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Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Mon 08-Oct-12 07:42:26

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

knottyhair Mon 08-Oct-12 08:14:04

Thanks for the new thread Hpbp smile.

ValiumQueen Mon 08-Oct-12 09:31:37

Oh good! Tried to post on last thread and it was full! Hope LRMs DH finds us. So glad baby Dylan is here safely, although it sounds like it was a challenge for all three.

scarecrow22 Mon 08-Oct-12 09:59:51

Morning all. Marking place and sending big congrats to LRM, Lovely sounding DP and baby Dylan. Hope you are appreciating the milk little man.

Exexe Mon 08-Oct-12 10:08:36

Huge congrats to LRM and welcome Baby Dylan.

Hpbp Thanks for the new thread. I love my new kitchen/diner! not only do I have a new kitchen, I have now a utility area, a downstairs cloakroom and an extended upstairs box room so it can continue being dhs office at the back and will be a nursey at the front. Painting and decorating still needs to be completed though.
It has been stressful but its pretty much done so I can kick back a bit now (well for 9 days anyway!!)

KMR281 Mon 08-Oct-12 11:34:27

hello to new thread!
I had a nice weekend, celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary, so that was nice, although no wine!

At midwife today, was told that what I thought was a big bruise, was in fact likely a varicose vein, and I should start wearing support tights! oh no, feel very old now. Where can you even get support tights from?? this is quite depressing.

Plus, she didn't know what was happening re whooping cough jab as she'd been off on hols, so asked GP practice - only one clinic set for far for next monday, when I'm away, so can't go. Typical. Guess they will have more clinics, fingers crossed - just need to remember to actually phone up (brain is currently made of semolina, and is being replaced by a notebook and pen).

hope all ladies, bumps and babies are doing well. Very impresessed at Exexe's home improvements. We have got as far as purchasing tester pots...!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 08-Oct-12 20:07:51

blush. that's my pregnancy brain kicking in. although still baffled why this wasn't at the top of the thread. maybe it was. confused. hello all

congratulations baby dylan!


eagleray Mon 08-Oct-12 21:29:20

wow - 2000 postings in the last few months!

Great to hear from Mr LRM - so glad baby Dylan is here safely and that LRM is ok too.

Midgetm Mon 08-Oct-12 22:37:17

Oh my god I lost you all! <panic emoticon> will check in tomorrow after sweep. Must pass out after manic nesting session. Huge waves to one and all.

Midgetm Tue 09-Oct-12 07:21:31

Couldn't sleep at all. Letting light into my womb did not help for once. Excited and anxious for the sweep and the chat with consultant. Shit I'm having a baby! And it has to choose an exit. Holy crap I'm not grown up enough for this business. Why didn't any of you warn me? Report back in later.....

Hpbp Tue 09-Oct-12 08:10:09

Midget, don't panic, yes it will be hard sometimes, but it brings so much joy the rest of the times.... You will be absolutely fine. I will be here to kick you or pick you up smile as everybody else. Xxxx

knottyhair Tue 09-Oct-12 08:19:12

Midget, we're all here for you. You'll be an amazing mum, yes, it will be difficult sometimes, but it's the most wonderful thing in the world smile. Hope the sweep does its job!

Exexe Tue 09-Oct-12 09:20:56

Midget Good luck! You'll be fine. Its only a few hrs out of your life and although its frightening, childbirth is well, childbirth. You'll have your beautiful baby soon. We're all here for you.

ValiumQueen Tue 09-Oct-12 09:27:20

midget you will be a truly wonderful mummy. You have waited so long and been through so much to get this baby. It is the beginning of the best bit of your life! It will be a challenge, yes, but things that are worth doing usually are. When you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, you will feel the most powerful love ever. You will know that this tiny little bundle of burps and farts and sniffs and vomit and poo is the reason you were out on this earth. You would die for it. You would kill for it. When a baby is born, a new mummy is born too, and you learn and grow together. Nobody will be more important to that child than you, nobody will know it better. When it is ill, or hurt, or just tired, it will want you, as you are it's comfort. It's safe place. Your arms is where it will want to be. Until it is a teenager and it will be a little shit and hate you and blame you for everything.

Remember approaching the birth, the most important thing is baby and you are safe. If interventions are required, try to embrace them, not resent them, or blame yourself for them. Been there, done that. Birth is a tiny bit in the whole parenting thing. You have been. A wonderful mummy for 9 months already. Baby knows your voice and smell already. Enjoy thanks

somewherebecomingrain Tue 09-Oct-12 09:44:27

midget good luck! all good advice. birth is a tiny flash in the pan really - you can try to get to grips with the graphs drawn by the heart rate monitor but beyond that you're in the hands of the NHS who in my experience are incredible. go with it - enjoy the gas and air and the volterol and pethidine if you get any!

get your OH to bring you some nice snacks after cause hosp food is a bit rubbish.


Hpbp Tue 09-Oct-12 10:00:46

ValiumQueen, you brought tears to my eyes. You are so true. I can feel the experienced mum in you. Wise, loving and wonderful mum, you sound to me.
Your turn is coming soon too. Enjoy the last days of pg. lots of hugs from

Midgetm Tue 09-Oct-12 12:19:41

Well I have been swept. And I looked at this thread on the phone in the hospital and nearly burst into tears with all your wise and kind words. I am 3cm's and favorable hmm. Consultant has a feeling I will be going into labour of my own accord and quite soon. I am now really sore in the tummy and back. Going to go for a walk and wiggle my hips. Have another booked in for Friday and then she thinks I could be induced with a simple pop of the waters early next week. She said she could feel my contractions whilst she was doing the sweep blush. Trying not to hold out too much hope that I will start naturally but my instincts tell me it is possible - I have always thought he may come early. Consultant really advising against ELCS - thinks I should give it a go and there is less chance of a repeat of my bloody awful experience of last time. I do trust her so we shall see - the option of Cesarean is always there is birth does not progress - said I do not want the drip....

Thanks for all your support, will keep you updated. You are the greatest. x

knickyknocks Tue 09-Oct-12 12:47:41

midgetm it's sounding very good. I really don't think it sounds like you'll need to go through induction. When I had a sweep I was 2cm dilated and favourable. I went home with period type pains and on waking the next day, I was contracting away. DD was born about 12 hours after that. It won't be long now my love. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things will get going soon. Thinking of you.
VQ what wonderful words - and the bit about a teenager made me laugh. Wise words though, and it too brought a tear to my eye.
somewhere you mentioned a while back that DP didn't want you to do mumsnet much more. All ok with you honey?

Since that little bleeding incident last week I've been doing fine, the sickness has thankfully gone and I enjoyed a banquet of a curry on Friday night. Never let a pregnant hungry woman do the ordering - she'll always ridiculously overorder (but it was delicious - even managed a chapati for mopping up purposes.....) Think I've got an inkling of some mild SPD going on. Had a moderate bout with DD at 30 weeks last time. Being only 17 and a bit weeks, makes me slightly nervous about what awaits, but have seen the GP, who has referred me to the physio to try and nip it in the bud as it were.

Hello to everyone else!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 09-Oct-12 13:46:39

hey knicky i'm alright, the sickness is still there but much much better. good luck with the SPD - it is a bit sobering to rememember we are 4 years older and over 40! my body is feeling it too.

DP regularly complains about me being on the internet chatting to a 'bunch of strangers' when i could be talking to him (er we both work from home and spend all day together?????) it's not a serious thing.

your curry sounds wonderful - there is a particular pleasure in food in pregnancy if sickness is not ruining everything.

midget it's so exciting!!!!! good luck lady! hope it all kicks in soon and you have a VBAC from heaven (but no woz if ends up CS - it's all good).

ValiumQueen Tue 09-Oct-12 13:48:19

Thank you Hp you had me wailing at your kind words grin bloody hormones!

Gosh midget that does sound very promising! Took me a week of sweeps and pessaries to get that far!

I think I would rather divorce my DH than give up MN!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 09-Oct-12 13:51:24

VQ i agree with you about everything - the amazing thing that struck me when i had my ds was how easy it was, in that I was all he needed. All I needed to do was be there. Bit worried about the teenage bit in truth...

ValiumQueen Tue 09-Oct-12 18:50:37

midget I do hope my comments did not come over as patronising. I completely forgot that you already have a young'un. blush

MrsWooster Tue 09-Oct-12 19:18:15

VQ I've already got one too and I'm still crying - sometimes we need reminding! Ta x

scarecrow22 Tue 09-Oct-12 19:44:36

midget sending strong thoughts to you. That's the thing about being a mum, somehow you find reserves of strength, endurance and (well, sometimes) good humour you never dreamed we're possible.

Am away from DD again (third week in row) and now so desperate for her that I've bought a drink so I can sit opposite a woman with a baby in the hotel bar. What is the definition of a stalker? Is it ok if I stalk all babies and toddlers, not just one?!

Midgetm Tue 09-Oct-12 19:45:30

Hell no VQ try just reminded me how true they are.

Well I have back pain, contractions but as I was induced last time hard to know if they are real. Certainly more uncomfortable than a braxton hicks and un bith ny back and stomach. Desperately trying to get organised and haven't even packed my bag properly yet.... If I ignore it, it will go away, right?

Best go pack bag just in case....

ValiumQueen Tue 09-Oct-12 19:48:04

Thank you MrsW

ValiumQueen Tue 09-Oct-12 19:50:36

X-post midget it all sounds promising, so best pack your bag. I do hope your have a lovely birth experience this time. You deserve it smile

eagleray Tue 09-Oct-12 21:41:44

Hello everyone

How exciting Midget - sending you lots of love, luck and big hugs, and please go pack your bag! I really hope the birth goes well - we will all be here cheering you on.

More Ebay wins today - am now proud owner of a lovely rocking chair and some totally impractical baby dresses, and some lovely teeny Scandinavian baby shoes. I have so many babygros now it looks like I am preparing to give birth to a litter, not a single baby. Slightly embarrassed about that one... blush

littleredmonkey Tue 09-Oct-12 22:32:06

Howdo, Mr LRM again, just thought I would find the new thread so LRM could carry on when she gets back. They are both doing well in hospital. LRM is making a fantastic recovery from her c-section, I always knew she was a tough old gal but even this has suprised me. Impressive battle scar to show off.
Dylan is healthy and just started gaining weight. Never thought I would get excited about poo and weight gain but its the hot topic at the moment. Hopefully they should be back home in the next day or two so I best put the vacuum and duster round. Good luck to Midget, LRM will send her regards and hope everything goes to plan. If you dont hear nack from me again, good luck and enjoy your babies, I most certainly am.

eagleray Tue 09-Oct-12 22:39:02

ooh - a LRM update! So glad things are going well, and that Dylan is getting bigger and scar is healing. LRM is made of tough stuff - best get going with that hoover as recall she was a bit of a live wire with the housework when she went on mat leave!

FjordMor Tue 09-Oct-12 23:19:40

Crumbs! I've found you all - and just in time (or not?) to say Midget - good luck - thinking of you! Wishing fab birth vibes on you and sending lots of love! I can't say much more right now or catch up as we're in the throes of colic confused. But I'll try to read with one hand on my phone whenever feeding allows... Love to everyone xx

Midgetm Wed 10-Oct-12 04:40:34

Waves at Fjord can't sleep. Contractions less regular so maybe a false start. Not giving up hope though. Bag packed thanks to your gentle nagging coaching. Don't finish work till end of the week and having my hair cut tomorrow, bad timing! Feel very excited and a little sick. Still in denial, whilst cleaning everything within an inch of it's life. Just had a sneaky codrydomol so hope I can get some sleep. Night/morning all. Special squishes to baby Dylan and Fjordbubba.

knickyknocks Wed 10-Oct-12 09:53:33

midget glad to hear the bag is packed. Hmmm...cleaning everything in sight? That's nesting for sure. Come on baby midget, a nice quick delivery with no interventions please for Saturday morning!

lrm thank you so much for the update. Lovely to hear you're all doing well. Aah, this is just the start of many poo conversations over the next few months grin.

somewhere how's your sickness? My SPD is still twinging away, but hoping the physio referral will come through soon. So glad to hear that it was only said in jest about stopping MNetting. My DH just says 'mumsnet again?' when he sees me with my blackberry. Don't think he minds though, he's quite happy to sit there and watch some britcops or frontline police doc on the telly (seems like a bit like a busmans holiday to me, but keeps him happy).

I'm starting to fill out. I have a definite bump now, which means new clothes HAVE to be bought. Quite frankly my pre-pregnancy work clothes are starting to look a bit ridiculous (and a bit obscene0, and I haven't quite got to the stage on not caring and letting my tummy poke out from under my shorter tops. Feel a little aggrieved that I have to spend out on maternity clothes that will only be used for a short time, but hey ho. That reminds me, I'll have to get a different winter coat. I'll be at my biggest between Jan and early March. A trip to primark and one oversized coat for me then. Hope everyone else is doing well.

Exexe Wed 10-Oct-12 10:11:19

Thanks for the update MrLRM. Great to hear baby Dylan is doing well.

Midget its all very exciting! Fingers crossed for you.

Eagleray good shopping. You should be fine with all the babygros. I used to have to change mine as babies about 5 times a day sometimes. They keep pooing and puking and getting clothes dirty.

So, my baby is due in 1 week! I ordered a car seat, moses basket and bedding yesterday! It should arrive today. How's that for last minute shopping? smile

Have a good day everyone.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 10-Oct-12 10:32:23

MrMonkey great update! i guess you won't know i said this. it's so sweet that he is on here. i will tell my DP though.

midget yes am personally relieved that you've packed your bag. Very strange time you're going through which i've never experienced as i never went into labour at all, whatsoever. others are better placed to advise. But good luck and hope it comes soon.

i had no pain during my birth and i've just been reading caitlin moran on how the pain gives you perspective and making you a better, stronger person and wondering if i missed out....

knicky primark is a great idea... i hadn't thought of that. just spent 40 quid on a hennes coat, my boobs are so massive i had to get an extra large and it is like wearing a tank - i look square. Luckily i do have a more flattering, non-maternity, v expensive coat that works even in extreme PG and that's for when i want to look vaguely presentable. The idea with this cheapo hennes one is that its for sitting on damp logs in the park and picking DS out of the mud. But i could have done it even cheaper at primark! do they have an official maternity section?

if you're only starting to fill out now, you're doing well hon! i have been in maternity jeans since week 9. partly i'm fat, yes. partly i have narrow hips so the bump's got nowwhere to go (i tell myself!).


ValiumQueen Wed 10-Oct-12 10:56:36

somewhere no pain at all? Do please explain.

MrMonkey thank you for the update. Recovering from a section is a very strange thing. It is a major op, but a new baby is a reward you do not get with appendicitis or the like. The danger is if her pain is well controlled that she will be tempted to overdo it. She will want to push the pram etc, but really must be encouraged to rest and allow healing. When my pain was controlled I felt I could climb a mountain, but if it gets out of hand or you overdo it, flip it hurts!

Waves to other mummies x and mummies to be x

somewherebecomingrain Wed 10-Oct-12 11:28:29

Hi VQ I never went into labour. 12 days after my due date, booked in to hosp, pessary - nothing. Another pessary - more nothing. sintocinon... eventually a bit of something resembling contractions. but consultant insisted on an immediate epidural as sintocinon creates such sudden and brutal contractions. there was a 20 minute period when i was thinking 'hey, this is really unpleasant, this is actually over the top and above and beyond, seriously no likey ow shit' then got my epidural and happy days, pain-wise, from then on. only carried on trying for a VB for about another two hours cause DS's heart showed distress and i was only dilated by 1cm at my most dilated. Which technically isn't even labour - labour is cervical dilation, not contractions.
Was wheeled across the corridor for an EMCS which although pretty radical and shocking, went very smoothly.

thanks for the opportunity to share my birth story!

agree about taking it slow with LRM. I took ages to get over mine - most people bounce back quicker, but even so. I must admit VQ i never felt i could climb a mountain! i always felt like a complete invalid!

ValiumQueen Wed 10-Oct-12 11:37:08

So you did have 20 mins of significant pain then. The pain from the drip is serious shit as I had it! I also had an epidural as the pain was unbearable and no gaps inbetween to breathe. Your consultant sounds very sensible. FWIW I think you had enough pain and you did not miss out on being a 'better person'. I think if our labours had started naturally, we may well have coped fine with the build up. Our pain was not a natural pain <<shudders at memory>>

ValiumQueen Wed 10-Oct-12 11:40:29

About my recovery, I had severe SPD so getting the 10lb 3 baby out helped a lot and I felt fab! I also had an Elective, which makes a world of difference psychologically. An EMCS is very different as it was not what you wanted, or thought would happen. Mine was exactly what I wanted, and I knew when and where it would happen. I am quite looking forward to my next one in 15 sleeps!!

ValiumQueen Wed 10-Oct-12 11:41:20

I regularly climb mountains too. I think I was a goat in a previously life.

knickyknocks Wed 10-Oct-12 12:24:27

grin at VQ re goat in previous life! That severe SPD must have been hell though, the twinges I'm getting now aren't pleasant and I could do without it deteriorating. Yes, I think it must be nice to know that either way, you have a definite date for baby's arrival. My labour with DD was quick - in fact so quick no time for any help with pain relief, apart from a few toots on the gas and air - this time, I'm worried I'll be faster, and have a premonition about giving birth in the hospital car park. Oh please please don't let that be me....Gosh only 15 sleeps for you? It's starting to come round fast!

somewhere god no me just showing now? Not in the slightest. Have been in mat jeans since week 9. It's just that now there is no denying it, I'm pregnant and no longer fit any of my pre-pregnancy clothes - well not without my tummy starting to poke out from the bottom of the jumpers - attractive grin.
No, I don't think there is a maternity section in primark. My plan was to go there and just get a cheap oversized coat. I did splash out on a few bits from new look maternity though, which has some good basics whilst watching the pennies.
Your labour story sounds frustrating and a long journey - 12 days overdue? You must have been just begging just to get on with it. I really hope it's a different story for your new little one.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 10-Oct-12 12:47:36

oh i see knicky gotcha - it's a proper PG belly, no more pretending you've just got a pot belly. is there anything you can do for SPD? does swimming help?

that's great re your labour - sounds like you have the opposite problem to me!

VQ that's reassuring - i will prob have an ELCS.

it was frustrating - i could reminisce in depth about that - we tried curries, pineapple, walking around shopping cities, ess ee ex. one night i got twinges and then my DP announced he'd invited some friends round and whoosh the twinges disappeared, never to reappear.

i have narrow hips and the consultant did say this could have been part of it. gonna talk to my new consultant in a couple of weeks.

anyway VQ you're up next, is it another ELCS? how are you feeling? are you comfortable?


knottyhair Wed 10-Oct-12 12:52:59

Hi all! Just checking in to say hope things happen soon for you Midget, and lovely to get an update from Mr LRM.
Have been taking Spatone for a few days now and I think I already feel better, unless it's psychosomatic! Had my WC vaccination on Tuesday, bit of a sore arm but otherwise OK. Got MW appt in an hour, will check back in later for any news...

somewherebecomingrain Wed 10-Oct-12 13:56:26

ps eagleray well done on your ebay wins! i have just not got the focus! i missed a really nice isabella oliver top that went for only £10 and only one person bid for it!

knotty i started on the spatone then freaked myself out as had a particularly sick and headachey couple of days. i'm not officially anaemic and am going to wait until i am told i am before i take it. glad you feel better.


knottyhair Wed 10-Oct-12 15:03:33

Somewhere, the MW has just turned her nose up at Spatone and told me the dose is nowhere near high enough hmm. She's given me a prescription for iron tablets as well and suggests I take them on alternate days, so I'll give that a go as well. They're going to retest my iron levels in 3 weeks. Otherwise, all fine, bump measuring bang on and good strong heartbeat smile. Hope everyone is having a nice day, and things are progressing for Midget.

bytheseaside Wed 10-Oct-12 15:05:46

Have been in teeny baby unit for a couple of weeks, now brought baby seaside home! She's so deliciously lovely - feeding very well (hence being allowed to escape) and its amazing to be out of hospital. I feel pretty much back to normal after EMCS, and altho I'm following no lifting rule, I was driving after 9 days thanks to lovely dr.

I had limited internet access in hosp, so just popping back to begin to read your news and say CONGRATULATIONS Fjord and littlered!! Also good luck midget - I guess baby midget might be here by now ...?
Someone mentioned a 40s grads thread a few pages ago - I'm in! Shall we start one? I have no idea how to bring up a baby at my ripe old age, so will really need this smile
Eagleray I was touched by your kind offer to help me with my cot ordering - baby sleeping in makeshift arrangements today, and will message you if I get stuck.
Hi to all xxx

knottyhair Wed 10-Oct-12 15:12:20

Hi bytheseaside, so glad to hear everything's OK. Lots of love to you and your gorgeous DD xx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 10-Oct-12 15:48:31

great seaside so lovely to hear it xxxx inspiring to hear of someone feeling back to normal 9 days after delivery smile

scarecrow22 Wed 10-Oct-12 16:23:27

envy at all these narrow hip wink. My mum used to "console" me I had " good child- bearing hips"...which didn't quite win over this teenager! <memo to self when DD starts up about such things>

More importantly anybody with SPD please please take it very seriously. My sister didn't and is still recovering four years later. Hers was acute and there are complications, and she is a rare case. But please get help and take good advice about resing or whatever. Lecture over.

ValiumQueen Wed 10-Oct-12 16:23:50

Welcome home baby seaside x

eagleray Wed 10-Oct-12 18:08:16

Lovely to hear from you Seaside - so glad all is going well and you have made a good recovery. The 'makeshift sleeping arrangements' brings to mind a drawer - I'm sure it isn't really, although a colleague of mine recently confessed to keeping her baby in one!

For those of you discussing maternity clothes, Primark definitely don't have a maternity section - I asked them on one of my futile shopping trips to get clothes. When I was on holiday, I spent a bit of time on the web researching/ordering clothes as was growing out everything. Ended up ordering stuff from ASOS and was very, very impressed with it, esp as it was pretty cheap and am terribly terribly fussy about fabrics! I have got a black stretchy maxi skirt, with a black vest top, and worn together they look like a dress really. Over the top, I have a normal Great Plains cocoon cardi in a neutral colour, then just accessorise with various shoes and jewellery. Thought it was worth mentioning the details as have to look reasonably smart for work, and this ensemble is really comfy AND I have had tons of compliments this week! I am hoping I have successfully managed to cover up my fat-lady bits whilst showing off bump in a reasonably flattering way.

Regarding coats, I wasn't going to bother, but spotted a wool camel maternity coat in New Look reduced to a tenner, so grabbed it! I have had a quick look on Ebay and there's quite a few listed on there like mine (they are a bit swing/military, with a large rounded collar). Figured it may do for after the baby is born too, esp if she is in a sling.

Hoping Midget is doing ok...

Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 19:31:35

Seaside, very happy that you are home with little Seaside and welldone for recovering so quickly.
I will start the 40+ grads thread, I need to keep on talking to all of you, for my sanity ! Hope lots will join. Need advices too.

Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 20:01:59

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a new thread called Fantastic 40+ Mums under Topics, Being a parent, Parenting. Really hope you will join the discussions and share your experience.

Midgetm Wed 10-Oct-12 21:18:20

Just wanted to let you all know things slowed down with the mischievous midget but after a couple of whopping contractions had a possible fluid leak so now strapped to a CTG machine. Hope they let me home as rather see these contractions out at home. May do a runner! Drove myself here and got told off by the midwife. Seems midget mischief runs in the family.

FjordMor Wed 10-Oct-12 22:44:55

midget - thinking of you and hoping things are moving in the right direction. So little time to post and going to try to get some shut eye tonight after several 24 hour periods with little more than 1.5 hours shock. Massive feeding problems this end - thought it was colic but seems it may be problems with my milk supply/baby's latch. Too exhausted to explain now, or tell my birth story - but if tomorrow is a better day, perhaps I will be back to do those two things.

Thinking of LRM too as I'm also recovering from c-section. It makes everything else much harder and more exhausting. We're struggling to cope even though DP is on paternity leave (which I'm hoping he'll extend). Can't wait to hear more baby news and hope everyone else is doing ok...wish I had more time to read all of your news. Sending lots of love though xx

Hpbp Thu 11-Oct-12 06:53:52

Midget, have things moved on a bit ? Hope that you are not in pain. Thinking of you.
Fjord, get some help for baby to latch on properly, the position might be ifferent when there was C Section so I am clueless but if you want to keep on BF, get someone to help yu now ! Hope you will get some rest too. Kisses to baby Fjord
Mr LRM thanks for the update, hugs to LRM and baby Dylan, hope all goes well

somewherebecomingrain Thu 11-Oct-12 10:48:18

morning all. I watched prometheus last night. if you've seen it you'll know why i mention it. if not, prob better i don't explain!

midget hope it's moving along - i have experience of the long wait, but not with as much going on as you are going through. you do have a streak of mischeivousness i've noticed that - maybe baby midget will pop out really easily and go 'fooled ya! i was always gonna do that!'

feeling greeeeeeeeaaaaat today - i have seriously been doubting myself as a person over the past 3 months - i have been quite down, lying on my bed at every opportunity, face like a slapped arse morning noon and night, seeing the worst in everything, anxious, fretting, argumentative, snappy, shouting at my dear son.

today is the second day in a row i've not been sick/tired/headachey in various combinations and i actually feel like a worthwhile human being. i was wondering if it was mental and who knows maybe it was but maybe the absence of first trimester vileness is enough to help me turn over a new leaf.

i've just tidied up the whole house, made a meal plan for the week, and yesterday i did loads of work without worrying that it was perfect and did various critical pieces of admin i've been putting off. i am supporting my husband and although my ds has been parked in front of the telly for about 2 hours while i do this, i've got big, brain expanding plans for him - and i did get him to eat apple WITH the skin today which has made me very happy and feel like i'm doing some proper parenting.

sorry for rant but this is a sort of moment of clarity for me.


Exexe Thu 11-Oct-12 12:06:54

Bytheseaside lovely to hear your gorgeous dd is where she should be - at home with her loving mama smile She wont care where shes sleeping as long as its near you. Glad to hear you're recovering well.

Fjord hope things are going well.
I'm really dreading the recovery period myself. I'm trying to organise syuff to help us cope better and dh will take time off but with 2 children at school, it's going to be a tough ride initially I think.

Midget How are things?

Somewhere Well you're very upbeat and cheerful today! smile I'm glad you're feeling great and things are looking good.
I need some of what you have.
I need to do so much clearing up and sorting out over the next few days plus some more cooking and freezing.

Hope you all have a good day.

ValiumQueen Thu 11-Oct-12 12:31:16

Nothing wrong with sleeping in a drawer. Took one camping with DD2 and she was the cosiest of the lot (at 7 weeks)

It seems baby Valium may be trying to break out. Had what appears to be a bloody show this morning, accompanied by some interesting pains. Seeing MW anyway today. Section booked for 2 weeks today. I am 37 weeks, so if he does arrive early I am confident he will be fine.

I will keep you posted x

bytheseaside Thu 11-Oct-12 12:49:43

fjord i agree make a fuss and get someone to help you with the feeding thing - it can really help turn things round very quickly without having to give up bf - they are not exactly fun, but theres always the breastpump to get things going - really worked for my whilst baby seaside too teeny to suck much! xx

ps not a drawer, although i did seriously consider it, if only i could have come up with a drawer-shaped mattress! just carrycot, which baby doesn't like at all ...

eagleray Thu 11-Oct-12 13:24:12

Now there's a business opportunity - drawer-shaped mattresses!

I have drawers built into my bed frame but they are a bit stiff to open - and where would I store my shoe collection if there was a baby in there?

VQ good luck re mw visit - wonder if this is it?!

ValiumQueen Thu 11-Oct-12 13:40:22

MW thinks early labour, but equally boy may decide to settle down and wait two weeks. I need to go in if waters break, or if contractions are 30 mins or less apart, and they would just section me when a theatre became available. Happy with that.

riversidelibrary Thu 11-Oct-12 13:49:50

valiumqueen fingers crossed for you, hope it goes smoothly.

midget Hope your little one's safely arrived now.

Has anyone heard from Firstbubba?

I got confused trying to catch up so I decided to update our list ...

10000Fireflies, baby firefly born July?
Hpbp, Anastasia, born August?
bytheseaside, lovely little girl, 25th/26th September name TBC
Littleredmonkey 43, DC1 Dylan, EMCS 4th October
Fjordmor 41, DC1, girl born 3/10 by CS

Firstbubba 43, DC1 due 2/10?
Midget 41, DC2 Due for sweep 9/10 or ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DC1, due 20/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Boy
Knottyhair 44, DC2 due for ELCS around 17/12 Girl (Rosa)
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 27/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06

My apologies if I've made a mistake, just let me know. Sorry for not including you KRM281 but I don't know any of your details, as I only joined recently.

AFM I'm still, touch wood, having an easy second trimester. My panic is entirely reserved for the wedding in two weeks. Bought shoes, jewellery, hair piece, favours this week and finally organised the flowers and placenames. Can't wait to collapse on honeymoon.

somewhere Glad you're feeling better, I remember when my sickness finally abated in week 18 and my spirits soared!

Hpbp Thu 11-Oct-12 15:57:09

Riverside, wedding and honeymoon and baby ! Waouh ! Only exciting events in the near future. Thanks for the list, I will try to copy and paste to the graduates thread if you don't mind.
VQ hopefully water won't break too soon but I am sure you are ready to go. A little brother for your DDs. Are they as excited as you ? How is your DP feeling ?
Somewhere, very glad your MS has left you alone, what a relief, hey !
Exexe, have you managed to rest a bit before the coming event ?
Midget, is no news good news ?
Hello to everyone else.

I finally found kind of a routine with the 2 kids. And now have a little bit of time for myself. Time that I spend in bed, catching up on sleep and rest....
Looking forward to meet you all on the grads thread.

scarecrow22 Thu 11-Oct-12 18:49:43

Somewhere just reminded myself you are only two weeks ahead of me. Soooo excited if MS has worn off. Even half way. Am feeling sick every second of every day, work sucks, have missed DD like crazy-o (she woke in cot this morn and asked for her child minder :/ ), and could lie in the street at any moment and happily fall asleep. So am focussing on two weeks now (sort of) Hurrah! Glad for you too - have much sympathy.
Valium send news of progress. Sounds v promising. Like another poster I never went into labour for DD so have no idea really, but some bits of pre-natal stuck!
Talking of which, does anybody know how difficult/easy it is to argue for an ELCS if you had a CS first time?
Lovely hearing about babies. Do come back with the odd bit of news, you grads smile

Midgetm Thu 11-Oct-12 20:50:46

Very quick post - all movement stopped for me, sweep again tomorrow.... Will catch up better later. Good luck VQ.

