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"Push present"

(99 Posts)

My preggy-friend asked me the other day what I was getting for my "Push Present"... I had no idea what she meant. She is having her third child and informed me that her husband had taken her to Hatton Gardens to buy an eternity ring for the "completion of their family"... how lovely, lucky her! I'm due to have my sixth (and last) child and as far as I'm aware no diamonds are coming my way!! Are Push Present normal??? Should I be upset?

Pootles2010 Mon 15-Oct-12 15:42:35

Push present? Is she not allowed it if she has a c-section?

megandraper Mon 15-Oct-12 15:42:51

My push present was a baby each time. Quite happy with that. I don't know anyone who's had anything else (or if they have they haven't mentioned it!)

terilou87 Mon 15-Oct-12 15:45:55

iv never heard this term before!!!angry 4th pregnancy my o/h has a lot of making up to do!! hmm should i ask for 4 separate rings or one really expensive one.... grin

sununu Mon 15-Oct-12 15:46:50

is she American? I heard this expression first in NYC, apparently quite a common thing with Manhattan wives of bankers. horrible expression, slightly odd concept IMO.

UnChartered Mon 15-Oct-12 15:48:32

is this for real? a gift for having a baby? are babies now attached to possessions?

EdithWeston Mon 15-Oct-12 15:52:11

I think this new term is an abomination, but yes it's been common for ages to be given an eternity ring or other jewellery on the occasion of childbirth. But it's far from 'compulsory' and doesn't have to be bling.

colditz Mon 15-Oct-12 15:52:22

<<faint moue of disgust>>

stargirl1701 Mon 15-Oct-12 15:53:01

I got an iPad grin

Ok, well I won't subtly stick a list of push present ideas to the fridge then... but if it were a spontaneous gift from hubs for presenting him with his sixth child it would be lovely...

ThreeWheelsGood Mon 15-Oct-12 16:05:07

Haha, I've only heard of this on Real Housewives of Orange County. One wife got a fancy new car as her push present. I think it's just something rich Americans invented, I agree with the poster above who says the baby is the present!

nickeldaisical Mon 15-Oct-12 16:10:20

whilst i agree that a "push present" is tosh, I do like the idea of getting pressies for having given birth. grin
(this counts for c-sections as well as VBs - major abdominal surgery is worth a pressie!)

in fact, I use it as an excuse everytime i want something that I can't really justify buying.
"DH i need a new bra - well, i did have a baby!"
"DH, I need a new top - none of mine fit me because of the baby"
and "dh, i want a pressie on DD's birthday - it is my birthday, I'm the one who gave birth"

MyDaydream Mon 15-Oct-12 16:18:09

DP would laugh at me and explain not bring pregnant anymore is my push present.

melliebobs Mon 15-Oct-12 16:21:44

Dh got me a bf bracelet. It cost about £5 and there's a lil charm on it that says breast buddies on one side and this side next on the other. Lol it was only a lil token after all I had a nice new squishy baby but almost cried the other day thinking I'll have to stop wearing it when I stop bf

MrsBungleBear Mon 15-Oct-12 16:22:01

I got presents for giving birth from DH! Wasn't called a push present though. My DD was born in June and the birth stone is pearl so I got a pink pearl ring which I love. My DS was born in May and I've not had my present yet as not found anything I like yet but it will be something with an emerald.

I like collecting jewelry not that I have much so its really just to commemorate their births.

cbeebiesatemybrain Mon 15-Oct-12 16:32:43

Thats quite a yucky term! Dh bought me a bunch of flowers to say thanks for his new dd, I was touched grin

Horrible term! I got a teddy bear charm for my bracelet, and a pair of uggs for our DS's birth. Had no idea I was getting anything. My lovely inlaws also gave me a gorgeous jewellery set, and my fantastic parents looked after my DH whilst I was in hospital, and then all of us when I came out. All lovely gifts smile

Polipencoch Mon 15-Oct-12 16:46:27

Don't think push present is very nice. I'm not expecting anything. But due to being admitted to hospital (35 weeks, probably for the duration) I have been bought a dongle and a kindle. And a mug. Perhaps not bling or romantic but at least practical! (aside - a few years ago neither dongles nor kindles existed - what would I have done!)

