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Missed miscarriage

(262 Posts)
C4ALR Tue 16-Oct-12 22:12:01

I have found out today I have had a missed miscarriage. I still have the foetus in my womb. I have opted to pass it naturally instead of surgery but a now bit scared as unsure what to expect?
Am I going to go to the toilet and pass a large clot?
Please help sad

sundaesundae Tue 16-Oct-12 22:40:22

[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage]

Lots of info and advice over here, I am so sorry for your news.

Smallgreenone Wed 17-Oct-12 03:33:20

I'm so sorry. I had a missed miscarriage and waited to pass everything naturally. For me it started with light bleeding followed by a day of nasty cramps and then that night very painful cramps and quite a lot of blood and clots. I'd never had a mc before and found it quite frightening. I had also stupidly gone to Amsterdam with some girlfriends and ended up going to hospital there as was worried I was losing too much blood- I wasn't you will feel like you lose a lot. The next day was much better, no pain and lighter blood loss.
It's awful though and you have my deepest sympathies. X

mummy2benji Wed 17-Oct-12 07:58:36

So sorry love sad I had a mmc last December but I opted for a d&c so I couldn't give you my personal experience of medical management. It is a distressing time either way. x

3rdtimelucky73 Wed 17-Oct-12 10:42:10

Mine at 7 weeks was similar to Smalls.

Light bleeding, period pain for a couple of days, followed by two days of contraction type pain, heavy bleeding and eventually passing the products (this only happened when I went to the toilet when I felt something heavy on my cervix).

The hospital were able to give me some much needed painkillers, I think they were just co-codamol though.

I am really sorry for your loss, I hope you have someone to be with you through this. x

C4ALR Wed 17-Oct-12 11:41:50

Thank u for ur replies, yes I do hav a partner that is trying so hard to support me, my mum and dad r great too but none of them really understand how I feel I dont think.
I started bleedin sat night, I havent really had very heavy bleeding yet, had somr clots not big tho and only wen I hav a bath I notice them. Got worse cramps today and feel really sick x
Sorry to hear bout ur losses too I feel for u, I wudnt wish this pain on my worst enemy x

janey1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 12:01:00

So sorry to hear of your loss. I had a mmc at 12 weeks a year ago, and it's awful. I chose to have an operation, but nature decided to take its course on the way to hospital, so ended up doing it naturally.
What you've already been told is good advice. You will bleed a LOT, and I was surprised at how painful it was at times (NOT like period pains in my case...). Take it very easy indeed - I was in hospital (due to planned op) and tried to check out that afternoon and ended up nearly passing out as I left and being re-admitted - all the blood loss combined with stairs and quick walking to get out of there was too much for me I think. Don't be surprised at how long it takes for you to feel stronger physically, take as much time off work as you need/can. I did it all on my own (ex-P lived abroad, as did my parents and brother, refused to let friends near for some reason) and with hindsight that was very silly - so let people help you, it does make a difference.
Emotionally, it DOES get easier with time, I promise.
So sorry for what you're going through - lots of support here should you need it. x

C4ALR Wed 17-Oct-12 12:08:09

Thank you for your support, im feelin very sick today and feeling like I jus want it over.
I seem ok one minute then the next im cryin, with pain in my stomach and heart. Iv never felt so much pain.
Sorry to go on I feel I need to keep talkin about it. How do u get over this?
I keep thinking, I was only 6 wks wen he/she died, now I wud b 8 wks, so was it a baby yet, hav I lost my baby or was it.not formed yet? Should I feel this bad, I prob am not makin sense I cant fink straight at the moment x

janey1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 12:37:58

Nothing can explain how bad you're feeling, but we understand. I won't lie to you, I found it absolutely heartbreaking, and if I think about it even now, I still cry. BUT I promise you it does get better and bearable - it just takes time.
I managed to get some counselling though work to help me (about three months on - I didn't cry at the time and just bottled it all up, which with hindsight was very silly) but it might be worth asking if your hospital offer any support or counselling - mine did but I didn't accept it at the time.

You're absolutely not going on, far from it. You're going through a horrible horrible horrible thing, and to be realistic you can't even start to think about 'getting over it' until the painful, messy physical side of it is over. And that will take time.

Be easy on yourself, don't try to decide how you should or shouldn't feel: you feel how you feel, and that's that.

Cry if you want to, for as long as you want to. I didn't/couldn't and I think it made it harder in the long run.

Lean on people around you, and look for more support (in real life, through counselling, or on here) if you need it.

You WILL get through this and you WILL feel 'normal' again. Just don't expect it to be tomorrow.... (hugs)

x

bex2011 Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:34

I had a mmc last week. I had had a scan that showed a 5 week old foetus but should have been 11 weeks. I passed it all naturally, with a little intervention from the consultant, but no d&c or medical management. I bled a lot, way more than the 'heavy' period some people report.

My advice would be to have someone with/near you at all times and if the bleeding is heavy, contact the hospital.

Take time off work after if you can for some afternoon naps and you time.

janey1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 14:07:48

Hope you're OK bex. It's awful how horribly common it is.

C4ALR Wed 17-Oct-12 15:24:56

Thanks janey, u seem like a lovely lady. Very caring. Iv jus been to tesco had to get some shoppin, I feel like iv ran a marathon now, exhausted emotionly and physically.
Sounds likr u dealth wiv it differntly than me, shows how everyone copes differently.

Bex I can imagine u r feelin like me at the.moment cos its very fresh in ur life, and it is scary, u dnt realise how common this is until it happens to u. Do u feel like its got any easier yet? X

C4ALR Wed 17-Oct-12 15:27:12

Thanks janey, u seem like a lovely lady. Very caring. Iv jus been to tesco had to get some shoppin, I feel like iv ran a marathon now, exhausted emotionly and physically.
Sounds likr u dealth wiv it differntly than me, shows how everyone copes differently.

Bex I can imagine u r feelin like me at the.moment cos its very fresh in ur life, and it is scary, u dnt realise how common this is until it happens to u. Do u feel like its got any easier yet? X

janey1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 15:45:39

Like I said, don't underestimate how much it takes out of you. After the worst of it I tried to unload the dishwasher that evening, and was completely out of breath and felt sick after lifting about four plates out. It's not like having a period, so don't treat it as such. It's exhausting and you need to take it easy, please try to do as little as possible.

If you ever need anything just PM me. x

C4ALR Wed 17-Oct-12 15:59:24

Yer I will, im laid on sofa wiv cuppa tea and a film, which is where im intendin to stay for a bit. Thanks for talking to me.
X

janey1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 16:08:58

Any time. x

StrawbsAndCream Wed 17-Oct-12 17:37:28

I'm so sorry hun, it is really the worst feeling ever isn't it? I had a mmc at nearly 13 weeks last month after 19 months ttc, I went to the hospital as I had slightly brown discharge and hadn't yet had my 12 week scan, the scan showed baby had stopped growing at nearly 9 wks and no heartbeat :-(

I opted to have an erpc as the discharge had stopped and there were no signs of it happening naturally, so can't really help with that, just wanted to let you know as well that you aren't alone, it sadly is so common, I didn't realise until I came on here and saw all the ladies that have been through it too. I am still struggling and don't really go a day without crying about it, but it has only been 6 weeks and it is a lot better than it was so just hang in there lovely xxx I remember the 2 days in between finding out and having the op, it was such a strange feeling still being pregnant but knowing the baby wasn't alive, it's so hard. It's really good you have support, I don't what I'd have done without my DF and family. Make sure you carry on lazing about on the sofa! I had 2 weeks off work and probably needed more, and make sure you have some strong painkillers and lots of pads, so awful that we have to think of these things isn't it, I thought I was done with pads and stuff until next year! If you do end up having to have an erpc,( which you probably won't) feel free to ask any questions like the other lovely ladies have said, we are all here for you xxx

mummy2benji Wed 17-Oct-12 17:56:28

I found it very hard emotionally at the time, when I had my mmc last December. Mine was discovered at 8 weeks. I had a d&c and the hospital have a system with the local council where any remains are cremated with a number of others and the ashes are scattered at a local cemetary. They told me this might not happen until 6-8 weeks after my d&c, as it only took place every couple of months, but after that I would know it had happened. So 2 months after my mmc I went to the cemetary and just walked around it, and liked being able to associate that place with my baby that wasn't to be. I think they will always be your baby, or the baby that you didn't have, but after a while you gain a sense of peace about it and appreciate that the pregnancy didn't continue for a reason, whatever that might have been. I am 38+4 now and at peace with the miscarriage - this baby doesn't cancel the hurt of the previous loss, but I won't forget that baby and believe that one day I might meet them in heaven, you never know. x

cogitosum Wed 17-Oct-12 18:02:02

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I had mmc in June. I had erpc and still had quite heavy bleeding and pain so be easy on yourself. If you ever need to offload I found posting here really helpful. Thinking of you xxx

C4ALR Wed 17-Oct-12 21:16:54

Thanks ladies, its really nice to no ive got support on here. And again im so sorry for ur losses.
I do agree it has happened for a reason but it doesnt make it any easier does it.
I was scared about having the dc, the nurse was giving the statistics of thinga goin rong and scared me too much x

janey1234 Thu 18-Oct-12 11:06:31

You've just got to make the choice of what seems right for you at the time. How are you getting on today?

C4ALR Thu 18-Oct-12 14:58:23

I feel a little better today, been out with my mum this morning, only cried once so far today so better than yday but who knows what tomoro wil bring. Thanks for asking how I am x

janey1234 Thu 18-Oct-12 16:48:50

Ups and downs I suspect, ups and downs. We're here for the bad days, and with time, you'll have more and more of the good ones.

C4ALR Thu 18-Oct-12 18:34:05

Yer I no that deep down, il b fine in time smile

3rdtimelucky73 Thu 18-Oct-12 22:34:16

Glad you've had a better day today C4ALR, it does get easier.

Don't feel bad for 'going on' - I'm a newbie round here, but can already see that people will listen and do understand.

C4ALR Fri 19-Oct-12 09:53:37

Goin by ur name hav u had 2?
Everyonw on here seems lovely and obviously understand x

C4ALR Fri 19-Oct-12 11:49:09

Im havin bad stomach cramps this morning, I had them really bad wed night but they went off, y does it come and go wiv days apart. This has been goin on nearly a week now, the bleeding and pains, iv had enough x

janey1234 Fri 19-Oct-12 12:07:17

You poor thing, are you in agony? Did the hospital give you any painkillers? I guess it will keep going until everything has gone. I was 'lucky' because the really bad pains only lasted about one day. I don't know but if it goes on too long, or becomes unbearable call your GP, NHS direct, or your hospital ward?

x

C4ALR Fri 19-Oct-12 13:00:31

The hospital told me to take paracetomol anf ibroprophen (cant spell that) the pain has gone off abit now, had a bath took tablets and laid dwn. I dnt seem to be passin anything tho only few little clots wen I wash myself in the bath. I dnt understand if I will defantly pass a large clot or not? X

janey1234 Fri 19-Oct-12 14:46:52

I really don't know, I'm sorry. I can tell you what happened to me though - sorry if TMI.

