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9w+5d pregnant - work and snow

(50 Posts)
LoveYouForeverMyBaby Fri 18-Jan-13 13:26:11

work do not officially know I'm pregnant although I have overheard two directors gossiping about the fact I am, so unofficially they know.

I have a 14 month old I need to pick up from my MIL and worried about getting there and back home (it's a tube rifde away from home) from work all in the snow when I'm pregannt, plus with a pram.

I really need to leave now and have asked if I could leave earlier but they've just said to keep an eye on the weather. I have and it's getting heavier.

what shall I do? I'm petrified I'm going to slip and miscarry. I';m actually in tears at the moment.

shall I bite the bullet and tell work I'm pregannt (they've sent a 14 week pregnant woman home who also has to pick her her child) and hope they send me early? I was hoping to keep it a secret until the first scan as it's a very gossipy environment.

jazzcat28 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:32:46

Under the Health & Safety at Work act your employer has a duty of care to all its employees. Regardless of whether you are pregnant or not you should be able to get home safely and if that means leaving work early then so be it.

Also as you already have a child you have a right to excused absence as a parent to tend to their needs.

I would say that you just want to be on the safe side and sort out your DC before the snow gets bad.

If it helps, I'm in Southampton where it's been snowing since 3am and hasn't stopped - I now have 6 inches of fully settled snow

I would go. The pregnancy shouldn't come into it at all.

VinegarDrinker Fri 18-Jan-13 13:35:41

I'm not sure how you being pregnant affects this? Even if you did slip over it is extraordinarily unlikely to affect your pregnancy in any way, particularly at a stage when everything is safely packed away within the pelvis. Picking up your other child obviously will affect your plans though.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Fri 18-Jan-13 13:43:20

vinegar you're not sure how being pregnant when it's icy and snowy is an issue?

It's my concern that if I did fall over there is a chance of miscarriage. how likly this is to happen whether i fell or not ir irrelavent to me. what is relevenat and a concern to me is the fact that the risk - whether it be small or not, is still there.

as i have miscarried previously i am always cautious during pregnancy.

Obviously my company feels the same way having let another pregnant women leave early - she has annouced it where as I haveb;t.

anyway I don't think i need to justfiy why as a pregnant woman I am cautious about slipping over when it's icy and snowy.

RugBugs Fri 18-Jan-13 14:35:11

Can I suggest you get yourself some snow grips for your shoes? They're about a tenner in millets/north face etc and you will be a lot more stable on your feet.

Maybe the other woman had to collect a DC from a closing nursery? Your DC is with family so perhaps in the eyes of your employer there is no pressing need for you to collect?

Battlefront Fri 18-Jan-13 15:00:07

Your DC is safe with his/her grandmother. Presumably if conditions really get that bad, she can safely stay there for a while, maybe until DH can collect if you're really that concerned about going out. I'm sure no GM would refuse in an emergency. But, you're in London (near the tube) so conditions really aren't going to get that bad before the end of the working day.

I'm sorry if I sound unsympathetic, maybe I'm in a foul mood, but this is why some employers are reluctant to employ women.

TwitchyTail Fri 18-Jan-13 15:16:33

I would just politely ask to leave early to make sure you can pick up your child, and offer to make up the time by arriving early/staying late on another day. Pregnancy doesn't need to come into it.

TTCmay Fri 18-Jan-13 15:27:55

I work in London and live in outskirts and have left early- my employer was absolutely fine and i said I would log on from home so not a problem. My main concern was getting stuck on an absolutely packed tube (I have found travelling v difficult and have fainted this pregnancy) and also I wanted make sure I would be able to pick up DD from childminders

I think you are perfectly entitled to have added concerns in the snow when you are pregnant.
Good luck getting home !

