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Pregnancy

Feeling alone

8 replies

upturnj · 01/07/2010 15:00

Hi, I am 16 weeks pregnant with my second child and am thrilled about this after having 2 miscarriages in the last year. I feel very alone at the moment and cry nearly everyday. I cry for the babies I've lost, I cry because my DP and I are not getting on very well and I cry because I feel I look after everyone else and have no one to look after me.

I feel disapointed that all DP wants to do is play games on his phone or watch the TV. My 18month old is waking at 530am each day and I have to get up and look after him whilst DP lies in. We never go to bed at the same time (I go early and DP sits and watches the TV for another two hours each night because 'he needs to chill out') and I just feel like screaming. We both work full time and DP does very little around the home.

I also have a terrible cough and cold at the moment which is probably making me feel even worse. Am I alone in how I'm feeling?

Thank you for reading.

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japhrimel · 01/07/2010 15:01

Wow, if you're both working full-time, then your OH has no excuse! Now you're pregnant, your OH needs to be doing more IMO, such as getting up with your LO so you get more rest (you need extra right now, he doesn't!).

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cardamomginger · 01/07/2010 15:02

BIG HUG XXXXX

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Ryuk · 01/07/2010 15:12

Have you talked to your partner about this? He really does have no excuse and it would be perfectly reasonable to insist that he puts some effort into looking after you and the LO for a change! Try to get some rest and feel free to keep venting on here. Hope you feel better soon upturnj.

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upturnj · 01/07/2010 16:59

Thank you all for your responses. Ryuk yes I've tried talking to DP many times about doing more and the answer is always "just ask me" but I always have to ask 3 or 4 times and sometimes it would just be nice for him to do things without me having to ask i.e. washing up, mowing the lawn etc Do you think I'm being unreasonable? I wouldn't consider myself to be at all high maintenance but I'm feeling so low at the moment I'm not sure what sort of person I am being. I sound like such a miserable cow! I just need to get a grip and talk things through with him properly tonight.

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EMS23 · 02/07/2010 08:57

upturnj, how are you feeling today? Did you get a chance to speak to your DH?

It sounds like you're doing too much and could do with a rest, even if it's just a rest from the washing up. You're not being unreasonable at all and don't sound high maintenance. You sound tired and very reasonable.

I would also suggest you speak to your midwife or GP about how you're feeling, they might be able to help or offer some advice and if it does boil down to your DH needing to help more, he might be more inclined if it's come from a professional.
XXX

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yellowflowers · 02/07/2010 10:24

So sorry sounds horrid. I agree you should talk to doctor about it - they will also be able to point you in direction of support groups. Do you have close friends or family you can talk to as well? It's an emotional time at the best of times.

x

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upturnj · 02/07/2010 13:56

Thank you for your replies. EMS23 and yellowflowers I'm seeing my midwife next week and hadn't thought about support groups till you mentioned it and I think it would be a good idea. I know I need to talk through my m/c's with someone and I think they are the root of my problems. DP and I rarely mention them and when we have, he said it was probably my drinking (before I know I had become pregnant) that caused them. I can't bare to let myself become so upset about these again with him so a support group sounds the best answer.
I do have a few close friends but have felt let down in the past and now I'm of the opinion of not trusting anyone then I won't put myself in the position of feeling let down. I sound horridly down and your replies have really helped me in believeing I have other options of getting over how I'm feeling. I did speak to DP last night but I still don't think he truely understands how I'm feeling. Thank you again ladies

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PixieCake · 02/07/2010 14:56

Poor you. Please don't believe what your DP says about your drinking having caused the MCs. You have enough on your plate without unfounded guilt and it is very common to drink before you realise you were pregnant (I did too).
Don't give up talking to DP - say it as many times as you need to get the message across. You are in this together and he needs to turn off the TV and do his share.
Good luck with the support group x

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