MrsWooster Thu 11-Oct-12 21:15:45

Fjord I am sorry it sounds like you're having a bad time. Feeding is the hardest thing... If it is supply, then either see HPBPs advice (on previous thread) or try your doctor - I know it doesn't sound like the natural ideal but I FINALLY, after months of struggle, got a drug from the doc which increased supply (Domperidone, which is a travel sickness drug but increases lactation) and this really turned things round and (in supply terms, anyway...) and it became much much much easier. Whatevern happens, no one way is The Only Way and if ff will allow you and babyFjord and DP to enjoy this precious time then wheel in the formula...

Midgetm Thu 11-Oct-12 22:06:07

I had the same as mrsW made my boobs go like milk filled bazookas

10000Fireflies Thu 11-Oct-12 23:20:40

Hello my lovelies! Couldn't work out why the thread had gone quiet - kept refreshing the page and no updates, so had to investigate as finally, baby asleep and I am awake!! Wow!!!

LRM a mahoosive congrats on the safe arrival of Dylan. And hi and congrats to proud Daddy MrLRM. Well done!! Enjoy!! How does it feel? You should read back on some of your old posts which started this group off.

Also, big congrats to all the other recent grads, HPBP, bytheseaside and Fjord

I haven't been able to read all your latest. Currently at Parents house cat and Dad sitting while Mum on hols. Is a bit of a challenge to say the least. Dad decided not to go on hols at last min as not feeling well.

Baby Firefly now 16 weeks and first tooth has appeared!! Am wondering how long I will be able to BF at this rate!!

Promise I will get that 40+ Mummies thread set up soon - but am away from home for another 10 days or so and it's really diff to get anything for myself done. If anyone else sets one up in the meantime feel free - would really appreciate a PM if you do.

Love to all. FF xx

knottyhair Fri 12-Oct-12 06:23:25

Lovely to hear from you FF, can't believe your little one is 16 weeks already!
Midget, keep us updated if you can (although obviously you have other priorities!). VQ, good luck and lots of love!
Just to stick in my tuppenceworth re: feeding, I managed to BF DS for 7 weeks and it was hell for me, and it got to the point after seeing counsellors etc, that at 2am he was screaming, I wasn't able to get him to latch on and DP got up to go to 24hr supermarket for formula at which point I shouted at him "I have to BF!", and he shouted back "but you're not!" and I burst into tears sad. I finally got him to latch on, it was like hot daggers in my boobs which didn't go away for the whole 45 min feed (the same for every feed). The next morning I gave myself permission to move onto formula. I beat myself up about it for ages afterwards, but he thrived and is a very healthy robust 8 year old. I've decided that this time I will give BF a go but I won't beat myself up if I decide to move to formula, I don't want to ruin those first few weeks. I'll shut up now blush.

Hpbp Fri 12-Oct-12 08:11:29

We should not have any kind of pressure regarding feeding. Breast or Formula or a bit of both, why not as long as it works for Baby and family... The first 2/3 weeks -when milk supply is not there yet- are difficult so why not try formula twice a day given by Dad and express in the meantime so that your body is still stimulated.
For DS1, it took me 8 weeks - by then I had opted for BF during the day and last 2 feeds formula
For Anastasia, I had help on latching at 2 weeks and milk supply was ok by the 3rd week, EBF, but I guess second time is easier

Midget, don't worry, keep us posted
wave to everyone else

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 09:14:55

No pains since 6pm, but have very strong nesting urges, which I have never had before. Will just see how it goes.

In relation to breast feeding a baby with teeth, if they are properly latched the tooth and nipple should not be in contact. If they do nip then take them off immediately or give them a gentle tap on the nose. They will soon learn. DD2 was a rascal for nipping at the end of a feed. Her little nose would scrunch up before she clamped, so if I was paying attention, I could swiftly remove the threatened part. If not, then I yelped. She used to think it was very funny. I did not. She self weaned at about 15 months and I was very sad. She had 4 teeth by that point.

10000Fireflies Fri 12-Oct-12 10:28:38

There is too much pressure to BF esp by NCT devotees. Combination worked v well for us - there simply wasn't enough milk available to feed baby Firefly. At some point though have dropped the formula. Not sure when exactly, but it's just phased out. Guess I'm lazy!!

He is being a bit of a pain this am. I think he's confusing the need to chew for teething with being hungry and has just thrown up a huge load of milk. And I've only just put him in outfit #2 following massive poo-nami!

Thanks for the reassuring comments re teeth and bf, valium. I figured it was possible somehow!

Off to find the 40 mums thread. Thanks for pm hpbp.

Hugs and happy healthy pregnancies and pain-free births to you all.


Exexe Fri 12-Oct-12 13:23:16

I bf both mine for a year. Ds1 because I thought it was the best thing for him and its what I should do. Ds2 I was only going to do it for 6 months then it turned out he had a dairy allergy so it was better to just carry on.
I have never enjoyed it and founf it weird that my body funtioned for someone else IFYKWIM.
This time I want to mix feed from the start.

I had my pre-op appointment today where they ran through what will happen on Wednesday. I have to admit that I'm getting really anxious and emotional about the whole thing. I keep crying at the thought of leaving ds1 and ds2 in the morning and going off to have this major surgery.
A lot of 'what ifs' keep racing around my head and making me worse.

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 13:28:26

I feel for you exexe but you are likely to be home after two or three nights, and they will appreciate you all the more for it. I am finding the thought of leaving two easier than when it was just the one, as they will have each other. How old are they again? Mine are 6 and 2, both girls.

Exexe Fri 12-Oct-12 13:44:55

Thanks VQ.
Mine are 7 and 5. I'm sure they'll be fine and hopefully I can be back home by Friday (if all is well)
Its more that I had a traumatic time with ds2 and was told that both baby and I were actually lucky to be alive by the doctors. This time its obviously a different scenario where the planned c section will be a lot more calmer and they know my history so theres back up stuff going on as well just in case. I was assured that the same complications are very unlikely to occur but I still can't help feeling anxious and emotional about the whole thing.
I'm wondering what madness came over me to try for a 3rd!

(all of you going through this the 1st time, please be assured that what happened to me is n't very common and the nhs are great in emergencies. I don't want to scare anyone smile)

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 14:30:33

exexe the kids will be fine I am sure. They are certainly big enought to express their feelings and be reassured. My first delivery was traumatic, and I had an ELCS for DD2. I found it very healing, as it was so calm and lovely compared. This time will be so very different for you I am sure. Do try to enjoy it if you can. Trust the medics to look after you, and remember you will see your beautiful baby. You and baby will be ok as this is the safest way for you both. Big hugs honey x

knottyhair Fri 12-Oct-12 14:40:49

Just to echo VQ's sentiments Exexe, lots & lots of love and hopefully you'll be home to your family (with your new addition!) nice & quickly. My ELCS isn't until December (hopefully around 17th), so I'm hoping the same, I really don't want to be away from my gorgeous DS (and DP of course!) for Christmas. DS seems all independent and stuff sometimes but he's only 8, very cuddly with me & DP and still really wants us all together for Christmas. Will be thinking of you next week xxx

somewherebecomingrain Fri 12-Oct-12 15:11:28

hi all
hope everything going ok with midget.

fjord breast feeding is totally overated IMHO I did it last time but my DS slept awfully and i dont think they always get enough food to sleep unless you do horrible disciplinary gina ford regimes with them (ie not feeding on demand) whereas formula fills them up better so they sleep better. so i'm going to try to at the very least double track with formula with this one.

the actual benefits of breastfeeding are quite small...

VQ hope you're ok - like you say whatever happens its safe for the baby to come now.


somewherebecomingrain Fri 12-Oct-12 15:12:54

ps hi there scarecrow yes definite shift in my MS and I'm 14 +1. It is coming and going now but i think the end is close so do take inspiration.
i was disappointed that at 12 weeks it was still apalling.


ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 15:17:39

I thought bfing was the best thing ever grin. It is a highly emotive subject, like birth choice. Why do women beat themselves up about it all?

Personally I would rather whip a tit out and shove it in a grizzly gob than put up with 10 mins screaming baby while bottle warms. Plus it is free, and I am tight, plus you do not have to wash up and sterilise, plus I have awesome milk boobs grin.

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 15:20:25

And my girls slept through from 6 and 7 weeks, and I am no Gina Ford. I am shit at pushing out babies, but clearly have gold top milk grin

somewherebecomingrain Fri 12-Oct-12 15:23:24

oh VQ there's that theory shot to pieces! grin

somewherebecomingrain Fri 12-Oct-12 15:24:17

except... that girls do sleep better anyway....
by the way HOW did you get your girls to sleep through? i need to know!

knickyknocks Fri 12-Oct-12 15:45:56

Errrr sorry to say...girls do not sleep better (well my one didn't......) Took up to a year to sleep through. I'm hoping that the rumour is true that you get a bad sleeper, then a good sleeper [covers her ears as she doesn't want to hear any different...] grin

I bottle fed last time but only because the first few days were spent in the special care unit. I'd like to give breast feeding a go, but this time I feel differently about it. I'm NOT going to give myself a guilt trip for not doing it (I did this last time, felt dreadful about it all).

scarecrow thanks for the sage advice about SPD - I've already got an appointment with the physio next week. The twinges are only mild to moderate at this stage, but I've heard catching it at an early stage is far better than leaving it to fester.

exexe seems to be that the ladies I've known who've had a CSection seem to leave hospital very quickly. Staying at the most a couple of nights. I really hope that this happens for you too.

I'm OK, can feel baby moving quite a lot now which is lovely. Makes me feel very maternal. As soon as the 20 week scan is out the way in a couple of weeks, I'm going to broach the subject of the new baby with DD. Then I'll be able to say if she's going to have a baby brother or sister.

Busy weekend ahead, 3rd birthday party tomorrow and hubby working all weekend so I'm single parenting. I guess at least it means I get to the bed to myself (which admittedly I love!) xx

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 16:03:17

No idea. I demand feed, but wake them regularly through the day to feed them. At least every 3 hours initially. I am not having the little rascals sleep all day and feed all night. I have big babies, which possibly helps. I also put them in their own room fairly early (bad mother) so do not stir at every snuffle. They need to be properly awake for me to get up and offer boob.

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 16:04:08

I also swear by a 11pm dream feed. (I may have read Gina Ford at some point. Possibly. )

knottyhair Fri 12-Oct-12 16:30:50

VQ, sounds like you really enjoyed BF! Wish I had. Totally agree about the convenience & cost issues. But I will FF if it feels better for my mental health! I did a "version" of GF with DS and it worked a treat - depends on your personality and lifestyle I guess, I'm definitely someone who likes a routine! But I'm open minded, and I'm aware from friends and other family members that not every baby is the same! So I'll probably attempt a GF type routine and just see what happens.

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 16:52:16

I think a lot of it was because of my first birth being traumatic and feeling such a failure. I was going to succeed at breast feeding even if it killed me. That is how I felt at the time. I remember DH and the midwife suggesting I give a bottle, and me screaming back at them. I am probably not selling this very well am I grin. Anyway, I was not a 'natural' but once me and DD were left alone, we found our way, and I loved the bonding and closeness. Neither of my girls have had a perfect latch, but we got by. With my first I got so frustrated as every MW had a different idea about what to do, so with the second I refused all input and just learned with my new baby.

For me, there is nothing else more natural in the world, and I view every drop as magic. If my next baby could not feed from the breast I would spend all day every day expressing if that was what was needed. I also see the dreadful time some mums go through with it, like i did, but do not continue and feel very sad and guilty, and wish there was better support out there. And consistently so.

It is also a mothers choice. I am choosing to have a section again, and there are good clinical reasons for this. Many mums in my situation would try for a VBAC, but that is not for me. The same applies to feeding choice.

bytheseaside Fri 12-Oct-12 18:04:56

exexe please don't worry! planning is everything, and your cs is so well planned, its bound to be so much different for you this time. Just wanted to tell you I clearly remember the night my mum was in hospital having my brother and sister when i was 7 - I don't remember anxiety or missing my mum, although I think she must have been away for a few days and I must have missed her, but I remember being incredibly excited about the new babies and being their big sister. mum wrote me a letter that night about the new babies, and I still remember what she wrote to me.

Ah VQ I think I feel like you do abut bf - the first two weeks of pumping milk in nicu to get poured into her feeding tube were fairly dismal and didn't feel very 'instinctive' or 'natural', so perhaps that's why it's now such a joy- something natural after all the medical cr*p. And as you say, great bazookas!!, and I really couldn't be doing with all that bottle washing and sterilising - that's the part of expressing I am truly hopeless at - just unable to get organised so always running out. What's rubbish is the guilt women feel about their feeding choices, especially as there often isn't a choice, you just have to get your baby fed! hormones + guilt is a terrible combination, and makes you cry all day. I'd been given lots of stuff to read about how significant breast milk is for prem babies, and on the few days I didn't have enough and had to supplement with formula I felt beyond dreadful - so I agree knotty mental health has to be a priority

Hi everyone else - I'm reading your news in early-hours bf time!

Exexe Fri 12-Oct-12 18:13:28

Thank you everyone for the reassuring words. It means a lot smile

somewherebecomingrain Fri 12-Oct-12 19:38:34

Exexe good luck. Are u having elcs? I understand the trauma not had it but people close to me have.
Vq I wouldn't get up for a snuffle it was the screaming at two hourly intervals that used to wake me up. My ds was actually quite a skinny baby that's prob it. I might read gina ford actually ffs if it's gonna get the bugger to sleep better! Thing is I did attempt structure but it just didnt work - I think it depends on the baby. Maybe i did it wrong dunno. my dp insisted in attachment style - instantly meeting every need.
Knicky I hear you! Please god a good sleeper!
I got such movements today at 14 weeks and I look six months I swear. I can feel excess weight gain happening - so far its inly a quarter of a stone but its really picking up - and really need to stop. Sorry for ramble on phone xxx

Hpbp Fri 12-Oct-12 20:25:57

Exexe, every thing has been said about CS and planning, I am sure you are well looked after and will be for birth too. Try not to worry and enjoy these lat days beore baby arrives. Your daughters will be thrilled to see you back home with baby.

BF, ah, so many books I have read. I love the closeness, the eyes of my babies when they look at me while feeding, their expression when they are done, as if they are drunk, I love every minute of it except when my boobs are tender and I can't sleep on the side or on my stomach. Financially speaking, it is no doubt the cheapest solution. And when travelling or going out for a few hours, no need to think about water, formula, quantity, warming, sterilisation... Freedom ! To a certain extent. I do not regret the combined feeding for DS1 though, I was not as mature and confident as I am today, and BF during the day and FF at night worked really well, he is now 12 days from turning 4, strong, adorable, energetic. The bond we create with our children does not depend on BF or FF.

DS1 was, still is, a bad sleeper. At 8 weeks he slept through the night but at 9 weeks he started waking up again, he still does !!! Maybe it was hunger then. Now he needs reassurance because of his baby sister ! Who knows ? Anastasia on the contrary is a good sleeper so far. Touch wood. She has skipped the 10pm feed and slept from 7pm to 2/3am to wake up again at 6/7 am. The last 3 nights she has done 7-7, at 10 weeks. And for the 3rd time, I woke up with massive leaking tender and painful breast ! I was told that when they reach 5.5 kg, babies' stomach is big enough to store enough reserves to sleep through. As far as Anastasia is concerned, she weighed 5.2kg when she was 8 weeks.
As VQ, I feed on demand, every 3 hours or 4 now but the first 6/7 weeks, it was sometimes every 1 and 1/2 hours. I had to fit her in a routine to be able to manage school runs. I followed GF a little bit but I think Tracy Hogg, the baby whisperer, is more my parenting style. Or as Knicky said, a good sleeper follows a bad one. Or girls sleep better than boys. Whichever way, as long as you truly trust a method, your baby will adapt, it has more resilience than us sometimes. And it is a sponge, so if you are secure it will feel secure.

I guess what I am trying to say is trust your instincts, keep your ears open to advice, try the ones you like, forget those that are not right for you and listen to your heart and your baby, you will find a way. If we feel as confident as VQ our babies will sleep through early.

VQ I love the "gold top milk" - as usual, you make me smile, laugh or cry smile

On my side, I am very happy to announce that I am back to my pre pg weight ! But the tummy needs a bit of a work out though... Back in my old jeans, yeah !
I won't be working on my abs yet as the pelvic floor is still weak. But MW said she is impressed how I have taken control over my body and perineum this time. Yeah ! The truth is I have not done much, nothing new nor different between the 2 pg, only age and experience I reckon.

On this cheerful note about age and its advantages, Ladies, good night !

ValiumQueen Fri 12-Oct-12 20:56:02


Midgetm Sat 13-Oct-12 08:15:04

Baby still not been swept out of me.... Send vacating thoughts please lovely ladies grin will catch up later as long as bit in labour x

ValiumQueen Sat 13-Oct-12 08:57:44

It is so frustrating midget hope when it happens it is nice and quick x

Hpbp Sat 13-Oct-12 14:21:23

Baby Midget, come and meet your other baby friends, there are lots in October already waiting for you. Fingers crossed for you Midget. Xxxx

GemmaCatherine Sat 13-Oct-12 23:12:13

Just stumbled across this thread and as I'm a single 41 year old who is 17 weeks pregnant, it seemed the right place for me to me.

Hello all.

Gemma x

Oldandcobwebby Sat 13-Oct-12 23:21:29

As the only dad on this thread, I thought I should post an update. DW (44 and gorgeous!) is going into hospital on Wednesday afternoon. The plan is that they will try induction by pessary, and if nothing happens in 24 hours, then CS. They are keen for her not to go past term, due to her ancient and rusty undercarriage. So this is our last weekend as a couple and by this time on Thursday I will be holding the daughter I have longed for over literally decades.Yikes!

I can't pretend not to be quaking slightly at the enormity of what is going to happen, but I feel so overwhelmingly happy that you could punch me in the face and I'd still be grinning.

DW is starting to feel the strain badly now, and is exhausted. She's also terrified. Who can blame her? But, as we know, these things too shall pass....

Watch this space!

crazyforbaby Sun 14-Oct-12 00:44:09

Hi Oldandcob!
Congrats on your imminent arrival. It is lovely to hear such enthusiasm!
Just don't let any of those silly hospital staff (me being one of them!) make any comments about her age. I am the same age as your wife and as my DH says I am still a spring chicken...I probably won't reach my prime for oooh, another 10 years (anyone would think I had coached him to say thatwink). Baby no. 6 is due in early Jan for us- hurrah!
Enjoy the journey. Your wife is a lucky woman!

knottyhair Sun 14-Oct-12 07:21:48

Welcome Gemma! I'm 44, and have a fantastic 8 year old DS, due with DD by ELCS around 17 December. She wasn't planned but now can't wait to meet her. Oldandcobwebby, will be thinking of you, your DW and your baby DD on Weds smile.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 14-Oct-12 08:07:49

Hi gemma good to meet you - this is the right place - morning sickness, bloating, headaches, hormones, crying at the news, nesting - it's all happening here.

yes hpbp if we directly address baby midget that might help. come on baby midget!

my dp is an entrepreneur and we are going through purgatory as he tries to fundraise for his company. there has been enough of a positive response - people seem to really rate his business plan - that we can't go 'ok this was a mistake lets go and do something else'. He's got to see it through. But hardly any money has actually been invested. i'm actually a key part of the business doing various key functions, my freelance work has dried up during my morning sickness and so i'm barely earning. it's like walking out into a ravine and hoping someone will put the bridge under our feet as we go.

I am stressed. On the bright side it's not new stress, his business is very exciting, he's happy doing it. But by god it's tough.


Midgetm Sun 14-Oct-12 11:43:50

gemma welcome, this is a good place to be.

oldandcobwebby we could be having babies around the same time at this rate. Such a lovely post.

Thanks for the direct talk to the baby midget - he is still being stubborn. Regular Contractions all night again. Stopped once more. Bit of fresh blood this morning but not a show. Contractions much less regular now. Offered another sweep tomorrow before break waters on Tuesday. Don't know if I can handle anymore sleepless nights and false alarms, may better saving my energy for labour. Either way he should be in my arms by wednesday so excited and scared in equal measure. Sorry on phone so not proper catch up x

GemmaCatherine Sun 14-Oct-12 11:53:40

Hi somewherebecomingrain and knottyhair, it's great to meet you. One thing, this is my first so I have no idea what all these acronyms mean smile Is there a glossary anywhere?

I'm due on 14 March and won't know the gender until my next scan on 29th October, can't wait. It was all a huge surprise and I'm not with the father, but I made the decision to do this alone (he may decide to get involved once the little one is born, but I'm planning for that not to happen and then if he does get on board, it's a bonus). I'm utterly thrilled that I'm going to become a mum after years of not knowing if I wanted to or not, but I'm scared about how I'm going to make it work once the baby's born as I'll have to go back to work pretty soon after (I don't qualify for maternity pay). Thankfully I have a well paid job, but having to leave the baby is a horrible thought. Does anyone have any experience of that? My other question is around the birth. I would like to have an elective c section but the midwife is steering me along the natural birth route. Does anyone have any advice in this area?

So far, I've avoided morning sickness and the other usual symptoms (aside from tiredness) so I feel pretty lucky.

somewherebecomingrain I used to run my own business, it's very tough. You may already have this in hand, but if you need any marketing advice, particularly how to use social media, I'm happy to help.

eagleray Sun 14-Oct-12 12:15:11

Hello and welcome GemmaCatherine - you can find the acronyms here - www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

I sympathise re your work dilemmas - I have a DP but our living arrangements are still kinda separate and my living costs are quite high so will be returning to work probably sooner than I want to (am also self employed so not actually got any guarantee of securing work again). No real experience or advice so far though as still only 26 weeks!

Midget/OldandCobwebby/Exexe - you all seem to be having wednesday babies!!!! Wishing you all lots of love and luck, and hoping babies appear safely and reasonably swiftly on the big day.

HPBP/Exexe - I am currently looking at pushchairs/travel systems and think (although I could be wrong) that one or both of you have considered or bought the Baby Jogger GT? It is the one I think I want to buy, but frustratingly, no shop seems to stock it and am getting sick of looking at pictures of it online.

I have made a mental note of the BF discussions - lots of useful information there. I have medically interesting boobs thanks to pituitary disease and on the day I guess they will either work really well or not at all - let's see.

Hope you all enjoy the rest of the weekend

TheNoodles Sun 14-Oct-12 13:08:09

Quick name update from GemmaCatherine folks, I am now TheNoodles smile

Hello midgetm and eagleray ... thanks for the advice.

Hpbp Sun 14-Oct-12 15:25:25

Just a very quick one, my iPad is running out of battery. Will do proper catch up when it is recharged.

Eagleray, I saw the BJ city mini at John Lewis but not the GT. I am no expert but the only difference between the 2 I guess is the tyres, isn't t ? I will check that and let you know. I might go for the BJ city mini GT as well or the Versa.

bytheseaside Sun 14-Oct-12 17:13:10

Hi all,

eagleray I've ordered a baby jogger versa gt which arrives in a couple of weeks, my sister has the city gt and loves it. let me know if I can help.

come on baby midget!

firstbubba Sun 14-Oct-12 18:36:46

Waves managed to find the new thread first bubba baby born on 2nd october by c sectin after problem induction overactive pessary, epidural came out only checked after 2 hours of contractions every 2 mins

Baby Jamie born 9lb 2.5oz taken to special care the day after with an infection lumber puncture antibotics by cannula in hand/foot mum with infection also
Out of hospital after 10 days And trying to BF after being tube fed. Overwelmed to be home.

eagleray Sun 14-Oct-12 18:51:59

Thanks Seaside/Hpbp for the info - I went to John Lewis to look at the GT but they didn't have one, which was frustrating. The GT apparently has a bunch of improved features such as adjustable handlebar (DP is a foot taller than me!), handlebar-mounted brake and better storage. It's just annoying when you can't see the pushchairs for real and compare them.

I had a look at the carrycot for the GT too, and (based on my previous experience of carrycots being absolute zilch), I found it narrow, heavy and looked like it had the potential to look grubby really quickly. Thought I could use a carrycot for inside the house too, but not sure I would be lugging it up and down all my stairs (live in a stupidly tall house)

In other news, I went to put some socks on earlier and got the most godawful pains across my bump after bending over and ended up lying on the sofa like a dead beetle screaming in pain. I think my sock wearing days are over now!

ValiumQueen Sun 14-Oct-12 19:08:12

Waves to all, but has to talk to firstbubba oh honey, sounds like you have had a really hard time sad glad you are both home now though. No wonder you are feeling a bit overwhelmed to be home. Keep the visitors down, and concentrate on feeding and bonding with your baby. We were all worried about you as we had not heard. Makes sense now x thanks

noodles welcome and congratulations! I am not feeling particularly chatty tonight, but had to answer your questions. Have you looked into childcare and tax credits? You may find you are better off financially being off for a bit longer. Rotten you do not get paid. Are there any other benefits you can claim? And in relation to the section, I would always encourage any mum to try for a vaginal birth with their first. I had a traumatic time, so have had sections since, but you may pop them out like peas, and it is safer to try for a vaginal birth unless there are clear medical reasons to do otherwise. A complication though may be that medics are not too keen to let older mothers go overdue, although it is your body so you can insist on it. Induction does lead to the possibility of more interventions, but I would still recommend you try the natural route. Why are you wanting an ELCS?

bytheseaside Sun 14-Oct-12 19:20:09

hey firstbubba congratulations, and sorry you've had such a rough ride. We were in hospital for two and half weeks - I understand this will have been horrible for you. I agree with VQ, hole up together, do new family stuff and enjoy lovely new baby. come and talk on the grads thread for support

ValiumQueen Sun 14-Oct-12 19:45:58

Have we had a VB on this thread yet? I get confused with who had what. I feel sad for mums who have not had the birth they wanted, as I guess it brings back memories for me. I know we have had a fair few sore tummy mummies. I know all that really matters is baby and mum are safe, but I still feel a bit sad. Is that daft? Just the bloody hormones! I feel like shit today sad <<hugs self>>

eagleray Sun 14-Oct-12 20:08:36

Sending love and congratulations to firstbubba - sorry you had such an awful time - am so glad you have baby Jamie home at last.

VQ - sorry you are feeling sad (sends hugs). I was wondering if anyone had had a VB as was getting a bit worried that EMCS would end up being my only option and can see there were a couple of VBs on the very first 40+ thread.

You are right - the only thing that matters is the safety of mother and baby, but I have gone from feeling in the early days that I have a choice to now seeing induction then CS as almost inevitable. I feel really silly even talking to anyone about homebirth now but think I will still join the local group and get information so that at the very least if I didn't have to be induced I could feel comfortable at home up until the point I went into hospital.

I will also speak to the MW when I next see her to see what she thinks - I live in an area where apparently 40 is the new 30 and so she may be able to estimate what the odds are of me having any choices at all!

ValiumQueen Sun 14-Oct-12 20:14:35

With an induction a CS is not and should not be inevitable though. Thank you for the hugs. Just had a good chat with DH which has helped a bit.

eagleray Sun 14-Oct-12 20:51:04

I know it shouldn't be inevitable, but my neighbour kindly shared her birth horror story with me the other day and she said that once they start monitoring you after induction starts they will do a CS at the drop of a hat to cover their backs (her words!)

Anyway, I will resume positive thoughts about the whole thing - prepare for the worst and hope for the best!

Has everything settled down since the show/nesting/pains on Thurs/Fri?

Hpbp Sun 14-Oct-12 20:51:35

Firstbubba, very glad to hear from you and relieved that you and baby are home. Don't feel bad, sad nor guilty about birth, it s over now and the most important thing is that both of you are well. Take it easy and allow yourself some time to establish BF if it is what you want. If not, formula or combined feeding are also solutions to consider. There is a new thread for graduates under Being a parent, Parenting, fantastic 40+ mums, we hope to have you in the post birth discussions !
VQ, I can't remember if FF had a VB but you are right, it seems that 99% of us have gone through CS, why is that ? I mean, some have medical conditions and have to go through ELCS, but we had lots of EMCS too. Is it linked to age ? Or induction ? I was afraid of CS, especially the post surgery pain and must admit I was relieved when told that baby could be smaller than average, deep inside I thought that as long as baby could come out naturally I would be grateful. I did take very seriously the birth preparation courses, trying to fully understand how to push and breathe and the MW I had over 8 sessions was truly brilliant, explaining over and over which positions would help preparing the body for VB. I think that if I had opted to wait for Anastasia to decide, I might not have had a VB without instrument. She was born at 39+2, weighing 3.020 kg, so not so small eventually. God knows how big she would have been if I had not have the sweep and left until 42 weeks...? Her brother was only 300 gr heavier but I had forceps so I was determined this time to get her out without these instruments. And I was lucky everything went smoothly and the birth was quite straight forward.
Noodles, oh yes leaving baby to childcare is horrible, at least for the mum and the first weeks until baby settles in. It is heart breaking. I can still see myself crying when leaving the nursery for DS1 3 years ago. The only advice is make sure you are 300% happy with the childcare provider you choose. If you are confident, baby will feel confident and settle in better. You will feel guilt but we all do. Life work balance is hard to achieve but you will.

VQ, wish you a better day tomorrow.

Eagle, towards the end of my first pg, I had to get DH to put my socks and boots on as it was October. I just could not bend, because I had a belly of the size of a whale, no kidding, I am sure the extra 16 kg I had put on then were located in the tummy only ! Very lucky this time to have a summer baby. smile

Hpbp Sun 14-Oct-12 20:59:27

If you remember, FF advised to take Raspberry leaves and Evening Primrose Oil or Sage to help start labour. I did so only 2 weeks before giving birth. I don't know if it worked but one sweep only and I went into labour in less than 12 hours. I also had osteopathy.
I thought I would just remind that as lots of us fear induction.
Good night.

ValiumQueen Sun 14-Oct-12 21:13:22

Thank you Hp wise words as usual.

midget thinking of you tonight.

I can still put socks on, cut my toe nails etc, so pretty chuffed.

TheNoodles Sun 14-Oct-12 22:22:19

Thanks Hpbp and Valium. Ill have a good look into benefits, but I have a feeling I will have to work. You're right, I need to be 300%+ sure about the childcare, it may be a long search smile

I'm after the ELCS as my mother had two awful births and I guess it's put the fear of god into me. I guess I'll have to see how things are closer to the time, the baby or my health may dictate what needs to happen.

Reading you guys I feel utterly under prepared. But I guess at 17 weeks I still have time

ValiumQueen Mon 15-Oct-12 07:26:03

noodles at 17 weeks, the reality of a baby is a long way away, but once you get to 20 weeks, then viability at 24 weeks, it really speeds up, and before you know it you are feeling twinges and wondering if this is it!!! I personally think childcare is a really good thing for mummy and baby, but ideally not until baby is at least 6 months old, especially if breast fed. Hopefully your child's father will be a 'man' about it and support you both financially to some extent. You may also be suprised what help there is benefits wise whe off work and also when you go back, but obviously it depends on your individual circumstances. Try not to worry about everything at once, for example your birth choice and feeding options can afford to wait a while. I would look at my finances first, then start exploring childcare options, and consider whether you may indeed be better off working part time, at least for a while. Can your family help with childcare? What about the dad? Either financially or practically? There is always the CSA. Just because you are not together, he still has responsibilities as a father.