Jakeyblueblue Mon 15-Oct-12 17:01:47

Dh bought me an eternity ring after I had ds but I thought that tradition? Am I wrong? Never heard of a push present though!

SquealyB Mon 15-Oct-12 17:03:44

Slighty vulgar term which originated in the US.

Your present is your lovely little baby! If you get something else, all well and good, but there should certainly be no expectation. And no reason to berate poor DH.

Dogsmom Mon 15-Oct-12 17:22:18

We recently went shopping to buy a present for our next door neighbours new baby and my husband commented said 'I always think you should buy the Mother a present'.

Naturally I now wont let him forget this comment as I am 19 weeks pregnant and am looking forward to seeing what he buys me grin

DuelingFanjo Mon 15-Oct-12 17:23:45

I also got a baby, I was really pleased with it.

CaptainHetty Mon 15-Oct-12 17:24:45

...Does a pastry and a cup of tea from Costa count? I was quite happy with it grin

IShallCallYouSquishy Mon 15-Oct-12 17:26:38

I'm still waiting for mine! DH wasn't too impressed by the idea, for some reason he thinks I don't need a LV handbag angry

My beautiful DD was the best present I could have asked for though grin

JustSpidero Mon 15-Oct-12 17:28:38

I had a jam doughnut with a candle in it - was still in hospital after having DD a week later on my own birthday!

I did get an eternity ring the following year the arrival of which coincided with our 1st and 30th birthday's respectively.

If I'd actually said to DH I was expecting a 'push present' he'd have either PHSL or told me in no uncertain terms to jog on probably both!

Chocaholics Mon 15-Oct-12 17:30:27

My present was a baby! Although I was asked by a male friend what push present I was getting as his wife was due a month before me and she wanted a diamond bracelet. Seems to be getting more common though

Minty82 Mon 15-Oct-12 17:34:46

My dad gave my mum a ring when I was born - definitely not called a push present by anyone though!

I got a box of chocolates and some bath stuff, which were both lovely...and the world's most fabulous daughter, which was even nicer.

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake Mon 15-Oct-12 17:36:26

I got a present.

My husband being so happy with this babies was a present.

But more importantly my husband was there the very second visiting hours for dads started with a different cake everyday when I was in hospital.

Startailoforangeandgold Mon 15-Oct-12 18:00:42

My push present was a Mountain buggy, I pushed that many happy miles.grin

Mollydoggerson Mon 15-Oct-12 18:05:17

It's a horrible, grabby idea isn't it?

My DH brought me a big bag of wine gums and a giant bar of Dairy Milk when he came to the hospital the day after DD was born - along with gorgeous DD, those were the best presents ever! I'm now pg with DC2 and hoping for the same.

JustSpidero Mon 15-Oct-12 18:26:41

But more importantly my husband was there the very second visiting hours for dads started with a different cake everyday when I was in hospital.

Clearly my husband should've upped his game with his solitary doughnut! grin

AbbyRue Mon 15-Oct-12 19:05:21

Never heard of the term push present but DH has got me rings after the birth of our 2 DCs. Nothing expensive though, more of a token or gift kind of thing. I doubt it's "compulsory" smile

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 19:08:43

everyone I know who got a "pushing present" decided what they were going to get in advancy and would have given their OHs hell if they hadn't got it right.. which IMO sort of sucks the joy out of a present anyway as they weren't so much given as demanded.. so what's the point? (I know the point! its all braggy and one-up-manship type women who get em!)

DH was busy bringing me in things I NEEDED, like making trips to tescos for me with lists that went along the lines of " most massive nan pants you can find, maternity pads, chocolate, breast pads.." - that stuff is more important to me than a Cath Kidson change bag or tacky but expensive pandora bracelet!

AlisonDB Mon 15-Oct-12 19:09:06

My dad bought my mum a bottle of her favorite perfume after she had me (37) and an eternity ring after she had my brother (32)
they only wanted 2 kids.
So it's not that new a concept, it just wasn't given a stupid name ;-)
It was more an appreciation of what my mum had been through both in her pregnancies and also during and after labour.

My hubby bought me perfume after DS1 and now with DS2 I'm also thinking I'll get perfume.

