Hi, I'm new by the way. Not sure if I should have introduced myself initially, have just been commenting on random threads... hope nobody minds.
Anyway, I'm about 10 weeks pregnant. Haven't had my scan yet so aren't sure exactly. The baby was planned, and was very much considered and discussed with my partner before we committed to me going off the pill. We both have jobs that are low-income but sufficient to get by on, and have a lot of support from friends and family. I'm 23.
I'm on fairly good terms with my ex, and he got in contact recently about the pregnancy. Initially it was just a comment (he said he hoped it was planned), but I've just had an online conversation with him that got rather long and unpleasant. He kept saying that I'm too young, my position is 'fragile' because my relationship will have a high risk of breaking up (we've been together for a year, I know that's short by some standards but it feels like long enough to make a commitment based on), and 'single mothers are a turnoff' so I'll not be able to find another relationship.
He also said I should have 'gotten onto the career ladder' first as it's easier to get a career, then have children and then go back into work than to start a career already a parent (no idea how he worked that one out). So apparently my partner will leave me, I'll want sole custody (I did say that if we did break up, we'd share childcare, but he didn't believe me), and then will be a single mum on benefits and will be poor and miserable for the rest of my life. Apparently. Also he said he's not trying to argue that I shouldn't have the baby, he's just 'concerned'. (Also said that 'most people' wait until they're older and have a career and more relationship years behind them, and that 'most people' would see me as a cause for concern rather than congratulations.)
I know he sounds like a really bitter ex, and I should ignore him. I'm just disappointed because I thought we'd patched things up, and I'm not sure why he's being so full of doom. And it's made me feel awful even though I know it shouldn't.
Help?
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Pregnancy
Slating from ex - feel bad now.
12 replies
Ryuk · 17/06/2010 20:21
OP posts:
jjkm ·
17/06/2010 21:16
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