But at the moment, try to enjoy being pregnant, first kick, scans, movements, growing bump etc. you have waited a long time, and ultimately you will not starve or be homeless, even if you do have to change your lifestyle considerably.

ValiumQueen Mon 15-Oct-12 07:27:18

I slept really well, thankfully. Feeling a bit better about things today.

Go midget ! Looking forward to your news x

Hpbp Mon 15-Oct-12 08:07:01

Midget, hope the sweep will entice baby to come and see its new world. Thinking of you. Take care. Hope birth will be as painless as possible.
VQ, glad you had a good night sleep.
Have a wonderful week every one

10000Fireflies Mon 15-Oct-12 13:23:25

Oldandcobwebby - wishing you lots of luck for Wednesday. Hope you enjoyed your last weekend alone together!

Somewhere feeling your pain. DH was made redundant a year before DS arrived, and remained unemployed until 4 months before DS was born. Not quite the same sit as yours, but was tough and diff not to get stressed, but I forced myself not to get dragged down by it – I knew we’d get it sorted somehow or other.

Come on now Baby Midget! Time to meet the world!!Or have you appeared now?

TheNoodles - I have no experience of leaving a young baby, but I think if you find a nanny you like and trust you should be ok. If you plan on BFing and it works, then co-sleeping should give you a good nights sleep. Re ELCS ,the MW will steer you towards the natural route. It’s cheaper!! You need to push (so to speak) for an ELCS!! This is despite the new NICE guidelines which says ELCS should be available to all women. If you are genuinely phobic (hint hint) and also argue that, as you are single, you are more in control and therefore better able to look after your baby after CS, then you might be able to swing it. I was told I could have one if I wanted but never pursued it as fancied water birth. Your Mum’s experiences shouldn’t necessarily be yours though. Or see VQs post for an alternative point of view!! grin Actually, I didn’t have the balls, so to speak, to ask for an ELCS. But, whether it’s childcare, or childbirth, you have plenty of time to get things sorted, and Mumsnet is a brilliant place to read up on bits and pieces as you go. VQ’s right – take the time to enjoy your pregnancy. It is a special time. You might find it helpful to join a thread for those due in March like you – though sometimes they get a little crowded and I felt it wasn’t the right place to discuss things related to my age. One last thing, babies needn’t cost a lot. I have a brilliant charity shop near me – got the Moses basket there for £20, Primark do brilliant basics, and maybe you’ll get lucky with people giving you stuff. And as soon as I stopped working in the City my weekly expenses dropped massively. God, I’m really excited for you!! Can you tell???

VQ -you are right to feel sad for those who do not have the births they planned. It can lead to post-natal depression. Have to say physically I was fine after CS. Barely felt any pain at all. But how are you feeling now? Sorry to hear you’re feeling a bit down.

firstbubba congrats on making it home in the end. Another graduate! Sorry it was such a horrible experience. Hope you are ok and being looked after well? The MWs kept a close eye on me afterwards (prob to stop me complaining!!) – daily visits mainly due to v high BP, but also about just to chat a bit until I’d got whole thing out of my mind. I had failed epidural too – tube out – no real pain relief for three hours! Awful.

Awww, eagle - I did some good upside-down- beetle impressions when I was preggers too. Slip on shoes are the way forward!! BTW, EMCS is not inevitable. Does depend on the hospital though.

Love to all. XXX

riversidelibrary Mon 15-Oct-12 14:10:51

crazyforbaby DC6? Blimey, I'm in awe!

firstbubba Many congratulations on littlebaby thanks, I'm glad you're all safely home now. I hope things go smoothly for you now.

eagleray I was getting pains putting on my socks too. I've now found a new method that works, sitting down with knees two feet apart and resting one ankle on the opposite knee. I figure that'll be possible for the next month or two after which DP will be responsible for my socks!

VQ hugs to you, I'm glad you're feeling better now.

I had a bit of an emotional meltdown on Sunday afternoon and ended up curled up crying on the sofa, fortunately DP found me and hugged me until I was feeling better. I think I'm just trying to do too much at the moment between work, wedding and baby.

Midgetm Mon 15-Oct-12 17:06:09

Baby 1/5 engaged, cervix soft and short, still 2cms. Last chance motel. May make poor DH have sex later if I can face it after 3 sweeps. They want to break my waters tomorrow. Which I am now not sure about but really want this baby out. Anyone had this as a first form if induction? They say i don't need the pessary as so favourable already....Contractions started not log after sweep but died down. Now back ache and huge pressure, like the head could just drop out. Hope it does! Also had a little nap and want to clean te skirting boards. Please let this be it! grin

Hpbp Mon 15-Oct-12 17:51:39

Midget, sounds promising, baby is engaged so the contractions will follow, no doubt. Hey hey, baby will be in your arms very soon !!! I am so excited for you. Will keep my fingers crossed. Come on, baby, it is time to come and say hello.

crazyforbaby Mon 15-Oct-12 18:45:37

Oh Midget, those final few days are such a slog - all your symptoms sound promising...Things Are Going To Progress Quickly For You...I can feel it in my water. grin
Thanks for the kind wishes Riverside (love the name!) - yes, six babies is tough at times, but we have a lot of laughs too. Each pg has been v different. This time i will be having my first CS, so I am reading everything I can from u lovely ladies who hv had CS. I requested one cos I had such a miserable experience with my last vag delivery (first experience of birth in Canada).
My biggest problem at the mo is work related - am here on a visa so hv to work full-time and if you do not want to do manual labour/heavy lifting while pg (I work in healthcare), then it is not just a matter of getting a sick note from a doctor and maybe visiting Occ Health...no, so far I have had meetings with my GP, my Ob/Gyn, someone from HR, a Union Rep, Workplace Health and still the msg isn't getting through...leading to a worsening of my backpain and SPD. Sorry, am feeling a bit homesick for the NHS and midwives at the moment !!! Thankfully am not far off from 29 weeks, so the End Is Nigh!!!smile

ValiumQueen Mon 15-Oct-12 18:47:40

I had pessaries then breaking of waters. Still needed the drip. My cervix was not as favourable as mine though, so hopefully ROM would push it just enough to start it proper. A shag is a good idea if you are up to it.

Still uncomfy, and quite teary at times, but my new nappy came today, so that cheered me up a smidge.

Midgetm Mon 15-Oct-12 18:52:35

VQ feel I should try the shag but feel so bloody site from all the sweeps it may just kill me! I am hoping to avoid the drip at all costs. I may request a CS if we get to that.

loving all your positive messages - I am starting to believe it may not be bad which is pretty amazing considering I know better! You are all lovely.

crazy 6? Bloody hell. That is all grin

Right off to double check bag, check DD has everything sorted and listen to some hypno crap. grin

ValiumQueen Mon 15-Oct-12 19:04:29

midget I am inclined to agree. Have the ROM, but if they say drip, say ELCS. At that point you can say you gave it a bloody good try! I am guessing a shag is preferable to a section or drip, so worth trying to find a bit of enthusiasm. Lots of pillows is my recommendation, let him do the work for a change, and remember all you really need is his fluids. It does not need to be romantic. You do not even need to be awake grin

Hpbp Mon 15-Oct-12 19:34:48

Valium Queen ! You are so funny ! Not even awake, poor guys....

ValiumQueen Mon 15-Oct-12 19:39:17


knottyhair Mon 15-Oct-12 19:49:47

Midget, really hope this is it! Thinking of you although not the shagging part.

Midgetm Mon 15-Oct-12 20:00:37


somewherebecomingrain Mon 15-Oct-12 20:16:01

grin like your style VQ romantic lady!

no seriously i remember trying to get my DP to shag me last time so i know you're being fair and accurate! wierdly one does sort of feel like it oneself, but for the DP it's not gonna be their best shag ever.

midget good luck good luck!

TheNoodles Mon 15-Oct-12 22:50:53

VQ and Fireflies … oh god I really am pregnant, just burst into tears reading your messages smile

You're right, Im worrying without actually finding out all of the options. You do make me feel better about the ELCS, I feel it's right for me so I'm going to try to stand my ground with it. What is co-sleeping btw?

Thanks for being excited for me Firelies … Im really excited myself.

One other thing, I've not actually told the father yet. I wanted to wait until I knew everything was ok, and now I'm really nervous about it. I will definitely tell him as he has a right to know and make a decision to be part of this or not, but I just can't decide whether to tell him now or after the birth.

ValiumQueen Tue 16-Oct-12 07:02:53

noodles I think you should tell him now as it would come as an awful shock if he was told after the birth. It would not be the best start to any potentially supportive parenting role. Only you can make that decision though. I would think the longer you leave telling him, the harder it would be.

Midgetm Tue 16-Oct-12 08:20:06

Noodles I agree with VQ. I'd tell before but leave it at that. Not that it's any of my business though!

Lots of waking, mild contractions, no bloody baby. Packed my bag and off to triage to evict this little midget. Things I hope: 1) I am able to stop them giving me the drip 2) there is a bed for me in the labour ward and they don't keep me hanging around for ages 3) I am home soon with a healthy baby obviously 3 is the only one that really matters.

Feel really emotional. Saying goodbye to DD was awful, had a good cry when she left for school with her little suitcase. And she kept talking about when our dog died - kids say the strangest things eh?.

Anyway, I will post in when I can from the inevitable hanging around getting frustrated element. Here's hoping baby midget is in my arms soon x

Hpbp Tue 16-Oct-12 08:43:57

Good luck Midget

Midgetm Tue 16-Oct-12 08:48:30

Thanks HP smile

ValiumQueen Tue 16-Oct-12 08:54:49

Oh midget poor you saying goodbye to DD! That is the bit I am dreading. But remember you are doing this for her and for your little family. She will survive, and will be so happy to have a sibling who will be her closest friend her whole life. It will take a while for her to realise that though probably.

Be strong. You can and will do this. Eagerly awaiting news x

Midgetm Tue 16-Oct-12 11:00:56

You are right VQ but it was by far the hardest thing. it all changes doesn't it when you have DC's that you treasure so much?

No room in the inn for midget baby Jesus. Labour ward full. So have had swabs, Cannula fitted, finding a ward to look after me until there is a midwife free. Having quite painful contractions though so still hoping that I could do this on my own if they keep me waiting long enough grin. Also thinking I really don't care how he comes out as long as he comes out healthy. X

ValiumQueen Tue 16-Oct-12 11:19:09

That is all that matters midget but it sounds promising. I bet an ELCS is quite appealing now in retrospect! Hope there is soon room for you.

knottyhair Tue 16-Oct-12 11:32:05

Thinking of you Midget. Got a bit teary at your post about saying goodbye to your DD. I think it's just hit me that I won't be with DS for at least a couple of nights sad when I have the ELCS. I've never left him for more than 2 nights in 8.5 years and that was only once, and I didn't like it! It's usually just one night when he has a sleepover or stays at my parents. I know he'll be fine and I guess I'll have other stuff to think about.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 16-Oct-12 12:42:14

good luck midget i still have a theory baby midget will pop out quickly at the last minute! what a wait you're having. your DD is going to get something lovely out of this - and baby midget is going to be lucky to have an older sister - there was a study about how older sisters are really good for you.

i am suddenly having a road to damascus moment after talk about toxoplasmosis on the April thread. I've been eating runny egg yolks every day - it's been a craving, a near-obsession. Now stopping. Also bagged salad - gonna have it, but gonna wash it first. Pleased to see i've not actually been breaking any other rules.

noodle and knicky and cadmum and any other people at a similar stage - what are you doing?

and midget good luck again.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 16-Oct-12 16:17:01

10000Fireflies, baby firefly born July?
Hpbp, Anastasia, born August?
bytheseaside, lovely little girl, 25th/26th September name TBC
Littleredmonkey 43, DC1 Dylan, EMCS 4th October
Fjordmor 41, DC1, girl born 3/10 by CS

Firstbubba 43, DC1 due 2/10?
Midget 41, DC2 Due for sweep 9/10 or ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DC1, due 20/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Boy
Knottyhair 44, DC2 due for ELCS around 17/12 Girl (Rosa)
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
TheNoodles, 41, DC1 14/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 27/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06

FjordMor Tue 16-Oct-12 16:53:16

Midget - thinking of you! Just managed to get on with my phone with my left hand during a brief break in the feeding/tantruming, in which I have to continue to hold DD to keep her asleep. Not sure how I'm going to manage the loo & food soon - guess I'll have to unleash the screaming again. Anyway, fingers crossed for an uneventful delivery for you. I'll check for news whenever DD allows (or when DP's home from work). Hi to everyone else xxsmile

ValiumQueen Tue 16-Oct-12 18:34:23

A little bit of screaming won't hurt fjord it is important you look after yourself too x

Hpbp Tue 16-Oct-12 19:47:08

Echoing VQ, Fjord, remember crying is the only way baby communicates with us at the beginning. I know it is hard to hear the screams, it sounds like they suffer sooooooo much, but they can wait 2 or 3 minutes. DS1 used to wake up screaming as soon as I had shampoo in my hair....
Somewhere, runny eggs could have given you stomach ache, glad they didn't, but not toxo. But defo, wash salad, fruit, hands, avoid touching cat and their poos, hence soil, and rare red meat. I am not immune and it was a bit of a concern during the 2 pg, but apart from the above, I did not follow any specific care. And I did avoid toxo. Still not immune today ! No matter how much rare meat I eat when not pg...

Knotty, midget, I hear you, it is hard to leave the eldest child to give birth. And this was just the beginning AFAIAC. The guilt keeps growing, even more after the arrival of baby. We have to keep in mind that in the long run, our children will be the best support to each other later and it is one of the reasons we wanted more than one child. No doubt it is a hard time for the mum as well as the first child.

Midget, thinking of you.

firstbubba Tue 16-Oct-12 20:41:35

Confirming my graduation on 2/10 boy 9lb 2.5oz Jamie

eagleray Tue 16-Oct-12 21:43:51

Good luck Midget!!

I hope baby Midget is safely in your arms sometime soon x

Midgetm Tue 16-Oct-12 23:51:19

Midge arrived at 7.42 pm, no bastard epidural and surgery after requiring a spinal as retained placenta! Sods fecking law. Update properly soon x

eagleray Wed 17-Oct-12 00:10:06

Massive congratulations Midget!!!! So glad baby M here safe and sound, and hope you are recovering ok (sounds grim). Lots of love xxx

knottyhair Wed 17-Oct-12 06:29:19

Welcome to baby Midget!! So glad you're OK although clearly not a walk in the park! Sending you lots of love xxx
I'm knackered this morning. DP and I went out on our annual Christmas night out (we do this instead of buying presents, and obviously very early this year!). Had a lovely dinner then saw Mark Thomas. Didn't get to bed until gone 11 though (very late for me!), and bastard wind & rain seemed to keep me awake most of the night. Never mind, at least I can have a nap later.
Can't wait to hear your update Midget xx

Hpbp Wed 17-Oct-12 06:32:29

Bravo Midget ! Hope you can now rest a little bit. Congrats. Welcome baby Midget !

ValiumQueen Wed 17-Oct-12 08:11:25

Well done midget. Look forward to hearing all about it. Welcome beautiful baby midget be nice to your mummy now x

knotty did you have turkey and all the trimmings?

knottyhair Wed 17-Oct-12 08:18:07

grin VQ, no, but I did get 2 dinners! Well, 2 halves. DP, who's delicate system can't handle spicy food, for some reason ordered a lamb tagine, and I had sausage & mash. Beads of sweat began to appear on his face after a few mouthfuls, by which time I'd polished off half of mine so I graciously offered to swap. Very nice it was too!

somewherebecomingrain Wed 17-Oct-12 09:05:31

well done midget do you mean surgery, but no epidural or no epidural or surgery? I'm thinking the former.
Congratulations - you've had a really long hard slog!

I'm feeling utterly rubbish today. Moody, slightly sicky, weak to my bones - i can hardly stand up. i think i'ts ultimately physical. i cant' beleive i felt great last week. what is wrong with me? oh yes, i'm pregnant. at least i hope that's it, i hope i've not poisoned myself with egg yolk. people have been assuring me that as long as they've got the lion stamp on them they're ok. anyway never again until baby somewhere arrives.

i have been avoiding cats, soil, uncooked meat, mold-ripened cheese (apart from a baked camembert adventure - whoah that was intense - the cheese equivalent of crack!), pate, alchohol, and pacing my intake of oily fish and tuna, and caffeine. it's just the eggs where i've been naughty.

i have a cup of coffee beside me but can't drink it - too sick making.

sorry for moan.


riversidelibrary Wed 17-Oct-12 09:26:02

Congratulations midgetm wishing you a swift recovery and a big welcome to little midge.

Belated congratulations to firstbubba thanks, lovely to hear from you after so long. Is everything ok?

AFM I managed to work myself into a terrible state last night, as after weeks of regular movement my LO stopped moving yesterday afternoon/night. Thank god he was kicking away this morning, plus my regular antenatal was this morning so I got to hear his heartbeat. Massive relief. Of course due to the excitement I completely forgot to ask about the wc jab.

ValiumQueen Wed 17-Oct-12 09:27:01

I read midgets post as no epidural for the birth, but required surgery with spinal for retained placenta. If so then big big hugs x x big big hugs anyway x

somewhere you are pregnant. That is all. Do not worry about your egg liaison.

I have been increasingly naughty with each pregnancy. I pre-wash salad and avoid cats and soil, but have been having an inch of wine every 2 weeks or so, have caffeine when I want it, eat cheese, occasional pâté, tuna when I fancy it. I have not had any vitamins as they made me sick. I have also had sushi, always smoked so not proper raw stuff, and runny eggs, and mayo. Have not had the chance to have a steak, and usually go for medium. Pregnancy is shitty enough IMO. I am sure if I had multiple losses behind me, I would have been a bit more careful though.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 17-Oct-12 09:42:31

yeah f---ing vitamins i'm sure they make me feel worse!

i've been 100% except for the runny eggs - partly 'egged on' smile by you VQ and a few sips of wine last weekend. If i was on my third like you i'd prob go the whole hog but gonna just rein back a bit after a naughty first trimester. i did eat a very old bit of camembert when i was 6 weeks my god what a beautiful memory.


somewherebecomingrain Wed 17-Oct-12 09:44:27

ps riverside i'm glad you feel better. that stuff is worrying. i'm not quite there yet as when the baby goes quiet i can tell myself i'm not supposed to be feeling it anyway.

can you call your GP about the whooping cough jab?


Hpbp Wed 17-Oct-12 13:53:25

Right after birth, I asked my husband to bring in pate, foie gras, camembert with a good fresh baguette and oysters... A proper feast ! I missed all that sooooooo much. But since, I can't say that I enjoy food as much as before, maybe too much haste while eating, always one kid to look after, if not the big DS then little Anasasia to hold... And EBF. No wonder how I managed to be back at my pre pg weight within 10 weeks ! Not complaining though.

knottyhair Wed 17-Oct-12 15:13:29

Mmmmm pate, runny brie, salty Roquefort........
Somewhere, I've also had the odd runny egg, I think to be honest if they're from a supermarket they're probably fine anyway. I've also had 2 shandies smacks hand and a rare steak.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 17-Oct-12 17:12:30

yes i looked at the lion stamp on the egg website apparently a 2009 survey found salmonella in 1 in 30 of imported eggs but not in ANY of the uk eggs - we have the highest standards in the world - any egg with the lion on it means the chicken has been vaccinated against salmonella and stringent standards of handling have been followed beyond that. So feeling much better about it.

HPBP i thought i'd do that after the birth but somehow it all faded into insignificance. i got really into cakes after the birth and remained horribly fat. only just started losing weight about 5 months ago with a low-carb diet and then bish bash bosh i'm prego so it's all over.

sounds lovely though - i might line that up for myself this time - you have inspired me!

haven't been enjoying food either so much after going back to work. before going back to work cooking was my major form of creativity. now prego some hormonal thing is gripping me. i'm working my way through jamie oliver's 15 minute meals and i heartlily recommend it. they don't take 15 minutes but they are really simple and i've made things i've never made before - tagines, swedish meatballs - that are really edible.

eagleray Wed 17-Oct-12 18:36:19

On the subject of food, is it right that you can't eat chillies while BF? I may be a bit buggered as my two fave recipes (which I tend to cook in vast quantities and freeze) contain masses of chillies. Looks like I may have to go back to the drawing board/recipe book on that one...

I'm vegetarian and so the pate and rare steak misdemeanours don't apply but I am fond of a fried egg roll and just cook it the normal way. A big mug of instant coffee is part of my morning routine (and swear it kept the worst of the nausea away in the early weeks), and just like Valium, I talk about wine in inches! Some people say it's not worth bothering with alcohol for such a small amount, but I really like having a mini glass every now and then (although not sure how pleased my friends are when I grab their glass in the pub and decant a bit for myself)

My major Crime of Banned Things During Pregnancy has been the hydrotherapy pool at a local hotel spa, where I'm a member. GP told me not to use it, but seemed a bit sketchy on the reasons why. It's an outdoor one and just amazing to sit in at night as it is nice and peaceful and dark so no one can see how massive I am and there's a special ledge you can lie and stick the bump out of the water (bit like a boiled egg in a pan of water). It's not too hot and is absolute heaven for aches and pains. When I was there the other night, I was highly amused to find a couple of heavily pregnant women had snuck in there too and we were all floating around like boiled eggs!

Riverside - glad you got reassurance about the baby's movement. I've had a few moments like that myself where I have momentarily got scared. Luckily it's not happened for a while though and today I even managed to get her to 'perform' her kicking for the benefit of watching colleagues (we were having a boring day in the office)

I hope Midget and mini-Midget are doing ok. Also, should we be hearing news about OldAndCobbwebby and Exexe today?

riversidelibrary Wed 17-Oct-12 18:50:36

Thanks somewhere and eagleray feeling much better today and LO has kindly been kicking almost on the hour to reassure me!

Also rang the GP appointments line and asked to be booked in for a whooping cough jab. Going to be a day of needles as the same morning I'm doing a GD test.

Fingers crossed for oldandcobwebby and exexe

ps VQ you inspired me and I had pâté earlier in the week with the most delicious grape chutney, marvellous.

ValiumQueen Wed 17-Oct-12 19:36:51

Sorry riverside for leading you astray. blush

eagle I know it is advised not to have hot baths. Advice is something you either take or leave.

ValiumQueen Wed 17-Oct-12 19:37:24

Grape chutney sounds divine!

ValiumQueen Wed 17-Oct-12 19:55:10

Smoked salmon and small beer tonight. Bad mummy.

eagleray Wed 17-Oct-12 20:10:39

Agreed re advice VQ - have tried to use my common sense over most things (hot baths is a new one on me - the GP thought it was something to do with bubbles or bacteria or something, she never entirely made her mind up)

Anyway it seems to be only only pain relief I get from sitting in an office chair for 8 hours a day - can barely walk when I get out of the chair sometimes sad

Hpbp Wed 17-Oct-12 20:39:32

Eagle, if you can't have chillies if BF, what would Indian, Asian women eat ? No way, you can still have your favourite food smile I love chillies and fish sauce and other ingredients that would make some of you throw up, with or without MS, TBH. Anastasia doesn't seem bothered whatever I eat.
I don't drink because I can't, a lack of some sort of enzyme to break down alcohol ! genetically transmitted, I had 2 hang overs in my whole life (very sad life, some would say !)

ValiumQueen Wed 17-Oct-12 21:02:30

Any food you eat when feeding could potentially disagree with baby, and milk would take on taste of food, so if anything eating a wide variety of foods and flavours has surely got to be a good thing? Their taste buds are very sensitive, so they might possibly reject something, but you would adapt dependent on your child, and if they get plenty in the womb it will come as no suprise as your amniotic fluid will have taste to it, and they gulp that all the time.

scarecrow22 Wed 17-Oct-12 21:27:46

Gemma/Noodles a warm welcome from the second (or third, I forget when MrOldAnd joined) newest member. Be warned they are all a bit crazy wise and funny. also none of us really know what we are doing, we just have a bank of tried and sometimes-failed-sometimes-worked ideas and coping strategies! Ditto to the wise advice on going back to work above. I would only add that I found it helpful to divide up my upset/worries, in particular to separate feelings about leaving DD (upset, very) from leaving her with CMinder (v happy). Hope that makes sense.

first and Midget, huge congrats. Will be glued to updates tomorrow for mr&MrsOldAndCobwebby and exexe . Good luck.

Somewhere so sorry you started feeling grim again. Hopefully it's more transient now. I would say the MS about 10-20pc better though still lingers most of day. I am relieved you mention headaches. I've been starting to worry about my blood pressure as they have been very bad, most days, most of the day. As I do, focus on end in sight. Last time mine wore off ten weeks after kicked in...

Talking of which, had 1st scan and booking appt on Monday. Baby actually week older than thought (I bled a Lot in week 3, so glad I didn't know :/ ). Baby Scarecrow kicked, fidgeted, wriggled and rolled for whole half hour. DD was so placid I didn't realise babies even moved yet! Now bit worried that after placid easygoing DC1 I'm in for a shock ;)

In case any grads check in, fwiw I breast fed because I could.. From my friends' babies who were only bottle and mix fed I would say there is no pattern in behaviour, sleeping (ok bottle fed babies do seem to sleep through earlier, so scrub that), or health. I am definitely in favour of mum/parents being happy and healthy and baby will thrive more on that.

Need to go to bed after first drink (beer, ahhh) for two months!
'night all

scarecrow22 Wed 17-Oct-12 21:29:40

Post scan, new due date for mini-scarecrow is 22/4/13

scarecrow22 Wed 17-Oct-12 21:30:51

Just noticed all thos digits (each set) add up to four.

Clearly time to lie down (get a life) ;)

somewherebecomingrain Thu 18-Oct-12 09:07:20

morning all
scarecrow yes - headaches are a big feature of pg for me despite having no diagnosable problems like GD, PE or low iron.
sometimes paracetomol can't get rid of them and then its game over for a day.
ususally it can though.

my DP had a meeting with my cousin's husband who has routes into investment. Cousins husband said my DP was a credible business person and while he won't 'vouch' for him he will introduce him to some wealthy folk on the basis that he's credible.


i cooked fish tagine from jamie oliver's 15 minute meals. it took me actually an hour but it was a relaxed, unstressful hour where i felt totally in control of this incredibly simple recipe. it came out well. v colourful. i think it may be my favourite cook book ever. i always go for the easiest recipes and this is like a book in which every recipe is at that level.

this thing about chillies is triggering of buried memories! oh the indignities of childbearing and childrearing. eagleray i was about to suggest adding them in at the last minute then realised how completely dumb i'm being.

really sorry about your pain - that really sucks. i laughed at your description of the boiled egg! love it! you've got to laugh or you'd cry eh (maybe not you but i would).

back to food. my DP loves his English food - so boring - i just want harissa, baba ganoush, satay, sumac, sambal, coconut milk, curry leaves, preserved lemons, aubergine, humus, crushed pistachio, teriyaki, mirin, sake, mint and corinader gingergingerginger, not all at once obviously.

having said that sausages and mash and broccoli and mustard is pretty hard to beat.

Mroldandcobwebby and exexe good luck.

fjord hope youre doing ok - there's some colic going on there it sounds like.

midget hope we get an update soon.


riversidelibrary Thu 18-Oct-12 17:38:01

scarecrow I remember being amazed by 12 week scan by how much the LO moved. At one point he seemed to shrug his shoulders, and completely flipped over. Of course back then we didn't know he was a he. Very glad your scan went well.

somewhere I have Jamie's 15 minutes on my Xmas wish list but if you keep on describing the recipes I'm just going to have to buy it for myself early!

AFM no news is good news. My boss popped by the office with her 12 week old son today, which was lovely. So far I've seen him at 2, 6 and 10 weeks, so I'm getting an advance preview of how a new born develops. STILL seems inconceivable that I'm going to be responsible for one of my own in just three months.

eagleray Thu 18-Oct-12 19:29:06

Scarecrow - glad your scan went well. It's such an amazing thing to see the baby for the first time!

I had some nasty headaches in the first few months, although thankfully not too many. It was quite stressful when I realised that I didn't have access to the usual range of painkillers.

The chillies thing came from when I ate out once with a friend who was BF in the restaurant. All I remember is that someone came up to her and told her she couldn't eat whatever it was on her plate if she was BF. I recall it being chillies, garlic or something like and just assumed it was some sort of well-known fact that certain foods had to be avoided! Well, it's great news if they don't as I can carry on eating my staple of dahl and chillis and don't have to bother with the hassle of finding new recipes

I had a moment of horror at work today - was in a team meeting and when I stood up to go, a couple of women (who are related to my project but have never, ever spoken to before) said "oh my god - look at the size of you! You are massive! When are you due? January? Gosh, but you are massive already!!!" And so on. I was really shocked and 'massively' pissed off so just blocked my bump from their view with my paperwork and said "actually, I don't think I'm that big". They looked a bit awkward then, and tried to make pleasant small talk about babies. What was really funny was that the woman who started it is big (about a size 20) and I'm sure if I had said to her "yes, and you are massive too, and you aren't growing a baby!" then I don't think I would still have a job.

I know everyone gets comments like this and it should be easy to just smile pleasantly and ignore, but I really wasn't in the mood for accommodating rudeness today!

Somewhere - I think you just listed all my favourite foods. I must have eaten a ton of coriander these last few months. Even tried growing it, but it really is the most tiresome, miserable plant to grow!

Hpbp Thu 18-Oct-12 19:36:44

Eagleray, these people are stupid, rude and have no education. I don't undersand why people allow themselves to make comments on pg women, do they also comment openly on other people's weight ? No they wouldn't, so they should keep their mouth shut when it is about pg women too. But I guess they are too stupid to do so. Don't get angry. Ignore them. They do not deserve your anger. Save your energy for you and the baby. XX

littleredmonkey Thu 18-Oct-12 19:43:46

Hi ladies
I AM BACK !!! and I bring along Baby Dylan
Wow what a couple of weeks, I have missed you all and my life will never be the same again. My little guy is perfect. The whole birth was a 19 hour experience. It all went so quick, from being induced on the Tuesday and finding contractions slowly starting in the wee hours, waters broke as DP arrived within 5 mins, and then holy crap contractions from hell. Lets just say I had lots of drugs and then the magic epidural. Only bummer is the drugs somewhere along the line made me vomit and boy did I vomit 5 hours of it, Had to have my nightie cut off due to all the tubes coming out of me. So my initial worrys of covering up I lay there naked and did not care less. The midwfie was a star and so comforting. She pumped me twice with anti sick drugs. They took some blood and found I had some type of infection and my temp was a tad high so had some more drugs. Plus I did not swear once which is a miracle for me with my potty mouth. 18 hours in legs up ready to go head down and ready to push the doctor said she needed to check if he was in distress due to an infection I had she checked twice and they decided emergency C section. Oh well as long as he is ok that is the main thing bless.

