jan-13 18:35:17

are you serious??

loads of people have babies while in rented property

i have had TWO! imagine.

ffs

cairnterrier Mon 21-Jan-13 18:37:48

I've had 2! Remember advice is that babies should sleep in the same room as you until they're 6 months old so really no need to decorate a nursery etc. I do think of this as our 'home'. To me, home means the people in it, not the bricks and mortar (or concrete breeze blocks) that surround us. If you're saving for a deposit then you are looking long term to provide security for your baby. If you're worried about the landlord selling, then could you ask for a year's lease? Or even longer? Lots of landlords would be pleased for this as it guarantees them an income on their investment property.

Could part of this be pregnancy hormones kicking in and the nesting instinct and need to provide a home for the baby but magnified a bit?

Anyway, having a baby is wonderful, enjoy every minute, please don't worry if your house is rented or not.

chewingguminmyhair Mon 21-Jan-13 18:38:15

Of course it will be fine. Have you been good tenants and paid the rent on time? If so make it clear to the landlord that you're in it for the long haul and are keen to stay long term.

And you can personalise your home if rented - just google it! Loads of ideas out there. And your landlord might let you decorate it anyway. They might love you to add a fresh coat of paint. And you can get good quality wall stickers, and decorate the furniture, get pics on the wall, cool mobiles....

Lots of people rent - it's fine! What matters is that you make it a home. smile

FoofFighter Mon 21-Jan-13 18:40:29

Eggy smile you are over thinking it, honestly! x

chewingguminmyhair Mon 21-Jan-13 18:42:12
Cakethrow Mon 21-Jan-13 18:42:17

I not only had two DC in rented accommodation but it was a FLAT too.

I've gone up in the world now though as I had DC3 in a house (still rented though)

hmm

Funnily enough, the landlord didn't mind about us having children as long as the rent was paid and the place was kept well - I'm sure yours will be the same. As for your own decoration our landlord is happy for us to do what we like as it makes the tired decor look fresher for no expense on their part.

It really isn't that bad!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Mon 21-Jan-13 18:43:48

Will your landlord allow you to decorate if you return it to it's original colour when/if you leave?

FeijoaVodkaAndCheezels Mon 21-Jan-13 18:44:29

I have two children and live in rented housing. It's fine.

As far as personalising a room removable wall stickers are your friend.

Seriously i wouldn't worry! We moved to our rented home 10 years ago when pg with dc1, we're still here and dc4 arrived on new years day smile

plonko Mon 21-Jan-13 19:03:25

We're expecting our first in 5 weeks and rent a house. Like you we've also been trying to save up a deposit to buy our own place, but what little we have gets us nowhere. It's fine! We have a roof over our heads, all furniture is our own so that's one less thing to worry about, and our landlord is not allowed to have an opinion on the matter.

Like others have said, he's probably pleased because we're less likely to move anytime soon. He's also happy for us to decorate the small bedroom but we've decided not to touch it for another few months.

Pregnancy hormones/nesting instinct perhaps taking over a little?

EggyM Mon 21-Jan-13 19:04:25

Ah thanks everyone - fab to hear your stories. I do really know that its not a major problem - just having one of those days where I'm worrying about everything...

Thanks for all your tips too - will have to have a chat with the landlord in a few weeks re decorating and a longer lease.

iamwhaticallpregnant Mon 21-Jan-13 19:26:33

We are having a baby very soon and are in a rented house.
1/ Ask for a year contract - landlords are usually thrilled with this and are not likely to want to get rid of their income or sell in this climate and like that they dont have to go through the bother of getting new tenants for a while.
2/ you dont have to tell the landlord or estate agents that you are having a baby - it is none of their business!
3/ sometimes if you ask them if you can decorate 1 room they are very accomodating about it as long as it's not purple or tangerine.
4/ i just got some wall stickers from Mothercare (the Joules Oliver ones) and they are fab - and have put white sheets over the tables etc and you can get a nice rug and really make a room look beautiful without decorating it.