The pain seemed to get worse every time I was passing large clots; once they'd gone it eased for a while, until the next one. There was a lot of blood - every time I went to the loo (which at points was every 10 mins or so) there was lots and I could feel clots passing (sorry TMI). The bleeding then carried on for about another week or so, but after a couple of days was just like a normal period...

3rdtimelucky73 Fri 19-Oct-12 19:13:14

Yes C4ALR you're right. Currently third pregancy (about 10 weeks) lost a baby at 39 weeks in 2005 and had a MC at 7 weeks in August this year.

I will echo what janey says, my pain came in waves over several days and was much worse leading up to a trip to the loo to pass clots (I think this is your cervic opening/stretching to allow it to pass).

I was given co-codamol (codeine & paracetamol) towards the end and they were really helpful with the pain and it also helped me at the time to feel a little out of it too.

Be strong, thinking of you x

C4ALR Fri 19-Oct-12 19:23:58

I hope everything goes ok for u this time, fingers crossed,.i cant imagine what it would be like to hav a mc in late pregnancy, id imagine its awful, I am so so sorry for you 3rd time lucky.
Its reassurin to no it is normal for it to come and go, I hadnt until an hour ago actually passsd any clots unless like I sed earlier,i was in the bath.
The pain has become a dull ache now, but I am dosed up with pain killers. X

3rdtimelucky73 Sun 21-Oct-12 10:45:33

Thanks C4ALR I am trying failing not to worry... Time will tell.

How are you feeling today?

janey1234 Sun 21-Oct-12 11:38:10

How you doing today? In much pain? Really hope not. Thinking if you

janey1234 Sun 21-Oct-12 11:39:04

And you too third time - cant imagine how awful for you that late loss would have been, tragic. Got everything crossed for you too xx

C4ALR Sun 21-Oct-12 11:57:33

Hi ladies, I was in pain most of the night last night, but I think things r beginning to happen as I was bleedin more and losing quite a few clots durin the night.
I feel spaced out and drowsy this mornin as I took 2 co codamol bout 9 cos of the pain, so feel rough that way but least theyve stopped my belly ache.

3rd time lucky, try really hard not to worry it must b so difficult not too but ur name says it all so I really hope it goes well.

Thank you both of you for supporting me I am finding it really helpful x

3rdtimelucky73 Sun 21-Oct-12 12:43:04

Thanks Janey and C4ALR (again).

Yes, it does sound like it is starting. I hope it's not too painful and is over relatively quickly. It is an awful thing to go through, but once the physical side is over I hope you can start to grieve and heal. I think the painkillers sped the process for me, as I was less physically tense and I think this was stopping things happening.

Once it was over, I hid in the spare bedroom for three days in darkness, I'm NOT recommending this at all, but it was all I could cope with. I needed some quiet space to grieve and when I came out I could talk to DP and function better.

Do you have to go back for a scan at some stage to check everything?

C4ALR Sun 21-Oct-12 13:15:50

I do feel like I need it over now so I can grieve and try to move on with the future.

I hav got to go back for a scan.on 30th oct to c if it has all come away then go from there I spose. I was on treatment to become pregnant cos iv got pcos so not sure where I go from here to try again x

3rdtimelucky73 Sun 21-Oct-12 21:22:14

You will be able to move on, but take your time and be kind to yourself.

Are you being supported by DP?

Hope you can start TTC again soon if that's what you decide.

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 09:08:21

Dp? Sorry not good wiv short hand, ha.

The nurse was goin to find out wats next for us for wen I go bac on the 30th.

3rdtimelucky73 Mon 22-Oct-12 10:57:10

DP= partner? I know you've mentioned support from your mum, was just asking what other support you had.

How are you feeling today?

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 12:48:26

Oh sorry im bit stupid sometimes,ha.
Yer I do hav a great partner, he is tryin his best, bless him. x

3rdtimelucky73 Mon 22-Oct-12 13:08:22

Good to hear it x

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 14:09:12

How about u hav u had good support throughout ur troubles x

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 14:10:05

How about u hav u had good support throughout ur troubles x

janey1234 Mon 22-Oct-12 14:34:40

Glad you've got a partner as well as your family. It doesn't make it any less upsetting, but being alone is the worst at times like this...
Physically are you feeling any better today? x

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 14:57:58

At the moment yes, about an hour ago I had abit of pain, passed a few clots but one of them had a some white colour to it, it wasnt very big, only a couple of mms but dunno wat it was, the pain went off after that abit x

janey1234 Mon 22-Oct-12 15:21:58

You're brave to look - I just flushed every time and didn't look grin(
I'm really hoping the pain is over soon for you - it must be awful to have it drag on so long. I was 'lucky' I guess in that it was painful - incredibly so at times - for 24 hours, but then the horrible pain stopped and I was just left with what felt like a heavy period, with a dull ache that was very manageable.

For what it's worth you sound very brave, and that you're coping pretty well considering.

Big hugs x

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 16:11:00

Thank u for that, I cant help but look, I wanna no wen its gone.

I said to my mum today I fink wen you are in this situation your body takes over and you have to cope and carry on x

janey1234 Mon 22-Oct-12 16:30:15

I've just googled, at I think you said it all happened at six weeks? If so, apparently it would have been the size of a lentil. I know this isn't much help but I guess that might mean you won't know when it has gone for sure... sad. I'm sorry that doesn't help much.

And you're right, I think it does. When I look back at mine it feels as though I was in a trance throughout it all, the memories are horribly clear but also quite hazy, if you see what I mean, and it's almost as if it happened to someone else, not me.

You will feel OK again, I promise. Once it's all over your hormones will start to get back to normal too which helps I think.x

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 17:17:40

Oh really, so I Wonder if I will know or not then, id imagine I'm not going to know am I like you say.
I know it's a bit vile but I google imaged miscarriage clots to see if they looked like mine, some people have passed something very tiny but it look likes an actual baby with arms and legs, that must be awful I can't imagine how bad that would be.
I think everybody is so different it is a case of waiting to see what my scan shows on 30th oct x

3rdtimelucky73 Mon 22-Oct-12 19:09:54

I had to look too C4ALR in fact I scooped everything out and took it to EPU (sorry if TMI). There were white bits as well as huge red bits. Obviously more recognisable the further you're along.

Glad you have partner close to support you. My DP did what he could in August but it can be hard for men to see their beloved in so much physical and mental pain.

My stillbirth years ago, was very different, ex asked once how I was (weeks after) and texted a friend to apologise to me for saying he was glad. I have had nothing to do with him since (unsurprisingly).

C4ALR Mon 22-Oct-12 19:38:08

Oh my goodness that is so bad, I dnt blame u for not speaking to him anymore. My other half isnt the best at showing his emotions and feelings but I can tel it is killin him seein me in pain and upset, he said he feels more gutted because I am so hurt.

I feel bit better since earlier, so im hopin that was the last of it earlier or at least some of it x

janey1234 Tue 23-Oct-12 09:26:53

Oh 3rd that's horrific. When I rang my ex to tell him I was having a mc and in hospital (he was a pilot, and lived in Dubai, and was in the air en route to zurich at the time) I left a message saying 'I know you'll be relieved, but I'm having a mc'. It was a heartbreaking message to leave - I guess I just realised for the first time how he actually felt - and he didn't reply for over 24 hours. We obviously split up shortly after that; he didn't ask how I was, all he did was say I was 'a brave chicken'. What an arse. Can't imagine what it would be like to go through the tragedy you went through and have no support from a DP, am amazed you got through it to be honest. Everything crossed this is indeed your time.

And C4 - hopefully you're through the worst of the pain now, and can just concentrate on getting stronger physically and mentally. As a little aside, should you and your DP ever choose to try again at some point in the future (can't remember if I've told you this already) the doctors told me that having had one mc makes you no more likely at all to have another mc.

C4ALR Tue 23-Oct-12 11:01:16

I never realised how many insensitive ppl there wer in the world. Makes me greatful for who iv got.
I do want to try again and I had read somewhere it doesnt mean u will neccesary miscarry again.
I feel alot better again, goin to try and focus on the future smile

C4ALR Tue 23-Oct-12 23:19:18

Thought it was too good to be true, iv been in severe agony again tonight.. I cant take much morr sad

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 10:28:27

Oh poor you, it is VERY painful isn't it. Has it eased at all yet? Lots more clots? Hopefully you went through the worst of it last night. If it is still really bad it might be worth calling the EPU if you can't bear it; as I think I said I got a clot stuck in my cervix, nearly made me pass out, and a consultant had to fish it out for me. Not very dignified or pleasant, but the relief was immediate. So if it's that bad it might be worth seeing if they can help at all?
So sorry you're still going through this, it's just not fair.
x

C4ALR Wed 24-Oct-12 10:46:22

Ooh that doesnt sound very nice at all.
Hav u gone on and had children after your experiance?

It finally come away last night, I bled alot then it passed, it was horrible, im glad its over but It feels real now cos its really gone and it wasnt wat I had prepared myself for. But im glad its out now sorry it tmi x

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 11:06:18

Not TMI at all. As I was 12 weeks when it happened, I think it was the 'it' that was lodged and the consultant had to help pass, didn't want to say that earlier as didn't want to scare you or worry you, but I think you know when it's happened. That does mean (in my experience ever) that the worst is over though and hopefully you'll be better soon.

And no, I haven't; but that's because I split with my ex immediately after it happened. I have just started trying for a baby with my new DP - we haven't been together that long (ten months) but have known each other for years, and because I'm nearly 38 want to get a move on with things! I'm hoping it will happen for me soon - but I have only been trying for two months.

At least we both now know that we CAN get pregnant; hopefully it will work for us both next time around.

So so sorry for what you're going through and have been through in the last few days; I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. For what it's worth you sound like you're coping incredibly well, it's an awful thing to happen. xx

3rdtimelucky73 Wed 24-Oct-12 11:49:08

Hi C4ALR, sorry you've been in so much pain overnight, but physically it will ease now you passed.

I too found it incredibly painful - you're not alone.

Many women go on to have successful pregnancies, remind yourself of that and sadly how common miscarriage is. You are not alone, by any means.

Good luck Janey I really hope you get the result you want soon, I'm a year older than you and am frankly amazed at how quickly I have got pregnant, so fingers crossed.

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 11:58:27

Thanks 3rd - last time I got pregnant from one night (my ex lived in Dubai), which at almost 37 I was surprised by to say the least. I'm just hoping that now it's so desperately wanted by both me and my DP it does happen.

Got everything crossed this is indeed your third time lucky...

3rdtimelucky73 Wed 24-Oct-12 12:07:25

Thanks Janey, that's cheered me up as I've just revisited my breakfast....

C4ALR Wed 24-Oct-12 13:10:10

I think u two have really helped me through this, I feel I can open up more talking to you because I don't have to hold back incase I get upset which would upset my close ones.
I physically do feel better, I feel abut down today though because it is really over now but I'm strong so I WILL get through this, thank you Janey and 3rd again I really do mean it, thank you for your support.