Plunkett Mon 15-Oct-12 19:10:46

One of the women at work asked if I'd chosen a 'push present' yet and was quite amused when I looked at her blankly.
I mentioned it to my Dh and again after seeing this thread but just got a withering look!
As others have said having Dh there all day and waiting by the door as soon as allowed the next day meant more than anything with dc1, and I'm sure will be the same this time.

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 19:10:48

TBH, thinking about it, I'd actually be ANNOYED with DH if he spend a stupid amt on pushing jewellery at a time when we are budgeting for a new baby.. I'ld be like "I could have got a better buggy if I'd known we had a spare £150 angry"

fraktion Mon 15-Oct-12 19:14:13

DH upheld his family tradition of getting me a diamond ring for presenting him with his son and heir. They don't do diamond engagement rings. Normally I'm the first to say his family are bizarre but I actually rather like my eternity ring. Not sure whether I'd have been given anything if DS had been a girl hmm

A bit of jewellery to mark the occasion and possibly pass on to the child is a nice idea, I love jewellery, however I despise the term push present. Vile.

RubyrooUK Mon 15-Oct-12 19:36:57

I got a massive cup of coffee and after once forgetting mother's day, DH has now started buying me presents on DS' birthday too for "what you went through for us to get him".

I get DH nothing to celebrate the part he played in DS' conception because as I remember it, he got quite a serious amount of enjoyment out of it at the time.


BikeRunSki Mon 15-Oct-12 19:49:46

... damn it, that's another couple of presents I have missed out on. Didn't know about engagement presents either!

BikeRunSki Mon 15-Oct-12 19:50:59

Must be because I had two crash emcs.

wheresmespecs Mon 15-Oct-12 20:01:24

I had a planned CS so would not have qualified for a 'push present'.

I don't feel too hard done by as I got a baby and have a partner who is willing to do his share of parenting and childcare.

Gawsh... after reading all these posts I don't know if it's more vile to expect a present or to expect absolutely nothing. Truth be told, if my husband shows up with a cold cup of tea and a tube of hemorrhoid cream I'll be disappointed.

JustSpidero Mon 15-Oct-12 21:01:40

In all honesty, Diamonds, I very much doubt you'll care when it comes to it.

I struggled to remember whether my DH had or not. Apart from the doughnut, I got a beautiful card & DD had a lovely play gym thingy. Most importantly he was there all day, every day, held the bowl when I was sick in labour (in spite of being almost phobic about people throwing up), sat with me through my EMCS even though he's so squeamish he can't watch surgery on TV, and invited my parents in to see DD first, even though he has a somewhat temperamental relationship with them.

It's those things I remember and that mean something to me, and it would still be those things, even if he'd bought me the entire contents of Liz Taylor's jewellery box.

Chunkychicken Mon 15-Oct-12 21:22:34

My DH gave me sapphire earrings following the birth of our DD, to match the sapphire necklace (my birthstone) he had bought me for my 30th a few months before. He bought them out of his own money, of his own accord, without any demands from me. I thought it incredibly touching & cried buckets. My most precious gifts from my DH, apart from my DD & DC#2 who's still cooking, are my wedding & engagement rings & that jewellery.

I don't like the phrase 'push present' & don't like the thought of making demands for it, but I find some of the comments about it on here a bit much. So what if some DHs choose to buy gifts for their DWs on the occassion of the birth of their child?

For the record, my DH was back at the hospital 4hrs after he left (having had very little sleep) & was an incredible support during my labour & birth, & the first few weeks after. This was as much appreciated than the jewellery. One does not negate or preclude the other...

panicnotanymore Mon 15-Oct-12 21:23:57

Oh yuck - what a horrible idea. I don't want diamonds or eternity rings or anything even remotely similar. I want a healthy full term baby and an H who is a devoted dad.

Is there anything left that doesn't have an expensive present requirement attached?

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 21:58:13

I'ld also have sobbed if I'ld been given an eternity ring after giving birth to DS1, my fingers were so swollen for a while afterwards and it would have been a bit depressing smile

most of the stuff you hear about being given as pushing presents are just SO impractical for a new mum really

debbie1412 Mon 15-Oct-12 22:00:15

Each to their own, no diamond ring or anything else for that matter will make those 2 hour feeds any easier.

wheresmespecs Mon 15-Oct-12 22:02:36

Well I agree Chunky - it's not like a partner can't get the mother of his children AND be hugely supportive and valuable as a partner and father. Fair enough.

