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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

cyclecamper Mon 14-Jan-13 20:56:49

Can I join? I'm 42, probably about 14-18 weeks ish and a bit nervous. Since my husband had a vasectomy 10 years before we met, I never paid attention to periods so I don't really know when my last one was. I only found out on Boxing day that it wasn't the menopause blush, which, lets face it, is rather more common in women my age than pregnancy despite vasectomy! I'm waiting for a scan and trying to balance worry about money with excitement about the baby.

scarecrow22 Mon 14-Jan-13 21:07:23

Just popping in for one of Eagle's muffins and to give her a hug. I totally promise you I was so unsure I was cut out to be a mum I refused to try for many years - then DD was born - despite failed induction and bad C sect and everything I felt totally right about being a mum. I did loads of stuff "wrong" by books but it was done with love and attention to DD and she is the greatest joy of my life in every second. So don't analyse too much (I am a pot calling kettles etc...) - focus on the good stuff and come and berate me when the bad sh1t happens ;))

Cyclecamper - what a magical love child you will have! Congratulations and great to have you on the thread. Especially as your name combines two of our favourite things!

eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 23:54:16

Thanks for the hug and kind words Scarecrow - I feel like I am waiting for a flight but have no idea what day I am going and where! But bags have to be packed nevertheless... Meanwhile, please have another muffin as there are 10 left and there's a risk I will eat them all

Congratulations and welcome Cyclecamper! What an amazing story but I can imagine how shocked you must have been... Like Scarecrow, I spotted my fave hobbies in your name, although feel a bit sad that I didn't manage to go camping during pregnancy, and it's a bit late now! I hope your scan goes well - sounds like you have missed out on all the stress of those tedious/worrying first few weeks.

Damash12 Tue 15-Jan-13 01:37:50

Aaah congratulations op. 41 and ELCS booked for Thursday!!! Wow what a shock but blimey talk about "what is meant for you will not pass you by"
I hope all goes well and don't forget 40's is the new 30's . My midwife says it's now the norm for babies to mums of our young age! X

knickyknocks Tue 15-Jan-13 07:32:56

eagle those last two weeks just drag......and as for being hormonal you're allowed to be! You've just done this amazing thing for the past 9 months amd your body is preparing itself for the next stage. Men will never get it - it truly is a miraculous event (and BTW think you'll be a brilliant mum...) Now pass one of those muffins across because they sound delicious!
cyclecamper lovely to see a new name on our shiny new thread. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Tell us a little more, is this your first? Have you had any MS?
scarecrow you always have such a lovely way with words. You're so right when it comes to parenting. It's a huge upheaval and much of the time you think you're doing it wrong - but then how can you be when you're doing it full of love and best intentions? I look back at the newborn days and am semi-dreading to return, but know again I'll do my best and that's all you can do. The new one will have love, cuddles and comforts whenever he needs.

As for me, waiting for 8am when the GP surgery opens. I think I've got sinusitis and definitely need antibiotics. DD spent until 10pm coughing last night. Really crossing fingers she'll be better today but am going to get her checked out too. DH isn't well either and will be around to midday to help then he's off to work. Have just text someone to see if they can help me with DD tmrw, but am hoping to feel much better if I can just get some antibiotics today. Oh the joys.....as for my work suspect I won't be back for the rest of the week - and thank god DH will be here all weekend coming up. I'll let you know what the GP says - first challenge of the day - get an appointment!

cyclecamper Tue 15-Jan-13 08:08:40

Knicky Hope the Dr sorts you out.

This is my first. I have a 21 year old stepson and a 16 year old stepson (who has asbergers), both of whom live with us, along with the elder one's gf. The 21 year old is going to be doing his uni finals when the baby arrives. The 16 year old is panicking that he's going to have to be a good example. smile

cyclecamper Tue 15-Jan-13 08:25:40

Fortunately, no ms at all. I did get so tired that I thought I had ME or worse though. I might have diagnosed the pg a bit earlier if I'd been sick!

knickyknocks Tue 15-Jan-13 08:34:20

cycle you've been lucky to have missed the MS but appreciate that a little MS may have given you a heads up that something else was going on grin. How lovely with little one being your first. Lots of experienced and non-experienced mums on this thread so you're in good company.

scarecrow the dizziness....I've been thinking could it be low blood pressure related? I only suggest that because I had terrible bouts of dizziness with DD. Mostly on waking and would slowly get better during the day. The only thing that helped was drinking lots more including those fizzy isotope sports drinks and eating more salty food. I remember the midwife saying that low blood pressure was good during pregnancy but I think I thought it can't be good if it makes me want to faint all the time hmm

Got the elusive GP appointment albeit with the nurse practitioner. DD,DH and I are all going at 10.30 to get checked out. DD is still asleep! She must be shattered! Bit embarrassing though, the receptionist commented that I sounded dreadful which promptly made me burst into tears! Sympathy gets me every time when I feel awful.....

knickyknocks Tue 15-Jan-13 08:34:21

cycle you've been lucky to have missed the MS but appreciate that a little MS may have given you a heads up that something else was going on grin. How lovely with little one being your first. Lots of experienced and non-experienced mums on this thread so you're in good company.

scarecrow the dizziness....I've been thinking could it be low blood pressure related? I only suggest that because I had terrible bouts of dizziness with DD. Mostly on waking and would slowly get better during the day. The only thing that helped was drinking lots more including those fizzy isotope sports drinks and eating more salty food. I remember the midwife saying that low blood pressure was good during pregnancy but I think I thought it can't be good if it makes me want to faint all the time hmm

Got the elusive GP appointment albeit with the nurse practitioner. DD,DH and I are all going at 10.30 to get checked out. DD is still asleep! She must be shattered! Bit embarrassing though, the receptionist commented that I sounded dreadful which promptly made me burst into tears! Sympathy gets me every time when I feel awful.....

CareerGirl01 Tue 15-Jan-13 09:02:31

Thought I'd join in, seen the 40 mum to be thread before but it looked too long to join in. Am 42 and 23 weeks pregnant with no 2. Got a four year old DD. This time round I've had horrible morning sickness and struggled to put on weight, but am now on meds and doing nicely. Actually really like my body this time round - finally. Must admit I don't actually feel old at all cyclecamper I don't know many women who've started the m/p at 42!!! That's very early - a few of of my 42/43 year old friends are still having children - and I was told the other day I looked 28. So here's to motherhood in my 40s!!!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 15-Jan-13 09:57:45

Ooh lovely to see the new names - welcome!

Knicky feel your pain we are all still ill/ bandaged here. Dp now gone down with it too.

Eagle I feel your tears it's completely cosmic

Scarecrow more fab advice

Will have a muffin please

Hugs to all xxxx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 15-Jan-13 09:58:34

Still too out of it to post properly but am lurking xxx

scarecrow22 Tue 15-Jan-13 10:32:40

CareerGirl too! Welcome. Worth starting a new thread to encourage some new faces. Only rule is nobody who's more than 26 wk pg can join wink or Somewhere and I will never get above half way up the list (will post new one later unless sb else does) ...let alone actually have a baby!

Knicky so hope you all get good treatment. Big sympathy waves to you and family Somewhere. Really feel for you being so poorly and not being able to curl up and be looked after. I will hang out in the lounge after work and administer hot drinks, sympathy and tempting nibbles smile

Seen GP today and not blood pressure - though you have excellent instinct Knicky as usually have v low bp. Also not ears or whatever else she checked. Having blood test in couple of hours to rule out anaemia. My instinct is pg /lo fine, but just thought better to rule things out systematically. Plus I get to hang out in Costa with hot buttered toast & marmalade and "work"!! Talking of which, had better get back to it....

Take care all x

eagleray Tue 15-Jan-13 11:56:50

Good morning all!

I have dug out the links for all the previous threads related to this one - thought it would be useful as we tend to fill up the threads quickly and there are some great bits of information on them (you could do a word search on virtually any pregnancy-related condition and will see that one or other of us has had it at some point!)

Just to confuse things, although we are now on part 3, there were actually 3 threads before that - I have included the date periods as well so that you can see which thread covers which period.

On top of that, there is the Grads thread, over in the Parenting section. Most of the posts seem to be made in the middle of the night and hot topics are feeding, nappies, sleeping, not sleeping and Ewan the Sheep.

Thread 1 6/3/12 - 8/6/12
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1422018-40-mums-to-be

Thread 2 8/6/12 - 8/10/12
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1490739-Fantastic-40-Mums-To-Be

Thread 3 8/10/12 - 14/1/13
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1582544-Fantastic-40-Mum-to-be-part-2

Thread 4 14/1/13 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1659559-Fantastic-fabulous-40-Mums-to-be-Part-3

Grads Thread 10/10/12 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1584834-Fantastic-40-Mums

eagleray Tue 15-Jan-13 12:16:10

Welcome and congratulations Careergirl - sorry to hear about the horrendous morning sickness. I got off quite lightly with that one, but other ladies here have suffered terribly.

Knicky - I hope all went well at the surgery - I find too that kind words/sympathy normally make me come over all emotional (nearly had tears at the checkout the other day when the assistant did a sympathetic face)

Scarecrow - hope you get your blood test results soon - Hb levels is a good one to get ruled out. I was borderline low a couple of months ago and started taking Spatone, only for the levels to divebomb over the following few weeks (although strangely my only real symptom was elevated pulse). I have been on an aggressive plan of attack since then with Ferrous Sulphate 3x per day and seen a pretty impressive rise in that time. Meanwhile, enjoy your Costa time smile

Somewhere - sorry for all your pain/illness <dispatches muffins immediately>

Cyclecamper - sounds like you have a busy household! I hope they all do their bit to accommodate the new arrival and look after you.

Plumber just been to look at leak in hallway - he's located rogue pipe and returning later in week to fix. Am just so glad it's not a catastrophic job involving dismantling the bathroom. It's a lovely sunny day here so am just going to concentrate now on enjoying the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, DP has finally started consulting his pregnancy book for men in order to understand what is going on, cue lots of questions from him now that he should bloody well have been asking several months ago It's just the same when we go on holiday - I plan everything and he nods vaguely then he starts researching the holiday when we are on the plane...

knickyknocks Tue 15-Jan-13 14:41:58

eagle thank goodness it's not just me with the emotions! A sympathetic face at the pharmacy today would have floored me today into a heap of tears.....Fab work BTW with fishing out the previous threads with dates. Oh and just to say your DP sounds like my DH. I do all the research on everything from holidays to new furniture. Seems to me my DH just seems to pitch up and give his final nod to OK things (though in fairness I don't think he's ever not gone with my suggestion). But had it not been for the NCT with our DD, he'd have NEVER had done any research into pregnancy or babies on his own. I bought him a pregnancy book for men but I'm fairly sure it's never been opened (except by me trying to persuade him to read it...)
careergirl another new name! Lovely stuff and congratulations. So sorry to hear about the MS, me and somewhere had a bit of a rough time with MS at the beginning of our pregnancies. Yours sounds as if it was horrendous though, so big sympathies.
scarecrow the GP could be onto something there with possible anaemia. In a way, I hope it turns out to be just that because it sounds fairly solveable by what eagle says.

AFM, well turns out I have sinusitis, DH has tonsillitis and DD is OK except getting over a nasty virus. Really is a sick house here. I've been given erythromycin which I'm almost tempted not to take as it always seems to give me a terrible tummy upset. I'm allergic to penicillin so choice of drug is limited. Another day at home for us all tmrw methinks.

Do they serve honey and lemon drinks in the coffee lounge?? <not too sick to still be eyeing up the double chocolate chip muffins> grin

BadMissM Tue 15-Jan-13 15:40:11

Hello Cyclecamper "waves" You sound surprised to be here! You've got even more of a gap than I have. DD is 14, and DH's kids are 18 and 16 (2nd relationship for both of us). I thought it was the menopuase rather than pg, as I'm 45!

scarecrow Eagleray I was so unsure about being a Mum...I thought I would leave DD on a bus or something...but it was fine when it actually happened! I was so stressed about 'doing everything properly', that I forgot to enjoy it....I think it's going to be quite different this time round.

Damash Ooh, that's exciting....So soon! 40 is the new 30? New 20! We're all so fiendishly cool, how could it not be smile

Ooh, knicky, look after yourselves...sinusitis is horrid. Sending virtual lemsips in your direction xxx

Hi Careergirl "Waves"... Most of DD's schoolfirends thought I was in my late 20s (they must all need glasses), but I was happy!

somewhere passes the muffins smile...sending love and lemsips!

scarecrow Not low bp? At least you get cake!

Eagleray Keep leaving the pg books around in front of DH...but is the same in our house....I organise and everyone else goes along...grrr!

knicky DD watches me, not the TV, because I cry about ANYTHING! Hope the antibiotics work...I know the problem, DD and I are allergic to lots of antibiotics...

My big news. Went to the FMC yesterday for the results of the Harmony Test. They were brilliant, less than 1 in 10,000 chance of any trisomy, and that was confirmed by the Nuchal Transluceny Test. They were really thorough, and spent aged on the scan. The baby was terriby wiggly, and spent most of the time showing the Dr its bum. Wouldn't even respond to my bf's Nanny voice!

So am extremely relieved, and tired, and happy!!!

cyclecamper Tue 15-Jan-13 17:09:20

Hello BadMissM "waves back" I'm not so much surprised as totally shocked! I knew when I met my husband that I was choosing not to have children of my own so I'm somewhat floored to find the situation changed! I never had any doubts about wanting children - I've been a nanny for 22 years and I've always wanted children of my own. Gaining an 11 and 16 year old when their father moved in with me wasn't quite the same grin.

I'm glad all your tests were satisfactory, that sounds like a big relief!

knicky that all sounds really nasty, hope you are all better very soon.

I'm off to an interview for a temp job now, so fingers crossed. It's only 3 days next week, but it'll help pay the rent this month!

eagleray Tue 15-Jan-13 17:33:05

Sorry Damash - not sure how I missed you before but wishing you all the very best for Thursday! Very exciting, and hope you are able to come back and tell us all about it as soon as you are able!

Great news BadMissM smile - takes me back to the day I got the full results of my amnio and could almost hear the stress rushing out of me. I have a friend who is newly-pregnant at 43 and been trying to pass on info regarding Harmony/FMC

Just home from my acupuncture session - baby very quiet in the hours before the appt, then as soon as the needles went in she got very busy (then got hiccups). When I was walking back to my car, I could barely walk due to the feeling of pressure very low down confused - no idea if it's related but was odd as felt absolutely fine beforehand!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 15-Jan-13 17:56:43

hello all

knicky sorry you're in a house of sickness at the moment - hope it gets better soon. Totally there with the emotions too - even adverts at the bus stop can get me going, let alone sympathy. A deluxe honey and lemon drink coming right up.

badmissm thanks that's just brilliant honey! So pleased for you! thanks smile smile wine - or maybe not wine. Cracking open the metaphorical champagne for you. Setting off a metaphorical firework in the elegant, if slightly wintery, outdoor space of the coffee lounge.

eagle superb work on the fabulous 40s archive. It makes it all seem really proper... reading that first thread is a like an origins prequel of a superhero franchise if you know what I mean - I never knew it was LRM what started it all! Then horseygirl dropped in and she was clearly just dabbling but then hey, it's Valium Queen! She only says one sentence but as we know she is a Major Player in the over 40s community. And LRM says 'my cobwebby old womb' - sorry but that had me in hysterics. it's like watching young Spock and Kirk in that Star Trek prequel. Legends in the making.

scarecrow hope your ailment improves. I think iron is a good candidate - and to be honest even if they test and they say it's ok, try some floradix or spatone it can't do any harm. You work so hard you are such a trooper - you and knicky seem to be in the same boat of not much sleep and working flat out - i raise a toast to your sheer stamina.

damash 40 is the new 30 - LOVE IT! it solves a lot!

cyclecamper first pregnancy is shocking - it's a complete rupture with everything one has known. I was pretty old when i first got PG and I had worried for years it would never happen and when it happened all I could think is 'I'm not ready! This is too soon!" Good luck with your interview.

river you were on here recently so going to wave

AFM I went to the midwife today - fundal height ok 28 cm at 28 weeks and the heartbeat good and variable.

I also went to the children's clinic with DS - at the weekend he got his hand trapped in an escalator. Actually can't bear to talk about it. DP was with him rather than me - I was lower down the escalator and DP was helping DS climb the escalator (he is a mad one for climbing anything that looks climbable) when he tripped and got his hand caught. All I can say is God bless the NHS, from the paramedics to the emergency staff to the hand surgeon to the dressings person to the hand physio. God bless them. Today his dressing were changed and there's no infection. Amazingly his prognosis is near as dammit 100% recovery - nobody will ever be able to say for sure it's 100% but nobody would be able to say it's not. It was his left hand. Anyway this is the kind of drama I can do without! I pray for a boring boring life from now on!

xxx

BadMissM Tue 15-Jan-13 21:30:53

somewhere OMG!!! That's must have been so scary. I have always been a bit paranoid about escalators since I saw someone get caught in an old one at Sloane Sq tube station years ago.... Thank the gods that the help was swift and effective. So glad your DS is progressing well and that the LO fine too xxx

I have one of those lives that other people find exciting... I wish there were less dramatic events! I too want a boring life....! Thanks for the fireworks!

cyclecamper I hardly rushed into motherhood, had DD when I was 31, but will be 46 by the time LO is born in July! The first time I did think, "Stop, I'm not ready, I want to go home now!' I think I'm maybe a little calmer this time round... This must be a total shock to the system!

Eagle I was so glad someone put me onto the FMC.... it has lifted an enormous weight off of my mind. Especially as my PCT don't offer the scan, I was so lucky I managed to go for it when I did! It's going to mean I can enjoy this pregnancy!

DD's birthday tomorrow, and party Saturday, so have to find some way of tidying tip of a house between doing everything else! One very excited teenage girl bouncing around!

scarecrow22 Tue 15-Jan-13 21:40:41

Good to start new thread with the stats list. As usual please rectify mistakes or <shout> at me blush and I will

I've updated the stats list ...

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz

PG
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock, 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray, 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike, 41, 31/1
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS at 39/40 (DD b 12/10)
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
CaliBee, 42, DC4 due Aug (1st DC for DP), with our hopes & support
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
Buzzbee, 40, DC2, due Sept?

Reminds me we have been missing some lovely ladies off thread, especially hope Riverside and Calibee doing okay in their different ways x

scarecrow22 Tue 15-Jan-13 22:25:57

Finally back from work. Family in bed sad But had an Innocent Veg Pot (Thai curry, yu-um). Sorry missed lounge but hope the friendly midwife I asked dropped in to administer hot toddies, sympathy and reassurance... Matthew MacFadyen/McConoghey I put off as figured many of us not feeling up to it wink

BadMiss so so thrilled for you, and what a wonderful birthday pressie for DD. Families Somewhere & Knicky get well soon. Eagle in still loving image of the eagle rays where you were on that "special" holiday, and feel any child begot in such natural waters is blessed. Sorry if I've missed news, need sleep before the 4am requests for "Twinkle, Twinkle" begin...
Night all

knickyknocks Wed 16-Jan-13 08:07:14

scarecrow thank you for posting the stats - can't do anything remotely useful whilst on this blackberry. Crikey, eagle and river are almost at the top - and I need to have a look back at the old thread - and it might be me losing my marbles but I sort of remember crazyforbaby posting she had her baby? I'll have a check......mmm different note - innocent Thai veg pot is yum. But quite righht suspect if Matthew Macthingymajig walked in to the lounge right now, I'd look at him wearily, from my pile of balsam tissues and hot toddies and ask him if he ouldn't mind popping back in a week or two grin
damash so sorry I haven't replied to your post before - ELCS all booked in for tomorrow? I hope things go smoothly and quickly - looking forward to hearing your news when you can update.
somewhere bloody hell!!! You poor love - and poor DS - how scary. Thank god he's ok. I work closely with the medical profession, and most days I think I just take a bit for granted what they do, but honestly I hear stories like yours and think thank god they are there. They truly do a wonderful job, and sound as if they've been marvellous with DS. He's all safe and sound now. I think that's quite enough adventures for a while though.
eagle I swear that baby of yours is on the brink of starting their journey towards the light grin. I've had both acupuncture and reflexology and have only good things to say about them. It might be just the prompt baby needs to be making a move southwards.....
badmissm wonderful news from the FMC! So pleased for you all! It means you can at last relax backa little in the knowledge that everything looks as wonderful as it possibly can. Who said that us 40 somethings are past it??? Well , they're bloody well wrong! grin

Waves to cycle, careergirl, river and anyone else I've missed off the list.

As for the sick bay over here, we're slowly getting better, no work or nursery for any of us today, but we all slept very well last night and that has definitely helped. Another couple of days and think we'll all be right as rain. Until then, still going with the paracetamol and hot alcohol-free toddies (a splash of brandy doesn't count does it?? wink)

knickyknocks Wed 16-Jan-13 08:11:26

PS scarecrow just noticed the time you posted and you saying you just got back from work? Sounds like a very long day, hope today is a far shorter day for you and bump XX

somewherebecomingrain Wed 16-Jan-13 09:29:20

Yes Knicky it was an excellent NHS experience - they were just doing their job but they were saving my sons future. We had a bit of luck too that the damage was not deep but he still had to have a two hour operation. When I was three I cut my forehead falling in a stone in the garden and I was perfectly prepared for ds to do similar but not this sad.

Glad u feeling better - such a relief.

Eagerlay's conception story is beautiful.

DAMASH sorry I'm distracted didn't realise it was today - have really enjoyed having someone to share the extreme pregnancy moans with - its nearly over and you will see your baby!

Ps scarecrow my sister And I are doing your box of presents idea for my mum for her next round of chemo - thanks so much for such a great idea . Plus agree u need some r&r v urgently. U sound shattered.

Hugs to all xx

jj247 Wed 16-Jan-13 12:12:54

Ooh, only just found this thread, can I join? <waves> to scarecrow and somewhere smile

41 and DC1 due 22/04 so currently 26+1

found this thread while browsing for info as latest thing to get paranoid about is: not putting on sufficient weight (although can't imagine why as I've been eating enough chococlate grin) and bean seems wriggly enough that definitely stuff going on in there. I've not been measured/weighed since 12 week scan, but at 24 week she listened to the heartbeat and said I had a "nice bump" so guessing things are all on track..? I am naturally paranoid that something is amiss, I just nudge from one concern to the next as pregnancy progresses... think this is because Istill can't believe I'm lucky enough to be PG (I'd been in being tested for early menopause 2 weeks before discovering I was pregnant!)

somewherebecomingrain Wed 16-Jan-13 12:22:31

hey jj247 please join - its lovely to have some new folk. your due date is good - you can join the very vocal march/april cohort that is on here.
26 weeks is a good place in terms of pregnancy paranoias i think - you're through the worst ones!
re not putting on enough weight there seems to be tonnes of natural variation. I am trying hard not to put on weight! putting on too much can be very disabling. if the midwives and the scans are ok then the weight isn't something to worry about - just count yourself lucky!

xxx

knickyknocks Wed 16-Jan-13 13:58:48

Hello and welcome to JJ247 - lovely to have you on the thread. Another April baby? It's going to get very busy in March/April grin. As for weight, I shouldn't worry - in my experience they don't start measuring bumps until the 28 week check with the midwife - and if the midwife has any concerns they will let you know, but it sounds as if you're doing fine. I'm with somewhere though, that I'm trying my best not to put on too much, but I haven't weighed myself in weeks and not looking forward to what the scales will say (that is if I can even SEE what the weight says over this enormous bump.......grin). Anyway welcome, and lovely to see another first timer - lots of experienced and non-experienced mums and mums to be on here so you're in good company.
somewhere a 2 hour op? Oh the whole thing sounds very traumatic. Really I think it's time you deserve a bit of TLC what with things with your mum (although I know she's doing OK, it's all been a dramatic few weeks). Maybe a well deserved pedicure at some point - may not be your thing, but just think you deserve a little bit of luxury.

Pleased to say that DD is better, and nursery looks almost certain for tomorrow - which means that I can at last have my bit of R and R. Not sure what to do about Friday yet and work - looks like much of the country is going to be swathed in the white stuff and I for one, do not wish to be stuck at work.....and London and it's rail and road systems don't seem to be able to cope at all. May just have to take Friday off after all......

blueblackdye Wed 16-Jan-13 14:43:08

Just a quick post to say I am thinking of all of you and reading your journeys through pg made me envious, but I have 2 DCs already, not ready for a 3rd !
BadMiss wonderful news, so so so glad for you.
Eagleray, it is imminent now, take care, you will be absolutely fine, I am keeping your sofa warm on the Grads thread, not sure you will still have some cake to bring over... smile
Hello to new joiners.

BadMissM Wed 16-Jan-13 14:53:01

Knicky Glad to hear you're all feeling a bit more human! If it's going to snow in London on Friday I'd give it a wide berth.... The whole place grinds to a standstill with 2 flakes...

Somewhere You were lucky they reacted so fast and the outcome was so good for your DS....I know you're never prepared for accidents, but some seem harder than others to deal with!

As for putting on weight...anything I can face eating seems to be doing that....and I'm still having to test for diabetes (ugh)

Damash Ooh, today...Thinking of you! xxx

Hello and waves to jj247 ...welcome!

Today is DD's birthday. She was leaping round the house like a dog with two tails this morning.... so have to make special dinner for her tonight...

I've got first consultant appointment tomorrow...goodness knows how that's going to go, followed by my Polish friend bringing her visiting parents, DH and 2 year old DS to dinner (the parents are really shy so it was to show them what another English house was like really...they don't speak any English so will be fun!)

At the weekend house will be invaded by hordes of squeaky 14 year old girls...for a moustache party. Somehow I have to find the time and energy to tidy up this tip of a house.....

cyclecamper Wed 16-Jan-13 15:45:09

I got my scan appointment in the post at 2.30pm today - for a scan at 2pm today! It was franked with yesterday's date so I think it must have spent some time wandering around a postroom or something. I phoned and they re-booked for tomorrow afternoon, so fingers crossed for then.

BadMissM That all sounds a bit frantic! I'm looking at the complete tip that is my house and thinking that burning it down and collecting the insurance may be the only solution!

knickyknocks Wed 16-Jan-13 16:20:25

badmissm I have to ask....a moustache party?? This may need further explanation! Do they all wear moustaches? Blimey things have moved on since our day - a sleepover at 14 for me would have been tizer, boy talk, listening to Swing Out Sister, then feeling daring having a sip or two of babycham. Not sure what I would have been watching in 1986 - was that the year of Top Gun?? Hope the dinner goes well for the Polish visitors - what are you going to make? Typical Brits fare?
cycle how frustrating!! But glad they've managed to get you a space for tomorrow.
Waves to bbd hope to see you on the grad thread March/April time!

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 16:22:25

Hi ladies....I've not been around for a while.
Sadly I have just been diagnosed with a mmc at 8+6.
I have a few days to think about how I want to manage it before Mondays appointment at EPAU...hopefully mother nature will take that decision out of my hands before then. Thanks for all your support xxx
Hopefully I will see you all here again before too long.

eagleray Wed 16-Jan-13 17:51:20

Calibee I am so, so sorry - that is such sad news. I am glad you found out now, rather than having to wait another few days, as I know each day not knowing would have been incredibly distressing and worrying.

Please look after yourself (and hope you have people around you who can support you) and really, really hope you are back on here very soon. Sending you big hugs and all my sympathy xxx

scarecrow22 Wed 16-Jan-13 21:02:24

CaliBee another Scarecrow hug from me: you sound so warm and balanced I hope you have the support around you you deserve and you can share the journey with your DP(DH?). We will all be thrilled when you come back to join us, here and on the grads thread. Take care.

Somewhere - I've been waiting to be alert enough to message properly about your DS's accident, but fear now. I am starting to look uncaring. I can't imagine how scary it must have been, and a two hour op sounds super serious, but so thankful for you it was quickly attended and the op was immediate, and that the prognosis is, if I understand correctly, v g too. I can empathise a little as slammed car boot shut a couple of weeks ago and then saw DD's hand was in it over the main knuckles, and she was looking up at me with bewildered surprise with her big brown eyes. For a moment all I could think was I'd crushed her hand and she'd be damaged forever. As it turned out some frozen peas and a Peppa Pig plaster were all we needed (the plaster was simply a distraction) and she was right as rain. She does now daily tell me the 'story' of "I doi. Hand in car. Mummy car. Hand doi." just in case I wasn't feeling guilty blush(doi is hurt). Please update on how DS progressing.
So glad you doing bag. Hope your mum enjoys!

Welcome j245 (hope I remembered that right) - we are due a day apart I think? Mine 22 April though will prob have during week before by ELCS. Fab to have more joiners. Hope the others have shown you around our chilled coffee lounge. Last night we had muffins...tonight I rather fancy a hot choc (or does the sexy waiter rustle up cheese omelettes for those of us who have had a glass of wine and an indecent amount of nuts for "supper"?? Was at work networking blah event.) Also don't worry about weight too much if bump growing: I have a neighbour well over 20 weeks and you can hardly see a bump even, but docs happy.

Now can't remember other news. Happy birthday LittleBadMiss ;)

scarecrow22 Wed 16-Jan-13 21:04:43

JJ247, sorry - was in the right ballpark! Great initials, if they are yours ;)

Kazmog Wed 16-Jan-13 21:35:37

Pls can I join! I am 41 with a DS1 who is almost 2. A bit panicky as I unfortunately had a stillborn son also so pregnancy is a bit of a concern for me. Have been ttc for a few months and really thought this month didn't work as timings etc were way off! Missed my period on Monday and did a test yesterday which was negative and today's was positive saying 1-2 weeks! I am really worried as I really thought I was not pregnant and went to parties last week and drank alcohol almost every night! I really hope that I haven't hurt the little one.

BadMissM Wed 16-Jan-13 23:23:05

Waves to Kazmog You're not the only one, had a stillbirth before DD, so am the world's most paranoid a bit cautious about the pregnancy...!

cyclecamper Would consider it if had managed to get house insurance since I moved......new house backs onto old one, yet insurance quotes are double....

Oh, Calibee, I am so sorry to hear that...sending love and hugs xxx I know whatever I say won't make much difference at the moment, but thinking of you xxx

Knicky Yes, they all wear moustaches.....why, I have no idea! DD is going as the 118 man, her bf as Sirius Black, and another firend as Papa Smurf.... With moustache games, cakes, etc....!

I know, my idea of fun at 14 (1981) was to listen to Toyah and Lene Lovich, (I'm older than you!) slather eight tons of eyeshadow and eyeliner on, then hang around with a bunch of other girls claiming to get tipsy on Pomagne....

The Polish visitors are having stew and dumplings, as my friend's Dad 'doesn't like funny foreign food'! Also, I have my first consultant appointment tomorrow, quite late, so I had to cook it today.

Tonight brought the news of one of my bf's marriages imploding, she has a 2 year old and a 10 week old baby in the mix.... Gosh, life's such fun.... It's all happening in small northern seaside towns....

knickyknocks Thu 17-Jan-13 11:31:23

calibee I'm so sorry to read your news. Such sad news. I hope too that mother nature steps forward and is able to help at this stage. Holding your hand and thinking of you. I really do hope that this year your dreams do come true. Much love.

kazmog a warm welcome to the thread. You've had a rough ride in getting here. I hope that your journey ahead is uneventful and as smooth as can be. Congratulations in the meantime on your BFP thanks.

badmissm Pomagne!!!! grin Oh how I remember that drink! I remember feeling soooo grown up drinking my babycham. I'm sure my mum and dad would have a bottle of pomagne at christmas time (and that other bloody awful stuff - advocaat......eeurrghh!!) As for the make up reminiscing - I was very much a sugar pink lipstick and electric blue mascara/eyeliner combo. A bit of sugar pink blush aswell (being careful not to drop any of the powder blush on my snood grin). On a completely different note, sorry to hear about your BF. That must be so rough for your friend with a 10 week old baby - I hope she has all the family and friend support she must need right now.

DD back in nursery today giving me and DH a break. Have done some work this morning, and now intending on lying comatose on the sofa until we collect her later, as I'm well aware it's the only opportunity I will have to do this for the foreseeable future. We're starting to feel slowly better and are easing back on the number of boxes of balsam laced tissues required.....

eminoxford Thu 17-Jan-13 15:32:31

Can I join? Only 'just' 40 last month, and found out we were expecting our second on the 6th January. V. excited but oh lordy the wait until the first scan is excruciating, I'd forgotten. No MS yet (didn't have it last time either), so apart from being perma-tired and moody (no change there, as DH says), I don't 'feel' v PG!

blueblackdye Thu 17-Jan-13 19:40:14

Calibee, don't give up, take care, thinking of you.
Knicky, looking forward to welcoming you in March/April.
And every one else in due course !
Eagleray, we will have a special drink tomorrow at the meet up ! Good luck, hope all goes smoothly for you and baby Eagle

FoofFighter Thu 17-Jan-13 19:45:04

Hello all, been waiting for a new thread to happen so I could join you all smile

Am not quite 40 but very close (!) and 10 weeks pregnant with dc3 for me dc1 for my partner.

Dc1 is getting married next week and they have a 6 month old daughter, dc2 is in the Household Cavalry.

Been very tired and cannot manage a day without a cheeky nap somewhere along the way!

eagleray Thu 17-Jan-13 20:34:41

Good evening and welcome to FoofFighter, Eminoxford, Kazmog and jj247 - amazed at the high intake this new thread has had (I feel a little bit like we are recruiting for a cult!) and a bit sad that the size of the last thread might have stopped people from joining. It is lovely that there are so many of us in the same boat, and I'm sure this thread will soon be very fat with supportive messages, useful information, cakes and a lounge full of lust objects....

I have been living in interesting (although thankfully not too dramatic) times these last few days. Got in a right old state yesterday morning trying to beg the council to grit our street (a steep narrow hill notorious for ice/snow problems) and then went off to my MW appt. Had a successful S&W no. 3 but BP, HR and fetal HR all raised and wouldn't come down after 'resting' in the waiting room (full of screaming kids) so off to hospital I was sent. I packed my bags just in case and took some lunch too and ended up having a fairly nice and peaceful 30 mins hooked up to a monitor stuffing my face and having a chat with the lovely MW (and she made me a massive mug of tea). Only dramatic moment was when I lost my carrot cake down the side of the trolley but luckily it was rescued by MW. After 30 mins, baby HR found to be normal and my BP had dropped loads so was sent home.