Good luck :-)

cyclecamper Mon 21-Jan-13 21:01:17

We live in a rented house. I was a live-in nanny until I was 36 and have never had a mortgage. My husband was married previously and left the house to his ex because she had the boys living with her. We have had both the boys living with us for several years and the eldest one's girlfriend now also lives with us. We rent a 3 bedroom house and I'm trying to clear the boxroom so that the baby can sleep in there. 6 of us in here is going to be fun! I think the the big lad and his lady will move out once he's graduated (in the summer) and got a job, but who knows how long that will take! Still, a screaming baby might encourage the younger lad to get trained/a job so that he can find somewhere of his own too, you never know! I don't think there is going to be much decorating done here though.

Badvoc Mon 21-Jan-13 21:07:28

My parents had 3 dc in a rented house and indeed still live in one and now their 5 grandchildren stay there too sometimes smile

naughtynancy Mon 21-Jan-13 21:14:52

eh?!

We live in a MASSIVE rented house that we'd never be able to afford to buy. Such a better standard of living for me, DH and our two children...

You know, pretty much the entire rest of the world really cannot understand the English obsession with owning property...

letsgetreadytoramble Mon 21-Jan-13 21:17:33

We live in a rented house and I felt the same way as you before DS was born - I wanted everything to be perfect for him. But then I asked the landlord if we could paint and decorate and he was more than happy, and as soon as I started decorating the nursery I felt so much better.

Also, the washing machine packed in just after DS was born and the back door broke - landlord came out and fixed them immediately at no cost to us - one of the benefits of renting. Best wishes for the birth, I'm so jealous of you getting to cuddle your little newbie soon smile

I'm a landlord and the last couple who rented my flat had a baby whilst living there. I was delighted for them.

You do have to tell your landlord if an extra person, be it a baby or an adult is living in the flat as your contract is for the original occupants only. They can't throw you out though, so don't worry on that front. Small kids trash things, all landlords know that, but on the flip side landlords know that families are good long term tenants, so they are usually welcoming and accommodating. I'm still in touch with my ex tenants, and get updates on how the baby is doing.

ImKateandsoismywife Tue 22-Jan-13 01:17:21

I rent with 2dcs and dc2 was actually born in the flat grin

expatinscotland Tue 22-Jan-13 01:20:27

We had 3 DCs while living in rented homes, all but one have been flats. Still in one now, with 2 DCs.

Mosman Tue 22-Jan-13 01:23:47

I do know where you are coming from, I've had 4 babies and never had the whole nursery thing - least of all when I owned my house because we didn't have the blooming money.
All I can say is whilst I do understand the whole wanting your own space thing, it's an expensive luxury and you can rent a far far nicer house than you can buy at the moment and if the neighbours piss you off or you want to change schools you just move. Simples.

MaMattoo Tue 22-Jan-13 01:25:49

You and just about all of us first time buyers have been pushed off the end of the property ladder by the current economy.

I had baby in rented apartment - 3 yrs on we are still here, short of space, short of money for a deposit and paying huge sums in rent.

It's ok. Enjoy the baby. I realised the cliche is true - they need very little when they are little. Just you, loads of love, milk and a clean nappy. The whole idea of redecorating before 6 months is silly.

Your hormones could be blamed - in which case brush it off
If that's not the case - chill pill please! It's fine. Many of us are in this position and if it can't be helped, don't stress about it.
And...congratulations!!

EggyM Tue 22-Jan-13 06:44:47

Thanks everyone - reading all your posts has made me feel so much happier smile

Glad to see you're feeling better. I also gave birth to both my kids while we rented....smile

i had a homebirth in my rented house and i have decorated ds room grin Landlord doesnt know ds was born but he knows i decorated the house and is finr with that. you dont have to go that far though grin
i work for some other landlords and he was shock that one of his tenants had a homebirth, but only because he didn't know women were "allowed" to do that (as in he thought uou HAD to go to hospital) he rents out to a few other families too.

hoobnoob Tue 22-Jan-13 09:53:47

Oh OP I could have written that!

