Mumsnet Talk

Sorry I could not think of an original title

i like it

old!!!! talk about yourselves. I personally am in my prime!!!!!

thanks for all your support by the way girls. Sorry I shouldn't mope but sometimes I just need to and I don't like doing it in real life!!! Pretend all is going fantastically out there!!!

Xxx

Chooster, I am really sorry to hear your news. Sending big hugs and thinking of you and your dh. Look after yourselves, lots of tlc. x

H put on 6oz this week, which is good enough apparently Certainly better than 2oz in a fortnight! Goodness knows what was going on. Growth spurt? Burning off everything she ate? Anyway... 6oz has given the breastfeeding a stay of execution. Phew. I was so worried about having to stop.

Rainbow, I don't remember the black and white minstrel show... but I have 'heard' of it

Modern dance Honey - how cool - I bet it is great watching dd in shows and things. I wonder if H will be into dance <Ready stare wistfully into the room >

Ok, so today I was feeling particularly tired, and H would not nap, I think she is having her 12 week growth spurt a few days early... she's ravenous. So I fed her lying down, and we both fell asleep Do you think it is super foolish to let her get into the habit of sleeping off the breast?

xxx

Hi Ready- no I don't think that is super foolish... we have ALL done it. Actually that was how my babies got to sleep most of the time. At some point you will decide to stop BF, or H will decide to stop BF... anyway, for now enjoy it and don't worry about what the 'best' or 'ideal' way to do things is. Go with the flow. There is no best way- just your way.
DD's dancing is great- lots of shows etc but does end up costing rather a lot with all the costumes/ shoes/ ballet tights that get laddered straight away etc... and of course the cost of classes adds up. I felt like I was just constantly writing cheques in September! And also DS1 with football- he's just had new boots and new astroturfs- and he won't wear the cheap ones anymore! He has got savvy! (He's grown out of 3 pairs of football boots since January...)

Chooster- how are you? Hope things are calming down a bit for you.

Just been to DD's harvest festival at the local church... had to try hard not to blub during 'cauliflowers fluffy' or 'thank you for my friends'... what is it with little children singing that sends me into a complete sobbing loon?

Honey - you should be an NCT counsellor - oh you are going to be!!!

Ready - I couldn't have coped without feeding to sleep! Both of mine did it until I stopped feeding - made my life so much easier. Was never very sure how people coped without it as it worked so well for me. But as Honey said you have to do what you feel comfortable with, no matter what anyone says or thinks.

Cheers Fettle! Got 2nd tutorial tommorrow- now as a 'proper' student. Been looking at a thread in AIBU about NCT classes- quite a few grumpy mums on it- don't think I should post my opinions just yet! I promise to never turn into the antenatal teachers they are talking about!

Ready- how you getting on with H?

ready - i also feed ds2 to sleep, infact its the only way he will settle. i am also having him in bed with me at night. i am finding it so much easier as all i have to do is flop one out and feed and i am still resting so not feeling totally whacked in the mornings.

ds2 was sick after a feed today literally bought back everything he had consumed, is that normal? also someone said bf babies dont get that much wind, herbie seems to have loads of it, am i doing something wrong?

Ian. Both my breast fed babies had wind particularly dd. She frequently sicked up whole feeds too. Keep an eye on it. Dd had undiagnosed reflux. Had it been diagnosed my life would have been so much better with her as young baby! My hv with toby diagnosed her by my description of her symptoms 3.5 years too late!!!

Have to say that dd carried on being sick (a lot) til she was 3! Lovely!! Unrelated to the reflux I think - under developed gag reflex doctors said!

Off to warm up with a coffee!
Xxx

Sorry Iam predictive texting turned your name to ian!!!

Xxx

iam (ian!)- all my BF babies were windy! Lots of burps/belches.. and DD was also a vomiter- i'd often find little patches of sick around the place- nice.

Honey, how did your tutorial go? I know you will make a fabulous antenatal teacher. I didn't go to the NCT ones, I just went to the one off through the maternity unit. the midwife that did the day was brilliant! Really put me at ease about epidurals - just as well as it turned out!

