Advice needed from experienced mums for a neurotic novice!

[heylottie]

Hello
I hope someone can indulge me with this - I know a lot of expectant mums have more genuine reasons to be concerned but I am hoping my worries aren't that unusual.

I am 13 weeks pregnant (first baby). We had the 12 week scan last week and everything present and correct. So we'll go back in 8 weeks for the 20 week scan, all good.

Except - with my MS pretty much gone, with my boobs not really sore or even bigger, with no bump to speak of (naturally 'plump' not washboard flat!) - I lie awake worrying that I will go to the 20 week scan and the baby will be dead. There is no reason to think this - I guess it's because I don't feel pregnant 'any more'. When you know you have the 12 week one coming it is kind of reassuring. But with two months to wait til the next scan i think 'are you in there? are you ok?'

Has anyone else felt this? Or do I need a gentle slap???x

[pginthecloset]

heylottie, here is a (very gentle) slap

If you have seen a healthy baby at a 12 week scan the chances of miscarriage go down to something like 1%

It's really normal for nausea and sore boobs to stop at about 12 weeks, mine did with DS1 although with DS2 the sickness lasted a bit longer. I'm currently 9 weeks with DC3 and can't wait for the horrendous nausea to stop

And don't worry about a lack of bump - soon you'll be complaining that nothing fits!

Congratulations btw, and try to enjoy your time up until the next scan x

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

If you want reassurance, you could always ask the midwife to have a quick listen for heartbeat. It can be such a huge relief to hear it.

[fryalot]

Hi heylottie

congratulations on your pregnancy!

It is totally, totally normal to feel like you do. You won't properly relax until you hold your baby in your arms, but please try not to worry because it is really rare for anything to go wrong now.

As ILMDAMO said, if you are worried, you can ask the midwife to give you some reassurance, you will probably be seeing the MW fairly regularly.

[heylottie]

Thank you all! I always assumed I would be much more laissez-faire about the whole pg business...and enjoy it a lot more!

I will chill out, and wait for baby to start 'bubbling' - and then MAYBE i will start telling people!!

x

[peachyfox]

Hey Heylottie as another first timer (41 and IVF to boot) I can only say from where I stand at 16+4 weeks, that I feel your pain. Your baby is fine of course, but short of asking the dr to make a window in your tummy it's easy to lose faith isn't it...

I bothered my doctor several times (she used to sigh and open the doppler drawer when I walked in) but she understood and I was always out in minutes.

I started feeling movements around 17-18 weeks (little popping feeling, for me anyway, very sweet!) but now I just worry when I haven't felt it for a while.

Have you thought of getting a doppler? You can listen to the heartbeat whenever you want. I'm getting this one.

If you do get a doppler, try to start using it when you've just heard the heartbeat, because it may take a while to find and it will only make more worried if you can't find it right away.

Congratulations!

[heylottie]

Ooooooh a doppler - now that's a great idea! x

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

Oh please don't get a doppler. If you can't detect a heartbeat, and sometimes even trained people can't, then it may make you worry even more!

[spongebrainmaternitypants]

lottie, totally normal! My mum said to me that the gap between 12 and 20 wks is like a big black hole - and she was right! DS was 5 years in the making so paranoia was at a premium - I popped along to see my MW a couple of times to hear the HB which really helped.

I would 2nd what ilove says and try and resist the doppler - think how you would feel if you couldn't find the HB? My brother, who is an A&E nurse, says they regularly have panic stricken women in who have not been able to find the HB but everything is fine.

Up to you of course, but I didn't get one!

Once LO starts moving, everything is so much easier cos you get regular reminders that s/he is well!

Good luck x

[Portoeufino]

Relax! This is time when you are supposed to bloom! You'll start to feel baby moving about before too long. Little flutters to start with. Just chill out and eat lots of yummy things as you have an official "excuse". You think that pregnancy is going to last for EVER and the next thing you know you have a 5 year old!