I suppose I do find men buying women jewellery, esp expensive jewellery from a wish list, odd and old fashioned somehow. I have a huge soft spot for jewellery, but would rather buy it myself.

Not that makes another woman wrong for liking a certain kind of jewellery or enjoying a gift from their husband.

I do dislike the name 'push present' though. 'Gusset gift' anyone? 'Perineum present'?

rogersmellyonthetelly Mon 15-Oct-12 22:17:01

Push present is a hideous term, but the idea of a gift to a woman who has, usually in considerable discomfort, carried your child for 9 months and then laboured (or undergone a section which is just as worthy!) is a nice way to show your appreciation I think. Diamonds a probably slightly excessive, but a bunch of flowers and the promise of a cup of tea in bed every morning for the next 100 years or so wouldn't go amiss I feel. <mental note to show this thread to dh tomorrow>

halloweeneyqueeney Mon 15-Oct-12 22:22:31

I guess that because anyone who has ever met me wouldn't get me something like that at a time like that, I think that the typical "pushing presents" of jewellery, purfume, handbags etc show a total lack of understanding of where I would be at that time, so couldn't possibly come from someone who was giving me decent support!

(jewellery, purfume and handbags are ace, but not shortly before or after giving birth! )

minipie Mon 15-Oct-12 22:59:26

Horrid term. Sadly quite common in yummy mummy land where I currently live I think. I'd far rather have DH's time and attention and have dinner cooked for me etc, than diamonds or a handbag. If I want those I can buy them myself grin

AlisonDB Mon 15-Oct-12 23:00:47

I have to i agree with Chunky, some of the comments on here are getting a bit too much, off course our babies are the most magical gift and yes we all I'm sure want a healthy baby that goes without saying surely?!

apart from DH buying me perfume, which i loved!
he was also very very supportive after during and after my labour, bringing the practical things to the hospital, looking after our DS while I slept, (even though he'd also been awake through the night) cooking
our dinner, phoning/answering the phone to family and friends when i was too tired, and making sure I had all the practical things too.
But again surely as the father and our husband/partner that's his job to help look after support his new family.

Mixxy Mon 15-Oct-12 23:21:40

It is a really horrid phrase that started in the US for the uber wealthy. Now a days though almost everyone does it. (I do live in Manhattan though). It's not a massive gift, but just a little something to recognize the 9 months you've put in and the awesome job you did giving birth. I think it's kind of sweet, apart from the gross name.

madamecake Tue 16-Oct-12 09:29:21

Never heard of it either. Though I did get a big box of yummy cupcakes and a tube of Pringles. Does that count?
I have heard of getting an eternity ring when first child is born, but I already had one as an anniversary present.

Goldrill Tue 16-Oct-12 11:00:58

My DP has just bought me a decent treadmill for after the baby is born which I am extremely pleased about! I don't think he got me anything for the first one, but he does turn up with flowers from time to time, is good at buying the right cake at the right moment and is a general all round good egg.

(I may also, perhaps, have been mentioning the treadmill on a daily basis for the past few months). Not really a jewellery kind of gal.

minipie Tue 16-Oct-12 11:14:27

grin if DH got me a treadmill for post baby he'd probably have something thrown at him! But obviously if you want one that's different smile

SquealyB Tue 16-Oct-12 11:14:32

IMO presents should be willing given not extracted. If your DH/DP gives you a gift (big or small) that is lovely and I would certainly not be adverse to recieving one in January but I suppose my earlier post was meant to say that this not the most important thing.

I know that should be obvious but I have a couple of friends who are also pregnant and generally getting a bit "grabby" and competitive. "Push presents" are just the next thing that they expect along with designer buggy, designer changing bag, "baby moon" to luxury destination (vomit inducing phrase) etc. TBH the one-up manship is just dreadful at the moment.

LeafySuburbs Tue 16-Oct-12 11:17:56

'push present' is a vile expression.