12 weeks today!! Time flies. Bit of a nightmare night, H woke at 11.30 which she has not done for ages!! I hadn't been in bed all that long, so I am really tired today. I wonder if the heating made her thirsty?
Still only catnapping during the day, although we have twice fed to sleep now. It only works when she is tired and has woken irritable from a catnap. I tried it after a good sleep and she was smiling and alert afterwards - so I have to time it right. But I am not going to worry about it as a negative, if it means she gets a longer stretch of sleep, then that is the most important thing. Also means I can rest next to her

I can't believe I have breastfed for 12 weeks! It is hard again at the moment, just like it was at 6 weeks. I am trying to keep going, but her constant fussing gets to me. I have started expressing after she has gone to bed so that next week dh can give her a bottle some evenings so we can stop some of the fussing - we shall see what happens.

Iam, sounds like you are doing a great job with Herbie, don't worry about windy babies - it is a big myth that breastfed babies don't get wind. H always does a great big burp midway through a feed and afterwards too. And she does sometimes posset what looks like a gallon of milk. Rest assured that it looks more than it really is - that's what I was told anyway. I would say if I had known about breastfed babies being just as windy I would have made a point of bringing H up for burps in the middle of feeds much sooner, and I think that she might not have suffered so much with trapped wind when she was a few weeks old.

Question.... I am full of them aren't I? How long did the breastfeeders breastfeed for? What made you stop? Is it hard for everyone during growth spurts? Is it possible to have a routine with a breastfed baby?

Hope everyone is ok?

Thanks xx

Hi Ready - just quickly as I should be working while Toby is at nursery!

I fed DD til 8 months - went back to work then so tried to carry on morning and night feeds, but a couple of overnight work trips meant my supply dried up even though I expressed while away - was so upset to have to give up, but never mind! Toby I gave up at just under a year - he was becoming more and more of a biter - would have loved to carry on, but he was ready for greedy guzzling bottles of milk! I have to admit and say that I'd started giving him afternoon bottles from about 8 months too, as he was getting too wriggly out and about and it was no fun for anyone anymore (he also started nursery shortly after, so needed a bottle on the afternoon he was there).

Growth spurts are always hard for everyone! No worries there - but they are (as with everything else in parenting!), just a phase that will pass.

Totally possible to have a routine with BF - I have a friend who did a well known parenting guru's BF routine (personally think it's made her a prisoner in her own house at times, but that's my personal view!). It works really well for her and her baby. I'm sure Toby would have loved being in a proper routine, but being a 2nd child had to be bundled around everywhere after DD! Having said that I had my own "routine" with each child, although I didn't really realise until I was firmly in that routine, it just sort of happened around me if you understand - we starting feeding, sleeping etc at the same times each day, mainly around school runs!

Think long and hard before giving up as it is so much easier really! Nothing comforts an ill or upset baby better than feeding, I find - I still miss it now when Toby is really poorly.

Right must work!
xxx

Ready- I guess some people are into routines more than others- for me it was not important as I prefer the baby to fit in with what i want to do- rather than the other way around! I stopped BF DS1 by 10mths- but he also was having some bottles by 6 mths. DD was 11mths and DS2 was 1. They all had a few bottles during this time. Dex went onto a cup at about 14mths- no bottles. DS1 still enjoyed a bottle every now and then at 4 yrs old! So really depends on the child. Like Fettle i enjoyed BF- not just about the nutrition. Dex still likes to give my breasts a squeeze when we have a cuddle! Sounds a bit weird maybe? But he obviously still remembers the closeness and security he got from them in his first year. If you bottle feed you have to be more organised (i am not!)- can't so easily pop out- BF is always available so you stay out for longer- enjoy another coffee with a friend etc...

Hi everyone - thanks for your messages. Things are getting better, still bleeding but only slightly now. Its been a tricky time as I still feel guilty about my early worries and upset about being pregnant, but at the same time I've been a bit emotional seeing small babies and pregnant women. But my emotions are calming down as well as the bleeding. This holiday is really well timed (we leave for Spain tomorrow) and I'll be able to take some time out and think things through without work and school commitments taking over. Even though I've kept my job, work is just pants at the moment as so many people in the department are going so the atmosphere is pretty gloomy.

Does anyone think its wierd that I've not told anyone on RL about being pregnant and then losing the baby? I've not said anything to even my closest friends and wont mention anything to MrsMc either when I see her this week coming. I just think its not something I want to share with anyone.