I hope you both get what what we want you both sound like you deserve a bit of happiness and the way you have been with me you sound like you would be great mums!
I only said to my mum this mornin I thought u were a little bit older than me because you come across as a mother would, I am 24.

Xx

janey1234 Wed 24-Oct-12 14:39:16

Ah, so you've got LOADS of time for it to happen again for you, if and when you're ready.

It's horrible horrible horrible but you WILL get better physically and mentally. And by the sounds of it the worst is over physically, so fingers crossed you're on the road to recovery.

Glad to be of some small help, I know from experience it is nice to hear from people who have been there and understand.

Keep in touch you x

(ps not deserting you - just saying!)

C4ALR Wed 24-Oct-12 15:12:39

Me and my partner hav been together for 7years we were trying for 18months befor they found out I had polycystic overies but hopefully next time wen we try again it wil jus be a case of using the same tablet treatment I used to fall last time, as they worked first time.

I do want to try again because this is the one thing I have always wanted as I was growing up, I never wanted a big career and a huge house I just wanted my own family. My partner is 36 and has 2 children, boy (16) who lives with us and a daughter (11) who comes all weekend and a Wednesday for the night so I do have my little family as I am very very close to his daughter and close with his son but as much as I love them to death Im not there mum, they do have there mum so I do need my own child to feel complete.

It would be nice to keep in touch, the three of us i mean, to find out how we all get on in the future!

Good luck both of you, I will keep fingers crossed for you x x

janey1234 Thu 25-Oct-12 09:40:51

Completely understand you wanting a baby of your own. And at 24 you have LOADS of time to do it! As you say, if they have found drugs for you that work and make you ovulate, they can do it again.
Hope the pain is still a bit better?
x

C4ALR Thu 25-Oct-12 09:46:10

Yes the pain has pretty much completely gone x

janey1234 Thu 25-Oct-12 10:10:17

That's good. Make sure you still take it easy: you will have lost a lot of blood, and physically it's very draining, don't underestimate how long it might take for you to feel back to your normal self physically. Just don't try to do too much.

When I had mine someone on here said to me "be kind to yourself" and I think it was very good advice indeed.

x

C4ALR Thu 25-Oct-12 12:17:28

I am tryin to take it easy I find it quite difficult to sit and let ppl do things for me or jus sit and rest because normally I work full time and run the house, if u no wat I mean.

Got to be honest though the last week, I havent had the energy to do nefing even if I wanted to, i dont go back to wotk til the 5th nov so stil got bit of time x

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 19:02:22

How are you today then lovely?

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 20:43:51

Im ok thank you, had a lazy day today, not done anything then had steak and chips cooked for me for my tea.

I still hav no pain, I am still bleeding though, thats drivin me mad.
Thanks for asking x

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 21:10:41

Sound like just what you need. smile

From what I remember the bleeding was very heavy for about a week after everything passed, then tailed off and was very light for a few days. Hopefully it won't drag on for too long...

You've been in my thoughts a lot. What a horrible time you've had. Glad you're on the mend a bit.x

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 21:43:35

Its crazy really, I feel like iv known you forever after talking to you for a week or so smile

Iv been bleeding now for 13 days, been feelin light headed abit last 2 days.was wonderin if it had anything to do with the amount of blood I would of lost, a normak period for me would last 4/5 days

when should you know if uv had any luck this month or has it passed

X

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 22:07:30

Me too, strange - and wonderful - what the Internet can do!

Thank you for asking, I actually got a BFP this morning. Over the moon but trying not to get too excited for obvious reasons - it's very early days....

If I can do it at 38 I'm sure you can at your age. Tragically it wasn't your time this time but I'm sure next time - if and when you're ready for that - it will be smile

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 22:08:36

And I'm sure the light-headedness will be due to bleeding - if it gets bad call the early pregnancy unit or your GP. I had the same but it did pass....x

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 22:18:33

Sorry im abit simple, ha ha, wat is a bfp, im guessin something good smile

Well iv got a scan at epu on tuesday morning so if its stil bad il tel them then x

janey1234 Fri 26-Oct-12 22:25:39

Big Fat Positive - ie found out I'm pregnant on a pregnancy test smile

Bet you'll be relieved when you have the scan, to get confirmation it's finally all over physically and you're on the mend. So sorry, again, that you're going through this, it's so awful sad x

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 22:33:09

Congratulations, I really hope everything goes well, I reallu do.

Yer I cant wait to have this over so u can move on, wel try.

Make sure u take it easy x x

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 23:02:44

I meant so I can move on x

C4ALR Fri 26-Oct-12 23:03:01

I meant so I can move on x

C4ALR Sat 27-Oct-12 17:53:26

Hi janey,

Have you done anuva test today? if your like me you would of done, I done 4 tests after I had my positive x

janey1234 Sat 27-Oct-12 18:51:45

Yep! They were only £4 for give off eBay so thought I may as well. Just hope it sticks this time...

How you feeling today? I'm amazed how strong you're being. I'm sure if you do try again, next time will be your time smile

C4ALR Sat 27-Oct-12 21:01:13

Cor thats cheap, in tesco they do there own make 2 for £3.50 I was buyin them, then wen I had a positive I bought the clear blue jus to be sure.

I went shoppin to matalan today with my mum and a friend found it difficult walkin through the baby bit, we passed through quickly, seemed weird not rushin straight to.that bit cos thats wat weve been like the last month or so, felt bit sad today, I would of been 9 weeks today, but hey ho, sooner I stop bleedin, then I can get my body bac to normal and try again smile il keep smiling smile x

C4ALR Sun 28-Oct-12 19:25:22

Im havin a bad night, I feel really rubish tonight, its so unfair, I always do everything for everybody else befor myself to make sure there happy, jus because thats way I am, why cant I hav jus the one thing I really want x

janey1234 Sun 28-Oct-12 21:34:37

Sorry sent you long message on iPhone last night and sodding phone didn't send it...

You're bound to have ups and downs, today is a bad one but tomorrow might me good.

It WILL happen for you, you know. It sounds cruel but if you can get pregnant once you can again. So sorry you're feeling bad xx xx

C4ALR Sun 28-Oct-12 22:34:19

I felt abit rubbish yesterday too, I woke uo this morning and thought great, iv stooped bleeding, day went on, nothing. I decided to hava bath tonight, do my make up, do my hair nice try to make abit of an effort, just finished gettin myself done up, and within seconds I started bleeding again and it just made me feel rubish about myself again.

X

janey1234 Mon 29-Oct-12 09:22:36

You WILL get there. It WILL stop (the bleeding) and you WILL be able to try again. It just doesn't feel like it at some points I guess...

How you feeling today? You still off work? x

C4ALR Mon 29-Oct-12 11:11:01

Yer iv got this week off of work cos iv got to go back to the hospital in the morning.

I feel abit better today, bleeding stopped again x

How u feelin, hav u made an appointment at the doctors yet? X

janey1234 Mon 29-Oct-12 16:19:57

That's good, hopefully it will finish for good (or has already finished for good) and you can start to try to move on. I know you won't ever forget (I know I won't) and I don't mean it in that way, but hopefully you can move on.

I'm good thanks, just doesn't feel real at all. Think until I pass where it went wrong last time (12 weeks) I will be pretty nervous. But have everything crossed that it works out this time - as I do for you smile

C4ALR Mon 29-Oct-12 16:33:33

Well im not sure, I havnt bled all day today but iv got period pain type pains at the moment.

I cant wait to go to the hospital in the morning to check everything is ok and that it all passed

Iv got everything crossed for you, do you know how far gone you are?
X

janey1234 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:18:13

Only four weeks so it's very very early! All being well I will be 12 weeks on Xmas eve smile

Loads and loads of luck for tomorrow - hope you get the 'all clear' xx

C4ALR Mon 29-Oct-12 20:44:30

you must be so pleased, is your partner really happy?

Yer I hope everything is ok tomoro, il let you know tomorrow what they say x

janey1234 Mon 29-Oct-12 20:45:45

Yes please do - I will be thinking of you.

And yes he is, his smile was so lovely when I showed him the test. I think like me, it doesn't feel real yet...

C4ALR Mon 29-Oct-12 22:20:54

I think I need to get this out the way I feel worse the last couple of days than wat I did last week.

I feel like I keep repeatin myself to you and friends and family but I dont know wat else to say because I cant think of anything else.

I wondered if everything was ok with that other lady who was talkin to us, (3rd timelucky) she has written anything for a while. X

janey1234 Tue 30-Oct-12 09:07:50

You're not repeating yourself silly. People just ask how you are because they care, and there's only so many ways to say how you're feeling. I'm sure it's good to talk about it you know...

I know, I was thinking that too. I really hope she's OK. Fingers crossed for her. Am sure she's fine, and just a bit busy maybe?

GOOD LUCK for today - if you have time let me know how it goes? x

C4ALR Tue 30-Oct-12 14:56:30

Ive been for my check up scan this morning, my womb is clear so I have to wait a month, if I dont have a period so I can take my fertility treatment they are going to give me some tablets which make me have one. Fingers crossed the fertility treatment will work again as anf quick as before x

janey1234 Tue 30-Oct-12 16:17:57

Oh, that's very sad news of course - but equally very good, meaning you can get on with it again quickly if you want to.

Am glad the physical side is all dealt with and over for you, finally.

Sure that if the drugs worked well once, they will work quickly again. Out of interest, what are you on: chlomid?

Big hugs - I know that as well as feeling relieved it's over (because the pain can be pretty bad) it's a horrible empty feeling when you know it's all gone.

xx

C4ALR Tue 30-Oct-12 20:18:39

That is exactly how I am feelin today, I think I need 15 minutes on my own to have a good cry but been rushed off my feet all day. I think il feel abit better after that.

Yer I am on clomid, it worked the first month last time. So I hope it works good this time. I feel like I want to try again now but just aint in the right mood if u get what I mean ha x

janey1234 Wed 31-Oct-12 10:02:35

Did you get your 15 minutes to cry last night? I hope so, am sure it would have helped... xx

C4ALR Wed 31-Oct-12 10:41:53

Yer I did, I sent my other half out on some erands wiv his little girl, soon as they left I broke down, felt like I had been holdin it in for ages so wen I started felt like I wernt goin to stop.

I just feel in a bad mood all the time, I cheer up for a bit then go grumpy again.
X

janey1234 Wed 31-Oct-12 10:57:07

It's perfectly natural to feel like that. Your hormones will still be all over the place, and you've just been through a horrible, traumatic and exhausting experience. It will take a while to feel 'normal' again - and there's nothing wrong with feeling 'grumpy'.
Did the hospital offer you any counselling?
I ended up having some through work, three months after it happened. It was really useful - probably because I didn't cry at all at the time - and just nice to have someone to talk to in real life. My hospital offered free counselling at the time but I turned it down. If you could get some, it might be worth trying that?
If not, just take it easy and remember you WILL feel yourself again, but that it's going to take a while...x

C4ALR Wed 31-Oct-12 11:42:52

The hospital gave me a phone number I could contact, and im sure my work will aswell. I wrk for hampshire county council so they hav to offer all that sort of thing I think.