Feeling quite achey down below today but otherwise ok. Really hoping that baby and snow don't conspire to appear together tonight as DP still away and is at risk of being caught up in snow. Got more BP checks and a sweep on Saturday if nothing has happened before then.

BBD - hope you all have a lovely meet-up tomorrow and please toast my due date!

Knicky - glad you are all feeling a bit better now and hope you got your peaceful time on the sofa this afternoon

BadmissM - I hope the consultant appt went ok today, and that your guests are enjoying the stew and dumplings!

Scarecrow - bless your little DD! If it makes you feel any better, I had some terrible accidents when I was very small - cot collapsed on me, accidentally had my hand ironed, fell headfirst down a flight of metal steps on a ship at sea, cat badly shredded my face, and all before I was even school age!

Cyclecamper - you must have had your scan by now - what did they say? I hope they have been able to give you some clear ideas of dates? So annoying the first letter didn't reach you in time - have had a couple of those myself from the hospital!

Somewhere - re the weight thing: I started this pregnancy with a BMI of 30 and was very, very anxious at first regarding my weight, then somewhere along the way I stopped giving a shiny sh*t about it as have had good health and no one has made an issue of the BMI since my booking appt. Then I saw on my notes yesterday that my BP had been taken with a large cuff due to BMI >30 blush and my arms aren't even that bloody big!!! I can still run up the stairs and so take that as a measure of my good health rather than my weight. Sounds like you have a very sensible attitude towards it all, but hope you are getting the chance to enjoy eating after all that awful MS.

The 2 hour op your DS had sounds very gruelling - hurrah for the NHS though!

Baked 2 banana loaves today - my excuse was that the 4 manky bananas on the kitchen table were begging to be saved and converted to cake. Was thinking about leaving one on the ward when I go for my appt on sat (once I have tested the first loaf thoroughly for quality...)

MrsWooster Thu 17-Jan-13 20:53:08

Welcome to all the newbies. Another vote here for don't faff about weight; I was over 30 bmi and no-one was fussed and have now lost over a stone with the g. Diabetes and no-one's fussed about that either!

lotsofcheese Thu 17-Jan-13 21:06:11

Just a wee hello from me! Don't get a chance to post here often, but do enjoy read all your updates.

Am currently 23 weeks & feeling huge tonight! Starting my regular growth & BP readings scans next week - hoping I'm not early again but trying not to stress about it.

For the master list: I'm 40 (not for much longer though!) & due a baby girl in May. Have DS who is 4 & only wants a brother!!!.

Sorry I don't have time to name-check everyone or welcome the new ladies individually.

Looking forward to hearing how everyone is doing.

scarecrow22 Thu 17-Jan-13 21:11:05

Flip they are coming thick 'n' fast smile Big welcome to Kaz, EminOxford and Fooffighter. 40 by birth is def allowed. As Eagle says glad we have new thread as sad to think people were put off... I joined 1st thread (or 2nd technically) near end, so was in similar boat.

Am so emotional tonight - intense day, but on way home at last - I nearly cried at Knicky's post and then nearly cried with laughter at Eagle. DH off on a jolly field trip to S Africa tomorrow so single working parent for two weeks. Yikes! Not worried about parenting, just nobody to make tea or give me ten mins peace or a lie in...I will have to come to lounge for some wink

Talking of which, the long awaited Malteaser Traybake recipe...

MALTESER TRAY BAKE

• 100g butter
• 200g milk chocolate
• 3 tbsp golden syrup
• 225g finely crushed digestive biscuits
• 225g Maltesers

Method
1. Melt together the butter, chocolate and syrup, then add the crushed biscuits and the Maltesers.
2. Mix together quickly then pour into a lined Swiss roll tin and chill until set.
3. For a special occasion drizzle with some melted white chocolate.

Note, no baking involved... Also I've never made it, so don't blame me. Trying to imagine a scenario in which the Malteasers survive being eaten long enough to make it into a tray. Is this scientifically possible? Has it ever been proved?

I'm horribly giddy again this eve. Pales next to some of your recent illnesses, but makes me frustrated and a bit insecure because feel like I'm going to lose consciousness at any minute. Will ring for anaemia test results in case ready tomorrow. Any other ideas?

Eagle, take good care. So excited for you - I had DD in middle of that freezing snow for 10 days in Dec 2010 so sympathise. Hope you've got a good snow suit to hand to wrap up LO. Can't wait for news. Talking of news, any from Cycle's scan or Damash's induction. About time we all produced an actual baby...

<wanders across from the grad thread>
Hello everyone, just delurking after following you all across from the last thread! I used to post on one of the old ones as Brizzmus, but have a shiny new name (well, not that new now). I'm afraid I went AWOL a bit when my DS was born 9 weeks early - it took about four months for my brain to catch up with events! He is now 6 months old and doing brilliantly.
I was 42 when he was born (should have been 43) and here are some of the things that I have learned as part of the steepest learning curve of my life:
1. Ewan the sheep is a god
2. Forget the words of Incey Wincey Spider at your peril
3. Bliss is a cup of coffee that has even the remnants of heat in it
4. Chocolate is the only foodstuff that will do in the middle of the night
5. And the latest, you need adult bibs as well as baby bibs for weaning hmm

Hope you are all enjoying sleep... smile

eagleray Thu 17-Jan-13 21:33:36

Hello Goat - lovely of you to visit and I remember you as Brizzmus now! (I have a strange talent for remembering every single poster on MN, but forget my notes at every single MW appt). It's great that BabyGoat is doing so well now after his rather early start.

Scarecrow - thanks for the traybake recipe! I will do this one next week if I don't have anything else happening. I do have a sad Malteser story though - last week, DP mysteriously offered me his post-curry complimentary chocolate (most odd) then I realised he looked v guilty. He then confessed to STEALING the remaining maltesers I got for christmas! I was livid angry

Sorry you are so giddy - can you get back to the docs quickly if the results tomorrow aren't the cause? I am normally bombarded with phone calls when I have bad blood test results but it would be a good idea to chase them up anyway. I can't think of anything else that could cause it, but hope you get some answers soon.

Cheese - great to hear from you - was just wondering today how you were getting on. Fingers crossed you have a good few more months yet, and hope DS realises the merits of sisters when his appears smile

MrsW - that's incredible weight loss! Do you feel healthier for having a GD diet? I can remember you were very understandably daunted when you started on it a few months ago - I hope it's not been too hideous.

Had some funny pains since last posting, but they seem to be settling down again now. Am in strange position of wishing baby was on her way (in order to avoid pressure of induction) and also thinking 'please not now' due to snow and DP's absence!

cyclecamper Thu 17-Jan-13 23:05:22

eagleray I had the scan - it's definitely a baby! It's reckoned at 19 weeks tomorrow so due mid June. Hopefully the midwife will confirm that when I finally get an appointment to see them! My Husband was held up at work and I went in early, so he nearly missed it all shock, but she very kindly let me go back in so that she could show him, so top marks to her for that smile. I noticed it moving for the first time yesterday, and this evening I think it's getting it's own back for being pushed around during the scan grin.

knickyknocks Fri 18-Jan-13 07:33:08

goat brilliant wise words! Ewan the sheep? Going to have to find out what that is! Ah....the joy of a cold cup of coffee....yes, I have a feeling this is all going to come back to me in 8 weeks time....grin
eagle how you doing my love? Keep an eye on those achey pains down below, seem to recall that these gradually became contraction type pains. Crossing my fingers though it doesn't coincide with absent partner and snow...
scarecrow that recipe has every ingredient that I love - agree though the chances of it being a malteser traybake round here are slim - no pack of maltesers are safe in this house...suspect It'd be just a traybake with a hint of a malteser grin. How's the dizziness today? Any news on results? Just bloody horrible being dizzy. I get terrible dizziness through lack of sleep so understand how debilitating it is.
Hello to 2 more new joiners! foofighter, eminoxford. Sorry to hear you're both at the tiredness stage - I easily found the first trimester the hardest, felt sick, was sick and just wanted to crawl into bed all the time. Mine definitely eased by 14 weeks, then lifted completed a couple of weeks after that.
cycle lovely to hear the scan went well - and lovely yo hear they went through things again for your DP.

Hello to everyone else somewhere (how's DS doing? You OK too?), lotsofcheese, MrsW, Damash (any news please when you can!), badmissm

On snow watch here, nothing so far <twitches curtains to check> but we're in Surrey and the forecast promises only a matter of time. Only got the whooping cough jab today and not intending on going very far. We're all much better, not 100% yet but nearly. The joys of young children bringing all sorts of nasty bugs home from nursery. Hope wherever you are that the snow doesn't make life diFficult. Stay safe please - I'm tempted to get an old tray greased up so I can have a play on the slight slope outside but the chance of (a) my arse fitting on the tray and (b) me ever being able to stand up again without my knees cracking or having to ask my 3 year old to help me back up - are somewhat limited, I may leave that to the lithe non-pregnant young ones grin

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 08:05:20

knicky Glad you are all feeling better. I'm also in Surrey, peering hopefully out of the window!

We went public yesterday. Lots of comments along the lines of 'what are you like' & 'how didn't you know?' grin. I don't think that it's that surprising given the failure rate of vasectomy is about 1/2000 & it's almost unheard of after the first 6 months - it's really not very likely! I don't think it's helped my reputation of being a bit vague!

eagleray Fri 18-Jan-13 08:14:12

Cyclecamper - great news re the scan, but blimey that is some amount of baby! Lovely that you can feel movement now too - I felt movement from very early on, but easier to do if you actually know there's a baby in there smile Very pleased for you - you are halfway there already!

Frankly, I'm a bit fooked due to weather. It's a blizzard outside and my street is utterly undriveable (steep hill which is notorious for snow and ice). DP about 100 miles away and going into meltdown as he didn't think the snow would cause problems (it hasn't really started at his end, but think that's about to change). Just told him to forget work and try and make his way home (his best bet is that he can get most of the way to the house and walk the rest!)

No twinges this morning, so hope to get my snowboots on later and try and at least enjoy this weather!

Loving the arse on tray scenario Knicky - am dead jealous of the people who can use sledges today smile

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 09:44:51

It's definitely coming down here now smile. The commuters who use our street as a car park (near a station, no restrictions and we don't have a car so there is always space) have all obviously taken the day off - it's really quiet. It looks lovely, I wish I could muster the energy to walk into town.

sparklysapphire Fri 18-Jan-13 11:25:38

Hello ladies, may I join you? I'm 44, 8 weeks pregnant, but a bit surprised as I didn't really think I'd get pregnant at my age. DH has taken it really badly, even though he knew we hadn't used contraception for 9 months, so things are tricky at the moment, but obviously it's very early days. I have very few symptoms, apart from sore boobs, so I'm not very confident about the pregnancy progressing. Our DD is 4, so really hoping she will get a sibling.

Waves to knicky, somewhere and cheese, I hope you're all recovered in the knicky house, and somewhere that your DS's hand is healing, sounds terrifying.

knickyknocks Fri 18-Jan-13 13:34:19

Hi sparkly lovely to see you joining us on this thread, so sorry to hear about hubby though. That must be really tough. Hopefully the 12 week scan may help? I think men have a far easier time in life - it's all very well that he's taking it badly but it's directly affecting you at the moment - your hormones and your body. I really do hope he turns any negativity to positive support soon thanks

Surrey has snow, I can see kids in the street and all looks rather magical. DD is very excited about going out with DH later to make a snowman (I am too if only that I get the TV and sofa to myself for an hour or so).

Had my whooping cough jab this morning and it was fine. Another task ticked off the pregnancy list.

I'm off to the thread's coffee lounge for a large hot chocolate with whipped cream and a large flake. Hoping for a young Sean Connery in a tux to serve me grin.

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:37:37

Sparkly too, hello <waves enthusiastically>. Hope the new ladies have some tasty baking recipes lined up for later in the lounge, when you've settled down wink

Snow been falling more and more, solidly since 8am (SW London) - beautiful. DD was but scared for minute or so, then loved it. But took half hour to walk first 50 or so yards from our house. Then nearly hour to walk 5 mins distance on way home. Delightful how enchanted she was grin Hope though near births are safe and able to move. Eagle, can you ring council and ask them to grit? Or get a neighbour to move your car to a gritted road??

CycleCamper, fantastic news. And lucky you to miss most of the long wait and worry of early weeks! Hope you and DP are enjoying the adventure.

Enjoy the snow. See you later in the lounge for large hot chocs all around, maybe with a dash of something, er, warming?!

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:44:30

Oh, sparkly, v much sympathise re DH. Mine freaked for whole first pregnancy, desire us having been trying. He was out drinking all night with female friends some nights, sometimes til 6am :-S, refused to ever discuss plans or kit or names, tried to avoid any appointment except 2 scans... Even in hospital during induction he spent a lot of time on his computer doing emails (trying to pretend it wasn't happening!). From moment DD born he was besotted and has been a wonderful, hands-on, engaged daddy ever since. It's hard, I know I felt v alone sometimes, but keep reassuring him you till love and need him (many men feel v threatened they'll be pushed away), that it's joyful to you because it's his baby, and so on.

In the meantime step into the lounge with me and Knicky for that hot choc with whipped cream. I'll bring ginger nuts x

eagleray Fri 18-Jan-13 14:20:04

Welcome Sparkly - sorry you are having negativity from DH. Been there myself (DP nearly vomiting with horror for first few months) but today is my due date and he's totally ok about it now. Difficult to see what the cause of your DH's bad reaction is (men can be funny things), but hope he gradually comes round.

Am in slightly better position re snow now. DP finally got here at lunchtime (although roads really bad and he was lucky not to have an accident) and we have left his car near the main road so that we have transport if needed. Had a massive battle with the council to get my street gritted and they said no, so now everyone pretty much stuck as snow quite deep outside (snow plough got stuck too earlier!)

Just enjoying peaceful time with tea and cake on the sofa now, and DP has just nodded off so I will sneak off to the lounge and bring my cakes with me smile

Damash12 Fri 18-Jan-13 15:47:46

Hi my little man has arrived!!! Tate John Lloyd 7.13lb.Oh wow he's fab, can't stop looking at him. Thanks to everyone I've had a chat with over the last 9 months and helped me with all sorts of anxieties. The pain was worth it!! Good luck everyone xxx

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 16:35:24

sparkly foofighter eminoxford Hello and waves!!!

Damash Congratulations!!!! wine thanks

We have no snow. Feel very cheated on snow front....! smile.

knicky I don't think we possess a tray big enough for my arse....

I went to see supposedly specialist consultant yesterday. GRRRRRRRARGH.
When I told her I couldn't sleep because of neuro pain, she asked me why paracetamol didn't help. I was on heavy-duty painkillers til my BFP and THEY didn't work. Explained am having lots of joint pain, and perpetual upset stomach (for weeks). I wanted to see the pregnancy physio and make sure wasn't SPD.

Her response- to refer me to the mental health midwife, and do nothing. Because I was depressed a while ago. Is not that which is keeping me awake, but pain.

Asked her about elective CS, and she said that they 'didn't like to plan them'. Ummmm surely that is the point of an elective CS? She said it was 'in case I was prior to term...if you start giving birth, we just let you carry on' . So, they don't like to plan CSs as they cost money, and me nearly killing myself is cheaper?

She also told me I was paranoid. I've been pregnant six times and have had one live birth, and I'm 45. I struggled for DD- haemorraging half the blood in my body, then they thought my heart was giving out. I'm now 14 years older, and the neuro problems mean I seriously doubt I'll be able to push the same way....

So, won't talk about the birth, and she thinks I'm mental. This is the 'good' consultant, apparently....

I want to move somewhere civilised.....! Grrrrrrr. Rant over. I just can't believe I have to give birth at that hospital...they just don't care.

FoofFighter Fri 18-Jan-13 18:06:38

Congratulations Damash, what a gorgeous name writes Tate on list thanks

Thank you all for the welcomes, been for flu jab this afternoon so sporting a sore arm now, to go along with the sore boobs, something else to bang in the night then!

Stay safe in the snow/ice won't you all, nothing here yet though and long may it stay that way please!

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 18:35:41

Still no snow here!!!

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 19:49:19

That sounds really rubbish BadMissM. It all sounds like a fob-off. I hope someone listens to you soon.

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 20:05:15

cyclecamper Just a bit sick of being fobbed off left, right, and centre. Midwife not really bothered, so was hoping the consultant might listen...

blueblackdye Fri 18-Jan-13 20:07:24

BadMiss, Agree with CyclCamper, are you surethere is no hidden camera and nobody is going to jump out of nowhere sreaming "you've been framed"? Hame myMum lives far from the Franco Britanique hospital otherwise I would askher to accomodate you.
Damash, congrats, enjoy your little boy !
Eagle, you must feel so relieved now that DP is with you, talk to baby and say because it is cold and snowing outside, it should stay put inside and wait for a few days....
Welcome foofFighter, sparky, eminoxford. Hope I have not forgotten anyone

cyclecamper Fri 18-Jan-13 20:11:06

BadMissM Maybe keep complaining to GP? You have the right to send a written complaint and they have to answer it. If you have the energy, keep making a fuss and hopefully they'll get the message in the end.

cyclecamper yours is an amazing story!
Damash congratulations! Don't forget to come visit us on the grad thread...
badmissm I absolutely agree that you should complain.

You seem to have lots of yummy things on this thread! As I am trying to lose pregnancy weight, I LOVE thread food - it's calorie free! Pass the biscuits, someone!

BadMissM Fri 18-Jan-13 20:20:31

cyclecamper I would, but last time I complained about anything, they refused to give me appointments.... There is just so little choice around here...

bbd I do feel like I must have the kind of face people don't take seriously, or listen to. My bf had same consultant and she was brilliant with her. All of my friends who lived in Paris have moved away, or I would consider it!

eagle My DD turned up during the worst snow Paris had had for about 40 years!

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:35:56

Eagle, because DD is such a happy little soul I think snow babies are magical special babies smilesmilesmileYours will be too and you will never forget LO was born into a magical wonderland of a world and you can both spend the first days cosy together with DP, as it will be for years... Though I increasingly feel motherhood is a lifetime agony of letting go, from the moment they leave your womb. I want to admit that sometimes I want to put DD back in again and start over, but that makes me sound too weird ;)

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:39:39

On a less soppy note (forgive me am all tearful that DH just left for two weeks hmm)... Damash's wonderful news and cute (cool, ahem!) name reminds me to ask... Anybody else finding it hard to find names that have not already been snaffled by family/BFs/snotty kids down the road that have put you off/etc?! Too hard!

Huge happy wonderful congratulations, Damash. Come back and let us know how you get on x

blueblackdye Fri 18-Jan-13 21:15:30

Well Scarecrow, I wanted DCs to have names that would remind them of their origins and easy to pronounce in different languages. Asked in laws and they came up with French names although they are French by adoption only. Asked my Mum and she gave me a list of names that my Dad suggested 28 years ago when their first grand child was born, in the meantime, another 20 grand children joined the clan... shock in the end we had to find the names by ourselves, 2 with Russian/Eastern Europe origin and 2 from South East Asia as their middle names. But 2 nephews born with only one week gap from 2 of my brothers have the same name. Good luck !

sparklysapphire Fri 18-Jan-13 22:28:20

Congratulations Damash. Eagleray, due date in all this snow - hopefully it won't cause you any problems, good luck, and your baby will decide to do the sensible thing and stay put until the weather improves. Glad your DH came round in the end.

MissM, it sounds like the consultant wasn't really listening to you and just wanted to tick some boxes. I hope you manage to get to see the specialists you need to. Can you change hospitals?

scarecrow, yep my DH completely freaked out for my entire pregnancy with DD too, sounds very much like yours, except without the all night drinking, he just didn't want to know, to the extent I wasn't sure he'd stay when she was born. He took to her straight away, is a great dad, and she thinks the world of him. I thought this time it'd be different, but so far not.

Thank you for the welcome everyone, I hope to be here for the duration, but nature may have other ideas.

scarecrow22 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:47:36

Sparkly, I forgot that DH also said for whole pregnancy he didn't want to be at birth. I (am not sure how) remained v calm and said I was happy to have a birth doula. I did some research but sneakingly thought he'd change his mind... A few weeks before I said we needed to make a final decision and book up somebody, and sure enough he said GE thought he might stay with me. Good thing I know that dero down he's so much nicer than he makes out ;)

somewherebecomingrain Sat 19-Jan-13 09:54:01

So much to say so little patience with my phone

Knicky glad your better one at a time
Is bad enough all three is a genuine nightmare

Sparkly - so lovely! Think your do has mixed feelings but is no against - ie little smiley baby will 'turn' him totally

Scarecrow - I loved your story about your daughter I mean it was awful but it captured the innocence and purity they have at that age. it was well told!

Badmissm you've had a stillbirth and they won't give you an ELCS? That sounds both horrendously wrong and like a breach of guidelines - go to health watch the new consumer NHS body. The hq is in London.

Newbies can't keep track of u all but so lovely your here!

Eagle I had a jan baby amidst the snow. There
Will be a way round the snow though damned if i can remembet what it was! Taking him out of the hosp into the whistling winds and then to the frozen car was
Really hard. But we have pics of him days after his birth next to icicles (outside the window) and it was all quite magical.

Anyway it's today no?

Hugs to
All

Xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 19-Jan-13 10:17:18

Omg DAMASH fellow pregnancy suffere! Such beautiful
News and a beacon of hope to me! Perfect
Weight lovely name. Tell us more about the experience And John Tate when you can

Xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 19-Jan-13 12:26:55

Ps badmiss I don't mean go there - just call them. Xx

BadMissM Sat 19-Jan-13 14:39:19

Scarecrow My snow-baby DD is also a happy soul...

As for names...when you have discounted the nice ones taken by people you like, the ones that remind you of awful dysfunctional children or adults you know, the frankly stupid, the sounds like someone's grandma, the amazingly chavvy...it doesn't leave many. If it's a boy, I'm stuffed! I can think of lots of girls names, but not boys!

bbd I have a default French setting too, but have to remember this DH not a bit French

Sparkly Not really feasible to change hospitals. In our trust MLU I'm not allowed to use, and hospital worse than one I'm in....next lot of hospitals 70+miles away...

somewhere I've had various awful complications, an ectopic...but the stillbirth and my DD's terrible birth were in France...they sound like they don't believe me. I offered to bring in my maternity notes from France, but they weren't interested. I think they think I'm making it up. I'll go and have a look at Health Watch

Have to go and see the diabetes specialist on Wednesday, as they have now decided they are concerned about blood sugar. Also got told to take a sample into GP's. When I tried, GP's secretary, affronted, asked 'who told you to bring that HERE?' Refused it. So I threw it in the bin, no way I could get it through to hospital. Am a bit sick of all of it to be honest. Then asked me why I wanted an appointment with the midwife...d'uh....ingrowing toenails?

Have house full of singing moustache'd 14 year olds, high on cupcakes..... so much for peace and quiet! I even made DD a moustache themed birthday cake in a rare moment of domestic goddess-ness...

scarecrow22 Sat 19-Jan-13 20:50:18

LittleMiss I join others in horror at your treatment. You must definitely seek help - also consider PALs (sort of customer /patients group for NHS), and for all their sins NCT is a charity (I have since read they def do cut prices if not free for pple genuinely finding fees hard), so should offer advice too.
On the plus side your daughter is turning 14 but for tonight at least will not be tempting sallow undeserving feckless boys (thinking moustache not great pulling accessory). (Do people say "pulling") still?

Eagle - what news. I can't get out of my mind what a wonderful sounding mum you're going to be. It's almost a crime you won't have six so more children can enjoy your mummy ing. Thinking of you (and still marvelling that you made it to age 3 after all those mishaps grin)

How you're all having lovely weekend x

BadMissM Sun 20-Jan-13 10:33:38

scarecrow NCT finally got back to me, when I'd almost given up, and they have given me lots of money off of the course (90%), so I've been able to book it. I'm going to look at PALS if this doesn't radically improve within the next week or so.

Daughter's party was just eight squeaky girls, moustaches, and much cake.

Had to laugh this morning though. My Polish friend took some nice pictures of DD for her birthday, dressed up. Her parents came to dinner at our house the other night, and they had totally misunderstood. Thought DD was pregnant and asked if she was married...(she is tall and looks much older), and were shocked when they found out it was me!!

knickyknocks Sun 20-Jan-13 15:48:32

badmissm so sorry to hear of the crap time you've had at your local hospital. I think I take it for granted a bit that I have a choice where I live of which hospital to go to. I wish you had the same, then you wouldn't need to put up with such hideous treatment. PALS is a good suggestion though. grin at your polish friend's parents getting it wrong!
damash wonderful news! Congratulations! How did things go? Smoothly I hope.
somewhere how's things with DS?

Still snowing here and going a bit stir crazy. Got to get out tmrw as have a couple of things planned, will just have to drive at snail's pace. Feel sorry for DH - he's got a very important course to go on which he's trained for, for ages and has to get the first train of the day at 5.15 - not too hopeful for it to be running. He'll be like a bear with a sore head if he doesn't get to the course.

Bump is going fine, weighed myself this morning, have put on a stone and a half. On track for the 2 stone weight gain I had with DD. On bump news, I'm noticing baby is much quieter than DD. I can feel him moving, but he's not particularly kicky. Just squirmy! I'm sure he feels different to DD. Anyone else on their subsequent pregnancy finding things are feeling different?

blueblackdye Sun 20-Jan-13 16:10:40

Knicky, yes, I found second pg movements very different from first one, maybe because I knew what to look for... Second baby is a girl and she was kicking, moving much less but earlier than DS. But placenta this second time was anterior. Now at almost 6 months, she is much quieter than her brother ! I guess there is no connection whatsoever between different pgs.
Hope every one is enjoying the lovely white cover outside although don't know how transport will be working tomorrow... I have to walk to GP for jabs and pick up from nursery so I am quite lucky tbh.
Eagle, thinking of you.
Waves to all other mums and mums to be !

MrsWooster Sun 20-Jan-13 19:15:53

Hi, another here with very different movement. Much more squirmy and kicky- hopefully doesn't mean she'll be 50 times lively than my easy going ds! She also seems to have dropped/ engaged and feels like she's only being held in by my pelvic floor... So best wear tight pants if I'm not to leapfrog to the top of the stats list with a 30 weeker! Speaking of which, I'm now 46 so if anyone updates list (soz, I am on phone, so can't) enter the grim stat and confirm my fear that I am The Oldest On The Board...

BadMissM Sun 20-Jan-13 19:58:21

knicky Am storing up suggestions in case I have to put my foot down and be Mrs Shouty (which I'm quite good at but hate doing). Times like this I wish I lived somewhere civilised in a larger place.

This pg already feels very different to DD.

BBD I want snow!! It's so unfair, we haven't had any! DH and DD want it so they don't have to go to work/school tomorrow! DD has long journey by bus into the complete arse end of the world the wilds of the Lake District...

Mrs Wooster Gosh, someone older than me shock! That said, I'll be 46 by the time LO born!

scarecrow22 Sun 20-Jan-13 21:36:28

Mrs W, updated you on my list and will appear when next paste - unless sb else gets there first. If nobody else with iPad uses iWriter it is fab (where I keep list to update).

BadMiss so glad NCT able to help. Also do consider asking their advice about your situation viz consultants and poor care.

Lounge has been a bit neglected, but there is an audition room full of lovely (buff) men hoping to get the gig next week, so we can take our pick. The coffee beans have been refilled with fresh ones, and the hot choc tin topped up after some big action last week. What muffins shall we order? See you there tomorrow.

From a winter wonderland, good night x

BadMissM Mon 21-Jan-13 10:49:50

It's finally snowing here (but not settling)... and today is the day the landlord has decided to replace the boiler...so no heat, no water, no gas.... and he will keep leaving the bloody front door wide open, so any heat there is is rapidly evaporating.....

scarecrow I will be asking the NCT for advice.... also someone suggested maybe a Doula? I was despairing where to find one around here til DD's friends revealed at party on Sat that her mother is a Doula...

I'm just hoping diabetes consultant on Weds doesn't ban me from cake...but I will still be able to enjoy virtual cake in the lounge smile

Kazmog Mon 21-Jan-13 13:29:06

Hi Ladies, thanks for welcoming me, unfortunately I joined prematurely as I started to MC on Thursday and I am waiting for a scan this week to confirm that I lost the baby. Good luck to you all x

Kazmog Mon 21-Jan-13 13:29:14

Hi Ladies, thanks for welcoming me, unfortunately I joined prematurely as I started to MC on Thursday and I am waiting for a scan this week to confirm that I lost the baby. Good luck to you all x

BadMissM Mon 21-Jan-13 14:05:09

Kazmog So sorry to hear that....sending hugs and positive thoughts xxx

scarecrow22 Mon 21-Jan-13 14:14:37

Really sorry Kazmog. Hope you have good support and heal soon, and look forward to your company again before long x

riversidelibrary Mon 21-Jan-13 18:39:37

Belated welcomes to the new fantastic Mums on the new thread, it's lovely to share our experiences.

Kasmog So sorry to hear your sad news, I wish you all the best and hope to see you back on the thread one day soon.

eagleray I hope things are well with you, and that your recent absence is a sign that your LO is on the way, or maybe even here! Fingers tightly crossed.

BadmissM I can't believe how appalling your local PCT is, I hope things resolve somehow. At least the NCT are being helpful. I was thinking of a Doula for a while but then I discovered how much they cost, really couldn't justify it when I think DP will be a good support.

somewhere What news about DS? Is his hand recovering ok? Hope your Mum is still holding up well too hugs

Damash Congratulations thanks on the arrival of you LO, so happy for you!

knicky Hope your family are all recovered and good health now, you've had a traumatic time!

scarecrow Are you still getting the dizzy giddy spells or have they gone now? Also I vote for raspberry and white chocolate muffins for our virtual lounge, heavenly with the a hot chocolate.

AFM I'm 39 weeks today and the DC1 is showing zero signs of wanting to leave his cozy warm bump. Getting lots of Braxton Hicks, but nothing else. Sooo want him to come naturally. Have a consultant's appt on Wednesday though to discuss induction if he doesn't come by his EDD.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 21-Jan-13 20:55:50

hello all sorry been away for a while - it's just been nonstop - after being bedridden with some virus, then DS's hand, i got toothache which felt like it was infecting my whole body (a longstanding tooth situation which suddenly went bad). Then snow. DS's hand worst thing in all of it but it has made for a terribly strange two weeks in which normal stuff has been put on hold.

Today it felt good to pick up where I'd left off and do some admin and some work. Sad thing is i've booked all these classes for DS and he can't do them - but next week he can.

riverside thanks for your concern - my mum is doing well, she's through her first bout of chemo and feeling good. The next will probably be worse but she knows how long it lasts and what to expect.

DS's hand is still in a bandage and we don't know really what it will be like when they take it off but they have told us to expect full recovery in due course. He's had to wear a ridiculous waterproof mitt to nursery - like his hand is going to space.

I hope you get your wish of a natural birth - keep us updated - I can't remember if this is your first or not?

knicky yes this one is different - more consistent movement, and softer. DS was intermittent mad kicking and total stillness. Presuming they're right it's a girl, it nicely sums up sexual difference if you know what i mean. Hope your DH got to his course and also that you got out of the house. Two stone is great - exactly what it should be - well done you.

kazmog so sorry hon. Hope you are back here soon.

Mrs Wooster! how are you my dear! Hope you've got those tight pants on! I seem to remember you telling us about your last one 'clinging on like Barnacle Bill' so hopefully you'll be ok! This is what riverside doesn't want so hopefully she's wearing loose pants.

badmissm hope you're getting somewhere - it's a serious oversight for them not to give you an ELCS with your history, you're not being petty or stampy-foot. I have just got 90% of NCT too - they don't even ask for proof - that was easy. I am just going to meet other mums in the area but not expecting much. Doula sounds great - i'd love one but will have to make do with my arthritic (but lovely) MIL with whom i'll probably be living by then. Didn't understand the doula concept first time round, literally couldn't place what one would do - but now see it is brilliant.

scarecrow hope you feeling rested. waves.

AFM i can't believe in 2 weekends time i'm moving into my new flat (we'll be sharing with MIL as she is moving house, and to be chain free she's sharing with us (and the rent) ).

Also in a month i'm stopping work. DP has been told by recruitment agencies that he has a 100% chance of starting work on any day he wants. I'm sad for him as it will mean putting his company to one side, but it also means we will be ok financially through DC2's early days.

My DS is going a bit bonkers at the mo - he knows we are moving again, he knows there's a sibling coming. I'm trying to be patient and mostly succeeding but it's tough.

Anyone else getting acting up from their DCs?

wave to newbies and anyone else i've missed

xx

knickyknocks Tue 22-Jan-13 12:48:53

kazmog so so sorry to hear your news. I really hope you're able to re-join this thread soon xx
somewhere DD not acting up yet, but I have a feeling we may have it coming to us when DS arrives. Hope the house move goes well - I always find moving stressful at the best of times let alone being in a 3rd trimester of pregnancy. Be careful please, and use pregnancy as your excuse as often as possible for not doing too much.....grin. Do you get on with MIL? I think I'd probably be OK to move in with my MIL for a short-term period because she's brilliant with DD and will be very hands-on when it comes to our new DS however, equally I think I'd probably be pleased to get my own space back when she went again.
Good to hear how your mum is getting on. Long may it continue doing well with the treatment. Plus, lovely to hear DS is expected to make a full recovery. Bless him with his waterproof mitt - not very handy when it comes to going to the loo and eating. Hope the space mitt can be banished soon.....
badmissm let us know how you get on with the diabetes consultant tomorrow. Crossing fingers that you get someone decent at your PCT this time.
scarecrow buff men in the lounge?? <stampedes to the lounge for a good leer>.

No news chez knicky. Terribly tired from not sleeping properly last night, and was told by DH early this morning just as he was leaving that he wouldn't be home till silly o'clock due to a leaving do which means I have the bed and bath routine for DD tonight....again......I don't think I appreciated my pregnancy lolling around the first time round. I could get in from work and just collapse, but this time I'm starting to feel proper exhausted. 3 weeks this Friday is my last day at work (with the exception of stupidly agreeing to come in for an all day meeting somewhere round 37 weeks...why oh why.........) Mat leave can't come soon enough. I'm crossing fingers for a couple of weeks break before DS arrives. Thankfully DD will still be at pre-school 3 days a week, so I'll be collapsing on a sofa then. Much love all.