Ready, as the others hvae said my boys were both fed to sleep on a frequent basis. I used to lov lying in bed feeding them and then dozing for a while beside them - Aaah, happy memories . And, both boys were windy too... I stopoped feeding DS1 at 7 months as he was starting nursery but with Theo I went on for about 10 or 11 months I think. We stopped because he was always pulling away and trynig to look at other things - he was just too fidgety and was much happier having a bottle facing into the room so he could see what was going on. But as fettle says in the early days breastfeeding was brilliant. If they are upset / poorly or on a plane etc, then it so easy to pop a boob out . Provided its not too hard on you then I would keep going for a while longer. You are just coming up to breastfeeding easy street!! . And also like fettle (agreeing with you a lot as always fettle! ), I think you can easily have a routine with a breast fed baby, at least as much of a routine as you want. We naturally fell into routines at around 3 or 4 months and hopefully you will to.

Hi Iam - how is little herbie? And Oscar? Is he managing OK? Theo had diagnosed reflux (I think it was only mild though) and he would throw a whole feed up at least once a day. He would also make a upset painful grumble noise after he fed as something was obviously causing him some discomfort. The doctor gave me infant gaviscon which kind of worked but he hated the taste. Anyway, it disappeared when he was about 6 months but then he remained a sicky baby until he was about 1. If anything made him cough when eating he would bring his food back up very easlily. Hopefully its just a one off for Herbie though.

How is everyone else - hope all mummies and little ones are doing well - Love Marcy's pics on FB. Thats picture of her with kiki wearing matching outfits is adorable!

Hopw rainbow and seaside are managing to keep the TTC demons at bay and are nice and relaxed about it all.

We leave tomorrow on a 6am flight so up at 4am!!! Yikes... Thats rubbish isn't it... But the weater looks good so it should be fun.

When I said I didn't want to share what had happened with the baby, I obviously dont include you guys in that!! . Its just in RL no-one had a clue I was pregnant so the whole thing seems strange to bring up.

Ready, I didn't know you'd had a dd, in fact I don't think I knew you were pg!!! Congratulations!!!!
Re: the bf, I fed dd1 until 9 months. Dd2 is now 10 months but I think I'll be feeding her for a long time yet.

The growth spurts can be hard but keep it going - it'll be worth it, and anyway ff is so much more work.

Chooster- have a great hol- and no, I dont think it is weird not telling RL people. It is different on MN somehow.

BF on planes! Brilliant! Forgot that one

Ready - just to echo everyone else, you are nearly at breastfeeding easy-street. From my memories the 12 week growth spurt is the last big one, and then no more growth spurts, but you do start with the teething issue. But teething is an issue for both breastfed and bottlefed babies and so not a reason to stop bf-ing! I found it so so much easier with bf-ing than bottle feeding, once you get past the first weeks it is much easier. I fed ds1 up to 7 months, but he was having bottles as well, (not a good thing as it turned out as he was dairy intolerant and we did not know it!!!), I did not stop, he did, I was pregnant and he went off the taste of the milk, apparently it changes when pg! Dd I fed til she was 1 year and 1 week old, then had to abruptly stop with mastitis and hospitalisation. With ds2 I stopped the final feed when he was nearly 14months, but that was due to wondering if it was contributing to the miscarriages, which it turns out it clearly was not. With ds2 I managed to exclusively breastfeed til 6 months too, which I was amazed at. I still miss breast-feeding him now sometimes when we have a cuddle.
Your last question was about routine and breastfeeding - yes absolutely you can have a routine. In my mind, whether you have a routine with a baby or not, is a personal choice. For some people routine is important, for others go-with-the-flow is important. For me I had a rough routine, but never stuck to it ridgedly if I needed to do something different. Just one little comment on the "expressing after she has gone to bed so that next week dh can give her a bottle some evenings so we can stop some of the fussing", I doubt you will find much difference, but if it is to give your dh a chance for feeding H, then it is good for them to bond in this way too. However, remember if you do this, when you suppliment with bottle, you are still going to have to express or your boobs will be uncomfortable, due to the extra milk supply created from the previous expressing, BUT also how the heck are you mananging to express after she has gone to bed!!!! wow - you must be doing great, I rarely managed to express anything in the evenings (I am jealous of your execellent supply!)

Chooster - It is not weird to not say anything to people in RL, it is hard to miscarry (how I hate that word) with people around you not knowing about it, but it is also easier not to have people talking about it too. You have to do what feels right for you, and I am glad that you have somewhere like here to let it out, anyway that feels right for you is the right way. On a lighter note, it is good to hear that you are going away on holiday, I hope that the break helps emotionally too. And you come back telling us how wonderfully sun-tanned you are !!!!

honey - yep BF on planes is so much easier than bottles, I concur!