I dont think my partner quite understands, Im worried about gettin on his nerves. He isnt very good at showin hos emotions and affection anyway, his mum has told me he is really worried about me and he can see im acting as if im ok bit really he knows im not. I wish he would let me know that though x

janey1234 Wed 31-Oct-12 15:04:58

I think it must be hard for partners. Not that I know because my ex was an arse. But if it happens to me this time I can just imagine how my lovely DP would be: gutted, and feel fairly useless. They can't do anything to make it better, and I guess to a man it all seems totally unreal until they see a scan: at least we had a lack of periods and some other symptoms, which made it feel more real. I guess he just wants you to be better and back to yourself, and doesn't know how to make that happen. I'm sure you're not getting on his nerves. Maybe call the number from the hospital, and try to get him to talk to see how he is. He'll be sad too, and if he can talk about it with you, it might just help?
Sorry for the lack of useful advice sad
x

C4ALR Wed 31-Oct-12 15:13:45

I agree with what your sayin, I no he loves me and I no he finds it hard seein me like I am, I think his feelings are a differnt type of pain than mine, his pain is for me where mine is for the loss x

janey1234 Wed 31-Oct-12 15:17:02

I understand that. Like I say, I'd imagine because the pregnancy felt 'less real' in a way possibly to him, just because he didn't live through the symptoms? Must be hard for men - there's nothing they can do to make things like this better, but I'd guess that's all he wants to do. xx

C4ALR Wed 31-Oct-12 15:26:45

Yer I thnk your right, he has said that in a way as well. I feel abit better today than yesterday I just can't wait to get this year out of the way, with one thing and another the last couple of months have been horrible for us, I think once this year is gone, hopefully I shouldn't feel so much pain because a few months would of passed.

How are you feeling, ok? X

janey1234 Wed 31-Oct-12 21:48:01

Yes I'm fine thanks. Just the same but a bit more tired - so have just got into bed! Crazy life I'm living at the moment ;-) x

C4ALR Wed 31-Oct-12 23:03:55

Iv'e been out for something to eat with a friend tonight, im ready for bed now haha, im dreading going back to work it's going to tire me out after having 3 weeks off. I go back to a long day too 7;30 - 6;00 working with babies (in a nursery) then having a staff meeting 6;00 - 8;00, lovely!!

x

hopelesskim Thu 01-Nov-12 03:40:14

sorry to hear sweety. i am too going threw the same thing i am a complete mess.but will be doin surgical if possi le . the feeling of keeping my deseace baby in me is driving me mad sad

C4ALR Thu 01-Nov-12 11:40:37

Like ppl have said to me on here, it does get easier. and it does, I have found I have good days and bad days. I passed naturally which as you have probly read, I was in quite abit of pain but soon as it passed the pain stopped really.

you need to do what ever you feel you want to do, how far gone were you? Hope your ok smile x

janey1234 Thu 01-Nov-12 11:50:42

Sorry to hear your news hopeless. I chose the same, but unfortunately nature started to take it's course the morning of the op, and ended up doing it naturally (12 weeks along). AS C4 says, it's pretty damn painful at times, but for me, I think it would have been psychologically easier in a way to be just put to sleep and wake up when it's all over, so completely understand your choice.

It's a horrible, horrible thing, and incredibly sad. You will stop being a mess at some point - the days get very gradually easier. In the meantime take it easy and look after yourself - it's a lot tougher physically than you'd expect...

C4ALR Thu 01-Nov-12 18:38:06

Im going to the theatre tonight to see beauty and the beast, weve just eaten but I feel really guilty for having a glass of wine I feel im doin wrong, I know im not but I feel I am x

janey1234 Thu 01-Nov-12 20:41:05

Sounds like a good night c4, just what you need. And make the most if the wine smile - a well deserved treat x

C4ALR Thu 01-Nov-12 22:39:33

It was quite good, not very organised but it was okay.

I only had 2 glasses if wine, funny init u never fancy it wen u can have it x

C4ALR Fri 02-Nov-12 10:48:02

Iv woke up this.morning and started bleeding. I havent bled for 2 days at all, I dont know if it is a period or not, its difficult to know what to do cos I have to take my clomid in the 2nd day of a period, its weird how u got ti take them cos u take them on 2nd to the 7th day of ur period even if u stop bleeding befor u finish taking them. Dont no what to do x

janey1234 Fri 02-Nov-12 11:11:15

I'd call your doctors or the early pregnancy unit - I've never taken chlomid so have no idea what to suggest I'm afraid. It could be I guess, or could just be more of the same... x

C4ALR Fri 02-Nov-12 12:02:40

Mmm, thats wat I wondered. I might leav it until tomoro if im stil bleeding then phone them x

janey1234 Mon 05-Nov-12 05:50:07

How you getting on? Sorry I've not been in contact - family filled weekend...x

C4ALR Mon 05-Nov-12 07:21:37

Did you have a good weekend?

Im not too bad, still bleeding on and off throughout the day, I did ring a doctor they said it wouldnt be a period yet, I didnt think it would be was just hoping to much I think.

Just gettin ready for my first day back at work, I am dreading it, not sure if I can handle colleges asking how I am, and I hope none of the childrens parents ask whats been up, I dont know what to say, the truth or not. But were see how it goes.

Hope your well and ok x

janey1234 Mon 05-Nov-12 07:53:07

Oh good luck for today, will be thinking of you. In my experience the first hour is the worst - and then it just feels weirdly normal. You'll be fine I'm sure, but good luck xx

janey1234 Mon 05-Nov-12 11:14:23

Just to say I'm thinking of you - you'll be at work now, hope it's not too tough xx

C4ALR Mon 05-Nov-12 19:32:48

Just got in from work, it wasnt to bad, your right. Bit hectic seems like so much has been changed in 3weeks. Just been told I can go for a deputy manager job though, which is good but scary.

Feel emotionally drained and tired now though. Tea, bath and bed I think x

janey1234 Tue 06-Nov-12 19:41:58

Glad if went ok for you, you've done the hardest part :-) xx

C4ALR Tue 06-Nov-12 20:18:08

Yer im ok, having a bad day today but I think its because im worn out, iv done nothin for 3 weeks then done 2 longggg days.

Did u ever get any brownish discharge? (sorry for askin personal things) thats what im gettin now, with bleeding every now and then, this has been going on for 24 days now.. Bleeding/discharge just rubbish stuff x

janey1234 Tue 06-Nov-12 20:39:25

Yes, it's old blood. Probably just the last of everything working it's way out sad

And you're not just tired because you're not used to it, you're tired because what you're going through is massively draining physically as well as mentally. Make sure you get early nights and take the next couple of weeks easy if you can...xx

C4ALR Tue 06-Nov-12 21:48:58

I feel like I talk to u as my own personal counciler, but it helps...

I start to feel better then today iv cried so much I dont know whats up with me, I feel rubbish about myself, I feel like I lokk like I got dark rings round my eyes, I feel fat and horrible, but I no im not cos my most if my clothes are a size 6, its just in my head I think, but as much as I feel fat I just keep comfort eating.

I probly not making much sense but I think it helps writin down how im feeling too.

Thank you again for all your support, as cheesy as it sounds you have really helped me smile x

janey1234 Wed 07-Nov-12 11:35:10

I'm really glad I have. Oddly it feels like my loss meant something in a way, as at least my experience has helped someone.

I promise you I felt like I was going mad at times - I'd feel fine then WHAM it would hit me, and I felt back to square one all over again. It's just you spent those weeks thinking about the baby, your new family, how your lives would change, and then it's all so cruelly taken away.

But I promise you it does get easier.

I found out I'd had a MMC on 8th October. I didn't cry apart from about 30 seconds on that day when I rang my brother (who lived in Singapore at the time) to tell him. Then over Christmas I felt horrendous and it all hit me. I started going to counselling in Jan, and met my now DP a week later (well, I've known him for years, but we got together in Jan) and gradually I started to improve and my life changed. So it took a long time, and will probably take a long time for you, but you WILL get there.

Do think about counselling if you think you need it, but I'll always be here for you should you need to chat xx

C4ALR Wed 07-Nov-12 21:30:48

Yes you have defantly helped me.

Its crazy how ppl react differently isnt it, iv cried so much escpecially on the monday I had my scan wen they couldnt find the heart beat, I couldnt stop that day.

I feel like ppl at wrk arnt very supportive, but im not sure if they are just avoiding the subject. Everyone keeps tellin me to go for the deputy job but I dnt care about that, a while ago I would of done but at the moment I dont.

I think I like talking to you because you know exactly what im feeling. Sometimes you actually explain how I am feeling better than me smile

How are you feeling anyway, are you having extra scans or anything to keep an eye on you or not?

X

janey1234 Thu 08-Nov-12 10:34:35

I guess that anyone that's been through it can completely empathise with anyone else. I think I would have found it hard to imagine just how hard it is before I went though it, and it's hard to explain to anyone that hasn't....

In terms of the job, only you can know what to do. All I would say is that whilst you might not care now, as in the big scheme of things work really doesn't matter, if you do get pregnant it might be nice to get maternity leave on a bigger salary. So if it's more money it might be worth considering - it might help you afford more time off work if/when you choose to try to get pregnant again and have a baby...

I'm fine thanks. First doctors appt today. Am going to ask for an early reassurance scan - I basically have all of December off to go on two holidays, and land back on 24th and will have a 12 week scan then. But I don't think I will be able to go on hol without going mental unless I can have a scan before to check all is OK. If he says no I'm going to ask the hospital directly - apparently at my hospital if you've already have one miscarriage you're allowed to refer yourself...

Hope you're feeling OK today... xx

C4ALR Thu 08-Nov-12 12:14:03

Good luck at the doctors today x

I would want a scan early aswell just to put my mind at rest abit. If you cant have one on nhs would you go private. I dont no where you are obviously so prices might vary. But I went private wen I had my scan and it was £60.

You sound like you have a lovely december planned smile I work right up untill xmas eve until 1pm.

Im ok today bit better than lasr couple of days, but I dnt start wrk until 1 today x

C4ALR Thu 08-Nov-12 12:14:53

Oh, let me know how you get on at the doctors today, thinking of you xx

C4ALR Thu 08-Nov-12 20:05:30

How did you get on today? X

janey1234 Thu 08-Nov-12 20:28:36

In and out in about three minutes, completely underwhelming! As expected I guess. Had a minor debate when he said I had to to to my nearest hospital, thankfully I knew better and argued to be referred to a hospital slightly further away.

How was you day? Settling into work ok? Bet you're exhausted.... sad x

C4ALR Thu 08-Nov-12 21:09:50

So did they agree in then end to refer you to where u wanted to go?
I think doctors try and palm you off with the easiest option for them most of the time.

Work is ok.. I just cant get motivated when im there. I am absolutely knackered cannot wait till tomoro is over. Only got half day tomoro, half 7 ~1, I love fridays.