Mutley77 Fri 18-Jan-13 17:20:58

Sorry but I'm another who doesn't understand the relevance of pregnancy to snow ! I am 18 wks and walking around as usual - obviously I wear suitable footwear to prevent slipping - but with fresh snow you are less likely to slip over than when the pavements are icy (much more regular at this time of year and surely you wouldn't avoid work whenever this occurs.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Fri 18-Jan-13 18:56:19

Noted - remind me - an emotional pregnant woman whose miscarried before and and scared to slip on a patch of ice not to come here for sympathy again.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Fri 18-Jan-13 18:57:48

Thank you ttcmay by the way.

McPhee Fri 18-Jan-13 19:02:15

Ignore them

Some people in this world, sadly find pleasure in making someone else feel shit.

Hope you got home safely x

Mutley77 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:11:48

I think you need to remember that in pregnancy you are often more emotional and anxious than usual and it seemed as thought you were asking whether or not your fears were rational. Sorry if you were not asking for views about the risks to your safety which is what I thought you were asking. If you do feel you were being rational then of course you should have insisted on leaving, not asked a forum whether you were doing the right thing.

Hope you got home ok.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 06:17:10

I was being rational. Its starkingly obvious as a pregnant woman its a good idea not to fall over...when there is adverse weather like snow and sleet it makes the risk of injury increased. Its obvious and simple and for life of me cant see how such a thing can be debated. It seems alot of people here will argue or take an opposing view no matter the subject matter.

Lets look at this rationally - there was settled snow outside my work, it was getting heavier and colder certain troden areas turned icy. I am pregnant and voiced concerns as to slipping and miscarry...and I was met with comments telling me I'm absurd and the implication that in the history of time such a thing has never happened.

In the future save the debate for aibu.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 06:21:01

Thank you mcphee and mutley, I got home fine although I slipped about in places...not a fan of snow in london as it turns patchy ice very quickly.

meditrina Sat 19-Jan-13 06:35:10

The reason that there is little sympathy is that do not cause MC in the first trimester. Possibly your bosses know that too, and djustments made for PG are based on evidence. There was no medical issue here. So what is left is the emotional need, and that is not a workplace matter - you are employed to do a job.

The suitability of your commute/childcare issues is your responsibility, not your employers. If you're commuting across London regularly, the you should certainly consider getting one of the narrower and lighter pushchairs rather than using a pram.

That said, I do sympathise with the emotional needs you have described, suggest you seek support in RL. If you feel you are no longer capable of doing your job, because of stress or other MH issues, then see a doctor.

McPhee Sat 19-Jan-13 09:05:52

And had this been posted by a well known/loved regular, the advice and outcome would have been different. Fact!

I think some people are just up for taking their own rl issues out on an invisiab;e person, for their own ego.

Come and have a go at me, instead of a worried mother to be....I couldn't give a toss.

Mutley77 Sat 19-Jan-13 10:00:51

I find this really interesting - it wouldn't occur to me that at any stage of pregnancy I couldn't go out as normal in the snow (with care being taken not to slip) - I can't see that it is rational for me to stay in for the next week while there is likely to be snow on the ground. What do pregnant ladies in Canada do?

Of course I understand you feel emotional and worried about it. I feel anxious about driving in this weather. However I can't see that it warrants "special treatment" on the basis of being pregnant.

I have also suffered 3 miscarriages. I don't believe any of them was caused by anything - miscarriages are sadly just one of those things. So presumably that affects my behaviour.

massagegirl Sat 19-Jan-13 10:41:12

Wow some incredibly unsympathetic ladies on here.
I was worried about slipping in the snow too. It's your body and your baby and you've had an upsetting time in the past. Today I was meant to be going to see friends, 2 trains and a tube ride away with fairly long walks either end. I decided not too go as realised it would take me forever to waddle to the station trying to not fall over. My friends were very understanding. I'm sorry you've had a negative reaction on here. If its snowing on Monday my employer tells me to work from home. Hope you have a good weekend.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 13:16:00

Oh dear god. Lets get a few things straight:

1. I do not feel I cannot go out at all when it snows. I have in no way ever said or implied this.

2. I do feel that when there is adverse whether caution and extra care should be taken b everyone, ESPECIALLY pregnant women, as a fall can cause a miscarriage.

