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Pregnancy

Can you definitely not harm the baby by being very over emotional?

23 replies

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 10:37

It's just that I have had a horrible 24 hours, trying to move a washing machine, having an argument, shifting boxes, smoked 10 cigarettes in the space of about 8 hours and am hurting (emotionally) like hell and csan't stop crying. Not slept a wink.

Am having lots of Braxton Hicksy things.

Sorry but can hardly type for tears.

OP posts:

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Mummywannabe · 02/03/2009 10:40

Didn't wanna leave your post unanswered. Take a few deep breaths, have a bath or something and try to rest a bit. People have all sorts of things go on when they are pregnant and babies are fine. Why were you trying to do all those things on your own?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 02/03/2009 10:43

I lost my job when pregnant and cried a LOT as we were not sure if we would lose our house..and my DD is fine and is the most easy going little sweetie you can imagine..hope that helps!

Niecie · 02/03/2009 10:45

No you can't harm a baby by being over emotional for a day - gosh, every baby would be harmed if that was the case - don't we all get over emotional during pregnancy at some point. It is our perogative surely!

I think it can affect a baby if you have high levels of stress for a prolonged period (weeks) but if it is just 24 of troubles put it behind you and don't worry.

I agree - go and have a rest, lie down, take a few deep breaths and get some sleep if possible.

Hope you feel better soon.

cyteen · 02/03/2009 10:45

I got pregnant 8 months after watching my brother die of cancer, so IME definitely not Have a cup of sweet tea and indulge yourself in a cathartic cry, your little'un will be fine.

Niecie · 02/03/2009 10:46

24 hours that should say. Sorry.

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 10:59

Thanks, I wish it had only been 24 hours. This has been going on for months. Was just worried that I have caused a BIG problem with out of control smoking and shifting really heavy stuff all week culminating in the washing machine, fridge and sofa yesterday.

Wouldn't have worried as at 9 months my mum was nearly killed in an accident and I nursed her for the last weeks of my first pg, and baby was fine, but the contractions are worrying me.

Oh, was because I have separated from dp and have been moving out (getting shoved out with all my stuff) mummywanabe.

OP posts:

Mummywannabe · 02/03/2009 11:02

Sounds like you have had reason to be stressed out. How far gone are you?

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 11:06

5 months, but have had treatment to terminate (as requested by exdp) and also diagnosed placenta praevia so not the healthiest pregnancy, plus my random bouts of mad stressed fag ash lil behaviour.

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Niecie · 02/03/2009 11:06

Oh sorry. Its just that you said you had a tough 24 hours in your OP. In that case, a bit of a lie-down isn't going to cut it. Sorry, after all that it sounds a bit lame.

If you are really worried about the BH I .would have a word with the midwife. See if she is worried and if she can suggest anything to help them calm down a bit

Over and above that I would have a word with the GP to see if you can get some help from them. If nothing else perhaps they can offer a substitute for the smoking that might be safer for the baby.

How many weeks are you?

Gemzooks · 02/03/2009 14:21

don't be hard on yourself. concentrate on your welfare and that of the baby and don't let other things get to you, i know it's not easy but just say, 'does x, y, z, help me and the baby?' and if the answer is no, don't let it into your life.

the stress does not harm your baby but lifting stuff might and smoking does so put yourself first and just take it easy.

titmouse · 02/03/2009 17:38

so sorry to read of your suffering hobbgoblin. My own BH were always worse about 20 or so weeks if I had been strenuous or rushing around as the physical activity can set them off. Also I've read on MN several times that dehydration can make them worse do if you are doing a lot of physical work it might be contributing.

I've shouted, cried, and thrown all sorts of things through this pregnancy, dreadful hormonal rages, and it's scary cos you think the baby is going to be affected but he/she seems fine to be honest, probably just wonders what all the racket is about.

I really hope that things improve for you and that you are able to rest and get help from your GP for the stress which I am sure will help with the smoking.