Im bein really naughty tonight, havin a few malibus on a work night, ha. I got in and really fancied a couple so thought sod it, im havin some.

X

janey1234 Fri 09-Nov-12 14:40:30

They did, after a slight battle. Really annoyed me though by asking if the baby was planned: I mean, yes it was, but is that really any of your business?!

Understand the lack of motivation re: work. Everyone gets it anyway from time to time, so is bound to be the case after the crap you've been to - puts everything into perspective I guess.

And it's not naughty! you're allowed to drink, and if you fancy them, why not. Hopefully you'll be pg again soon, and then you'll be off the booze again so may as well make the most of it...

Jealous you've finished for the weekend already! Got anything good planned for the weekend? Try to take it easy whatever you do...
x

C4ALR Fri 09-Nov-12 19:26:40

Yer wen I went to the doctors they asked me if I was pleased about tge pregnancy... I sed I should think so after 18months of trying. But I know wat you mean.

Not got anything good planned, got paperwork to do from work, which might I add we dont get paid to do!

Even though I finished at 1 today only just sat down.. Had some things to do, and the dreaded food shoppin, I hate that.

What about you, doing anything nice? X

janey1234 Fri 09-Nov-12 22:55:11

Yeah, nice weekend. It's my bday on Sunday (argh - 38!) so my bf has been spoiling me and took me to petrus (Gordon Ramsay restaurant) for dinner. Very swanky and nice. Stuffed now - and sober due to being pg, not like me!

I hate food shipping too. Got kind of addicted to ordering it online - so lazy but sooo easy!

Look after yourself this weekend - you'll still be physically run down and tired after everything sad xx

C4ALR Sat 10-Nov-12 22:06:43

That sounds lovely... Bet the food was nice! it sounds like your bf wants to spoil you so make the most of it, haha

Happy birrhday for tomorrow!

x

C4ALR Sun 11-Nov-12 10:28:35

Happy birthday! Have a lovely day, il have a glass of wine for you later x x

janey1234 Sun 11-Nov-12 12:29:10

Thank you smile

Have two for me hey. Jealous!xx

C4ALR Sun 11-Nov-12 22:57:01

Hope you had a good day smile

Did you get spoilt present wise? Spose you got the best present a little bit early anyway having a positive test, best present ever that is for you isn't it.

Hope your taking it easy x

janey1234 Mon 12-Nov-12 19:23:02

I did indeed, lovely bracelet and necklace from DP, handbag from folks and lovely kitchen stuff from bro/niece/nephew/sister in law. Lovely weekend and lovely presents.

How you feeling. How was week two of bring back at work? And has the bleeding all finally stopped? Hope so...x

C4ALR Mon 12-Nov-12 21:22:42

Presents sound lovely.

Yer the bleeding and everything has stopped now been clear for bout 3 days, made me feel bit better now that's stopped.

Work was ok, busy but alright. Still tired me out today, watching celebrity get me out of here, bath then bed.

Do you work long hours?

Hope your well, thanks for asking bout me smile

X

janey1234 Mon 12-Nov-12 21:30:27

I think you'll be glad to get back into a normal cycle: it's reassuring to know your body is doing it's thing again. You going back on chlomid once you've had your period? One of my best friends might start taking it soon-ish: hope it works for you both.

Glad work was ok smile if tiring. I need to watch I'm a celeb - I love it!xx

C4ALR Mon 12-Nov-12 22:29:37

Yes I am goin back on clomid, iv got to wait until 30th of this month if I havent had a period the hospital are goin to prescribe me a hormone tablet which brings one on so I can take the clomid. Without the.hormone tablet I could be waitin 2 weeks or 6 months for a.period they are so irregular because of my pcos.

Whats the reason for your friend to take it?

I love celebrity too x

janey1234 Tue 13-Nov-12 10:16:37

I guess that's not too long to wait... I have heard on this site of people that have had a miscarriage who have waited a few months for their periods to return, so at least you can take some drugs to kick start things. I'm sure if chlomid worked for you once it will work again - and just because you've had one mc you're no more likely to have another...

My friend has PCOS too, so I think it's an option they're looking at too....

x

C4ALR Tue 13-Nov-12 20:14:04

Yer in glad I dont have to wait ages. I feel like im wishin the months away.

I think my dp is suffering more than wat he is saying. the last couple of weeks hes been really quiet with me, he says hes ok and were ok but something aint right.

I keep thinking id be havin my 12 week scan this week. Spose the milestones are always goin to stand out.

With pcos I think clomid is the 1st treatment they try. Good.luck to her!

janey1234 Tue 13-Nov-12 20:54:08

Yes, all the milestones are so hard. Due date is the most obviously difficult one. all i can say though is that you'll get through it. Dreading it coming is almost worse than when it does...

Any idea what's wrong with DP? Maybe he's still struggling as he can see how tough it has been for you....sad

xx

C4ALR Tue 13-Nov-12 21:41:11

Mmm,.i thought about the due date and how horrible that will be.

Im not sure about dp mixture of things I think... He runs his own buisness but its been very quiet for a while now so finacially were fine but his sanity isnt. He pretty much has nothin to do all day every day so think he sits and worries about stuff. He jus bottles things up and I get the brunt of it. Then I know he feels guilty that he funny with me.

Im sure he will be fine soon x

emilyc01 Wed 14-Nov-12 07:21:22

I fell pregnant on the pill, so I went for a dating scan yesterday expecting to see a 8/9 week baby. I knew something was wrong when the sonographer had to do a transvaginal scan. The gestional sac was there, but there was nothing in it. She was very vague and told me this was common when you conceived on the pill. This is my fourth pregnancy, was hopefully going to be third baby as I lost my first. I came out of there confused with no information at all. I have been referred to the EPU for another scan in 7/10 days. I know my own body and realise now that I am having a missed miscarriage. After two beautiful children I had forgotten how painful it is to lose a baby. I feel heartbroken and I can't stop crying. Reading some of these stories, I realise I'm not alone. My Heart goes out to all of you that are experiencing the same pain x

janey1234 Wed 14-Nov-12 09:34:04

Oh emily I'm so sorry to hear your news. It is heartbreaking. Really hoping you get through the next few weeks OK - I'm here should you need to talk, and sure that c4 is too. xx

C4ALR Wed 14-Nov-12 10:40:42

Emily I am so sorry for you, it is an awful thing to go through. Are you having a d+c or have you opted for the narural way to pass the sac.

What ever you decide were be here for support. Use us as much as you like, it has really helped me.

Take care x

janey1234 Wed 14-Nov-12 11:11:46

C4 - you really are lovely btw xx

C4ALR Wed 14-Nov-12 19:32:00

Oh thank you, thats really nice of u to say x

C4ALR Wed 14-Nov-12 20:42:00

How you doing tonight emily?
Im thinking about you, dont hide away im here if you need to talk x

C4ALR Thu 15-Nov-12 22:16:53

Hi janey, how u feeling? Have u got any sickness feeling yet? X

janey1234 Thu 15-Nov-12 22:29:41

Only a bit, comes and goes and is very mild... Hoping it's not a bad sign.... How are you?xx

C4ALR Fri 16-Nov-12 07:35:52

No im sure its nothing to worry about, dont they s say sickness from the start means your having a girl smile

Im ok, just the same really, no better but no worse :/ x

C4ALR Mon 19-Nov-12 11:56:49

Why do people wind you up when your having a bad day anyway. Seriously, im sure some ppl are out just to get on my nerves. Come to work being positive its only.12 and wanna go home.already.

Sorry needed to off load some how xxx

Arrrggghhhhh!!!

Feel bit better now, ha xx

janey1234 Mon 19-Nov-12 12:05:46

aaaargh, it's always the way!
Have you decided what to do about the promotion btw? Are you going to go for it or not do you think?
xx

C4ALR Mon 19-Nov-12 14:53:52

Yer I am going to go for it, iv got nothin to lose so may aswel I thought.

I seem to go through fases at work of enjoyin it and not, its a real big not at the moment. One girl I hav to wrk wiv all day every day, I just cant help but let her irritate me, she does everything I dont want her.to do.

How are you anyway x

janey1234 Wed 21-Nov-12 20:49:55

Crazy week! Sorry I haven't been around... How are you? How's work? When do you find out about the job? And is it nearly chlomid time again?xx

C4ALR Wed 21-Nov-12 21:47:57

The job shouls go live tomorrow and wil b available for applications for a week. it is an internal advert tho.

Im waitin for the hospital to phone me back tomoro. Im on antibiotics at the moment for next 2weeks cos they think ive got an.infection in my womb and cervix area..since saturday have needed a wee... Lots, my stomach in swollen if I push on my womb area the pain is so baad and wen the doctor done an internal examination, wen she touched my cervix that hurt to, also got blood in my urine.

Had to phone the fertility unit today to find out.what they want to do because I cant do.anything until this is sorted x

janey1234 Thu 22-Nov-12 17:16:34

Oh no that's rubbish. I think infections are really common after a mc - the cervix is open to let everything out, which I think in reverse means that stuff can get in. Hopefully they can whack it with antibiotics and you'll be ok in a week or so. Just not what you needed on top of everything else, poor you.

Sending big hugs xxxx

And good luck with the job application x

C4ALR Fri 23-Nov-12 17:12:33

Yer I thought the infection would of happened.straight away but obviously not. Iv come on today too so I can take my clomid tomorrow... My body feel heavy and drained but least I can start mu tabs again x

How are you? X

janey1234 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:22:07

Oh that's good, you're stilll allowed to take them despite the infection? That's really good, the last thing you want to have to do is wait another month to start taking them.
Is the pain from the infection lessening yet? Usually antibiotics are pretty damn good, and clear things up pretty quickly. Rotten thing to happen to you on top of everything else though sad

Yeah I'm good. Going on holiday after work on weds and back on mon night, then three days later I'm off again until Christmas eve! Cannot wait, and got the ok from the doctors yesterday to travel smile so can't wait.... x

C4ALR Fri 23-Nov-12 19:36:50

Iv jus had a phone call from the fertility clinic, they dnt want me to take the.clomid till the infection is gone. Which is really gutting but im use to waiting now ;( (it was a doctor I spoke to earlier)

Im glad you can fly ok, hope u have a lovely time, im jealous x

janey1234 Sat 24-Nov-12 19:12:31

Oh that totally sucks, I'm so sorry sad

Are you still in pain?x

C4ALR Sat 24-Nov-12 21:44:13

On and off, earlier I had a weird pain different from any iv had before. It was a sharp pain which went over my whole stomach, it lasted bout an.hour then it past. It was so bad my dp wanted to take me to hospital. It feels ok at moment tho.

I feel like im always.moaning to u, I am sorry, your be glad to go on holiday to have a break from me ha.

Anyway... X factor.... Christopher has got to go this week, do u watch it?

Hope your well x

janey1234 Sat 24-Nov-12 22:18:25

Don't be silly! You hardly moan at all, and have every right to moan a hell of a lot after everything you've been through.

