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Pregnancy

Why do people insist in sharing virus and flu?

16 replies

whensmydayoff · 21/11/2009 15:59

Right, shoot me down, call me mad - is it just me????

Im SICK of the following things happening to me.

I am 33 weeks PG with a 2yr old DS.
Friday I met a friend with her kids at a playgroup she suggested. It was really busy and I did spot quite a few mums with seriously ill children. Not the bog standard runny nose but streaming nose, screaming, red, clearly very ill, bad coughs etc.
Im thinking should I be here.
My friend turns up with her kids, tells me they have had a bad cold and cough for 2 weeks, they've been a nightmare. I look at her DD who has an unbelievable red rash/spots clustered on one side of her face, actually fire red and swollen and spread out spots on the other cheek.
She kept coughing and looked ill.
Alarmed, I asked "OMG, what wrong with her". She said "oh I don't know, she just woke up with that this morning" . C,mon, is it just me or would you have proceeded to meet your heavily PG friend in that situation?
I then had two different friends and their kids for lunch today. One friends 2 kids had bad colds and coughs and the others son was "really not himself today, just woke up with temperture and runny nose" he just flopped about on my sofa wimpering and being topped up with calpol.

I had a bad cold (not SF) a month ago and being PG it floored me, I struggled to look after my DS who subsequentley caught it and was pretty ill too. We are just over it and Im relieved I don't feel like staying in bed all day anymore. Incidentley, I cancelled a few things and didn't take him swimming or to usual outings.

I don't know, clearly it seems to be just me.
If my son is really ill (not a common cold, runny nose) and im going somewhere, I either warn first and ask if still ok or if it's really bad I just cancel. I am so in the minority or so it feels.

I just cant imagine doing that to a heavily PG woman right now.
Yes, I am worried about SF, Im too scared to get the vaccine and Im due at the worst possible time, just after xmas and new year.
Maybe Im extra paranoid. I just wondered if im going off my head or if you MN'rs think this was weird behaviour on their behalf?

OP posts:
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JackBauer · 21/11/2009 16:19

YANBU. I haven't seen one of my friends for ages now as she is 8 months pregnant and we have been ill on and off with various things.
I will wanr off friends if DD1 is ill as I hate her catching it of others.
The only time I didn;t mind was when DD1 and her best friend from school both had a temp/virus that was controlled with calpol so we were pretty sure they had the same thing as each other and I her friend and mum came round to play.

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Jacksmama · 21/11/2009 16:22

YANBU. I hate when people do that and tell them off in no uncertain terms. It's inconsiderate to the highest degree.

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Fruitysunshine · 21/11/2009 16:23

YANBU - I am just recovering from swine flu and have not left the house for 6 days. My mums has been looking after my eldest so that it reduces her chances of getting ill and having time off school and my husband has worked from home so that he does not pass on any bug to his colleagues. If I had a pregnant friend I certainly would not be off to meeting her!

It irritates me too. Not everybody's health can take a dose of nasty bug so I find it quite selfish or thoughtless that people still venture out with ill children due to the fact the kids are not at home being looked after and also the fact the germs are being spread.

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JackBauer · 21/11/2009 16:25

Sorry for nonsense post BTW, DD's on lap, can't type properly.
When I ran a playgroup we used to ask mothers to take their kids home if they were obviously ill (one of them threw up, not posseting, toddler sick) Yes it's dull being stuck in with sicks kids, but tough, I'm afraid.

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Tryingtobeorganisedthisyear · 21/11/2009 16:30

YANBU - i feel sorry for these kids being dragged around when they're clearly not well.

It's the same when parents send them into school and they're desperately ill, and passing it to the rest of the class.

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ihearttruffles · 21/11/2009 16:43

I think we've had so much good medicine for so long with the NHS and antibiotics that a lot of people truly just don't think it really matters whether they pass illnesses round. They think the only issue is whether or not their child is well enough to have fun, not whether they ought to keep them at home to protect other people.

