help!newly pregnant and still breastfeeding

[eth37]

My DS is 7 months and feeds A LOT, sometimes every 2 hours in the night still (it's become a bad habit and his way of getting to sleep) and rarely longer than 4 hours in the day. He doesn't eat massive amounts of solids yet. Anyway, I haven't had a period since he was born, rarely actually manage to have sex, and took a while to conceive DS. SOMEHOW I am pregnant... Only about 4 weeks I think, but still. I am too embarrassed to go to the gp as there will be a 16 month age gap and I don't want a lecture about how BFing is not an effective form of contraception (which I now realise...) but don't know what to do about BFing! I am back at work soon and have been trying to wean him (in vain) so I only feed him at night and first thing. This is not working as he is not keen on bottles/cups etc. Sooooo, does BFing pose any threat to the pregnancy? Will my milk change etc? Have others got experience they can share?! Please!! And be gentle....I am still in shock and feeling very strange about it to be honest.... Thank you.

[RobynLou]

bfing poses no threat at all to your pregnancy.

Your milk will at some point change to colostrum. It may dry up, but as you are feeding DS regularly still I think that's less likely than someone who's feeding an older child.

My DD is 3 in August and still bf, but only occasionally, she's not at all reliant on it anymore, so it's a very different situation.

Until they're 1 milk should be the main source of LOs nuitrition - solids are just complimentary at this point, so if I were you I would persist in getting him to take a cup of milk - doesn't have to be a bottle - a tomee tippee type thing could be fine, so as you have something to fall back on in case your supply does go down.

[eth37]

Thank you RobynLou. Yes, I am persisting, and, randomly enough, he had 50ml of formula straight from the carton?!? He occasionally has sips from his doidy too but not really anything else, as of yet. He also prefers formula cold - I think he sees it as a different drink from my milk and he tends to get upset if I try to give him warm formula. It is good to know it doesn't threaten pregnancy. Why do so many GPs tell you to wean? Is that for the sake of the mother's health?

[RobynLou]

I honestly don't know - I was actually encouraged not to by the GP and HV!

If you have a history of pre-term births then I think it can be a problem, but otherwise it's just not, your body will prioritise the baby you're carrying and then the baby you're feeding, then you get what nutritions left though.... so do make sure you're eating lots of good healthy food!

[japhrimel]

You may need to wean before the end of the pregnancy as your milk may dry up. But if it's okay now, I'd just work on getting your LO weaned as soon as you practically can.

And make sure you take a pregnancy multi-supplement and get plenty of nutritious food - I think the advice to not breastfeed when pregnant is partly down to how much nutrients you need for both, so it's a lot easier to get deficient in something.

[5DollarShake]

I was still breastfeeding when I got pregnant with DD-to-be (planned) - DS1 was 9 months old, and it never even occurred to me that the GP or midwife might judge me for not using contraception!! I meant, we weren't, but that's because we were trying to get pregnant. Don't worry for a second about what they think.

I was not told to wean DS off the breast at any point. Why do you say that so many tell you to do so? You can breastfeed right through pregnancy and continue to breastfeed a toddler and a newborn perfectly safely.

I do agree though, that it probably makes sense to keep trying a bottle or a cup with your DS, just in case. It might take days and days of trying, but what often happens is that after consistently rejecting it, one day they will just grab the bottle or cup and go for it. So every day you're offering it will be another day's 'practice' (even if it doesn't seem like it) for your DS getting used to the alternative method.

[RobynLou]

It does ultimately depend on how you feel about tandem feeding - even if your milk dries up for a short time your lo might continue to want to 'feed' then when your milk comes in again they could go back to just being bf....

the problem is there's no hard and fast answer as to what will happen when!

there's a great book called 'adventures in tandem nursing' which might help you decide what to do

[eth37]

Thank you for your replies, really helpful. I would happily tandem feed. I suppose I was worried that the hormones which reduce fertility when breastfeeding, ie reduced progesterone, would mean that miscarriage was more likely. I read that vitamin B6 helps your body to make more progesterone and wondered if I should be taking that.
I do attempt the cup/bottle every day with DS, sometimes he is more willing than others.
Ironically, there was a period of about 6 weeks where he would ONLY have a bottle, and I spent my life frantically expressing every feed!
I think I will wait a week then go to the Dr and see what they say. Thank you for all your advice.

[happynappies]

Hi - am 7 months pg and still bf, although my ds is a bit older (15 months now). I was bf when I became pg with him, but my dd self-weaned when I was about 3 months pg. I sort of expected ds to do the same, but he shows no signs of stopping at the moment. I went to a LL meeting to ask other people about this, because I was really unsure about how to cope with the sheer tiredness tbh. It can be quite exhausting, not to mention painful at times. I think all you can do is see how it goes, and if you feel like 'encouraging' gradual weaning you can, or if you prefer to carry on and see what happens you can do that too. Mw has been quite supportive of me, but the longer it has gone on the more my family and friends seem to think I'm crazy, but hey ho! Good luck whatever you choose to do!

[eth37]

Thanks HappyNappies. I had never really thought about it tbh, having not expected to conceive, but it's good to know it's possible. I would also like to keep going as I will be going back to work soon, and want to minimise the changes for DS, especially at night-time.
BTW, how have you found the age gap? We will have a 16 month age gap which seems terrifyingly small to me....