Keep an eye on the pain - if it's that bad again call nhs direct for advice maybe? Sounds horrid sad

Usually watch it but this year haven't even seen a single episode - is weird as I'm usually a complete addict! Enjoying I'm a celeb though...

Hope you get some sleep and have no pain tonight xx

C4ALR Sat 24-Nov-12 22:39:42

Yer I will if the pain.happes again il phone them.

I think my body is jus really run down, my dp said earlier ppl think you have.a.mc an then a wk later your fine but its not the case it started.about 6 wks ago now.

I am an addict to x factor, celeb, corrie amd eastenders. I reckon it wil b between colin and rosemary tonight to go...

janey1234 Mon 26-Nov-12 10:41:41

I do remember telling you that it's a lot harder physically than you'd expect. As soon as you know you've had a mc you know how hard it's going to be emotionally, but it took me completely by surprise how tough it was physically - as you said, it takes weeks to recover.

Are you out of pain now? If not I'd call the hospital and ask anyway - antibiotics usually take effect pretty quickly, so if it's no better you ought to speak to them and see if they can up your dose. The sooner you're through this the better.

You've had such a rough time of it, poor you sad

C4ALR Mon 26-Nov-12 13:13:35

Im not in pain anymore it has gone off alot.

Not long now to ur holiday bet ur excited, wher are you going? X

janey1234 Mon 26-Nov-12 14:09:08

That's good, hopefully the antibiotics are working their magic.

I'm going to Dubai on Weds night, and back Monday with my friends, then off to Thailand with DP next Thursday.

Am a bit scared because all my pg symptoms have disappeared over the last few days, so have been asked to go in for a scan. Fingers crossed all is OK tomorrow...

C4ALR Mon 26-Nov-12 21:04:01

I would try not to worry there.meant to ease of abit once your so far gone arnt they. Let me no please how it goes, il be thinkin of you.

and you lucky mare them hols sound amazing x

C4ALR Tue 27-Nov-12 07:24:12

Good luck for your scan, got everything crosses for you x

janey1234 Tue 27-Nov-12 11:23:35

We saw and heard the heartbeat, all is fine. Am so happy smile was magical.

Your turn next. You just need to kick this bloody infection then you can try again. Poor you having such a shitty time of it.x

C4ALR Tue 27-Nov-12 11:41:14

Oh I am really really pleased about that, ive been worring bout you.

I bet you are so relieved smile

I think it will be january befor I can start trying again after all the tablets I need to take. But time is a vertue x

janey1234 Tue 27-Nov-12 16:10:47

Yes, SO relieved. And perfect timing for my hols.
Oh, and yes, I am very lucky to be going away on these holidays. Comes of being so old - more spare cash than in my twenties!
January is no time. And then you'll have your baby in the autumn; countless studies have shown that autumn babies do much better at school than summer babies, so that's good news.
Went well for my lovely friend this morning too, went with her for her scan (she's the one with PCOS) and all looks good so she was given a prescription for clomid. Maybe you and her will be pregnant in the new year smile xx

C4ALR Tue 27-Nov-12 22:53:14

Hopefully.clomid will work for your friend, it must be good. I always wanted a summer baby but least if autumn babies are meant to be clever they got a little chance in life cos they wont get no brains inherited from the parents haha.

Only one more sleep till your holiday, have a lovely time and relax x

janey1234 Wed 28-Nov-12 15:35:32

Thanks you. Will be in contact when I'm back. Hope your infection clears up soon and you're able to start back on the clomid. xx

janey1234 Tue 04-Dec-12 16:58:12

Hey! I'm back! smile
How are you? Feeling any better? Really hope the infection has cleared up now for you...
xx

C4ALR Fri 07-Dec-12 18:16:55

Hi janey, hows things?
Did u have a good holiday?
Iv got some good news.. Im gettin married on the 28th dec this year smile felt like we wanted to start the new year fresh. Hope ur well x

janey1234 Fri 07-Dec-12 22:33:15

Oh my god!! That's amazing news! I am soooooooooooo happy for you grinsmilegrinsmilegringrinsmilegrinsmile

Hopefully it will be the start of a new run of good luck for you.

You feeling better?

Had a lovely hol thanks, now in Bangkok with jet lag about to start our tour of Thailand!

xx

C4ALR Sat 08-Dec-12 08:07:18

Thank you, yes I am feelin alot better now, the antibiotics seemed to wrk and mentally iv got something.good to focus on now so feel ok.

My dp is very shy whicj is why weve not married sooner but now were.goin off on r own. My mum is abit sad about that which has upset me but I feel this is wat we need to move on so im hopin my mum will forgive me!

Im glad.u had a lovely time, I couldnt log in to this site for.some reason which is why I never.replied to you sooner.

Well have a.lovely.lovely time im.thailand, my uncle lives out there x

janey1234 Tue 11-Dec-12 13:35:26

Am in Thailand so can't stop, just wanted to say please don't worry about your mum. Do what's right for you and DP and enjoy every moment of 28th. Will be thinking of you xx

C4ALR Thu 20-Dec-12 09:04:36

Hi, wernt sure wen you wer back? Hope your having a lovely time and taking it easy. Bet the weather is lovely isnt it?

Im all sorted to get married now, mum still not over the moon think shes really hurt but I know if I dont do it like this we wont ever get married, I feel like im being really selfish though. She has been out shopping bought my outfit im wearing and jewlerry but I can tell she is upset.

Im going.in a work xmas/hen party tomorrow.night my first proper drink for months then I start a hormone tab on 23rd so then hopefully it will bring on a period to take my clomid smile x

janey1234 Thu 20-Dec-12 12:03:55

Hey you!
Not back until Christmas Eve - when I go straight from the airport to the clinic for my 12 week scan, argh.
Your wedding sounds so exciting. Please try not go worry about your mum, she really will get over it, and I know that in reality you're a stranger to me but you just sound so different since you said you were getting married. It's clearly making you happier to be starting a new chapter with your husband to be, and will hopefully mark the start of a fantastic new year for you smile
Bloody monkeys stole my camera this morning, cheeky sods. So no holiday pics for me!sad still, was quite funny!

C4ALR Thu 20-Dec-12 19:48:24

Haha sounds really funny.. Monkeys stole your camera I know its not really though.

I bet your so excited about your scan? Let me no how it goes, its gone so quick doesnt seem 5 minutes ago you found out you were pregnant.

Its crazy really, like you say we are strangers but feels like iv known you forever.

Speak soon and take care xx

janey1234 Sun 23-Dec-12 04:23:31

Shitting myself to be honest! Because I'm so sodding ancient wink the risks aren't great anyway (1 in 150 chance of downs) but have the fear the scan might make the chances even worse. Just want it to be done with now! Still in our hotel in Thailand but by 1pm Monday I should know the risks.... Aah, keep everything crossed for me!
X

C4ALR Sun 23-Dec-12 18:58:31

U sound like me now thinkin the worst, u just got to stay positive. And im sure ur not ancient ha smile

1 in 150 is very slim try not to worry, I have everything that could possibly b crossed, crossed for you. Let me no how it goes. Il b thinking of you xx

C4ALR Mon 24-Dec-12 16:15:56

How did u get on today? Xx been thinkin bout u x

janey1234 Tue 25-Dec-12 01:16:09

Sorry hectic day! Took 36 hours with no sleep to get to my folks for Christmas from Thailand (via scan) so was exhausted!

Yesterday went brilliantly. Odds gone from 1 in 150 to 1 in 3682 which is amazing for my age, an so bloody happy. Told the folks who were over the moon, and DP's mum couldn't stop crying she was so happy!

It all just goes to show - just because you've had one mc it doesn't mean it will happen again. Your turn next lovely smile

Have an AMAZING Christmas - is your bug day on 28th? Bet you can't wait!xx

C4ALR Tue 25-Dec-12 13:13:47

I am so so happy for you wen I didnt hear from you I startes to worry about you. I bet that is the best christmas present ever ever for you!! smile smile xx

Yer its the 28th at 11;30 I cant wait. My dp gave me a card and had amended it himself sayin wife to be.. He can b sweet wen he wants to b. Ha.

My hen/xmas do was so good I was very very drunk I was ill all weekend recovering. But I am.now takin norethisterone 2tabs for 10days which should bring on a period for me to take my clomid so fingers crossed xx

Have a lovely christmas xx

I am so happy for you smile x

C4ALR Thu 27-Dec-12 11:44:03

Im gettin married in 24hours and my mum is so sad today, I keep blockin it out of my mind but is that really mean.and selfish?

I know she isnt just sad because of me cos she.got a lot on her mind at the.moment but I defo aint helping x

janey1234 Thu 27-Dec-12 16:19:41

Oh, I just came on to wish you luck for tomorrow (I will be with the midwife when you tie the knot!) and saw this sad
Why is your Mum sad? Are you doing it without her? Was she hoping for a big white wedding?
Even if she was, this isn't her day, it's YOURS. Well, yours and your DP's wink. She knows what a shit time you've had and I'm sure she will be happy deep down?
xx

C4ALR Thu 27-Dec-12 16:58:43

Yer were goin to bournemouth tomoro on r own, my dp is very shy there wudnt b anuva way of us gettin married so I excepted that and decided.i love.him so we wud do it on r own.

She just wants to witness it I think, I can.c y she is upset but im tryin to shut it off so I can enjoy my day. I would love for her to b there but I want.to marry my dp more...

Thanks for the message tho.
I done a pg test eaelier cos iv felt really.sick last 2 wks but it was negative, which is wat I expected.really.

Hope all.goes well wiv midwife tomoro x

janey1234 Thu 27-Dec-12 19:09:43

Ah, she will be ok. Just try to take a pic and send it to her on the day, and maybe a few you can print out and send to get later so she can feel she didn't miss out too much.

You have to do this the way you want to, and if this is what you want, you're absolutely doing the right thing smile

Try not to worry and enjoy every moment xx

janey1234 Fri 28-Dec-12 12:57:25

Congratulations!!!! You're married!!! gringringringringrinsmilesmilesmilesmilesmilesmilegringringringrinsmilesmilesmilesmile

Hope you're having an amazing day!xxxxxxx

C4ALR Fri 28-Dec-12 19:53:02

Thank you, yes we are havin a lovely day. Our hotel is amazin... Ha. I paid £115 & its like a little bungalow with seperate rooms lounge/diner, 2 bedrooms the.lot. Jus sat on r bed drinkin champayne.waitin.for r room service.

How did it go wiv the midwife today? Xx

janey1234 Fri 28-Dec-12 20:16:44

It was good thanks, she was lovely smile

I'm so happy you've had a fabulous day and are enjoying yourselves now - your hotel sounds amazing. Enjoy!xx

C4ALR Sat 29-Dec-12 14:14:04

Were home now, back to reality. Ha.. Goin.for a meal in a minute wiv my family.

Glad ur midwife is nice wen is your next.appointment x

janey1234 Sat 29-Dec-12 14:59:11

Ah, back home a married woman gringrin

Give your mum big hugs and she will be happy.

Next appt at 16 weeks on 22nd January - not long really!