Dp was a star the whole time, applying a cold fannel to my head getting me water non stop. talking to me telling what was happening holding my hand. We were so nervous with the c section but it was over so fast. When they removed Dylan he said wow look at all the hair. i was amazed to see so much brown hair. Fluffy little fella. Ended up staying in hospital 8 days due to him losing 10%+ body weight then re weighed again and had lost, worked through 4 days of constant feeding bloody exhausted did not know what was happening . The midwifes were brillant and so glad I had the time to learn how to breastfeed, bath and bed the little guy before I came home. We are all all getting to know to each other and I have not taken off my jim jams for over a week ( yes I have changed them !!! Gross ). The lack of sleep is a challenge and to top if off Saturday I had to go to a&e as my section area was leaking blood and oozing everywhere. It has taken 4 days to stop, I have to change dressings all through the night and my knickers. Pouring thorugh. Had to take antibotics which I have transfered to Dylan so he has a runny bum. Tablets nearly completed and last night was amazed with a 3 hour sleep session.

So glad to be back with you all xxx

scarecrow22 Thu 18-Oct-12 19:50:24

On chillies, garlic etc., I am not at all aware of any threat to baby's health. I think it is just that a lot of babies get wind and other tummy trouble if they are BF and mummy has eaten rich/spicy food. It must be a bit of a shock. My DD had worst night after I had some relatively mild falafals. She was only couple of weeks old but it put me off Thai curries (fave) - for my sake (crying, sleepless baby not fun) if not hers! A friend ordered something like chilli prawns to her hospital bed after DC3 and baby was fine (she claims!). If true obviously baby-dependent.

I understand women from countries with spicy food eat much milder spices when BF, but this is third hand so I might be wrong. Certainly I think a lot of spicy cuisine is more subtle in the original than some of our Anglicized versions. Yummy though they are <food craving majorly kicking in>

scarecrow22 Thu 18-Oct-12 19:55:03

Sorry LRM, cross posted. Otherwise I would have said so glad you are back, you sound like you were heroic, and I am glad you have been rewarded with such a perfect little boy. Wow, your joy and daze shines through.
Ignore the world and in a couple of weeks everything will start to seem easier.
Take good care

Hpbp Thu 18-Oct-12 19:57:27

LRM and family, so happy for you that you are now home. The whole thing has been quite traumatic but you sound very well. Hope yor scar won't bother you anymore and leave you in peace to watch baby Dylan hours after hours, maybe crying ang holding DP's hand, asking yourself how and why did you wait so long to have such a beautiful baby ! Welcome home. Welcome back, we missed you too. Waiting to see you join us in the Grads thread as well.

eagleray Thu 18-Oct-12 19:59:57

Awesome to have you back LRM and huge congratulations on the safe arrival of Dylan. Sounds like you have been incredibly brave to cope with all that's happened. I hope everything heals up soon and sending lots of peaceful sleep wishes your way xx

ValiumQueen Thu 18-Oct-12 22:07:10

LRM welcome back and hello Dylan. Gosh. What a time you have both had! I do hope your wound is soon healed. That is very unfair to have that to contend with after everything else. Hope things soon settle, and you all get some rest x missed you x and very proud of our brave little red monkey x

knottyhair Fri 19-Oct-12 06:17:58

Welcome back LRM, and hi to Dylan! Sounds like you've really been through the mill, really hope things improve with your scar and you're enjoying lots of cuddles.

knickyknocks Fri 19-Oct-12 09:08:16

Welcome back LRM and welcome to the world Dylan. Blimey - what a labour story. Sounds like you had a really tough time of it, and that infection post-op sounds just rotten. I hope that you've got plenty of support and help in the next few weeks. Keep those jim-jams on, and enjoy every lovely wonderful second with your beautiful boy.
midgetm I realise it's been a few days and this is far too late but congratulations! thanks Looking forward to hearing from you again.
eagleray, I've had a similar comment recently and I also wanted to retort the same sort of reply (like, yes, and your arse looks big in that skirt....) but just about managed to bite my lip. Have no idea why people think the second you're pregnant it gives them the right to talk about you and your bump. Why don't they see it as rude?? Grrrrrr!
riverside - only 3 months to go? Gosh, it all seems to be flying by. This may be my second child, but I am still absolutely amazed about what my body is seemingly being able to do - and when I look back at my first, it did seem to slot into place when she was born, so please don't worry about being responsible for the little one when born. Cuddles, milk, love, security is all they need and you'll be wonderful.
somewhere loving the sound of that Jamie book. Going to have to buy one. Was going to give it to DH for christmas, but don't think I can contain myself! Lovely to hear you're feeling better and that at last the sickness is lifting.

AFM, that damn SPD is still niggling away. Had my first physio appointment this week, and it seems that practising my pelvic floors will help. So I'm sat at work with a slightly wistful look on my face as I'm applying my pelvic floors. The things we do.....

Midgetm Fri 19-Oct-12 13:51:55

Welcome back LRM we have missed you. Only posting quickly as I am so knackered. First bad night with master midget and I am shagged. I am too old for this business.

Sorry you get infected again LRM - that is a real pisser. I was busy telling everyone I should have had a ELCS but not sure if I really mean that or not let's see how how the 2nd degree tear mends first eh?. Feel very jealous of your epidural and really kicking myself that I didn't have one as soon as they burst my bloody waters. Age does not bring wisdom with me. My milk is coming in and my nipples are cracked - I assumed I would find bf easy as done it all before but bloody hell it is harder than I remember. I also need a rubber ring to sit on to save my poor perineum! Still all worth it with the little sniffly boy laying next to me. So good natured, despite having no name still. Right, must pass out x

ValiumQueen Fri 19-Oct-12 14:17:28

Aww midget I feel for you. Are you slathering your nips with Lanisoh? If not, then do!

I thought my nips would be better second time around, but they were just as sore in the beginning.

One of the girls on my thread was given an epidural before she had her waters broken, and well before the drip was started. She had found the internals too painful and had kicked up a stink, so that is probably why. For some reason that really upset me, and I spoke to DH about it, saying why was that not an option for me? I was not even told how to use the gas and air until the contractions were non stop, and remember being so scared as I could not breathe. He had said I had wanted to do it drug free. Funny how men can remember things do much more clearly.

littleredmonkey Fri 19-Oct-12 14:55:40

thanks for all your warm wishes on my return. Baby Dylan is sleeping 3 hour sessions now which is great as the first week i must admit out of hospital was a shock. He screams when changing and dressing, between 10 -2 screamed and could not get him to relax. He has turned the corner in week 2. It is very overwelming first couple of weeks. Had both sets of parents around to help with cleaning and baby changing duty. Feel more confident now home and getting use to the little guy, shit myself on the car journey home , got so use to pressing my buzzer by my bed in hospital to ask the midwife random questions. Got brillant tutorial in BF and other stuff. Those ladies still due and expecting baby1 quiz those midwifes to death so glad i did.

Hpbp - sorry to be dim where is the grad thread honey?

Midget - Yeh baby midget , so exciting, sorry you had a few issues labour wise feel for ya. I remember my friend texting me and saying she didnt say before but when your waters break brace yourself love the contractions hurt like a bitch, I only had 10 mins to think about it and my waters broke, she was right, it took 4 hours of me sucking on gas and air before the lovely drugs man arrived. All the months of me waking in the night worrying about the birth seems so distant now

Firstbubba - Welcome Jamie, love the name . Doesn't seem 5 mins since we said OMG we are up the duff, now comes the scarey stuff being a responsible adult ahhhh !!

Hpbp Sat 20-Oct-12 07:43:34

Good morning, Ladies
It s going to be a very hectic week end so I'd better start with you !
Midget, how is it today ? Has the pain gone a bit ? Lansinoh cream will save your nipples.
LRM, I remember myself calling the HV as soon as I arrived home with DS1 and then I cried when the cot was delivered, then I kept on crying because DS1 was crying.... I did not know at the time that he was just talking to me in his language, where cry does not necessarily mean pain....DH thought I was a bit crazy, even if he never admitted it !
Thinking about Exexe et Oldandcobbwebby too.
VQ, 6 days to go, hey ! Xxxx
Waves to everyone

Ps, LRM, the thread is under Being a parent, Parenting, Fantastic 40+ Mums, I can't link on the iPhone, sorry

Oldandcobwebby Sat 20-Oct-12 08:22:01

WARNING! Ancient bloke alert....

Ladies, we have a new graduate from this thread. After a pathetically failed induction, ending with a Bishops score of 0, my DW was taken in for a CS at 3.30 on Friday afternoon, and my overwhelmingly scrumptious, mind-bogglingly beautiful, utterly perfect daughter was in my arms at 4.02. She was some random number of Kg, but 8lb in good old avoirdupois. DW and DD are doing really well.

It has been a long, hard and tearful road to get here. It's all been done without medical intervention, too!

I thought I knew what love was all about with my DW, but gazing into my baby's big blue eyes takes it to a whole new level.

Thank you all for your love and support. I hope that all of you will soon experience the joy DW and I can now share together. It will be worth the wait! xxx

TheNoodles Sat 20-Oct-12 11:28:29

Sorry for the delay, crazy week at work ... not helped by all these other worries of course. Thanks for advice re leaving baby and telling father ... you're making a lot of sense ladies.


riversidelibrary Sat 20-Oct-12 11:48:40

Congratulations oldandcobwebby thanks Very happy for you both on your lovely blue eyed DD. You bought a tear to my eye describing her! Do keep in touch and let us all know how you're all doing on the graduate thread under Being a parent, Parenting, Fantastic 40+ Mums.

AFM at six months my previously trustworthy bladder is now struggling with the weight of bump and for the first time I had to get up in the dead of the night to visit the bathroom. Goodbye eight hour slumbers, when will I ever see you again?

knottyhair Sat 20-Oct-12 12:23:41

Another teary eyed reader here Oldandcobwebby. Congratulations to you all, she sounds beautiful xx

Yes riverside, your unbroken sleeps are probably a thing of the past, for a few years at least. I'm nearly 31 wks and managed most nights with just one wee so hopefully you won't be too bad!

Noodles, hope you're OK and work calms down a bit for you soon.

Just got back from taking DS out to brunch - not sure how many more "mummy/son" times we'll fit in before Rosa arrives, what with his busy social calendar. Had a massive bacon sandwich with brown sauce, and quite honestly could easily go another one blush.

ValiumQueen Sat 20-Oct-12 12:40:28

oldandcobwebby there is nothing like it. People tell you this, and you think yeah, right! But there truly is nothing like it! Congratulations! <<sob>>

riverside those days are gone, sadly, but as oldandcobwebby has proven, there are better things ahead!

crazyforbaby Sat 20-Oct-12 13:14:59

Hi All!
Eagleray- Ignore all comments from ignoramuses about your precious Bump-they are just jealous. I hv had my fair share of comments re the same and my generous childbearing hips and I am learning to toss my hair and waddle off with great dignity, thinking 'why don't they just bog off' and then having a little cry in the loo later on blush the other day a male work colleague came over waggling his fingers in a sleazy, letchy way. He said 'you don't mind if I cop a feel of your bump do you? I just love the feeling of Life growing' - to which I replied sweetly 'Only if u don't mind me stabbing you with this pen in my hand'. He jumped back and said there was no need for me to 'act like that', but um, yes there was. grin
Knickyknocks-So sorry to hear abt your SPD - I too am a sufferer. They hv a v v different way of treating it here in Canada. In the UK I was given the support belt, crutches and a few exercises and left to get on with it. Here, the physios HATE crutches and actively stretch out your legs (need to take painkillers then), but the results are amazing. I cannot climb stairs , but my mobility is so much better this time round! They recommend the book 'relieving pelvic pain' by Cecile Rost (I bought it on Amazon) which has all the exercises to do at home.
Midget-well done with persevering with the bf-ing ... Those early days are tough. I always ask a midwife to watch me everytime I put the baby on the boob in the hospital, just to plague em with questions, as every baby is different and I hv had mastitis with two of the lil darlings - aaargh!

LRM- sounds like u r doing great-happy that u still sound so positive! I love the name Dylan-it would've been my no 1 choice if we hv a boy, except my cousin got in there and chose it for her boy first envy

Oldandcobwebby-thank you for making us all stop andgo 'Ahhh'...hope u are keeping a diary abt these early days with your daughter. You have such a lovely way with words, you could get it published. The birth rate is v v low here in Canada, with women refusing to have babies, mainly due to cost/ effect on their careers, so they look at us as if we are crazy for having a big family-but I wouldn't change it for the world! Congrats again x

OK my sleep deprived gabbing has now come to an end. Our poor dog has got something wrong with his paw - I slept downstairs with him last night and we are going to the V-E-T this morning. I won't be able to lift him up on the table as he is a Lab/Rottie cross-> gigantic! I am off work sick, with a work-related injury...trying to make sure they don't try to push me into taking early Mat Leave, when this is a sick issue. Have a good weekend all x

Hpbp Sat 20-Oct-12 15:37:15

Agree with Crazyforbaby regarding Odlandcobwebby's style. It is indeed very beautiful, we can tell you are already in love with your daughter, truly and madly ! Who said French was the language of love ?
Anyway, congrats to your DW, Oldandcobwebby. Enjoy fatherhood and come back to let us know how you are doing.
Riverside, hope you'll get one of those good sleeper babies. But it is very true, unbroken nights are over for a while, but you are not alone. We will all be on MN even in the middle of the night, don't worry.

Running everywhere to get things for a perfect birthday for DS1 next Wed, and preparing Anastasia's christening in 2 weeks time ! Under a shower of rain....

riversidelibrary Sun 21-Oct-12 19:42:08

Hello all, how did your weekends go?

I had a wonderful moment yesterday when I saw my belly move with a proper kick for the first time. Felt like it was the first time I'd seen my little one and I was over the moon for ages. Makes all the little problems pale into insignificance. smile

MrsWooster Sun 21-Oct-12 20:03:12

Congratulations to all the latest babies and mums (and dads). Welcome. If you go off to the Graduates thread, stoke up the tea urn and keep the rubber rings filled with air - we'll be along shortly...

Hpbp Mon 22-Oct-12 08:12:30

Riverside, the kicks are magical moments, aren't they ? I could spend hours waiting for my bump to move ! Enjoy !
MrsWooster, we will keep the tea pot warm for you on the Grads thread

Warm and sunny today in Paris. I feel that life is going through my body again with this lovely Indian Summer and after a lng night sleep !

Have a lovely Monday everyone

somewherebecomingrain Mon 22-Oct-12 12:49:20

Hello all,
been busy for a while - prob just as well since i yack on a touch too much about food.

hello LRM so nice to hear from you! That sounds really gruelling but I love the hair! aren't hairy babies so cute! mine wasn't but i appreciate a good head of hair on a newborn! welcome Dylan.

MrOld you sound like you're going to be a brilliant dad! Congratulations. How is your wife doing?

midget yes the first two weeks are the worst - when they don't know night and day, no concept of sleeping at a night!

eagleray and knicky i really don't mind people saying my bump is big. i just don't care. the bigness of the bump is one thing that is totally unrelated to overall weight - indeed the slimmer you are the bigger it looks. also bumps just are kind of fascinating - they are this strange combination of grotesque and beautiful and they are the physical manifestation of the ultimate mystery and miracle. i feel its natural that people comment. i also like to touch bumps. but that's just me.

having said that, it depends on how people say it. i'm careful never to say anyone's bump looks big (though i don't mind if people say it to me) cause it's a well-known no-no. (i also only touch friend's bumps).

Also crazyforbaby 'cop a feel' is wrong, wrong, wrong. i don't think men should try and feel lady's bumps. i am totally with you on that one. i would mention a rather hard-to-ignore news story currently running but don't think that would make us happy so won't.

yes knicky jamie's 15 minute meals is AMAZING. I hope your SPD is getting better. You are so stoic and uncomplaining as usual!

As for me i had a horrendous week last week. But over the weekend stayed with DP's friends and the wife was so understanding about how horrendous being PG is, having just been there and hated it. She said "i can see on your face you're suffering - I know that look - go and sleep if you need". It was such a relief (DP had briefed me not to go and sleep under any circs as I would offend them - men!) and she cooked three amazing meals for us and her daughter played with my DS and i could just sit there reading magazines, drinking tea and chatting.

Today is the second day in a row with no headach/sickness/exhaustion. I am praying for a third tomorrow.

Drinking more water seems to have helped - to anyone else out there having headaches.

hey mrswooster hows it going? hey there riverside awww kicks!

hpbp warm, sunny autumn day in Paris - just the words alone cheer me up.


knottyhair Mon 22-Oct-12 13:04:33

Hope all the new mums (and dads!) are doing OK. Hpbp, Paris sounds lovely smile. Somewhere, forgive me I can't remember how many weeks you are but I did have headaches quite a lot in first & second trimester - paracetamol did the trick, as did drinking more fluids. Hope you stay sickness free.
DP finished the upstairs of our house at the weekend, so I was able to move into the lovely new bedroom last night (had been our dusty old junk room for ages). Just need to buy new wardrobe & chest of drawers for that room now. My friend is giving us her cot & travel cot after next week (when she moves her toddler daughter into the big bed!), so hopefully the cot can go in what will be Rosa's room together with the changing unit we've got from another friend. She'll be in the Moses basket in with me at the beginning. Have got my flu jab on Weds (really hoping I don't feel rough afterwards, I've never had one before), a trip to visit friends on Sunday, 2 lots of blood tests next week plus a Halloween party for 11 kids and their parents - feel exhausted already! Lots of love to everyone else xx

ValiumQueen Mon 22-Oct-12 15:06:26

Hello all. Still no baby here. Booked for section Thursday but unlikely I can update until Saturday when we hopefully come home.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 22-Oct-12 16:03:33

good luck VQ! i shall miss you but hopefully only briefly! grab a smartphone and let us know what's going on.

you're the last of the october cohort!!! next it's you, knottyhair!

knottyhair Mon 22-Oct-12 16:07:48

Don't scare me somewhere! Have we not got any November people??
Will be thinking of you on Thursday VQ! Won't get my confirmed section date until my next consultant appt on 12th November but it should be around 17th December I think.

riversidelibrary Mon 22-Oct-12 17:51:26

Fingers crossed for a textbook CS on Thursday VQ with an extra fast recovery. I'm still debating whether I'll as for ELCS, plenty of time left me to decide.

knottyhair I think it is you next ...

10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp, 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10

Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Boy
Knottyhair 44, DC2 due for ELCS around 17/12 Girl (Rosa)
Crazyforbaby 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
TheNoodles 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 22/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06

Anybody heard how Exexe is doing? She should have had her ELCS last week. Hopefully she's just too busy with DC3 to update.

AFM my night times get worse, last night included a toliet trip, cramp in both legs and waking up feeling I was suffocating, which was only cured by opening the window and sticking my head out for a minute in the fresh air.

ValiumQueen Mon 22-Oct-12 18:27:18

The reception at the hospital is very poor, but I will try to update. Not sure how I will cope without MN for 48 hours!

eagleray Mon 22-Oct-12 18:50:54

Knotty - you're not the only one who is getting alarmed as the names get shoved up the list!

Urgh - so glad to finally be sat on the sofa after a rubbish day. Baby seems to have morphed into a cannonball and walking around today has been really difficult due to feeling of heaviness/bladder discomfort. I bought her a hammock yesterday and will let her use it if she promises not to cause me any more pain

Belated congratulations to Mr and Mrs Oldandcobwebby - so glad you have a gorgeous baby in your arms at last.

Good luck Valium - fingers crossed for a straightforward delivery and also for a little mobile reception...

scarecrow22 Mon 22-Oct-12 20:13:04

somewhere I feel your pain. I think MS abated a bit, nothing like as persistently every hour of every day, but last night nearly lost it on train felt so ill, and had headache all day. Today been my first headache free day for weeks and only MS 1/4 time I think. Perhaps the end is in sight!! You are my beacon of hope as you 11 days ahead. Also am now 14 weeks and I think last time it wore off at 16 weeks. Keep up the hope and we'll both get to those sunny blooming uplands they promise you!
Also does anybody else get terrible night sweats? I don't suppose there is anything we can do?? They embarrass me, but also wake wet and then chilled three times a night so not heinz tiredness.

You wouldn't believe it but I'm usually quite positive! On that note I had a private scan last week as my Downs risk high (guess we all are) and results were much better so feeling much more positive. I know still a risk, but nice to have a bit or reassurance. We also managed a night out this weekend and last - first for months. Emboldened I've booked another one on Friday for Bond premiere. Rock 'n' roll.

Still so excited about new babies and can't hear Enough about their funny jerky movements and little primeval cries. Am getting quite broody thinking about it!

Good luck VQ, and don't abandon us totally for the new cool gang on the grads thread ;)

Hpbp Mon 22-Oct-12 21:01:05

Scarecrow, I am so envious, wish I could go and check if Daniel Craig is still as good as Sean Connery, my DH birthday is on 2 Nov, every year for the past 4 years we go and watch James Bond but this time it will be difficult, can't see leaving a 13 week old baby and a 4 year old to my 78 yo Mum...

I will have also to see how good the Jamie Oliver book is, I need some ideas to feed the family, i love cooking but find it hard to compose a menu. I am into soups at the moment.

VQ, I keep my fingers crossed for you and will be waiting for your update. Good luck, my friend. Your little man will soon be in your arms and your DDs will be like second mums to him. I bet your DH will be awesome too.

Knotty, glad the house is almost done, don't go mad when shopping for furniture ! Rosa will love to be with you in this new lovely bedroom. My flat in London is waiting for my return too, the cot is ready in my bedroom, a friend will lend me a crib I plan to keep downstairs in the living room to save me from climbing 3 sets of stairs 5 times a day !

Still no news from Exexe. She must be very busy with LO. Hope all is fine on her side.

DS1 turns 4 on Wed, need to make 1 cake for Wed, 2 other for Thursday as his school celebrates only then and 2 other for Sun as siblings are coming to visit, it is also going to be my Mum's birthday. I am running out of cake ideas....

somewherebecomingrain Tue 23-Oct-12 13:11:03

jealous too Scarecrow! i love the horizontal skyfall posters with Daniel Craig and his strategically-placed pistol! My DP says i have free pass to sleep with D Craig if I get the chance.

scarecrow happy to light the way - i'm on my third day in a row without a headache, tiredness or sickness.

unfortunately an annoying friend has annoyed me but trying to forget about it.

saw the consultant today - they can't induce cause of my previous c-section. they can give me sweeps from 38 weeks but if nothing by 40 weeks it's ELCS. i don't know if i should bother trying to give birth naturally - i had sweeps last time and nothing happened. my mum and my sis have always had to be induced (except once when my sis had an infection). i'm just not sure there's any point. so i said just give me an ELCS as early as possible (why wait).

i can change my mind at 34 weeks when i see the consultant again.

hpbb cake ideas - lemon drizzle? brownies? fruit cake? ginger cake? banana and date cake (super easy)?


scarecrow22 Tue 23-Oct-12 20:00:25

So I have a few questions which I don't like to ask in RL. One is: is it okay/normal to feel so little connection with baby, even after scan? I am sure last time I looked at scan pic with welling love almost daily. In fact this time when I think about the baby my brain instantly switches on a little resentment or something that anything might take me away from beloved DD. I know it is normal to feel you can't love next child as much as DC1, only to be proved utterly wrong the moment he/she born. At least I know that intellectually or I believe my friends tell the truth. I just can't help craving ever more of DD instead of new baby. This is not helped (largely caused by?) seeing so so little of her when I work (1.5 hours in morning, dominated by getting ready, tidying, washing, putting her coat on every time she takes it off, wiping shreddies off the floor, explaining why we have a 3-episode Peppa limit...). As you can tell am starting to feel very guilty.
Thank you for "listening" as they say

scarecrow22 Tue 23-Oct-12 20:03:29

PS somewhere Hurrah, hurrah for you feeling better. Have actually had two pretty good days- less headachey, less nauseous, and considering my now wild social life <raised eyebrow> am def less fatigued than last few months. Hope you keep feeling better and better.

Hpbp Tue 23-Oct-12 20:25:13

Scarecrow, I think you are far more clever than I was. I never thought about having less time for DS1 during pg and felt really very badly guilty during the first month once Anastasia was in my arms. But RL does not give choice sometimes, so I had to adjust and change routines. Actually I set up a routine for Anastasia that was completely new to me and she was only 2 months. I cried a lot and still do some evenings. Because I feel torn, not giving enough time for neither of them, or feeling incompetent. Life with 2 kids is a challenge everyday but it will become easier, it has already for me, I am aware that the balance is very fragile and can change quickly but there is hope. Guilt will be part of our life, especially when DC2 shows up. I try to have lots of cuddles with Anastasia when DS1 is at school, when he comes home, apart from the feeding time, I spend my time with him, trying to get quality time in the evening just before he falls asleep. That means Anastasia must be sleeping by 6.45/7 ish, I then have about an hour to read, play, cuddle DS1.
And you will feel your heart filled with even more love than you thought you could have. VQ said once that our love for our kids is limitless. I totally agree, our love will not be divided by two or three, it just multiplies itself by the number of children we have. Don't worry. Enjoy the one to one time you have now with DD, make the most of it, new baby will be with you in the blink of an eye.

Valium Queen, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Sending you huge hugs from my heart.

MrsWooster Tue 23-Oct-12 20:50:33

Hi, Scarecrow, I know what you mean... WHen I think about how I felt about DS when I was pregnant and compare it to now, I could weep with pity for new one. There was worry over scans / DS risk (all ok now, as far as we can tell) which, I think, affected bonding too, but it's really all about the impact on DS when DD gets here. I can't bear the thought of him not being my whole world and already resent work or anything else that takes me away from him. My head totally know that what HPBP and all the other wise birds say but mey heart is trying to catch up... Having said all this, I AM starting to feel closer to the mountain bump: at 17+3 I am starting to think I may be feeling faint moves and I am sure this is helping - instead of worry and morning sickness, there feels like something more positive is happening. I am also going to try a bit of retail to make it more real - a few tiny bits around may, again, accentuate the positives about what's going on. Sorry for the me-rant but my summary would be: stick to it, it looks like it might get better as it goes along... ps my MS was hideous and prolonged but DID finish about 16 weeks, bar the odd overtired/underhydrated day.

MrsWooster Tue 23-Oct-12 20:51:34

PS MS might be better but spelling and grammar are fucked a bit on the blink, so sorry!

eagleray Tue 23-Oct-12 21:08:09

I babysat my friends DDs (aged 2 and 4) last week and it was really touching seeing the relationship between them (DD2 was inconsolable at the idea of mummy having the audacity to have a night out). DD1 said she hated it when her sister was upset and helped me get her back into bed and then we all did a story together. I think they still spend a fair bit of time lamping each other too, and remember DD1 being very sad and grumpy when her younger sibling arrived but generally it's all great!

Anyway, what do I know! It is probably fairly unlikely I will be having a second DC, but can see how I would feel torn if I went through this again.

In other news, I had a MW appt today. Had an interesting discussion with her about birth choices (still have all options open I think) but have been booked in for GTT next week, plus whooping cough and flu jabs.

She also asked if I was generally feeling ok as it turns out there was some protein in my wee - this could explain the cannonball feeling I was whinging about yesterday. Sample has gone off to the labs but may not get results til next week, which is annoying. Definitely need to wee more, so I suspect that something bad is lurking there. Will go back to docs sooner if it gets worse.

Have also booked 4D scan! Was in two minds about whether to go ahead but decided I was doing it for DP to enable him to bond he blames me for most things so pinning this one on him

Midgetm Tue 23-Oct-12 22:09:44

HP I know exactly what you mean about the strain of keeping both children happy - I am finding this so challenging and DD is understandably a bit rocked by the entrance of her brother. She loves him but she already has asked why the baby is more important than her - this broke my heart. I am doing my best to make more time for her but boy is it hard!

Anyway that was a distraction - I just wanted to pop in whilst I had time to say Good luck to VQ I want you to know I am thinking of you and I hope you get the calm birth you deserve.

Eagerlay Hope you don't have anything nasty lurking in your urine - I've had a few dodgy samples that have been totally clear when they have gone to the lab so hope it is the same for you.

I am hoping one of my first trips out with the baby will be to see the Bond film at one of the mother and baby screenings - life in the fast lane.

Right best go as shouldn't be up at this time of night. Still hurts to sit down (bastard piles and tight stitches) - sorry for the TMI. Hope to find time to get on here more often and catch up better. Big waves to you all and hope those still with beans on the inside keep on feeling better. Catch up better soon.

crazyforbaby Wed 24-Oct-12 01:56:34

Hi Scarecrow! I think you are spot on with what you say - and it also seems to be almost a taboo subject around Mums which is a shame. Everytime I have a baby I worry myself into knots that one of the children will resent the attention the new baby is getting and will grow up starved of attention and end up in prison or on the streets. Yes, the first few weeks can be rocky when the new addition arrives, but things settle down and they love having another playmate/sibling to fight with/someone to moan about Mum to - ha ha! wink

scarecrow22 Wed 24-Oct-12 07:37:25

VQ will be thinking of you heaps today. I realise you are an old hand at DC3 but remember to relax, focus on you and baby and delegate the rest of life to everyone else wink (been wanting to use one of those)
Sending brew s, (real) biscuits, and strong happy thoughts...

knottyhair Wed 24-Oct-12 08:43:17

VQ, sorry if I've got it wrong but I thought your section was tomorrow?? If it is today, then good luck my lovely xx
Got my flu jab this morning - bit worried it will make me feel ropey. Has anyone had it this year?

Midgetm Wed 24-Oct-12 08:48:23

Sorry if I caused confusion - VQ is tomorrow but my attendance is random at the moment so wanted to wish all the best whilst I had the chance.

ValiumQueen Wed 24-Oct-12 09:13:55

Happy birthday HpDS I hope it all goes well.

somewhere a section makes sense as it is likely anyway, and you get to see baby sooner!

scarecrow totally normal with no2. With no3 you get soppy again. With no2 i saw the pregnancy as a distraction from my time with DD, and thought I could never love a child as much. I was providing a sibling. I felt awful too. I remember thinking if there were ever a choice between saving me or baby, with first child you would die for them, with the second, you could not leave your first without a mum. But once that little scrap is in your arms, thunderbolt city all over again. Do not feel guilty honey. It just shows what a loving wonderful protective mummy you are. The love you have for your kids is like when a candle lights another, and another. It does not diminish, indeed they burn together brighter than ever x

Section is tomorrow, thursday. Thank you so much for your lovely messages. I am feeling pretty cool about it all. Not looking forward to leaving the girls, but they have each other, and most of the time they love and support each other. Most of the time. I am hoping no3 will just slip in nicely. Shame he will not slip out nicely, but hey ho! My girls are 6 and 2.5 now. DD2 got somewhat neglected at times because I was trying to keep DD1 happy. I soon realised that she could not be kept happy, so gave up trying. It does not hurt the older one to have to wait, it does not hurt the little one to learn to self settle. So long as all three of you have your basic needs met, and there is love, then you will grow as a family. It is all about change. Good change, but little PFBs, and mummies, take a while to adjust. Baby knows nothing else, and only had his cord to play with previously, so anything is good!

I will update when I can, but this I know, he will be big, and born by section. He will be very big. And I will weigh less than I did when I got pregnant grin. He will also be my youngest, of that I have no doubt!