I did get an eternity ring for mother's day shortly after birth of first child (no pushing was involved, however!). Was hoping for another pressie after second child but have got nothing sad. Dropped a few hints and was told to eff off!

Natanotherone Tue 16-Oct-12 11:26:48

My hubby bought me a beautiful Tiffany necklace as a present and gift... Mostly it's just a token something for going through 9 months of pregnancy etc and it has three hearts on each one smaller than the last smile I love it and it was so thoughtful of him smile x

Rockchick1984 Tue 16-Oct-12 11:56:57

I don't see why some people seem to think that receiving a gift, and having a helpful DH are mutually exclusive! I got my eternity ring for going through 9 months of pregnancy aches and pains, and for enduring labour and a battered lady garden off my DH. I didn't ask him for it, and certainly wouldn't use the term "pushing present" but I thought it was a lovely gesture off him to show how much he appreciates me for it. He's also an amazing dad, has done far more than his fair share of night feeds, housework when I was too tired with a newborn, and generally being fantastic.

PoohBearsHole Tue 16-Oct-12 12:22:54

I gave myself a push present - does that count? Well it was more a present as my dp's had given me a nice stone many years before (badly set in grim green finger making silver) and I had that made into a "proper" ring. Probably only inspired by the fact I'd had a girl so in reality it was always going to be hers smile

Dh bought me a starbucks and the carseat base. Only because i had demanded the starbucks and he couldn't fit the carseat in the car.

Oh and it was a cold starbucks by the time he'd faffed about like that.

PeshwariNaan Tue 16-Oct-12 13:05:10

I find the whole concept of a "push present" obnoxious and annoying. I've asked DH to prepare a very runny cheese board and have a selection of Belgian beers on hand. That'll do - after all the real present is the baby, and the help that DH will be giving as a father after the birth!

along with the fact that we're on a tight budget so splashing out on a giant gemstone ring as I've seen some friends do would be outrageous

harrietspy Tue 16-Oct-12 13:11:39

I'm with you, Peshwari. I had a Hoegaarten. There's a brilliant post on the Renegade Mothering blog about push presents: www.renegademothering.com/2012/07/11/as-promised-push-present-post/

Splinters Tue 16-Oct-12 13:22:53

I don't like the idea very much -- makes having a baby sound like a bit of a transaction between me and DH. I don't want to be thanked for having 'his' baby, because it isn't, it's both of ours.

PeshwariNaan Tue 16-Oct-12 13:23:01

harriet: LOVE Renegade Mothering! thanks for posting! grin

MrsHBaby3 Tue 16-Oct-12 14:09:15

I never knew that eternity rings were given for givng birth, I always wondered.. and now I know I'll be asking hubby!

minipie Tue 16-Oct-12 14:13:42

See, all our money is joint, so if DH were to buy me an expensive piece of jewellery, that would be money we couldn't spend on something else. I'd rather save towards a lovely holiday with babysitter services or a new sofa.

Of course if funds were limitless then a piece of jewellery would be nice. But if funds were limitless then I could go and buy myself one tomorrow and not have to use having a baby as an excuse.

WockComble Mon 22-Oct-12 13:40:52

I got a baby.

I also got a diamond ring shaped like a flower.

Still trying to decide which I like best.

Today? Probably the baby (now toddler), but then he is at nursery.

weeblueberry Mon 22-Oct-12 13:52:52

Oh thank you for introducing me to Renegade Mothering harriet

"OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD do you really think some GIFT is going to make up for the fact that I now pee on myself when I sneeze, my tits kick it near my belly, and my stomach bulges like an overflowing cupcake?"


Mylittlepuds Mon 22-Oct-12 15:43:41

My friend received a diamond sparkler. Her DH presented reminded her to show us it when we went to see baby for the first time. Yuck.

BobbiFleckmann Mon 22-Oct-12 15:46:47

mine were Production Bonuses, not "push presents"

Hate, hate, hate the term. HATE IT!

Deeply love the necklace I got the Christmas after DS was born (so 6 months later) with DS's birthstone on it. But that was a Christmas present, not a 'push present' - argh, it just seems so transactional and yucky!