3. Having previously stated I have miscarried (incidently around the week I am now) I am lightly more cautious, and the adverse weather hasn't helped this feeling.

4. I feel more than capable of working and do not need to seek help in rl. However, not many ppl know i am pregnant as I am under 12 weeks, hence coming online for "support".

5. Just so we're all clear what I am saying here - I am capable of working when pregnant, I did up until 9 months with my first. I am capable of commuting in the snow and during adverse whether. However i feel extra care should be taken and extra consideration should be given to pregnant women during said adverse weather, because an accident is more likely to happen during adverse weather. If you are pregnant and you do not wish to have extra time to complete your community during bad weatger, by all means, don't. I however, I was voicing concerns because I am pregnant. Did not want to slip and fall in the icy weather, and have a toddler to pick up and commute in the heavy snow (which it was a the time of writing yesterday).

This is all I wish to say on this issue. By all means if some of you wish to continue being argumentative, please be my guest.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 13:21:46

And for the record meditrina I am extremely offended that you have insinuated I have mental health issues simply because I have voiced concerns at slipping over in the snow when pregnant. I gave no indication I have MH issues and have simply said I am extra cautious about miscarrying because I have miscarried in the past. Insinuating I have MH issues over this is extremely offensive - especially to ppl who genuinely have them, and should not be banded around loosely.

meditrina Sat 19-Jan-13 16:24:21

You will see from the link I posted that falls do not cause first trimester mc.

I am concerned from your post that your emotional state is disproportionate to your circumstances. You are of course right that there are many possible reasons, and MH issues (depression, anxiety; leading to irritability and aggression) are common. Your apparent over-reaction to a neutral statement about your well-being reinforces why I am concerned for you. There is nothing offensive about concern over MH, and there ought to be no stigma in considering it. It wasn't 'bandying': it was a suggestion framed in terms of getting proper medical advice. It is up to you to decide whether you do this or not, but I hope you will at least think about it.

McPhee Sat 19-Jan-13 16:46:35

Meditrina I find your insinuation offensive too. No, mental health issues aren't something which are swept under the carpet, but for gods sake women. I think you're making your own thread up here hmm

May I suggest, that before you go around telling people they may have mental health issues that you.....well do you know what....If I type what I want to say I will be banned.

I've never come across such a down right rudeness....

CarriePie Sat 19-Jan-13 16:51:18

I'm not really sure why there has been such issue with regards to the OP question. I am 11 weeks and it took me twice as long to walk home from the station as usual last night because I was absolutely terrified of falling over.
I was also in the position where I almost told one of managers that I was pg because I was worried about getting home and wanted to leave early. Except I was saved because he said at 2 that everyone could go home.

I think there is a lot of judgemental comments from other posters on here and I think just a simple recollection of the worrying that occurs with early pregnancy would have been a bit kinder to the OP.
For what it's worth I sympathise and I think as your colleague had been sent home maybe a quiet word in the ear of your boss might have been a good idea.
I hope there is no more snow! Good luck with your pregnancy!! X

HomeEcoGnomist Sat 19-Jan-13 17:00:42

OP - I think you've answered your own Q, no? The other lady has told them she's pregnant, you have not.

If it is that concerning for you, tell your managers. Then they will be able to take into account any particular H&S concerns.

Notmyidea Sat 19-Jan-13 17:31:50

op, I'm at the end of the second trimester, know my balance is "off" and am petrified of falling in the snow, too. Tell your manager!

DejaB00 Sun 20-Jan-13 16:23:54

OP, another unsympathetic one here. During my last pregnancy I had to walk a mile in the snow to see the midwife because it wasn't driveable. I was 28 weeks pg. Baby and I survived to tell the tale.
And for the record I have previously miscarried, and am now 5 weeks pg. I don't feel I should be treated differently to any of my colleagues because of the weather.