Take care my fellow oldies x it has been a pleasure travelling with you, and your support has meant the world to me thanks

Midgetm Wed 24-Oct-12 09:55:52

VQ you just made me cry. But in a good way grin

Hpbp Wed 24-Oct-12 10:17:35

So sorry, I made the mistake and brought everyone with me, VQ, days are all blurred in my head.... enjoy your Wed and keep us posted when you can. The girls will miss you and vice versa but you will bring home so much joy, a little brother for them to play with ! Very exciting time. xXXX
Made my first 2 cakes this morning, marbre aux 3 chocolats, it is called in France, cake with white, milk and dark chocolates. They smell good, hope they taste good too. Verdict tonight when DS1 comes home.
Waves to every one.

Midgetm Wed 24-Oct-12 11:17:55

I am going to attempt to bake tomorrow hmm for DD's parents coffee morning. 9 days post delivery this may be a stupid thing to think about doing....

somewherebecomingrain Wed 24-Oct-12 11:30:34

hppb ooh marbre au troix chocolats - i see banana and date cake was a rather naive suggestion! you are obv a bit of a master bakeress.

VQ good luck good luck! thinking of you!

scarecrow a headache today but took paracetomol asap and it went away. Consultant said take paracetomol as quick as poss after headache comes on for it to work, and top up with 1 aspirin if still suffering.

i am also feeling strange about two but in a different way - guilty towards DC1. Someone once said they felt like they were 'cheating' on their first child with their second. I feel I am not quite as close to DC1 as before - something has changed. But I want him to know this is HIS sibling just as much as it is MY child. They will actually know each other for longer than i will know them.

I think this is normal.

eagerlay good luck with your protein results. what is a 4-d-scan?


knickyknocks Wed 24-Oct-12 12:34:55

VQ you have the most amazing ability to say such wonderful words. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope that everything goes smoothly and quickly - and that your precious bundle arrives safe and sound. Update us when you can.
somewhere I used to be a shocker with headaches but definitely saw an improvement when I made a concerted effort to drink much more water. I'm crossing my fingers for you that the nip it in the bud paracetamol will continue to do the trick. Nothing more debilitating than a blinding head. Yuck. Just to say think ELCS for you sounds like it could be the right way forward and I'm with you on the why wait thought - though (and I may be slow to catch up on this...) do they not allow ladies over the age of 40 to go overdue under any circumstances?
midgetm ouch ouch ouch! Piles and tight stitches! Poor you. Hope things start to calm down very soon. Fab thought about first trip out with DS. Daniel Craig would be a very pleasant distraction after your body has been through a bit of pummeling with the birth. Maybe some pick and mix too??
scarecrow I'm feeling in a similar way for DD. She's my world and I really hope that her new sibling will bring happiness to her life. I have a difficult relationship with my own brother, so am hoping beyond hope that we've made the right decision to go for number two (that said, my hubby had a wonderful relationship with his sister, but she tragically died 12 years ago, leaving 4 young kids - he still misses her now as they were so close).

I'm fine, ridiculously busy at work. Barely had the time to think baby thoughts. Had two firm kicks yesterday and rather painful too. Coming up to 20 weeks - half way!! Yippee! Scan next Wednesday will tell us whether it's a blue or pink one - still slightly anxious that things will still be looking ok, but I'm sure they are.

Hello to everyone else! xx

zimbomaman Wed 24-Oct-12 16:00:13

Just popping my head in to see how everyone is......so happy to see that so many of you are holding happy healthy babies. Still ttc since the mc over Easter and feeling a little weepy as the 'should have been due date is getting closer'. Big 'bonjour' to those who remember and were so supportive back then.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 24-Oct-12 16:27:01

zimbomaman i never met you but hope you have some peace and get a BFP soon.

have you looked at this thread? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1585805-Fantastic-40-Thread-Part-Eight

the support is incredible.

knicky and VQ yes they don't let ladies over 40 years go beyond 40 weeks. even at 40 weeks i can't have an induction cause i had a c-section last time. all my close female relatives have ended up being induced for every birth. i see very little point in waiting until 40 weeks for an inevitable caesarian - may as well be 39 weeks.

god knicky that is so sad about your partner and his sister. my DP doesn't get on with his sis at all, nor does his mum get on with her bro. but on my side my parents are/were really close to all their siblings (some have passed away) and my sister is my best friend pretty much. Goodness knows which way it'll go for our little ones.

I have made up with my friend, who i shan't call annoying any more, i shall call lovely.

Daniel Craig looked disappointingly shiny in the skyfall premier pics. hasn't his make-up artist heard of Porefessional?

sorry to witter on when i know VQ is at the moment of truth.


Midgetm Wed 24-Oct-12 16:34:27

Zimbo so sorry things are tough right now. Would be due dates can be a hard demon to face. Hang in there though, if I can have a successful outcome Anyone can x

Hpbp Wed 24-Oct-12 18:56:51

Zimbo, bonjour, we have Not forgotten you ! And I am glad to hear from you. Come back anytime. have you moved house in the end ?

zimbomaman Wed 24-Oct-12 19:36:13

Yes, hpbp, we did move house in the end and have been living in builder's dust and rubble for the past two months. The work is never ending which is probably why I'm not feeling 100% either. Will take the time to read up on all your babies - really am glad that you've had those longed for bundles of joy! Will have a look on the other thread. Take care.

scarecrow22 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:52:42

somewhere I hope you said paracetamol-sharametamol to your doctor wink After two good ish days had something close to (or was?) migraine today - had to come home on return train from work, as paracetamol not working took ibuprofen (I know but could almost not open eyes) , slept for three hours, woke up with a headache still, and vision started shaking. Avoided more drugs but still sore head. And DH has asked me what I'm cooking us for supper (he is great, but occasionally they don't quite get it).
I vowed not to come and whine again about symptoms but was even a bit worried by vision thing (it passed).

More importantly I'm smiling that another thing we have in common is that I had failed induction at 40 weeks last time (was already o40) and so presumed I'd have ELCS this time. I also had problem sat time as lost 2l blood (when I thought I had 10 lit felt fine, when DH said only 5 lit felt wobbly!). They have booked me in for VBAC clinic but intend to tell them that as I also don't think will go into labour, and more importantly don't want an EMCS in case we have bleed problem again and might be harder to deal with in an emergency, want an ELCS. Also one less week to work wait.

Will be interested to hear what your consultant says as, again, you'll be just ahead...

<waves> to others, with apologies for Olympic whine. Going to make my fave Thai curry and watch Box set /early night, as am usually still at work now, or on way home at best.

scarecrow22 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:59:21

I should have said a very heart-felt thank you to everyone for kind words about DC2 bonding guilt. I was worried I sounded horrid, but I actually adore children. In fact before I had DD I worried could not love any child as much as my sisters' 5 children. Which was twaddle, of course! Anyway, good to share such feelings. I still would like to bond more, but tell myself it will grow, and also might start yoga classes as last time found rare peaceful time just w "bump" was a good opportunity to be with LO, iykwim. Also in new year will start reading sibling books with DD and imagine her excitement will be infectious as she is potty about mothering her teddies, dolls, bunny rabbit...even the horrible plastic jack in the box!

Hpbp Wed 24-Oct-12 21:06:10

Somewhere, forgot to say that I am NO master bakeress, marbre aux 3 chocolats is very easy, one day, if we meet up, I will bake one for all of us. I am tempted to try a banana cake or date cake, these were your ideas, I never thought about that, so will try !

Exexe Wed 24-Oct-12 21:17:35

Hi everyone.
I'm just on very quickly. I had my lovely dd by elective c section last Wednesday. The birth was fine. I had a fab team.
I'm suffering a bit at the moment though with every pain - headaches, back pains, c section pains. Baby is a jaundiced and not feeding that well. She lost 14% of birth weight and we ended up back in the hospital. Hoping to get the feeding working out as I really want to establish bf.

VQ good luck for tomorrow!

Congratulations to Midget and Hpbp - is that right? I'm sorry, I need to read back and catch up properly soon.

knottyhair Wed 24-Oct-12 21:51:51

Exexe congratulations! Glad the birth went well but sorry you're suffering now, hope the jaundice goes soon and the feeding improves.
VQ, will be thinking of you tomorrow. Let us know any news when you can xx

scarecrow22 Wed 24-Oct-12 23:19:06

hbpb am definitely hands-down winner of baking wooden spoon, but hugely recommend Mary Berry lemon drizzle as possibly most fool-proof and delicious cake ever. You can Google it. Mmmmm. Enjoy them all.

eagleray Wed 24-Oct-12 23:49:27

Somewhere - 3D and 4D scanning (apparently) uses sound waves at various angles which are then processed by a computer program to produce a reconstructed image of the baby, as it would appear in real life. The 4D bit does it in real time, so you can see the multi-dimensional image as the baby is scanned. Am a bit excited about it, but almost feel a bit guilty that I am peering at her in such close detail before she is born!

My hospital has the 'induction at 40 weeks if over 40' policy too - it does vary from one hospital to the next and in my area I think it is advisory rather than compulsory. I had a chat with the MW about this yesterday and I think a lot of it depends on the monitoring of the individual. There is also a fair bit of research going on in my health authority area at the mo regarding the health of older pregnant women.

VQ - sending you lots of luck, love and best wishes for tomorrow - it only seems like yesterday that you had your poor broken foot and have just checked back through the old thread and see that you were 'only' 25 weeks then - where on earth did the time go to?

Midget - wow re the baking, and hope the old roof tiles and stitches heal soon

Zimbomaman - lovely to hear from you - I lurked a bit on the 40+ thread before BFP and do remember you. My original due date was early August (had MC last year) and despite being pregnant again, I still somehow found it a bit hard, so really sympathise re your approaching due date next month. I had lost all hope of getting pregnant again, but we managed it exactly 6 months later - will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Exexe - fabulous news - congratulations!! Sorry to hear baby hasn't been feeding well, and that you have so much pain to contend with - hope you are on the mend soon

HPBP - that's a lovely thought re making cake for everyone. I make a banana cake every now and then and take it to work - they are always popular and I do find a home-made cake is a great way of getting co-operation from even the most difficult colleagues...

I seem to have developed the habits of a tomcat of late - got a real urge to get out and about in the evenings! Tonight I went out for dinner, then on to a gig at a local pub. I have no idea why I am suddenly so sociable, but it was a real shock being amongst crowds of people again. I had a bit of a job trying to navigate through the pub to get to the loo, then got kind of wedged between the loo door and the toilet roll holder and a kind lady had to pull me out. The baby hasn't been exposed to that much music so far as I tend to have radio 4 on in the car when commuting and fear she prefers that to the nice music at the gig tonight.

No news yet re my wee sample - still not entirely sure if there's anything nasty lurking there - just have to keep remembering to drink loads of water, which I am shamefully bad at doing.

Love and best wishes to all - night night

knickyknocks Thu 25-Oct-12 09:42:58

Exexe wonderful news thanks thanks. So sorry to hear you and your gorgeous girl have gone through the ringer a bit since the birth. It will get better, just feels so bloody awful at the time. Will keep my fingers crossed that bf gets established. Hugs to you and the little one.
eagleray loving the fact you're a bit of a tomcat recently! Though did smile at the stuck in the loo story - that's the sort of thing which would happen to me too. Hope the baby enjoyed the gig last night! I'm off to see Madness in a few weeks - thankfully got seated tickets, but am still hoping to be dancing about to baggy trousers at the end of the eve if baby doesn't mind too much! 4D scanning sounds amazing! Full report afterwards please!
scarecrow you poor thing. That migraine sounds horrendous and errr....yes....suspect my partner too just doesn't get it sometimes. He too has made the faux pas of suggesting shopping or something when I had my recent morning sickness - he soon changed his mind when I said that I'd have to take a plastic bag with me in case of urgent vomits..... Yes, I too am planning on getting sibling books etc etc to prepare DD for the arrival of the new one. Hoping she's going to love it - she seems absolutely besotted with babies at the mo.
somewhere as per usual you make me chuckle. Loving the suggestion of porefessional for Mr Craig. No excuse for a shiny face in my opinion. Lots of mattifying bits on the market these days.....grin Glad to hear you've made up with your friend. Tend to think the number of good friends you have by the time you hit your 30's and 40's you could count on one hand, which I always feel a bit sad about. Anyway, glad things are sorted.
VQ thinking of you my love.....

Best get back to work. Still wading through a mountain of work, and didn't win that damned lottery AGAIN last night. Much love xxx

Hpbp Thu 25-Oct-12 10:37:19

Exexe, very happy to hear your good news. Wishing you now a swift recovery for you and baby. Keep us informed take good care.
Eagleray, I smiled at the loo episode too, like knicky. Do you want some more water ? I kind of force myself to drink lots during pg, at work, I had a bottle on my desk and 5 other under the desk, my aim was to drink all 6 of them in a day, it did help with avoiding UTI but not the trips to the loo, I had the feeling I was constantly going to wee.... Now with BF, I am glad I had the habit of drinking, I feel so thirsty, my Mum is amazed by the quantity of water I have in a day, almost 3litres !!! At least, I don't eat too much.
VQ thinking of you.
Scarecrow, have you seen a GP or MW re migraine ? Have some water too. Deshydratation can give headaches too...
Anastasia has runny nose... Of course, with DS1 kissing her all the time ! Hope it will clear itself quickly.
Hugs from sunny Paris

eagleray Thu 25-Oct-12 19:59:42

Hpbp - I am terrible at drinking water - am actually ashamed of how little I drink most days... That is really sweet that Anastasia is getting so much affection heaped on her although hope her runny nose stops soon

Had a horrible start to the day - was feeling a bit absent on my drive in to work yesterday morning and felt a bit alarmed that I couldn't remember much of it, but then didn't really think about it again. Then this morning I was on the motorway first thing and the traffic up ahead slowed suddenly and I'm ashamed to say my responses failed me and I ended up losing control of the car and doing a massive skid, ending up across two lanes shaking and crying at the wheel (with everyone else honking and driving around me). It was the most awful experience and cannot believe how close I came to utter disaster.

Rang the docs to see if they could get the urine test results back asap as was worried my absentness is a sign that something is wrong (it has just been these last couple of days) and thankfully the GP rang back and said all is clear, but he's concerned I may be anaemic, so that has been added to my other tests I'm having next week.

I'm working from home tomorrow and just feel so relieved I won't need to leave the house - feeling shattered now and face is a right mess from snivelling at my desk all day (don't you just love open plan offices)

Knicky - Madness gig sounds great - nice to have seated tickets with the option of dancing if you wish! I am going to look up some more nice things to do re gigs, films etc so I have more things to look forward to.

Hoping there is a VQ resting comfortably somewhere with a mini-VQ in arms....

MrsWooster Thu 25-Oct-12 21:09:56

evening all. ON the sibling books front, we have been recommended 'There's a house inside my mummy' and it has been really good with DS - he's 2.4. We've also got an Usborne one about New Baby and he's really keen on reading both. He's taken to carting his rabbit round wrapped in a blanket and calling it the baby (altho he also refers to himself as a baby (which he is, of course) among his many other alter egos of Postman Pat, Ted Glenn, Bob...et al) I think it has helped him be keen on the idea of the baby and being a big bro which has, in turn, helped me bond a bit and feel marginally less guilt stricken about cheating him...
re the 40 weeks thing, I think it must definitely be a local policy decision, as her in Leeds they didn't induce me until 42weeks and then it took another 2 days until Barnacle Bill finally released his deathgrip on the inside wall of the womb.
Good luck to VQ...

Hpbp Thu 25-Oct-12 22:01:03

Eagleray, poor you, you must have been petrified, get some rest, make sure you get iron tablets if it is what your body need.... I took pregnacare throughout the whole pg and still do because of BF. I have beta Thalassemia but my iron level has always been good, is it because I have a good diet (MW said so, not me) or did the pregnacare tablets help ? I can't answer.
MrsWooster, I bought "there is a house in my mummy" and we all enjoyed it, me, DH and DS. It is short, easy to read and understand with cute drawings, we started reading it to DS when DS was 3 yo 4 months, I was then entering the second trimester.

scarecrow22 Thu 25-Oct-12 22:05:07

Re 40 weeks, with DD I was already 40 and I was told they recommend but do not force you, though they insist in (from memory) daily monitoring after 40w. To my shame I was desperate to get DD out before Christmas (due 19/12) so I opted for induction ASAP. I figured better to have a birthday in days before Christmas than after. Well, it was a reason! And I think she'll thank me for it ;) I got the impression 'recommended but not compulsory' was national standard - at least that they cannot force you anywhere (perhaps unless imminent danger to baby).

scarecrow22 Thu 25-Oct-12 22:08:23

Eagleray your experience sounds truly awful. In fact more I think of it, more foolhardy brave you were to go into work ;). Glad you working from home. Can you do that until you are sorted. Or is there a colleague you can drive with, at least in convoy for security. Remember no job is worth that kind of experience. Please take care of yourself.

eagleray Thu 25-Oct-12 23:06:24

I'm going to get some iron supplements tomorrow - have been a bit slack with the general pregnancy vits these last few weeks. Interestingly, HPBP, it is written on my notes that I am a possible thalassaemia carrier but no one else has mentioned it since it was written!

DP has been abroad this week and lives away during the week anyway so spoken to him on the phone tonight and confessed to the motorway mishap - he was very alarmed but managed to use the word 'stupid' to describe me then said he wanted to spend half of this weekend (a day and a night) visiting his dad! I really don't think he realises a lot of the time how hard it is to hold things together - house, job, commute, etc and he just turns up at the weekend and moans (sorry am grumbling now).

It isn't normally practicable for me to work from home so tomorrow is a bit of a one-off, but is a massive weight off my mind. I put terrible pressure on myself to turn up every day as don't get paid otherwise, and will have no job at all after Christmas. I may be able to work from home a bit more frequently in the coming weeks though if I can get officially set up with the right equipment. On the plus side, I do have very supportive colleagues (even if most of them are men and are a bit limited in terms of the technical bits of pregnancy)

Regarding induction, I have just had a dig around on the web and found the NICE guidelines to induction, which do not mention maternal age at all. Also found this thread from a year ago, which makes for interesting reading - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/a1353115-Quick-unscientific-poll-early-induction-due-to-maternal-age

MrsW - 'Barnacle Bill' and his deathgrip made me laugh!

Midgetm Fri 26-Oct-12 09:00:34

Eagle that sounds terrifying. You take care and don't push yourself too much. Posting from bath lovely image eh? Me all post baby jelly belly so best go before I drop phone in bath. grin

knottyhair Fri 26-Oct-12 12:36:24

Eagle hope you're OK my love. And you're not stupid!

Had a really rough day yesterday, just felt wiped out and generally achy and yuck, so I think it might have been the after effects of the flu jab the day before, as I feel a bit more normal today! Have managed to order all DS's stuff for his stocking and a couple of bigger things, just what this house needs, more Lego! DP is out doing maintenance today (he's a private landlord) so I've had a bit of peace & quiet. Just got to make a chilli for tea, then round to my friend's house after school for her DS's birthday (my DS's best buddy), and DS is sleeping over there tonight. Had a leeeetle nap, some tomato soup & toast and marmite and feel much better smile. Hope everyone else is OK xx

knickyknocks Fri 26-Oct-12 12:59:59

eagle thanks for that link - it makes very interesting reading. I'm Surrey based and induction hasn't been mentioned to me -even as a recommendation yet. I was very lucky with DD as had a sweep on due date last time and promptly gave birth 24 hours later. Am hoping for much the same this time round. PS Grumble away! I sometimes think that DP/DH's just don't have a clue about how tough things can be. My DH works shifts and so I can be left to get on with things for whole weeks/weekends at a time. I don't expect thanks per se, but it would be nice to have a bit of acknowledgement sometimes about how hard things can be juggling life - and ensuring the house and life continues when he's not there.
knotty glad you're feeling better after your rough day. I've got my flu jab booked for a few weeks time and am crossing fingers I don't feel too rough afterwards. Mmmmm...toast and marmite - always a good pick-me-up choice though!

Thank goodness the weekend looms. Would love to say that I'm looking forward to a lie in but think my 3 year old DD will have a different idea. If the weather's good it'll be the park and a train ride somewhere. If the weather's bad it'll be making fairy cakes and maybe indoor soft play. How my life has changed.....!

somewherebecomingrain Fri 26-Oct-12 14:37:58

exexe well done!
VQthinking of you!

hey knotty glad your'e feeling better. it's so bloody draining. agree with knicky the men don't understand. my DP regularly employs the phrase 'swanning around having cups of tea at your sister's' to describe an afternoon spent constantly jumping up and running after three children, carrying bikes to the park, breaking up arguments, getting drink/toast/drink/apple, cleaning up spilt/broken/messy stuff, dealing with poo/pee/sick, dealing with the emotions of three under 5s, etc etc.

eagleray lols re getting stuck in the loo door you're the queen of bump anecdotes!

sorry about the car incident - if you are anaemic that could cause it i bet. Really nerve-wracking. can you avoid driving until you get your anaemia sorted? you definitely need to listen to this. Many pregnant women ask too much of themselves - eg i think for some of us working until 8 months is too much. I used to pass out on the toilet at work in my 7th and 8th month. i even lay on the concrete floor in the toilet and went to sleep blush. I'm not saying everyone is like that, but for those of us that are, there should be more understanding.

to cut the waffle i'm just saying i hope you can take some time off work till you feel better.

will look at that thread.

i haven't been taking my pregnacare tabs cause feeling that that they are making me sick but will try again.

mrswooster barnacle bill and his death grip!!! please can you come on here more often with more of that, so funny!

essentially re my birth choices i'm saying that it i come from a genetic cluster of barnacle bill babies so ELCS is inevitable.

scarecrow this morning i almost forgot i was pregnant i felt so well. until i felt like clay melting into the floor after lunch.

my ds had a whole day without telly yesterday and we made bread and did an art class. he has been so much better behaved today and i'm sure it's linked. but i've been so exhausted we are now slumped in front of my computer sharing the screen - he's watching tree fu tom while i chat to you guys.

hpbp i'll go anywhere in the world for some cake including paris - just say the word!

midget well done for a) having a bath and b) posting from it! hope baby midget is well and getting even more of a grip on night and day


somewherebecomingrain Fri 26-Oct-12 14:53:29

just scanned the thread - yep that is my gut instinct don't take any chances have that ELCS as soon as they will give it.

i am not one of those people who has deep feelings about VB. I did read something on the internet that getting the head squished during VB sets of some brain-boosting, memory-boosting process in the newborn brain, and that is the only thing that has ever made me wistful about VB. if true, it does seem to me to pose a genuine dilemma. but it is just 'something on the internet' and the consultant looked at me like i was mad when i brought it up.

otherwise VB seems to pale into insignificance besides the safety angle. CS is simply safer.

having just watched this comedian Louis CK's 'everything is amazing and nobody's happy' sketch about how people complain when their mobile phones are slow when only 50 years we had no mobiles and no answerphones, and we complain about legroom in aeroplanes seemingly forgetting that we are flying, we are sitting in a chair in the sky, i am feeling a bit like, so you didn't get a VB - a hundred years you and your baby would be, you know not with us.

bit of a rant i guess.

maybe i'm missing something. always possible.


somewherebecomingrain Fri 26-Oct-12 15:06:24

yes i think if you're in a grey area getting pressured to have a cs when you don't need one that's where all these debates come in.

that's prob what i'm missing.

i've always thought i'm not in a grey area. they tried everything and i still didn't progress and DS got distressed.

however i clearly DO care about VB or i wouldn't be writing three mad posts like this about the dilemma.

eagleray Fri 26-Oct-12 15:32:18

Good afternoon from Home Office HQ! It's lovely being at home for once, (although am dressed like a tramp and ate Haribo for lunch - clearly attending an office daily is the only thing keeping me civilised...)

Midget - glad to see I am not the only one who takes her technology with her into the bathtub. I have a lovely wooden bath rack and have been known to balance computer, dinner and wine on it... How did the cake making go?

I popped into town earlier and got some Spatone - it may not be strong enough, I don't know, but figured it was a good idea to start taking something now rather than waiting for tests, and results, and doctor's letters and so on.

Knotty - glad you are feeling a bit better now after the flu jab - I have mine next week so good to get a heads-up that it can make you feel a bit lot under the weather.

Somewhere - it is going to be impossible to avoid driving I think, but feel so much more aware of needing to pace myself and concentrate, which is a good thing I suppose. I've got Tuesday off work as got wall-to-wall appointments, and as a last resort could take the train (doubles travel time though as there's a few miles at beginning and end of journey where I would have to take a bus).

I got some books in the post today today, including 'The Food of Love' - would really recommend even peeping at the preview of it on Amazon as it's really good! It's all about breast feeding, but seems to cover pretty much everything you would need to know regarding caring for a baby.

Busy weekend ahead - doing a photoshoot for 3 toddlers and their parents on Sunday (it's a bit of a sideline, although more of a hobby than a job) so most of the day is going to be bedlam I think. Then in the evening, I'm hoping to get along to a local homebirth group, on a factfinding mission! Will drag DP along and just hope he doesn't say anything inappropriate...

Hope you all have a nice restful or at least not too stressful weekend - and keep warm as those nights are getting cold now!

Midgetm Fri 26-Oct-12 15:58:09

Somewhere you had me chuckling about your 3 posts about ELCS. Sounds rather familiar as I spent the last 9 months having the same debate with myself. And no you are not missing something!

All of us Just want that baby in our arms don't we? how it gets there really doesn't matter a jot. I was really cross that I got talked out of my ELCS but now I am starting to feel better my bitterness is passing....

I have not baked. May go and do it now as master midge is sleeping next to me why does he not do that at night?

trying2bpos Fri 26-Oct-12 17:03:36

Hi everyone can I join you all? My friend somewhere invited me over from the april 2013 thread.
DC2 due on 2/4/12 when I'll be ahem 42!
I had DS when I was just 40 and noone mentioned induction at 40w to me being compulsory, I did have a sweep at 40+3 I think but didn't have him until 40+6 NVB (ish). I'm wondering if that's why so many of you seem to have ended up with EMCS if you were induced at 40w which now means you feel you should or are being persuaded to have ELCS? Sorry if barking up wrong tree!

Anyway I've not had a chance to read all of your comments on this so if someone could fill me in a bit on why safer for us older ladies I'd be very grateful.

PS. a CS of any sort would not be ideal for me as have a mild bleeding condition!

Wonderful to dip into your chat on loving second children, I do feel a bit bad for DS already knowing what I know (about his brother or sister being on the way) but I have a feeling he will make sure he is still topdog and in noway forgotten, he's just got that sort of personality!

trying2bpos Fri 26-Oct-12 17:09:01

Oh and somewhere From what I've read getting squashed through the birth canal helps get rid of the fluid from the lungs too which is supposed to be good (think they do this manually for babies born by CS). Having said that DS's breathing still sounded very grunty to me after VB and he still ended up on antibiotics in ICU and SCBU for a night as a precaution (ever wonder why you mentioned anything to the doctor?). So not sure how well the VB cleared his lungs and believe me at 9lb 1oz he was well squashed shock.

trying2bpos Fri 26-Oct-12 17:28:23

I know you're probably all sick of me by now (and going who is she anyway?) but just one more thing. Are you all having consultant led care, I am because of the bleeding thing, or so I thought but the MW when she saw I was consultant led said oh probably because of your age. Cheeky mare I thought!

trying2bpos Fri 26-Oct-12 17:29:02

Right that's it you won't hear another peep from me until Monday probably. Have great weekends all and congrats to the new mummies!

somewherebecomingrain Fri 26-Oct-12 17:35:28

Welcome trying. it's much easier to keep up with the chat over here! Everyone is so different and most are so much younger on the April thread. Everyone over here is knackered. Total respect for the 20 something mums it's the best age I'm sure but the sheer energy with which they are discussing buggy brands I can't keep up! While in terms of first timers I think the older you are the stranger it is iykwim.

Hpbp Fri 26-Oct-12 19:36:51

Welcome Trying2bpos. I read somewhere that in the 60's (!) a survey showed that mums over 40 have more risks of having a placenta failure after 40 weeks, it seems that this is the reason why induction is now offered to Mums over 40 ! as soon as they reach 39 weeks. But my obstetrician wasn't convinced because technology has improved a lot since and now monitoring exists. In my opinion, induction leads to CS because the body is forced to go into labour when it is not ready, contractions are not natural so the womb is not always very cooperative. This is one of the reason I wasn't really willing to have induction, I was too scared that CS would prevent me from taking care of the 2 DCs, pain after surgery and also more difficult to get on with BF. Eventually I had a sweep at 39+2 and had the baby less than 24 hours later and VB.
Voila, Somewhere, the reason why I did not want to go for ELCS. Because luckyly I had no medical condition that would have required CS. Of course, I was and still am petrified by childbirth even if I had 2 healthy babies, in my late 30 and early 40, but CS was a no no.
Wish you all a lovely week end

riversidelibrary Fri 26-Oct-12 20:06:57

hpbp the best research I've seen so far on stillbirth risk by maternal age and gestational age was the one linked to in the thread eagleray posted. The research published in 2005 based on over 5,000,000 singleton births, found that the risk of stillbirth for women > 40 years old at 39 weeks gestation was equivalent to the risk of a <25 year old mother at 42 weeks.

Study details here ...

Sorry to post and run without catching up with everyone, but my wedding is on Sunday and still lots of little things to sort out!

Hpbp Fri 26-Oct-12 20:42:21

Riverside, hope you have a wonderful wedding ! Be good ! And enjoy

Midgetm Fri 26-Oct-12 21:29:47

Have a great day Riverside will try and catch up from my laptop later.

scarecrow22 Sat 27-Oct-12 00:31:25

Should be going to sleep but had t interrupt important chat about birth plans and placentas to say: rob an investment bank, book a babysitter, and go see Skyfall. Brilliant. Sometimes funny, sometimes clever, somewhat sexy. Easily the best for many many years.
DD ran about for 2.5 hours today. True happiness spending a day in gardens with her and friends.
Night all.

knottyhair Sat 27-Oct-12 07:40:07

Welcome Trying! Riverside have a fantastic wedding day. Scarecrow, would love to see Skyfall, just not sure I could sit in the cinema for that long now (is it a long one?? I did managed Paranorman a couple of weeks ago with DS but that was only just over an hour I think).

somewherebecomingrain Sat 27-Oct-12 07:58:18

sad my DP just went to see it last night without me. we don't have much luck with the old babysitting and in truth i'm just so knackered.

isn't it lovely when they run about and knacker themselves out! i went to the local park with my DS and to be honest it was muddy, gloomy, empty and even my DS wasn't very impressed. but ikwym.

somewherebecomingrain Sat 27-Oct-12 08:04:39

looked at the study - couldn't really understand it but the graph v interesting. SB risk higher up until 24 weeks, then for a stretch until 32 weeks basically the same as younger women, then it slowly rises then at 39 weeks begins to rocket up.

it seems very clearcut the case for not letting <40s go overdue. although the overall chances are still v low.


