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Pregnancy

Pregnancy rage?

19 replies

missdt · 06/04/2010 10:13

I am nearly 9 weeks pregnant and I keep getting flashes of rage that I have to work so hard to keep a handle on.

For example yesterday my boyfriend and I were making tea, I had done most of it but I wasn't bothered about that. He sieved the veg and then passed it to me to serve up. I had to stop myself from throwing it on the floor and it was really difficult. I was absolutely furious that he didn't just do it but it was completely out of proportion. Normally I'd make a joke or say something but calmly. He knew something was up but I couldn't trust myself to speak about it.

I think I need to sit him down and tell him what happened. I feel like my moods are causing problems that weren't there before and I feel a bit helpless. Anyone else had this?

OP posts:

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OnlyWantsOne · 06/04/2010 10:18

I think you should go and talk to your MW or GP about this.

But yes, definately talk to your partner.

sunshiney · 06/04/2010 10:18

unfortunately yes! for me it settled down during the second and third trimesters, apart from the very occasional hormone surge causing me mood swings later on.

i came to recognise the feeling of the rage coming on, it was like i wanted to cry and scream all at once. when this happened i would warn dh to basically keep out of my way! he appreciated this and would do just that.

good luck hope it's not too bad for you. the best thing you can do is accept it, it's not your fault and it will pass.

ps. i don't think there's a link between this and post natal depression. there wasn't for me.

DinahRod · 06/04/2010 10:20

Hormones are a bugger.

OzKate · 06/04/2010 10:31

I was dropping some stuff off at Oxfam last week and I overheard a man asking the woman at the counter if he could have some money off of a CD because it was old and the cover was cracked. The lady explained that they didn't really do that, the prices were as marked. Now, I'm thinking the CD in Oxfam was probably what? £3.00, if that? He kept insisting that she should take some money off and asked to speak to someone else in charge.

Well, I don't know whether it was pregnancy hormones or what, but I saw red...I walked out and muttered something about it being a charity shop for godsakes. I never meant for him to hear me of course, much!!

He turned around and said he knew that, and that it was his business.

Something, somewhere deep inside took over and I puffed myself up in the doorway and said that I'd heard everything, someone asking for money off in a charity shop, that he should be ashamed of himself and that if he wasn't embarrassed asking for money off some cheap CD in Oxfam than I was bloody well embarrassed for him!

Cue: flouncing out of shop, leaving several stunned faces behind and one barely whispered "here, here" from a woman in the back somewhere!

I told my husband and he said that I should be more careful keeping my opinions to myself in my 'current condition', he didn't want me getting into trouble. I agree, I think you do need to keep your emotions in check a bit more but you know what...it felt really good!!!

TheArmadillo · 06/04/2010 10:36

I found this gets easier in second/third trimesters as someone else said. Other people find themselves bursting into tears all the time, I find myself wanting to inflict violent pain on them.

I would talk to your boyfriend and come up with a sign where he knows you are ready to explode and then go somewhere quiet and calm down. It can be hard to explain at the time so a pre agreed signal can help.

If you find that you cannot control it then you need to speak to your dr or midwife about other strategies.

missdt · 06/04/2010 10:42

Thank you for the replies. I am seeing MW tomorrow so will mention it. It's not a huge problem and I DO manage to control myself or walk out the room but it's very wearing and upsetting especially as I feel too wound up to talk to my boyfriend and that makes me feel isolated.

sunshiney - thank you for your ps!

ozkate - i read somewhere that the best thing about pregnancy is being able to say what you think and blame it on the hormones if you get into trouble.