C4ALR Tue 01-Jan-13 00:15:45

Happy new new year hope its a good.one x

janey1234 Tue 01-Jan-13 01:18:56

And you. I'm hoping 2013 is a brilliant year for us both smile xx

C4ALR Tue 01-Jan-13 22:08:45

Iv finished my course of tablets which is meant to bring on a period today, so fingers crossed they wrk then I can take my clomid.

How is your friend getting on?

Havin bit of a bad day today, 3 ppl close to home hav had babies in last 2wks, one bein the mother of my "husband" (thats weird ha) kids so the youngest is obviously excited. She is good bless her she trys not to tlk about it infront of me but iv told her she can cos obviously.shes pleased I just gotta pretend im really happy x

janey1234 Wed 02-Jan-13 09:57:09

She's going on holiday in a fortnight to the maldives (jealous!) so can't start clomid until after that. I can't wait for her to start though - I want her to get pregnant as much as I wanted to get pregnant myself, so really hope it happens quickly for her when she is able to start...

It's tough when people all around you are having babies and you've been through something so awful. There's a guy who works for me whose daughter was pregnant and due on the day I would have been due had it not been for my mmc, and I found it hard hearing about her pregnancy as all I kept thinking was that it should have been me. But now I don't feel like that at all, I really don't. As I said, it does get better. And if the clomid works and you do get pregnant again, it honestly does make it easier.

Back to work today? It sucks doesn't it! x

C4ALR Wed 02-Jan-13 21:51:02

Yep back to work for me too, were really quiet this week though which is nice to ease us back in, still haven't got a start date for deputy manager yet though, which is annoying but typical hampshire county council...taking ages to sort anything out.

The maldives lucky mare im jealous too, haha. Hopefully it will work for her as quick as it did for me it would be nice for you both to be pregnant at the same time smile

Im hoping it wont take long for me to have a period becuase the leaflet says it can take upto 10 days after your last tablets i want one now i am so eager to see if the clomid works again!

I keep thinking this week would be the week of my scan which would of told me the sex of the baby, and that was something i was soo looking forward to so i could go buy pink/blue clothes and bits. Im trying to stay positive and i think i'll be ok in a few days just need to knock it out my mind again.

Hope your keeping well, are you showing yet?

x

janey1234 Fri 11-Jan-13 11:36:56

Hey!

I thought I'd lost you! You disappeared from my 'threads I'm on' and I haven't been able to find you, only to figure out this morning to show older threads. Hoorah, felt awful that you might have thought I'd abandoned you!

How are you? How are you feeling? Have you had a period? Are you able to start taking clomid again?

Not sure if I'm showing or not, just feel fat. But worth it I guess!

xx

C4ALR Fri 11-Jan-13 19:53:47

Thats wat iv been gettin wen I logged on. Mayb cos we havent spoke on here for a little while.

Iv had a period and taken my course of clomid, my fertilty calculator says I should ovulate between.14th.and 19th jan. So just got to wait and see..feel really nervous x

janey1234 Mon 14-Jan-13 13:27:05

So it's time for you to DTD! Of course you're nervous - and if/when you get pregnant I'm sorry to say the nerves don't go! How long did it take you to get pregnant last time? I'm really hoping this works for you quickly enough x

C4ALR Mon 14-Jan-13 19:49:47

I should be ovulating this week if it has worked. I fell pregnant straight away last time on my first month of takin clomid so fingers crossed x I dont wanna get my hopes up this month though x
How are you x

janey1234 Mon 14-Jan-13 20:24:16

Yeah I'm good thanks smile

You're so sensible trying hard not to get your hopes up, but it is so hard not to. But just remember that if it doesn't work this time it will do at some point. If it worked once it can work again. X

C4ALR Mon 14-Jan-13 22:59:29

Im just wishing the next few.weeks away so I can do a test to c if it has wrked. Im so impaitent at the best of times so I cant wait I want it.now. Ha x
Glad your ok x

janey1234 Tue 15-Jan-13 14:22:57

Ah yes, and welcome to the world of the dreaded two week wait. It's AWFUL isn't it. Do you know for sure when you will have ovulated? If you really can't wait 14 days after to do a test you could do a First Response early response test - they're expensive mind! The month I got pregnant I did one at about 10 days (negative) and one at 12 (positive). They're really not cheap but can tell you a day or two early if you can't bear the suspense! xx

C4ALR Tue 15-Jan-13 19:08:15

I done an ovulation test yday and it was positive. But dnt no how accutate they are. I got bit excited wen it said positive.tho cos least I no the tabs r doin wat they meant to x
I used.a clear blue last time bit early and.it showed p so prob wony wait the whole two weeks x

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 15:21:01

I don't know how accurate they are if you have PCOS or are on clomid, but they're pretty damn accurate generally. I used them and got pregnant. I think you ovulate within 12-36 hours of getting the positive, and that's it's best to have done the deed before getting the positive (so there's some stuff, urm, in situ) and then again for a couple of days after you do (better safe than sorry!).

GOOD LUCK - got everything crossed for you smile xxx

C4ALR Wed 16-Jan-13 19:35:31

I had done a predictor calculator thingy on line to see when I should ovulate whilst takin the clomid and it said between the 14th and 19th so you should as you say do the deed every 1/2 days from the 12th, so you have to do what you have to do ay? Ha, bit fed up with it now though, haha.

Thanks for having your fingers crossed I got everything possible crossed at the moment x

Hope your well and ok x

janey1234 Fri 18-Jan-13 12:28:25

So you exhausted from all the DTD?! ;)
Guess you can't test until next weekend or the weekend after?
GOT EVERYTHING CROSSED FOR YOU

Much snow there?! I'm at work and worried about getting home later!

xx

pixi2 Fri 18-Jan-13 12:33:40

So sorry for you. I miscarried one of the twins in their 6th week. Nineteen months later I can look at dd and not think about her twin with every look. Let it hurt though. Don't try and get over it straight away.

C4ALR Fri 18-Jan-13 17:09:02

I had paid day off today, we had to close as its a.nursery and snow was bad. It is quite alot not snowing at the moment tho.

I think I can test wk monday but I cant wait. Not sure y but my nipples r bloody sore at minute, I would say tmi but the things weve discused thats nothin ha.

Make sure u r careful in the snow dnt go falling over or anything x

C4ALR Fri 18-Jan-13 17:11:58

Hi pixi2, im feelin alot better now, its been 3 months and I am noe back on my fertility treatment and tryin again. It was the most horrible thing I have ever been through but was lucky to have lots of support on here and friends and family

I am very sorry for your loss xx

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 13:20:05

Oh a week on Monday is ages... Rubbish. You need a new hobby to take your mind off it in the meantime!xx

C4ALR Sun 20-Jan-13 14:14:04

Haha, yer the old one is boring now, ha. Iv bought a test today so I got one ready, im goin ti b so tempted to do it early tho x

C4ALR Tue 22-Jan-13 15:07:34

This week is goin sooo slow, iv got a water infection now and on antibiotics. Its gettin on my nerves keep havin stuff rong.

How are you? Has your friend started clomid yet x

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 15:33:59

Oh no, that sucks!! Still, good to get it sorted out now. And yes, the two week wait is horrifically slow, it feels like time has stood still! And I hate to say it, but time stays really slow until (in my experience) you get safely past the point you miscarried last time - which for me meant 12 whole weeks. Thankfully seems to have sped up a bit again now so almost back to normal.

No she hasn't, she's in the maldives at the moment so won't be starting it until she's back from there. I really do hope that it works for both VERY quickly, you both deserve it so much.

16 week midwife appointment today. Had a bit of blood on Sunday which made me feel sick, so had to wait until today for the routine appt. She explained that they don't usually listen for the heartbeat at 16 weeks as more often than not you can't find it. I think my bf and I looked so disappointed that she took pity on us: she tried, found it, and all is well. Such a relief smile

C4ALR Tue 22-Jan-13 20:48:20

That is bizare they told u that cos I had a scan at 5 weeks and they found a heartbeat. Last time for about a.week b4 I done a test I had like period pains but iv got nothin so im wondering if it aint happenrd this time.

Bet u were so scared wen u saw.blood I would of freaked out big time.
So glad all is well for you I really am pleased x

janey1234 Wed 23-Jan-13 09:26:48

No I think with scans they can pick them up really early, but the midwife only has a doppler hearing thingy and I think they don't pick things up in the same way as scans...

Oh, I really hope it has, but if it hasn't, there's always next month. At least your body is back to working normally now.

xx

C4ALR Thu 24-Jan-13 09:35:46

Oh right I see, I thought u meant you were goin for a scan.

I did have some funny feelings happening in my tummy yday but im not sure if im imagining them cos I want it so bad. Only a few more days till I can test smile x

janey1234 Thu 24-Jan-13 10:55:09

Did you say it was monday you could test? Argh, not long now smile

Any kind of twinges are, in my experience, a good thing.

But remember, if it's not this month don't despair, it WILL still happen xxx

C4ALR Fri 25-Jan-13 14:36:24

Oh god I hope so, iv done a test last nighy but it came up negative but I was too eager think it was much to early, well_ fingers crossed it was just too early.

Only couple more days to go!!

I no noy to expect it to happen straight away but I no I am going to be so gutted if it hasnt worked but im tryin really hard to'stay positive x

janey1234 Fri 25-Jan-13 16:41:08

Of course you are, I understand that and would be too. But at least you can try again next month...

Right - will be thinking of you ALL weekend that you get good news next time you text. Oh and remember it's best to test first thing in the morning because the hormones are less diluted and more concentrated in your urine....

GOOD LUCK! xxx

C4ALR Fri 25-Jan-13 19:58:21

Thank u, I am wishing the weekend away ha x

janey1234 Sat 26-Jan-13 19:19:53

When can you test? Tomorrow or Monday? Fingers crossed for you!!xx

C4ALR Sun 27-Jan-13 18:36:38

I can test monday I think that would b 10 days after wen I think I ovulated and the test I got says u can do it 4 days before a missed period x

janey1234 Sun 27-Jan-13 20:51:05

Well good luck for tomorrow then! But remember that if you get a negative don't give up - the tests aren't as effective until your period is due...xx

C4ALR Sun 27-Jan-13 22:11:24

Yer I no im just to impaitent but il ley u no x

C4ALR Mon 28-Jan-13 07:40:51

It was negative sad im goin to try and wait till the end of the thr week to do anuva one as long as I dnt get rhe dreaded P word start, by then I shud get a true reading surely.x

janey1234 Mon 28-Jan-13 08:32:08

sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad

There's still hope - as I said I think they're about 60% accurate at this point, but 99% accurate on the day your period is due. xxx

C4ALR Mon 28-Jan-13 10:49:11

Yer ur right, im not 100% sure wen it is due I no its between now and the next 7 days, I think it may b thursday as that would b 14 days after ov, but were c sad x

janey1234 Mon 28-Jan-13 11:06:48

I'm not trying to give you false hope, but here's my story.

