OMG the midwife just apologised!! two years after the event!!

[lynniep]

I can't believe it - but I'm really pleased because its going to make this pregnancy a whole lot easier.

To cut a long story short - DS was undiagnosed breech. He was breech all along, which I suspected, but as a first time mum was just dismissed as a worrier. Fair enough mistakes get made and my midwife wasnt the only one to make the mistake.

What upset me was her attitude when she visited after his birth. He spent a week in SCBU and was very poorly at the time and even when we got him home we didnt know for many months if he was brain damaged by the trauma of his birth. She basically came over and made excuses for the mistake but no reasons and prattled on about people having easy breech deliveries all the time in the past and such fusses weren't made then.

It wasn't that I blamed her at all - I just would have liked her to acknowledge she did make an error and get some sympathy for what we had been and were going through.

Anyway, she came over for my first antenatal appointment today, along with a student midwife, and first thing she said was 'lynniep had an undiagnosed breech' and then proceeded to be 'so so sorry' for missing it, and explaining to the student the reasons that it could happen, then telling me she'd make sure it didnt happen this time and that I would get a late scan. Was flabbergasted! She was very nice (I remember from last time that she can be quite curt and dismissive) and it made me much more relaxed about seeing her this time round.

So see - even the eggs you think are bad can turn out good

[reikizen]

For what it's worth it is very very upsetting when a baby (and mum) under your care are ill or have a difficult birth and people can deal with this in peculiar ways. I think some people go on the defensive when they make a mistake especially as litigation is so prevalent in maternity at the moment. It is also very very easy to miss a breech, especially in a first time mum with those lovely tight abdominal muscles!
However, that shouldn't have been your problem to deal with and I'm glad she has restored your faith!

[linspins]

Glad you got some closure on this and that you feel at ease second time round. Congratulations btw and hope all goes smoothly this time. xx

[WinkyWinkola]

That's brilliant news, lynniep. And it sounds like she's really trying to learn from the experience too so that it won't happen to other women and their babies.

[Ryn]

That is so reassuring to hear, my baby was in SCBU for a fortnight as the consultant missed the fact that she was low birth weight (telling me the week before delivery that she would be 7lb and is was 3lb 12). I knew that there was something wrong but kept being shooed away as an overanxious first time mum. I ended up with an emergency c at a different hospital and my 'supposed' consultant came to see me three days after she was delivered. I was still in hopsital and not really wanting to see him but he barged into the ward unannounced, called me by the wrong name and said he felt "shit" and had no explanation as to why it was missed (when i had weekly scans from 34 weeks as she was transverse and low lie placenta!).

The hospital where i had her were tremendous, but that man should, in my mind be struck off. Esp as a few weeks later I got chatting to a new mum in a local shop only to find at 20 weeks he told her that her baby was abnormally large. poor woman stopped eating, lost her partner through the stress of it all and was a nervous wreck... only to deliver a lovely healthy 7lb little boy!

makes you wonder!!!!

am 23 weeks now with second baby and needless to say have avoided that consultant and am under the fabulous care of another hospital and set of midwives!!!!!

[BikeRunSki]

LynnieP that is marvellous news. My DS (7 months) was also undiagnosed breech and delivered by Em CS at very short notice (imagine running down corridor with mw yelling "don't push") and also poorly - although not in SCBU it was borderline and we were kept in for a week.

Community mw told me his head was engaged 2 days before he was born! But when she came round the day after we finally got home from hospital she coudln't stop apologizing - and I believe it was genuine not an attempt to stop me complaining to her seniors (the thought had never crossed my mind). Good luck with your second!

[lynniep]

thank you for your best wishes.
I'm sorry to hear what happend to you Ryn but I'm so glad that you are happier with the new hospital
And BikeRunSki, I'm pleased your mw did see that you needed reassurance and apologies after the birth.
As I said in the OP, it wasn't just my community mw that made the mistake, so I didnt blame her for what happened - it was her original attitude that was upsetting (reikizen thanks for being voice of reason and pointing out that people do react in different ways to news that something's gone awry with their patient- you are right of course), and the relief now that I know she's not the dragon I've made her out to be in my head is huge!!

(Oh, and the mw at the hospital told me 20 minutes before his foot popped out that his head was engaged so I'm fully aware how difficult it can be to recognise a breech - but anyone reading this who is convinced their baby is breech - if you can afford it have a private scan done - I wish I had!)

[HeadFairy]

lynniep - so glad you got your apology. I'm very glad I insisted on a scan when I was pg with ds... I knew he was breech but every midwife disagreed. I didn't get much support from my family either, my sister thought I was mad to think I would know more than the midwives. But I knew those kicks were too low and they weren't his hands either. And that big fat round hard lump under my ribs wasn't his bottom. Moral of the story, only you know what you're feeling. Go with your gut every time. Ds was born via a very calm and uneventful el cs and is now a delightful 19 month old.