I am on my first month TTC and we are in a rented flat, due to move into a rented 2bed house in March.

For me, the biggest cause of my insecurity is due to my family all being fairly comfortable financially, even my younger brother owns 2 properties. But I am getting over some bad financial decisions and slowly paying debts back and my DP was declared bankrupt a couple of years ago so there's no chance we will be able to get a mortgage for a good few years.

I've been wanting to start a family for about 3 years but kept thinking we couldn't as we didn't own our home, but I turned 30 a few weeks ago and we just through sod it, plenty of people have a child in worse circumstances than us.

The stupid thing is, since getting our debt under control, we are now in a much better financial situation than most of our friends with huge mortgages. And renting means if anything goes wrong with the property, it's gets fixed at no cost to us.

Good luck.

mrsR1991 Tue 22-Jan-13 10:16:22

i live in a 2 bed rented house with my partner. we had our daughter whilst living here and i am now pregnant with our second. we have to find a bigger place though as the rooms here are too small for 2 children. i say just be thankful you have a place to call home for now until one day you can get a mortgage. to be honest my partner and i are sure we won't be able to afford a mortgage for many years to come yet as after second baby is here we will be saving for our wedding xx

elsabel Wed 23-Jan-13 18:43:47

As many of the other women have said its not a problem, and the way i look at it is-tough! Because the way things are now its so hard to own your own house! I am renting, 21 weeks pregnant and were moving in april at which point il be 34 weeks. If we hadve waited we wouldve waited years and we desperatly wanted children. I know its another stress to think about but if you have to move you will manage, its not easy but neither is having a morgage either. Besides there are good sides to it too, like hoobnoob said there are some things thay are the landlords responsibility and you dont have to worry about. Good luck and try not to worry..youre having a family and im sure there are people who own their own house without children who would rather it the other way around. X

ScottishLassAboutToPass Wed 23-Jan-13 19:01:27

I don't have any personal experience of this but my pg friend feels exactly the same as you!

We 'own' our home and are tied to a massive mortgage and substantial 4 figure monthly repayments. Unless you own your home outright with no mortgage then you're probably not in that much more stable a position than if you rent.

If owing a home is what you want you'll get there eventually. In the meantime try not to stress and just enjoy your pg and new baby when the time comes. Goodluck!

Chesterado Wed 23-Jan-13 19:07:19

I could have written your post when pregnant with dd. we were renting and terrified the landlord might put the flat we were in on the market plus I had all the wanting to decorate the room nesting instincts.

I would chat to the landlord as soon as you can. Ours was fab, confirmed they were not about to put us on the streets and even got us new carpets in the baby's room. With that and wall stickers and new curtains it made a big difference. Would also echo what others say about not having the stress of owning whilst dealing with a baby. We are lucky in many respects that we have since bought but are now expecting dc2 and now have a long, disruptive and very expensive list of things that need doing before he or she arrives!

holidaysdistantmemory Wed 23-Jan-13 20:01:28

I know EXACTLY how you feel, if its any reassurance. Before I had dc's I would have been horrified to have them in a rented house, very silly I know, its probably just because you base it on your own experience and I was born and grew up in the same house (which my parents still own) so there are memories there. Plus of course the pregnancy nestbuilding hormones.

Anyway, due to my dh retraining, we were still renting when both my dcs were born, dc1 in one house (that was vey grotty, gas leak, psychotic neighbour who played loud house music throughout the night when us getting little sleep as it was, dead pigeon falling down open chimney, bee infestation) and DC2 in a lovely newbuild. It did grate that I couldn't decorate a nursery for them, put up shelves, etc. And visiting friends who had lovely childrens bedrooms brought out the green eyed monster. And its sad that we no longer live in the houses where my (still young) dc's were born.

On the PLUS SIDE, we now have our own house, and its a cliché I know but waiting does make it even more brilliant when you finally get one. The carpets and walls are clean (as all the baby muck happened when we rented!), and the kids bedrooms are decorated for how they are now, not baby themes. And it was kinda nice to go through the early baby years without having to maintain a property and just pick up the phone to the landlord rather than spending weekends doing DIY. And lastly we live just around the corner from our last rented house, so I still can think about bringing my dc2 home for the first time when I walk past it. Good luck!