And yes, I'd love another stone on there after DS2 is born in December - but not a 'push present' - my equivalent has always been DH being a bloody hero doing all the housework, dogwalking, and adoration-of-the-baby every single second he was awake. God, I love that man! Seeing him and DS wrestle and read stories and hunt beetles together every day is the greatest gift.

Seriously, I love the ruby necklace, though.

I get DH techie gadgets for anniversary presents. He gets me jewelry. We both get what we like (and we both give a lot of guidance, truth be told!) and wouldn't splurge on for ourselves - and it's lovely.

Whatever works for you, I suppose - specially cakes. Lots of cakes!

How crass. hmm

rrreow Mon 22-Oct-12 16:17:34

My DH told me a story about his grandmother, who on the successful pushing out of each baby would receive a brand new dress from her husband. Very generous, no?

18wksplus Mon 22-Oct-12 17:27:30

It's an American term. We've moved to the US where #2 will be born (#1 born in the UK), so I've told DH if he expects a #3 I want something!! Just trying to assimilate ;)

nickeldaisical Mon 22-Oct-12 17:27:39

is that because she gave birth in her old one?

rrreow Tue 23-Oct-12 13:07:59

nickeldaisical grin

lolajane2009 Sun 28-Oct-12 01:01:42

I got a hell of a lot of gas and air (was upset to give that up) and the son I tried 8 years for.

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Sun 28-Oct-12 07:31:35

OP's is just a posher version of the traditional flowers. I think it's lovely some OH's turn it into something more of a keepsake, like rings at weddings, special gifts at certain birthdays. It is an important family event and we often mark these in different ways, why not? Love the idea of a jam doghnut... must get a doughnut now!

allchik Sun 28-Oct-12 09:04:14

I think some people r talking as though if a man gets u a pressy it means he doesnt view the child as a gift or is going to be shit round the house!?Bit harsh!
Would never call it or ask for a push present but imagine my (lovely,excited,unshowy)hub prob will get me something,dnt see how marking the birth of a child with a gift is wrong?A nice bunch of flowers,piece of unexpensive jewelry would be lovely if he does,but wnt be bothered if he doesnt. He got me a present when I had a mc in feb,when we could of said the 'present' was my health (traumatic hospital stay) whats the biggy?

EggsMichelle Sun 28-Oct-12 11:00:08

I'm not expecting a present, my DH couldn't organise that, but he is having a bracelet he bought me engraved with the DOB. I don't really think I need a prize from him for successfully giving birth!

skandi1 Sun 28-Oct-12 11:33:20

They were not "push presents" as I had two cs so technically no pushing involved (other than pushing DDs head back up pre first emcs). DH bough a beautiful Georg Jensen diamond Fusion ring the first time. Not immediately though about 4 months after DD was born. For DS birth, he bought a stunning pair of Georg Jensen Cascade diamond earrings to match the necklace he gave me on our wedding day.

They were not expected but both very generous and very much appreciated by me after two tough surgical births and a tough recovery the first time around

Vagazzled Sun 28-Oct-12 11:40:38

Eternity rings? Diamonds?
I got [flowers] sore boobs and a VERY gorgeous dd grin

LollopingLil Sun 28-Oct-12 11:49:17

Never heard this term, certainly never expected anything. But DH bought me a beautiful necklace after DS was born. I'm 22 weeks with DS2 at the moment and the other day he asked out of nowhere whether I'd like a new iPad when he arrives! I'm hardly going to say no! Plus DH is not known for his romantic gestures (cards tend to involve a lot of farting), so I have been incredibly touched by these thoughts. Very lovely of him.

SarahC1985 Sun 11-Nov-12 16:22:36

I only recently heard of this but when I had my last baby, a few friends bought the baby stuff but got me a few things also and it made my day! I got some nice bath sets and a new dress, just in appreciation of what I had done and it was nice to be appreciated! So I say, let people have their push presents, it's tough being pregnant for 9months and going through labour, coupled with after pains, no sleep etc. Of course having a baby who is healthy and happy is the real gift but isnt it nice to be appreciated? This time, I have a chilled bottle of Moet and Chandon sitting in the fridge, which I bought for myself and can't wait to pop open!

specialknickers Sun 11-Nov-12 17:12:35

My DH made me an amazing hamper with all the banned goods I'd craved for nine months - runny french cheeses, a bottle of my all time favourite wine, pate, smoked meats... bliss.

