When you dont want to find out sex of baby at scan....

[milkmummy1]

Just wondering what other peoples experiences were with having scans when you didnt want to find out the sex. how discreet is the sonographer expected to be? basically she was new and being supervised. we told her we didnt want to know sex so she said 'well you better look away then'. so obvioulsy we tried to look away but something very obvious kept popping up and I knew my partner had seen it and was thinking the same! she also referred to baby as 'he' and 'his' all the time. just wondered if anyone elses sonographer was a bit more discreet or is this an unrealistic expectation? i mean they have to check all anatomy dont they? but i just thought perhaps she would have at least tried not to give it away.If im honest we were hoping for a girl but now we're 90% sure its a boy, though we are more dissapointed about having the surprise ruined.I respect that the majority of people probably nowadays want to know at 20 weeks but we really didnt. what are other peoples experiences advice on this?

[Cadelaide]

Hah, we went through exactly the same when we had DC2 scanned for potential bowel probs at 24 weeks. We just knew she was a boy!

[lynniep]

Oh thats crp for you. Im pretty sure a decent sonographer can avoid that particular area, and even if they want to check - they can tell you to look away at the critical moment. I hope the supervisor said something to her afterwards, both about her 'he' ing and her not being able to avoid the area, because you should have the choice of knowing or not. It undestand if she was new at it it must have been quite hard for her to do, but still, how crp.

[Cadelaide]

Did that make sense? What I'm trying to say is you still don't know.

I "saw" a willy in DD's scan time after time. The sonographer seemed to make it obvious she was a boy.

I sent DP out 2 hours after her birth to buy her something pink to wear (just for novelty's sake, you understand ), we had nothing girly at all!

[rainbowdays]

I would agree with Cadelaide:

The use of he and his, is rather than it and it's, as the baby and the baby's is long-winded. To be certain of the gender the sonographer will have had to actually looked for it, the umilical cord can often look like boy bits when in the right area making a girl look like a boy, and boys are good at hiding their bits between their legs so making a boy look like a girl. The sonographer may have known but equally she may not unless she purposefully went looking for gender information. Even experienced sonographers make mistakes in guessing genders, so I don't think that you can assume that anything she did/said will tell you the gender.

[milkmummy1]

This is so useful to hear other peoples experiences on this, thanks guys. its also given me a bit of hope that it still may be a girl! (nothing against boys, but we already have one and would love a little girl). its really insteresting what rainbowdays said about the umbilicle cord and im wondering now if this is what it could have been. having said that, the willy looked so much like a willy if you know what I mean! I even thought I could see two big balls! So I am still going to remain open minded but still a little dissapointed with the senographer. with DS's 20 week scan she seemed to avoid that area too much and even when she did go past it, the fact that we saw nothing made us think 'he' was actually a girl! but this time all i could see what legs and (possibily) willy and she seemed to be focusing on this part quite a lot. baby was really moving around a lot though, quite quickly in fact and sometimes i wasnt even sure what was legs and what was arms.

[Longtalljosie]

My PCT don't tell you - but we had a private gender scan later. At the NHS scan, I was convinced I saw testicles. It turned out it was a girl...

[notevenamousie]

I wouldn't read too much into it - one of the best sonographers I work with is self-admittedly terrible when it comes to determining sex, because in terms of major malformations, it doesn't really matter.

[cupcakesinthesnow]

My sonographer referred to the baby as 'baby' and never he or she.

Personally, I think that if you really see having another boy as a 'disappointment' maybe you should be using this time to get used to this possibility rather than hoping you may still have a girl, and avoid what appears will be a huge blow for you.

It would be horrible for all concerned if you truely are disappointed when baby is born so maybe the sonographer has done you a favour?

[christie00]

We were sure DC2 was a boy after sonographer said "he's perfect!" at the end of 20wk scan - but mw said many people who work with pg women automatically refer to baby as 'he' to avoid talking about too many 'she's' iyswim (pg women, most mws, etc...)

DP cried his eyes out when we met our beautiful DD! (we already had DS)