ValiumQueen Sat 27-Oct-12 16:52:38

Jacob Ian John arrived safely on Thursday. 9lb 1/2oz. Utterly beautiful. Feeding like a pro, so mummy is knackered! Tubes tied off, so looking forward to lots of shagging with no worries, but not for a few weeks yet. Not caught up, but I will. I coped a lot better than the young things in with me, so feeling pretty good about things really.

scarecrow22 Sat 27-Oct-12 16:58:53

VQ wonderful wonderful news. And what a pro!! So happy baby Jacob arrived safely. Once again feeling pretty broody just thinking about him suckling happily. Partic as Jacob one of two names we'd picked last time if DD was a boy...so to speak. Got a lemon drizzle cake in the oven and had another MS-free day, and another 40+ baby safely in his/her mummy's arms. What a good day smile)
Take it easy.
PS also big hello & welcome to trying -I'm now 4th newest and beginning to feel like an old hand (newest, v much not youngest!)

Midgetm Sat 27-Oct-12 17:21:59

Welcome jacob and congratulations VQ - I knew you would be ok but this midget likes to worry till I hear for sure. Big squish but not near your section.....

Hpbp Sat 27-Oct-12 20:34:18

VQ, you are a star, the only who recovered so quickly and the first to post so quickly too ! Welcome to Jacob ! Congratulations. Feel very thrilled for you. XXX

MrsWooster Sat 27-Oct-12 20:58:19

Congratulations, VQ, enjoy your boy.

eagleray Sat 27-Oct-12 21:42:39

Huge congratulations VQ!! So glad all is going well x

knottyhair Sat 27-Oct-12 22:13:49

Congratulations VQ, and big kisses to Jacob xx

eagleray Sat 27-Oct-12 22:53:59

Oh, and all the very best to Riverside for her wedding tomorrow!

knickyknocks Sun 28-Oct-12 06:31:10

Congratulations VQ. Wonderful news to hear about the safe arrival of your gorgeous boy XX
Riverside have a. wonderful wedding day today. Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing all about it XX

ValiumQueen Sun 28-Oct-12 11:45:12

Thank you for your kind words thanks. Have had three nights of solid feeding, and my boobies are huge, milk not in yet but imminent! Have not yet got used his name, as it was a last minute decision, but he is a Jacob. Most definately the right name for him. So very grateful that he is here, and well. We chose not to have any tests during pregnancy, so we were prepared for him to have a problem or two, but he is ace, and utterly beautiful.

He was born mid afternoon and it was a long wait. We were there at 8.30, and we're told we were the only elective, and labour ward was quiet. Three EMCS' s later and it was our turn. By that point I was getting dehydrated and not feeling well, so did not enjoy the experience quite as much as last time, not that you can really enjoy being sliced open whilst awake grin there was a problem in theatre, not sure what, but there was bleeding. I suggested they just whip it all out as I did not need it anymore, and would kick start my diet..as far as I know they just cut my tubes. In recovery for hours, and off my head on diamorphine, but had skin to skin the whole time, and he fed for 30 mins, just went straight onto nipple. MW was very impressed by his natural skill. Never had skin to skin with the other two, so it was lovely.

Yet again they fucked up my painkillers. Not that hard to give tablets regularly now is it? And yet again they lied about what I was written up for. That is my only criticism though.

DD2 has decided she is now a boy.

Midgetm Sun 28-Oct-12 13:15:04

Hey VQ sorry they messed up your drugs. Why are they so tight with the drugs? I was written up for morphine on request and the Midwifes were really annoyed about it. I only requested it twice, largely to get sleep but they were so pissed off. It's not like I prescribed it for myselfconfused. Enjoy your lovely snuffling little Jacob.

ValiumQueen Sun 28-Oct-12 16:57:18

Last time I was written up for morphine but was told I could have nothing except PCM and ibuprofen. They lied and said it was because I was breast feeding when I challenged them.

This time I spoke to the consultant, surgeon and anaesthetist about it. As I was having my tubes done, it would be more uncomfy. Also, as a second section, it would be more tricky so more uncomfy. I saw my prescription sheet prior to the op.

Approaching my second night, the diamorphine had worn off, and I was getting uncomfy. At 8pm, with a guaranteed night of cluster feeding ahead, I requested something stronger. Again I was told I was not written up for anything stronger, and 'why did I want anything anyway? I explained I was in pain, and knew I was written up for something else. I was told I would be fine, I said I wasnt last time. But you are feeding, baby would get it too, do you want baby to get it? How could i be responsible to care for a newborn on morphine? Surely sleep deprived and in pain is more risky?. Only a risk to bf mums, it was almost pushed onto the bottle mums who snored all night.

Compromised on codeine, which took an hour to arrive, and I was told I could have 30 or 60mg. I said I would have the 30 if I could have the rest later if it was ineffective. I could have 60mg 4 hourly.

I eventually got it at 10.30, 2.5 hrs after requested. Proved ineffective. Asked for more, and was told it was 30mg 6 hourly. I was not given anything else until 9.30 the next morning. The morning meds were due at 6am. I was beyond furious and am considering a formal complaint. Then, when I was going home, I said I did not want my Brufen as had been given some 4 hours earlier. I was told I was being silly and really should take it now or I would be in pain. I would be later if I took it too early. Twats.

trying2bpos Sun 28-Oct-12 17:06:09

Congrats VQ what a star you are on MN posting so soon after becoming a new mummy (know you're not new in the first baby sense of the word but you know what I mean). OMG with the meds, they were the same with the paracetamol when I had DS so I got OH to bring some in, I mean is it that hard to keep on top of? They're more than happy to come in and wake your baby up every 4h if on obs!
Anyway I think you should complain it's ridiculous after a CS not to be given the meds you need and also to have them withheld because you are BF when they are supposed to be promoting BF, that would have really ticked me off! Jacob is my fave boy name ever but unfortunately I know too many now to ever use it! I am delighted to hear he BF straight away even after CS and is a natural at it gives me hope for my 2nd as with DS neither of us were naturals and it was v.hard work!

ValiumQueen Sun 28-Oct-12 17:15:11

My first two were pretty crap feeders, and we muddled through. I told telling the MWs to sod off helped as they all gave different advice.

ValiumQueen Sun 28-Oct-12 17:16:10

I would have posted sooner if I had got a signal in hospital. I really missed MN.

Midgetm Sun 28-Oct-12 19:48:01

I had similar VQ, anesthetist said morphine would not affect the baby at all - I checked with him. He said as only small amount of colostrum produced nothing would affect the baby until milk came it but Midwifes were so disapproving. I was only brave enough to get it twice as they got so shitty with me. But I got a lovely rest gringringrin

Hpbp Sun 28-Oct-12 20:45:08

OMG VQ I can't believe NHS would be so difficult on drugs. I was given so much here, much more than what I needed, of course I had VB and I can't really compare but still. Welldone on the skin to skin, I truly believe it makes a difference on the baby reassurance. Very glad that Jacob is so perfect. I remember well that you chose not to have any test, Mum's instinct, hey ! Have a nice rest, milk will be there soon. Again, congrats.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 29-Oct-12 10:15:09

Congratulations VQ that is lovely! Jacob is a great name - i only know good people with that name. I also think Jake, as he may well come to be known, is a superb name too.

he sounds like a strong little fellow!

sorry about the drugs. i remember struggling through the straight c-section pain on diclofenac and paracetamol and that was bad enough. that is literally cruel the game-playing with the codeine.

i hope you are feeling better soon.


ValiumQueen Mon 29-Oct-12 12:31:28

Survived night 4, and I have milk! Yay! Feeling pretty damn good as actually got two sleeps of two hours each. Pain is negligable now, indeed my huge boobs are more painful! Still very swollen, but that will go soon enough.

Considering Coby as a nick name.

Is Jacob very common? It was a last minute decision, and apparently is No7 in popularity, but not quite so high in Scotland.

ValiumQueen Mon 29-Oct-12 12:33:07

He has huge hands and huge feet, and very long arms and legs. He will be a tall man I think. It is odd to think that one day he will be shaving that face.

Midgetm Mon 29-Oct-12 12:45:54

Master Midge also has very big hands and feet. Massive. and unfeasibly large testicles.... blush.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 29-Oct-12 13:34:48

VQ and midget is it your first boy?

Hpbp Mon 29-Oct-12 14:01:35

VQ, that day is not that soon though.... How strange is that ? We are giving all our love to a little person so that one day this person leaves us.... Everything we teach them is aimed for them to be able to be independant. I definitively have an issue with de - fusion, if that makes sense?

Midgetm Mon 29-Oct-12 14:21:36

Somewhere it is indeed My first DS. Think VQ has 2 DD's so hers too. HP we could become those MIL's people are always slagging off on AIBU....

somewherebecomingrain Mon 29-Oct-12 15:29:14

awwwwww! i remember how astonished i was when i produced a boy! that i could make a boy and that these rough creatures begin as these little pearls, these gorgeous satin-soft babies.

i have to say my DS doesn't have big hands or feet - he takes after his father who is exactly a macho man. but otherwise well endowed i can't tell ANYONE this although i long to, my DP is V well hung no his small hands DON'T mean THAT only on mumsnet

somewherebecomingrain Mon 29-Oct-12 15:29:42

isn't exactly a macho man i mean

eagleray Mon 29-Oct-12 18:09:17

Ha ha - get you ladies with your well-endowed babies!

There's a diagram of a newborn baby in my Kate Evans book and the baby there is well-endowed, apparently a temporary thing which is designed to enable male bonding with the dad (in a 'that's my boy' sense)

I fear my baby will have huge unlady-like feet as all the females in my family have them (nothing smaller than a size 8, regardless of height)

ValiumQueen Mon 29-Oct-12 18:39:42

Ha ha! Yes, first boy after two girls.

Overdid it a bit today. Must be more lazy tomorrow.

Midgetm Mon 29-Oct-12 18:59:44

blush it's only his testicles I am afraid... Poor Master midge. It is strange having a boy though, I keep calling him a her and saying good girl.

Midgetm Mon 29-Oct-12 19:03:43

Rest VQ. I am still in my PJ's. Lazy arsed midget. I have to make myself leave the house as I can feel the blues creeping in. Not like me at all. Ate we cluttering up this thread with baby talk now? Should we move to a grads thread? I looked for one but a bit challenged in the brain department and couldn't find it. Until I do I will keep coming back here and talking shite grin

eagleray Mon 29-Oct-12 19:16:15

Here y'are - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1584834-Fantastic-40-Mums

But please don't go - it's so nice hearing how you are all getting on with the babies!

Hpbp Mon 29-Oct-12 19:20:05

Eagleray, there is no way I am leaving this thread and you are welcome to join the grads one too. Another 2 months and you will be a graduate too !

ValiumQueen Mon 29-Oct-12 19:27:11

I have not found it either. Perhaps someone less knackered could link again please ?

DH has told me off for doing too much but he growls at me if I ask him to do anything.

DD2 is coughing a lot so I pray she does not get ill. No temp at all.

ValiumQueen Mon 29-Oct-12 19:28:50

Thank you eagle for link and invite to stay. I do not want to leave either.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 30-Oct-12 06:55:02

I was talking about the father my DP! Oh no ...

knottyhair Tue 30-Oct-12 07:44:35

Morning! My DS is 8 and when he & his mates all go in the paddling pool etc in the summer, it's a standing joke that his willy is bigger than all his friends blush. Bless him. DP is certainly not lacking. My friends joke that it's the Italian bit of him (DP is half Italian so DS is a quarter, which he's very proud of smile).
Had blood taken again yesterday to check thyroid function and iron levels - she had a real job getting any out and it was quite painful! MW on Thursday when I should get the results re: iron, hope the supplements are doing their job.
Lovely to hear about all the babies!!

eagleray Tue 30-Oct-12 09:58:42

Good morning and greetings from GTT purgatory! Arrived at surgery this morning minus notes, and then got an even bigger bollocking from nurse for not arriving with a glucose drink (no one said I was meant to turn up with one, thought they would supply it!)

Am now in the 2 hour wait and frustratingly my house is in the same street but been told I am absolutely not allowed to go home so am sulking in the corner and trying to ignore the fact that the gloop keeps repeating on me

Seem to have a knottyhair vein today - painful and reluctant to part with any blood

Got whole day off so have crammed lots of things in for later - lunch out, hairdressers, pilates and trip to pool - gosh aren't there ladies out there who do this stuff every day?

Midgetm Tue 30-Oct-12 12:05:01

eagle I am blowing raspberries at the Midwifes for you.

eagleray Tue 30-Oct-12 12:37:20

Thanks midget! Am slumped in cafe now, awaiting a ton of food and drink to arrive at my table.

ValiumQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 12:50:16

Just popping to say back to hospital as lost 11% of weight. Grr. May be kept in.

Midgetm Tue 30-Oct-12 12:59:16

They did that to us too vq but let us out straight away. Hope the same happens to you.

knickyknocks Tue 30-Oct-12 13:24:53

eagleray I've got the joy of GDD mid December. Reaaalllly not looking forward to it. Err, sorry you have to bring your own glucose gloop? I too am imagining they supply it, but will take a lucozade just in case. Oh bloody hell - and you had to stay? I too was hoping to slope off home whilst waiting for those 2 hours to pass. Looks like I'll need to be prepared to stay. Enjoy that food and drink - suspect I'll be hoovering up an enormous meal after mine (and might have to make it MacDs as that's close by to the hospital.....)
knotty ouch poor you! I hate blood tests. I've got one tomorrow too for my thyroid (an old problem which just needs to be kept an eye on during pregnancy).

VQ and midget stay for a bit longer! It's lovely hearing how you're getting on!

I'm doing OK, back at work and feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work they're expecting me to do. Feeling a bit anxious about tomorrow too - the 20 week scan is tomorrow. Firstly, hoping that everything is as it should be, but second, finding out if it's a boy or girl. I've been having some hefty kicks today so think everything should be fine, but won't feel restful until I know for sure. Got a physio appointment on Friday too for the SPD. It's actually OK at the mo, just a few twinges here and there, but religiously doing my pelvic floors daily as it's supposed to help.

knickyknocks Tue 30-Oct-12 13:25:55

VQ crossed posts. Keeping my fingers crossed too that the stay in hospital will be short xxx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 30-Oct-12 14:16:17

good luck knicky i'm sure everything will be fine! the chance of trouble at this stage are really tiny.

are you going to find out the gender? i know what you mean about it being anxiety-inducing - we can't help having strong feelings about it.

are you hoping for a particular gender?

VQ so sorry you are back in hosp. keep us posted, hope Jacob is putting on weight soon. do they know why weight has been lost?

eagle what a nightmare! it must be over by now. why wouldn't they let you go home if you live on the same street? ridiculous.

i've just had the most delicious salami, pecorino and baby plum tomato sandwich, i think it calls for an encore.

tonight gonna make 'turkish flats with feta and salad' from 15 minute meals.

knickyknocks Tue 30-Oct-12 16:07:51

somewhere that sandwich sounds delicious - really strangely I'm loving baby plum tomatoes and raw carrots at the mo. Great for the diet! Plus, have now bought Jamie's 15 minute meals on the pretence of buying it for hubby for Christmas - I'm going to have to leaf through to that turkish flat recipe when I get home. I love feta too!

Yes, I'll be finding out the gender tomorrow if I can. It's more to do with the ever growing number of bin bags filled with DD's old clothes in the loft - it's either going to be a case of getting them down from the loft and giving them a wash, or taking them down the charity shop if I'm expecting a boy.

I rather suspect it might be a boy. As somewhere will know from the conception 40+ thread, there wasn't much I didn't know about my cycle. So I know when I ovulated and when I conceived and I suspect that the egg was probably nearing the end of my tube when the sperm got it. I'm figuring it can only have been the fast boy sperm to have done that. I'll soon find out if I'm right tomorrow! I haven't got a preference for either boy or girl - though financially it'll be better for us to be a girl (no need for new toys or clothes really), but know that hubby would really love a girl - and apparently DD would too - she told me on Saturday that she would like a baby brother called Harry. We'll have to see what we can do...... wink

somewherebecomingrain Tue 30-Oct-12 16:33:06

knicky fresh is great - i'm going through a tropical fruit salad phase also feta salad with a whole packet of parsley!

you will not regret 15 minutes - it's what every pregnant woman needs. forget about this Xmas present idea.

timing sounds like it might be a boy. conversely i'm thinking a girl is poss cause we did it on the run up to and on the day of the OPK positive, then stopped, which means the slow girl sperm might have had a chance to get to the egg!

have you come across the'nub theory'? if you look at a 13-week sideways scan pic, if the genitals are flat its a girl and if they point up its a boy. according to this mine is about 70% probably a girl (it's sort of flat but not totally).

so anyway still v open-minded.

anyway you don't need this hocus pocus - you'll find out tomorrow - good luck!


knottyhair Tue 30-Oct-12 16:47:28

VQ, hope everything is OK and you can come home soon.
I've just got 15 min Meals as well, although haven't tried anything yet. We're taking DS out for a Thai meal tonight, his favourite, and I'm not sure when we'll get to do it again!

eagleray Tue 30-Oct-12 18:37:57

VQ - that sucks re the weight loss - good luck and hope all is resolved soon.

Just home now after an epic day of appointments - post test slap-up lunch, then hairdressers, shopping, pilates, more shopping and just home! Just realised I look like a crash test dummy as my arms are covered in those little round plasters (found 4 so far) as had so many tests and vaccinations.

Knicky - re the gloop, I think what is supposed to happen (well certainly at my surgery) is that when the midwife issues you with a prescription for gloop when she asks you to make the appointment. Stupid thing is that it is cheaper to buy over the counter at the pharmacy anyway if you pay for prescriptions, so all they needed to do was tell me in advance to go and buy it! Stupid thing is that no one told me anything about this bit - I just assumed it was something they had in the surgery! To make things worse, when I had scuttled back from the pharmacy with the gloop, Angry Nurse tipped it into a jug so it looked like someone had taken a piss - vile.

When she said about having to stay for 2 hours, I pulled a face and said I lived nearby and she said definitely not allowed home (due to risk of reacting badly to gloop). And that she might call me back in for my vaccinations at any point, just in case I was thinking about making a bit for freedom. So I had to sit there for the hours - if they had supplied a chaise longue it may not have been so bad...

Something really weird happened while I was sat there though - was reading a news article on my phone about a woman who has had a baby recently (she comes from a vaguely newsworthy family) and a few minutes later she walked in with her baby! I did a double take and asked if it was her, and then we had a nice chat about her baby and other stuff. She has had a fairly hideous time - serious lifelong medical condition, IVF, pre-eclampsia, premature delivery, small for dates and so on, but baby was lovely (and really tiny). An interesting reminder too that it's not just older mums who have all these potential issues to contend with as she's 10 years younger than me.

Oh, and good luck with the scan Knicky - I was just recalling mine and recall that I wasn't overly worried at time (went on my own) as had had so many scans leading up to it due to amnio etc, and already knew the sex from the amnio as well. However, I would have been worried if it had been more of an 'unknown' as these things do get to you don't they? I'm sure everything will be fine though! Good luck also for the physio - I have had some SPD-stylee twinges on and off and went through all this at my pilates 1 to 1 today - she emphasised the need to keep as much symmetry as possible and has given me some exercises to do which focus a lot on pelvic floor (and even recorded a commentary on my phone for me so I don't forget how to do them)

Somewhere - all this nice food commentary is making me very hungry - just glad you weren't at it while I was in the 2 hour glucose purgatory/confinement. I have made several tons of mixed bean chilli and am off to heat up a serving of it now, with sour cream and guacamole on top.

ValiumQueen Tue 30-Oct-12 18:43:47

Back home. All fine. Will catch up later x

MrsWooster Tue 30-Oct-12 20:14:56

Another from GTT land. I had the test on Friday and also had to wait in the hosp for the two hours - apparently if you gallivant about it can affect the way the glucose behaves in your body (check out the medical knowledge...) so you have to be inert - or fall asleep in my case. Anyway, got the results yesterday and levels are high so have to go the diabetes clinic tomorrow. Not surprised, really - am old and portly and have been as thirsty as a snake and exhausted for weeks so it's a relief in a way to know what's actually wrong. It's also early - I am only 18 weeks so should be able to make any changes before any effects on the baby and hopefully a bit of a review of my diet might stand me in good stead for being in better nick afterwards.
Feel free to remind me of all this when I am bitching and whining about having to live on awful wholemeal brown food...

somewherebecomingrain Wed 31-Oct-12 09:27:52

just fyi i made the 'turkish flats' from 15 minute meals and the feedback from my DP was as follows:

"a keeper"
"if you think you're putting any of that in a tupperware pot for lunch tomorrow you're mistaken!"

sadly we had a row this morning so not like a perfect advertising family any more.

eagleray chilli with guacamole and sour cream - mmmm. DP doesn't like beans so i don't get to have them much.

btw getting the feeling you might be quite glam if you are in a surgery near celebs and you do photography as a sideline?


somewherebecomingrain Wed 31-Oct-12 09:28:43

ps mrswooster sorry you have the GD, but glad you have an explanation for your symptoms and hope you can find some lovely wholesome low gi foods to eat. happy to discuss!

Velo Wed 31-Oct-12 16:03:48

Hi ladies - having turned 40 in June I just qualified for this group! Wanted to let you know that I had little Max in October. The only age-related issue I had was that he measured small for his gestational age - born 2.3 kg and 38 weeks, probably due to my placenta not functioning as well as it should. The doctor realised that he was going to come early and put me on magnesium to 1) calm down early contractions and 2) to help prevent cerebral palsy which can occur in low-weight babies. Apart from that - everything went fine.

Good luck with your pregnancies -


scarecrow22 Wed 31-Oct-12 21:48:15

Been lurking for days, too tired and uninteresting to post ;) Just wanted to say hello to new mums and we are all rooting for a probably a little envying you ;) Also a supportive word and wave to the GTT/GD...ladies: totally confused by acronyms but get the gist, and hope you can move on soon. Good luck and goodnight all <waves>

littleredmonkey Thu 01-Nov-12 05:38:38

Hi ladies
Sorry so slack on replies. Baby Dylan taking quite a bit of my time. Cute as a bug. It five in the morning and doing my third breastfeeding session of the day. Trying to get some sleep. He sleeps two hour slots in the evenings during the day it's more cat naps. I am a tad knackered but powering through. dp is ace letting me have some extra rest last night as my little soldier had the screaming day from hell yesterday bless his baby gro ! Now I have a new phone I can post while night feeds snd can keep up with u all. Miss keeping up with u all. Managing to do some housework each day except the vac been banned due to c section. Been feeding in bed mainly and then little dude goes in his basket and I watch tv or a film. I can't sleep during the day have tried loads of times. So by tea time I am one sleepy red monkey. Dont mind being in the house all the time either which is good. Dylan is four weeks old today can't believe it really time flying.

somewherebecomingrain Thu 01-Nov-12 07:56:37

knicky do give us an update! hope everything is good with you!

midget sounds like a typical boy - not the greatest sleeper - but you are doing well - great that youre DpP is being supportive.

i'd have slept every moment my DS slept if i could have

knickyknocks Thu 01-Nov-12 12:11:00

Hi all,
So sorry I wasn't able to update yesterday with news from the scan.

It's a boy! No mistaking it either! grin DD will be very pleased when we tell her as she keeps saying she wants a baby brother (think we have Peppa Pig to thank for this with her baby brother George......)

The scan went really well. No issues or concerns - it was so thorough aswell. He was an active little man throughout the whole scan. He was just so lovely to see. Will need to start shopping now for boy clothes. Think some of the white or yellow babygros will do for him from our DD younger days - but the pink ones will have to find a new home - and we have a whole bin bag full of them in the loft.

littlered lovely to hear from you. Remember those early weeks - they're so tough going, but it can change suddenly too - I seem to recall DD got slightly better at sleeping round the 6 week mark.
mrswooster sorry to hear the GD diagnosis but glad to hear they've spotted it so can keep an eye on it.
somewhere when's your 20 week scan booked for? Must be soon? xx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 01-Nov-12 13:06:36

Wicked! Mine is in just 2 weeks - a 19 week scan really. Reasonably sanguine as had a v thorough private scan at 12 weeks but I'm sure I'll get anxious closer to the day.

A boy! So exciting!

Short cause on

somewherebecomingrain Thu 01-Nov-12 13:07:07


Midgetm Thu 01-Nov-12 13:27:21

knicky congrats on another little man for the thread. Lovely.

Sticking 2 fingers up at mrs w's diabetes. But a rousing cheer for the accompanying positive attitude.

Me and the boy have colds. Arse.

somewherebecomingrain Thu 01-Nov-12 13:39:35

Sorry I realise I addresses midget earlier
When I meant lrm

littleredmonkey Thu 01-Nov-12 19:26:43

Little guy Has a cold bless him. He sound awful and only 4 weeks old :-( the doctor has given me some nasal spray poor little guy.

eagleray Thu 01-Nov-12 19:50:32

Evening all

Knicky - that's lovely news re the scan! There seems to be an awful lot of boys around, doesn't there?

LRM - so glad you are Dylan are doing so well, and that's incredible that he's a month old already!

Velo - congratulations on the safe arrival of baby Max - I remember you from the early days when I was a lurker who wasn't even pregnant! Glad everything is ok now and imagine he is growing well

Somewhere - getting kinda curious about this 15 minute meal book! I am tempted to get it for DP for Xmas so that I can get him to cook a bit more often. By the way, am not remotely glam, but seem to live in an area with a high density of media/music/writing people. Survived the photoshoot on Sun but was wiped out by the end. I think I have learned the hard way that whatever shots you and the parents had in mind, you have to work within the limits of what the child is prepared to do, or basically whatever will make them smile! So abandoned all the shots of an 18 month old on a chair with toys as she didn't want to sit still and instead let her jump up and down on the bed.

By the way, if any of you are looking at getting family portraits done, I would really recommend you steer clear of the big franchises if possible as their sales tactics are pretty vicious - if you can, try and find an independent photographer who will listen to your needs and will also probably have more experience.

I unexpectedly got all my blood test results back in the last 24 hours - didn't expect them back til next week. The GTT results were absolutely fine, which I am incredibly thankful for. However, am slightly anaemic and also lacking in B12 so am taking steps asap to redress that.

MrsW - really sorry you got bad results - am sure that a change of diet will make all the difference. I have a low GI book in the kitchen somewhere - will take a look at it later to see if it has any useful information on what you should be eating. I will probably start using it more myself as really should not be complacent about my diet and health.

After whinging a couple of weeks ago about being called massive at work, I suddenly seem to have got, er, massive! Seem to be getting a lot of sympathetic looks at work and people are just generally kinder - a lady even walked me under her brolly to my car tonight in the pouring rain as I stupidly left mine somewhere.

Midget - sorry you have both got colds - can imagine that's pretty miserable with a small baby. Hope you are both better soon.

Sorry - only seem to be capable of epic posts!

MrsWooster Thu 01-Nov-12 22:03:11

Ta for good wishes, everyone. I now have a great gadget to test blood in morning and after meals and am trying to control things through diet for a week before going back to the clinic. Lelevls are pretty high, apart from after chops/boiled spuds/veg type of meals, so I shall be spending the rest of my pregnancy in the 1970s. Though I expect that Angel Delight is not low GI...
Seriously, we'll see how things go and if this stays the same, they'll have me on tablets then insulin so, one way or another, BabyWooster will end up ok with a bit of luck.

knottyhair Fri 02-Nov-12 06:35:40

Sorry to those of you suffering with colds and GD problems - you just don't need any extra stuff to deal with when you're pregnant!
Congratulations Velo, lovely to "meet" you and Max!
Had 32 wk appt with MW yesterday and my iron and thyroxin levels are now OK, just need to continue with the supplements (and thyroid meds obviously!). I'm measuring 34 wks which she said is fine, and Rosa is currently back to back which explains the backache, and the fact that I haven't felt her movements as strongly over the last couple of days. Heartbeat good & strong though smile. Halloween party was really good, but I was absolutely knackered afterwards! Looking forward to a nice quiet day with DS today - he has a rare gap in his social calendar so has to gets to spend the day with me!

knickyknocks Fri 02-Nov-12 09:13:43

knotty 32 week appointment? You must be feeling like you're nearly there now! Good news about your iron and thyroxin levels. Sounds like Rosa is doing really well - I suspect the movements aren't as strong as she's trying to get herself in a comfortable position for the exit! Good that the heartbeat is good and strong aswell. A nice quiet day with DS sounds lovely. Wish I could be at home with DD today - I was up about 15 times with DD last night - she's got a nasty virus, so was coughing and puking a lot of the night. Feeling surprisingly OK, though admittedly, having a coffee is helping.
mrswooster you do make me laugh! 1970's eating? Lovely - chops, boiled spuds and frozen veg was my mums speciality! Before you know it, you'll have the taste for eating spam fritters and birds eye savoury pancakes again (did we really eat those things???)
eagle completely agree, there's definitely a lot of boys on this thread at the mo! So sorry to hear about the anaemia. Good to hear that you've got a plan for helping it though. Oooh, definitely take advantage of the sympathy towards a pregnant lady stage! I think when you've reached that stage, it's your duty to take full advantage of it!!
midget so sorry to hear you and the little one have colds. Hate hate hate it when they're ill and so little. Crossing everything for you that it's a short lived thing and you're both on the mend soon.
somewhere 2 weeks till your scan? How exciting! Are you going to find out the sex? I can't believe it all seems to be coming around so quickly!

Due to go to a party on Saturday night, though it's all looking a bit doubtful as to whether we'll go now as DD hasn't been well. Depends on how she does today and tonight. We've got someone from nursery coming to look after her but wouldn't leave her if she's not well. Plus, DH is now saying he's starting to feel like he's under the weather. Crossing fingers I don't get the lurghy too. I could definitely do without it. Best go, my almond croissant and half shot skinny latte is calling me.....Much love xxx

Swanlike Fri 02-Nov-12 09:26:59

Hello, am still lurking after a few busy weeks moving house and starting a new job. Lots of babies born since I was here last - congratulations everyone! Starting to worry a little bit about the birth - I'm 27 weeks now - as I have some blood clotting issues which make a Caesarian risky for me - I'm at high risk of DVT, which pretty much rules a CS out, according to my consultant. So I want to keep things as natural as possible - if everything is ok still by then. I've moved midwives and hospitals so we'll see what they say when I have my appointment next week. I'm feeling fine still and Little Mo is very active all the time now.

knottyhair Fri 02-Nov-12 09:39:30

Knicky, really hope your DD recovers and you and your DH don't catch anything, sounds horrible sad.
Swanlike, glad you're feeling plenty of movement smile. Hope the new house & job are luvverly!

ValiumQueen Fri 02-Nov-12 12:40:51

Dangerously high BP so off to be admitted anyway. Me not baby. Bugger. Shit. Poo. Damn. Fuck grin see you soon hopefully.