He also bought me a vintage diamond ring. He didn't call it a push present though, that's a bit crass.

I am spoilt though, I will freely admit it. smile

philbee Sun 11-Nov-12 17:22:42

Have to say I'm finding all this a bit grim. DH bought me a portable radio when I went on mat leave so I could listen to it while feeding, but it wasn't a reward. We both wanted the baby, and we both want this one. We split housework now, he does a lot of cooking and after DD was born he fetched things for me, shopped and was a very loving dad, apart from the feeding it was evenly split. I can't imagine anything less practical than a diamond ring with all those nappies and handwashing. Just seems pretty grotty to bring such lavish gifts into it tbh. I'd rather have the money for a dinner out together later on.

philbee Sun 11-Nov-12 17:23:51

Excluding food / bath gifts from this, should say! It's the jewellery and bags I find a bit blugh.

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo Sun 11-Nov-12 17:29:46

During my current and previous pregnancy, i have / had GD involving testing my blood several times a day, and injecting myself twice, aneamia and spd.. I didnt expect a present which is just as well as I didn't get one!! bloody deserved one though this time I think DP will bring me some nice foods to eat as I've missed some foods and mainly missed my apetite!! He may even think and get me some flowers when i come home but TBH as long as he is supportive (as he was last time) thats enough for me, demanding a gift would be a bit crass.

My dh and i have bought each other earrings/cufflinks on the birth of our daughters. But they certainly arent "push presents" more a gift to each other that marks their births. Dh has had pink enamel and mother if pearl cufflinks. Ive had some silver and dd's birthstone earrings. We both wore our items at their christenings and plan to on other special occassions in their lives.

TwitchyTail Sun 11-Nov-12 17:58:45

Gift to commemorate the birth of a child = lovely

"Push present" = vulgar, transactional and bleurrrgh

(Never mind that they might be exactly the same thing...)

I love the idea of a "banned food basket" specialknickers!

specialknickers Mon 12-Nov-12 13:59:20

Oh it was great twitchy, so thoughtful. And practical as well - we were so knackered for the first week after the labour (25 hours) that it's pretty much all we ate...

specialknickers Mon 12-Nov-12 14:07:45

Philbee a diamond ring a bit grim? Really? I thought it was very sweet. It's actually a tiny little solitaire, which I wear every day next to my wedding ring. It reminds me of DS and how much we planned for and wanted him, and what he means to me and DH. I like that probably people look at it and think what a mean engagement ring as well, because I know what it really is.

And my DH did nearly all of the childcare as well by the way. And mum care. He had to carry me to the toilet and hold me up in the shower I was so beaten up after the birth. I literally couldn't walk for a week, let alone look after a baby. He did all the night wakings, cuddlings and walking-aroundings. I still did the feedings mind, but that's biology for you.

philbee Mon 12-Nov-12 14:34:09

specialknickers, alright, not grim. I'm not a jewellery kind of person, still find my engagement ring a bit freaky tbh! When DH and i started going out i asked him for 'something to wear' (i.e. jewellery) for Christmas. I had an idea that that was the done thing. He bought me a coat. But I liked that more really!

So that's probably it, horses for courses. I'd always go for food or something practical! But I think the idea of marking the birth and being looked after is very nice. Your DH sounds like a good egg all round too.

Rosiesharples Mon 12-Nov-12 16:07:31

I had a bottle of Dom perignon and a bracelet as well as my beautiful DD of course. It was our first baby though so I kind of felt I deserved it after all the nights I spent in alone whilst DH was still out partying! I don't suppose there will be anything so extravagant for bubba no. 2! smile

MrsHoarder Mon 12-Nov-12 16:10:46

I got chocolate when visiting hours started and he could come back to see us. Not special chocolates, just a standard pack. I was delighted.

specialknickers Mon 12-Nov-12 16:14:39

Philbee. He is! I had to kiss a LOT of frogs to find him mind.. grin

kiwigirl42 Mon 12-Nov-12 16:25:10

I love reading these. I'm on the waiting list for a hysterectomy and keep teasing DH, asking what my push present for my uterus is going to be - I'm getting more and more extravagant as the days go by!

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