BadMissM Tue 22-Jan-13 15:00:56

Riverside Haven't actually seen how much a Doula costs yet, was going to ring DD's driend's Doula mum and ask.... if is more than three pence and a button will be out of my price range too....DH will be great, but he panics, and DD a bit young. Rest of my family not talking to me...as for the muffins, anything as long as there's no vanilla (am allergic...)!

Eagle Anything happening??? smile

Somewhere It never rains but it pours....! Just when I thought things were getting better this year, get letter from Child Tax Credit saying another overpayment to add to first one...now owe them £11,500.00. Basically almost everything they've ever given me. They won't discuss it, just insist I'm liable..

Glad to hear DS is doing better and that you are all getting over the events of the past few weeks smile

It's not just the PCT refusing to give me an ELCS, but the attitude of 'how audacious to ask for one', was told 'we don't arrange those, but will do an EMCS'. Had 2 friends left in labour for 3 days before they got one, both nearly died and have had longterm complications since, so don't trust them. They also DO arrange them, have 26 year old friend who was allowed to arrange one...

First time I heard about Doulas in the UK....had read about them in American Baby books, but didn't know we actually had them now. Probably won't be able to afford one, though!

Ooh, exciting news about the move, hope everything goes OK with that!

knicky DD behaving in a peculiar way. Is also adamant she wants this to be a boy, so she's the only girl....

I hope that I get someone decent tomorrow or I will cry. DH can't come bacause of stupid appointment time. Know I will get lots of diet lecturing, but between possible gestational diabetes and other problems/allergies, is not leaving a fat lot I can eat.

Try and get some rest (know is not easy with a big one, let alone a little one....) xxx smile

scarecrow22 Tue 22-Jan-13 17:36:29

Popping my head into the lounge between childcare issues and work (not what need when my job is in the balance)... Before I forget, BadMiss, I looked at doulas for birth and if they are "training" (newly qualified doing first half dozen or whatever jobs) their rates are a fraction of normal. If you dig into their biogs some have been midwives, nurses and all sorts so still a good bet, I thought, plus you get to meet/vet them anyway for compatibility. There is a website calle something like doulas.co.uk where you can search near you, etc. good luck.

BadMissM Tue 22-Jan-13 19:41:55

scarecrow Eep, childcare issues....just got over those, only to get them back again now!

Had a look on Doulas.co.uk, and only one came up in our area....fully qualified. We are in the middle of nowhere really... I'll have to look and see if any training ones would come up here!

When DH taking one of DD's friends home from her party on Saturday, just after I'd talked to him about what Doulas were, she casually mentioned her Mum was a Doula (they've just moved here), so might ask her what going rates etc. are... Apparently she's already a midwife amongst other things too...

scarecrow22 Tue 22-Jan-13 20:55:51

Just have to pop back in (put DD to bed but now too distracted to catch up on work!)... to say that amidst the horror and chaos that is my parenting, something has gone right (DH's genes?!): this morning my sweet poppet collected up the mugs and carried them downstairs (okay, this is not a great ad for my mothering) and put them on the sideboard. Wow, and wow I say. Something tells me it won't last at 14, but it's a great help at two!!

On that note, back to reading select committee evidence... yawn (it is interesting, just been awake since ten to five...)

<waves to all and asks forgiveness for rare opportunity to show off grin>

somewherebecomingrain Tue 22-Jan-13 22:20:08

Scarecrow big Facebook style like for your daughter - obv v well brought up. I bet it was The Cutest Thing. Selcom reports - i used to read those - they can be v interesting.

Knicky I'll join you in a leer at the buff men. Sorry you're so tired I hope you can catch up a bit at the weekend. Pg generally is just getting hard for me so must be v gruelling for u as u work full time and are 4 weeks ahead.

Mrs Wooster where are you, you are so funny please drop in more often.

It's my favourite time of day - bed time.

Today good cause I was v productive, have tabled and scheduled my last 4 weeks of work.

Today bad cause physically felt awful. Just like there's not room in my body for this baby. Also encroaching excitement/terror at dealing with two. I always feel better as DS's bedtime approaches - is that wrong?

Xx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 23-Jan-13 07:53:34

Ps Knicky I hope it's not whooping cough- have you had the jab? I'm sure it's not -v v unlikely.

Xx

knickyknocks Wed 23-Jan-13 09:52:55

Thank god no, it's not whooping cough. Just a long running nasty virus - these things linger on little ones....DD seems to be forever full of snot at the moment....lovely image....I had the WC jab last Friday. All was fine, bit of a sore arm afterwards but no nasty side effects.
Mrs W agree with somewhere lovely to see you drop in, your posts always make me giggle.
somewhere hope you're feeling better today - and no, it's certainly not wrong to feel better just as you've put DS to bed. That golden hour when DD has gone to bed is an absolute luxury to me! Well done you, on timetabling your last 4 weeks of work. We're nearly there......!! I also have moments of excitement and sheer terror of having two. Very excited to meet the little man, but dreading those newborn days and having to deal with DD too. Just trying to placate myself by saying lots of us have done it before and survived and I'm sure I will too (even if it means that for a short while I'll be sporting a slightly unkempt look with mismatching clothes....grin)
badmissm good luck with that appointment today and crossing fingers for someone decent to see you! Let us know how you get on when you get the chance.
scarecrow your DD sounds an absolute poppet - gathering up the mugs is a very important job! And your job sounds very interesting - select committee evidence?

I've brought a plate of warmed buttery croissants and pastries into the lounge for everyone plus a pile of trashy magazines. Daniel Craig has promised to pop past later donning his tux armed with a dustpan and brush later to give the floor a bit of a sweep through for crumbs grin. Much love all xx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 23-Jan-13 10:22:35

No way - Daniel Craig sweeping the floor. The phwoar should I say. Btw a bit off Colin Farrell - he was rubbish in the rubbish Total recall xx

BadMissM Wed 23-Jan-13 12:25:29

knicky Croissants sound lovely, but I feel we need Johnny Depp to serve them properly.... (phwoaaar). The most worrying thing about that is that DD also fancies Mr Depp, even though I have told her he's been mine since 'Platoon' in 1986... (Vanessa Paradis was merely a passing fling). Even telling here he's older than me didn't put her off...

scarecrow Can your DD come and give lessons to mine? Keep finding fossilised crockery all over the house...

Off to next town to hospital to see diabetic person in a minute.... probably going to get a lecture, but hopefully some help too...will kepp you posted smile

BadMissM Wed 23-Jan-13 19:24:45

Yah boo. Have gestational diabetes, lots of lectures, and medication for the moment... But they did seem to take me a bit more seriously this time at least. Even after forgetting about me in a room for 90 minutes (seriously). They had to recall people as someone had 'forgotten I was there'.... But have now referred me onto physio for joint pain too....

cyclecamper Wed 23-Jan-13 23:11:09

Oh bad luck BadMissM that all sounds rotten. At least you've got a referral for the joint pain, hope they manage to sort something out for that!

I had a possible temp job offer, but they want 2 months work, cash in hand - Why can't they pay tax like any other employer? (I know it costs a lot, but frankly they live in a huge house in Surrey, they aren't exactly on the bread line!). It would be me that ended up paying it back if they got caught angry.

I finally have a mw appointment - it's in 2 weeks. I'm glad they aren't worried, but that makes me nearly 22 weeks by the booking in appointment! Still, I'm off to see the dr tomorrow so it should all be fine.

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 12:42:32

cyclecamper OMG, will they not bring the appointment forward for you?

Argh, why can't people employ you properly....there seems to be more and more of that going on under this goverment....and if you get caught, you would be in big trouble, not them. My brother had a job where they deducted tax and NI, then afetr 5 years he discovered they had taken it, but not paid a penny...

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 14:16:35

Hey cyclecamper pleased you got your booking in appointment at 22 weeks! When did you find out you were pregnant again? You must be feeling quite good on it to not have needed to see the doctor until now.

badmissm well when i first got on here people were finding out they had GD and as I remember it's an excuse to eat brown rice, lentils, pulses and lots of fresh vegetables - things us ladies like cos they know it helps their weight and health, but the DPs generally resist - and didn't somebody say they'd lost a stone on their GD diet. But maybe you don't like those foods. Anyway sorry to hear it but glad they're paying you proper attention.

Personally feeling so knackered. So pregnant. Did take floradix this morning and did get a boost. But it never last - none of these supplements do anything after a few days.

Then went to the dentist to have my root canal. Nothing could anaesthatise the tooth... some wierd syndrome where a tooth gets ultra sensitive before the nerve dies. They gave me some really strong anasthetic - said it could knock out a horse's tooth - but still no joy. Now wondering around feeling like a wobbly newborn colt - to continue the horse metaphor - lips all askew like Jacquie Stallone and no root canal.

Just got some more work through - wondering whether to say yes or not.

xx

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 15:25:48

somewhere The dietician said there wasn't much I could do via diet because I eat lots of stuff like that anyway...DH will be a little resistant though, methinks....

I had exactly the same problem with a tooth which had to be root canal'ed, because of enexplicable pain, nothing wrong with the tooth.... It carried on hurting after that, intermittently. I thought I was mad, as had no nerves to hurt. Then 2 years ago had to have it extracted, as it cracked and got an abcess...again, lots of pain. It was then they realised it had 5 roots not 4...and one nerve had remained. Make sure they check!

Diabetes news still sinking in. They think now may have been very borderline even before pg....

I just want to cry though.

1) Have a boil at bottom of my nose which feels like it's sucking my brains out.... blush

2) The sodding buggering bloody stupid Employment Tribunal has been adjourned AGAIN. Was already adjourned from October-Feb, now re-adjourned because 'judge needed for case of national importance'. To 'somewhere between March and July'. Just tried ringing court to explain am pg, and have pain issues, and the chances of me being able to sit for eight hours a day for three days, with no painkillers, are slim. Guy couldn't have cared less.
'Well, just take off the day you are giving birth'
Me: 'I don't, and won't know. Also won't be in the day after, really'
'You must have some idea'
Me: 'DD was born 7 weeks early- you see the problem?'
'No. You must know'
Me: 'Well, what if I say I can come, then am in hospital'
'That's your problem' angry

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH! This has been in court for two years now, with years of hell at work preceding it.... I wanted it settled before LO born, and before I'm too risky to sit in a court.... Want to cry, lots.sad

cyclecamper Thu 24-Jan-13 16:11:28

somewhere I found out at 16 weeks. I went to the dr today for the routine monthly appointment (at least she's on the ball!) and everything is fine as far as she is concerned, which is a relief.

BadMissM Oooh nose boil - yick! They do suck your brains out, it's a fact.
The employment tribunal sounds deeply frustrating. You'd think that in this day and age people would understand how pregnancy works! angry I hope things get better for you soon.

I seem to have lost my chance at that job by saying that I expect to be employed legally especially if it's more than a few days. The agencies just want the business so they push nannies into taking jobs that are cash in hand. I believe in paying taxes. It's not as if I'm a 20 year old filling in a gap year!

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 16:15:57

cyclecamper And, I have to go with my hideously disgigured nose to stupid options evening at DD's school now...blush

Not just how pg works for Tribunal, but as is under DDA they know I have lots of health issues anyway....

Certain sectors are really bad for trying to employ people without paying tax and NI... Agencies shouldn't be handling them though....they know it's illegal...

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 16:43:01

wow cyclecamper did you not have any tiredness/morningsickness/moodswings/wierd food cravings? I would ahve quite liked to be blissfully unaware at that point rather than hugging the toilet bowl and being a pregzilla monster.

badmiss are there bad consequences of you not being there because giving birth? If it happens I can't believe they won't understand - will your representative still be able to be there to advocate for you?

Sorry about boil, i've been there!

interesting tooth info - blimey can't any of us just be normal! have our appointments at normal times, respond normally to anaesthetic, have nice employers!!!!

Must download a bit more about tooth. It was just baffling - then dentist tells me it can't be infected because a live nerve can't be infected. Really? Living human tissue cannot be infected? Internet doesn't seem to back this up. At the very least he was not explaining it properly to me. He said it will die in two weeks and then i can have the root canal but that had the scent of placating bullshit about it. i mean i don't blame him, it's not his fault, i just don't think he explained things properly.

xx

MrsWooster Thu 24-Jan-13 19:58:43

Hi badmiss, I'm one of the other diabetesistas. THe tablets (Metformin) aren't so bad, if you can't do it via diet - you may be surprised though, as "good" stuff like fruit and fruit juice is an absolute killer and what really works is a sort of Atkins-lite diet with a bit of low GI carbs for laffs. The tablets, should you end up on them can be a bit nauseating if you have to take 2 at a time, so mAke sure you take them WITH food not on an empty stomach; even half an hour after food seems to be a problem. I also manage by massively reducing portions so I am the one with THe Weight Loss! I did have plenty of weight to spare so it's not a problem though I am gloomily proving the adage that after 40 you chose your face OR your figure, as I see my skeletal face with pleated skin instead of the normal rosy chub!
Meh, I've had a good innings at looking younger than my age so it's time to face the truth.

BadMissM Thu 24-Jan-13 20:04:42

somewhere Cics of me not showing would be the case would be dropped. I don't have a representative, union backed out on me.

My tooth was the same, no logical reason, but hurt like hell....

I long to be normal, would love just to have everything normal!!!

Mrs Wooster They are giving me Metformin, but haven't given massive amounts of diet advice...apart from 'avoid sugar'.... I have plenty of weight to spare, so probably won't look that skinny!!!

cyclecamper Thu 24-Jan-13 20:15:48

somewhere I had total, debilitating tiredness, and lack of appetite, but those can be symptoms of other things, such as menopause and ME and both those are rather more common than vasectomy failing after 15 years! (my husband had the snip 10 years before we met). I was a bit grumpy which I put down to the tiredness and I had no sickness at all except one day of a bug but my husband had a bug on and off for wees at the time, so that didn't count! I felt more sick this afternoon than I did any point up till then - I think gladys must have shuffled round onto a nerve or something. I have to say, there is definitely something to be said for missing out all the early worrying stages and finding out just as bump is beginning!

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 22:31:14

goodness cyclecamper - i wonder if it makes any difference knowing or not knowing - you must have felt something was up. I am to this day intrigued by people who don't realise until the baby is born and sort of wish i could achieve that. I have a cousin on facebook who looks like a pipecleaner at 20 weeks but i looked like i'd swallowed a whole wild boar at that stage.

badmissm sorry you are so on your own hon with the tribunal. You must have incredible strength. I hope it resolves soon as it will be a relief one way or another to put it behind you. I hope you can do some stuff in the meantime to put it out of your mind.

mrswooster that's interesting so you can sort of low carb during pregnancy and lose weight? I've not - by some miracle - got GD but I've put on almost a full 2 stone and i've still got 10 weeks to go - really don't want to balloon up because it's debilitating, forget about looks (no time for that). Currently eyeing the 5:2 diet and wondering could I? surely pregnant women experienced famine in the olden days too (the underlying rationale for fasting).

I'm looking wierdly young as i've a) put on weight and b) have so much fluid pulsing round my body. all my wrinkles have disappeared and everyone is saying wow you look good. it is literally like i'm 5-7 years younger. i will shrivel up like a witch after I deliver!

knicky we are nearly there - you are, certainly! and if you are nearly there i will be soon! what is it, 6 weeks? glad no whooping cough - last thing anyone needs.

anyway floradix and extra folic acid seems to have given me an energy boost today. I hope it lasts. Want to do something nice with DS tomorrow.

My DP is applying for a job tomorrow morning. I think he is a good candidate and did a good application but it's also quite a good job and therefore there's bound to be competition.

xxx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 24-Jan-13 22:38:35

PS what has happened to eagle????

eagleray Fri 25-Jan-13 09:55:54

Sorry for absence - I am retreating from the world slightly as been finding things very, very stressful recently. I am fine, as is baby (we are being monitored a lot) and I will be back soon.

Thinking of you all, and thank you for your support and friendship xxx

somewherebecomingrain Fri 25-Jan-13 10:05:54

Totally understand. It's completely overwhelming and
shattering. Words can hardly capture it. Life at the source - so pure it burns almost. Glad you are both fine and will wait for updates. Xxx

knickyknocks Fri 25-Jan-13 11:55:14

cycle can't believe the attitude of those agencies.....you want to be above board and employers are overlooking you for jobs because of it. Ridiculous. Can't believe you're only just having your booking in appointment at 22 weeks....grin In some ways, I think it's brilliant - you've missed those scary first few weeks where you're wondering whether things are going to stick or not.
badmissm boo to the GD! And two fingers to that tribunal lot. Flaming stupid and so upsetting, you poor thing. Unbelievable how they are able to delay a case for so long (I say that but know how the court systems work due to DH being in the police and just KNOW the utterly ridiculous decisions they make). Agree with somewhere that your strength and resolve are amazing.
somewhere your tooth!! Ouch!!! I'm crossing fingers that it gets sorted over the next couple of weeks. Hugs and sympathy to the tiredness - it's all encompassing by this stage isn't it? Hope you get to do something nice with DS today. How old will DS be when your little one arrives? Ooh and good luck to your DP for the interview today xx
eagle totally understand. Lovely to see you drop in - please update another time when things are calmer. Much love and hugs xx

I'm fine, thank god it's Friday. 3 weeks today of work left. My pelvis pain is starting to make me look like I've got an incontinence problem when I walk which is nice hmm - and I'm not racing about anywhere fast. Quite frankly, if people think I'm moving too slowly down corridors/exiting lifts etc they can bugger off (good to see my pregnancy hormones working a treat.....). Have had 2 complete strangers rub my tummy in the past day. Err..personal space??!

I had a small feeling of panic when one of my work colleagues started talking to me about labour the other day - oh bloody hell - I've got to go through that whole thing again. Yes, I know it has to happen, but really don't love the pain aspect of it. My DH keeps saying 'but it'll be worth it won't it?' to which I want to reply that of course it will but I'm not sure he gets how painful I found it last time (sorry to the first timers for TMI - my first labour was quick and intense, hence no pain relief so you could say it smarted a bit.....)

BadMissM Fri 25-Jan-13 12:01:07

somewhere No, must just be incredibly, incredibly mad to go through with this hell! I was just hoping for some respite between tribunal and birth so could enjoy pg without that hanging over my head... also, financially so could actually buy some things for LO...Am trying not to think about it, but it's hard. First put in June 2011, then first hearing not til Nov 2011, then put off till July 2012, where not finished, (there I did cry), put off til October 2012, then adjourned, til February 2013, now could be any time from March-July, and they don't seem to give a toss about pg.... Bugger it, will give birth in courtroom if I have to!!

cyclecamper I'm only 14 weeks and look like I've swallowed a bus!

somewhere despite feeling cack have been told am looking good.... must be the mummy thing! Have been told to low GI during pg... could do with losing a few pounds!

Good luck to your DP for job applications!

eagle Just lovely to hear you and the LO are OK, sending much love and come back when you feel well enough! xxxx

Just still amazingly tired....but not sleeping. Drives me mad.

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 14:07:54

Hello semi-strangers. Been lurking but crazy week as DH away and sister supposed to do bath and bed for DD but her daughter (my niece) had a really awful virus (poor mite at one point hallucinating with fever and thought there was an animal in her mouth hmm) and my sister's has and also away (never rains but pours!) so kept having to rush home an juggle favours. Plus pants pants pants week at work. Plus still don't know if I've for a job in two months so insecurity building again.

Anyway, DD been a total poppet and my mum helped out (unusual but a great success) and giddy spells gone, so lots of positives too.

So sorry about all poorliness and rubbish sounding low GI diets. We should get the pistachio and honey cake recipe off BBD and have one served up in the lounge, where this week's motto is " anything goes, and the children sleep" smile

BadMiss so sorry such a crap time: you deserve a total angel baby to make up for it. Somewhere tooth sounds agony: I think tooth ache actually alters your character by taking over your whole head so incl the brain - you spud v same considering: great news about work offer and DP's interview, if nothing else will be good experience for the next one. Eagle, so understand, sounds like deep nesting instinct; remember we are all here for you when you are ready, and we miss your lovely company. Knicky (I think) I am totally with you on the touching bump, I'm a big one for personal space, in fact I even feel a bit odd about LO taking over inside me ( don't remember this from last time bec DD so implausibly calm). MrsW lovely to hear from you: waves to you, cycle and her miracle magic LO, and any others I've forgotten.

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 14:14:04

PS just took DD to theatre with a little friend. Best bits: the train, seeing Abi, (the friend), the cake, running around the bus stop, playing peepo with Abi, the train home, mummy pretending Bunny could talk in her ear to stop an OT whinefest on the train. Actually she enjoyed the play by end, especially "dancing" with the penguins. But in reality was just a reason to do other fun stuff smile

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 15:06:03

I have seen it all now... At hospital for 28wk MW check and when I asked for a sample bottle (apologies) they said "we're not giving them out any more, you have to keep it"???!!!!???!!!

somewherebecomingrain Fri 25-Jan-13 16:07:40

Scarecrow! Good to see you back.

Took ds to physio just now. He has to wear bandage for 2 more weeks but everything healing well and physio said he'll be 100%!

Xx

BadMissM Fri 25-Jan-13 17:58:17

knicky Stupid tribunal and work have been ruining my life and DD's altogether for the best part of 7 years. Just want it to be over and get on with having LO and my life!

Think we all go 'ooh' to that labour thing really. Am not of the 'embracing pain' school. Still think best description ever in Marian Keyes, where someone described it as 'like shitting a sofa down O'Connell St'! smile

Scarecrow You're back!! Work insecurity and everyone in the world getting viruses doesn't sound good. When we were moving, everyone due to help got Novovirus...

They told me at hospital yesterday that they were hiding sample bottles as 'expensive and they're running out'. I told her it was either that or I pee in a pickled onion jar and she gave me one quicksmart!

Somewhere So glad to hear DS is doing well xxx

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 20:09:36

Somewhere, so so pleased about DS - as you must be x 1,000. Good to have some bright news. When likely hear about DP? And hope your mum still bearing up well.

Yes, Kingston Hospital really does now ak mums to be to recycle their sample bottles. We have to bring home pot of pee, wash out and sterilise with boiling water. I presume (any of you medically aligned lot?) that if people do not sterilise their pot it will not put them in danger of misdiagnosis by contamination? I don't really mind, but somehow see UK as a different sort of country...

Go back in six weeks to, all being well, book c-section. That seems a bit real! That and pricing up double buggy on Monday...

MrsWooster Fri 25-Jan-13 20:34:04

Evening all. Bad, Leeds have given really good support re GD, considering accidentally reignites War of Roses. The gist is Carbs Are Not Our Friends. Aim for 30-40 grams of Carbs for Breakfast, 10-20g for mid morning snack and mid afternoon snack, 30-40g lunch and 10-20gpudding and same again for tea. Of these carbs, it's the "Of Which Sugars" section of the chart that is the key - 30g of carbs of which 5g sugars is loads better than 20g of carbs of which 15g is sugars. I never even knew what the little charts on the back of food meant, now I peer obsessively at them - shame my age means I am so longsighted that I have to ask passersby to hold them some metres away... You will be HORRIFIED at things like an apparently healthy sandwich that's 70g of carbs...
Am off to eat cashew nuts now, to try and iron out a few wrinkles before the One Born Every Minute team redirect me to geriatric department so as not to spoil their wide shots.
PS, cocoa has practically no carbs, hot choc has tons, so winter comfort drinks ARE still possible. Hurrah.

riversidelibrary Fri 25-Jan-13 21:23:16

Just a quick update, baby Samuel arrived early this morning at 39 weeks and 3 days. After a day of latent labour, which stalled at midday and restarted in the evening and then my waters broke at 11pm. Was 5cm dilated on arrival at triage at midnight, and by the time they transferred me down to the delivery suite an hour later I was fully dilated after only a TENs for pain relief, not to be recommended.

An hour of pushing and he was out, bright blue but howling immediately. Healthily 8lb 6oz, only issue was he came out with his hand by his face so second degree tear in my lady parts and stitches galore.

BadMissM Fri 25-Jan-13 21:29:45

S'Ok Mrs Wooster am not a native, and used to live the other side of the heavily armed frontier border in Hebden Bridge! I'm a Londoner by birth! Have been on line reading low GI food lists and feeling incredibly glad that stuff I hate things am unconvinced about are on the high GI list...

I'm bad enough trying to see if food has vanilla in it (am allergic to it), but the little charts...I need a large magnifying glass to see them! (Pretty soon will be a bath chair and an ear trumpet). I think 'One Born Every Minute' would reject me for being inaesthetic and putting people off of pregnancy for life!

I just wish that the medical professionals would stop asking me my date of birth 15 times every visit. Yes, I'm sure I'm that old!!!

Cocoa GOOD thing though!

scarecrow22 Fri 25-Jan-13 22:13:44

Riverside, wow, huge congratulations. What a journey. Sorry about tear - I hope you've had words wink - but so glad you both otherwise safe. Enjoy these magical scary dreamlike days together, and say yes to every single itty bit of help. Or ask!

blueblackdye Fri 25-Jan-13 23:33:06

Oh, just saw Riverside's wonderful news ! Brilliant, welcome baby Samuel ! Riverside, hope you will recover soon, second dgree tear, this must be painful. [Running to the Grad thread and pushing every one to make a comfy seat for you.]

just wanted to share this video with you, on YouTube, search "thalasso bain bebe sonia rochel " it is so peaceful...

knickyknocks Sat 26-Jan-13 07:38:41

thanks river wonderful news!! so sorry to hear about the tear and sunsequent stitches, that sounds painful - the labour sounded as if it was mercifully quick, but know also how intense things get when labour is quick. Samuel is a beautiful name, and it's wonderful to hear you're both safe and sound. Congratulations thanks

MrsW grin at the possible re-direction to the geriatric ward!! Cashew nuts you say? <makes mental note to get a kilo pack from Tesco today>

scarecrow Kingston? I'm Epsom - though could have chosen Kingston but Epsom a smidge closer. Can't believe the pee pot policy! Not been mentioned at Epsom yet, in fact seem to still be merrily passing them out. As you say in all seriousness, surely they are going to get loads of misdiagnoses from manky old pots used for months on end? Think they may be cutting back on the wrong thing!

BadMissM Sat 26-Jan-13 11:34:35

Riverside What amazing news!!! So glad to hear you and baby Samuel doing well, sorry to hear about the tear (owch). Samuel gorgeous name! xxxx I must have been posting at same time and didn't see it before!

somewherebecomingrain Sat 26-Jan-13 17:01:47

wonderful news riverside! blimey only a TENs machine. Sorry about the tear - not TMI at all - hope you are healing well. Welcome to Samuel - he sounds lovely!

xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 26-Jan-13 17:12:40

sorry - you didn't even suggest it was TMI - and rightly so.

xx

MrsWooster Sat 26-Jan-13 19:30:57

Congratulations River, hurrah for another graduate and even more for the prospect of a quick labour though am shifting uneasily like everyone else at the tear.. Young Samuel sounds like he was in enough of a hurry without waving on his entrance too.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 27-Jan-13 17:15:25

Third trimester tiredness hitting like a sledgehammer. Nothing floradix, pregnacare or spatone can do to resist its mighty power. This is the stage where I would fall asleep on a public loo at work last time round. Anyone else?

Xxx

knickyknocks Sun 27-Jan-13 18:09:10

Third trimester tiredness? ME!!!!! Oh somewhere I'm feeling exhausted too and thoroughly hormonal. DH has just got off nights and I know he's exhausted too, but honestly I don't think he gets how tired I feel sad. Sorry to winge and moan but my back is so achey too. 33 weeks today. Not long now. 3 weeks left of work and am praying for 2 weeks of DD attending pre school whilst I lounge on the sofa before the new one makes an appearance. Hugs and sympathy lovely somewhere I'm feeling exactly the same as you.

BadMissM Sun 27-Jan-13 18:42:41

I dread to think how knackered I'm going to feel in the third trimester....I'm already falling asleep now. Only not in bed, where I can't sodding sleep, everywhere else!

somewhere What is Floradix? I'll try anything!

scarecrow22 Sun 27-Jan-13 19:35:17

Somewhere, you poor thing. Am a bit less tired than during horror sleep month when started to fall off chair at work as fell asleep at desk (I was on office alone!) - but experience gives me some insight/empathy.

Sympathy you too Knicky. Might feel like a v long 3 weeks hmm do you work full time? Hope colleagues can help a bit more. Or DP.

You might all love me or hate me for this, but have to share link my sister sent me for "microwave mug cakes" - take a min or two to mix up, another couple of mins to cook - I tried one tonight with DD (Nutella) and was perfect for her utter lack of concentration span, and surprisingly delicious.

Here it is: http://www.morebeans.com/articles/7-easy-microwave-mug-cake-recipes

Tbh am struggling a lot with DH away and uncertainty about future at work. Had a lovely weekend with DD but miss DH a lot and feeling quite lonely and flat, and - probably hormonal - really worried all time about things happening to DD hmm Anyway nice day planned tomorrow with DD - a little dance class, fetching her new double buggy and then a play date with lovely people after nap. Should cheer me up smile

somewherebecomingrain Sun 27-Jan-13 21:24:48

Hey Knicky if u can't whinge here where can u whinge? I feel like my crotch is imploding.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 27-Jan-13 21:37:16

sympathy for you to scarecrow - your dp must be super helpful for you to miss him so much wink. You must rest but Play dates are brilliant best tonic.

Badmiss it's from holland and Barrett fruit juice syrup with iron and b vits. Much praised on mumsnet. Get the plain one it tastes lovely not flora vital variety which is yuck. It gives me a day of energy then it poops out but I'm desperate xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sun 27-Jan-13 21:43:24

Ps re mug cake - we are far too fat. Ds not fat but obsessed with choc in a genuinely anomalous way. Unfortunately dp has learned how to make fearnley-Whitt cake that is just sugar butter choc - flour barely gets a look in. I feel we have little margin for mug cakes - poses real danger - meth to crack addicts or summat. Though I'm getting thinner as bump grows cause of stress.

Xxxx

somewherebecomingrain Sun 27-Jan-13 21:47:38

Knicky men have no idea. I can't believe you work full time too. I hope and pray you get those two weeks or more who knows. You've been talking about it for a while but without whinging- your not a whinger.

Xxx

BadMissM Mon 28-Jan-13 13:21:55

Scarecrow we all get down in the dumps sometimes...!

somewhere Dh similarly good at cooking, very bad for me. was even waving ginger cake under my nose the other night after gestational diabetes verdict.... could have murdered him. I would have got away with it.... already no fags, no gin, no caffeine, now no cake, is enough for anyone.... He walks around all day so eats about a million calories and doesn't put weight on....

somewhere Will be raiding Holland and Barratt later, I think!

cyclecamper Mon 28-Jan-13 13:27:23

scarecrow and knicky, there must be something in the water in south London/North Surrey, I'm in Carshalton!

We went to a hostel in Northumberland this weekend with some friends, on of whom has a 5 year old who went down with something that looks as though it is Slapped Cheek. I assume that as I've been exposed to it so often over the last 20 years, I will be immune, but it's a bit worrying, especially as I haven't yet had the booking appointment so I don't have a midwife to worry at. It was a beautiful weekend though.

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 15:05:38

Hurrah Cycle. I sometimes feel v uncool out here in SW burbs! We can be uncool (ok you might be v cool wink) and old and fabulous40 together grin will you use Epsom or Kingston-of-the-recycled-wee-pots?

Feel v buoyed by fab fab fab new double buggy. DD loves it smile And she was so adorable in dance class - so exuberant though always last to get ribbon, sticker etc as she let all the other children push ahead - on balance she is pretty robust so decided to be pleased she was gentle but persistent - waited patiently and didn't give up. She told a whole famy in library yesterday "that mine table" - though she's long abandoned it to move chairs about etc- so they had done nothing wrong - just saying as don't want to over claim for her gentleness!

She is now napping next to me after such a happy few hours together, and my boss will call at 6 so agony wait over, and suddenly all feels better. I've been secretly longing to kidnap her for a nap. Now I don't want to sleep so I can enjoy every second smile

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 15:08:22

Would be a bit wired, Cycle, if you were Kingston as our due dates about a day apart! So feel free not to say

sparklysapphire Mon 28-Jan-13 15:40:50

Congratulations riverside, I bet Samuel is gorgeoud despite the tear. I hope it's healing well.

knicky & somewhere, hope you are managing to struggle throught the tiredness. I did 8 night shifts in my last month at work when expecting DD, not something I'm in a hurry to repeat. I'm feeling tired but only 10 weeks, and I think it's mainly lack of sleep rather than pregnancy.

MissM, sorry about the GD, not good to have more stuff banned while you're pregnant, but at least it sounds like you're getting taken more seriously now. Have you seen the physio yet? And sorry they are being so intransigent with the employment tribunal and your pregnancy, sounds like it has been and continues to be a complete nightmare.

I seem to remember that when I was pregnant with DD that I had to keep my sample bottle, as they didn't keep giving them out, nuchal fold wasn't available on the NHS near me then either - my GP told me that the PCT had no money, that was 5 years ago so expect to have to keep the sample bottle again, though they now do nuchal fold.
I have not yet managed to get the GP, even though I'm 10 weeks tomorrow and beginning to worry I'm leaving it too late for tests at the appropriate time. I've not been able to make an advance appointment or one on the day and have phoned about 4 times. I hope to manage it tomorrow. No further discussion with DH about the situation, we haven't even mentioned it, I don't expect him to come to the scan with me, then I won't be disappointed when he says no. Otherwise we're getting on fine, so I don't know how things are going to go.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 15:44:46

Hey scarecrow those dance classes reveals a lot about personality I think! My ds is always at the front grabbing!!!! Shame. Better is that he is quick to follow the teacher and one of the first to 'get' the new move. X

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 16:16:40

Somewhere, DD very definitely did not get any move, or at least none meant too. Also far too keen (shall we say) to "freeze" when meant to. But hey, she's two, and she was SOOO happy grin

cyclecamper Mon 28-Jan-13 16:37:10

scarecrow I'm probably going to be at St Helier - that is where my booking in appointment is. It's a bit closer to me than Epson and I can get there on one bus, which is handy!

