Missed Miscarriage at 20 weeks

[NK47119340X120ec15f260]

Hello!
On the 8th April I went for my 20 weeks scan only to be told that they could not find a HB. My husband and I were devestated as I had heard the heart beat at 16 weeks and was told the baby sounded nice and healthy....galloping hb they said.
From the size of the baby on the scan they said it had dies around 18 weeks, of what they could not say. Since then I was induced and gave birth to our little girl that we have named Ceri-Anne. She was so small and perfect, I can not understand why this has happened to us.
We have opted for a post mortem to try to establish a cause but the results take so long, up to 6 weeks we have been told. I feel that I cannot move forward until I know what happened to her.
My husband and I really want a family, we got pregnant with Ceri-Anne pretty much as soon as we decided to try and I had a perfect pregnancy, no sickness or anything but now I am worried that it will take a long time to conceive again or that if we do this will happen again.
Has anyone out there been through this? Do you now have children and how long did it take?
I do not want to replace our Ceri-Anne but I feel that having a baby will help ease the pain.
Thank you

[Disenchanted3]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Ceri-Anne is a beautiful name x

[kidcreoleandthecoconuts]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I havent been in your situation but have friends who have. They have gone on to have normal healthy pregnancies and babies.
Hopefully you will get lots of good advice and support on here from people who have experience of this.

[sydneysuze]

Oh NK what a heartbreaking thing to happen. I am so sorry for the loss of Ceri-Anne and my thoughts are with you and your husband.

I'm sure someone will be along soon who has suffered in a similar way to offer advice and experience. Have you looked at the Bereavement topic also?

Sending you my deepest condolences.

[lucykate]

my brother and his partner lost a baby 3 years ago at 31 weeks. all of a sudden, she'd just stopped moving. there was a postmortem after she was born, but there was nothing to pinpoint why it happened. in the end it was put down to what they called a 'cord accident'. most likely the cord kinked, cutting off the blood supply. they did go on to have another, a healthy baby girl a year later.

i've miscarried twice, and in both cases, really just left it in the hands of nature afterwards. we didn't wait to try again, and neither did my brother and his partner.

so sorry for your loss, it takes time to come to terms with it. take care, x.

[ShowOfHands]

I'm so terribly sorry. Are you familir with the SANDS website?

[ShowOfHands]

familiar

[muppetgirl]

I am so sorry to hear of your lose and Ceri-Anne is a lovely name xxx

I had a mmc at 14 weeks and became prgt again within 2 months. Apparently you're quite fertile as your body is still remembering the pregnancy. Not sure how scientific this is but was told to me and appears to be correct in my case. I went onto to have ds 2 who is perfect and are now 29 weeks with ds 3.
Good luck xx

[NK47119340X120ec15f260]

Thank you all for your messages and kind words

[SweetPea99]

Hello NK,
I'm so sorry to hear this. The same thing happened to me last April. The pregnancy had been progressing well (chronic morning sickness right up until the end unfortunately). Our baby girl was the right size for dates, and we weren't offered a post mortem, however the chromosome tests came back completely normal, so we will never know why her heart stopped beating.

All I can say is that you need to give yourself time to grieve. The next pregnancy is tough, especially the first half (I am now 30 weeks), because you have lost the innocence in some ways.

I was told again and again that it is extremely unlikely that this would happen twice - especially if there is no reason found from the post mortem. There is also absoloutely no reason for you to take longer to conceive this time round.
My advice would be to look after yourself, and allow yourself time to come to terms with the bereavement.

Getting pregnant again did help me, however, I certainly didn't have the (mental) strength to do it again straight away (we had a 5 month gap between losing our first baby and conceiving the second). It is still early days for you - less than a month since this terrible shock, so don't feel you have to rush in to anything. Alternatively, you may feel that you need to be pregnant again for your own sake. Everyone is different.

I hope that helps. The moment in the scanning room, I think, will stay with us forever, but the pain does recede with time.