StercusAccidit · 02/03/2009 17:58

HG
I am so sorry to hear your problems.. i'm not going to go into it.. i'm the bloody hijack queen atm but no, you can't harm the baby emotionally.. but you sound like you are going through hell so need to take care of yourself as a happier YOU means a happier baby IMO.. no matter how small, try and be a bit kinder to yourself ..
Rest sound silly when your twat of a DP is seemingly evicting you i won't go into that.
Don't move anything, you are not superhuman, if he wants it moved let him frigging move it.. you are carrying a precious cargo flower

But do try and grab some resting time and some support from someone for the emotional stuff.
Cried every night through till morning at 6 months and 8 months for 2 weeks a time and DS is adorable and quite easy baby.. and i don't hate him like i feared i would .. DP is still a nob though.. come and chat on my brand new 'me thread' lol designed to stop me hijacking i guess

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 20:26

Got through another wanky day and nice to come back and read the posts. Thanks, as always.

Off to search your thread Stercus - I have been crying in my sleep!

I dunno, I've been dumped and divorced and strangled and emotionally abused before, I've been pregnant before and a lone parent before but I don't think I've faced all these things at once whilst pregnant and moving out.

BH have settled and are only coming on when I talk to anyone about what's happening when I suppose I get a stress hormone release. Back ache is going and am aware that I am quite thirsty so will make a point of drinking.

OP posts:

cyteen · 02/03/2009 20:31

Wow...you have been through so much already to bring this baby into the world...think how amazing it will be to finally meet him or her

[hormonal moment emoticon]

cyteen · 02/03/2009 20:31

And I did chuckle at 'another wanky day' so you've brightened up my own (much less dramatically) crap day somewhat!

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 20:39

cyteen, you've been here from the start, cheers chick!

OP posts:

StercusAccidit · 02/03/2009 22:54

HG

Its bluesapphire i got a noooooooooooooow name

I feel so sorry for you my love i have been where you have.

All i can do is say i am thinking of you, send you and tell you hopefully it gets better.. you MUST try [shame at not taking own advice as usual emoticon] not to fish in shitty ponds now hun you will only catch toads.

When you have birthed your baby relax and enjoy being a mummy and don't look for a bloke as you will only probably find one who thinks 'ah a new and vulnerable mum/woman/victim'

Look for one when you are ready or wait foe him (mr right) to drop in your lap as IMO thats when they do, when you least expect it.

xxx

StercusAccidit · 02/03/2009 23:12

Had treatment to terminate..not being judgy..did it fail or something? In which case look at this baby as a miracle too and enjoy him/her all the more

Just be as gutted as i am about the choice of sperm donor lol

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 23:12

Ahhh, now I know who you are!

I'm years away from thinking about it really what with having the baby, the breastfeeding, tiredness, my life to sort out. However, I don't think they fal lin my lap because I am outwardly scary and assertive. Only the nasty ones with vulnerability radar find me

OP posts:

StercusAccidit · 02/03/2009 23:19

Same here

The nice ones i have met i have probably been horrible to as i could never seem to accept that they were for real, if you understand that?

hobbgoblin · 02/03/2009 23:28

Yes! I do!

The termination was medical (I too wish not to be overly and frequently dramatic about my slightly dramatic circs!) and I took part one of the medication and then thought 'fuck you dp, this termination is your choice, not mine' and I decided to not go for the second drug and cross my fingers and toes and arms and legs and hope the baby survived the first drug. He wasn't supposed to be but he is still here, still kicking away inside and seems to be perfectly formed.

Bit of a miracle.

OP posts:

Nekabu · 03/03/2009 08:42

I don't know if this would be something you'd be interested in but there does seem to be quite a bit of extra help available for pg women. Do you think you could get some counselling? It just sounds like you have been through so very much that an outsider who is trained to help vunerable people may be able to give you a helping hand. Whilst you're there you don't just have to discuss your current situation, you might also like to see if you could get a different perspective on other aspects. Just a thought ...

p.s., please do try to knock the smoking on the head.

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Comma2 · 10/03/2009 20:07

Hu. Why don't you pay some student to move all that stuff for you, that's not a good idea when you have Braxton Hicks. Then kick the smoking, that can make for premature birth and all kinds of bad problems for the kid, also later on. Like scary psycho problems, I kid you not. Once babe is out you can smoke yourself into a frenzy....I smoke too, so is not just some non-smoker rant.
Also would think counseling would be helpful to deal with crap.
Good luck with all!

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