My dr gave me my sample pot back to re-use. Since St Helier maternity unit is permanently under threat, I suspect they will do the same.

Got another interview for 3 days temping tonight at 7. It becomes hard work going for the interview when you won't be home till 9 or so! Still, it would be useful to be paid.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 17:53:41

yup scarecrow my DS is 2 years older though i am trying to compare him to others in his age group. at the trial before Xmas he didn't get any moves - just a few months and suddenly he can do a very very rough approximation. love those dance classes though they are unbelievably cute - the one i go to they practice their galloping in pairs and it takes me breath away it's so cute. My DS manfully engaged a little girl to gallop with - you see all this stuff of them as independent personalities that you don't see in any other context.

need to moan. i feel sick again - squished stomach rather than chemical but still. puffy hands. breathless. strained ligaments. jellified crotch. i feel as if my bump is sucking the goodness out of me. i feel like my whole body is slightly hot and inflamed in service of it. i felt like this last time so not exactly worried beyond the usual constant worry. but god although i love having a baby i hate being pregnant! yesterday i couldn't even watch the telly cause i just couldn't get comfortable on the couch. ended up going to bed but in truth even lying down is hard!

we've got to move house this weekend - every time i think of that i feel lovely and peaceful - NOT!

sorry having a Damash moment.

sparkly glad it's all going well. We get new urine bottles whenever we want in my luxury north london nhs trust. Your DH's reaction sounds like an extreme 'going into the cave' reaction in the Venus and Mars style - you are doing the right thing it's good to let them come out of the cave in their own time. you are very good wife.

xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 17:55:07

cyclecamper good luck with your interview! xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 17:57:33

ps scarecrow your DD sounds just lovely! Patience is an excellent trait!

xxx

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:22:00

Ah galloping, Somewhere. You wouldn't be doing Diddi Dance would you? Just we also did galloping. Or rather she did. She would not hold hands with a boy I suspect. Long may that last wink

Sorry you are feeling so cra*. In the wonderful world of this thread I'm picked up from the weekend's real downer so will send over some spare

Sparkly You are a saint. I would try a lot of reassurance too. At times you'll think how flipping immature of him - not then! When you can bear to see he might need reassurance, ask or just give it. Try and get him to voice his fears. It turned out one of my DH's buried fears was that I would not cope (not patronising as I ha past depression) and he would have to look after us both. We had a constructive chat and it did help a bit. And so it goes on. Thinking of you.

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:22:48

Spare

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:23:14

Spare energy. DD keeps pressing buttons smile

eagleray Mon 28-Jan-13 19:08:51

Precious little Baby Eagle is here! Weighs 8lb 12oz and is currently tucked into my nightie refusing to feed!

Will post more soon xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 28-Jan-13 19:44:44

yes, diddidance! it's great!

eagle awww Baby Eagle! So lovely. What a fabulous weight. Little monkey not feeding! Look forward to updates and full account!

xx

scarecrow22 Mon 28-Jan-13 20:39:47

Eagle - an Eaglet. Hurray!! So so thrilled for you. Really heart filling stuff. So glad you both safe. Tell the ungrateful little tyke this is as good as life gets smile
Take such good care xxx

MrsWooster Mon 28-Jan-13 21:43:47

Welcome Eaglet. Enjoy.

cyclecamper Mon 28-Jan-13 21:59:41

Congratulations Eagle grin

Got the job and finally got home again despite the railways. 3 days work should make it worth it. Probably.

BadMissM Mon 28-Jan-13 22:57:05

Eagle Congratulations!!!!!! Welcome to the world, Baby Eagle!!!

Cyclecamper Yay! You got the job!!!

knickyknocks Tue 29-Jan-13 10:20:15

Eagle fab fab fab! thanks thanks thanks Wonderful news, so lovely to hear you and the little eaglet are doing well and are safe and sound. If you get the chance it'd be lovely to hear your labour story (understand though that your time is filled at the mo!)
cycle Carshalton? That's nice and close to me! Fab news too about your job - congratulations!
somewhere yes, the joys of the third trimester continue for both you and I....I am struggling too on getting comfy - so know how the trying to get comfy on the sofa is tricky to say the least - I've been going to bed at 7.30 with about 8 pillows strategically placed around the bed. There is now a huge feather stuffed cushioned wall between me and him at night grin. My problem is that I've got dreadful mid-back pain and it seems to be excruciating by 4pm. Thankfully I only work 4 days a week but that is PLENTY!! I can see the finish line - and you're nearly there too. Please try and get lots of people roped in to help with the move at the weekend. BTW your DS sounds gorgeous!
sparkly so sorry to hear DH is still burying his head in the sand with regards to the pregnancy - think scarecrow offers some excellent advice. I hope he comes round soon my love. It must be difficult to say the very least for you right now.
scarecrow your DD sounds much the same as mine, she always let the other kids bound ahead of her, but she too is fairly robust character, and seems to be very patient. So sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit low with DH being away. When is he back? It's so hard doing the single parent routine being pregnant and having a toddler. Hugs.
Waves to badmissm, mrsW, river and bbd.

For all my whinging and moaning my DD still absolutely makes my day - yesterday on a long walk to the shops, I was moaning about how heavy the buggy was and she suddenly said 'Shall I get out and walk Mummy?' - bless her, then last night, she was rubbing my back when I said it was sore. She makes my heart melt smile.

12 more working days to go till mat leave - not that I'm counting..... <crosses another day off with a big red marker>

BadMissM Tue 29-Jan-13 10:52:33

Knicky Your DD sounds gorgeous, a lot like mine when she was little.... (she's actually really considerate now, despite me moaning!) Roll on your Maternity Leave...sounds like you really need it!

Scarecrow Know the single parent routine can be hard.... DD and I had it for years.... She sounds happy with her dance classes though. DD used to love them, even though she has inherited her mother's complete lack of co-ordination was a long way from being a dance diva!

Somewhere So you're in my old neck of the woods (the proper side of the river!). Moving house? So not fun, my heart goes out to you xxx

Waves to Sparkly River BBD and Mrs W

I'm now on the diabetic meds...finally....

somewherebecomingrain Tue 29-Jan-13 12:09:00

oh knicky when i hear that i soooo want a daughter (am holding myself in check until i see the proof). she sounds lovely!

you are a bit superheroic working at all IMHO. I am really lucky - three more weeks of part time work and i'm done and its all my own decision. you deserve every pillow in that bed of yours - i hope they are of the finest quality.

and i mean scarecrow/knicky patient AND determined - what a super combo.

cycle great news on the job! always nice to win some work though i bet like the rest of us you'd rather be on a feather bed.

badmiss yes we are both north of the river - not that strange bandit country below. glad you got your meds - hope you are getting lots of other good attention. your daughter sounds great too.

today going to another dentist to try to numb and kill my tooth for the second time. Possibly if I can handle it i will go ahead with the procedure even if it's not properly numb as it needs treatment. I have never been scared of the dentist, and also never had pain when i had DS - maybe this is my comeuppance. [fear]

had two spatones in quick succession and it has helped with third trimester tiredness.

let's get a feather bed with lots of duck-down pillows in the coffee house.

xx

BadMissM Tue 29-Jan-13 12:14:51

somewhere Am currently a long way north of the River (300 miles or so), but am a North Londoner by birth.... family all still down there....

Owch to the tooth....was bad enough when not pg, but now....ow!

Feather bed sounds great!

scarecrow22 Tue 29-Jan-13 13:35:08

Having a sneaky look at thread over quick lunch. Have to say Knicky your DD sounds adorable - what kindness. She must have a v good role-model smile

Approx speaking of which did any of you mums of sons read "Raising Boys"? And will other mums of DDs read his new "Raising Girls". Am tempted - want to think reading a couple of news articles will suffice, but in my experience books often have a lot more wisdom and sense than a 1,000 second hand version. Time, oh where is the time?!

Perhaps we Shd get copies for the lounge? And a vote for that big bed.

Oh, and what do you guys think of new childcare proposals? My CM horrified and she is super woman, which is all the research I want to do on it.

BadMissM Tue 29-Jan-13 14:24:32

scarecrow New childcare proposals way to make the Tories' friends in Childcare PLC way more money, whilst treating kids like battery hens. GRRRRR! We need decent state-run subsidised childcare like they have in France.

knickyknocks Tue 29-Jan-13 14:59:36

somewhere you poor thing, the dentist work continues sad. I hope time passes quickly whilst in that chair. Let's hope they get the job finished this time for once and for all so you don't need to go back to the dentist for some time (thank god it's free though - hope you're using your pregnancy NHS free treatment card!). PS I giggled at your description of south of the river 'the strange bandit country below' brilliant description! I definitely think there's a divide between south and north londoners (and not just the obvious one being the large wet expanse of water grin).
BTW I may be a little biased, but happen to think that having a daughter is wonderful. She has been a remarkably placid wonderful toddler, I suspect we may pay the price for this when she gets to her teen years (though badmissm's post gives me hope that I'm wrong!)
badmissm and scarecrow agree that the new childcare proposals sound ludicrous. What the heck difference do qualifications make when it comes to numbers that they can look after? As I understand it, they are not proposing changes to children aged 3 plus but for children who are aged 2 and under. Quite frankly, at that age, I couldn't care less whether the carer has degrees/diplomas or whatever, just as long as they cuddle and nurture my child in the way I would. Far more important IMHO. Quite right badmissm our children are not battery hens.....
scarecrow not heard of the raising girls and raising boys books. Going to have a sneaky peek if I can though. A copy for the lounge please and a third vote for that lovely huge feather bed - whilst we're there could we also employ a reflexologist in the lounge? Feel like I could do with a couple of indulgent treatments before the little one arrives.....

somewherebecomingrain Tue 29-Jan-13 20:31:06

Good day for me - mums cat scan shows her tumours are shrinking and the oncologist said he was 'very pleased'.

Also competent dentist numbed my tooth and Killed nerve cleaned and sealed It and I ate on that side of my mouth for first time in a year.

Waves to all - xxx

cyclecamper Tue 29-Jan-13 21:09:47

somewhere great news about your mum. Sorting out tooth pain is SUCH a relief, isn't it?

re: childcare proposals - the only people who are likely to benefit are the owners of nurseries. The people doing the caring will have more children to look after and exactly the same money as before, guaranteed. Children won't benefit - the qualities neccessary for childcare are common sense, patience and a love of children, none of which you can educate into someone.

scarecrow22 Wed 30-Jan-13 09:01:18

Somewhere - made my day to hear such good double news. So pleased for your mum - what a motivation it must be for carrying on treatment. A flat, your mum getting better and a LO on the way, I so hope you get the 2013 you deserve smile

scarecrow22 Wed 30-Jan-13 09:16:05

(Forgive bitty posting, keep cancelling on silly iProduct)

Really interested to hear your views on childcare. By instinct I really dislike them, and am particularly suspicious of free market solutions. However I do find some of the problems Liz Truss trying to solve interesting (I'm assuming these claims are true): especially that we have low child care ratios and v low pay for nursery workers compared with much of Europe; and that children from poorer backgrounds suffer most (averages of course) from poor childcare qualifications, related to evidence that even babies under one benefit from being cared for by somebody with a degree.
It make me realise that as DH and I both have degrees, and though our CM doesn't she is in her 50s and so v wise wink, it is too easy for me to dismiss such things. By the high level of literacy and expression on this thread, I'd guess we are all in similar boat - degree is less important than as a lazy indicator of such qualities. Plus obvs we did O'Levels wink
I guess that having a degree/being able to express yourself and think logically should not preclude love and commonsense, but both might help some children? More instinctively for me is the feeling that having seen some pretty appalling "care" by minders (sitting in playground ignoring children all strapped in buggy for half hour and then leaving - presumably so they could say thy took kids to playground - this minority might be weeded out by a bit more training and/or better pay, which I certainly think is hugely desirable. I feel v uncomfortable living in a society which doesn't see childcare and teaching as one/some of the most important jobs and so pay accordingly - ditto nurses. But that's for another day!

Long ramble. Please understand I'm not saying Liz Truss is right, but I feel I should challenge myself to understand why she is trying to do.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 30-Jan-13 10:25:07

V interesting Scarecrow and cycle. Childcare is structurally flawed in uk like lots of other things. I feel stabbed in the gut every time I read about the big arms of the state in Scandinavia countries - there are some v chilled scando mums on the april thread ridiculous something like a year ar full pay for mum and dad somethig like that. Then it's free childcare. How much more chilled would we all feel and how much happier would our kids be?

Not the same issue at all. Need to look at these proposals more carefully to respond more to the point.

Xx

BadMissM Wed 30-Jan-13 11:29:44

Somewhere That's brilliant news on both counts, so happy to hear your Mum is doing better and is such a relief to stop having tooth pain!

scarecrow Maybe degree/learnt wisdom help you to have a wider view of life and expect the most for children? I think if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys on the whole. In France childcare seen as a professional career and respected, unlike here. So it attracts different people. They also use teacher-trainees as 'pions' - sort of classroom/playground assistants, so they are also of high quality, and teacher-trainees getting hands-on (paid) experience at working with kids from the very beginning.

I think also having a better standard of education/aspiration, you also read around what you are doing, look into new thoeries and practice, keep your mind open to new things, rather than stultifying in the year you trained and staying there... It's also about challenging children to the maximum, and expecting great things of them....

Children in poor areas suffer from the 'ghetto school problem'. Poor areas have poor schools/nurseries, attract poor quality of staff, attract poor quality of pupils (as middle-class parents send their kids elsewhere), and this becomes a circular problem... The poorer kids don't have the wherewithal (or the pushier parents needed) to go to school elsewhere...

BadMissM Wed 30-Jan-13 11:30:44

French state-funded and subsidised creches and nurseries offered a brilliant standard of care and qualification.... We need that here.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 30-Jan-13 14:05:36

Btw I sound like victor meldrew. I am not at all
Grumpy today in fact. What is more my dp has just got a job he really likes although he's conflicted about putting his company on hold.

Badmissm more evidence that we've got it wrong over here. My childminder was v intellectually engaged with child care and development despite not having a degree which is why I liked her. She was studying it alongside doing it. Disastrously a personality disorder neighbour complained about the noise and she had to close down! I think she's got
Going again.

Increasing the ratio is typical of this govts market driven approach. It has to drive down quality as no child carer has infinite energy to sustain attachments which is the key thing with under-3s - it's a finite pie. It will lead to more stressed children. The ratios are
A psychological safeguard for
Future generations and shouldn't be treated
Like an MBA exercise in business efficiency.

Still talking without really looking at the story.

Interesting that France is so different I suppose
It is much more socialist
Xx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 30-Jan-13 14:09:15

Ps thanks so much for warm wishes everyone xx

BadMissM Wed 30-Jan-13 17:41:11

somewhere Ooh, he got the job!

I am Victoria Meldrew today, so you can't possibly be.

scarecrow22 Wed 30-Jan-13 19:13:14

Really interesting points on Childcare all around. BadMiss you put it much better than me.

One problem I think - and must read full report - is that Uk does effectively provide big gov subsidy for cc, comparable with other European countries, but seems to get poor value for that in terms of high fees, low wages and quals, etc.. I believe a commission is due to report on this soon (poss led by Claire Perry MP). My money is on part of the problem is the UK - sadly under both recent govs - tries hard to have a small free market state, then to patch up social problems ends up with a hugely complex web of support including vouchers, as hoc tax relief, and so on. If that "cost" to the exchequer was distributed in more open way, it might be less regressive and get better "value" in terms of quality etc.
I still challenge myself though to see the problem Truss is trying to answer - even though I'm troubled in my heart about her "solution"...

Somewhere - the good news keeps giving. Am thrilled thrilled, for you both. Hope e can find ways around his dilemma: we both share view on dreams, but sometimes there is a bit of reality that has to be dealt with short term. I'm sure with your heroic support you'll did a way together.

scarecrow22 Wed 30-Jan-13 19:13:19

Really interesting points on Childcare all around. BadMiss you put it much better than me.

One problem I think - and must read full report - is that Uk does effectively provide big gov subsidy for cc, comparable with other European countries, but seems to get poor value for that in terms of high fees, low wages and quals, etc.. I believe a commission is due to report on this soon (poss led by Claire Perry MP). My money is on part of the problem is the UK - sadly under both recent govs - tries hard to have a small free market state, then to patch up social problems ends up with a hugely complex web of support including vouchers, as hoc tax relief, and so on. If that "cost" to the exchequer was distributed in more open way, it might be less regressive and get better "value" in terms of quality etc.
I still challenge myself though to see the problem Truss is trying to answer - even though I'm troubled in my heart about her "solution"...

Somewhere - the good news keeps giving. Am thrilled thrilled, for you both. Hope e can find ways around his dilemma: we both share view on dreams, but sometimes there is a bit of reality that has to be dealt with short term. I'm sure with your heroic support you'll did a way together.

scarecrow22 Wed 30-Jan-13 19:18:11

My public service for the day:

Link to that gov childcare report in full

https://www.education.gov.uk/publications/standard/publicationDetail/Page1/DFE-00002-2013

X

BadMissM Wed 30-Jan-13 20:34:15

scarecrow It's all the bureaucracy... complicated voucher systems, child tax credit, too many layers. In France just proved income (or lack of) at Town Hall and they told you how much or little you paid. Change in income...take it to the Town Hall, adjusted straight away. I think it's poor economics to sub-contract all these private companies with variable standards of staffing and qualifications, taking an enormous cut of the money..... Would be much better used in direct funding for decent state-underwritten childcare. Private enterprise never adequate substitute for services that should be state-run.

Truss' 'solution' will only profit these private companies further. None of the savings will be passed on to parents, just into the pockets of childcare corporations...

Rant over!

somewherebecomingrain Wed 30-Jan-13 21:36:29

Scarecrow well summed up. I did some work on a study that the govt flooded poorer areas with subsidised childcare to encourage women back to work but these women they were targetting just wouldn't take it because it was still too expensive and also other reasons eg cultural. so just a waste of money empty nurseries. That would fit the idea you both raise that just too complex over here and govt trying to use it in convoluted ways to get social outcomes.

Bad miss France less bureaucratic than the uk? That does surprise me, having lived there for a year. There is no mercy in French bureaucracy it's a machine u gotta get it right first time. But childcare values and practice sounds way better

Xx

eagleray Thu 31-Jan-13 08:19:13

Morning - quick hello from me - promise to try and catch up soon. - we got home from hosp yesterday pm after hideous feeding probs. baby Eagleray then proceeded to act like she knew how to do it all along and now won't stop.

She also says she would like to stay but can I bloody hurry up and give her a name. Have uploaded a pic for you

Waves to all - will speak to you all properly soon - right now getting to the loo is an achievement xx

Ps - birth story is probably not something to be retold here - good job sleep deprivation helps to block memories of it confused

lotsofcheese Thu 31-Jan-13 08:47:51

Congrats Eagle!!! Had been thinking of you over the last wee while & so glad to hear your wonderful news!! Looking forward to hearing the name :-)

I'm not the best at updating on this thread of late, life is manic & will be for the next month, whilst I have a major project to deliver at work, DS's school entry deferral application & lots of extra ante-natal checks. I'm 25 weeks tomorrow, BP is still low so far, but I'm on weekly checks in case PE strikes again.

So a big hello to everyone, I'll try to be better at updating!

BadMissM Thu 31-Jan-13 12:37:35

somewhere Not in general....in France you normally need every piece of paperwork you have ever possessed to buy a bus pass! But the childcare was surprisingly easy...just payslips at the town hall....

Eagle waves to Eagle and Baby Eagle! Any advance on the name?

lotsofcheese lovely to see you!!!

As for me.... all hell has broken loose and am being referred left right and centre after nothing happening for weeks.... diabetes nurse tomorrow, pregnancy physio on Wednesday, Wednesday after...Mental Health Midwife, Diabetes Consultant/Dietician/Nurse and Consultant Obstetrician.

Saw MW Tuesday....my stupid midwife told me to make appt for Tuesday, then got there and she was on holiday. Was instead a seconded midwife from Blackpool, who seemed horrified I hadn't had tests and information, gave me the blood test for Downs that I was told previously didn't exist, and I think she's kicked people re: referrals...so not all bad.

Urgh, have to take DD to Orthopaedic specialist about car crash she was in last year...not that bad, but 140 mile round trip to one insurance company have chosen... Have had to persuade friend to take us as DH at work...

somewherebecomingrain Thu 31-Jan-13 13:39:45

thanks god for that Badmissm that's brilliant. consultant obstetrician should line you up for an ELCS if you want one.

yes - that sounds more like the France i know.

eagle where's the pic? take your time hon. how are you sleeping? i hope you are getting some sleep. glad the BF has worked out - it's nice.

cheese good news about BP - nice to see you drop in

btw just wanted to offer advice on fatigue - knicky badmiss and other sufferers are you taking supplements? i say this because i've been in a semi-comatose state owing to fatigue but for about a week i've been rotating floradix, spatone and pregnacare. sometimes mixing half floradix half spatone.
also eating tonnes of marmite, broccoli and brown rice for folic acid as that also helps metabolise iron. as well as necking oj with my spatone.

anyway i had a strange sensation yesterday of not feeling particularly tired and not feeling like i couldn't go up the stairs and not feeling like i was about to pass out and not feeling like my stomach was too small for the baby. it was so strange and i wondered if this was how those bloomers, those women who like being pregnant, feel everyday. those women who go 'yes i didn't feel particularly different when i was pregnant, i forgot i was pregnant quite often, it wasn't a big deal' - how THOSE women feel.

anyway just thought i'd pass that on. have to say it still comes and goes - another variable might be the baby developing different parts of itself - i'm sure there are 'brain' days when my brain is literally just collapsing cause the baby is taking all the brain nutrients.

but anyway do feel a bit better so try supplements.

xxx

lotsofcheese Thu 31-Jan-13 14:18:43

Badmiss: glad you're getting some support & proper care now.

Fwiw, I work in a diabetes obstetric clinic & would be gobsmacked if you ended up having anything other than a CS. Women with GDM aren't allowed to get past 40 weeks (38 if on insulin) & it's not advisable to be induced having already had a previous CS (due to risk of uterine rupture). So that's why there's about a 50% CS rate in diabetes. So I'm pretty sure you'll get your section....

eagleray Thu 31-Jan-13 17:11:19

Sorry - pic should now be available. After all that, turns out feeding problems are much worse than originally thought as she has lost way too much weight (possibly due to tongue tie). We are now on emergency measures to prevent readmission to hosp. Have also cancelled all visitors as just feeling too rough to deal with much (these last few days have been no fun at all).

No time to even think about naming her at the moment, although if my mum asks one more time, I will say we are calling her Peter.

Sorry for not being more cheery - just feeling a bit very disconnected from everything and the poor baby is just so lovely but I just don't feel I can do much for her any more. At least I am at home now (nearly ended up with a psychiatric assessment as was so distressed in hospital). Funnily enough, we had no real help with feeding issues when we were there (too many people advising different things) so am still glad we left despite there being problems.

sad

cyclecamper Thu 31-Jan-13 17:20:40

Oh eagle that sounds tough sad. I hope she gets the hang of feeding soon. My sister's second took ages to regain weight and everyone panicked, but once she got going (at about 4 months I think!) she was away. Don't worry about the name, it'll come! Best wishes.

somewherebecomingrain Thu 31-Jan-13 17:37:47

oh my god eagle she's absolutely beautiful!!!!! Well done honey!

I totally understand the distress in hospital - have been there - it's so disorientating and it could be designed to destabilise women when they are at their most vulnerable.

Then baby not putting on weight. Luckily as I gather it is one of those resolvable things and everything will definitely be ok but extremely extremely upsetting and stressful.

You've got a beautiful baby and it will get better. Little Peter/Petra - she's gorgeous!

xxx

MrsWooster Thu 31-Jan-13 20:36:16

Courage,*Eagle*... It sounds like my story, down to the extreme distress... but it DID pass and now seems like a distant time and ds is a HUGE gorgeous feller. We also didn't name him for almost 6 weeks and that ended up ok too! Trust your instincts, hunker down and if people don't approve, tell them to fuck off, with all of our compliments.

cyclecamper Thu 31-Jan-13 20:57:12

eagle - mrswooster is talking sense. Anyway, looking at the picture - what a lovely baby! She looks properly finished - she's thriving in that photo smile.

knickyknocks Fri 01-Feb-13 08:44:03

Well said MrsW!

eagle she's an absolute beauty. The beginning is so so hard particularly after a traumatic birth. Will cross fingers that it is tongue tie, as it's easily fixable. Hang in there honey, things really will get better, but sometimes the start of it all can feel so bleak especially when physically you're so tired. Accept any offers of help you can. Huge hugs to you and the little one xxx

somewhere yes, on some supplements - been taking pregnacare but going to give spatone a go too. And as for your strange sensation - yes I've only had a few of those, but they're amazing when they happen! You're right it must be what it's like all the time for those who enjoy pregnancy. PS fab fab fab about your DH getting the job! Huge congratulations to him.

I'm still not enjoying my pregnancy journey. Burst into tears when I got home last night. I'm truly physically exhausted. Getting up at 6 four days a week and taking DD to nursery at 7.10am is knackering - full day of work, then collecting her again, bath and bed routine. DH is around sporadically, depending on his shifts. 2 weeks today and I can relax and I'll be bloody glad to get there. My mid-back is incredibly painful. Spoke to the midwife yesterday who thinks it's ligament pain and I'm apt to agree. I could do with a good old back massage.

I think my tears were also due to me feeling that I'm not getting much physical affection from DH at the mo, at the best of times we're like ships in the night sad, but right now, I'm going to bed at 8pm even when he is at home as I'm just too tired. I told him how I felt last night and we had a cuddle, but, and this may be hormones speaking, I'm feeling a bit distant from him at the mo - at a time when I just feel I could do with his support. Sorry ladies not to be more upbeat today. I think it was scarecrow who so rightly said that marriage can be an incredibly lonely business at times....

sparklysapphire Fri 01-Feb-13 13:35:43

just popping in quickly

eagleray, congratulations on your daughter - we too took almost 6 weeks to name ours as we couldn't agree - I hope the feeding problems/weight loss are resolved very soon and you'll be able to relax (a bit) and enjoy her properly.

MissM, I'm very pleased to see you're finally being taken seriously and now have lots of appropriate referrals.

knicky the next two weeks must seem extremely long, and no wonder you're exhausted, hoping you feel better in all ways soon.

BadMissM Fri 01-Feb-13 15:07:34

Somewhere Have been taking Pregnacare all along, and omega-3 fish oils capsules. Have cracked finally today and bought some Floradix...will see how it goes! Love Marmite and broccoli, and have been put on brown rice since the pg diabetes stuff!

lotsofcheese Thanks....I'm hoping I get taken a bit more seriously now when I repeat the demand for the CS. Been to see diabetic nurse again today, and in clinic in 2 weeks...

Eagle sorry to hear you're feeling disconnected...and having problems.... it does get easier with time, and also when you haven't got a million people telling you different things....

I was that bad in hospital with DD, which is why I am trying to plan as much as possible so I don't get like it again...

Just tell everyone with a perfectly straight face that you're calling her Bob.

If we have a boy, so far we have no names except DH's odd choice of Beowulf...

Knicky I think men often move away from you at the very moments in pg when you need them most. Remember when pg with DD, ex-H was really distant...Sometimes you're never so lonely as when you're in a couple....many hugs, and maybe just talk to him about how you're feeling (had this conversation with DH a few weeks ago)...

Sparkly It's a relief... just to be listened to...

scarecrow22 Sat 02-Feb-13 08:45:06

eagle sending v UnMumsnetty hugs. Lots of wise advice from other mummies. I second third and fourth the bits about sending people away until you are ready, asking for all help in world and not letting MWs etc guilt you. If babyEagle is suckling and burping and sleeping she is getting what she needs. My DD also dropped max allowed weight after I lost 2lit blood in birth and spent 2-3 days on morphine (wow it's good wink) - luckily they were reassuring and though they came to visit more often were v supportive.
Also you must never ever feel guilty about not coping. You are full of wild hormones, exhausted, daunted and traumatised. Take each feed, each shower, each cup if tea or phone call one at a time and gradually life will start adjusting slowly but surely back into place.
Remember, no baby conceived in such a beautiful story cannot be blessed.
<more hugs>

scarecrow22 Sat 02-Feb-13 08:55:23

DH is home!!!!! DD ran across airport to fling herself at him, and now follows him everywhere and wants him to do everything (tee hee). He has drunk and smoked (hmm) so much he is in a state but I have robustly told him there are no words in English or Afrikaans to describe my lack of sympathy and stayed in bed smile

Somewhere & Bad Miss - immed after this am going to buy brown rice, broccoli, Marmite, Floradix and Spatine and eat it all for brunch. Think my body packed in in last 24 hours -cold has gone to chest and breathing sore and feel like somebody has drained all my blood away. Still DH is back grin

Knicky sorry you feel so pants. You poor hon. I feel humbled by your long working day and you obvs have DH around even less. Is there any reason you can't either stop work a week earlier or take a day off each week - apart from your sense of duty? It really sounds like you need to. Can you talk to a line manager? If not, keep heart, we are all here for you and put your orders in for the lounge, where the sofas are designed to alleviate all pain so it is like floating on clouds with calorie-free cheese cake.

Sparkly & Cheese - lovely to hear from you both. Come and join us in said lounge more often x

somewherebecomingrain Sat 02-Feb-13 11:20:32

knicky I really feel for you - I'm so lucky not working full time. I think all DH's or maybe just many feel a bit put out by pregnancy. I hope you can talk to him. In general this is a very difficult stage for all families - as much as you want it having two young children is stressful and a bit of grrrrrr and arrrrrgh and 'greyness' gets into the parental relationship. You should've heard me and dp this morning.

scarecrow so pleased Dh is back absence and all that! Deeply gratified you are taking my advice.

AFM moving house today. Sis was supposed to help but her son up all night with the runs and she had massive single mum meltdown on me so awful I wept with her. To be fair it's her first ever in 5 years she's super but terrible timing. Now dp doing move alone while I babysit the cousins and I'm babysitting cousins while sis sleeps.

Feel I have let down dp.

somewherebecomingrain Sat 02-Feb-13 13:33:39

Moving day live feed - niece is having spectacular raging tantrum. Banging her fists and chubby feet on the floor - most classic tantrum I've ever seen. She is 2.5 so all very reassuringly developmentally appropriate. Trying to calm her down. Sis off helping DP. Ds and dn watching their fourth or fifth hour of telly as too chicken/lazy to take all three to park. What a day.

knickyknocks Sat 02-Feb-13 13:42:23

Thank you all for your lovely posts. I feel better today, but DH still being distant. Have asked him if he's OK, and he just replies moodily that he's tired - I do wonder how he's going to cope with two - more's to the point, his rest days coincided with DD's days at pre-school this week, so not only did he lie in for a couple of days, he also had both days to himself. That sounds like luxury to me right now, so my sympathy for his tiredness doesn't extend too far.......

Right enough of me, lovely to catch up on everyone else's news.

badmissm so glad they're starting to take you seriously now. You truly have had a dreadful time.
scarecrow the thought of your DD running to meet your DH is just lovely and heartwarming. As you say, it's wonderful to have him back not least because it's an extra pair of hands when it comes to DD (though she sounds adorable).
I've only got 7 and a half days left of work and although so tempting to leave earlier, I'm going to try and plough on. My last week is 3 and a half days and I'm not planning on pushing myself that week.....
somewhere I know you feel like that you've let down DP - but you had no alternative, and in any case I was concerned about you doing too much at this stage. Think you would pay the price tomorrow however light the boxes you were moving were. Maybe buy DP a huge slap up take away later for all his efforts? Hope the move is going well, and that by early evening you're in your new abode.

scarecrow22 Sat 02-Feb-13 14:00:33

Somewhere -loving live blog. Glad I'm not the only one who finds their little toddler tantrums a mix of cute and funny - but I try to keep a straight face as think laughing might wind up more (chuckling a teeny bit allowed wink). There is just something so sweet about minding Ssssoooo much about something usually so petty, and the idea they have so little sense of their own scale that they will take on the Whole World. Bless DN. and bless the cathode ray tube.

Knicky, can't add much to wise advice re DP. My trials w DH last time well documented. They need a childish amount of reassurance though. I fear it is not inusual, but def deeply unhelpful at such xn important time. X

BadMissM Sat 02-Feb-13 15:01:10

Scarecrow My grandparents lived in SA... but have forgotten the (mainly rude) words I ever knew in Afrikaans!

I went and bought some Floradix yesterday, and this morning DD and I attacked the mess of a front garden, fixed the fence, and put the plants that were too big for our pots into the beds....so the house looks much better. So the Floradix must be doing some good, because I've been looking at it for weeks!

somewhere Sounds like you too have the moving day curse...everyone who was supposed to help us went down with Novovirus the day before... My DH ended up moving pretty much everything... There's not much you can do anyway, I felt like a spare part all day, but in the end diod things like make the tea and food for anyone who could help...

Knicky Thanks xxx I know it's hard when DH/DPs feel hard done by when they actually have the luxury of rest and thinking time...DH is complaining constantly of tiredness even though I do most things in the house. Makes me wonder how he'll get on when LO arrives too....