Midgetm Fri 02-Nov-12 12:49:06

Oh balls vq hope all ok.

knickyknocks Fri 02-Nov-12 13:32:47

Oh blimey VQ, you poor thing. Really hoping it'll speedily sort itself out (which I'm sure it will). Thinking of you and the little man xxxx
swanlike, let us know how you get on with that appointment - the whole thought of labour is worrying enough without having other health matters to contend with. Hope that you get some reassurance at your next appointment - lovely that baby is being very active.

knottyhair Fri 02-Nov-12 14:02:25

VQ, you poor thing xx

eagleray Fri 02-Nov-12 16:07:13

oh shitbags VQ - really hope everything is ok x

ValiumQueen Fri 02-Nov-12 18:14:36

Home. Bed rest. Overdoing things apparently.

littleredmonkey Fri 02-Nov-12 18:34:15

Vq you take it easy honey. Look after yourself and relax as much as possible and glad u r home and not in hospital I have caught Dylan's cold so sat in bed breastfeeding him while he sneezes so do I we look a right state. Dp bought me lemsip and stepsils are they ok to take while breastfeeding? :

knottyhair Fri 02-Nov-12 19:20:59

VQ, glad you're home my love, and take care. LRM, sorry you're feeling so rough (and Dylan!). I don't know about Lemsip etc whilst BF to be honest, but if you can get someone to do it for you, a fresh lemon squeezed into hot water with a tsp or 2 of honey dissolved in, taken with paracetamol will do the same job, if there is any doubt. Hope you both feel better soon.

somewherebecomingrain Sat 03-Nov-12 08:27:37

Hi all on phone hello swanlike I hope you are feeling relaxed as poss keep us posted. I'm sure all will be well and the docs will give you tonnes of attention and care.

Knicky yeah def gonna find out sex. Just can't wait. So few girls at mo I'm hoping that boosts chances. Thrilling to have both genders so excited for u!

V concerned about my weight now. So sick if being fat. I never was until ds1 since then BLOATER. In a way trivial - I am fairly fit. Maybe I should question my obsession with 15 minute meals.

knottyhair Sat 03-Nov-12 16:39:33

Had a very vivid dream last night - went for final scan and they said Rosa was too big and delivered her immediately, and she looked like a mini sumo wrestler, and weighed 11lbs 11oz! What a whopper.

eagleray Sat 03-Nov-12 17:27:12

Knotty - there are few things funnier than people's strange baby dreams, which seem to get more surreal closer to the birth (although my cousin's first baby was 11lb..)

I had the 4d scan today!! Was actually quite nervous beforehand, but it was so lovely when I saw her face on the screen (and had a little cry). Was quite interesting as well to see how she is occupying her time - she was sat upright, in a V-shape with her feet next to her face, and spent her time grabbing her feet and yawning. In fact, in every scan I've had, she has her body folded up like a sunlounger - hope she doesn't come out that way...

DP seemed pretty happy to see her, although he thought she looked just the same as all the other babies he'd seen of 4d scans on Youtube hmm

eagleray Sat 03-Nov-12 17:29:13

VQ and LRM - hope you are both being good and resting in bed with babies close by and hopefully being waited on!

somewherebecomingrain Sat 03-Nov-12 17:46:23

Knotty lovely I'm sure the Japanese would say that augurs tremendously well.

Eagle ray lovely! How wonderful to see your child's face xxx

Still on phone no long rant from me. Am doing ok a bit of headache and nausea after I overdid it at the science museum yesterday taking out my ds and godson who were terribly cute together. Godson left with his
Mum and I atu

somewherebecomingrain Sat 03-Nov-12 17:47:44

Stupidly stayed another hour or more in the frenzied heaving might club atmos of museums at half term. Today paying price!

Hope all well vq glad u home want full vq styles update when you have mojo x

somewherebecomingrain Sat 03-Nov-12 17:48:17

Night club not might club

ValiumQueen Sat 03-Nov-12 20:18:13

I'm back and feeling almost better. A day of rest has helped, and being discharged by the midwives.

They weighed baby Jacob on day 6,8 and 10. Overkill surely. The midwife today said he has done really well to put on on day 8 and stay the same on day 10. I was gutted initially, but she explained babies have a growth spurt day 8 to 10 so a stable weight is equivalent to a gain at other times. She felt it was a bad move to weigh on day 10 as it often leaves mummy feeling disheartened.

I have not seen the same MW twice. Probably a good thing.

My BP was slightly raised today so I need follow-up at GP.

DH is shattered and snoring beside me. Just as well I love him.

DS is a joy. An absolute joy. It is amazing that even with number 3 the love is still there abounding. The girls adore him too which is a relief, and they are also closer to each other now it seems. The youngest, my baby girl, seems to have aged and grown overnight. She was so small and young, and now she is this hulking lump with amazing vocabulary and kindness. Mostly.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 04-Nov-12 07:15:09

hey VQ love that 'mostly' and 'just as well i love him' there's a longer story there if you had the time to tell it!

glad Jacob is putting weight on.

hope you are coping with the tiredness. yesterday i was showed to my DP a comment on an article on the guardian about a woman who was diagnosed with PND when she was in fact just tired (i was never diagnosed but i know i was depressed and very f-----g tired, so tired i basically looked mad for 9 months)

Get this, my DP said 'but tiredness wasn't really a problem for you was it?'


feeling the baby move quite robustly and feeling much more love than i ever did with the first. I felt a sort of remote affection and confidence in the first and was sure i'd love it but didn't at that point.

lovely to hear about your bottomless capacity for love VQ

scarecrow how are you how is your sickness?


ValiumQueen Sun 04-Nov-12 08:06:48

I love this thread. It is like a warm hug each time I read it.

I have greatly enjoyed my due nov thread, but it will likely dissipate now babies are here. I found that with april 2010. This, however will live on I think.

There is something special about talking to older mums I think. Not just the fact that we listened to the same music in our youff, but a certain maturity, willingness to see others point of view etc.

Had a fairly good night last night. Jacob is a star, and is very good with his feeding. The washable nappies and wipes are doing wonders for his sore bum, and he is sleeping. With my boob in his mouth, granted. I do not like co-sleeping and need to get him in his moses basket. He did one sleep in there overnight which is a first. I just do not sleep well for fear of squashing him.

knottyhair Sun 04-Nov-12 08:41:27

Lovely post VQ smile. Somewhere, you must have soldiered on and not let your tiredness show grin!
Went to a mate's house for fireworks & chilli last night stuffed myself with 2 platefuls and I was told about a friend of a friend who was due the same week as me, but had her little girl a couple of days ago, weighed 4lb 11oz. really must pack my hospital bag. Piddling down here. Need to do a bit of clearing up this morning then BIL, SIL and niece & nephew are coming over for cake this afternoon. Hope you all have a lovely Sunday x

scarecrow22 Sun 04-Nov-12 13:25:40

VW and LRM, and anyone I forgot after monster catch up just now - do hope you are taking it easy, and getting help. You will help everyone longtime if you are a little bit more assertive (or pathetic - whichever gets more help) now. We ladies need to learn to ask for help! I too pretty rubbish but was v I'll a few years ago (before pref with DD) and kind of realised I should have said help a lot sooner, so am consequently a lot more complainey honest now...

which leads me to my near birth twin ;) Somewhere and your DP!!! What??? My DP wondered aloud about fact he "might" have to cancel a work trip ending on my due date...but even he now sounds a new man ;) Promise if you over do it next time you'll tell him - or at least us? I've been there and it is ghastly (though does end when you get it right).

We've had a pretty good week ( helped by only working 2 days) and much MS and most headaches gone. DD been waking horribly early since clocks went back though (4.53 last Sunday - torture), but finally made it to 6am today. I developed a real hatred of clock changes last week and, having been a bit PO- faced about that "Go The To Sleep" book, did lie in ghastly denial one morning, to my shame actually thinking "just shut the up" last week. She is like my heartbeat, and golden and sweet, so I feel a monster admitting this, but I guess sleep deprivation is actually a form of torture for a reason. Sigh!

Okay, precious nap time after a lovely family morning swimming. Take care all, and happy Guy Fawkes, or whatever.

scarecrow22 Sun 04-Nov-12 13:27:53

VW supposed to be VQ. Obvs.

ValiumQueen Sun 04-Nov-12 16:22:45

I have been called worse grin

scarecrow22 Sun 04-Nov-12 21:56:01

Oooh, do tell wink

Also, loved your description of the boundless love for DCs. You have a wonderful way with words, witty and moving by turns. Rest lots.

eagleray Sun 04-Nov-12 22:53:39

I was reading a thread about the humiliations of childbirth the other night and noticed that a certain Midget and VQ had posted their own contributions! Laughed so much reading the comments that I wasn't sure if I was going to pee myself or split open...

The weekend seems to have been a mixture of frantic nesting and tomcat wanderings. Every object in house is being scrutinised and either chucked in a binbag or photographed and put in the Classifieds if it can't justify its usefulness in 10 seconds flat. Dragged DP out on Sat eve, first to cinema, then dinner and then stomped about town trying to find a pub/bar that was interesting enough until I realised I was in agony from walking so demanded to be driven home (with a stopoff at the shops for a twix on the way).

DP has spent most of the weekend hiding from me as he wants to lie down and rest all the time (hmmm thought that was my job) and has this evening managed to step on the hem of the curtains with muddy shoes and also cook some fish and stink the house out. He's gone for the week now, so am enjoying the peace and quiet.

VQ - glad all is well with you and Jacob. Have been pondering over washable nappies as had several offers from friends of outgrown ones, although wonder if I should wait until I know how much washing I can take on!

Hope you all had a great weekend - night night

somewherebecomingrain Mon 05-Nov-12 09:24:25

10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp, 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob

Knottyhair 44, DC2 due for ELCS around 17/12 Girl (Rosa)
Crazyforbaby 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
TheNoodles 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 22/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06

anyone I've missed? swanlike what's your due date (and age as we like to know here)

scarecrow thanks for your comiserations re the DP. Unfortunately I stupidly picked an entrepreneurial personality type to shack up with. He is incredibly sweet and loyal and loving and quick witted. But he has led us a merry dance, albeit quite glamorous and creative, over the past few years. We are in total penury although investment in his new start up is allegedly just round the corner. i hardly dare give all the details.

is your DD around 2 years old? that's when they do that waking early thing - it's terrible, my commiserations! only plus point is getting to the park as the sun comes up. hope you feel more rested soon. also pleased your MS and headaches getting better smile

I am starting to cry a lot. We saw a Royal British Legion OAP with poppies outside M&S. I got my DS to give him a pound for a poppy and explained this was 'for people who were very brave and risked their lives to keep us all safe a very long time ago' and i could hardly get the words out I got so choked and emotional.

Starting to nest - look at piles of clothes and think 'hmm wouldn't it be really almost FUN to go through those one by one and put away all the ones i can't wear whilst pregnant'. thank god. the nesting thing is the only thing that really has a chance of counteracting baby brain.

hope all you ladies are well.

eagleray you are most interesting with your wanderings and tomcattery. can't relate there (though sounds fab) but do relate on the nesting. Funny about the behaviour of your DP. Just what you need!


ValiumQueen Mon 05-Nov-12 10:26:41

scarecrow thank you. I used to work in the Prison Service, and when I left to work for the NHS, I was asked how my first day went. I said it was wonderful as nobody had called me a c**t all day grin

eagle accept all offers of nappies! In my experience I have less washing with washable nappies as you do not get the same leaks (and give them to me if you do not get on with them grin. Washable wipes will also save you a fortune. I have made my own and they are so much nicer on little bottoms.

knottyhair Mon 05-Nov-12 11:15:39

VQ, I know what you mean! I worked in Probation, firstly in a hostel and then in a prison and yes, it is nice not to be verbally abused on a daily basis, or spat at as I was a few times in the hostel!
Just had my Mothercare delivery - am stupidly excited at the thought of unpacking it! I think we've got everything ordered/delivered now except for a new mattress & fitted sheets for the Moses basket smile. New furniture being delivered on Weds, so I can then get some washing done for the baby and start actually putting stuff away, rather than just stuffing in whichever cupboard it will fit. Eagle, sounds like you're being very disciplined with the clearing out. Somewhere, I know what you mean about the tears! I tried to read Michael Morpurgo's "Best Christmas Present in the World" to DS (bit early I know!) and couldn't really get the words out, I was too choked!

ValiumQueen Mon 05-Nov-12 11:30:00

knotty I love getting baby deliveries. I am waiting on some teeny tiny washable nappies for J for overnight, plus a couple of accessories.

I know this probably sounds really bad of me, but I am a bit sad at the lack of cards and gifts for DS. I guess it is because he is my third. With my first, and even my second we had loads of gifts. My mums friend who I barely know, gave us £20 and a lovely changing bag which was so unexpected. My parents bought the double buggy, so extremely lucky there, and my aunt sent voucher for M&S so I bought some long sleeve vests for with the gro bags. Nothing from my brothers or inlaws. They have not been to visit either, which I guess has its positive side. It is not the gifts as such, but the acknowledgement that he is here. One of my brothers and his family have yet to meet DD2.

likesoxinbed Mon 05-Nov-12 13:09:48

Hello all - almost too frightened to post on here.
I joined mumsnet some time ago, and was on the TTC thread for a while but found it too stressful and thought I'd just give up thinking or reading about such things and get on with life. I have plenty going on and saw it as a bit of a whim, maybe.
Now my period is late, having been regularly 'early' for the last few cycles, and I find a faint positive staring at me in disbelief! Not FMU, but first chance I had in peace to check.
Am 40 with a DS of 13. Eeek. I have a very physical job, my own business, no staff, an OH who works away and several horses which are young and I ride every day.
But Hi!!

knottyhair Mon 05-Nov-12 13:25:54

Hi likesox! Congratulations, and how exciting! Are you going to do another test??

somewherebecomingrain Mon 05-Nov-12 13:32:57

likesox fabulous! keep us posted! xxx

likesoxinbed Mon 05-Nov-12 13:42:31

Thanks knotty and somewhere. Yes definitely need to do another test!
But I've googled myself silly for the moment and read far too much scary stuff, so I'm off to muck out the horses and think of other things and try not to panic.
OH not here at the moment so will scare him later!
Is such early days I feel like I should try not to think about it too much.

ValiumQueen Mon 05-Nov-12 13:51:18

Welcome likesox fingers crossed to a sticky one. I am guessing it would make your life complicated, but there is no nicer complication <<gazes down at unplanned DC3, age 11days, who we cannot afford, but cannot imagine life without>>

scarecrow22 Mon 05-Nov-12 19:47:10

Welcome likesox (keep wondering where the virtual gap is ;) ) - you could not be in a friendlier - if slightly bonkers - place here. And so young smile. Do let us know how you get on with second test. I told my husband by saying "the good news is we can have safe s*x for eight months", to which he grumbled "it's a bit bloody late for that"!!

somewhere DD's just passed 22 mo.. Am seriously thinking of blowing some savings on a sleep nanny, but will probably never quite do it. In another piece of synchronicity I am also married to somebody warm and strong (mentally and emotionally) and interesting, but utterly useless with money (optimism and love of nice things) so squirrel money away in different accounts etc to subsidise our life. Overall I feel grateful for his lovely qualities, but do often occasionally despair. Oh, and I put away many of my maternity clothes at the weekend, though after big sort out of DD's clothes (have sacks of cast-offs, bonus of being last person I know to have kids) as well was heartily sick of nesting by last night.

VQ how did you make reusables. I got some off eBay last time but had terrible leakage. Even of wee. Would love to try again. Tips welcome.

Midgetm Mon 05-Nov-12 20:54:19

Congratulations likesox let us know how test number 2 goes. Got everything crossed for you.

I am still amazed that I have DC2. If it can work for me it can work for any bloody body.

riversidelibrary Tue 06-Nov-12 09:51:35

Hello I'm back from honeymooning in the Cotswolds! Wedding day was brilliant, can't remember being so happy for so long. I'd love to do it all again if it didn't cost such a bloody fortune!

Belated thanks to VQ on the arrival of Jacob, I'm glad things seem to be calming down for you now.

eagleray your description of your LO's position in the scan did make me smile, I'd love to know how mine's sitting.

Belated welcomes to velo and likesox, do keep us updated on how you're doing, the more the merrier.

Baby wise I have my gestational diabetes test today but it's completely different to any I've heard mentioned on this thread on anywhere else on MN. No gloop or hanging around for hours at the hospital for me. Instead I had to have a breakfast containing exactly 75g of carbohydrate and then two hours later go to my local GP surgery for the nurse to take blood. Seems a much more civilised method.

(I was given a sheet with all the common breakfast foods and the amount of them that equals 15g, so all you need to do is eat five items from the list to get your exactly 75g carbohydrate breakfast)

knickyknocks Tue 06-Nov-12 10:25:09

welcome likesox and congratulations! Am keeping my fingers crossed it's a sticky one for you.
somewhere - I missed that article in the guardian about that woman being misdiagnosed with PND, when in fact just exhausted. I was similar to you, in that, it was me who did most of the night feeds, and I entered a level of tiredness that I'd never encountered before. DD was not the best sleeper in the world, and there were days where I was literally dizzy with low blood pressure from sheer exhaustion. At my lowest point, I remember just sobbing begging to sleep (and ironically, had a bit of insomnia for a short time when DD arrived.....felt like I was always on tenterhooks waiting for her to wake and cry again.....sad) I'm really hoping this time it'll be different, even a marginal shift towards a better sleep would be appreciated. Scarecrow's thought of a sleep nanny is a very tempting prospect this time, though I suspect I wouldn't go ahead with it either.
I agree that this time feels very different to last time. I don't think I appreciated what an amazing period of life pregnancy is. I certainly didn't really think about DD being a real person, whereas this time, I know what a lovely wonderful person I'm growing. It's all so much more real this time and I'm already feeling huge love for munchkin.
riverside ooh, your diabetes test sounds much more civil than the fasting, drink a load of gloop, blood test experience! Fab to hear that you loved your big day aswell. I hope the sun shone for you both (and will continue to do so!)

Working from home this morning, then off to London to a meeting, which will no doubt be both dull and unintelligible. The agenda had 27 attachments for god's sake! There had better be some bloody good biscuits there, or at least a nice pastry or two. Got to get through the damn thing somehow.....grin

likesoxinbed Tue 06-Nov-12 11:26:17

smile VQ congratulations!

Test number 2 the same.
OH took it all very calmly and seems very happy this morning. Is all a done deal to him and babe will just miraculously arrive and of course all will be well.
Told him we'll just have to wait and see, which non-plussed him a little, but can't fault his attitude really. Am sure it will be much harder to tell other people, and family, but that's all for the future.

ValiumQueen Tue 06-Nov-12 12:18:45

likesox today you are pregnant, and happy smile let that be your mantra. Enjoy it and dare to have hope. Looking at us should help with that.

DS has put on 6 oz since Saturday! HV happy to not weigh again until 6weeks jags, so we are very relieved.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 06-Nov-12 15:33:24

marvellous VQ.

knicky good perspective - don't expect miracles from this baby, but just to be a leetle better with the sleep than DS1.

scarecrow and knicky my mate got a sleep nanny and her DS seems to be sleeping through from 5 months. I was stunned by her audacity - shouldn't she suffer like the rest of us? But maybe I'll do it next time.

lovely likesox! this is the place to come for morning sickness and hormonal first trimester moans.

congratulations riverside.

i've had a little nap (priviledge of working from home) and feel stunned and like i can't move my face. so gonna duck out. hello all x


Hpbp Tue 06-Nov-12 20:28:11

Hello everyone, I have not been very talkative lately but still following your progress. I must say I am delighted to see that all pg are going well although GTT sounds like a nightmare for most of you except Riverside. Maybe Riverside you have a special treatment due to your very recent wedding ! Also glad to hear that second scans brought only good news. What a relief ! Well done, Ladies.
It is the first time I hear about sleep nanny. What is it exactly ? I am curious to know how sleep is dealt with by professionals as DS1 was and still is a bad sleeper but DD2 is the opposite. And VQ has some tips too as her DDs are good sleepers, if I remember, and baby J seems to follow the same path... Golden milk, hey ?!

On this side of the sea, nothing to report. Life is easier with DH around. He mainly looks after DS1 so I sometimes miss my cuddle time with DS1. Oh well, he is here only for one week, I will be patient and share DS1 with him !
Baby Anastasia is doing well, starting to respond to smiles, which is lovely.
I am also looking a bit better after myself, had a facial, a body scrub and will meet hairdresser very soon. This is the first time in 3 months, I feel like being human again on top of being a pair of boobs !!! Don't get me wrong, I love BF but some days, I seem to be nothing else but boobs smile

VQ, sending lots of virtual gifts to baby J. And hugs to you.

BTW, to all Oct new mums of little boys, I am going to get rid of some baby boy cloth (those that are too boyish and can't be used by a baby girl) let me know if you need anything specific and I ll be more than happy to share. DS1 was born late Oct 4 years ago, it is about time I clear a bit and I need space now that this second baby is a girl and her Dad has started treating her as a princess...

scarecrow22 Tue 06-Nov-12 21:55:10

somewhere please let us know you are okay when you feel up to it. Was a slightly alarming description. Take care.

Swanlike Wed 07-Nov-12 00:07:40

Somewhere, hope that you've recovered from the museum visiting. I'm 41 and my EDD is 31st Jan 2013.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 07-Nov-12 11:20:09

oh no am fine dears! just sleeping in the day knocked me out. touched by your concern smile.

went to an election party last night. bit boring as no results until long after we all had to go to bed. i myself was outstandingly boring after my knock-out nap.

Anyway am pleased Obama got a second term. Was not keen on that Mitt Romney or those teaparty types. I've looked at the election thread and it seems virtually all MNers support Obama so I hope this is not controversial.

Ok so he's not perfect but he is the better choice.


somewherebecomingrain Wed 07-Nov-12 11:23:16

ps knackered today.
hpbp that sounds enviable re having various attentions paid to your body. ikwym about BF - i'm not actually looking forward to it so much this time round.

a sleep nanny - well i think they are also called maternity nurses or something and you can hire them to come in and stay with the baby for one night or many nights and kind of assess your baby and what you need to do to get it to sleep through the night.

i met jonathan dimbleby's son once who as you can imagine is v rich and he and his wife had a maternity nurse working the nights for months shock.

my mate just got one for one night.


somewherebecomingrain Wed 07-Nov-12 13:21:17

10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp, 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs”Oldandcobwebby”45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob

Knottyhair 44, DC2 due for ELCS around 17/12 Girl (Rosa)
Crazyforbaby 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike 41, 31/1
TheNoodles 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 22/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06

riversidelibrary Wed 07-Nov-12 19:28:43

DH and I agreed we wouldn't purchase any baby things until the third trimester, so today we had our first baby shopping day. We managed to chose the cotbed, nursery chest of drawers and after much walking between Mamas and Papas, John Lewis and mothercare we finally ordered the baby style Oyster. Very happy.

Hope everyone else had a good day too.

eagleray Wed 07-Nov-12 20:09:54

VQ thanks for advice re nappies. I will take the next lot that get offered and start reading up on it.

Sorry you are sad at the lack of acknowledgement of Jacob - sounds like the support is coming from unexpected places! It is probably partly down to being the third. On a vaguely similar note, I always felt that my older sister got everything given to her as she was the first, even continuing to adulthood (she had her college education, first car, gap year, wedding and major baby stuff for her DC1 all generously contributed to) and I have had nothing really (but am clearly stronger for it!)

The present stuff can be a minefield though - mentioned to my mum the other day that I had got a posh first size snowsuit off Ebay for next to nothing and she was really upset as apparently she has already bought a snowsuit for the baby and now I have ruined it. oops...

Sox welcome and congratulations on the bfp! As VQ says, dare to have hope. I recall those early days as long and hard, but at some point they join together to become weeks and then months

Riverside glad you had a lovely wedding and honeymoon. That's v interesting re your GTT test - no idea they did it differently in other areas. Not sure I could be trusted to eat exactly 75g of carbohydrate tho...

Well done on all the major purchases today! I have mentally chosen what I want, in terms of the big things, but haven't yet got round to buying.

Somewhere - am with you on the Obama celebrations - was really nice to wake up to the good news this morning!

HPBP - that's so nice that you have DP around for a little while, and that you are having some time to treat yourself. I had a few nice things such as facials and pedicures booked a few months ago, but had to cancel them all when I realised how many hospital appoints I was having to attend. I will probably try and treat myself late Dec/early Jan as will during that time have a bit of time on my hands!

My mood has been generally bad this week - finding more and more things to do and less and less time to get them done. Work is very quiet but I am constantly having to make up time because of stupid appointments (I am not entitled to time off as such) so end up with very little time to myself.

Some good news though - I bought a sparkly maternity top off Ebay and it fits! (mind you it is masssssive) So at least now I have something nice to wear on nights out...

scarecrow22 Wed 07-Nov-12 22:53:53

I think at 22mo DD a bit old for maternity nurse ;) a neighbour has recommended a lovely sounding woman who from what I gather is no nonsense but not Gina. I think she spends time talking to me and DH, including observing us for a night (put down and how we deal with problems, in our case mostly 5am on), then talks us through her observations about why problems might occur or not get resolved. For example she pointed out toy friend (who is lovely enough to agree and not have minded) that she and husband let DC do anything she wanted: because she was basically good an sweet and an only child they had not notice this trend. The sleep nanny suggested she did not know how to handle frustration! Whatever, my friend says it worked. I'm hoping we'll do the minimal package - so she then guides us through another night/morning, and then is avail on the phone for a few eves/days to advise on progress.
Am prob going go for it. So much money for something I think I should be able to do, but DH and I cannot agree Andy mood at home and work seriously suffering. I was up at 5.20 this morni g listening to DD cry for me and didn't get back for work til gone 10pm.
Will advise on success - or not. Please cross fingers for me.

scarecrow22 Thu 08-Nov-12 09:37:17

Nearly 17 weeks pregnant.... Shouldn't people be standing up for me on train now? I just got virtually barged out of the way for an empty seat just now!! Bah! Might succumb to one of those "baby on board" badges. What do you think?

Talking of baby on board, DD and I were in our den this morning (where we now spend most of our waking hours at home ;) ) and she said "goo goo": when I asked if there was a baby with us she said yes, when I asked where she pointed to my tummy. Is it really poss she gets this? I've said it a few (3-4?) times but kind of assumed she wouldn't understand. Must get "There's a House in Mummy's Tummy". What were other books you guys recommended way back on thread? Concerned it's a bit early?!

Have good days.

likesoxinbed Thu 08-Nov-12 14:33:52

Ohhh. Awake in the night with nausea - settled with toast. I'm only 4/5 weeks - its too early for morning sickness! I hardly had any at all with DS - one week when we were driving through France and I discovered fresh croissants kept it at bay!
OH is laughing and talking of twins, damn him. It hadn't even dawned on me - I am a non identical twin. I hadn't realised until I googled it that it became more likely as you got older!
Have completely gone off coffee, which I know is a good thing really, but what one earth do I drink? I've never been a squash drinker, too much fruit juice I find acidic... Plus people keep making me them as I normally drink as many as are offered.. Far too soon to tell anyone and I wouldn't want the hassle re. work and horses anyway - I have to do what I do pregnant or not...

Nice to come on here at least and have a chat so thanks for that. I do hope people will be happy for us when they find out, will they??

somewherebecomingrain Thu 08-Nov-12 18:08:22

sox morning sickness is good but so wierd. I am still fascinated by how awful i felt. I'm glad toast helped. I went off coffee too this time and I think that is a sign of potentially quite bad MS as i didn't go off it first time round when my sickness was much less.

i still can't drink coffee really although i feel much better generally now.

What do you drink? Tea? i drink a lot of half and half orange and water - i find juice much too sweet but if diluted it is refreshing and crave-satisfying during pregnancy.

do tell us about your cravings, mine during the height of my nausea was nachos with salsa, melted cheese, guacamole and sour cream.

now having a wierd pot noodle penchant. blush

scarecrow do report back. i am interested in this as i do not for a moment think my parenting is perfect and i do also think we screwed up my son's sleep training totally.

can you ask her if she does it for four year olds? where do you find these people?

i have no money but that is allegedly going to change.

VQ i have a sister who has never come to see either my son or my other sister's son and daughter. ever. in five years. having said that she is a very vulnerable, disturbed person and we are quite releived and not at all offended.

Where I did get upset was that my (non-crazy) sister got the entire EXTENDED family fawning on her when she had her son and then they all ignored my son. I know they're not bad people so i think there is a diminishing returns thing when a child is seen as 'just another' rather than the first.


MrsWooster Thu 08-Nov-12 19:54:17

Hi Sox, 4.5 weeks is, sadly, not too early for ms! No recomendations re the coffee, I am afraid, tho if ms does take hold then you won't care as you distastefully sip ginger ale to reduce the nausea...
I feel your pain re twins - I really liked the idea first time round but absolutely shat myself when I started with early ms and read the same google pages you have obviously seen and I am not even a twin... If it is then, after the first terrifying years months, they'll be a fab blessing.

likesoxinbed Fri 09-Nov-12 08:34:06

Not feeling so bad this morning after a queasy patch last night. Was up early (OH couldn't find a cat) and had toast straight away. I have got a rather crampy, twingey feeling though, which I definitely didn't have last time around. Like sharp stabbing pains above my pubic bone. Hey Ho. What will be will be I guess.
Suppose I will have to ring the Drs soon - I was hanging on thinking things should be more definite and not wanting to go to early and look silly!

Without sounding too awful DS was a horrid baby - through no fault of his own bless him. He was a bad and grumpy feeder, colicky and cried for hours on end. My mum - who had brought up all her siblings, and had twins herself, despaired in him as you could never please him. Just his personality I think as he's still not got the easiest character at times - he's naturally rather pessimistic and sensitive. The one thing he did do was sleep quite well which was a god send as if he was awake he was usually crying!!

likesoxinbed Fri 09-Nov-12 08:40:41

Having seen all my siblings have children, and had one (the first) myself I would agree that the attention lessens as the numbers increase. Mine was probably 'ruined' in all honesty - as were other first borns. The younger ones were less spoilt and doted on and are, dare I say it, the nicer for it maybe in the long run.
I don't mean that to sound too harsh - but I can't seem to write it any better so am just going to hit 'post'. Forgive me!

somewherebecomingrain Sat 10-Nov-12 10:05:15

just had a massive pregnancy cry at the john lewis advert blush

remembering that they are not like tesco, they really do represent some of the finest values in capitalism. although i also take it with a pinch of salt.

anyway forgive me i'm pregnant.

MrsWooster Sat 10-Nov-12 19:29:04

I haven't seen it yet but still fill up at the thought of last year's ad, so it doesn't bode well... You Are Not Alone!

MrsWooster Sat 10-Nov-12 21:17:56

And if anyone could tell me why I am watching One Born Every Minute AGAIN instead of going to bed, I'd be most grateful.

Midgetm Sat 10-Nov-12 21:31:39

mrs w because you are a masochist. Go to bed woman.