VomitingVeronica Sun 20-Jan-13 20:16:45

You lot clearly are in a bad mood! Have some heart. There is nothing wrong with being careful and cautious right from the beginning of pregnancy. The OP hasn't had her dating scan yet so her dates may change and if she is pregnant with multiples then her uterus may have already started to rise, just because the statistics say it is unlikely doesn't mean it isn't a risk. And even if the statistics say that miscarriage isn't a risk in the first trimester, the OP's body may still be compromised by a fall. The relaxin running around your in the first trimester means that the OP herself could still end up with injuries from a fall greater than if she weren't pregnant - not fun when you have another one at home demanding you play and carry them around. If the OP felt anything like I did early on then she may already feel dizzy and weak then falling over in the snow/ice may be more likely.

OP, its a bit late but I would have asked to go and get your lo and offered to make up time at home or over the next week and not mentioned your pregnancy unless you had to.

ExpatAl Sun 20-Jan-13 20:57:20

This is a strange bitchy thread. My colleagues's ds slipped on ice in first trimester. She bled for a couple of weeks afterwards and was terrified.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 21-Jan-13 06:07:55

Thank you vomitting and expat I agree a very strange bitchy thread indeed. All I wanted was to leave work slightly earlier so I could be alot more careful when I walked back in the snow and ice. I am actually shocked at how bitchy and unsympathetic many people have been on this thread. The consensus being "i've walked x miles in the snow when I was overdue you're being unreasonable to be nervous and cautious" which lets face thats what I am regarding snow/ice during pregnancy - nervous and cautious - is in my opinion is pretty horrendously nasty.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Mon 21-Jan-13 06:28:57

The is a similar thread elsewhere which was started by a colleague of a pg lady who is refusing to walk in the snow, possibly influencing people's reactions?

Op I understand why you are nervous, the risk is minimal but you don't want to take any do you?

BranchingOut Mon 21-Jan-13 07:00:38

No one remembers ever being worried in pregnancy then? Jeez.

I agree that the main risk is probably sprains and strains due to the increased relaxin rather than mc, but should the OP not ask the question?

Hope you got home ok OP.

The op expressed a worry that if she slipped she would miscarry. Posters have informed her that isn't the case. I see no problem with this thread. Being pregnant doesn't exempt you from hearing that you aren't reacting sensibly.

DejaB00 Mon 21-Jan-13 08:22:01

branching I am pg and I am worried, but certainly not about walking in the snow. It's irrelevant!

sundaesundae Mon 21-Jan-13 08:34:38

I have chosen to cancel a trip to London today due to my road being 4inches deep in snow and the main roads being very icy, I'm 31weeks, and it was a very hard decision. I am more concerned about car accidents than anything else at this point or breaking a limb so close to labouring!

pumpkin3 Mon 21-Jan-13 10:23:03

LoveYouForeverMyBaby - i completely understand your concerns and worries, and i cannot believe how unsympathetic people can be.

Having been through the trauma and heartbrake that comes with a miscarriage, I understad how you never want to experience that again and would want to do anything to prevent it.

I wonder if these heartless people think its unreasonable or overdramatic of me at 31 weeks pregnant to not go into work today (i am working from home which is something my manager despises - but i made it clear to her that i did not want to take the risk of travelling in, and would only do so if she insisted on it)? If i was to fall over, could you imagine if i was to fall on my front and was unable to break my fall with my arms? Or even what that impact on my pregnant body would be? After all my pregnant body is much more prone to injury due to looser ligaments and less stable joints!

The shift in a pregnant woman's center of gravity can result in a loss of balance, too, which makes falls more likely. In addition to causing harm to the mother, a serious fall could be risky for the baby, possibly leading to preterm labor or premature separation of the placenta. (babycentre.com)

birdofthenorth Mon 21-Jan-13 10:55:18

Wow, what mean posters. I've had two miscarriages and am now 28 weeks and frankly would still put the safety of my baby above all other considerations.