Scarecrow That 'childish amount of reassurance' comment says it all...because we're not apprehensive, nervous, or plain terrified ourselves, are we? :-)

So, apart from my fit of gardening this morning.... I was a bad girl yesterday, and bought a buggy. Though it was from Boots half-price online sale... It's a Maclaren Quest, but with all the accessories too, so am pretty happy. Although my bank manager won't be....

scarecrow22 Sun 03-Feb-13 19:45:46

Knicky and I think all of us... There seem to be v high proportion of crap worried OHs among us. (My DH come back from his two weeks away in awful state - anxious, smoking, hardly talking, not coping hmm) Is this abnormally high or normal? Wonder if we have OHs who have left it too long to face their responsibilities? Either by chance or reflecting their reluctance (we are all pg in our 40s for quite diff reasons it seems)
I'm cheering myself with thought that it is practice for having two small children in the house wink

BadMissM Sun 03-Feb-13 20:01:15

Mine seems terrified, both of something happening to me, and the possibility of fatherhood at 48. He has been through it all twice, but his youngest is 16. He is terrified of failing somehow, being the oldest dad in the playground (lots of his contemporaries are grandparents now), and just messing up in general. I wonder if it's whether, being older, they are more aware of what is really to come?

scarecrow22 Sun 03-Feb-13 20:19:09

BadMiss wise, and more generous, thoughts. Makes your OH sound rather lovely

cyclecamper Sun 03-Feb-13 20:53:09

BadMissM Mine is also 48 with his youngest being 16 (with aspergers). He is very anxious, especially since my stepson has been extremely hard work at every stage (didn't sleep through till 8 or 9 for example). I don't think he is so much worried about being the oldest dad, more of being ill (he is very asthmatic, and currently has a chest infection) and of being stuck in London. He really hates London, and keeps having one more thing that has to happen before we can move to Yorkshire. First it was the 22 year old finishing college, then uni and I think part of the worry is that the 16 year old needs to do something, but if he starts a course, we are trapped here until it has finished. It doesn't help that he doesn't like his job and now feels trapped in that too sad.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 04-Feb-13 00:21:33

God it never ends. We are half moved - with all that entails - life in boxes - when my mil has a fall, a faint and a fit and has to be rushed to hospital. She makes full recovery but now has a very painful knee and may need care ie someone to get her out of bed and up and down stairs. We are half moved! Dp starting new demanding job fri. Dp has sister but she's worse than useless his mum doesn't even want her to know.

Scarecrow - interesting hypothesis re facing up to responsibilities. My dp has certainly struggled to do do. Now he is doing it we are struck by wave after wave of extra Stuff. I feel so sorry for him. But if we had more stability these things wouldn't kybosh us so I guess.

I'm going to make stability my priority after the baby and I go back to work but right now I need him to provide it. I suppose I've got to work effing hard to make his life as easy as possible.

Badmiss your dp/Dh sounds so sweet. Wow that's tough re the sleeping.

Xxx

MicheK Mon 04-Feb-13 07:16:21

Silly question/advice/shared experience ?? Where to start ... scared to write this down :*-)

Firstly, I'm 45 ... and never had children ... My husband and I just haven't been successful (unprotected for 18 years) ... we never wanted to go down the chemical/assisted route ... but had the attitude that if it happens great ... if not, sad but, we have each other.
My periods have always been as clockwork almost to the hour ... except for now (7days late). I'm not sure if this is the start of menopause (I've been having night sweats) or whether its what I'm frightened to write down/talk about. I'm feeling 'odd' ... very bloated and not exactly sick but feel as though I have a lump in my throat which occasionally gives me a feeling of nausea ... I have no other symptoms.
What do you think early stages of pregnancy (there I've said it) or not. Take a pregnancy test or leave it a week or two?

Apologies for the waffle ... Just looking for some advice from others who've been there ... not at the stage where I'm brave enough to talk out loud to hubby, girlfriends or family

somewherebecomingrain Mon 04-Feb-13 08:39:54

Hi there MickeK only a test can tell you but if it is a BFP there are lots of older women on here who are in touch with the shock factor of pregnancy.

You could also ask the fab forties TTC thread in conception - they're really in touch with this heart in mouth in between moment.

Sorry to be so moany in last post. It all looks better in the morning.

Xxxx

scarecrow22 Mon 04-Feb-13 09:56:41

MicheK - it is not uncommon to mix up pregnancy and menopause- I did myself at 39 with 1st DC. But totally get why it is so lump in throat - two equally dramatic but opposite outcomes. I would maybe do test as it will play on your mind (surely?) every minute/hour. As long as you 7+ days o/due - otherwise not so reliable; 10+ days even better.
We are all here for virtual hand holding, as I'm sure will the 40+ TTC thread. They might also have better advice than me.
Thinking of you lots.

scarecrow22 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:04:11

Somewhere - not moany, descriptive! Poor you and DP. Hope you can have a hug and maybe not laugh as mil horrid scare, but at least share a rueful grin and sigh! Hope things looking up today in your lovely light (your!) flat.

Btw I totally jinxed myself the day I mentioned how fast ths pg going: since then time has slowed to an otherworldly doped crawl. Complete with some v blush complications right now! To think I once thought if DH wouldn't have any more DCs I would offer to be a surrogate bec last pregnancy so easy shock (sorry if that offends anybody, it was out of a strong desire to help other women enjoy the wonder of a DC). (My only concern was whether I could give up baby?)

BadMissM Mon 04-Feb-13 13:04:54

Scarecrow My DH is lovely, but believe me I had to kiss lots of frogs (and even marry one) before I met him! He is an absolute sweetie. My entire family haven't spoken to me since we got together though. I haven't even told my parents I'm pregnant.

Cyclecamper As DD is 14, I was hoping in a couple of years when she goes to uni to move back down south or even back to France...now everything's changed... I think you always worry, and it gets worse as you get older. The fact is, his autistic child was with his ex, I guess, so not neccessarily going to happen with you.

You can also put obstacles in your own way. My parents have been 'going to leave London' for the last 30 years. They keep adding 'just....' to their list, and now at 80 and 79, doubt they ever will. I left London maybe not in a way with lots of forethought, but it's all worked out...sometimes you just have to take a chance.

Somewhere Oh goodness, your luck sounds like mine. thanks I know what that feels like, I couldn't even find a saucepan for about a week...
Maybe a time to call in emergency favours from everyone you know? I literally put out an emergency call on Facebook when we got let down, and some surprising people who I wouldn't have though of came and helped...even an hour here and an hour there gets it done... smile

Stabilty? (hollow laugh) We lurch from one crisis to the next...not helped by the fact that I'm the major wage-earner, and because of Tribunal/Disability/Pregnancy, I haven't been able to work for over two years. Poor DH only a postman, physically demanding and badly paid, and his ex takes a fortune even though she doesn't need it.... I try to make his life as easy as possible, as he gets so stressed....

We all need a good moan sometimes!

MicheK I'm 45, with a child of 14.... I thought this was the menopause too....
Do the test. It's the only way to be sure. If you're really nervous, maybe ask the GP to do the test? We're all here if you want to talk more xxx

Scarecrow I even considered being a surrogate for 2 gay friends, because pg with DD was easy (until the birth). It was just because I knew how much they wanted a child, and because I so enjoyed being pg. Pg with DD flew by.... This one going at a snail's pace!

Sorry for the monster post.

Me...still plodding on. Really cross as DD's friend was over yesterday...They went swimming, came back... We had to go out, leaving DD and friend in the house watching a film. Came home to find DD in tears. Friend had left 1/2 an hour after we had. DD's new phone disappeared at the same time. Had seen phone when they came back from swimming. DD was asking friend not to fiddle with it, and put it under sofa cushion.....

We stripped the living room and dining room....nothing. Only thing that had happened between us going out and coming back was friend leaving. DD admitted friend had been in living room by herself while she went to loo...

Poor DD bought this phone herself, she saved up for it, she's only had it a month. I can't afford to replace it for her. Rang friend's parents (v awkward as as they are our friends). Asked nicely if she 'may have picked it up by accident'? They searched her room and her bag, no sign (she's done this stuff before....). I think she's taken it to friends or thrown it in the bin. This all spite as her own mother confiscated her phone.

Poor DD distraught, and I can't make it better for her. She was so happy to have a phone. Worse still, have to go and confront the mother today, which is probably the end of a lovely friendship. This is all I need... sad

BadMissM Mon 04-Feb-13 18:16:04

Now have two friends less in this crappy town, that leaves me with 4. DH's ex made sure most people don't speak to me, now this has meant I have even less. Am getting to the point where I hate living here so much, but we can't afford to move anywhere else.

Went to confront DD's friend ,A, about the missing phone. Didn't even get to ask her a question, like, well, what do you think happened to the phone? Her mother (my now former friend) said 'How dare you come and accuse my daughter, there is no question that she did it' the minute I walked through the door. I think she jumped because people have accused A, her daughter, of this before.... Then she basically told me to get out of her house. I tried to explain that just before leaving I had seen DD take phone from A and ask her not to play with it. Only thing that happened before we got back was A leaving.

She wouldn't tell me when A got home. I think A will have hidden the phone at another friend's house until the heat dies down, and that she did this on the way between our house and home in case she got searched.... DD also let slip tonight she had had to change the code to her phone twice before because A watched her then learned it....

Now DD will get into enormous trouble at my parents next week about phone, as they gave her most of the money to buy it for Christmas. Bearing in mind my Dad only recently stopped going on about the theft of my bike in 1987...she will have a horrible time. None of this is her fault.

All this has left both me and DD in tears....

somewherebecomingrain Mon 04-Feb-13 18:33:05

badmiss so sorry to hear it. You are without doubt better off without them. Although no fun to have the row and make the seperation theres no place for thieves in your life. Sorry for your dd she sounds so sweet and deserving of her phone. How gutting.

I heard today that this nice mum I know who's son is friends (ish) with mine and who we were having a play date with this week (I had to cancel) has fallen down the stairs and broken her leg in three places. Her husband was in a total state. I feel very sorry for them
But at the same time secretly relieved I'm not the only person in RL going through ridiculous dramas.

Xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 04-Feb-13 18:37:26

Scarecrow is it your fanny? I might need to start a thread on mine but will
Change my name. Hope nothing serious from your emoticon sounds more carry on vibe.

Surrogacy - not offended just baffled! Having said that I'm just starting to enjoy this pregnancy - getting that third trimester mellowness I had last time also suddenly energy and feel I'm achieving things. And of course dp's now earning shortly. but still doubt I'd do it
Again for ANY MONEY. Would find another
Way to help others. But admire you.

Xxx

Xxx

cyclecamper Mon 04-Feb-13 18:57:11

BadMissM your poor DD, that's rotten. I remember things like that from when I was a teenager sad. I suppose that at least the baby will give you a chance to make some friends who don't have bitchy teenage girls (yet).hmm

MicheK I thought this pregnancy was the menopause until I was about 16 weeks and the dr insisted that I did a pregnancy test before I had the blood test for the menopause blush. Since my Husband had a vasectomy 15 years ago, I fully expected the test to be negative.

Somewhere I hope things are calming down for you. It all seems a bit too eventful!

scarecrow22 Mon 04-Feb-13 21:38:42

Ooh Eagle update alert on mummies/grads thread.

Somewhere biscuit! Also surrogacy idea was before this pg. very much so! I'd consider donor thing but figure I'm too old? Anyway, it's a way away.

BadMiss - sorry for DD. Poor lamb. And poor you. Sound like children never stop tugging at heart-strings.

BadMissM Mon 04-Feb-13 22:11:46

Great. The day couldn't get any worse, could it. After the hell with DD's friend, then the surgery messing up my prescription yet agin (for the diabetic stuff have already run out of because they messed it up last week and took 4 days to deliver it...). Now the arsing YouView box has broken AGAIN. So, an hour on the phone to someone in India who couldn't understan I might be miffed (second breakdown in less than 40 days), and we now have no TV until Wednesday....

eagleray Mon 04-Feb-13 22:57:49

Hello everyone - sorry I meant to post on here earlier today as had some spare minutes/seconds but then I was occupied again.

Oh god Baby Eagle is kicking off again (she is currently Moby'd to me and has started thrashing her arms around so I will have to go and feed her).

Will definitely update tomorrow and say hello to you all. Feeling a bit better now - things are still hard but each day it gets a little easier.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 05-Feb-13 10:18:20

Hey all. Badmiss I know all about the badly trained Indian call
Centres. There are brilliant Indian caLl
Centres as we all
Know India is where it's at but of you get a bad one it's like they're running a paychology experiment in how to wind people up.

Where is new forty Plus mum thread? Xxx

BadMissM Tue 05-Feb-13 11:51:59

cyclecamper DD devastated, A has been her friend since we moved up here 8 years ago, along with her sister. Sister is lovely, but can't be friends with her without A. DD went to 2 primaries then secondary with A, but she's caused problems all along. Will miss her mother as a friend though.....

Just hope baby will allow me to meet people, because my 'social circle' between DH's ex and work problems is non-existent.

Scarecrow DD devastated, she waited months to get this phone.... and she's too nice to confront A, so I had to do it...

Eagle Waves to eagle and baby Eaglet!!!

somewhere The one run by TalkTalk means you go aorund in circles for hours and still get nowhere. After all that, damn thing is working this morning!

cyclecamper Tue 05-Feb-13 13:05:38

BadMissM That all sounds like a nightmare situation. I can't imagine living in the same area as my husband's ex - there are enough people in the country already who don't contact my husband anymore because we 'stopped her seeing the boys'. The fact that we collected the autistic boy from the police station after her partner called the police and the older lad had already been banned from her house by her partner doesn't, apparently, stop it being our fault that the boys don't want anything to do with her. I hope your DD is able to make some other, decent, friends. By the time I left school I only really had 2 friends, but they were 'proper' friends who I am still in contact with. Sometimes girls do grow up though, so maybe A will get a clue at some point. At least your box thing is working this morning (spot my technical understanding! - we don't actually have a tv so my comprehension of such things is sketchy at bestgrin)

knickyknocks Tue 05-Feb-13 15:14:35

badmissm what a horrible situation for you and your DD. Her so called friend sounds like absolute lowlife but understand your sadness at losing a friend too. There is one thing for sure though - having a baby always encourages you making new friends - just make sure you get involved with something like a baby group or maybe baby massage - do you have a surestart centre near you? They usually have lots of different groups so you might be able to find one which you like - otherwise my local library do a rhymetime which is free every week for under 3's - found with my DD it offered another opportunity to meet local mums.
somewhere I cannot believe your luck! Flipping heck.....that absolutely has to be it for now doesn't it?? Did you eventually get into your new pad? BTW the 40 plus thread for post natal times is in the parenting section in talk. I haven't ventured over there yet, waiting for D day first......
eagle lovely to hear from you. Be lovely to get an update if you get a chance.
cycle life sounds very frustrating for you and DP with the obstacles that need to be completed before making a big move to Yorkshire - do you have family up that way?
scarecrow wow - surrogacy? In many ways I feel like I wished when I was younger that I donated eggs as I know too many ladies who have been through the IVF process. I don't think I could have been a surrogate - not sure like you and your doubts as to whether I could have actually coped giving baby away at the end (but also TBH knowing what I know now about how flaming awful I am at this pregnancy business there is NO way I could have done it).
micheK are you still there? Did you do a test? We're here to provide virtual hand holding if needed.

AFM - am fine, a slightly ridiculous situation at work where there's been a major burst pipe which supplies us so we're being requested to conserve our water - errr...I'm 34 and a half weeks pregnant, there's no way that I can stop how many times an hour I need the loo at the moment......

Me and DH are better, he was in a far better mood once he'd slept, though it still makes me wonder how he'll deal with two, but I strongly suspect the bulk of the childcare will rest with me.

Must start thinking about packing my hospital bag soon - that makes it all feel terribly real (as if the morning sickness, SPD and enormous bump wasn't enough of a clue...grin) - blimey it's getting closer isn't it?!

eagleray Tue 05-Feb-13 16:14:49

Hi - back again, in a very narrow window of opportunity before next feeding cycle begins...

Baby Eagle is 8 days old now, and things are starting to get a little bit better. She had her tongue tie cut last friday, and is now feeding much better; however, my milk supply is still a bit shaky and so we are having to do lots of expressing and formula feeds as well, so it's all feeling a bit punishing. Also feel a bit like I have flu - just generally achey and tired and not capable of much!

DP is mainly helpful, but does lapse into the most horrendously selfish moments as well - he has just complained to me that he hasn't been able to go out on a bike ride so far today (he did one yesterday) so I had to point out to him that while there were 3 loads of washing needing to be done, plus tidying up and rubbish to put out, that that could be his fucking exercise. I have had 3 hours of sleep the last 2 nights and no opportunity whatsoever for daytime sleeping as the feeding takes forever.

I hope you are all doing ok - will try and catch up on the last couple of weeks of postings later this eve. x

somewherebecomingrain Tue 05-Feb-13 18:03:56

We've moved. So knackered.

Eagle amidst your stress you make me chortle.

Knicky SO pleased dp pulled self together.

Badmiss didn't realise such a long friendship. As such im sure they will patch it up. Whether they should is another question. Poor you.

Xxx

scarecrow22 Tue 05-Feb-13 19:52:55

Somewhere - hurray! So pleased. Let yourself celebrate with a glass of grape juice? One of five a day?

Knicky - glad DP better. Mine now in a panicked flump. But he's a great dad (to my mind the best combo with me) so am trying to be supportive and wait it out. Funnily having problems last time meant DH had to hold DD for first hours, then do all holding, changing etc for 2 days or so (I fed lying down) - personally think it made us as a parenting couple as I am a bit very inclined to having, er, opinions about how things should be done. Even now I make a point of never changing her outfit when he dresses her (though this sometimes requires heroic restraint wink)

To make you laugh here are a couple of the worst DP comments friends have share recently. One DH told his wife her asthmas was worse for him than her "because I have to listen to you coughing". And my (lovely) BIL once admitted to my sister he felt she "basically should so the housework and childcare because that's a woman's role in the family". To his credit he was a bit embarrassed to admit it. There are no emoticons for such comments.

DD an now ring me evenings before bedtime (cue hushed endearments in corridor at work!) - v sweet but also painful. To ight she was being all mischievous and told me her "meow-meow" (her word for all cats) was called "woo-woo" (her noise and name for all dogs); doesn't really work written down, but I loved her little attempt at humour smilesmilesmile

Waves all

MrsWooster Tue 05-Feb-13 19:56:57

Hi Eagle, when my supply was shite, the doc gave me Domperidone, a travel sickness drug(!) which really helped lactaction and we carried on pretty much ok from then. Also tried fenugreek, which might have helped a bit but makes you smell of curry and maple syrup. Now I like both those things, but it's not a great perfume...

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 09:34:13

eagle ahhh...yes...those days of DP moaning that he hasn't had any 'me' time - yes, I'll have those coming to me too in a couple of months time, loved your response to your DP though. There were days in the very beginning with DD that me even having a shower and a hairwash was a bloody luxury. 3 hours in 2 nights? That's such hard work, it does get better - but in the meantime feel free to rant.....motherhood for newborns can be one of the toughest jobs in the world. And poor you about not feeling well - keep an eye on that - it may be the startings of mastitis - that can make you feel incredibly rough. Hugs and sympathy
scarecrow got to say you sound like me when it comes to your DP - I succombed and did change what DD was wearing on a couple of occasions when DH had dressed her (on more than one occasion he put tights on DD with no skirt/shorts?? WTF? He thought they were leggings.....) I wasn't able to restrain myself at the time and changed her and we ended up having a row. Now, I mostly restrain my opinions grin.
Oh the phone calls are so sweet with DD - with our DD being 3 and a bit I can have conversations with her and it really makes my heart just melt, but understand that you just pine to be with them.
somewhere you've moved? Hurrah! Hope you have lots of help unpacking boxes. Must be lovely to be on the other side of the move now though.

scarecrow22 Wed 06-Feb-13 10:23:18

DH usually tucks DD's trousers into her socks. Perhaps because he cycles everywhere. But, really???? It's funny how quickly they untuck when he leaves the room. Occasionally I have very accidentally on purpose spilt something over a very offending item, but honestly only a couple of times. Or so....

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 11:56:53

grin grin grin scarecrow ooh never underestimate a woman and her ingenious solutions.....I hadn't even thought about 'spills'......have a feeling that one will be played out in the knickyknocks household soon....grin (seriously tucking trousers into socks?? Definitely the cycling thing surely?! Either way, this has made me smile that it's not only my DH with the fashion faux pas....)

sparklysapphire Wed 06-Feb-13 14:02:08

Hi everyone,

I've just been catching up, it sounds like everyone's been having a hard time.

Eagleray, glad things are getting a little easier, I hope it continues, it's such hard work with a newborn, though completely worth it. Like knicky says, the fluey feelings could be mastitis, it makes you feel really unwell, but can be sorted with antibiotics. I hope it's not though.

Somewhere, the move sounds drawn out and traumatic, but glad you're finally in, and can get some else to deal with the boxes smile.

MissM, what a horrible situation with your DDs phone and her friend (and yours). Maybe at least they'll be able to sort it out eventually, if they've been friends for such a long time?

Knicky you sound heroic for perservering with work, I know you're counting the days, I hope they fly by.

grin at OH's dressing small DCs. When DH is in charge of sorting out clothes for DD, I never change her but do occasionally query the unusual colour combinations, to which he responds he has perfect colour vision. He mainly dresses in black & white so no problems with clashing there!

DH still not talking about the pregnancy, I do wonder if, as someone else says, we, and therefore our OHs are a bit older and therefore are more reluctant to give up their freedoms/me-time. Though he was only 35 when DD was born so not that ancient to become a dad.
However, he has offered to come to the EPU with me tomorrow. After weeks of trying, I finally got the doctors this morning. I had a bit of spotting a couple of nights ago, and that, together with the fact I'm 11 weeks, means I at least get a scan. She also thinks I'm a bit small for my dates, so expecting bad news tomorrow, but up till now I haven't let myself think that I might be actually having a baby as I'm unconvinced that there's one there.

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 15:15:07

sparkly I really hope you're wrong over your expectation of bad news and that the scan offers reassurance that things are OK - very pleased to see that DH is going to the scan even though he's still not speaking about the pregnancy. Tomorrow you'll need him to be there either way and it's right he should be there too. Much love and I'll be thinking of you.

I've just had a moment at my desk where I thought I was going to howl into tears sad. I was all prepared for DH to be working all day this Sunday and Monday, and had mentally started making plans in my head for both those dates. I've just spoken to him and he's been offered tickets to the football on Saturday with a drink beforehand and he's asked 'permission' to go. I found myself agreeing when he said he very rarely does stuff like this when all I wanted to say was 'I'm f**king 35 weeks pregnant, working a full week and now this weekend have to look after DD on my own for 3 whole days....no it's flaming not alright to go.......' Arse. Doesn't he get how hard it is at this stage?? angry fuming and feeling very teary.

knickyknocks Wed 06-Feb-13 16:01:13

35 minutes later and it's sorted. I had was just in the process of texting his mum to see if I could pop over and see her on Saturday (DD loves it at her Nanny's house....) when he rang back to see if I was OK. Read out my text which I was preparing for his mum which said 'DH is off to the football on Saturday, and working all day Sunday and Monday....suddenly the weekend feels very long'. Promptly burst into tears, and he just said quietly that he'd been a thoughtless a***hole, and he would cancel the tickets to the football match.

Relieved it's sorted. I think he is just starting to get how tough things are for us pregnant ladies....relieved he's changed his mind (though my hormones won't let me get away for not feeling some guilt about him having to miss his favourite team playing.....bloody pregnancy hormones.....) So sorry for the Eastender style last two posts. I think that's enough from the Knickyknocks household now....xx

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 17:42:06

cyclecamper It sucks living in the same town as DH's ex... she's everywhere I could possibly want to go, as it's a small town (she drives and I don't), and she does a lot of it on purpose...

It's really because of DD's school, and DH's job and him being able to dee his DCs

Knicky Will have to try and get out and meet some new people...but tbh this town is really chavvy different to places I'm used to, and DH's ex usually makes sure she meets anyone I might like before I do... We were once friends, so she knows what I like and what I might like...

Eagle Lovely to hear you're doing better!

(back in a bit)

somewherebecomingrain Wed 06-Feb-13 18:02:58

Knicky awww a happy ending. I like it when men are sweet. As for being like eastenders bring it on - as long as its not me I think I've had my share for a while! I love a good gasp aloud 'how low can they (men) stoop in terms of not understanding pregnancy' all the more for a happy ending.

Sparkly I so hope it's good news. Crossing fingers - let us know. Good that dp getting involved a bit.

Badmiss so tough being stuck. Trying to think what u can do.

Eagle hope you ok - I remember how little my dp understood it is normal.. Mine made me do all the housework and night feeds and stay up late watching telly with him. He made me much more strung out than I would have been otherwise looking back. I was so bowled over I couldn't advocate or put my foot down.

AFM I'm unpacking, purging (not literally just sending stuff to the dump) and thank god for supplements id be a zombie right now. A lot of pain/strain round back and crotch. But otherwise reasonably ok. Cooking first dinner in new place - roast chicken new potatoes broccoli and bisto, one of my late pg cravings.

Hugs to all

Xxx

scarecrow22 Wed 06-Feb-13 18:18:30

This morning I thought there can be nothing better in this world than holding your 2-year-old's hand while she skips along full if life.
Tonight I'm heading home for first bedtime cuddle in 4 days.
Perfect day?!

More worryingly DD drawing up long list of things she will do with baby...bath it, push it in buggy, and today's addition is taking it to CM with her shock
Though it would make for a v relaxed mat leave wink

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 18:34:00

(Part 2, after dinner!)

somewhere So glad you've actually moved! Think DD might patch it up with the older sister, but probably not A. Gone a step too far this time I think...

scarecrow Know what you mean about clothes...exH used to dress DD in the strangest mixture of clothes...I used to get up early, dress her and put her back to bed dressed to avoid him having the choice after the creche director 'spoke to me' aboout his unusual choices such as wellies in July and Sandals and shorts in January....

My DH lovely and doesn't think women should do all the work (has just cooked me tea to prove it!). DD sounds adorable smile

Mrs W Ooh, does Domperidone do that? (I was on it before pg for nausea caused by other meds...)

Fenugreek...great perfume idea :-)

knicky eagle Ex H was so bad I literally had to take DD in bathroom with me in chair, or have baths at midnight.... He seemed to think he had nothing to do....

This is why he's in France and I now have someone much nicer!

scarecrow DH used to also put on things that were getting too small with things far too big that fell off.... It was the 'gifts' from MIL that sometimes met unfortunate accidents...!

sparkly DD has moved from upset to really cross, think the only way she might consider it now is if phone turned up unharmed with aplogy...it won't

Hope everything goes brilliantly at the EPU tomorrow...you may just have a small baby for now....fingers and toes crossed xxx

Maybe this will all make this a bit more real for DH as well...

knicky Can understand the teariness... many hugs xxx Sometimes just difficult to explain how much you need them when you're not used to doing so as well. But glad it has all sorted itself out now xxx

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 18:35:38

somewhere Have alovely dinner in the new place!

eagleray Wed 06-Feb-13 20:18:32

Feeble update from me - got infection so in bed with antibiotics trying to rest. DP being great - bringing me food on tray, alternated with visits from baby for her feeds. Just wish I could sleep on demand! It is really hard, even when v tired

sparkly good luck with scan

Waves to everyone else - miss you all and hope to be conversing soon

BadMissM Wed 06-Feb-13 20:55:32

Eagle Glad to hear you are being looked after xxx

sparklysapphire Wed 06-Feb-13 23:47:43

Eagle, I'm amazed you managed to update with an infection on top of everything else, lovely that your DP is looking after you so well. Thank you and everyone else for your good wishes for tomorrow. Even though I've felt all along that this pregnancy probably isn't viable, to have it confirmed would be devastating, as there'll be no more TTC after this. I so hope I'm wrong. I'll let you know.

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 11:51:11

sparkly Never give up. Hope everything goes brilliantly for you xxxx

sparklysapphire Thu 07-Feb-13 12:34:44

I've just got back from the EPU, and seen my baby wriggling about on the scan! He/she is the right size for my dates, so my lack of symptoms meant nothing. I felt so rotten (nauseous the whole time, but not sick) til about 11 weeks with DD, I suppose I've just been lucky. I still need to get through screening for Down's though, I really hope it's all fine as that's really a decision I don't want to have to make.
Thank you for your kind wishes, it means a lot.

Eagle, I hope you're feeling a bit better and the antibiotics are doing their job.

scarecrow22 Thu 07-Feb-13 12:56:22

Sparkly. Wonderful happy lovely news. Hope you can enjoy it. Several on this thread (me included) had much more accurate/sensitive test at Feotal Medicine Centre in London for Downs etc. v reassuring after my initial result a but close for comfort. Worth considering if need arises.
For now, hurrah (and you lucky so and so no symptoms!!)

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 12:57:13

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I am so happy for you, Sparkly! I was sick with DD the whole time, but this time, nauseous but not actually sick.

Glad to hear everything is fine. What Downs testing does your PCT do? NT and bloods? Mine only did bloods, which was a bit useless. Glad I went for Harmony Test now....

sparklysapphire Thu 07-Feb-13 13:04:16

Thank you scarecrow & MissM
I know my PCT does NT, presumably bloods as well, but I'm not sure. I have read about the Harmony test on this and other threads, but not sure if we can afford it. Is it worth phoning the Foetal Medicine Centre to enquire, I'm not sure if I may have left it too late for NHS screening?

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 13:13:32

Sparkly I went to FMC too...worth ringing to enquire, they were very sweet with me and mine was over New year plus awkward travel, etc... Talk to them, they were very sweet with me.

I just got the result from the blood test my PCT grudgingly gave me, yesterday. 1 in 15 chance of Downs. My age (45) My BMI (30), DH's age (48), all go against you in the one they use, apparently.

The Harmony test, less than 1 in 10,000 chance of trisomies 13,18, and 21. It was seriously worth the money and the train fares (and we are pretty poor). I am just ignoring the NHS one now....

BadMissM Thu 07-Feb-13 13:16:41

sparkly If you move fast, you might get on at the FMC for their £180.00 for viability scan, Harmony, and Nuchal Scan rate. It has to be before 11 weeks and so many days for first, and 13 weeks and so many days for 2nd...

knickyknocks Thu 07-Feb-13 13:46:48

sparkly just wonderful news thanks. Wow- no symptoms and the little one is just fine smile - I really hope that everything now works out especially with DH. I hope that seeing the picture of the little one today makes him feel more positive about it all.
badmissm that harmony test sounds amazing - so much more detailed than the NHS one. Very reassuring - as you say it was definitely worth that trek into town at new year.

DH will be home tonight and has already promised to treat me to a relaxing evening plus on Saturday to take me and DD out to a restaurant so someone else can do the cooking and washing up. Given our recent tiffs these offers from DH are very gratefully received smile

somewherebecomingrain Thu 07-Feb-13 14:27:16

sparkly fantastic news - so pleased for you.

xxxx

eagleray Fri 08-Feb-13 14:05:20

Sparkly - such fantastic news!!

BadMissM - glad to hear the Harmony test worked out so well for you, especially after all the hassle you had to get there and back.

Somewhere - hurrah for moving into new home! Hope you are happily settled now.

Knicky - wow you are getting close to due date now! Glad to hear your DH is doing what he can to look after you - hope you got your nice relaxing eve last night.

Scarecrow - bless your DD - sounds like there won't be anything left for you to do! Any chance I could borrow her til your baby arrives??

MrsW - thanks for the info re things to help milk supply. I might ask the MW when she visits later about drug assistance as have no idea when/if my supply will be up to speed (and the volume of formula is ever increasing). I already have some Fenugreek - not my favourite tea, but needs must!

CycleCamper - belated congratulations re your job. Hope you are keeping well.

I have had another good night's sleep and managed to do a bit of tidying around the house while the baby sleeps. DP says he knows when I'm feeling well as I start going nuts about the mess around the house...

Going to try and leave the house this afternoon with the baby - plan to drive into town and visit a cafe for a short while. Feels quite scary, but really need to start doing this stuff as will be home alone after the weekend!

PS - after all that incessant cooking and talking about cakes before the birth, I am now off my food! Still eating, but just don't crave anything and find it a bit of a chore. Weight is dropping off nicely - 10kg so far but a looong way to go...

sparklysapphire Fri 08-Feb-13 15:50:53

thanks ladies. Eagle, sounds like you are feeling better, I hope your trip out was successful, and that the m/w can advise on your milk supply.

knicky did you have a lovely relaxing evening as promised? And the restaurant sound like a nice outing, I hope you enjoy it.

I went back to the doctors this morning with my scan results, and have been in touch with the m/w who's going to book me in on Tuesday. Because of my age, they do the scan in the Foetal Medicine unit rather than ordinary ultrasound as they have more detailed scanners there apparently. Although the Dr is concerned about getting the nuchal done in time, the m/w sounded confident that it can be done.
DH is not happy. He came home from work latish last night, we sat in silence for an hour and half and then he went to bed. As he has the problem, he should be the one talking about it, I thought. I very much hope things improve, but at the moment I think the only thing I can do is to just get on with it.

have a lovely weekend everyone.

scarecrow22 Fri 08-Feb-13 21:08:45

Eagle - what a treat to hear you sounding so much improved. You are doing amazingly in the circumstances. I am repeatedly humbled by what mummies will do for their LOs. Use the weekend to plan some help and support for next few weeks. It's so important. And in my experience people love to be asked to help. Beware if you don't we thread-mums will come calling with cake and mops winkwink

Sparkly - sorry about DH. Would you consider visiting Relate. Without wishing to diminish your situation they will almost certainly say you are not the first couple to have such experiences. Even suggesting it might prompt him to open up a bit, or the first session is very much a get-to-know-you, and that could be a catalyst or gentle beginning. Or else a letter? That's my five-yearly crisis point method and both so far have had a very welcome effect. Glad in meantime your maternity hospital sounds so good. One less thing to worry about.

Knicky, hope treats are helping. One week to go!!! Hurrah.

Rubbish week so won't bore you. DD had bad fever last night, hallucinating, and v floppy all morning but Calpol/baby Nurofen starting to work. Doc says throat infection and I have antibiotic prescription in my pocket in case gets worse. Poor lamb. Spent two years dreaming of her snuggling in bed instead of usual bouncy impatient self, then when it happened was all baleful and worrying. Anyway, hopefully on mend. She is a brave one.

Waves to all, and have lovely weekends xx

blueblackdye Sat 09-Feb-13 17:24:42

Just popping to say hello to every one.
BadMiss any news re hearing date ?

iclaudius Sat 09-Feb-13 22:10:46

hello! I have been lurking a while - i am 45 and have a few children - am due with this one in July and am hoping for an early section

have you all seen the directive about women over 40 being induced at 38 weeks?

I too had the harmony - costly at £500 for just test ( no scan) and feel a little 'weird' about the result but a friend who works in genetics recommended it to me and trusts it whole heartedly

I had a baby at 44 and was chilled - less so now

Sparky i too had NO SYMPTOMS at all ...... very odd and although nice it has been unnerving!

iclaudius Sat 09-Feb-13 22:11:38

sorry spark l y

BadMissM Sat 09-Feb-13 23:34:42

Waves to iclaudius! I know, The Harmony results feel odd, but having just had the alternatives, glad I did it now.

bbd Nope, nothing about the hearing date yet...

