Is anyone else struggling with changing body shape and weight gain?

[emmyloo2]

I am having a really bad day....

I am only 19 weeks but already don't fit into any of my normal trousers. My boobs have got much bigger and my waist has all but disappeared. And my stomach has lost any definition it had. I used to be so fit and watched what I ate. Now I feel like a big fat cow. I haven't put an enormous amount of weight but none of my clothes fit the same and I just feel yuk. Plus I am still feeling nauseaus in the afternoons after I have eaten lunch and am sitting at my desk.

I know I shouldn't worry about my body changing because I am pregnant but it doesn't make me feel much better. I just feel horrible in my own body.

Can anyone relate or does everyone else just go with the flow and not worry about it?

Would love some advice!

[angelihelen]

Hi Emmyloo2...this is my first mumsnet post...ooh exciting!

I am 21 weeks and feel like a great big whale so I can relate to what you're saying! I'm probably not THAT big but it's a whole new experience not helped with everyone wanting to comment on my size, which is the big beef for me! "Ooh aren't you getting big?" Know I shouldn't care but I do! First pregnancy, was not a skinny girl to start with, but not huge either, and now I cannot help but think am never going to fit into a size 14 (my usual size) again as I'm rubbish at losing weight.

Do think the fact that you feel yuk may be making you feel worse about it though. I am starting to feel better after 15 weeks of horrible nausea and do feel more human now.

Hope you get to the stage where you just accept that this is the way it's going to be, your body is doing the job it's sposed to and this is perfectly natural, feelings and all.

Easier said than done sometimes!

[emmyloo2]

Thanks angelihelen.

It is definitely a day-by-day thing for me. This afternoon my nauseau has been bad, depsite the fact I am now almost 19 weeks. It is the afternoons which are the worst. The bloating makes it worse as well.

I have always been very weight conscious and so this is really hard for me to deal with. I am getting better but it's tough to go from being in control of your weight and body and eating well to suddenly having cravings for potato crisps and not being able to exercise as much. Watching my weight increase and my body change without having much control is the tough part.

Thanks for responding!

[starshaker]

Im having the opposite problem. im huge, im preg with twins (29 weeks) and have only put on 5lbs. I was in maternity clothes by 9 weeks. Have to say i do totally love my bump though. If it makes you feel any better im still being sick (not very often now though)

[angelihelen]

I think I've jinxed myself, am coming out in nausea as we speak in sympathy for you both...

Oh and the bloating...oh the bloating...If I was a balloon I'd pop me with a pin.

[emmyloo2]

The bloating is the worst. Hence I have to wear my tights really low because I can't stand anything around my stomach.

[LittleMissSnowShine]

Feel your pain emmyloo!! I'm 30 weeks, and I like my bump, the feel of the baby kicking, my hair is lovely and shiny, I haven't put on a lot of extra weight and I have no stretch marks.

BUT - I've had outbreaks on the skin on my back and shoulders the whole way through, my boobs are veiny and my shoulders and feet are really puffy so I have to wear flat sandals ALL the time. And when it comes to tidying up my bikini line or painting my toe nails - the words 'impossible' and 'challenge' come to mind.

Oh well, less than 10 weeks to go!!

[Cosmosis]

Yes I really did! I have always been skinny and fit ( am a cyclist and do events and races and stuff) so when I was changing shape but didn?t have an actually bump, I really struggled with it. OH had to keep reminding me it wasn?t fat, it was baby related etc. I struggled with the fact I?d put on over a stone in weight as well.

Now I?m 30 weeks and I have a real bump, I?m a lot happier with it ? especially as it?s clear I?ve not put on weight anywhere else, I still look the same from the back. I?ve stopped weighing myself now and I don?t care any more ? I?m still active and there is still no fat on me, I?m just bump and bigger boobs and that?s fine.

I promise, you?ll get past the feeling unattractive thick waisted stage you?re in at the moment!

[ChunkyPickle]

Argh, yes the bloating.... Now, I'm a larger lady, but I ended up buying size 24 jeans in my first trimester - which were still tight on my thighs - because I'd ballooned up to a huge size.

I don't know what people thought of me as we hadn't told anyone I was pregnant, it was absolutely horrible.

Luckily the bloating slowly went down, and the bump became the right shape, and now I feel strangely proud waddling around with braces holding my jeans up under my bump.