OP, I would tell employers you feel unwell and are worried about a later snowier commute when feeling unwell. Tell them about your pregnancy later whenever you had planned to do so. I wish you all the very best in continuing a healthy pregnancy.

PatsyPear Mon 21-Jan-13 10:55:51

OP, I’m afraid IMHO you’re overreacting.

I’m currently 7 months pregnant and on Friday and today have been walking in the snow (and ice!) to and from work and nursery (2 miles each way) with my DC (3.5) as the roads have been too slippy to drive safely (we have a rubbish small car). It’s good exercise in the fresh air and good fun for my DC, making snowballs on the way. I take a sledge and pull our stuff (and DC some of the way) in it.

As long as you take your time and wear appropriate clothing and footwear I really don’t see the issue at all. What do you think pregnant women in cold countries (Canada, Scandinavia etc) do when they have snow for months every winter? Not go out at all?

DejaB00 Mon 21-Jan-13 11:01:17

Again, the miscarriage thing is irrelevant too, I previously had a mmc at 11 weeks and was heartbroken (see I do have a heart), but I am not worried about walking in the snow at all at 5 weeks pg now. I've just been making a snowman with DS, carrying big balls of snow around the garden, nothing wrong with it whatsoever!
I understand that past 30 weeks balancing can be difficult and i would perhaps not have been so harsh had the OP been that far along, however she is 9-10 weeks.

ExpatAl Mon 21-Jan-13 11:06:38

Good for you Patsy. I wouldn't dream of doing that as I lost a baby at nearly 26 weeks. I'm stunned at the attitude on this thread that everybody's pregnancies are the same.
The Canadians drive everywhere. No idea what Scandinavians do, but if a woman over there had suffered a miscarriage before I expect she'd be very cautious too. The OP was stressed and hormonal and posted when in a flap.

pumpkin3 Mon 21-Jan-13 11:17:56

No one is saying that pregnant women shouldnt go out at all......just having the ability to make other arrangements....e.g leaving early to allow extra time to walk slower, to work from home if possible......why shouldnt we be able to take every precaution possible? The amount of times ive been on a train where i have literally been afraid of being squashed (they are that packed!!) - the trains are even busier in this weather due to reduced services. There was one night a few years ago when i didnt get home until 11pm despite leaving the office at 5pm. (thankfully i wasnt pregnant at the time) - i cant imagine how that would feel at 31 weeks pregnant!

At my last work place my husband drove me in and walked me to the door just to make sure i had someone helping me balance. As i now work further away from home making such arrangements is much harder.

As for if i was living in Canada or Scandinavia.......i would assume they are much better at preparing and manging roads in this weather....whilst our main roads may be clear all back raods are/will become an ice rink.....where possible i would avoid going out (asking friends/relatives to help with pick ups of DS) or make sure i am not travelling alone.

PatsyPear Mon 21-Jan-13 11:25:29

ExpatAl, I have suffered 4 miscarriages so do have some experience of them, hormones and all, so understand the worry. My point was that if you take appropriate precautions IN MY OPINION there is no issue in going outside, therefore no need to worry. In fact, it may be good to go outside and get some exercise and fresh air. When I was pregnant with DC (after 2 miscarriages) in 2010 (remember that snow?) I also walked around in the snow and ice.

For what it's worth, I am reliably informed by my work colleague (Swedish) that pregnant ladies there go out in the snow and ice.

ExpatAl Mon 21-Jan-13 11:39:29

The OP knew she would have to walk in the snow and was planning to do it although the thought of doing it worried her. She just wanted to leave earlier to do it because she also had to pick up her dc.
What she wanted to know is whether she should tell her bosses that she's pregnant so they would let her leave early.

Petcat Mon 21-Jan-13 12:51:55

Wow, some people on this thread are being so mean! It's really unfair to imply someone is being irrational for wanting to protect their unborn baby.