Spent most of today at the train station, as DD going down to grandparents and father doing fiasco of coming up on one train and down on next just so DH and I don't have to enter their house... But he missed the train and turned up hours late, having left message so garbled with my mother I thought he was on earlier train...

Having decided that as they don't talk to me on the phone (they only want to talk to DD), I decided that this was my chance to tell them in person, so I finally told my father that I'm pregnant. He then told me that I was a complete failure in life and a constant disappointment to him. Then huffed and puffed about 'what I was doing with my career', and how 'he had paid for my expensive education' (hahahahabloodyha). He told me I had ruined my career, and it was all my fault I was in a Tribunal, and I didn't 'try hard enough'.

Then he changed the subject, and didn't refer to it again for the next hour and a half until he got on the train. Cheers, Dad.

Spoke to DD when she got there...appparently he hasn't mentioned a word to my mother. I really wish I had a normal family....

cyclecamper Sun 10-Feb-13 12:00:05

BadMissM Nothing like the support of your family is there? <rollseyes>. Or for that matter a nice bit of victim-blaming! I hope you have a nicer day today.

Waves at iclaudius Hello!

I finally saw the midwife on Thursday (after some kind staff at the hospital had phoned her at home and explained that, despite her having cancelled the session, she had been booked in for 2 appointments! The communications at St Helier seem to be totally rubbish, but the staff are brilliant at dealing with the problemsconfused). Everything was fine and the advantage of the late start was that my husband made it for the whole thing. We heard the heartbeat which was nice. The midwife was lovely, but after 3 stabs (literally!) at taking blood, she got someone else to do it, so I now look like a heroin addict grin. Coincidentally there was a tour of the labour ward happening so we joined that (being the least pregnant by about 10 weeks!) which was great. There is a totally lovely, brand new, midwife led unit which is super with a pool and shower in each of the 3 rooms and low lighting etc. It was beautiful - a real incentive to do the best I can to look after myself and the baby so we can go in there! It is at the other end of the same corridor as the conventional labour ward, so if there is a problem you can be whizzed to all the machines! I picked up some leaflets on home birth to leave around to scare the stepsons though!wink. Actually, I was impressed that one of the first things she asked was whether I was interested in a home birth. It's a bit of a change of culture from when my first boss had hers (88 and 90) and had to fight tooth and nail to have a homebirth!

I had 2 and a half days temp work last week and it was totally exhausting. It was only one 16 month old, as wellconfused. I think I'm going to keep the temp work to a minimum, it's just too much. It did mean that I could pay a visit to JoJo Maman Bebe in Clapham Junction and buy some things in their sale - blouses for £5, big cardigans for £10 and a coat for £15! With the ebay purchases that should keep me going for a bit! With any luck, by the time I need nursing tops, they should be having their summer sale grin.

I've been researching classes in my area. The NCT classes that are nearest finish at 10pm on Thursdays, not very close to a train and it's 2 buses (or a fairly unpleasent bike ride up a hill) to get there. They are also £231 for a couse, a lot of which I probably know, so I'm going to spend my non-existant funds on yoga or pilates instead, which I think will be more helpful as well as cheaper.

Sorry about the rambling post!

iclaudius Sun 10-Feb-13 12:55:17

Cycle camper don't worry about nursing tops just double layer a nice vest with a t shirt - pull t shirt over boob - vest under and jobs a good un!!

somewherebecomingrain Sun 10-Feb-13 13:24:52

just a quickie to say i've gone v quiet as no 3g or internet in my new flat. should be back online soon.

Scarecrow sorry to hear about daughter's illness - not bothersome to hear about, v stressful, hope you getting rested.

hi iclaudius - you sound like an expert at 40+mothering! last post a good example!

cyclecamper lovely that you got your apt - all sounds good xxx

scarecrow22 Sun 10-Feb-13 14:24:50

Hello iClaudius. Lovely to have you in the team. You will double mummy wisdom and literary quota (with Somewhere wink) Please more good tips like feeding tops...

Cycle, glad the staff are good and how divine to hear heartbeat. Good staff worth a lot of machines, imo. Yoga was my favourite hour of week last time. Failed to find time this time but you have spurred me on. Esp as bits if me seem to be failing gradually and even maternity jeans are tight. Oops!

BadMiss - sorry your dad so negative. My mum v negative with sister on 3rd (and a bit 2nd) pregnancy. I understood why but also saw hurt it caused. In the end you have lovely DH, sweet DD and a LO on the way, so it sounds like it is their loss not enjoying some of those blessings. Hugs, though. Poss like you I am making a mental note of habits not to inflict on my DCs, though I guess I'll find other ways to exasperate them grin

Somewhere hope loving flat and DS settling in. Sparkly, hope you had time this weekend to talk to DP. Knicky hope you are resting lots. Eagle hope new feeding trials being sorted and DH still helping: your HVs etc making me cross as a bit or tender support is what is called for. Please please do not feel guilty about FFing though: all children I know mixed or formula fed are the most chilled kids I know and super healthy too, so a v food ad for it. I too wanted to BF an found it fine but really v open to whatever works for LO. The fact you are mixing it under circumstances is amazing and you deserve only praise, hugs and sweet tea. All on offer in the lounge when you ready to drop in...

Waves all x

scarecrow22 Sun 10-Feb-13 14:27:41

PS Dd bounced in 24 hours. Amazing little thing. Still I think not 100pc but you wdnt know if not her mummy. And I did push my luck with a missed nap and 2mi muddy walk yesterday. <negligent mummy emoticon> (Though we had a lot of fun too!)

graciegracie Sun 10-Feb-13 18:15:29

Hi everyone!!! I joined netsmum in the vain hope that i might find some 40+ mums!!
Such a relief! I already have a 9yr old daughter and unfortunately i had breast cancer when she was 18months. A double masctectomy, chemo and radiotherapy and five years later i was told i could try again to conceive. I am delighted to say after nearly a year and a half of trying i am 5 weeks pregnant!! Hurrah!!! Trouble is now i am getting nervous thinking i'm too old!!! AAAAHHH!!! I am in need of reassurance from some cool 40+ ladies!! Are you out there??!!!

BadMissM Sun 10-Feb-13 18:47:57

knicky Glad to hear that DH is making amends and treating you well!

Eagle Sounds like it is all going so much better! Am hoping I go off cazke after the birth, as at the moment am craving it and I can't have it!

DD was a mixture of FF and BF, and I just wasn't precious about it!

Sparkly Hope you have managed to get your DH to talk about it.. Sounds like you are being well taken care of and that they understand you want everything to be sorted quickly...

Scarecrow Oh, poor you with sick DD? How's she feeling? Is always worrying when the bouncy LOs get sick, even though you might have wished they were quieter!

Waves at bbd!

iclaudius Hadn't seen the directive about women over 40 being iduced at 38 weeks...bet my PCT are ignoring it....

cyclecamper My family? I don't know why I even bother to try and include them and to be nice....

Sounds great that the MW was thorough and you saw the labour ward...Your MW led unit sounds great.... I wish our local one was near a hospital....

Job sounds exhausting! Wish we had maternity wear shops near here...I have had to order most of mine on line, and can't try on, etc. Sounds like you got some real bargains!

I got lots of the NCT course (90%) for having a rubbish income, you can just ask them...

Waves to somewhere Hope everything going well in the new flat!

Scarecrow They are 50s throwback parents, determined only their way is the right one, and won't even talk to me. They prefer to talk to my ex and his mother...and DH's ex... and then wonder why they get skewed information. Have been mentally being a completely different parent than mine ever were to DD, and will carry it on for LO.

Glad to hear your DD bounced back! Los are so resilient sometimes!

Graciegracie That's amazing! What a great story you will have to tell your LO! We are a mixed bunch of 40+ mummies-to-be. I'm 45, with a DD of 14... I'm sure we can manage some reassurance! thanks

iclaudius Sun 10-Feb-13 20:33:58

baddmissm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-21277369

show the health authority!!

iclaudius Sun 10-Feb-13 20:36:52

somewhere !!! I am full of useless tips ! If all goes well i'll have had three in my forties.... and the rest!!

bad miss M
sorry here is link royal college of gynaecologists

BadMissM Sun 10-Feb-13 22:17:10

Iclaudius Ooh, will do!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 11-Feb-13 08:21:22

God Iclaudius that's freaked me out a bit although it's
Clearly need to know stuff. Am having a c section in 39th week and want it as early as poss just to get pregnancy over with!

Hello Gracie. You and Iclaudius
Sound
Fab - stay with us xxx

Xxx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 11-Feb-13 08:22:01

Talking of which (pg over with) Knicky is it 3 weeks away? Xxx

scarecrow22 Mon 11-Feb-13 10:11:51

Knicky - last week gringringringrin

scarecrow22 Mon 11-Feb-13 10:12:19

(Of work I mean)

knickyknocks Mon 11-Feb-13 14:46:04

grin yes indeed my last week of work! Hurrah! I feel like I'm crawling towards the finish line now....just can't wait to get to Friday. I'm finding the commute so tough - my mid back aches when I'm in the car for more than 20 minutes, so I've had to start driving like Miss Daisy, practicaLly sitting on the steering wheel with my nose prised up against the windscreen. The only other comfortable driving position is to lay the seat back so I look like a stroppy teenage gangster type. I think you'll agree ladies neither are a good look....
somewhere yes, we're both nearly there now! After such a long journey it is wonderful to have the finish line in sight. 4 weeks 6 days - how long for you?

Waves to Gracie and iclaudius. Hello! Lovely to see some new ladies. Hope that both your journey's are uneventful and smooth going.
badmissm your post re your Dad made me feel so so sad. his loss, but can understand your wish for normality. Just awful. Thank god for your DP, as he sounds wonderful.
cycle I know St Helier very well - lovely to see the staff making amends and hearing the heartbeat. Loving the sound of the birthing centre too. Sounds lovely.
eagle wonderful to hear from you. Hope things are still going OK. Those first few weeks are terrifying, exciting, exhausting all rolled into one. Plus you'll have raging hormones to boot. It does get better and things change so quickly. Looking forward to keeping in touch when I'm on the grads thread.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 11-Feb-13 16:19:42

it's 7 weeks 2 days for me Knicky if i get the c-section when i want it.

oooh 4 weeks 6 days!

it is amazing to have the finish line in sight. I do feel it's going a bit faster now.

Though i'm starting to get anxious now about having two! and remembering that it IS actually harder (though much more fun) having a newborn than being pregnant. I'm trying to think of a metaphor for pregnancy vs post-natal and i can't. Pregnancy is like being under assault, with a purpose that seems very abstract. Post-natal is like being under a much more severe and relentless assault - but with a totally graspable, unwavering and convincing purpose, and leavened by moments of transcendental glory and joy.

[smiles] re your driving styles. hope you can lie around LOTS when you get off work.

badmiss i just wanted to acknowledge about your dad - it sounds like he is projecting some terrible self-loathing on to you. How can he say you are a failure when you have a lovely daughter, another much wanted child on the way, a loving relationship and you are standing on your own two feet? He wants to see a failure... he should see what some people do to their parents! Not least me who landed back at my parents in my forties ("the pitter patter of massive forty-something feet" as this cartoon I saw about the boomerang generation puts it). He must be talking about something that is more to do with him than with you.

scarecrow glad your little girl is bouncing back. She sounds sooo lovely. Hope you are not oveworked - prob a vain hope. 9 weeks to go for you?

More AFM - I thought I knew tired. Then I moved house (lightly leavened with my MIL being rushed to hospital in the middle of the move - she's fine). I've felt like i've been floating outside my body for about a week now. DP being a handful re his new job - he's quite an emotional chap which is partly why i love him. Anyway i think my consciousness is almost back in my head now.

Flat amazing. Just feel worried the landlord will decide to sell - i haven't lived in rented accomodation for such a long time, i'm used to being owner occupier. But it's amazing.

xxx

BadMissM Mon 11-Feb-13 18:17:55

Knicky Yay for last week of work! My Dad...well, he just hears what he wants to and says what he wants to, ut am lucky have a loving DH and DD!

Somewhere You'll be there soon!
My Dad thinks everyone has a text book life where they marry their first love and a career is tenable and pays wonderfully. Ha bloody ha. I don't know what his problem is...he has all that and all the benefits of that in retirement...

Flat sounds lovely, and sure DP will calm down as gets used to new job! smile

In other news, DH's ex now kicking off, saying his DD feels 'left out of my pregnancy'. He's had to go round to the house to shut her up, so he will have hours of ear-bashing from her. This won't have come from his DD, but from her. They have been divorced for three year!!!!!

I have tried to talk to his DD re pregnancy( when she comes round to our house), but she didn't seem to want to, so was avoiding pushing it down her throat as didn't want her to get jealous. Despite being 3 years older than my DD she does play the 'Daddy's little girl' card even now.... ARGH!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 10:29:34

PG is getting so physically uncomfortable now. I think i've got mild SPD since the move. My feet hurt, my back hurts, my tummy hurts. I feel sick again - squished stomach. I've actually lost weight during the move.

Will sleep deprivation be better? I think it will be at first - a change is as good as a rest, then doubtless i'll forget how awful PG was (^not so much that I'll do it again^) and then be very fascinated by how awful sleep deprivation is.

Don't want to moan too much as I know others are going through worse. Just a little vent.

iclaudius Tue 12-Feb-13 10:41:55

Somewhere NOOOOO ! Newborn is easier than pg definitely! You can breathe and sleep and I know you get woken but you can doze off again minus insomnia .... No weight no spd no baby crushing lungs ... Fear not the future looks bright !

Gracie welcome xxx

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 11:06:57

Hello there. I'm another newbie taking the leap from lurker to poster gulp

I'm 40 and currently 35 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. She's due on my son's second birthday. Yes, we do only have sex once a year. Anyway, this pregnancy has been utter shit so I'm totally fed off. Started with nausea 24/7 followed by a smattering of heartburn and exhaustion in the middle and is now being rounded of with the joys of SPD and rib flare. And to top it off we're supposed to be moving house next week but are in the world's most irritating chain. Thank feck my son is so gorgeous at the moment.

Anyway, it's nice to meet you all. I promise to try not to pollute this thread with my abject misery!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 11:09:08

smile iclaudius. that's nice to hear. Thank you! I do agree cause as i remember every time you look at your baby you are so happy and that somehow balances out all the negatives.

xxx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 11:14:37

chairmanwow i'm moaner in chief on this thread so don't be shy around me - knicky is having a much harder time but is much more stoical. I love a moaner to join! I've had a really s--t pregnancy too - partly the pregnancy (morning sickness, moodiness, fatigue, now last trimester general constant discomfort/pain) partly life events (sick mum, DS in scary but ultimately ok accident, poverty, family dramas, sick MIL, and moving house).

I really hope you are going to be able to move.

Glad you get to have sex at least once a year and how sensible that you keep the timing consistent smile.

xxx

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 11:32:32

Sex once a year now seems like such a colossal task, but if I ever, ever feel sexy and up for it again I will be using the coil, the pill, a cap, a femidom (do they still exist?) and double wrapping my husband so I never have to do this again. In fact I might just grab the kitchen scissors and hack at my hubby's tubes right now!

Okay, so I'm being melodramatic. I do try to remind myself that I'm damn lucky to be having a baby at 40, I really wanted one of each and that's what we're getting etc. But it is good to find a space among women my age where I can have a good old moan.

Thanks! thanks

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 11:41:05

Love it - i feel exactly the same way! Good tip re the contraception - gonna stock up now!

blueblackdye Tue 12-Feb-13 11:41:48

Well Chairman one of us has decided to get sterilised at the same time as giving birth to her 3rd DC by C-Section ! Anyway, welcome to the thread, as you have seen, these Ladies are full of fun and so supportive. i am a Grads now but still commenting from time to time ! You are nearly there, 5 more weeks to go, hey ! The light at the end of the tunnel...

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 11:59:55

Thanks for the welcome BlueBlack. There does seem to be a lot of good humour on here, also lots of sensible advice and quite a few feisty discussions. I went onto Baby Centre for a bit as I have the app and it was full of young 'uns slagging off midwives and worrying that they were unable to shave their bits prior to birth, cos we all want that 'porn star' look when we're pushing our our babies (and usually some poo at the same time, as I pointed out). I think I became a bit too opinionated for them!

And absolutely - just 5 weeks or so til I meet my gorgeous girl. Anyway, I've spent the last 10 minutes coating my stomach with Gaviscon. Time to brave some food!

Thanks again for being so welcoming.

blueblackdye Tue 12-Feb-13 12:16:36

Yes Chairman leave the youngsters to their illusions ! Childbirth means losing dignity for most women, as you mentioned. They will soon find out that first time Mum job excludes at least for a while being sexy... I don't know how some Mums can still wear high heel shoes while pushing baby and handling phone and coffee ! Of course they are not aware either that they slow down every one else and take up the whole pavement.

blueblackdye Tue 12-Feb-13 12:18:05

Hum, I may have made myself some ennemies with my last comment on high heel shoes... Too late ! Hope MNHQ won't delete my post smile

sparklysapphire Tue 12-Feb-13 12:23:38

Knicky, wow your last week at work smile, I hope it rushes by and you can then give up your unusual driving positions and maybe have a bit of a rest before LO arrives, sounds like you need it.

Somewhere, you sound like you're settled in after your move, glad you're pleased with your flat. I hope you're DP calms down about his job - but new jobs are always stressful - so you can chill out a bit before the birth. I'm sorry you're feeling so rough though, it sounds like the move didn't help. I hate moving anyway and I always think anyone who moves house in late pregnancy is extremely brave.

MissM, I'm sorry that your dad was so negative about your pregnancy, but as knicky says, it sounds like he's missing out, not you.

Cyclecamper, glad everything is going well and you got a tour of the labour ward. Your midwife led unit sounds lovely, and how reassuring to hear the heartbeat.

Scarecrow, you're right of course, we're not the first couple to go through this (Chris Hulne and his wife spring to mind). But it was like this last time, and from what DH said, when we discussed the possiblity, I really thought it was going to be ok this time. I was working over the weekend, but it seems like he doesn't even want to be in the same room with me at the moment, so talking seems a long way off. I can't see him going to Relate, but I might, but I'm not even broaching that at the moment.

The m/w has been to book me in this morning (I didn't tell DH) so it's all seeming a bit more real. I asked her about not going over 40 weeks if you're over 40, and she didn't think it was a problem. I'd really prefer not be induced again, but if it's best for the baby, then I suppose I'll have to. Also my due date is the end of August so that's a bit tricky for school years.

Hi to iclaudius, gracie & chairman, waves to everyone else.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 13:26:14

smile blueback re the young ones. can't believe how excited the 20 and 30 something ladies get on my april thread about brands! brands of baby clothes and buggies.

one thing i will get excited about is brands of nursing bras as i have huge knockers - at the edge of the known bra size world. anyone in a similar position i have a few thoughts.

sparkly so sorry to hear about your DH. My DP went off sex when i was pregnant first time round when i had the most enormous surge of interest i've ever experienced in my life (sorry if TMI... ) and i felt really hurt and shocked. He generally just wasn't interested in the amazing biological process i was going through and it contributed to my sense of isolation. he seemed in fact to find it a bit ewww and as if it was me kind of choosing to be a bit ewww so i was sort of to blame. I had imagined him rubbing my belly and taking photos as men are supposed to do but he just seemed bored and faintly disgusted by the whole thing.

he's much better this time but he's had a lot of therapy

Did your DH change after the baby was born last time? If so can you wait it out? really hope you are feeling ok with it.

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 14:00:57

Oh god, I'm at the edge of knocker reason as well somewherebecomingrain. It's got worse with each pregnancy. And I'm only 5ft 1in so I look like my whole upper body is boob (apart from when I am pregnant, when I'm just boob and bump with stick arms and legs). Please, share your bra thoughts with me. Oh, and I forgot to say earlier, I'm sorry you've had so much life stress as well as pregnancy nightmare. I hope things are looking up for you soon.

sparklysapphire I mentioned the induction thing to my midwife last week and she said none of the Manchester hospitals do it based purely on age. There would need to be other risks. She also said that most of the middle class fortysomethings round here would refuse induction anyway. There's probably some yogurt knitting incantation ceremony they do to try and bring on labour instead. hmm

I've got very mixed feelings - on the one hand I don't want to be induced, on the other I went 12 days over last time and my son was one lazy fetus so I spent the whole time paranoid. I guess there isn't some magical process whereby your reproductive system gives up on your 40th birthday. I just hope this little one is a bit more punctual or at the very least more wriggly than her big bro.

knickyknocks Tue 12-Feb-13 14:14:04

sparkly you poor love, things sound so stressful for you. I'm still gutted for you that he was initially fine about everything then when the pg was confirmed seems to have run away from it all. Men have that option don't they?! Things must be difficult to say the least in your house. at the moment, sending you big hugs. On a completely different note, when I suggested to my m/w and consultant about being induced at 40 weeks, they both said it wasn't the policy at my particular trust (Epsom and St Helier). I'm fairly pleased about that, but wouldn't be adverse to having a sweep done around 39/40 weeks to see if that gets things going. It certainly worked with DD, so am hoping for the same magic to happen!
somewhere bless you - stoical me??? Thought I'd managed to out-do everyone with my constant me me me gripes! You poor thing with those aches and pains - completely understand. Any length of car journey for me now renders me into a bit of a wimp with mid-back pain. Need to get this baby out soon!! PS Your way with words is always marvellous - particularly enjoyed your description of feelings of pg v's post-natal. As per usual you hit the nail absolutely on the head with your descriptions.
chairmanwow you are most definitely very welcome on this thread - moan away about how you're feeling. I certainly don't think pregnancy is the most glowing wonderful time to be had. To be truthful it is merely a means to an end that I want. I will never put myself through another pg again - of course I remain feeling completely blessed that I did get pg, I spent about 18 months on the 40+ conception thread wishing every month that it would be my lucky month, which at last of course it was - but doesn't mean to say I like the flaming process - morning sickness, SPD does not make a happy knicky. BTW looks as if we're very close on due dates 17/3 for me. Yours must only be a couple of days later?
badmissm oh blimey now the ex is kicking off saying the DD is feeling 'left out' after your attempts to do the right thing?? OMG - AAARRGGHH - as you say!

Lastly just to say, will update the stats thread - I wonder how far to the top I'll be?!

knickyknocks Tue 12-Feb-13 14:19:57

Stats list as promised.....there are a couple missing-in-actions: Swanlike, nananaps, spiderbabymum, the noodles - all due imminently. Wherever they are I hope things progress quickly and smoothly. Has Riverside had her baby - or is my baby brain playing tricks?

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 - had baby in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, - had a baby girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1 Jan Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1

PG
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike, 41, 31/1
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS at 39/40 (DD b 12/10)
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
CaliBee, 42, DC4 due Aug (1st DC for DP), with our hopes & support
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
Buzzbee, 40, DC2, due Sept?

knickyknocks Tue 12-Feb-13 14:22:06

Oh gosh - I must update the list, I made a faux pas with the pregnancy list. Here it is again, corrected.

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 - had baby in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, - had a baby girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1 Jan Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1

PG
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike, 41, 31/1
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS at 39/40 (DD b 12/10)
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
Buzzbee, 40, DC2, due Sept?

sharni20 Tue 12-Feb-13 14:23:37

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 15:14:30

knickyknocks I'm due on the 15th. She'll be my second. My son was spookily born in the 15th March too, in 2011. Almost due date buddies grin

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 15:16:07

Actually, when I say my son was spookily born on 15th March I don't mean the birth was haunted or anything. Unless you count the strange mooing noises I was making for about 6 hours. I mean it's spooky that it's the same day.

I'll get me coat. blush

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 15:49:49

yes yes riverside has had hers - she had the tear (ouch) but otherwise well pleased as i remember.

xx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 12-Feb-13 15:53:09

Anyone object to me moving the women who's due dates have passed? I am a bit worried about swanlike looking back - she had some unusual complications. I hope she and baby are ok.

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 - had baby in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, - had a baby girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1 Jan Girl
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy

AWAITING UPDATE
Swanlike, 41, 31/1

PG
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS at 39/40 (DD b 12/10)
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1, 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
Buzzbee, 40, DC2, due Sept?

blueeyes1970 Tue 12-Feb-13 16:04:22

Well girls - I guess I should join this club. I was freaking out about nuchal folds / blood test risk factor (1:50), finally came to conclusion this is only chance to be pregnant (1st time pregnant at 42); so will embrace and chillax. Work situation a bit scary - contract finishes beg April, due date early July - so will be jobseeking in third trimester. Anyone else in a similar situation? I suppose the main thing is.... we're all lucky to be expecting.

knickyknocks Tue 12-Feb-13 16:06:45

grin grin chairman a haunted due date grin. Yes indeed almost due date buddies - how was your labour with your first if you don't mind me asking? I had a relatively straightforward albeit a bit too quick for my liking first labour - I'm starting to feel nervous about the whole event again - and I certainly don't want it to be any quicker.....I do not want to be one of those ladies who gives birth in a lay-by (that said surely you get vouchers for John Lewis if you manage to give birth in one of their stores wouldn't you?) On a different note - another lady moving in their 3rd trimester?? Hope it all goes well. Make sure that on the day the most strenous duty for you will be putting the kettle on and breaking open a packet of biscuits please.

PS grin Sex once a year? At the moment, we're definitely in a drought situation chez knickyknocks with any night time shennanigans. The thought of doing anything remotely sexy leaves me cold. Pass me a packet of maltesers and a nice drama to watch and that'll be just lovely thank you.

somewhere thanks for adding the awaiting update - I didn't know what to do about the ladies who are currently MIA.

I also meant to say in my other post iclaudius thank you for reminding us that a newborn is far easier than dealing with a pg - no SPD and with others to help out, you are right that things are easier on the other side as it were.

Waves to scarecrow, bbd, cycle, gracie.

ChairmanWow Tue 12-Feb-13 17:18:57

My labour last time was a 36 hour epic, topped off with three and a half hours of pushing. An absolute joy from start to finish! Actually the bit where I was off my tits on diamorphine was an absolute joy wink. I walked and walked and walked to keep my labour going, my contractions were very irregular. Am really hoping for a quick 'un this time - i'd even settle for 24 hours! I'm a bit nervous too. I've got PGP so I can't walk much, which limits active labour somewhat. I've got a PGP birthing class soon though.

My other half is being amazing re the move. I will be doing nothing at all. He's a total star and has taken the brunt of everything while I've been suffering with my ailments. I still can't quite muster the motivation to actually shag him though. I keep giving him cake 'n' cuddles instead. He's not said owt!

MrsWooster Tue 12-Feb-13 19:02:22

Welcome everyone - chairman, I feel your pain and will pretty definitely get them to tie things off if I end up with a CS... 5 weeks on Thursday for me- induction booked for 21 March. Seems quite near... Also, am now 46 for next update- am cherishing my Methusalah status. Ta ta, love from Grandma.

cyclecamper Tue 12-Feb-13 21:42:44

Hi Blueeyes I am also 42 and expecting my first (surprisingly - due to failed vasectomy!) and only. I found out that I was pregnant the week after finishing my job and am just temping for the moment, going to think about new jobs once the sneaky baby arrives. My temp boss last week started her job when she was pregnant with twins, so it can be done. As I thought it was either ME or the menopause, I didn't find out that I was pregnant till 16 weeks, so I missed all the worrying and most of the tests!

By the way, anyone who updates the due dates list, I'm due 14th June, not July/August.

Waves to Knicky and everyone.

BadMissM Tue 12-Feb-13 22:35:23

somewhere Boo to the SPD! Hope you're feeling a bit better xxx

ChairmanWow Waves to another northerner, am guessing by the Manchester comment... We all pollute the thread with our abject moaning misery, especially me, so feel free to join in!

Somewhere It would be nice if the crap life events left us alone whilst we're already feeling crap!

CharimanWow I wouldn't call that overkill on the contraceptive front!

BBD I'm just going to be too old and decrepit to procreate further...I'm pushing my luck already now!

ChairmanWow Argh, BabyCentre was full of young people singing the praises of pregnancy!

BBD Have goiven up my stupidly high goth shoes for the duration!

Sparkly Thanks! So, they are ignoring the advice about going to full-term over 40 then?

Sorry to hear that the DH is still not doing too well on the communication front.... to agree in advance then drop back into distance must make it feel worse. Maybe not Relate, but do you have a close friend or family member that would sort-of mediate?

Somewhere Branded baby goods? Really, utterly can't be arsed with all of that. Mind you, I can't be bothered with all of that for me either...

I'm rapidly heading towards the edge of knocker reason too... am wondering if they making nursing bras in 'bugger me that's massive' size...

and I'm only 5'2''....

ChairmanWow Scared of the yogurt-knitting incantation brigade....there's lots of them around here. I just hope my hospital don't believe in all of that, because they are crap enough as it is...I was considering hanging around in Manchester waiting to give birth to avoid them....

Knicky Way behind you yet I'm whinging about pain already!

ChairmanWow A spooky birth sounds cool...a friend of mine chose purposely to be induced on Hallowe'en!

Me.... off to the hospital tomorrow to see Diabetes Consultant, Dietician, Diabetes Nurse, Mental Health Midwife (yes, they're insisting) and Obstetrician... They are convinced they'll fit all of this in! (I'm not)...

scarecrow22 Tue 12-Feb-13 22:38:56

Welcome Gracie, Chairman and Blueeyes. All wonderful stories and great additions. Chairman I guffawed in street at comment on sex - parents were reeling in children for safety.

Great lists. I have some running amendments to list I will check against what's been posted but looks good. Especially as I am finally (scarily) surfacing to the top half (god edit Somewhere wink)

remnant Tue 12-Feb-13 22:58:31

Hello all, i've been rubbish at keeping up with you all here, but I understand there's been at least one birth. Congratulations x

I hardly feel pregnant at all, DH is still getting over the shock of it all and would like a termination. We're weighing up whether me giving him a child he doesn't want is a better or worse outcome than him talking me into an abortion I don't want sad We've had a counselling session and have even managed to talk about it on our own. His health isn't great which complicates things. I'd convinced myself he was quite open to the idea of another DC but now I see otherwise blush. I, however, find it very hard to let go of the idea.

Anyway, I had an early scan at FMC a few weeks ago just to check that there was at least an actual heartbeat for us to be going through all this anguish over, and there is (or at least was?). I also booked up for the harmony test, due to go in for that in a couple of weeks time, a week before the NHS NT scan.

I'm actually wondering if one of you guys can tell me what happens at FMC when you go in for that. Do they just take blood or will they also do a quick scan? And what happens when you go info the results two weeks later?

sparklysapphire Tue 12-Feb-13 23:32:23

Remnant, I've just been thinking about you, and wondering if you're having an easier time of it than me, but obviously not - I'm really sorry, it's so hard isn't it? Did you have counselling through Relate or with somebody private, and do you think it helped? I'm not sure if it would help us, but it might help me. DH is still barely speaking to me, but what hurts most is the physical rejection, no touching, no cuddles in bed, no kiss goodnight. I've spent a lot of today in tears. I really hope you can work out which is best - at the moment I'm feeling that having this baby might destroy my marriage, and I'll never forgive myself if I deprive DD of her dad, but I'm going to fight to keep him if I have to.

MissM, You're going to busy seeing all those people tomorrow, but at least you're being properly looked after now, even if they are insisting on the mental health midwife.
I will probably talk to my DB sometime soon, and maybe DH would as well as they're good mates as well as being BILs but DB is very protective of me so I don't know. But I don't want to talk to people in RL in case I get a positive Down's result, in which case I'll probably terminate (sorry if this offends anyone, I just think that would be the best thing for my existing family) and so don't want to have to explain that to people, especially the potential uncle. My standard risk (I'm sure some of you know this) is apparently 1 in 30, so I'm trying to look at it that it's much more likely the baby will be fine than not. I've got my 12 week scan on Friday, I'm impressed by the speed at which things have moved along, and I'll be seeing a consultant (age-related) so I'll ask him about going full term. Also because DD was big (nearly 10lbs), they'll be testing me for GD later on, although there was no suggestion of that last time, so I'm hoping to avoid it.

Sorry about the me, me, me post, maybe things will be better tomorrow.

Welcome blueeyes, I like your positive attitude, very sensible despite the job situation

remnant Tue 12-Feb-13 23:45:48

Hi sparkly, thanks!
I've been thinking about you too, don't know how you cope with DH just shutting down like that. My DH is being warm as ever mostly (when he's in denial which is most of the time), and when he's not he's no longer insisting that we split if there's no termination. He just says he'll be angry forever for me giving him a child he doesn't want and, understandably, he can't say what implications there may be in the future. Likewise, I'm not sure what toll the resentment about an unwanted abortion might have. We had counselling session at local hospital, I asked GP for a referral but I could have self referred. There'd have been no way I'd have got him anywhere near it if it wasn't presented as a preliminary to a termination. He knows that that's not necessarily going to happen though. It was useful for us to get a lot of things aired, both during and after the session. I really don't know what's fairest to do for myself, him and DS sad
Grim eh? For both of us. Good luck thanks

Apologies to everyone else for bringing the tone of the thread down thanks

blueblackdye Wed 13-Feb-13 08:23:28

Sparkly, Remnant, I am so so so sorry.... This is utterly unfair. A child is a blessing. A child needs 2 parents. Big hugs to both of you, special big hugs. Waves to everyone else.

scarecrow22 Thu 14-Feb-13 17:58:35

sparkly, remnant, I can't bear it for you. How awful. Puts my issues with DH into perspective.
I wish I could think of something helpful to say. The most important thing is you keep talking, talking, talking.
Sparkly having a DC already makes it more complicated perhaps. Certainly at worst with DH recently a friend asked why I put up with his behaviour and all I could say was that I owe it to my daughter. But my parents stayed together for us and if you can't get on with each other, if there is too much bitterness, then that is painful too for children.
Remnant I can only imagine that the chance to have your one and only DC makes things more painful too. I don't dare say what I would do.
I hope so so much that you will both find ways through.

remnant Thu 14-Feb-13 18:29:49

Thanks blueblackdye, and scarecrow. Actually, like sparkly I do actually have another child, thank god. I love him so much I just wanted another. Even DH says he's the best thing he's ever done. Which is one of the reasons I just couldn't understand his reluctance to have another. Anyway, he had come round to accept that the pregnancy was going ahead with or without him, and seemed prepared to make the best of it (in between bouts of sulking and anger). I'm sorry to say though that I had another scan today that showed a MMC. Not sure what to do about it yet, I just wanted to come home. I've had no bleeding whatsoever, maybe it will come, I'm not ready yet to hurry it just yet. Anyway, I'll bow out, wishing you all the very best x

sparklysapphire Thu 14-Feb-13 18:43:18

Oh remnant, I'm so sorry about the mmc. All that anguish and now this, I know it means no decisions have to be made, but I know you wanted this baby, please be kind to yourself.