I hope it gets better for you too - you're not alone, it's horrible feeling like you're disappearing into a gelatinous lump.

[emmyloo2]

Thanks everybody!

Cosmomis - you story makes me feel better. I am a runner and was skinny and fit. My husband keeps saying "you are not fat you are pregnant" but I feel fat. Hopefully when I get a proper bump I will feel better. I haven't really gained weight other than on my stomach and waist, but still....

It's the eating as well that worries me. I am not used to snacking between meals and I rarely used to eat junk food. Now I find myself having the odd packet of crisps which makes me feel so guilty because I would have never done that before.

Ugh.

I just keep reminding myself of the lovely little baby I will have at the end of it and I can run myself back into fitness after the birth.

And Littlemiss - yep veiny boobs here and my skin was bad in the first trimester. As for the bikini line and toenails - I pay someone to do these things!! If I am feeling fat and spotty - I least want a decent bikini line and feet. God, how vain do I sound???

[LittleMissSnowShine]

Not vain at all!! I just discovered spray on Veet - it works like spray paint and tidies the bikini line right up, even around a sizeable bump... Perfect!!

I also just bought myself a black, slinky nightie by Hot Milk - half price at the min online so I can feel remotely attractive when getting into bed with DH.

I tell myself it's healthy self esteem and not just being shallow

[Cosmosis]

I have had to really cut down my food intake tbh - I am used to eating for the amount of exercise, and while I am still exercising, it's not exactly the same as it was, I can't go out and do 30 miles off road any more - so I am eating much smaller portions - well, normal sized portions

[Hevster]

Emmyloo2 if it's any consolation I felt exactly like you in my first pregnancy and put on 4 1/2 stone, within 5 months of giving birth I weighed less than I did before I got pregnant and was back to running 10k's on a weekend.

[minipie]

emmyloo

I wonder if the key is to remind yourself that the weight you are gaining/food you are eating is in order to feed the baby?

in other words, you are healthy, the weight is serving a purpose, in fact it would be unhealthy if you weren't putting on any weight.

think of it as "being in training for growing a baby".

we are so conditioned to think that thin is healthy that we forget that that is not true when we are pregnant.

it's the same with babies - babies often have rolls of fat - but that is healthy, because they need the fat to grow with.

[barkfox]

If it's any consolation, I felt more uncomortable and unhappy with how I looked at 19 weeks than I do now at 34 weeks.

Clotheswise, the allegedly blooming second trimester is a bugger because (if you're anything like me), straightforward maternity wear is too big and looks odd, but pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit properly. And I was bulging out of all my nice bras.

Once I was actually bigger, with a proper bump (which was only 28 weeks on, really), then I felt much happier for some reason. I think I felt 'properly' pregnant, rather than just a lardy bulgy rubbish version of Normal.

I also think anything you can do to make yourself feel physically better/happier, whether it's a swimming, meditation or a pedicure and haircut, is worth it - whatever floats your boat.

[aichi]

emmyloo

I totally sympathise with you and I know exactly how you feel just now as I'm feeling or have felt like you in the past.
Before getting pregnant I've always controlled my weight and ate very healthily and went swimming everyday. Skinny and I liked the way I looked. But now, 18 weeks pregnant I've put on 6kg already and feel HUGE! (I was underweight so MW said its fine to put more weight on!!) However people would still say I dont look like I've put weight on...or maybe just being polite!

But like some people commented already I now tell myself its okay to put weight on and its for the healthy baby. If I dont eat properly and snack (I also had a big issue about snacking as I never snacked before) my baby will be hungry and will suffer. I think it helps now that I have a wee bump. I'm also conscious of what I snack and eat so I dont feel guilty.

I keep telling myself that its only a year in your life that you're out of control/weight and I'm sure its worth it!

[CardiCorgi]

Another one here who really understands where you are coming from. Not really helped that while my friends are planning their summer triathlons and bike marathons, I´m getting slower and slower. DH just keeps repeating "it´s not fat, it´s a baby".
I´ve also ordered a maternity short and top set so that I feel a bit more comfortable when out running. It sounds a bit vain, but so what, it makes me feel better.

