Feeling very stressed!

[ladyofshallots]

I am 31 weeks pregnant with two pre schoolers at home. I am also in the process of buying my first house and am learning to drive, both of which I'm finding horribly stressful.

I am on holidays at the moment as am a teacher, but have agreed to go back and work up to my due date (I don't want to, but am worried about money with taking on a mortgage and also that the mortgage lender night have an issue with me being on maternity leave, so want the house to complete first).

I haven't been given my own classroom and have been put in different rooms all over the school for every lesson all day every day, so no chance of putting my feet up.

I will also have to carry a heavy laptop, schoolbag and changing bag home every day and will have to catch a bus, pick dd2 up from childminders and then another to pick dd1 up from school.

I am feeling exhausted just thinking about it! I want to finish the driving lessons so I have one less thing to think about, but I am not doing very well with them at the moment and I HAVE to pass by next September when I go back to work (fulltime) after mat leave.

How can I make life easier?

[mrswee]

I am sorry you are feeling this way, I don't blame you with all you are having to juggle at once.

I found driving lessons alone very stressful never mind buying a house and that's without being pregnant.
I have found work very stressful while pregnant as I have a high pressured job and have finished a bit earlier than planned to cope with this, but luckly had annual leave I could use to do this.

Have they done a risk assesment at your work? They are putting you in a very stressful and physically difficult situation/position with having to move around class rooms lugging you stuff with you. I think your work may well be obliged to make it easier for you than they have. By the time you return in September you will be further on and may find moving around even more difficult.
That is not to say that you should start mat leave early- By law if someone is not coping with work in pregnancy they cannot be forced to start mat leave until 36 weeks, before that the work place must do what they can to make it possible to cope ie give you duties you can do and not expect you to do more or they have to suspend you on full pay untill mat leave starts at 36 weeks. I know that, that would still make you start earlier than you would want but hopefully you can just pressure your work into sorting it out for you so you have a class room or at least some help to get to those class rooms if not!

hope you can take the pressure off some how

good luck with everything!

[ladyofshallots]

Thank you, I haven't had a risk assessment and I know I should have done, so I will make sure that is done when I get back and will mention the classroom issue. At least that will make things much easier at work anyway.

[ladyofshallots]

Any other views?

[rostbeef]

Only to say try to stay calm about this - its still August so you should be enjoying your holiday rest without panicking about the new school term. Try to get the most out of the break possible. I agree that you should have your risk assessment and speak to the head. You need to share these burdens - can your DH/DP pick the little ones up? Or Grandma/Family? I feel for you as there is nothing worse than feeling overwhelmed and you have got lots on your plate. Try to keep calm and think rationally for your own sanity - I struggle with stress at work too and its very hard to manage.

[ladyofshallots]

DH said he will try to pick dd2 up sometimes, but he commutes to work and it just depends on traffic. He said he will try to finish earlier if he can. My mum is not very helpful (even though she doesn't work and dd2's childminder is two minutes away from her house) but she might (reluctantly) help out on occasion.

All seems ok on the house front at least - just waiting for some bank statements so the mortgage offer can happen and then we are ready to proceed to contracts. Hopefully I could take mat leave a couple of weeks earlier if we are in the new house soon.

[lazylion]

I had similar ladyofshallots. Now 36 weeks pg and driving lessons were making me ill. I recently came up with a solution to that: the children won't fit in our car when 3rd one arrives so we are going to buy an automatic. The theory is that I can restart much easier driving lessons after the birth and pass more quickly. Just an idea.