SirBoobAlot Wed 23-Jan-13 20:21:11

I am renting. My landlord let me paint as long as the colour was kept reasonably neutral (only wanted to do the one room, as it was a vile peachy colour when we moved it, it's now a pale blue that was reduced in B&Q). I spoke to them about the security concern. My landlord does all his properties on rolling contracts, but was good enough to reassure me that he had no plans at all to sell, and that if, for whatever reason, he decided to, would give me as much notice as possible, possibly up to a few months. Really nice guy, actually.

I'd tell your landlord as soon as possible, really, so that you have enough notice if he does decide to terminate the contract.

Really, you are stressing about this completely unnecessarily.

barley2 Wed 23-Jan-13 20:52:01

Here's the thing- I have just bought a house my baby's due in three weeks (nm3) and having major regrets/ problems and seriously would rather I had the freedom renting gives you. You can move when you want without mortgage fines, the hell of selling etc you also can ring your landlord when problems occur instead of having massive rows and nagging your Dp. Would you like to swap? Good luck with your pregnancy :-)

Pritchyx Wed 23-Jan-13 22:25:37

I know how you feel, I'm only 18 and was living with my parents, however there is no room whatsoever at my parents, and very little space in my partners parents (he has the box room) so its bad enough that me and him are squashed in there. So we have no alternative but to move into a rented place as we financially are unable to buy and have no deposit anyway!

We got accepted for a house, very close to both our workplaces, in between both sets of family and within reasonable walking distance to shops and major bus routes! One problem, after putting handling fees down and the landlord agreeing to the renting price, he has now upped the monthly rent AND deposit which I'm more peed off about as I'm due in under 16 weeks, and cannot get stupid money for a deposit or afford to be paying the stupid price while on maternity leave.
My partner is whinging about us losing the £240 fee if we decline the property now but never mind!

If you ask the landlord, most will allow you to decorate, as long as it goes back to a neutral colour when your tenancy ends. They're usually laid back unless they have to put their hand in their pockets!

justhayley Thu 24-Jan-13 00:00:24

Wall stickers! You can personalise the room and peal off when it's time to move. You can also decorate a rented house if you return it to it's usual magnolia when you leave!
Congrats on your pregnancy x

SirBoobAlot Thu 24-Jan-13 00:40:25

Pritchyx - find somewhere else, they don't sound like somewhere that will treat you fairly.

Pritchyx - if the landlord has changed the terms AFTER you have paid your fees the landlord/agent has to refund you (if the terms were the same but you'd changed your mind then no refund would be due). I managed a letting agency for 10 years.

Anyway, back to business smile

Pritchyx Thu 24-Jan-13 17:53:59

petty and sir been back to estate agents and argued the toss until they sorted it! Hopefully should be sorted now the documents have been changed! Bloody useless people! X

specialsubject Thu 24-Jan-13 18:03:00

our last tenants arrived as a family of three and left as a family of four. You certainly don't need to say anything and the baby as a minor does not need to be added to the lease. I suppose if a small house was filled with a huge family then the landlord might want new tenants to reduce wear and tear, but babies don't create wear and tear so even if you have octuplets it is not an issue for years. :-)

the addition of a baby was of no relevance to me as a landlord at all - except to say 'congratulations'.

BTW - current rental contracts are unaffected by property sale, the new owner just becomes your new landlord. If the landlord does want to sell it is generally better to wait to the end of the lease and sell the place without tenants. If he hasn't had the property for years (so big gain to cash in) and he doesn't want to move back in - then if you are good tenants there is every reason to keep you right where you are.

highspirits Thu 24-Jan-13 18:06:09

Am renting, single parent, have moved twice since pregnant with DC1 always in private rented, have 2 DCs now - it is fine. If nasty neighbours move in next door, you can move more easily than if you had bought - that's one positive!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now