I am suffering from a rotten cold right now, but with ttc it is ovulating time and the wrong time to be ill! I would just go for it, except my dh has an important interview on Tuesday, and the last thing we need is for him to catch my cold, so I am avoiding him like the plague (even though it is me with the dreaded lurgy), so ttc this month is a non-starter. Oh well, perhaps dc#4 is just not meant to be for me.

Well I am in the right place for breastfeeding encouragement – shame the same can’t be said of some of dh’s family – at 6 weeks when it was really hard they were saying to give her bottles, ‘it’ll be better for both of you’ – phew I am so glad I gritted my teeth and got through it. I set myself targets of 6 and then 12 weeks, and I have made both of them. By the skin of my teeth probably, but I did it. I have now set my next target of 14 weeks – baby steps you understand, feels more manageable if I do it that way. It does make me feel positive that you say that it gets easier after 12 weeks – if it does then I reckon I will make 14 weeks with a smile

Chooster, it is totally up to you how you handle your loss. If you’d rather not tell anyone in RL then that is perfectly understandable, so long as you feel you have enough support. It is so important that you take time to get over it, obviously I don’t know what it feels like to go through this, but I imagine that support would be important.
H is already pulling away looking at other things during feeds, and it gets a little frustrating when I have no idea how much she has taken. When you say you naturally fell into routines, did you just suddenly realise you had stumbled on a routine?

Rainbow, I express about 8.45 til 9.15, and don’t get a huge amount, between 1-2oz, but I figure every little bit adds up – whack it in the freezer. I intend to express while dh is feeding, I just thought that is H is getting it from a bottle, and doesn’t have to work for it, then she will fuss less, and give my nerves a break – it is very stressful having to switch her back and forth, she won’t stay on one side no matter how many times I re-offer it, even squirting the milk into her mouth helps for a matter of seconds. Sigh. Also, I would continue to express at 8.45 to build up for the next time. Part of it is also for dh to get some time to bond with H, because he loves giving her bottles. He says he loves the way she looks into his eyes as she feeds
Hope you feel better soon. Good luck to dh for his interview.

Honey, when you say your dc also had bottles, do you mean formula or expressed breastmilk? I don’t think it sounds strange that Dex gives you a squeeze, I think it sounds lovely. To be honest I enjoy the closeness of bfeeding, but when H fusses, which lately has been lots, I really don’t enjoy it, and actually have started to dread the evening feed because I just know it won’t be the gentle soothing 40mins that happens in the early hours of the morning. Bizzarely I do love those feeds, even though it means waking up when I need to be sleeping. She only wakes 1 or 2 times a night now, so it’s not too bad for sleep.

Fettle, I wasn’t intending to do a strict routine, open curtains at 7am, feed for 17minutes30 seconds etc. I think what I mean is a pattern – you know, so I have a rough idea of when I will be feeding her, when I will be –fighting with her--putting her down for naps, when it comes to weaning – when I will be giving solids. Everyone said that H will find her own routine, and that would be perfect, and I have been writing everything down to see if a pattern emerges but honestly, every day is totally different, and for me that is hard – I am a total control freak, I need at least ‘an idea’ of how the day will unfold. I also agree about being made a prisoner, I wouldn’t want that – some of our best days have been when we have been out and about.

Weepootle, lovely to ‘see’ you. How are you doing? Yep, dd is 12weeks old now!

Everyone else… hello!! How are you all? x

Obviously I meant to cross out --fighting with her--

fighting with her

Morning

Ready- I never managed to express BM- found it too difficult. Therefore they had formula if they had a bottle- DS1 had 'Nanny' which is a goat milk one due to his eczema. DD I gave an organic one from health food shop- 'babynat' I think it was. Dex had Hipp. He now however has regular goats milk. I would have loved to do 6mth just BF but found that didn't work for me. All mine started solids at 4mths. Dex was more baby-led weaning though than the others- and he is a really good eater now- not fussy at all. (This may change of course!)
They really only had bottles if I was going out.

Got all my stuff through from NCT. I have to book on for a weekend workshop prob January- all very exciting. Loads of stuff to read- masses of books on the reading list. The first essays are very reflective which I think will be a bit tricky- not used to writing like that. And I get a student card! Whooo 10% at naff shops! Yeah!

Keep meaning to catch up and post but have had a week of vomiting bug in the house and now overrun with visitors!
waves to everyone- back soon x