I think it's only once you ahve some reason to feel worried about being ill that you 'get it' and actually start properly trying to avoid spreading illnesses you've got.

All the hype about people being 'too clean' probably hasn't helped - there are probably people out there who think they're doing the world a favour by not being too fussy about spreading infection!

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Fruitysunshine · 21/11/2009 16:56

ihearttruffles - surely it is not just about "protecting other people" but more about ensuring you are doing your utmost to bring your child back to fit and healthy?

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ihearttruffles · 21/11/2009 20:02

It's that too, but I was just commenting that for a lot of people 'protecting other people' just doesn't seem to be in there at all! It's like it's all about them and their child and whether they want to go out or feel fit to, and nothing else is relevant.

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bigpreggybelly · 21/11/2009 20:23

I think those people are pretty selfish and should have stayed at home. It really annoys me at work when people insist on coming in with a bad cold, flu or whatever and than spread it all round the office. Even a cold is enough to make you feel dreadful. I wish people would stay at home if they have the lurgy.

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jardins · 21/11/2009 20:29

You are totally right! We used to have these friends, who have 3 sons, who would ALWAYS come to our house, give us the customary 2 kisses on the cheek (we live in France) and then regale us with accounts of their horrid gastric bugs, flu viruses, etc. It made me livid!

My SIL, who lives in the States, told me that over there if your child has a contagious illness he/she must stay away from school/playgroup for a fortnight. I am VERY sensitive to the pressures of working parents with sick children - it can be so stressful to find solutions - BUT here in France the classrooms seem to be full of poorly children passing germs around. Sorry to sound like a fuddy duddy. I know kids need to build their immunity but there's no reason why they can't be well from time to time too.

Sorry about my rant. The main point of the OP was respecting a heavily pregnant woman. She's absolutely right. It's simple common courtesy. However tedious it is to be stuck at home with sick children it really is the most considerate solution.

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IsItMeOr · 21/11/2009 20:41

I've no idea why people do this either OP. Like we don't all have enough to deal with with small children anyway (TEETH!!!), without spreading extra germs around that could be avoided.

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Chunkamatic · 21/11/2009 20:53

My DS has been ill on and off for the last month and I have had to cancel loads of things that I was really looking forward to doing with him. For me the decision is always based 50/50 on both his comfort and wellbeing and the chance of him passing it on to other people.

I would never dream of taking him to see a pg friend or to play with other children because it's just not fair. His granparents look after him 2 days a week whilst I work and a couple of times I have even kept him home from them so as not to pass any illness to them.

I can't believe parents who consider taking them to playgroups etc - to me that is just irresponsible.

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whensmydayoff · 22/11/2009 10:30

I feel better you all agree. I seem to be surrounded by idiots!
It is a sin to watch a little one screaming their heads off, clearly ill and needing their warm bed and peace and quiet at home but instead, a thick ignorant mother dragging them round a busy playgroup.
This morning, my DS is very pale and has red spots coming up on one cheek.
Im watching him closley and very nervously.
He is in fine spirits, no sign of anything else so hoping it's a wee non entity of a viral thing and not a dangerous infection to Pregnancy.
Still so !

OP posts:
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IsItMeOr · 22/11/2009 10:38

Oh no! So sorry to hear DS is coming up with the red spots. What is wrong with people? Can only think it might be sleep-deprived addled brains...(like mine is).

Really hope it's nothing serious that might affect your pg. Try to keep calm, and are you going to the GP in the morning (or indeed, could you call them today?) in case there's anything they can do to put your mind at rest or minimise the risk to you and bump?

I do hope you will be (politely) leeting your friend know that your DS caught the rash from hers. Maybe she will learn. If you are on facebook with her (and some of these others) a passive-aggressive way to proceed would be simply to make your update about the rash DS has and your being worried.

and frustrated on your behalf.

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jardins · 22/11/2009 15:36

100% Whensmydayoff. I would be feeling furious and anxious too. My thoughts are with you.

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jardins · 22/11/2009 16:10

Oops, I meant to say I'm with you 100% Sorry!

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