[estya]

I hope you are right, Barkfox. I am 20 weeks and i don't look or feel pregnant - just very fat, and so i resent whats happening to my body.
I hasn't helped that my already big boobs have grown by 4 cup sizes. So from quite early on, most of my clothes didn't fit my top half. I have to wear baggy things and T shirts a lot, so I don't look attractive. I can't even buy maternity clothes in my old size as they don't fit my boobs.
As my bump gets bigger, it is just balancing out my boobs. I just look like I'm all over big.

I have to say - one thing that has helped is buying belt expander things, and a bump band to go over the top. It nice to be able to wear my normal trousers again. And i think it makes me feel a bit more pregnant (for some reason)

[ReshapeWhileDamp]

I'm 12 weeks and have been really bloated for at least the last month! The bloating ends up at my ribcage, so I do actually look about 5 months pregnant... But my old maternity trousers don't fit yet!

Can you buy smocky tops and summer dresses that fit your boobs and float over your tummy? You won't look tiny (but then you weren't expecting to, were you? You are pregnant! ) but they don't cling so you don't feel so blobby. Works for me, anyway!

I liked being large and pregnant last time round - it was the first time I really felt relaxed with being large (I'm normally a 14/16). It was as if I had a license to be fat!

[estya]

I wasn't expecting to look tiny, but i was expecting to look normal, with a bump. Like pictures of pregnant woman. And like my friends looked.
I can't speak for emmyloo, but there is no way I could wear smocked clothes. My boobs are massive so bringing attention to them would make me look even bigger.

So I have to go up dress sizes and have just got a maternity dress in size 18 (I cut of the label before my husband saw it - not because if the price, but because i was so ashamed of the size)
I just look like a sack of potatoes - with very bad skin. So much for blooming!
And then i feel like a bad person for caring about how i look.

[andierox]

I'm pregnant with my second I have a massive bump but have great skin and my hair is in great condition!!!I have just started to become v proud of it. I too am wearing braces e to hold up my pants I have a few pair of themhave to say - what a Godsend!!! I really love wearing them- why didn't I do it sooner?? :D

[WriterofDreams]

The 18-21 week mark is a tough one I think because you're really starting to show but you don't look pregnant as such, just fat. I'm sure once you get a proper bump you'll feel much better because then you feel like people know you're pregnant and not just a rabid pie-eater!

[Mahraih]

Until it starts to look like a 'proper bump' it does just feel like you're, well, big. Can't exercise either, which sucks.

I'm almost 23 weeks and now its looking like a bump, and it is SO much better!

Also, I think many people who are very slim before birth put on quite a bit of weight in the first trimester. I gained about 7kg (was underweight previously) and have only put on 2kg since then.

Still rejecting maternity clothes though. Empire-line all the way. Makes you look more pregnant and less porky too!

Lastly, nobody is silly for caring about how they look. I know for a fact that if DP suddely got a huge stomach, he'd be panicking!

[Violet5]

This thread has made me feel better

I am 30 weeks with my 6th (and last) and i am massive.

Everyday i get 'are you sure it's not twins' comments of people on the school run, and when i tell people that the babys not due til December people always look shocked.
Then i get the charming comments of ' oh it must be because you have no stomach muscles left after 5' ....lovely,thanks !

My boobs haven't got any bigger though just my belly, my arms, my thighs and my chins...yes chin 'S'.

I've got tons more stretch marks this time, and i can't afford a decent hair cut.

I'm also pretty sure my husband doesn't find me at all attractive this size

I feel really guilty for feeling so bad about how i look, especially as i know theres so many more important things in life.

At least this thread has shown that other mums to be don't all feel glowing and at their best, it's not just me

[DomesticG0ddess]

I am the same as barkfox - I was more concerned earlier on, whereas now, at almost 38 weeks, I am past caring. At the end of the day I have a baby in my body - it's amazing! And I am more concerned with how uncomfortable I am than what I look like, and whether or not I am going to wet myself when I sneeze. Succumbed to size 14 knickers this morning from M&S - they are SO comfy. And am in tracksuit bottoms most of the time too.

I have found it difficult though because I normally watch my shape and exercise a lot. But as it's DC2 and I don't plan anymore, I'll have the rest of my life to get back into shape. Oh, and DH thinks I look amazing - but I think this is because I won't have sex and he is desperate. Violet5, people are so rude aren't they? Are you going to change your name to Violet6 then??

[Violet5]

Ha ha, yes DomesticGoddess i was thinking maybe i should do that once baby gets here, or call myself Violet6andnomore