Had started my period 2nd October. Tested on weds 24th October and got BFN (I think 10 days after ovulation). Tested on Fri 26th October and got BFP (I think 12 days after ovulation). Used a first response early response test both times. So it is possible to get a negative when you test too early.

But also remember that I think there's only a something like 30% chance of getting pregnant on any one cycle, whether you're on clomid or not, so don't give up hope if this isn't your month - it's just normal for it to take a few months smile

C4ALR Mon 28-Jan-13 15:39:16

Yer I am tryin to think its just too early if I ov.wen I think I did 14 days after wil b thursday.

Last night and this afternoon I have had period like pains... I remember gettin them last time I was pregnant cos I kept thinkin I was goin to come on... Just not sure if they r.propa period pains or not x

C4ALR Tue 29-Jan-13 10:38:06

What date did u get ur positive after u had had ur negative results x

janey1234 Tue 29-Jan-13 10:49:29

To mornings later, which was the morning before my period was due... xx

janey1234 Tue 29-Jan-13 11:22:40

Argh typo, two mornings later, not to! x

C4ALR Tue 29-Jan-13 19:48:09

I want to wait til friday which will b a day after wen I think im due but im just so impaitent, so might do one tomoro ha x

Franimal Tue 29-Jan-13 22:08:04

I've suffered two missed miscarriages, both exactly the same at 11 weeks (baby not grown past 6 weeks) and whilst on holiday. Awful... There is a light, after first miscarriage we conceived in 3 months and now do have a little girl. After second miscarriage we conceived in 2 months, this time they'll let me have an early scan so fingers crossed... It is hard when all your friends are getting pregnant all around you and having an easy time. Important to be positive. You never forget but it does get easier with time.

C4ALR Wed 30-Jan-13 10:38:23

I cant imagine having another one, im scared if I am or if I do fall pregnant again it will happen again because I dont no how I would cope.

I agree I havnt forgot not by a long shot but it has got easier. Im not sure how many threads u have read but I have pcos so have to take clomid to help me conceive, last time I fell straight away I am currently waitin to do a pregnancy test as I am due to have a period start tomorrow so fingers crossed it doesnt come smile

Thank u for your positive thoughts and I am very sorry to hear about ur losses x

C4ALR Wed 30-Jan-13 22:25:55

I had convinced myself today I was going to get a positive test so I done one as to my workings out I thought I was due on tomorro and it'still came back negative.

I feel really rubish tonight now, I no theres still time but that doesnt help me feeling like this today, I just keep cryin for no reason xx

janey1234 Thu 31-Jan-13 09:58:46

Of course you do, EVERYONE has horrendous disappointment each month they get a BFN, and that's without having been through what you've been through. So this might not be your month, but that's NORMAL. The vast majority of people don't get pregnant the first time they try, so statistically it's bound to take you a few goes. But you WILL get there. You've done it once, so you can do it again. Please please try not to be too down as it will all work out for you in the end....xxxxx

C4ALR Thu 31-Jan-13 11:32:41

I dnt understand it tho cos I still havent come on, which makes me wonder if the tablets even actually worked this time, oh I dnt no il just have to wait and see what happens... And just wait for a period to cone wen it does I spose.

I just feel I shouldnt even feel like this now I should b gettin excited for my arrival id b 23 weeks by now and instead I am stressing out and crying.. It feels so so unfair x

Hope ur well and ok and thanks by the way xx

janey1234 Thu 31-Jan-13 12:39:17

It is so unfair. But horribly, horribly common. It will be awful until you've passed your due date, even if you are pregnant by then, as you'll always be thinking I'd be x many weeks pregnant. Oddly once I passed that date it did start to feel better.

But you WILL get pregnant soon. And if the drugs have worked for you once they will work again. This might not be your month but you will get there

Poor you sad xxx

C4ALR Fri 01-Feb-13 16:12:20

I still havent come on yet so im still hoping abit. Iv come away for the weekend with my mum and sister for a.weekend of shopping so hopefully it will cheer me up abit xx

fairygirl1006 Sat 02-Feb-13 14:06:49

Hi - I am currently 5 weeks 6 days pregnant (or was??). I had some abdominal pains last Sunday night and went to A&E where I had blood tests done and was booked in for a EPU scan. I had the scan last Tue, ultrasound and vaginal, and could see the sac and foetus but no heartbeat as it is too early in the pregnancy (I thought I was 7 weeks but was told on Tuesday I was 5 weeks+2).
I went to back to A&E last Thursday as I have been bleeding since the scan (I always bleed after smears so thought it may be due to this) - started off as barely any blood on wiping to heavier although still nothing like a period and only one clot to date. This has since turned to a brown discharge (stringy) - apologies for TMI. I had further blood tests on Thursday night and was told my HCG levels have barely increased so was basically told I am miscarrying. Since this time I have continued to bleed (on wiping - sometimes red but mainly brown stringy discharge still). I had more blood tests this morning and again my HCG levels have hardly increased let alone doubled (early 4000's Thurs and late 4000's this morning). I have subsequently been told it is a 'failed pregnancy' but need to go back this Monday morning for further blood tests. I wad given no advice on when I may miscarry etc and was told it could take up to 2-weeks to pass the 'baby' naturally and for my hormone levels to start to decrease again and only then would they consider surgery to remove what's left.
I know this is a job they do every day and see millions of cases but I really feel so unsupported. I have little support around me - partner is useless (I was ending the relationship when I discovered I was pregnant and I was over the moon and cant believe how much I love the little 'bean' in the week I have known about his/her existence; especially after seeing it on the scan screen).
I cant bear the thought of having to wait around to pass the baby; especially after reading how painful it can be. I can not take any time off work, and working as a Social Worker with many new-born babies, I am absolutely terrified it will happen at work. I have told my Manager about the situation as I was due to go on Pre-Birth training this Monday and cant face the idea, so have said I will not be in as I have blood tests anyway first thing that day :-(
I am 36 and never been pregnant before so all of this is new to me. I didn't think I could have children after getting raped aged 19 and being left in a bit of a mess internally and having lots of Gynae problems over the years. It was a miracle and although it was not planned and I was shocked, I feel that little bean saved my life!
I wondered if anyone has been through similar or has any advice for me.

many thanks

nearlyreadytopop Sun 03-Feb-13 10:03:21

hi Fairygirl
Im so sorry about your little bean. It really is horrible and the waiting makes it worse.
I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks so I can give you some idea of what to expect though everyone is different.
I had a bit of bleeding so I visited the EPU, they didnt do blood tests just scanned and said it was very early and to come back in 2 weeks!! or if the bleeding got worse. The bleeding slowly increased over a few days. At this point I passed my mucus plug (i thought it was the baby) so I went back to EPU, they scanned and said the sac was still there though had moved down a bit. Again sent home and told to come back in a week or if the bleeding got worse. That was Friday, on Saturday night the cramps started and a lot of blood. I basically sat on the loo as there was so much. I felt something which turned out to be the sac. The EPU had given me a little collection pot incase I wanted them to check it. After this the cramping and bleeding reduced a lot. Back to EPU for scan on Monday and everything was gone. I went back to work on Tuesday which for me was a mistake because I was in complete denial.
Would reccomend maternity towels, hot water bottle, strongest painkillers you can get and access to a loo. Again Im so so sorry you are going through this. I have had lots of advice and support over in the Miscarriage section of this site if you wanted to check it out. Take care if yourself.

C4ALR Sun 03-Feb-13 21:41:42

Hi ladies,
Not sure how many of these threads you have read but I had a mc at 7wks, baby stopped growin at 5. Basically with me I started bleeding and having cramps on sat nighy, went down to hospital sun morn after bein advused by a doctor and was told I was having a threatened misscarriage, they made me an appiontment at epu for scan for tuesday. My dp took me to a private scanning place on the monday and they couldnt find a heart beat.
I decided to pass it naturally which took 9 days of lots of pain and cramps, I finally passsd it one night befor bed, there was severe pain.and more blood but once it passed the paon eased dramatically. I carried on bleeding for approx a month.
I had 3 weeks of work, I was not in anu state mentally or physically to go back.
Now things are looking up I have started my fertility treatment again as I have pcos and were goin to try again.
It is a dreadful thing to happen but very common yoi will realise how common now iy has happened to you. I am very sorry for your losses, if you need to talk I am here to try and help xx

fairygirl1006 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:52:26

Well an update - my HCG levels have increased from 4900 to 5900 in 48-hours - still nowhere near doubling and awaiting a T/C from the Doctor to 'discuss my options'. Dont know what to think or believe anymore because nobody seems to be telling me anything or giving a straight answer :-(

janey1234 Mon 04-Feb-13 14:50:46

Oh fairy how awful for you. Thinking of you, and hope you're ok. x

fairygirl1006 Wed 06-Feb-13 13:47:46

Thanks Janey1234. I am sooooooo confused right now. It's like living in a state of limbo. I go to work everyday in a complete daze and barely know what days it is, from one day to the next. I have had absolutely NO miscarriage symptoms,. The bleeding I DID have has stopped altogether. I have never had any pain and I still have sore boobs and nausea (although no actual morning sickness). I have my scan next Tues (12th) where I assume they will be telling me there is no heartbeat given that I am have already a vaginal scan and u/s which showed the sac and the baby??? I am going to push for a D&C and not wait up to 6 weeks to miscarry naturally if 'bean' has genuinely gone. Even though I have accepted the situation in my head now, I feel that I need to wait for the scan to confirm everything rather than just base a decision on blood-tests given the stories I have googled and read where women have gone on to deliver healthy babies even when their HCG levels were minimally increasing??

creativecrafter Thu 13-Nov-14 15:51:35

Hello
This is my first post. I also just found out I had a mmc. I am 8w+4 and woke up this morning with bleeding. Saw GP immediately and broke down because I said that I felt like I was flying blind. GP referred me to EPU and they saw me immediately. Did internal scan and delivered the bad news. I was all alone as DH was overseas on a work trip. All my family lives overseas so I didn't have anyone. Midwife staff were lovely and very supportive but I just wanted to get out of there and speak to DH. Poor thing couldn't believe the news as just that morning he told me he had dreamt of our future baby. He jumped on next flight and was home just a few moments ago. My MIL was also so sweet and came to see me immediately. She was very philosophical and so supportive. I've stopped crying now and now have to think about whether I want the mc to happen naturally or to book in for a D&C. The procedure itself doesn't worry me but any chance of infection does. My bleeding stopped during the day but has started agsin so I'm wondering if the natural process has now started? Just devastated.

jbee1979 Thu 13-Nov-14 21:34:01

Hey creative. I'm sorry for your loss. This thread is very old - you'd be better posting in "miscarriage and pregnancy loss" I think it's called, in "body & soul" - ladies will definitely be able to help you there. I had a MMC in March at 12+4 and I had surgical management and it was the best option for me. I would recommend it, it made the best of a very bad time. thinking of you thanks

creativecrafter Thu 13-Nov-14 23:08:42

thanks jbee1979. Appreciate the tip and advice. I'm new to this site. I'll try the other forum. Hope you are ok now?

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