[StealthPolarBear]

congratulations!
While my experience is very different (DS is 3 and DD is 9 months) I don't think there's any need to wean at all, unless you want to

[mamasunshine]

I fell pg when exbf and continued to bf throughout pg and tandem fed for 2 months. I had a 15 month age gap. Poses no threat to pg. Don't worry about the gap, it's great Obviously it's hard at times, but you quickly get used to it and it seems to be harder for a month/so then ease for a month/so etc (no idea why?!) The connection between my 2 is worth every ounce of the work! Mine are now 2.3 and 1, 12 wks pg with no 3 so obvioulsy the small gap hasn't finished me off!! Oh and I'm still bf dc2 Good luck, it's fab!

[rockinghertosleep]

Have a look at kellymom website for lots of good info on breastfeeding whilst pregnant/tandem feeding! Good luck

[DomesticG0ddess]

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say not to be embarrassed about going to GP at all - loads of people have small gaps between children and there is no reason to even suggest to the GP that this was not planned! Congratulations!

[Esme01]

I was in exactly the same position as you. Got pregnant when boy was 8 months, not planned. Shocked embarassed and upset. Found out the week I went back to work. Looking back on it, it was the best thing that ever happened. So please dont spoil your pregnancy and start enjoying it as soon as you can!! It will be hard work but worth it when they are so close in age.
I was still breastfeeding no probs when pregnant and working. My main focus had been getting him onto bottle in the day for me going back to work. The health visitor said to me cows milk would be fine at that stage (8 months) He fed morning and evening from me and there were no issues with milk drying up. He came off about 13-14 months in the end on his own accord. I have heard that period/pregnancy hormones can change the taste of the milk and that can put them off. Didn't sewem to bother mine though. Good luck and congratulations

[Caz10]

Congratulations! Unless you have you have a very BF-savvy GP can I suggest that you get BF advice from one of the breastfeeding helplines? I would hate for your GP to talk you out of tandem feeding etc, or for them to push you to wean your 1st DC sooner than you'd like, which I know my GP would certainly do in these circumstances, grrr!

[eth37]

Thank you so much everyone for your brilliant advice. The kellymom advice is very helpful too.
Esme01, that is exactly how I feel! And I woke up feeling queasy this morning, and thought 'how on earth can I go through 9 months of pregnancy and still be a good mum to my (handful) DS?' And pregnancy's the easy bit! Also need to remember that DS will be totally different by MArch, he changes so much each week at the minute.
I'm not going to go to the GP for a while...

[knackered76]

My friend was is the same position as you, although her DS was only 4 months old when she found out! She eventually gave up breastfeeding purely as it was making her soooooooo tired and apparently the flavour changes as well . You will be fine, the thought of 2 close together is often worse then the reality (mine are 20 months apart)

[elk4baby]

A friend of mine had a 22 month gap and was still bf DC1 when she fell pregnant again. She ended up weaning by the third month of pregnancy, not because she wanted to but because her milk changed!
I'm not sure if it's a known fact or not (if those who tandem fed can help me out here, plz!?), but her DD started to have very loose stools, almost diarrhea. She'd tried everything (from ruling out raw fruit&veg to seeing the doc), but nothing helped until she weaned.
Has this happened to anyone else who still b-fed while pregnant?!

[RobynLou]

when your colostrum comes in it can have a laxative effect on the baby/toddler, but from what I've heard that doesn't usually last long.
and knackered apparently the flavour does change - it becomes more salty when the colostrum arrives.

[Jane054848]

Hiya,
My doctor advised me to stop breastfeeding when I was pregnant but she had no idea why! The kellymom site seemed much better informed to me and I decided it was fine.

But about 4 months in, my 15 month old started saying, "No, I don't want to" when I offered him his feed. I guess the flavour had changed, or he was finding it difficult to get enough out (there were a few weeks of pretty brutal nipple chewing beforehand). From my experience I'd say just carry on - my sis did tandem feeding for 9 months, and if your first one does stop of his own accord during pregnancy that is a blissfully easy way to wean.

[Cyd4]

I was also advised by my gp to give up bf when I found out I was pg due to the 'physiological strains' that bf would put on me. DD was 10 months when I found out and was on 3 feeds a day. I was gutted and investigated further, and eventually spoke to a senior ob for advice and was told to carry on, it was absolutely fine. He said to be sure to take a good multivitamin, be sure to consume 1200mg of dairy (harder than sounds!) a day and loads of iron rich foods.

I had my bloods done at 12 weeks and my iron levels were absolutely fine, to my relief.

I did read somewhere that preg whilst bf can be riskier due to hormonal changes and contracting uterus etc. The ob also poo poo'd that idea...

Congratulations! There will be 18 months between my two and whilst I am expecting it to be knackering, after the first year or so they should play together nicely so I can put my feet up! Well, that is the hope, anyway.

[Esme01]

Another nice thing about having them so close is the weight will just drop off you. Mine were 17 months apart. The oldest is a very active boy. Always on the go. Between breast feeding and running round after number 1 I could easily lose a pound a day. I literally had to stuff my face to keep the weight up. The silver lining??????????