Knicky, is it your last day at work tomorrow or today? You must be so relieved you can stop.

MissM, I hope all your appointments went ok today

Thank you too blueblack & scarecrow. DH finally felt ready to talk last night - his best case is an m/c, and he's no close to accepting the pregnancy. He doesn't want to leave but can't rule it out. It's so hard. He's absolutely refused to even consider any type of counselling so we'll just have to try and figure it out between us.

Happy Valentine's day to you all, I hope everyone has special treats from their DPs (we don't do it as DH thinks it's all far too commercial).

blueblackdye Thu 14-Feb-13 19:40:54

Remnant, I know this feeling of loving a child so much that you want a sibling for this child, this is one of the reason we had our second baby. Strangely enough, although the second baby was desired by both f us, our relationship is very cold now. I am giving myself moretime but I have given up talking and fighting to make things better. I am so sorry re mmc. Come back to let us jnow how you are doing. Thinking of you. Take care of you and DS.
Sparkly, why is he so reluctant ? I know, the first 3 years are hard, but then until kidsbecome teenagers they bring so much joy and give our life a meaning, don't they ? Can you see someone on your own who could help you find the right words to persuade your DH ?
Scarecrow, I m sorry you have issue too. Pg should be surrounded by happiness
Lots pf hugs to all of you

scarecrow22 Thu 14-Feb-13 22:21:06

Remnant, if you look in, I'm so sorry for you. Sorry to have missed you have a DC: thank goodness. Hope you heal in all senses as time goes on and can enjoy your family as it is. Good luck.

ChairmanWow Thu 14-Feb-13 22:34:06

Remnant I'm so sorry to hear how this has ended. What a horrible time you must have been having. I hope your partner is able to support you through this despite his misgivings. thanks

Sparkly I hope your OH sees sense. Surely your relationship is worth more.

BadMissM Thu 14-Feb-13 22:52:28

Sparkly I can sympathise with you over the being completely ignored by DH... I left my ex after he kept that up for 2 1/2 years with no explanation. This is also coming at a time when you need reassurance, not rejection.... Can no-one mediate to get him to talk rather than sulk?

I don't mean an outside agency, but someone from the family, or a firend, just to act as referee?

Remnant I am so, so, sorry to hear what has happened. It was so unfair of your DH to ask you to make a choice like that, and now even that choice isn't there...many hugs, and I hope he at least supports you through this xxx

Yetsreday's appointment...not much use. The only point in sending me to see mental health midwife was to talk me out of ELCS, as far as I could tell.... literally.
'You wouldn't want a caesarean'
Yes I would'
'It's a big thing'
'So was nearly dying last time on the table'
But you don't really want one...'
'Yes I do'....

They are even insisting I obtain records from Paris of last birth, even though they can't read them.... as if I was making up what I told them.

Even doubted I had a hole in my heart...
'Are you sure?'
'Well, my mother told me'
'Are you sure'
'Well, it should be in my medical records, shouldn't it?'
'Are you sure?'
'Well, I was in hospital for 6 months after I was born....look, this happened in England, shouldn't you know?'

Why would I be making any of this up as they could check on all of this easily...grrrrrr. They are trying every way possible to get out of me having an ELCS....

iclaudius Fri 15-Feb-13 11:40:33

Remnant I am so so sorry xx

cyclecamper Fri 15-Feb-13 11:50:46

Remnant So sorry to hear that.

BadMissM That sounds rubbish - is there anyone else you can see? It doesn't sound as though that was the person you need. I suppose at least if you have the French records, they can get them translated and see what the problems were last time, from a medical point of view. There is probably at least one person in the area with fluent french. I hope things get better for you.

sparklysapphire Fri 15-Feb-13 12:04:19

Hi ladies,a quick update to say that from my 12 week scan, Downs risk has dropped to 1 in 400, hoping bloods will agree. I'm on my phone so can't name check, have a lovely weekend everyone.

cyclecamper Fri 15-Feb-13 12:06:24

Sparkly great news about the scan. Have a nice weekend. smile

rosiedays Fri 15-Feb-13 12:20:25

hi cycle good to see your still around. how are you?

BadMissM Fri 15-Feb-13 12:34:13

cyclecamper They are so mean, (and we live somewhere so stupid), they'll probably have to get me to translate them, which kind of defeats the point. They won't waste money on having them translated!

Sparkly Brilliant news! Yay!

scarecrow22 Fri 15-Feb-13 13:07:52

Great news Sparkly, just lovely reassurance.

BadMiss, you couldn't make up such a litany of poor care. Sounds worth getting French records though.

Knicky -think your last day at work, or in an odd bit of my brain maybe first day of mat leave? Hurrah! At last.

BadMissM Fri 15-Feb-13 13:18:31

scarecrow Rang the French hospital yesterday, they were amazingly sympathtic, and are finding everything they can to support my case...and sending it to me free of charge (wish I could go back there!).

I'd even been reading about how to be really assertive in a pregnancy book just before I went in, so used all the pointers, decisive statements 'I really need and want an ELCS' etc.... ARGH!

knickyknocks Fri 15-Feb-13 19:39:13

remnant I'm so sad to read your news. I'm thinking of you. I hope that you and your DP find a way to connect again, even though I know this is going to be a terribly hard time for you.
sparkly I still can't believe your DH is acting this way given that it was a joint decision to have another DC. It's so hard to read that his best case scenario would be for a m/c.....the others have given good advice re mediation, but I know in the meantime living day to day with this hanging over you both must be unbelievably tough. I appreciate he's finding it tough too, but I really do think that he has no idea how hard this is for you. It's happening to you and your body. It's your body going through the most tremendous changes, I just so wish that he can find a way to give you the support that you need right now. Hugs lovely sparkly.
badmissm I'm still in shock at your treatment. So glad to hear the french hospital was so much more supportive. Hopefully, the notes will help your case for the ELCS. Crossing fingers.

And yes today was my last day at work (albeit that I have to go in for a meeting on the 22nd) but between now and that I have a luxury pedicure booked and a bit of reflexology. I made it.....! Next target is the big finish line...4 weeks 2 days....grin

knickyknocks Fri 15-Feb-13 19:39:13

remnant I'm so sad to read your news. I'm thinking of you. I hope that you and your DP find a way to connect again, even though I know this is going to be a terribly hard time for you.
sparkly I still can't believe your DH is acting this way given that it was a joint decision to have another DC. It's so hard to read that his best case scenario would be for a m/c.....the others have given good advice re mediation, but I know in the meantime living day to day with this hanging over you both must be unbelievably tough. I appreciate he's finding it tough too, but I really do think that he has no idea how hard this is for you. It's happening to you and your body. It's your body going through the most tremendous changes, I just so wish that he can find a way to give you the support that you need right now. Hugs lovely sparkly.
badmissm I'm still in shock at your treatment. So glad to hear the french hospital was so much more supportive. Hopefully, the notes will help your case for the ELCS. Crossing fingers.

And yes today was my last day at work (albeit that I have to go in for a meeting on the 22nd) but between now and that I have a luxury pedicure booked and a bit of reflexology. I made it.....! Next target is the big finish line...4 weeks 2 days....grin

somewherebecomingrain Sat 16-Feb-13 11:35:58

Crickey Knicky ... It's coming up! It's our time!

Sorry to be quiet - lurking like crazy but in a flat with no internet and barely any 3G.

Sparkly so please about your adjusted risk and so sorry about Partner. Agree with Knicky - dont understand why he's back tracking.

Badmiss I can't believe your having to fight for your ELCS so hard. I continue to be shocked. I hope you are using the pals and can and all those kinds of things. Well done on contacting the French hospital.

AFM one of ds's fingers is still numb right down to the base and it shouldn't be according to what the normal recovery is said to be so we're in a&e right now. Nursery says he has aptitude for violin.... But hell nerd his fingers to have sensation! Anyway am gonna be a pushy mum about getting it the proper attention.

Have terrible back and crotch and pubic pain after lying down or even sitting but otherwise pregnancy not too bad.

Have actually lost weight which seems a bit wrong - about a quarter of a stone since my peak. Good cause am overweight and baby def growing and kicking. But wierd.

Xx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 16-Feb-13 11:36:33

He'll need!

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 11:55:32

Hello ladies,

May i ask for some advice please? If not appropriate on this thread, would someone kindly point me in the right direction?

I am 40 (nearly 41) - I very naively thought that I would plan my pregnancy like a business meeting. LOL! How wrong I was! I am struggling like hell..... .. finding a group of girls on this thread who are my age and reading your stories has been hugely comforting (sorry for gatecrashing!)

I am 42 days into my cycle. Normally 28 days. Spot on. Alway bleed terribly heavily. Trying for a baby for 2 years now. Absolutely no luck... not even a psooibility UNTIL this cycle.

Day 28 due on
Day 34 very light and bright red bleed for 2 days. (my mother bled thru all pg's)
Day 41 blood test - result on MONDAY sad - need it today
Day 42 (today) STILL BFN and now positive for ovulation test.
Sore boobs - worse today
wind (sorry if TMI)
Low tolerance (my poor sister suffered this thru pg's
Very emotional - cry easily

Hubby works away during the week. We have this weekend and next week off work together. Its normally a mad dash across the country to meet up when i get my smiley ovulation result..... do damn difficult but its our priority now!

Have ANY of you ladies experienced the same thing?
Could I be pregnant and the low HGC be due to my age? or am I being ridiculous? Do we try again this weekend and risk upsetting what could already be happening. I am not on an early menophase and have never been late before?

HELP so very gratefully received - so sorry for my ramble!!!

ChairmanWow Sat 16-Feb-13 13:17:34

Hi Chummy1.

Sometimes you do get a positive ovulation test when you're pregnant. I saw this happen on another thread. However the BFN could possibly contradict this. Have you considered asking for a blood test?

Other than that all I can say is that trying this weekend wouldn't affect things if you're pregnant. Also as far as I'm aware your HCG levels aren't any lower when you're older (someone might come along and tell me I'm wrong though).

If this isn't it I can give you some tips re regulating your cycle and the right time to do the do (mainly, don't wait til the smiley face, get plenty of sperm in there ready for the egg), though I might be teaching you how to suck eggs after 2 years of trying smile. Let me know if you want me to post.

Fingers crossed it's not needed.

BadMissM Sat 16-Feb-13 13:41:52

Remnant Still thinking of you, hugs xxxx

Sparkly and your DH feels that this is an acceptable way to behave? With my ex-H went to family therapy...which looked and things like acceptable behaviour and boundaries... might be worth a look? It looked at things like behaviour when pregnant and to pregnant women, and to women at vulnerable times... Ex-H considered his behaviour acceptable until he was told to his face by someone other than me that it wasn't...

Knicky I will get one, even if I have to scream and shout and.....! Was also hoping to get neuro onside about pain issues, but he's just moved my appointment from April to July, as...he's on holiday for all of that time! I've waited a year between appointments as it is!

Glad to hear you are finally on Maternity Leave, all getting very close !!!

Somewhere You too! I know about the lurking...we have no mobile signal at all in this house, ahev to go outside to text!

Our PCT notoriously stingy and bad at their job, so they won't pay for anything. When had MMC two years ago, and didn't miscarry, they wanted me to wait weeks and miscarry at home to save them money.... (I didn't let them).

Re DS's fingers...stomp and stamp if you have to, for LOs sometimes you have to do that to get what they need... !

I've been losing weight on stupid diabetes diet.... not good this early on really.Not that I didn't have a bit to lose....

Apart from that...DD due back from GParents tomorrow...have really missed her. She's had rubbish time as well from her texts and posts.... She won't want to see them if they behave like this.....

scarecrow22 Sat 16-Feb-13 19:02:27

Hello Chummy, and (v) welcome.
I have not done ovulation tests, and never worked out what BFN is, except to work out it sounds like a pregnancy test <blush>
However, I bled in both pregnancies - just once at beginning, first time v little, this time like a period (excuse tmi), and also tested negative, twice, at c 5 weeks. Only tested pos at 7 weeks.
Can't say what that means for you, just saying/proving odd things do happen.
Do keep in touch, especially if you are pg, of course. All the very best.

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 19:39:49

Hi Scarecrow,
Many many thanks for sharing your experience with me. Having never been pregnant (at the grand old age of 40 - 41 very soon!) I have no idea what is/is not normal! if there is 'a normal' !

My boobs are horribly sore and this is the main reason for my questioning the PG test results. Took the tests to the extreme today.... Clearblue digi, ER and Boots! (obsessive ?? err probably!) all negative (2 lines on the digi but they don't count - the screen clearly said Not Pregnant! ) Monday was too far away! My bloods are back on Monday and I think this will confirm what we already know.

Time to try again... back on the horse! Who knows, I may be lucky and have an experience like you! I did miss a period and I do feel very tired and emotional however realistically, that's probably self induced pressure.....Its lovely to not 'feel alone, so thank you very much for taking the time to write to me. Wishing you a very happy and healthly pg.... Kindest, Chummy1

BadMissM Sat 16-Feb-13 19:43:05

First time I was ever pregnant (years ago) tested negative at 5 weeks and even at 12 weeks in test by my GP. I also had bleeding at the time of my period....

When I had DD tested negative the first time....

Is there a normal?

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 19:59:30

Hi BadmissM , you are soooo right! Until a few days ago i thought that there was a normal but now i don't think that there is!

I find it amazing that you tested negative at 12 weeks! wow!!?? blood test or urine? Did you have other symptoms? ie you knew but the tests were 'disagreeing with you' ? I have no idea.... I thought i was but now..... oh who knows! My sensible head is saying.... after er what about 20 tests, its time to stop testing and accept that the lower abdo pain and boob soreness is coincidence or I lost a very early pg with that little red bleed!

Its GR8 to hear your story though.... I am learning every hour of every day! thank you

cyclecamper Sat 16-Feb-13 20:08:54

Hi Chummy, I think you are right - there is no normal! My sister never tested positive before 8 weeks for any of her 5. I have no idea about me - I was 16 weeks before I tested! If the low abdomen pain continues or gets worse, go and see the GP quickly though.

chummy1 Sat 16-Feb-13 22:34:36

another one! wow thank you cyclecamper. Its all so helpful to know.
If its neg on Monday (and i expect it will be) I will see the GP about the lower abdo pain. thank you for your advice. best wishes

cyclecamper Sun 17-Feb-13 18:04:37

BadMissM Hope your daughter is all fine after the visit to grandparents. My sister says the same about my parents - the children don't want to go there sad.

I think my husband is nesting - it started on Tuesday with pancakes (mmmmm), then on Friday he made scones and some buckwheat pancakes from an (out of dateblush) mix. Yesterday he made galettes (buckwheat pancakes) from scratch and brioche grin. Yum, yum, yum, yum smile. We had some of the galettes for lunch today as wraps with salad in them and brioche for tea. He's planning to do a veggie roast dinner tonight, which sounds nice too. At this rate I'll be the size of a house!

scarecrow22 Sun 17-Feb-13 21:01:51

Cycle, your DP sounds wonderful. Does he want to moonlight as chef in the coffee lounge? Brioche and my daily coffee at about 10am tomorrow sounds just the job. ... Going to have sweet (high-carb) dreams.
Grad mums redecorated their snug. Anybody fancy giving ours a once over. Thinking an ante room for massage and reflexology a good idea?

BadMissM Sun 17-Feb-13 21:20:31

Chummy1 Was a blood test!!!

Cyclecamper My ex-H was Breton, and galettes are a firm favourite in our house... DH is actually much better at making them than me, on the crepiere... (I make a mean batter but am crap at getting them the right thickness!) Just had some to toast the return of DD, as Buckwheat actually OK for diabetics (yay!). Really nice (but naughty and typically Breton) is lots of salted butter on a galette, then roll it up for breakfast!

DD just very glad to be home, I think!

BadMissM Sun 17-Feb-13 21:22:27

Still none the wiser about parents view of pg. Saw Dad today when he brought DD back... am now wondering if he actually heard me or whether he just started automatically ranting.... though DH and DD heard me tell him 3 times!

cyclecamper Sun 17-Feb-13 21:47:18

Sometimes I wonder if my dad's heard me - although instead of automatically ranting, he automatically talks about food. His reaction to me announcing that I was getting married (at the age of 39!) was: 'that's nice' followed immediately by: 'we got some leeks for 1p a bag in Tescos - we got 7 bags for 7p!' When I told him about the baby it only vaguely interupted his musings on when he needed to take the turkey out of the freezer for my sister visiting <rollseyes>. Glad your DD is ok.

Scarecrow He is lovely! The roast dinner was fantastic this evening. I'm very lucky smile.

scarecrow22 Mon 18-Feb-13 09:29:44

Chummy, thinking of you lots today. Either way, stay positive. And do bring news to the coffee lounge for support and or laughter x

BadMissM Mon 18-Feb-13 16:57:11

Cyclecamper That's it...the 'You're a complete failure' rant is one of his favourites, so hard to know. He spent most of his 45 minutes here between trains telling me about things he'd read in the 'Daily Mail', and complaining about his own health... although you'd think he might guess from the fact I'm not smoking...

knickyknocks Tue 19-Feb-13 13:20:26

scarecrow an ante room for massages and reflexology in the snug?? Sounds perfect! Just back from a luxury pedicure myself. Can't blinking reach down to those toes whichever way I try to get there.......

Today is my first real day of true relaxation. DD is at nursery, and will be tomorrow and Thursday, I'm in pure bliss watching trashy TV, feet up, with a reflexology session booked at home for this Thursday. Going to enjoy every second till chaos ensues in just a few weeks. Planning to pack the hospital bag this afternoon - crikey it's all getting a bit more real now.....! somewhere and scarecrow you must be feeling the same - not long now!

How's everyone else badmissm, cycle, sparkly?

PS chummy I hope you're OK whatever your news today. This thread proves if nothing else, that us ladies over the age of 40 can get pregnant and have a straightforward time of it, so don't believe the hype and the doom and gloom when people say it can't happen, because it can. When I spoke to my m/w about my age, she suggested that I wasn't the oldest lady on her books BY FAR....and that she had a large number of ladies 40 plus assigned to her smile.

BadMissM Tue 19-Feb-13 13:21:51

Am trying to summon up energy to attack the spare room which has loads of stuff plied in there since we moved in December, but will have to be the nursery. have been considering this for a while. Will move off of sofa eventually!

How many of us left in here that haven't graduated yet??

I've still a while to go...18+1 today!

cyclecamper Tue 19-Feb-13 14:00:08

I'm still here - 23+4.

No work so far this week, which is nice because I have 3 weeks full time (7.45 -7 3 days and 12 - 9pm 2 days) coming up which I am not looking forward to. Mind you, with me barely working and him off sick (he went in at lunch time today for the first time in a fortnight), I'm not sure how we are going to pay the rent this month confused.

I did a lot of sorting out yesterday and rather overdid it so ended up feeling rather rough. I did manage to clear enough space in the dining room to put the tandem from the hall in there, so I don't have to lift the tandem out of the way every time I want to open the door, which is a bonus! I was mainly looking for my husband's nebuliser, which he hasn't needed since I've known him, but does need now sad, but it seems to have vanished.

Whilst I was taking things down to the cellar, he made flapjacks - yum!

Frecklers Tue 19-Feb-13 15:36:52

Hi ladies! Can I join? I'm 42 in march ( eeek!) and 12+ weeks with baby no3! It's my DH first baby, we've been married 8 years so this was a huge surprise! I've got 2 older DD's (18 & 12) from a previous marriage. ( who don't know yet) I'm waiting for my 20 week scan to be ok first. No body really knows apart from some people at work who twigged very quickly with all my vomiting!
I'm feeling blinking terrible! Nausea is a nightmare, like the worst hangover in my life! It's great to know that there are others out there my age having babies. I was starting to feel like the oldest swinger in town. What doesn't help is I'm a midwife and despite knowing that having a baby in your 40's is the new 30's, some my work colleagues have given me the "aren't you old enough to know better look"! So as well as some moral support from you to me,even us midwives have worries too.. I'm here to offer the same in return and if anyone wants it the odd bit of midwifery advice too!

chummy1 Tue 19-Feb-13 15:59:28

Thanks for your message Scarecrow.......... cannot believe my luck finding this board!

The lab mistakenly tested my blood for something else!!!! GP telephoned late yesterday ... bloods are being tested today now!!!

Knickyknocks.... Its sooooooooooooooo reassuringly to know that there are in fact lots of 40+ ladies either ttc or pregnant! thanks so much ... feeling much better and dealing with 'the flying hormones' ... if we haven't been lucky this time, we'll just keep on going... smile

Frecklers ... Congratulations.... lovely news smile I love the fact that you are a midwife and preggers at 42! That's just BRILLIANT. ! I am 41 this week.... and hope to be the oldest swinger in our village.......... oh boy will it raise some 'old fashioned' eyebrows smile .... Cyclecamper has a funny story on here about getting married at 39....

scarecrow22 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:38:51

Chummy - they whhhattt??! At least you are getting new results sharpish. Will hold breath a bit longer.

Freckler - big welcome, and love stories of love-children (our family name for lovely surprisessmile). You are v brave to offer real midwife advice. Hope we can offer reassurance and totally uninformed but well meant support in return wink

Talking of advice....can we put up a copy of that ghastly Guardian article about horrid scientists who say even one coffee a day can lower baby's bwt in snug an then deface it and throw darts? Childish but satisfying grinI noted with satisfaction same (vg) journalist once write a great piece showing you could prove almost any health theory with "science"....

somewherebecomingrain Tue 19-Feb-13 21:40:38

yessss scarecrow thoroughly obnoxious it was

scarecrow22 Tue 19-Feb-13 21:45:28

AFM woke at weekend feeling quite human and now realise how ghastly I have felt for so long. What a relief. Now a few weeks to enjoy it before sleeplessness begins...
31 wks, with 4.5 wks of work to go. Now slingshot tights at feet in hope I can catch a toe an wriggle them up. Do you think Kate will ever have to do this? Am dangerously addicted to Malteasers and rapidly heading for 3st wt gain by birth. Dis this last time and lost it eventually, but was much more (well at least a bit) toned before I began. How are you meant to get exercise if you work long hours, have a toddler and have a semi-permanent cold (--and are at heart a bit lazy--)??

MrsWooster Tue 19-Feb-13 22:02:50

Evening all. Hi, Knicky I'm another who has finally jacked in the work thing for a bit - technically on holiday (teacher) until Mat Leave starts next week but it feels COMPLETELY different. Bliss. DS is at horrible childminder Weds and Thurs for another three weeks and at my mum's on Fridays so weird empty space looms... I have wildly overcompensated by planning to do everything in the world in the next two days but suspect that there will be a bit of daydreaming going on... If not, expect the bedraggled remains of the Wooster to shamble along in a day or two. Bit of a descent into neurosis scare the other day - virtually no movements from the normally extremely volatile bump so finally phoned the day unit who were, as ever, fab and said Come On Down in true old skool fashion. After a couple of anxious minutes where mw couldn't hear heartbeat, she said " I wonder if she.?."and shifted the monitor up a foot few inches and all was ok other than baby has gone transverse which, mw told me, means a CS rather than the induction planned for 21/3. She did say it may well alter and movements are back to their comedy height so hopefully the baby is just toying with her ancient parent. Probably not for the last time...
Just in case, how long would I have to be in hosp, since am already shitting it about leaving DS overnight with a 'normal' delivery.

scarecrow22 Tue 19-Feb-13 22:28:50

Meant to add, DD is loving book "Za-Za's Baby Brother" by Lucy Cousins. It's really caught her imagination or something. Maybe just her, or age (2y 2mo nearly), but recommend a look for siblings of similar age.

<waves> to MrsW: wow you are close, though hope you see sense and enjoy some rest. Glad LO dancing around you again. Take care x

somewherebecomingrain Wed 20-Feb-13 09:52:53

Hello chummy, freckle and all.

Mrs Wooster and Knicky you are so close! The final countdown! Love the planned relaxation. It never quite works out as in ones fantasies as there's always something to do IME but it is a huge relief. Knicky really pleased to think of you getting some r&r at last. Mrs Wooster aka methuselah if your dc is anything like you it's going to be comedy gold - as far as this is possible given the exhaustion. Glad your scare turned out to be nothing. Re ELCS I don't know only had emce but I hear recovery from ELCS is much quicker.

Knicky need to scroll back and read your last post

somewherebecomingrain Wed 20-Feb-13 09:57:10

Trashy tv and reflexology Knicky - sounds divoooon! I remember someone talking about lying on the sofa eating chocolate cake when preggers - it never happened for me - are you getting some Choco cake in? Xxx

blueblackdye Wed 20-Feb-13 12:55:32

Fleckers, how dare MW say that 42 is old to have a baby ? The grads thread proves this is nonsense. Welcome and enjoy this pg.

BadMissM Wed 20-Feb-13 13:00:43

cyclecamper You put me to shame...spent an hour or so in the spare room and admitted defeat yesterday!

Freckler The midwives here ask my date of birth twenty times every appointment, as though they can't quite believe it!! Maybe we're just all old enough not to actually care what they think! I'm 45, with a 14 year old DD from previous marriage, and DH has a DS of 18 and a DD of 16 from prev marriage...

Welcome!!!

Chummy Any news? We'd about given up when I found out was pg!

Scarecrow passes darts... Is like all the articles in the Daily Mail my father swears are true...grrr!

Oh, Scarecrow, hope you are feeling better! I know, I feel like I have had a bug for months! Just so so tired all the time! I'm sure Kate has flunkies to pull her tights up her perfectly toned body! I'm struggling to put weight on (not good) because of damn diabetic diet!

MrsWooster Glad you are finally on Maternity Leave! I've been planning ambitious house rearranging, and as yet, done absolutely none of it!

Was panicking about movement, until MW said have an anterior placenta....
At least your hospital seem to be on to it straight away!

You are getting pretty close!!!

somewhere That's why I want an ELCS! They've told me they would give me an EMCS 'when they decide' (don't fancy that as have had 3 friends left for 3 days while they 'decided')....

I can do the lying on the sofa, but is more bloody oatcakes than chocolate cake. I wouldn't mind normally, but now am craving cake!!!

Just had a MW from the Opptimum project ring me...study they are doing of women who have had preterm births (less than 34 weeks). They are piloting a scheme to tects levels of fibronectin before birth (if you have a lot, you have a tendency to give birth preterm), and they will give progesterone to slow things down... that's all I know for the moment, am meeting MW when I go for scan on 6 March....

LottieH Wed 20-Feb-13 16:57:41

Hello all. Just introducing myself as a not-far-off-pensionable-age 44 year old mother to be and was recommended this link. Am pregnant with my 5th (my others are 11, 10, 8 and 5). Am 14 weeks (miscarried a twin 3 weeks ago but touch wood this one is kicking and causing me non-stop nausea!) Looking forward to chatting to you all. x

BadMissM Wed 20-Feb-13 17:39:39

Waves to LottieH. You're not the oldest, think that's either me or Mrs Wooster... I'll be 46 by the time LO arrives!

You're going to be busy! Look forward to chatting xxx

LottieH Wed 20-Feb-13 18:36:46

Oh good! When are you both due Badmiss & MrsWooster?

MrsWooster Wed 20-Feb-13 20:10:47

Hi, I am being induced on 21 March (officially due on 31/3/13) and am 46 since January so take the withered laurels for most aged, I think. Hurrah.

LottieH Wed 20-Feb-13 21:05:41

Lovely time of year for a birthday - my eldest's bd was born on 20 March - think it's the first day of spring isn't it. Hope all goes well anyway. You must be getting v excited. Is it your first or have you older ones too? x

BadMissM Wed 20-Feb-13 21:14:59

Mrs Wooster You win, not 46 till June! But we must be of a fantastic vintage, it was obviously a fantastic year smile

LottieH I'm officially due 24 July, but doubt I will go that long (DD arrived at 31 weeks!)

scarecrow22 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:27:31

Am still at work, almost crying (want to, sort of am) with missing DD today (long week), feel sick and dizzy with hunger. Sorry had to share that with somebody.

More cheerfully, a happy hello to Lottie (lovely name... adds to list). FIVE??? Flipping heck, I will not complain ever again. How wonderful though. If I'd started sooner that was how many I wanted.

MrsW congrats on the laurel. Though given your (all our) state, that should be a blooming one, surely?

Was I the only one who wanted to shout at Radio 4 today (World at One) when some pillock went on about selfish women waiting til they were 40 to try and have kids and how they had it all coming to them if they couldn't conceive. We need a corner of shame in the snug and we can string up the radio beside that article on coffee drinking smile

Right, better return to work and self-pity.... And you lot can post some more to entertain me on the train home later x

scarecrow22 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:28:55

Chummy, in case you are out there, would love to hear news. Thinking of you x

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 07:25:09

Hiya lot tie FIVE OMG.

So many newbies I can't keep up. Will get
My head round u if u keep posting so please keep posting.

Cycle - great that you have rest now and steady work later.

Wooster You are the thread elder.

Scarecrow corner of shame sounds great. Crying at work less so - if it's turned into a bad work culture because
Of external pressures that's is a sign it could be a good time
To quit - a lot of job satisfaction reflects the health of the organisation your in. Gritting teeth and waiting till it passes Will usually cost you like staying in bad relationship. But maybe your just tired from
Pg - maybe its not external.

Talking of which my dp loving his job. Loving it. Raving about it. And coincidentally the company is no 1 in uk and in healthy growth.

Xxx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 07:26:10

No 1 in it's category - it ain't Tesco! Which isn't doing so well anyway even tho vast.

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 07:27:53

Badmiss I hope this optimum project comes through and the progesterone works. It would be great if you could get nearer to term. Hope your relaxing xxx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 07:31:38

Ps scarecrow it's not scientific my theory about organisations - just my current anecdotal hobby horse. Have such anxieties about work and trying to work out why - having read a book on psychodynamic workplace coaching I think the anxieties in the organisation can determine individual experience.

Ok chatting to myself - must shut up now.

chummy1 Thu 21-Feb-13 09:21:05

Thanks for your message scarecrow............ GP had emergency yesterday,therefore STILL no news! LOL! Will hear today now!

I don't 'feel pg' sad
My Ov showed + on sunday (dilema!?!? ) therefore DTD to cover ourselves!
Boobs still sore. GP told me that sometimes the LH surge shows in OV tests when HGC is still absent. Boobs still sore but that's it! Abdo discomfort stopped. Instinct is telling me that it was an early pg that I couldn't hold onto. Hormones setted. DH not ducking anymore!! smile ... if we failed, we can start the count down to AF again!

Scarecrow : RADIO 4 is now banned from our household! judging judging judging....bad radio 4!

*Mrs Wooster & Bad MissM*: Woo Hoo..... you have given me faith!
Chatting on another board, we agreed that older mums in London seem to be socially acceptable however outside of london, we are frowned upon! Moved to the country 5 years ago and attitudes do appear to be very different! Hey ho... broad shoulders, I can take it!

Somewherebecomingrain............ still chatting away?? smile Love the name... may I ask how your developed this jaunty little title? How many weeks are you?

Freckle... are you still here??

LottieH ... Hello smile

ChairmanWow Thu 21-Feb-13 09:21:23

I'm another relative newbie. Did some posting last week than got caught in the AIBU vortex. As an opinionated madam it's been such fun.

MrsW I'm due on 15/3/13. My son was born 15/3/11. Tis a lovely time of year to be spawning. The longer days and (marginally) better weather go some way to mitigating the sleep deprivation. And who knows - we might get something resembling a summer this year!

Chummy am still keeping my fingers crossed luv.

Somewhere I concur about workplace culture. I work for a trade union so I deal with lots of different employers and workplaces. It's incredible how much of an impact this has on employees, it can be quite serious in terms of stress/depression. Sometimes it really doesn't take much to tip the balance either. I wish I could nab some of the good managers I've dealt with and parade them around as an example. Your book sounds interesting.

My news is that we we're moving house. Our final cut off date was Friday 15th Feb but the buyer has been truly horrendous and completely inconsiderate. So we've extended til next Wed or they will be waiting til the end of April (and I'll be sewing bits of placenta into the curtains and cackling dementedly grin).

I've also got to go and see a specialist because I'm measuring just over 2 weeks ahead. Don't know if they'll scan me. Anyone else had this? I'm trying not to worry or that and the move will tip me over!

eagleray Thu 21-Feb-13 10:27:02

Hello - finally sticking my head round the door of the mum-to-be snug! Sorry for such a long absence - missed you all! It is so hard to post things these days but 24 day old DD has kindly granted me a few minutes while she snoozes on the sofa...

I can see there's an awful lot of newbies - huge welcome to you all, and congratulations!

I think I wrote a few miserable posts in the early days after birth when we were in the grip of feeding/weight loss hell. Pleased to say that yesterday Baby Eagle finally reached her birthweight, although there is now some suspicion over her original birthweight! I had iv fluids during labour and it is thought that this can increase birthweight significantly. Granted, she did have feeding problems and a lot of weight loss in the days afterwards, but I now suspect that she weighed more than her natural weight and so the weightloss was interpreted as much more alarming than it actually was. Maybe I am barmy, but quite a lot of the HCPs have been a bit hmm about her recorded birthweight too. The other strange thing is that although she is only at her birthweight, she is substantially bigger and has a massive head that nearly goes off the percentile chart and makes me wince when I think about the birth

So, we are still on a mixed feeding regime, but I now have the strength and confidence to start reducing the formula and let the BF increase bit by bit.

I am not in any pain any more (first two weeks were fairly shit) and although the sleep deprivation is a daily occurrence, we are managing to get out and about a reasonable amount, in car, by pram etc.

While I'm here, I thought I would share with you some of my baby-related purchases etc that have been really useful...

Changing mat - cheap as chips, neutral and tasteful - I bought two of these and they arrived in the post next day!