It's still really snowy and icy where I live so I am working from home today. My manager and all my colleagues are perfectly understanding about this. I'm much clumsier than normal and I have PGP so I dread to think what damage I could do if I slipped over. The risk of miscarrying might be small but it is real, especially after the first trimester.

IMO if you can avoid the risk of hurting yourself or your baby then why not do so?

OP I told my manager about my pregnancy far earlier than I would have liked due to safety risks in my role. I'm very glad I did, as I had a difficult first trimester and needed time off. If the weather's still bad down your way might it be worth confiding in a manager you trust?

kitsilano Mon 21-Jan-13 13:00:58

OP - luckily falling in the first trimester is VERY unlikely to cause a miscarriage so although it is natural for you to be generally anxious having had a miscarriage in the past, this should provide some reassurance.


I actually fell down a whole flight of stairs and broke my arm when 16 weeks pregnant, DD2 was fine.

toobreathless Mon 21-Jan-13 13:35:40

OP what do you do as a job? I think if it's something where you going home early is not going to cause huge problems then go for it. It's not worth the worry to you.

And I say that at 29 weeks + and being sent out on home visits to see patients. But they are ill & the risk to them of note being seen is higher than the risks of me slipping on the ice. It's entirely different if you're say in an office say.

SaggyOldPregnantCatpuss Mon 21-Jan-13 13:56:56

What a foul thread! Such a total lack of sympathy! Presumably, if you arent able to relate to the worries of a pregnant person, then the pregnancy forum should be avoided? hmm Just because something is unlikely to happen doesnt mean that we cant worry about it!
OP as someone else suggested, get some shoe grippers. I have some for work and they are fantastic! and while we are at it, there are one or two posters who could do with a grip

MrsMarcus Mon 21-Jan-13 15:20:50

I’m reading most posters’ responses as more symphatetic than that. I don’t think it is "bitchy" to point out that falling over at 9 weeks pregnant is unlikely to cause miscarriage or that plenty of pregnant women go out in the snow, here and in other countries. If the OP is in tears about having to go out in the snow then perhaps some reassurance (whether based on personal experience or medical information) that walking in the snow/ice is ok as long as you’re careful, and even if you do fall over you’re going to be ok, is needed.

I fell over badly walking down a slope when I was 9 months pregnant with DC (broke my ankle). It happened in June so there was no snow involved, I just couldn’t see where I was stepping as my bump was so big! My doctor friends assured me it was absolutely fine as the baby is so well protected in the womb, even in later pregnancy (and even more so early on). And it was, though the broken ankle was a pain, giving birth...

Good luck, OP, try not to worry too much, go out and enjoy the snow with your bump and DC.

BB01 Tue 22-Jan-13 10:23:31

I don't think there's anything wrong with people pointing out statistics etc but do not agree OP is overeacting, and if she is, then she's in good company! I am completely paranoid about slipping as it is and even more so now am PG (esp as know if I slip I have to trek even further in snow to go and get anti-d injection). There may be other reasons why it worries her so much like the previous MC so please don't be so quick to jump down people's throats even if you can't see where they're coming from. Some people also have a genuine phobia of falling. I hope I never have to work with the people who think this is why employers are reluctant to employ women. PG can be a bloody ballache, taxing on our bodies (even in first trimester) and mess with our sense of balance etc not to mention make us more likely to injure ourselves. I do second the shoe grip advice as they have made me a lot more confident, but even now I'm still on the verge of tears when it's really slippy.

BB01 Tue 22-Jan-13 10:25:20

And yes plenty of you have been out in the snow and been fine but plenty of people have been out in the snow and done major injury to themselves. Not saying we should never leave the house in case we fall etc but there's risk and there's mitigated risk and snow - yes even fresh snow - can be slippy and v hard to walk/drive in. And FWIW people die from snow related injuries in Sweden and Canada, too.

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