MrsWooster Sat 10-Nov-12 22:10:14

but the laydeee had a likkle baybeeee!!! <runs away>

somewherebecomingrain Sun 11-Nov-12 10:47:48

Chortle. Ladies u do cheer me up xx

knottyhair Sun 11-Nov-12 14:13:21

Hi everyone! Just popping in quickly - hope those of you feeling rough are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel! Got my last scan tomorrow (34 wks) and they're also giving me a date for the CS - it's all getting a bit real!

Midgetm Sun 11-Nov-12 14:28:42

34 weeks? Bloody hell where did that go?

eagleray Sun 11-Nov-12 15:24:06

How exciting Knotty! - those last few weeks will fly by I'm sure. Aren't they meant to be doing the CS about a week before Xmas? That will hopefully give you a little bit of time to recover and then get home for the 25th...

Today I have been mostly flogging things at a car boot sale (part of my ongoing campaign to purge the house of surplus items). Spent most of the night awake for some stupid reason, then got there just after sunrise to find we have been given a pitch in the mud - nightmare! Anyway, made a few quid for the pram fund and am finally reclining on the sofa, my back having gone into some sort of semi paralysis/spasm some hours ago (didn't sit down at all for 5 hours as was so hellbent on trying to get rid of things)

MrsW - used to watch OBEM and find it mildly fascinating/entertaining - can't bear it now, for some reason.. hmm

Big wave to all and hope you enjoy the last embers of the weekend....

knottyhair Sun 11-Nov-12 19:18:48

Midget, I know, I'm not sure really! Eagle, yes should be around 17th fingers crossed. Glad you made a bit of money at the car boot, and hope your back is OK, take it easy if you can.
DS helped me put all the baby clothes away this afternoon and we had a chat about me being in hospital and away from him. Think I put his mind at rest by telling him that DP will bring him in asap, then take him home for Xbox and fish & chips whilst I'm not there! We've just made our first 15 min meal from Jamie's book (team effort between DP, DS & me), and it was vairy nice - Greek chicken with couscous & tzatziki. Forgot to time it though but it was quick! Definitely will be making use of that book in the next few months years. Hope you've all had nice Sundays.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 12-Nov-12 10:19:05

oh knotty you've joined my cult! how wonderful. yes i've got my eye on that greek chicken recipe. it's what i might make next.

My goodness it's coming up so quick! Rosa is on her way! smile

well done eagle for the car boot - did you feel hungover the next day? I always do after i overdo it while preggo. PS i keep seeing a major Guardian writer in the swimming pool - he with his kids, i with my kid. My DP spoke to him once in a fanboy way and he knows who i am cause he caught me staring.

mrsw i started watching OBEM last night. i didn't want to watch it before because i felt sad that i might not have another child but now i suppose i can let myself get into it, in the safe knowledge that none of it applies to me cause i'll have an ELCS. It was amazing.

midget how are you? indeed how are LRM, fjord, VQ, bytheseaside you owe us all an update - or i'll just come look on the baby thread (although feel superstitious about that).


eagleray Mon 12-Nov-12 18:34:38

Arghgh looks like I will join the cult of Jamie and his 15 minute meals as well - cannot stand the bloke but there are enough veggie recipes in the book to justify buying it and think it would be a good way of getting DP to cook meals for me (would probably suit his short attention span)

Somewhere - yes, feeling a bit wrecked today after such a busy day yesterday - might not have felt so bad if I had gone to bed a bit earlier last night!

I have been looking periodically at the baby thread - it's lovely to see how everyone is getting on 'on the other side' and quite an education - I think sleep deprivation is the key theme!

knottyhair Mon 12-Nov-12 19:51:58

Oh I luuuurve Jamie! I know he can be a bit OTT but I think he's amazing - DS idolises him as well and has his own DVD of Jamie at Home which he watches all the time.
34 wk scan today and all well - estimated weight at the moment is 5lb 12oz! Finally have my ELCS booked, for 17 December, so fingers crossed should be home for Christmas all being well. Has anyone had an ELCS before? The consultant said I would need to inject myself with something for a few days after I come home to help clotting?? I must admit I was a bit shell shocked and didn't really pay attention - what a twat blush.

scarecrow22 Mon 12-Nov-12 20:23:54

knotty I had to do that after DD (though as I lost shed loads of blood cos it won't clot didn't totally make sense to me confused... And don't worry I take meds which caused complication. The good news is you can survive well with nearly half you blood down a drain...) anyway I really am squeamish about needles - I look away in films/tv...- but I was fine with it. It's more like an epinephrine and you just stick it in your bum or thigh or something - more of a prick than full needle experience. So be reassured.

Ooh, do tell - or give a clue - somewhere, who is writer? I'm guessing it must be one with a picture byline if you recognise them? I also read Guardian! Okay, enough incriminating info about me.

Oh, and Jamie in 15 on my Christmas list. Family in stitches as my poor cooking something of a legend. In his wedding speech DH said that through me he had explored new avenues of scientific wonder - such as it is truly possible to burn a pan of water... I'm thinking two DC and quick cooking a good combo. Does it do a quick Thai curry (and can it be quicker than my "open tin of M&S Thai chicken, add veg, heat in pan, serve" rece. Slovenly, but not bad!!

Finally WHEN does friggin' MS go? Less constant but still feature of every day, and some attacks really sudden and strong (nausea, but v horrid), plus headaches still nearly every day. Not enjoying this <self pity smiley>

scarecrow22 Mon 12-Nov-12 20:24:39

More like an Epi-pen. Silly auto-correct...

eagleray Mon 12-Nov-12 21:19:16

Scarecrow - there is a full recipe list in one of the books reviews here - hope this helps... Sorry you are still feeling rough - I think I finally started feeling better around 15 weeks. I was never THAT ill to begin with, but do recall feeling like someone had switched the lights back on again

Got a bit of a headache myself this eve - am seriously considering taking drastic action and heading off to bed soon. I should be a lot more tired than I actually am - maybe I get away with it because I have a desk job?

Knotty - a date, and a fairly well-cooked baby already! Eurgh to the injecting though. The epi-pen doesn't sound so bad though.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 13-Nov-12 09:56:45

I vacillate over Jamie Oliver. Clearly he's quite lovable but then he's a brand and I'm not going to get too fond of a brand. Yet he has done some righteous things - he's a relatively ethical brand. I was watching the 15 minutes programme on ch4 and allowing myself to really get lifted up on the 'Buffalo Girls' theme tune and the whole 'pioneer' metaphor - Jamie is a cowboy in the wild west of cooking!. Then i found his presentation deeply irritating.

but the food is good - can't knock it.

I have been a bit sad over the weekend. My mum has just had a health scare - she got this lump in her neck which is apparently a 'sentinel' gland for really bad things. Some preliminary tests show it's not something in her organs that will carry her away in 6 months - it's confined to the lymphatic system. So semi-relief.

it's wierd in a way i didn't feel sad about it (although i did cry quite a lot) but at the same time these anxieties about the world ending through climate change started to engulf me, like a metaphor. It was a very strange weekend. She's nearly 80 so these things are on the cards.

Sorry to dump about it.

knotty you are the sole December lady on the thread so you are going to get lots of attention!

Only ever had an EMCS but i imagine an ELCS being very civilised, scope for a cup of tea before and after, a kind of 9-5 thing. Maybe that's naive of me...smile The clotting meds do slightly complicate that picture but as scarecrow says v. simple in practice.

scarecrow lol re your cooking! The sickness for me faded gradually from week 14, approx. i have found taking vitamins - even spatone - brings it back. i have to get my vits from food.

definitely feeling baby kick. scan on friday - going to find out sex.


knottyhair Tue 13-Nov-12 10:39:05

Scarecrow, thanks for the reassurance, that sounds a bit less scary! Eagle hope your headache didn't hang around too long. Somewhere, really sorry about your mum, it must be a worry. It's weird how we suddenly realise how old our parents are getting and having to accept all the health worries that go along with that. My mum turned 75 on Saturday and in the last few years has started acting "old" IYKWIM! Mind you, the birth of her great-granddaughter seems to have given her a bit of a boost, and she's really looking forward to cuddling Rosa smile. Good luck for your scan!

Making mushroom & potato curry for tonight, then having another go at Jamie's book tomorrow - going to attempt the swedish meatballs.

eagleray Wed 14-Nov-12 23:28:05

Cor - bit quiet on here of late, isn't it?

Sorry to hear about your mum's health scare Scarecrow - as Knotty said, it's quite frightening I think when you realise your parents are possibly approaching frail health. I found some old pics of my mum and me together recently and realised she must have been considerably younger than I am now, and now she is effectively an old woman.

Had a couple more 'massive' comments this week - one from a woman collecting something for sale from my house, and the other from a colleague I barely know. Just replied that I was actually measuring completely normal for dates, and that the baby was very average in size and one woman said no, I was definitely very big and so it must be fluid! Maybe I am in some sort of denial? Bah - who cares anyway! I can still run up a flight of stairs (but I might just try and sit on the next person who goes on about the massive thing)

Knotty - how did the curry and meatball recipes go? I should have added the book to my Amazon list tonight as did a big shop but was clearly too preoccupied with clicking on iron sachets and boob cream.

Caught a bit of OBEM tonight and found myself really irritated by all the shouting and squawking, mostly when the midwives were all trying to get women to push the baby out. Just sounded really unnecessary and stressful - think I would tell everyone to bugger off if they all started shouting at once!

somewherebecomingrain Thu 15-Nov-12 07:33:30

Yes it is bloody quiet come on ladies

I watched OBEM too last night wishe they had some c-sections its not v representative. Also you see how kind of fake the midwives are with their pushing pep shouting. Not fake but just they do it day in day out.

Sorry grumpy as hell ds woke me up at 5.45 am. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Been trying to get better at disci

Eagle sorryyour getting

somewherebecomingrain Thu 15-Nov-12 07:36:31

Yes it is bloody quiet come on ladies

I watched OBEM too last night wishe they had some c-sections its not v representative. Also you see how kind of fake the midwives are with their pushing pep shouting. Not fake but just they do it day in day out.

Sorry grumpy as hell ds woke me up at 5.45 am. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Been trying to get better at discipline - explain offer alternatives dont shout all that. But gonna b on the ropes today

Eagle sorryyour getting these comments are u slim making u're bump more noticeable? It is a famous no no to say the bump is big small or in any way exceptional - except perhaps at the end when everyone is massive xxx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 15-Nov-12 07:37:13

Damn phone

riversidelibrary Thu 15-Nov-12 08:05:33

somewhere I've also had a scary week with my Mum, she had a heart attack on Friday. She seemed to make a great recovery on Saturday, talking and walking normally in her little hospital room, but an angiogram on Monday showed she needs an urgent triple bypass operation. Now we're waiting for a bed to become free at Kings hospital so she can be transferred for the op.

On the positive side thinking about the little one is keeping me sane. After a stressful day I lay in bed for quarter of an hour just watching my belly ripple as he had a good old kick around. Midwife appt tomorrow, not expecting great things of my blood pressure!

eagleray I've had very few comments about my size. Although I must be looking big as people leap out of their seats when I squeeze onto the tube, or maybe I just look knackered!

knottyhair Thu 15-Nov-12 08:20:50

Riverside, really sorry about your Mum. Similar thing happened a few years ago with my Dad - he had a quadruple bypass and he lost a lot of blood in theatre and we were basically told to go and say our goodbyes. 15 years on and he's still here, and happy & healthy. Really hope all goes well for your family.
Eagle, I've had a few of those comments, although an equal amount saying how neat the bump looks. I got weighed at the hospital this week and I've only put on about 1.5 stone this time (BMI has gone from 23 to 27). People just seem to think you're public property when you're pregnant! The curry recipe was very simple but tasty, here. The swedish meatballs from 15 min meals were really nice, and I made double of the meatballs & sauce so I can freeze them and just cook the rice/veg.
Somewhere, hope you get some rest today.
Hope everyone else is OK xx

knickyknocks Thu 15-Nov-12 13:59:00

Hello ladies, sorry I've been quiet for a while....
flaming heck eagleray seriously where do people get off talking about size of bump.....that said, someone told me I was a 'lovely shape' today (no idea what they meant but would rather they didn't comment).

all that said, ladies, this time, my whammers are enormous! Ridiculous. Already filling (and experiencing a rather unattractive overspill) a 36FF. Have no idea where it's all going to end - probably with my nipples brushing the floor no doubt sometime by 40 weeks. Will need to get a new bra because the ones I have are quite frankly starting to look obscene.....

Not weighed myself in a couple of weeks. Last time I checked I've put on 13 pounds at 22 weeks. Suspect I've gone over the stone mark now - no idea if that's good or bad, but I don't feel as if I've gone overboard with my eating.

riverside so sorry to hear about your mum. What a worry that must be. I really hope things smoothly and she's on the mend as soon as she can be.

bytheseaside Thu 15-Nov-12 14:32:53

Just popping back to say hi to everyone from the other side, and also sleep, sleep, sleep while you can!!
Life with baby seaside is lovely and knackering in equal measure, made much more manageable by lovely ladies on fantastic 40s mum thread, make sure you come and join!
Best of luck, especially to everyone in the middle of a difficult week x

scarecrow22 Thu 15-Nov-12 16:48:50

somewhere and riverside really sorry to hear about your mums. I've had a few health scares with dad in last few years - including being told he had MRSA after a heart procedure...only to find out 24 hours later he was a carrier (most are) but was not actually infected. Anyway, I am close to my mum and so really do feel for you - selfishly I am glad I have my own family now as I find it nice to have a focus in the other direction, and also it will be so lovely for your mums to think about grandchildren and life and innocent love and fun. And do do talk/dump, whatever. That's what we are here for and it will help.

Talking of positive news, so so hope the scan goes well tomorrow somewhere - we demand your presence here ASAP after to report news!! Mine is three weeks today, more a 20.5 week scan; (you are cheating wink). No real movement yet, but the good old nausea (and acne!!!) tells me something still going on.

Btw, any of you been to a VBAC clinic? Am debating natural birth attempt but seems doomed to fail given I never went into labour last time and max time they give you to start pushing is 6-8 hours. But a funny (odd) bit of me feels I should try...then my brain says "you idiot: book an ELCS at 39wks and be done with it"...

Oh, and have any of you London commuters got a TfL "baby on board" badge? Will I look a tool? blush

riversidelibrary Thu 15-Nov-12 17:50:31

Thank you all for the kind thoughts, it's much appreciated. No more news, Mum still stuck at the local hospital waiting for a transfer date to Kings for the operation. She sounds in good spirits though and I'll be going down to Sussex to spend the weekend with her and Dad and keep them company.

Oh somewhere I should have said earlier, I too have bought Jamie's 15 minute book now, what have you started!

Hpbp Thu 15-Nov-12 19:37:29

Riverside, hope your mum feels better soon.
Knotty, one month to go, hey ! Enjoy these weeks. Are you getting everything ready ?
Knicky, you made me laugh, i have never had such beautiful breast than during pg, starting now to lose them a bit although still BF
Agree with Seaside, sleep and get prepared as much as you can before baby arrives.
Good luck to every one, still following your journeys.
Hugs to all

eagleray Thu 15-Nov-12 19:55:48

Very sorry your mum has been so ill Riverside - I hope she gets her operation asap. Glad the baby is providing you with some distraction - I usually have some time belly prodding when I get home from work (and normally throw in some daft one-sided conversation as well)

Regarding the size comments, I have had the 'neat bump' comments as well, and also been told I look well and look tired on the same day! I think part of it is because I work in a huge building with several thousand people and so the chances of striking up a conversation with someone is pretty high. Interesting, the men all keep their mouths shut and when pressed have said they value their lives too much to even try making personal comments!

Last night when I was in the shower, my feet felt a bit weird, so craned my neck and looked downwards and was really shocked at how swollen they were! It seems to have come on in the last couple of days and is troubling me a bit as not actually sure if it is normal or a sign of anything (still a bit paranoid after the protein in wee thing a couple of weeks ago). Luckily I have joint consultant appt tomorrow so will dump all my fears and concerns on them when I arrive! Meanwhile, I have been trying to keep my feet up while sat at my desk today - basically went round the office and stole whatever objects I could to build a tower high enough to rest my legs on and raise my feet as high as possible - was daring people to laugh at me...

Knicky - your weight gain sounds pretty good/normal. I have given up weighing myself as don't really feel there's much I can do about it. I know I am bigger, but aside from the bump,everything seems to be a different shape to just being fat, if you know what I mean? I think the fat must cling in a different way when you are pregnant!

Great to hear from you Seaside - do you mean we should sleep while we can now? I am struggling with that at the moment, and will no doubt regret this come January!

Somewhere - good luck for your scan tomorrow! How exciting finding out the sex too!

Scarecrow - I have no personal experience of VBAC but a close friend had once after EMCS with DC1. She managed on gas and air and was so happy with the experience she wanted to do it all over again afterwards (nothing to do with the hot young junior doctor who was in attendance I am sure...)

scarecrow22 Fri 16-Nov-12 08:25:55

Ah now, if they throw in a hot young (ish) doctor will be defo up for VBAC effort. Can I make this a condition? Is it in the NHS charter?

Though it does occur to me that I will not be at my most lush pushing a small football out of ... Well you know ;)

Perhaps I'll save the hot middle aged doctor (my taste defo not for boys anymore) for a foot op or something

Ahh a nice thought for the day smile

somewherebecomingrain Fri 16-Nov-12 11:51:53

Just had scan - all went well, it's 90% a girl!

Must admit I'm beyond pleased. Apart from anything else, it might sleep better.

riverside so sorry about your mum. Wishing you strength.

scarecrow hope your MS is easing. it might mean its a girl....?

interesting this whole new angle on VBAC - get a sexy bloke to stand in the room????

no seriously, VBAC clinic - never heard of it - scarecrow you're good with the new and the leading edge. i will look into it though prob gonna just go for c-section.

knicky re bosoms I am totally on the same page - mine are breaking out of my J-cups. I am quite disgusted with them. They are literally gross in the sense of very large. I am sick of it. I do console myself with the thought that about a stone of my weight is accounted for by totally excess and unecessary bosom - i could still have quite large ones if you took a stone off them. Maybe not but it's a comforting thought.


somewherebecomingrain Fri 16-Nov-12 11:52:08

SHE might sleep better!

Midgetm Fri 16-Nov-12 11:58:45

eagle get that swelling checked pronto (runs off to bathe my poor fanjo)

scarecrow22 Fri 16-Nov-12 13:05:51

somewhere I'm so so thrilled for you. SOOO much. I always wanted a tribe of boys but DD is totally delightful and a real little buddy already. I went for a run (ok slow jog!) this morn and after an hour away from her felt a pit of excitement into belly when I got close to seeing her again. Plus she was an idyllic Feeder, sleeper, self-entertainer. Apart from the 5-6 am waking thing (solved finally with Gro-Clock and changing time heating came on!) she was dream baby. Just close your ears and bleat la-la-la when I come back tomorrow to sound off about the latest toddler outburst!!
Anyway, sure boys are fab, and will be delighted if I have one. But hope you will love having a girl as much as I do smile

Sorry everyone else, she set me off on my aster mind special subject. And I happily confess to being totally ott!

Rudely forgotten who has swollen feet - do hope it's okay but glad you are getting it checked. Take care x

scarecrow22 Fri 16-Nov-12 13:08:14

PS VBAC = vaginal birth after cs. My hospital books you in for advice clinic to encourage you to try, but not (very very) pressurised. Maybe a little, but nothing I can't handle ;)

eagleray Fri 16-Nov-12 20:11:19

oh fantastic Somewhere - another girl to swell the numbers!! (they seem to be terribly under-represented on this thread). I have to admit I cried with relief when I found out I was having a girl (although up until then felt I would have been happy with either) as the male members of my family seem to be struggle with life a bit (I have some theories about the genes!)

Scarecrow - that's so sweet you were excited about seeing DD again after your run (well done on the run by the way - attempted it once at 16 weeks and decided never again). My mum describes me as similar as a baby in terms of feeding, sleeping etc (sister was a nightmare though apparently) so I am hoping I get same!

Was me with the fatty feet - had my joint consultant appt today and mentioned it, but no concerns as BP and urine are totally normal. Funnily enough, the MW said that an episode of Downton Abbey recently featured pre-ecclampsia and they had 30 calls the next day from women who feared they had it! The power of telly eh...

eagleray Fri 16-Nov-12 20:13:26

By the way, doing a hypnobirthing course tomorrow - will report back on learnings...

knottyhair Sat 17-Nov-12 07:14:11

Knicky, grin at your enormous whammers! Bytheseaside, lovely to hear from you & Hpbp. I'm almost ready here, just need to get the Moses basket up now I've washed the covers, and finish sorting my hospital bag. Just hope she hangs on in there until 17th... Scarecrow, hope your nausea eases soon. Riverside, hope your mum remains in good spirits and gets her transfer date soon, thinking of you x Eagle, glad your consultant appt went well and good to get normal results for BP & urine smile. Somewhere, yay, welcome to team pink! I must admit I was a bit shell-shocked when we found out we were having a girl, I had sort of wanted another boy as I felt I "knew" boys, but it's nice now to think we'll have one of each and I can still call my DS my "special boy" smile. Bless him, he's just got up and he still insists at 8 yrs old on snuggling on my lap for a big cuddle even though he comes up to my chin already and his long skinny legs hang off me! No plans for today although might try to fit in some Christmas wrapping and I have a mahoosive shoulder of lamb to bung in the oven this afternoon. Tomorrow we're doing a dry run to the hospital - we live in the county town but in their "wisdom", they've moved maternity services to a much smaller town 30-40 mins away down country lanes and we've not been before. Am reliably informed there is a John Lewis Home nearby so may squeeze in afternoon tea in their cafe as well! Hope you all have a lovely weekend xx

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 10:37:17

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me gatecrashing for a moment! I'm not actually pregnant (yet?!), so I don't really belong on this thread! I have been lurking here for a few weeks, and it's amazing to see how much support you ladies all give each other. I just have a question- how long did it take you to conceive? I have just turned 41, and got the dreaded AF this morning. We will be on the 9th cycle now, and I am losing hope. DH sperm test is normal, and I have had an internal scan which was normal. We have a DS aged14 and a DD aged 13. I had a MC at 7 weeks last year after an unplanned pregnancy, and it's sods law that when you want to conceive again it doesn't happen!! It's heartbreaking every month. Maybe I'm just past it. Sorry for the moan ( and gatecrashing) I'm looking for a shred of hope!!! Thankyou for reading this! Xxx

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 10:52:32

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me gatecrashing for a moment! I'm not actually pregnant (yet?!), so I don't really belong on this thread! I have been lurking here for a few weeks, and it's amazing to see how much support you ladies all give each other. I just have a question- how long did it take you to conceive? I have just turned 41, and got the dreaded AF this morning. We will be on the 9th cycle now, and I am losing hope. DH sperm test is normal, and I have had an internal scan which was normal. We have a DS aged14 and a DD aged 13. I had a MC at 7 weeks last year after an unplanned pregnancy, and it's sods law that when you want to conceive again it doesn't happen!! It's heartbreaking every month. Maybe I'm just past it. Sorry for the moan ( and gatecrashing) I'm looking for a shred of hope!!! Thankyou for reading this! Xxx

eagleray Sun 18-Nov-12 11:08:47

Hi Downton - don't worry - I lurked here for a while myself before becoming pregnant. You are right - the support here is just amazing - and I think most of my pregnancy/baby knowledge has come from this thread!

I really sympathise with you regarding trying to conceive. I started TTC last year aged 40, had an early MC at the end of the year, then started trying again. At 6 month point, we had tests as a precursor for referral to fertility clinic, but same month I left my job and same day DP and I skipped off to a tropical island and, erm, conceived a baby. I was ever so shocked as had really given up by that point.

So, the short answer to your question is - conceived first time after a couple of months, then second time after 6 months. I guess the only other thing worth mentioning is that we did take a tube of Conceive Plus on holiday with us - no idea if that did the trick, but doesn't seem to have done any harm...

I definitely don't think you are past it - us ladies here stand as testament to that! However, egg quality is an issue as you get older. I have heard good things about Chinese medicine - apparently has a higher success rate than ivf in older women. I don't have any personal experience of it, but it worked for a 40 year old friend who had been TTC for 5 years and I just read an article on it recently.

There is also a 40+ conception thread on here somewhere which has helped a lot of women (some of the other posters here will probably be able to give you a link).

Good luck and hope to see you on this thread with good news soon smile

Hpbp Sun 18-Nov-12 11:09:04

Quickdowntonson, don't give up hope, both of you seem to be in good health, there should not be any medical reason for you not to conceive, you might just need some help to pinpoint your ovulation day and get all the chances on your side. Ovulation test ? Cycle monitoring ? I had 2 MC before my first pg. I am 41 now and just had a little girl, 16 weeks ago. There are lots of us, above 40, firstimers or not. You will find on this thread support, laugh, moan and many more. Hope you will join soon.

Knotty, oh, That s so sweet , I really really hope my DS will grow up like yours, still giving cuddles at 8yo. My little man is only 4 yo but sometimes goes : hummm I don't want kisses anymore.... NOOOOO, I want to be able to kiss and cuddle him until he is .... I don't know.... 50 !?

Eagle, how are the feet ? How was hypnobirthing thing ?

So rainy today in Paris. Will spend the day sorting stuff, need to get ready for packing in 2 weeks and back to London !!!

scarecrow22 Sun 18-Nov-12 13:03:19

quick welcome and if you jilt is for a conception thread the please come back and update us. I am on DC 2 but had DD at 40, so as hP says lots of hope on here.
Other good thing about being older is you've seen all sorts of experiences. And the vast majority are positive. I won't lie, one friend has not been able to have DC, but so many more have succeeded, even after they have given up hope. On friend has spent 8 years conceiving 2 children. Another took so long to get pregnant that, thinking it might happen again, had second DC barely a year after 1st. So keep hoping, but don't stop enjoying your DC and DP - if you are more relaxed and appreciating what you have, it's more likely to happen. I know easier said than done, but at least talk sense to yourself occasionally and some might drop in. It's never worked for me, but worth a try ;)

Eagle how was hypno- birthing? I tried to listen to CD last time but just kept falling asleep! A class or course more sensible. I did yoga last time and it almost became my fave hour of the week. Plus breathing exercises were really genuinely helpful when I had trapped wind a little discomfort after CS.

Off to nap and then put lamb in oven. DH has flu. I think real flu but he has been so supersonically unsympathetic about MS etc I find myself nothing but irritated, ESP as he only took to his bed after he did some fun lads thing yesterday, and I'm hugely behind with work and feeling sick with worry that can't spend today catching up. <need to be nicer human being>

scarecrow22 Sun 18-Nov-12 13:07:49

HP DD only kissed me once ever (daddy gets lots of kisses). I console myself that I am always the one she wants when she wakes at 5am. Though an evil corner of my brain has suggested this is not a great deal ;)

Also what is cutest thing your DCs said when learning to talk? DD says "duddles" for bubbles, and I want to (literally) eat her every time it is so cute!

eagleray Sun 18-Nov-12 17:03:24

Sensible advice from Scarecrow and HPBP for Downton - you are right Scarecrow about relaxing although clearly it is impossible when you are in that situation - I felt utterly frantic and DP felt pressurised and so lots of arguments as a result. I think that the holiday worked as a distraction - the issues hadn't gone away but we were so busy swimming with eagle rays and the like we kind of lost ourselves.

The hypnobirthing course was great! Back next week week for second part of course. Was supposed to be group course, but DP and I were only ones booked, so it was more of a one-to-one session. It was a mix of reading through facts/info and asking questions, plus some time lying on the floor doing visualisations and being sent into a deep state of relaxation by the teacher. DP behaved himself and was quite enthusiastic (what's not to love about lying on the floor) although at one point started trying to telling the teacher that he thought that having a baby was a bit like doing a big poo (managed to do my stern look and shut him up)

Feet don't seem so swollen at the moment - trying to keep feet elevated as much as possible as am a bit worried about not being able to get my shoes on!

Scarecrow - don't blame you for your zero-sympathy stance with your DP - I would be the same!

Knotty - hope your hospital/John Lewis trip went well

HPBP - is that you coming back to the UK for xmas or for a shorter trip? We have escaped the rain today but I think there is plenty of it during the next week...

riversidelibrary Sun 18-Nov-12 18:37:57

Hi downton, it took 16 months of trying for us to conceive, started when I was still 40 and will be 42 whe DC1 arrives in January. We were very pessimistic of our chances though, and other than guestimating ovulation using morning temperature we didn't do anything else to improve our chances. So you never know!

eagleray do keep updating on the hypnotherapy, I'm very interested. Waiting for my natal therapy CD to arrive from amazon.

scarecrow I hope your MS lets up very soon, it's so tiring and endless, keeping my fingers crossed for you.

AFM I've been down with my Dad visiting Mum in hospital all weekend. She ok but weak, still waiting for a date for the triple bypass, hopefully this week. Just trying to stay positive.

Had an antenatal appt on Friday morning, all ok but DS measuring a little big. When they plot him on the graph he's above the maximum line!

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 19:23:26

Thanks so much to HPBP, Scarecrow, Eagleray and Riversidelibrary for all your wise words. I agree, I think I can sometimes forget to appreciate what i've got, and I should be happy I have 2 healthy DC already. It does seem a bit odd to want a third so badly now, but I suppose you can't help how you feel. Its the biological clock clanging I suspect! I've just bought a CBFM so that should help maximise the chances, and I guess it should just happen sooner or later! I think the tropical island idea sounds just the ticket - is it on the NHS? Anyway, thanks again ladies, and I hope to be posting (legitimately!) on here very soon.x

quickdowntonson Sun 18-Nov-12 22:39:06

Er.. the NHS thing was a joke, right?! x

MrsWooster Sun 18-Nov-12 22:46:50

Hi Somewhere - another girl - congratulations! Scary and fab and, like Knotty said, a relief in many ways for me...

eagleray Sun 18-Nov-12 22:50:04

Funnily enough, when I went to see my GP after getting the BFP, I showed her a photo of the island and asked her if they could put it on prescription as it had cost way less (and been more fun) than all the tests we were having!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 19-Nov-12 10:08:55

Eagle that is SUCH a lovely story. It's like a novel.

Mrs Wooster girl for u as well?

I just want it to be over now! So bored of being PG.


RebeccaJames Mon 19-Nov-12 12:20:27

Hello all you blooming ladies. Newly pregnant and 40, I thought I would introduce myself properly on the 40+ thread.

So it's true what they say! We were trying for a baby for nearly three years, after having our son in 2008. We were investigated to the full spectrum of tests, and there was no problem found, so we were written up as having 'unexplained infertility'. I was so focused on it, and it was making me very unhappy. So I decided that that ship had sailed, that I was lucky to have one child, and it was OK and it wasn't going to define my life any longer. I joined WeightWatchers, lost 9lbs, starting thinking about what I would do when DS goes to school next year, and that, of course, is when it happened.

I'm 8 weeks, and quite anxious about the miscarriage risk at my age, and the birth defects, etc. (we lost one to Edward's Syndrome in 2007), but happy to be PG and blithely trying to ignore all the things that could go wrong!

I hope I can post helpfully on here, and give and receive support. I wish all of you well with your bumps and babies...