Smartphone app - Total Baby: recommended to me by someone else, this has been invaluable, especially with a complicated mixed feeding regime. I use it to record nappy changes and feeds and can always see how long it's been since she was last fed, plus can also see how many hours of BF/volume of formula she's had in each 24 hour period.

Cheeky wipes - bit expensive initially, but it's been brilliant. Very easy to get baby's bum clean, and much kinder to skin than disposable wipes.

Gro bag - this is a bit of an obvious one, but DD spends a lot of time kicking off blankets and trying to remove her legs from babygros, then screaming because she's cold. Luckily, I had bought a second hand one off Ebay while pregnant and stuck her in it a couple of nights ago - huge improvement in sleeping habits!

kellymom.com/ - hugely useful website. Has everything you would ever want to know about breastfeeding!

Special hello to Scarecrow, Somewhere, BadMissM, MrsWooster, Knicky, CycleCamper and BBD, who I have spent many hours with in the virtual snug, scoffing tea and cake! I can see that quite a few of you are getting close to due date - so exciting!

And good luck to Chummy - fingers crossed for good news later

Hope to catch up with you all again soon xx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 11:47:31

Hi chairman wow the book is called 'working below the surface' or something. It's a touch exhausting - everything about work has multiple Freudian layers - so I've only read a couple of chapters but even the general gist of it is a bit of an eye opener.

Anyways back to being PG - sort of feeling ok which almost worries me.

Chummy yes keep going and if need there's a wonderful TTC thread for the over 40s if you want to check it out (obvs stay on here too) but still crossing fingers for you

Xxx

knickyknocks Thu 21-Feb-13 12:07:54

eagle sooo lovely to see you pop in! Really wonderful to hear things are settling down and that baby eagle is doing well. Very grateful for the tips - love the look of cheeky wipes aswell. Hope to be able to join you soon on the grad thread.
scarecrow you poor love. Just checked the time that you posted and said you were still at work 9.30pm?? It sounds like you're putting in incredibly long days - when are you planning to start mat leave? Being on leave has made such a difference for me (though rather annoyingly I have to go in for a full day at work tomorrow - just hope my waters don't break in the middle of one of the meetings....or maybe I do hope grin one sure fire way of wrapping the meeting up nice and quick....!) Got to say damned pleased I didn't hear that snippet on Radio 4 - I mean FFS! Doesn't it matter more that the baby will be loved and nurtured for rather than focus on the bloody age of us ladies.....??
chairman ooh I've never posted in AIBU - I'm a bit nervous to, just in case I get flamed for something - I'm such a wimp! Lovely to see you back - though must be so flipping frustrating about your move date. I think moving house is one of the most stressful things in the world esp when trying to buy and sell at the same time - I dread the time that we'll be doing it all over again but at least I won't be 8 months pregnant....hope that final cut off date means your buyer now gets a shifty on otherwise they'll deserve the placenta'd curtains.....grin)
MrsW you enjoy that you time. You and I both know it'll probably be another 10 years before we see that again grin.
Waves to freckler and lottieH you're both very welcome - lovely to have you both on board. (lottieH I had dreadful MS with both DD and this one too. Know what that's like - gentle hugs and much sympathy - mine finally passed around 18 weeks - fingers crossed yours will do the same)
somewhere are you all settled in now? Fab to hear DH is loving the job too.
Hi to cycle, chummy (still crossing fingers your news will be good news), and badmissm
AFM - I'm doing fine, a bit blinking ache-y but nearly reached 37 weeks now so what I do expect?! Loving the blissful peaceful nature of mat leave, though starting to find rolling out of bed in the morning difficult - a crane would be handy at this pointgrin. I just feel like I want to get on with things now, though still nervous at what point labour may strike. Much as I think it would be amusing to break my waters in John Lewis - I really don't want to look like I've wet myself in a public place. I'll save that for a few decades down the line grin.

knickyknocks Thu 21-Feb-13 12:10:45

X post with the lovely somewhere.

Yes somewhere is right chummy the 40+ thread in conception is fab for support, tips and helpful advice on all things conception wise if things aren't to be this time. I stayed on there for a good 18 months and the ladies are incredibly knowledgable. All that said, I still have my fingers crossed for you.

LottieH Thu 21-Feb-13 12:13:47

Am so glad I've found this thread - you all sound great, friendly, with a good sense of humour & just the sort of people who will help cheer me up as I lie in bed for days on end with crappy Hyperemesis! I've been spending most of my days listening to Radio 4 or looking at FB but can now see myself getting rapidly addicted to Mumsnet!

Eagleray congratulations on the eaglet. Know what you've gone through re the weight loss worry - although sounds like the initial over-calculation of birth weight didn't help & confused everyone. I spent many sleepless nights snivelling & worrying about all mine as they all lost shedloads of weight in the 1st few weeks & dreadful red book charts, pro-bottle MIL and anti-breast HVs didn't help. I also mixed fed for 3 of mine & then reverted to pure breast when I got my confidence back. Am now a bf peer supporter so if any of you ever need any advice or just moral support let me know.

ChairmanWow good luck with your move & of course the impending birth! We did the same - moved just before having our DD1 and remember being induced and trying to escape from hospital to go home & unpack all the boxes as there was still so much to do. I love your placenta in curtains comment!!

Chummy keeping everything crossed for you. X

Scarecrow22 re 5 its actually not as bad as it sounds as age gap has got bigger as time has gone by. DD1 is now nearly 12 and is a fantastic help - will iron the husband's shirts, make supper, read to the little ones etc (all in return for pocket money). The others are about as much help as a chocolate teapot bless them. I would always say the worst time of my child-rearing was 2 weeks after the birth of DD1 when DH had gone back to work & I hadn't a clue what I was doing. Didn't have PND but was a v difficult time. Also the months I've spent with the horrendous sickness have been dreadful (but always worth it at the end!)

ps missed World at One yesterday but would certainly have been growling at the radio if I'd heard it!

cyclecamper Thu 21-Feb-13 12:42:17

Eagleray Great to hear from you, glad baby eagle is growing well now smile.

Chummy Fingers crossed for you here too.

Scarecrow 9.30 and still at work - that's rotten! I have 3 weeks full time temping starting on monday and then I'm going to try to keep it down to 2 or 3 days a week - I feel so rotten when I get home at gone 8 - especially as most jobs start between 7.45 and 8.30 am, which often means leaving home at 6.40am. The job coming up has 2 9pm finishes a week, but I have negotiated to start at midday for most of those - normal hours are 7.45 - 7 which is bad enough! I keep telling myself how much we need the money, but it doesn't seem worth making pregnancy hard for myself the only time in my life I will be pregnant. I am trying to work out what we can cut back on so that I don't need to work for the next year or 2.

I went to the pregnancy yoga last night which was really nice. I probably won't have time to get to the next 3, but I'm definitely going to try and get to the ones after that - a bit of flexibility can't do any harm and it was nice and relaxing: it felt quite luxurious to take and hour and a half which was just for me with nothing else that I should be doing.

The dr today said that everything is going well, so that's good. I feel as though it's all moving quite fast now - GTT test booked, 25 wk midwife booked, antenatal course bookedsmile. I should have some free time in this job to go swimming, so I'm going to find out about that as well.

I have managed to vacuum the house this week, as my husband has managed to go to work in the afternoons: he has bad asthma and currently is really struggling and a nasty grey colour, so I can't clean when he's in the house because he can't breathe. It's been a while since it was this clean here!

blueblackdye Thu 21-Feb-13 14:13:20

Cyclecamper, you are amazing, working long hours and pg ! I PM you. Hope you don't mind.
Scarecrow, hope you feelbetter today. Don't stay too long at work. Unless you are self employed, no job/employer is worth it, your pg is the most important thing today. I have dedicated 5 years to my former employer, working like a donkey not counting my hours to be made redundant at the beginning of my 3rd trimester for them to make more profit by outsourcing in Easter Europe...
Chummy, hope you get good news today
LottieH, 5 kids, you are amazing ! Truly

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 15:30:36

Crossed posts with eagle - that's brilliant hon! So pleased to read you are back up and at 'em! Such good news re eaglet's weight. Very useful list - I will peruse in detail.

Knicky so glad you are peaceful - perfect. How is mr Knicky these days? Are you planning to move? Very wise to leave until after the birth is lf so - how come we all can't be so wise? Good luck for your day at work.

Sorry not to respond in detail I can't find a moment to absorb everyone's posts xxx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 16:13:38

Hey cycle great news that the doc says its looking good and appointments moving along. PG is gruelling and I can't imagine a harder job - during pregnancy - than being a nanny! So impressed you are continuing and I think its v sensible to plan to cut down. Well done for getting to pg yoga - I actually think excersise is an essential investment having not done any first time.

lottie you sound v wise - keep it coming. Are you also a midwife or is that someone else?

Xxx

swaye Thu 21-Feb-13 18:02:19

Hello ladies! May I join you? I am 40 and 9 weeks today. This is my first and I'm showing already can't believe I had to buy maternity trousers already because basically none of my bottoms fit except leggings. Was pleasantly surprised by the really comfy and flattering gear out there and the 30% discount on the jeans from GAP! So so comfy now...bliss!

MrsWooster Thu 21-Feb-13 18:16:08

Evening. Eagle, interesting insight on IV fluids and iffy birth weight... With hindsight that fits DS situation exactly. Something to be aware of this time. DS calling, so general hi to all, ta ra.

KangarooKaz Thu 21-Feb-13 19:02:17

Hello everyone, hope you don't mind if I join you smile. I'm 41 and just 5 weeks following IVF. We started trying 10 years ago so I am in a bit of shock shock really that its happened. So far so good, but this week felt tearful each day which I am putting down to hormones. I am hoping that at 40 I can be a calm mum but at the moment I feel pretty out of control of everything ahead of me so I am taking it day by day and thinking everything I feel and think is normal. I hope by joining this thread I can support others and also I hope you can reassure me too. Good luck everyone. smile

ChairmanWow Thu 21-Feb-13 19:35:54

Eagle - we had terrible trouble with DS's weight in the early days (he was admitted to hospital and on a drip at one point) but once he started gaining the weight there was no stopping him. He's a strapping healthy 23 month old now. Glad you're on your way too. It's horrible.

Swaye and Kangaroo - huge congrats! Hope you both have lovely pregnancies.

LottieH Thu 21-Feb-13 19:58:25

Kangarookaz congratulations! Yes, its quite normal for all those hormones to start kicking in now & causing you to burst into tears for what seems like no reason at all. But even without that the very fact that what you've waited for for 10 years has finally happened is certainly also good reason to make you feel like that. I think it's fantastic! X

Congratulations Swaye too and glad you've got yourself kitted out! X

Somewherebecomingrain thanks for referring to me as 'wise' :-) I'm not sure I'd describe myself as that but certainly have loads of experience both good & bad re breastfeeding. Only fed DD1 and 2 till about 6m, then DS till 2.5 then DD3 till 5 (don't laugh - never intended for her to feed for that long - it just happened that way but stopped feeding her in public long ago). Am not a midwife but I did see another new lady on here in the last few days who is. X

Knickyknocks thanks for the sympathy re the sickness. I truly hope mine also disappears by 18w like yours as I just want to be able to look after my family again and open the fridge without retching etc! Hope you are enjoying that blissful countdown to D-day! X

scarecrow22 Thu 21-Feb-13 20:14:07

Wow this is like a party (okay I don't get out much!) - lots of lovely sounding newcomers. More wisdom, more support and laughs. Welcome to the snug - and feel free to bring yummy things wink except Lottie - sorry about horrid sickness too.

Finally got home at midnight last night. Can't leave - its not that kind of job - but eta home By 8.30 today, which hmm is good for me. In fairness partic tough week as one colleague travelling, five taken half term leave (not sure how this was allowed to happen) so only me out of norm team of 7. And it's over! I am allowing myself a rare moment of (semi) pride for surviving with no visible mess ups. Er, yet. Plus now have lovely lovely friend staying for weekend - an get to hang out with DD Lots and lots!!!
Curiously I came home and bec so tired and hormonal - hurrah for another hormonal mum to be, Kangaroo, as you existing lot sound so sane to me - I sat and sobbed by DD's cot. I tied not to buy was overwhelmed by it all and missing her childhood. She didn't wake but this morning for the first time on weeks she snuggled up to me for a cuddle and was even sweeter and more gentle than usual. It was just what I needed. I swear sometimes she has a special sense for or bond with me. But maybe hormones talking nonsense.

Anyway, happy week over. Four more to go!

Baby brain forgotten all news. V selfish. Will post again, waves for now xx

scarecrow22 Thu 21-Feb-13 20:17:09

Wow this is like a party (okay I don't get out much) - lots of lovely sounding newcomers. More wisdom, more support and laughs. Welcome to the snug - and feel free to bring yummy things wink Except Lottie - sorry about horrid sickness.

Finally got home at midnight last night. Can't leave work before done - its not that kind of job - but eta home By 8.30 today, which hmm is good for me. In fairness partic tough week as one colleague travelling, five taken half term leave (not sure how this was allowed to happen) so only me out of norm team of 7. And it's over! I am allowing myself a rare moment of (semi) pride for surviving with no visible mess ups. Er, yet. Plus now have lovely lovely friend staying for weekend - and get to hang out with DD Lots and lots!!!
Curiously I came home last night and bec so tired and hormonal - hurrah for another hormonal mum to be, Kangaroo, as you existing lot sound so sane to me - I sat and sobbed by DD's cot. I tried not to but was overwhelmed by it all and missing her childhood. She didn't wake but this morning for the first time in weeks she snuggled up to me for a cuddle (she's never been a cuddler) and was even sweeter and more gentle than usual. It was just what I needed. I swear sometimes she has a special sense for or bond with me. But maybe hormones talking nonsense.

Anyway, happy week over. Four more to go!

Baby brain forgotten all news. V selfish. Will post again, waves for now xx

BadMissM Thu 21-Feb-13 20:22:51

I'll echo what somewhere said, scarecrow, if you are that unhappy at work, quit while you're ahead!

somewhere Glad to hear that DP loving new job!

Chummy Do you know yet??????

I'm also a long way from London (where I'm from). At home my age wouldn't raise an eyebrow, here it seems to make me a circus freak!

ChairmanWow The workplace culture thing...I'm going through the world's longest employement tribunal without the benefit of a union, as they dumped me the day before the first case hearing... having failed to deliver the caseform to their solicitors for 2 years...

I was ahead because of gestational diabetes...had DD at 31 weeks and she was still over 3kg....

eagleray Sounds like everything going so much better now! 'Waves'!!!!

somewhere I would agree with work having freudian layers...my last job completely buggered my head on many levels....

knicky You must be so glad to finally be on Mat Leave! Have a blissful couple of weeks relaxing!

Lottie It is damned addictive...I only joined Mumsnet a couple of months ago!

Am hoping my 14 year old DD suddenly becomes fantastically helpful when the LO is born...time will tell!

cyclecamper Sounds like you are getting on brilliantly now. Think you're wise keeping the full-time work to a minimum if you can...sounds like they have everything in control at your end!

Cleaning, what is this cleaning you speak of (lol)? Our house is so vertical, and our hoover so damn heavy, anything above ground level may be dustier than intended...

BBD I agree with what you said to scarecrow No employer is worth that level of commitment unless it's yourself! Like BBD, I gave 6 years to last employer working more than I should, for crap pay, and they thanked me by disciplining me for nothing and dismissing me on made-up grounds...

Waves hello to Swaye!!!

Waves to KangarooKaz You must be sooooooo happy!

Lottie Hope sickness easing off!

I'm now 18 +3 and have begun to feel some baby wiggles now. Downright pokes in bed last night! Don't have scan til 6 March though....

scarecrow22 Thu 21-Feb-13 20:27:58

Eagle fab to hear your good news.
Cycle, Knicky, et al thanks for kind words - cycle my hours long but I salute you doing such long days with children. Presumably tougher because temp so you won't know them, or are you that much of a pro? Glad work if you need it though.
Somewhere (are you going to fess up about your name or am I wrong about PL?!) really interesting ideas about work anxiety. It makes wise sense to me re anxieties if organisation - we are shedding staff, a friend in maternity leave has had her job axed and we have balloted for industrial action. Tumult literally and emotionally upsetting how things run above me, with notable impact on me and colleagues. But I know no other life and would love it if it calmed down. I think! Scaredy cat.
Chairman you are v v v brave to go on AIBU. I am actually scared of those ladies shock

scarecrow22 Thu 21-Feb-13 22:41:39

Cross posted, BadMiss, but had been wondering where you'd gone. Glad to hear not spring cleaning! Waves

somewherebecomingrain Thu 21-Feb-13 23:05:48

chummy scarecrow yes it's from PL whitsun weddings - after they marry the go off "like a shower of arrows somewhere becoming rain". picked the name whilst trying to conceive and it seemed appropriate. Us ordinary folk setting off on our journey with our hopes and dreams of fertility and perpetuating the life cycle.

swaye and kangarooz welcome and congratulations!

lottie big sympathies re sickness - it was all i could talk about in great detail for the three months i had it and everyone was v sympathetic so pleased to return that favour - feel free to let of steam about it!

scarecrow v sweet re DD - magical

xx

MrsWooster Fri 22-Feb-13 09:02:43

Somewhere that is beautiful (the Larkin thing, not the sick...). As an English teacher I should have recognised it but clearly am not as good as I thought I was!

swaye Fri 22-Feb-13 09:15:57

Thanks for the welcomes and congrats everyone!!

KangarooKaz, I was right where you are 4 weeks ago. It was such a shoclk to be pregnant, we didn't think we could for several reasons and then bam!! I was crying for about 2 weeks but it passed and now I am happy - still nervous but happy. I thought I was going crazy crazy crazy!! It does pass and it is the hormones xx

ChairmanWow Fri 22-Feb-13 09:39:10

MissM, sorry to hear you're not getting ET support. I hope this isn't horribly stressful for you

Scarecrow - good to see you all sticking up for your colleague. Awful that the woman on mat leave is being targetted. Hope you win, and that things calm down. I'd stay away from AIBU if things are too hectic. They are a tough bunch. Had my first flaming yesterday for standing up to breastfeeding zealots. Ouch!!

So, we'll find out today whether we're moving before the baby. We've given next Tuesday as the last day we're prepared to move. Ridiculous that it's the Friday before and we don't know yet, but that's evil buyers for you. Husband off today packing. Possibly unpacking later! We're both very incensed. DH thinks we should leave some cat poo under the kitchen units. I'm plumping for used cat litter in the washing machine. Only joking. I think...

BadMissM Fri 22-Feb-13 11:53:32

MrsW and I, as a fellow English teacher, was hanging my head in shame at not recognising it! I'm obviously seriously out of practice. Though did recognise several poems DD has been doing in English from nothing but her garbled descriptions, which made me feel better!

Waves to scarecrow! Don't worry, was only contemplating spare room clean because have't unpacked half of it (my clothes and shoes, done all the hosue stuff!), and because I need to use it for a nursery and I need space for -all the baby things I seem to have been buying- the LO!

somewhere That's a beautiful name... makes mine very simplistic!

Welcome Swaye!

ChairmanWow Has basically been extremely stressful and constant since 2007, with no sign of an end yet... it was I'm sure major contributory factor in me losing twins 2 years ago. I'm currently trying to let it go right over my head as much of it is out of my control.... I am determined it is not going to ruin his pregnancy as it has done for much of mine and DD's lives the past 6 years...

I'm scared of the AIBU ladies, after I was flamed for sticking up a little for postmen (and attempting to explain why they do things- DH a postie).

OMG they have still not told you when they are moving? Definitely 'dead fish in the curtain poles' time!

Pompom111 Fri 22-Feb-13 13:57:33

Hi, I've been lurking in the background for a while reading your threads and I've decided to join as I'm desperate for advice, I'm 43 and 6 weeks 4 days pregnant, this will be my 6th baby my others are aged 22,18,10,6 and 2, my problem is even though I've taken 3 pregnancy tests all positive i just don't feel pregnant, I've always had morning sickness by 6 weeks with my others and I just don't have any symptoms, I did have a miscarriage a few years ago at 8 weeks and I remember at the time I hadn't had morning sickness upto when it happened, so now I'm thinking is the same going to happen again, I was just wondering if anyone else started with morning sickness after 6 weeks?

LottieH Fri 22-Feb-13 14:06:09

Somewherebecomingrain thanks re the sickness. Bizarrely this morning it hasn't been too bad and woke up at 5am with a major craving for tinned salmon so went downstairs & polished off half a large tin of it! Now panicking that something is wrong if sickness goes .... never happy!

Seeing all your posts about AIBU. Can anyone tell me where their thread is - they sound amusing & terrifying in equal measure!

BadmissM which county are you in? It is interesting to work out where the most prejudiced are living! I'm in Essex but I'm constantly surprised by reactions - it's often been the people I least expect to be accepting to be not and vice versa. The MIL's exact words on DH's announcement take the biscuit: "Oh God - you SILLY FOOL", followed by "how are you going to cope?" (she has a good point as I only have 4 children already, therefore v little experience of children, no cot, no car seat, no clothes etc). Conversation ended with her advising him to "get himself chopped off". Here endeth my rant. She is nice sometimes...

Hope your DD will be helpful with the new addition - the cash incentive certainly did the trick with mine (but only once she'd assured me she'd done her homework in a non-slapdash way).

Great you're feeling wrigglings. Am so looking forward to that bit!

Scarecrow what a long workday you have and what a sweet DD too; she must have totally tuned into how you were feeling yesterday morning, bless her.

LottieH Fri 22-Feb-13 14:10:55

Pompom. Don't fear the worst as my sickness started at different times. It could well be that your body is particularly fit & healthy this pregnancy and therefore isn't making you feel sick as you have all the nutrients you need right now. Why don't you ask your mw for an early scan at the EPU for peace of mind? x

Pompom111 Fri 22-Feb-13 14:41:03

Hi, thanks, I haven't even been to the doctors yet incase anything happens, think I will make an appointment, explain how worried I am, and see about an early scan to at least put my mind at rest like you say, thanks lottie

BadMissM Fri 22-Feb-13 15:55:49

Lottie Much further north...am in Lancashire! Everyone thinks I'm mad though...

AIBU can be found at... http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable

Glad to hear the sickness easing off!

Waves to Pompom111!

ChairmanWow Fri 22-Feb-13 16:35:44

MissM so sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. That must have been so painful. I hope this pregnancy is going well and you're not feeling too worried. And that there is an end in sight with your case soon!

Pompom I didn't get sickness til 8 weeks with my first and it wasn't that much. Didn't get sore boobs or much else either apart from rhinitis. This time, crippling nausea from 7 weeks. I know women who hardly had any nausea at all but we're desperate to feel sick so it gave them more confidence. It's a weird old game this pregnancy lark.

iclaudius Fri 22-Feb-13 20:46:05

Pompom I have had Pgs without and miscarriages WOTH morning sickness - try not to fret - I'm one to talk but was at the scan place ( private) at 6.0 weeks with both my last two Pgs!
I am pg now and had no tiredness no sickness no nothing till 11-12 weeks and indeed my hormone levels are low but still sustaining a pg
I know it's a stress - did you say you were on your 6th ? There's a few of us bigger families around!
Oh - and welcome !!!!

iclaudius Fri 22-Feb-13 20:48:14

Badmiss I am wondering where your dd goes to school as despite going to a great school now we are mooting ds going to Lancashire for sixth form. Not wanting to out either of us but do PM me if you have any info I should know about local schools ;)

butterybiscuitbass Fri 22-Feb-13 21:42:51

Hello 40+ mums, I've come to join you- lord knows I need some peers! I had my first 6 weeks off my 40th birthday, followed by 3 MC's, then a second son when I was 43. Didn 't expect to be blessed with a 3rd, but now happy to be 21 weeks pg with my 3rd! I'm 44.

I've had a lot of mixed reactions to my, or should I say our, choice to start a family in our 40's, but to us the time is right (as well as tight!) and it feels good. I don't know anyone like me though I have to say. Anyway, hello smile

KangarooKaz Fri 22-Feb-13 22:23:15

Wow thanks for the MASSIVE welcome everyone - after a long day to log on and find you all chatting was lovely smile. Well the good news is no tears today so the hormones are being good . I have however been thinking ahead and as I think I will probably over analyse everything about this pregnancy as the weeks go buy I want to give myself something to look forward to and keep me busy as it gets closer and I am potentially more nervous......SO I have decided to buy the box set of the original series of Dallas for later down the line to keep my brain occupied when I am putting my feet up. I figured its 14 series of about 10 episodes and should keep me busy. That is unless I am running around like a headless chicken preparing for new baby arrival. I am sure someone can give me a reality check smile.

Remnant if you are still reading I hope you are ok and I am so sorry to hear your news.

Sparkly i hope it all works out for what you want in the end

Gracie survivor lady - life is moving on with happy times ahead

Lottie H Thanks for the reassurances you are giving about hormones and morning sickness - glad to have you around and good luck with your new addition, I am sorry about your twin x

Scarecrow my DH said to me yesterday "having a baby will not change our lives, lets face it we are boring gits" so I will join you in the excitement about the party. Enjoy more of those cuddles with your DD. I echo others re the working hours. If you are energised by it because you are doing something you love that's fine but if you are doing it because you feel a pressure that is being put on you by others or yourself just check in with yourself about what is important to you right now and use that to guide what you do. Be happy that is most important. 4 weeks.....not long now.

BadMissM waves back and I am not sure how it works connecting on these forums but if I can help you in anyway for what is happening with you right now then let me know. I am a coach and have a HR background. Whatever happens being able to deal with the little triggers you get inside that make you uptight will be key. Hear things people say in this tribunal, let it pass over you and respond with what you want guided by your purpose for doing this tribunal. Someone passed on a Buddha quote to me recently - "if you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are calm you are in the present" it helped me anyway. Hope it sorts out soon so you can really relax.

Somewhere I did Larkin at School and this is a lovely name I agree with the others. I was sitting here thinking what are the ones I remember from school so I quickly looked them up and found one that was a favourite with the kids in the class becuase it contained naughty words not for reprinting with such young ears listening in from our tummies.

Swaye I am right behind you (4 weeks then)learning from your experiences and here if you need to step back to join me 4 weeks earlier for a chat anytime.

Pompom good luck with number 6 - you and others who have had lots of babies give me confidence to be a brave woman and do the labour thing even though I think it has scared me for years and is probably why it has taken a long time

chummy I'm also crossed for you x

Chairman enjoy this time before baby - not long now I am gathering from the thread???

Mrs W, BBD, Freckler, I claudius and anyone I missed on the thread. Big introductory hello waves to all. I am being called so I have to run now.......catch you later

ChairmanWow Fri 22-Feb-13 22:46:46

Kangaroo box sets rule! I remember sitting up watching every series of 30 Rock when I had insomnia last time. And the Wire. Dec the way forward.

Butterybiscuitbass hello! I can't get Greg Wallace's voice out of my head now! Congrats on baby number 3. Hope you're feeling well and not getting too much judgy age-related silliness.

Soooo, the house move is now on, or as our solicitor has said, 99% on. We found out at 4pm today. Can't tell you how relieved we are at not having to do this with newborn in tow, but so pissed off at being dangled along by our stupid, selfish buyers. Any suggestions on sabotage welcome grin. They think they can mess a heavily pregnant hormonal woman around - they will rue the day!

sparklysapphire Sat 23-Feb-13 01:01:12

Wow it's been busy on here this week. Due to work and family visiting I haven't had chance to post, but I've tried, not necessarily successfully, to keep up.

MissM, I can't understand why your hospital is so unwilling to consider an ELCS. Is it a cost thing? Surely ending up with a EMCS costs more in the end than a planned one, and anyway the whole point is that it's elective, therefore you should be able to choose it if you have a reason too, and you surely do.

Knicky, despite having to work today, I hope you're thoroughly enjoying your maternity leave, and making the most of the next few weeks.

Chairman, have you got a moving date? It's ridiculous you're being so messed around, do the buyers not know you're pregnant, and even if they don't, they shouldn't be messing you around like this.

Somewhere, how is your DS's hand? Any more news?

Eagle, lovely to hear from you, glad things are going better with the feeding.

Welcome to kangaroo, lottie, buttery, freckler, swaye & pompom. Pompom, I'm nowhere near as experienced as you at being pregnant - this is my 3rd, but I've had no nausea at all this time. I felt terrible in the first trimester with DD, and my first pregnancy ended in m/c and I had no sickness then either, so I was convinced this would be the same. Even though I've seen the baby twice on scans, I'm still not wholly convinced I'm pregnant, which is ridiculous! Lottie, your MILs reaction was "interesting", it's not like you're teenagers....

I missed the call from the hospital yesterday, due to the rubbish mobile reception where I work, so I had to listen to the voicemail 3 times to check that the midwife really did say that my low risk Down's result is 1 in 20,000. This seems so absurdly low, that I'm going to double check on Monday. I haven't told DH yet, and it will no doubt spark another round of silences and tears. This week has been ok, but the fundamental issue remains. We were at MILs last weekend so got to go for lovely, but cold, beach walks and part of me was thinking, what if it was the last time we got to do that as a family? MIL has been threatening to take us to Florida and do the Disney thing for a while - she really wants to take DD, but I'm not that keen. DH reckoned by the time this one is old enough to appreciate it, MIL won't be up to going. The upshot is we are going for 2 weeks at Easter and she's paying for the whole trip. I know I should be grateful, but I'm pretty daunted at spending two weeks plus with her. We didn't tell her - I haven't told any of my family yet, though I did tell another friend at work. I've got no idea how my family'll react but I want to tell them in person, and they're not nearby, so more travelling beckons. I'm in no hurry to go public under the circumstances, though I realise nature will eventually make the decision for me!

Hi to cycle, mrsW, chummy, scarecrow & BBD, apologies if I've missed anyone.

ChairmanWow Sat 23-Feb-13 05:22:28

Awake since 4 thinking about the frigging house! Sorry Sparkly should have said, the move is on Tues. Thus was the final, final deadline we have having extended it twice. I'll be 37+4 and with a 23 month old in tow. Such fun! We had a nightmare booking a removal firm at such short notice and are paying way over the odds.

Sparkly that's great news about your Downs risk. I bet few women of any age get odds that long. Such a shame you can't celebrate it with your partner. I'm assuming things are still the same. I wonder if having it out in the open when you do tell everyone will actually make him start to accept it. He'll have to talk about it with friends and family, perhaps some positivity from others will wake him up a bit or at least convince him this isn't the end of the world. Hope so.

ChairmanWow Sat 23-Feb-13 05:23:28

This not thus.

knickyknocks Sat 23-Feb-13 09:55:50

Gosh it's been busy in here - fantastic stuff - prroving those doom and gloom daily mail type articles that the over 40's have no chance in concieving.

Hello to all the newcomers kangaroo, pompom, swaye and buttery (hope I haven't forgotten anyone).

sparkly I wonder if getting it all out in public would help the situation - like chairman says it then forces him into talking about it. Plus usually grandparents and the like are excited and positive about a new arrival. Maybe MIL knowing will be for the best? Do you have any idea how you think she'll take the news? BTW fab fab fab about the risk of downs - such low risk thanks.
chairman HURRAH! You're on the move! Yes, with 23 month in tow and 37 +4 but thank god, it's not hanging over you with a newborn. Just make sure your job on the day is to keep topping all and sundry up with cups of tea and hobnobs. Suspect that by the end of next week you'll be absolutely shattered. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.
kangaroo loving the sound of those box sets for later on in the pregnancy!
somewhere how are you? How's DS these days? Yes, Mr Knicky is fine rather more sympathetic to his slow moving waddling wife these days. He's tending to bath DD when he's home, do the shopping and hoovering so can't complain.

Did my full day at work yesterday and I'm now shot of that place for about a year grin. 3 weeks tomorrow with my due date. Hospital bag is packed. Full routine for DD left on fridge for whoever will be doing DD duties whilst I'm in the throws of labour. Keep having a few small panics that the LO will be here soon and I'll be dealing with two (I feel a little silly saying that given LottieHs wonderful 5!) But, for the most part I'm keen to get onto the next stage now - not so keen for the labour of course - but have had enough of wincing every time I bend over to put shoes on and moving at the rate of a heavily pregnant snail.......

Hello to everyone else scarecrow (not long till mat leave for you!), iclaudius, lottieH (hope the nausea is weakening it's grip and if not that it will do soon.....), badmissm and anyone else I've inadvertently missed off!

As it's Saturday morning, there's a fresh plate of warmed buttery croissants and jammy pastries for everyone in the snug, with latte's being served by Daniel Craig in his blue swimming trunks (hope he doesn't spill anything....). George Clooney is offering foot rubs to anyone who'd like one grin.

scarecrow22 Sat 23-Feb-13 14:46:19

Welcome to lots of lovely sounding new-fab 40s: kangaroo, Lottie, buttery, freckles, swaye, pompom - and sorry if I've missed any. Come back and remind me.

The list of us all is a bit out of date, even Sparkly isn't on it. But here it is, (a) to help you "meet" the old oldies, and (b) so you can post your details when you are ready to be added - now or after 12 week scans, as preferred.

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
Bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey, 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor, 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget, 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby” 45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen, 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz
Crazyforbaby, 44, DC6 in Dec
ClickingTock, 40, DC2, a girl, early Jan
Eagleray, 41, DC1, girl, Jan
Damash12, 41, DC2, due 29 Jan ELCS booked 17/1
Riversidelibrary, 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy

AWAITING UPDATE
Swanlike, 41, 31/1

PG
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks, 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster, 46, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Somewherebecomingrain, 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22, 42, DC2 due 22/4 prob ELCS
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Cyclecamper, 42, due July/Aug
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
Remnant, 43, DC2, due Sept
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept

See, I said it was like a party smile

chummy1 Sat 23-Feb-13 17:01:58

Wow Scarecrow22 .... that's impressive commentary!

I spent yesterday licking my wounds. Test was neg. Zero HCG. Goodness knows where my missing period went ...and as for the sore boobs etc ......who knows!!!! alas we are back on the hamster wheel sad
All is not lost. AF due in about one week....! Its in the hands of the gods now....

I would like to thank everyone for the invaluable support provided on this brilliant thread!

Hope to be in a position to legitimately join 'your club' soon

Good luck to all xxx