S/Flu again

[bettybets]

i'm totally p*ed off! I'm 38 weeks today and someone at my DP work has swine flu symptoms but refusing to go home because they dont get paid sick pay. My DP works in a very small building yard and i'm scared now that he may catch it. What would happen if he did? Would he be able to stay in the same house as me?? Would he be able to come in to hospital with me if i went into labour? I dont think he would, so i'd be on my own :-(

His boss doesnt really care and is ignoring the situation

Any advice?

[mogend77]

And breathe!

Lots of sympathy as have been in similar situations before. You have two issues here, probably of equal importance. One is the situation at your DP's work & the risk of swine flu & the other is your state of mind.

The person is being at the very least highly irresponsible & I suspect the employer could be considered as negligent if he doesn't send the person home. A call to the CAB might clarify the situation but I think your DP would be within his rights to alert an outside authority to this employer's negligence. Do they have a union? In no uncertain terms that employee should be sent home.

In the mean time take heart from the fact that they work outdoors. Ask your DP to try to keep a minimum of 1 metre's distance from him, keep their conversations minimal, wash his hands thoroughly & regularly. Although very virulent, please bear in mind that this is still relative - I had (probable) swine flu a few weeks ago and my daughter & dh did not catch it despite all the close contact. It is not by any means inevitable that this idiot (which is what he is) will pass it on.

If he does catch it and you are in labour, then no the hospital will not want him near them, and nor I imagine will you want him near your newborn. Incubation is up to 1 week & all clear in adults is 5 days after symotoms start. If your DP can get rid of this guy somehow today, then he has 1 week to show symptoms & 5 days after that, which takes you to 39+5. Are you a first timer? If not have you had an early labour before? Early labour (between 37-40 weeks) is only 25% of labours & much less common in first timers. Realistically, unless you have a history of early labours, you are much more likely to be late. So you have a good chance that, even if he did catch it, he would be free of it before you went into labour.

Is there anyone else close enough that you could ask to be your birth partner in the (unlikely) circumstances that your DP did catch it & you did go into labour before he had the all clear?

As for the anxiety. Well I had major swine flu anxiety & it was ruining everything. It has considerably reduced recently - I don't know if that's because I probably had it (and was OK), though I doubt it, because I don't know that I had it, or because I took steps to deal with the anxiety. Remember it is a mild virus for most people (and that includes most pregnant women), though virulent even the nightmare scenario predictions only predict 1 in 3 catching it through the whole winter and there are steps you can take to reduce the likelihood of trasnmission.

Whether he stays in the same house as you if he catches it is your own decision. I think, at your stage, hard though it might be, I would choose to be apart from him. But only you can weigh the pros and cons up for yourself.

I'm really sorry you are having to deal with such ignorant selfishness. But do try to stay calm. Rescue Remedy is good for panic attacks & I have found it invaluable with Swine Flu scares. It's fine during pregnancy.

[bettybets]

Thanks mogend your advice has calmed me down from a state of panic :-)

[mogend77]

Hope you are feeling a bit better this morning. Good luck for the birth!

[expectingagain]

Hi Bettybets. I'm halfway through my pregnancy and my DP has just had flu. It was suspected SF but as GP's aren't swabbing I can't know for certain. Definately full blown flu though, not your average man flu. He's now back at work after two weeks off and me and the DC haven't caught it so even if he does get it, it doesn't mean you will. GP's will prescribe Relenza as a precautionary measure if you are pregnant and want to take it. We slept in separate rooms while he was poorly, had lots of handwashing and he avoided coming downstairs during the day so try not to worry too much its not inevitable. Good luck!