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ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 06/04/2010 10:51

I have been like this this time around - I actually broke a lamp a few weeks back I find I have to make sure I am very well rested and fed, even if I don't realise I am hungry, after I eat I feel alot calmer. Have a few pillows in your bedroom to smack and throw - sometimes it's good to let it out, but in the right way.

soozlewoozle · 06/04/2010 11:50

I completely lost my temper with a checkout woman in tesco this morning, for only giving me one bag at once, despite having a trolley load of shopping

FourOfFour · 06/04/2010 12:02

Yes, I do know what you mean. I have only just had a BFP, but am literally an argument looking for somewhere to happen at the moment

Between this and my hormone headache, I must be a barrel of laughs to live with at the moment

RudeEnglishLady · 06/04/2010 12:20

I had a huge problem with 'anger management' for the first 3-4 months. All day morning sickness and not eating just reduced me to a savage. I felt really guilty about how aggressive I was - although once or twice I think the recipient deserved it! ASLD is right, when you can eat plenty it really calms you down. I feel really serene and happy now - I'm almost 6 months. I'm really enjoying my food and also noone I know dares cross me now (only joking).

I think and hope it will pass for you. Best of luck x

kateemo · 06/04/2010 14:53

22 weeks in and I still have unexpected moments of rage. I feel really evil and guilty afterward, especially since my husband is SO patient and understanding. He realises what's happening, and I'm trying to keep myself in check. It's just understandable as long as you admit it's what it is and don't take it any further.

mum2oneloudbaby · 06/04/2010 14:53

You are not alone I am 10 weeks and have just had the weekend from hell and all because of my uncontrollable grumpiness and argumentativeness.

DH, a toddler going through terrible 2s and me in a caravan in a field of mud and rain.

Normally my idea of fun. Not this weekend. How DH is still talking to me I will never know he has the patience of a saint.

I was the same with dd is passes.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 06/04/2010 15:52

Pregnancy rage! Love it!!

Awesome isn't it? Totally OTT feelings of overwhelming anger at thesmallest things.

I thought I was going mental with DS1 - I was like it almost the whole 9 months.

DS2 I was absolutely fine, only very mild occurances.

DS3 I was really chilled. Trekking up hills and being active etc right into 9th month, listening to relaxation CDs. Nothing annoyed me.

This time I am half and half and I HATE it when a rage comes on but there is nothing I can do about it. I can't stop it - whatever it is just irks me beyond explanation and I feel like I'm going to explode. Once it is over I take a few moments to collect myself, do some deep breathing and let it go. Or on a couple of occaisions I have shut myself in the bathroom or bedroom, just for 3-4 mins, that's all I need.

It will go away. I found as soon as I had given birth that was it - no more rages. It is quite horrible and you feel awful.
Tell your OH what you have told us here. I told DH as soon as I realised it only happened when I was preg and was linked and he takes no notice of me now if I go off on one. During my first preg he didn't know where to put his face - poor lamb.

Good luck.

missdt · 07/04/2010 09:25

LadyOfTheFlowers that's exactly it! It doesn't take me long to recover, I just feel really uncomfortable. Anyway I've explained it to OH and he was very understanding and gave me a big hug.

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whirleywoo72 · 07/04/2010 11:06

aww, i know what you mean, i was rather short, and took off on my hubby a few times, over silly stuff, and then burst into tears for no reason. my husband was horrified one morning, we went somewhere and went to mcdonalds for breakfast, half 9 in the morning, and had a go at the girl on the till for not having ice cream on at that time off the morning, i wanted ice cream, and sheepishly walked out, leaving hubby with his mouth open. but now im 16wks im more laid back, and it has past. im so glad, cos i dont usually explode xx

bloomingbex · 08/04/2010 14:19

I've had a few of these rages. I was cleaning the kitchen worktops at the weekend and my DP made a comment about me having missed a bit. I turned around and hurled the cloth at him Good job I wasn't hoovering at the time as I'm not sure I could have thrown that so easily

missdt · 08/04/2010 14:45

So glad it's not just me!

By the way I'm very much in awe of those of you who are pregnant and already have child/ren - I don't know how you do it. I looked after my friend's toddler for a couple of hours yesterday and was exhausted.

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watersprite · 08/04/2010 17:16

Hello Ozkate,

You have made my day with that comment, I couldn't stop laughing. I would of done the same x x

LadyOfTheFlowers · 09/04/2010 15:36

lol missdt

The last week or so I have been thinking to myself 'Er, there are 3 kids here under 5 and there will be another within the next 10 days....' (hopefully)

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