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Not due til June but have had several horrid labour dreams of late and am starting to feel anxious. (Yes, I'm a first-timer...) Can anybody share their experiences with these types of pain relief please?

God, Looooouise, am feeling the same - due in March with my 3rd!

No experience of either (had no drugs either time, amazingly), but started similar thread myself! It honestly can't be that bad if I have done it twice with not a sniff of anything (that's what I keep telling myself anyway!)

have you thought about a hypnosis tape/antenatal yoga/doula?

I've never had an epidural so sorry I can't comment on that but I had pethidine with my first dc and vowed never to have it again. The labour slowed down straight away, so much so that I was sleeping through contractions and baby's heartbeat dropped dramatically. I was eventually put on a drip to speed things up and a ventouse/delivery-room full of people later, my ds was whisked over to rescusitation trolley. Thankfully all was ok and maybe the Pethidine wasn't to blame but with dd I only had gas and air and it was a wonderful, calm experience. I expect others will be along to tell you how wonderful it was but I didn't like it. Just keep an open mind and your options open and you'll be fine

Louuuise - ask around your family, I was told to go nowhere near pethidine after my mum and brother both had bad reactions.

RE the dreams, what is it exactly that scares you? I knew when I had DS that what really terrifies me is:
1. not being able to move
2. long term pain (10 hours rather than 1)

so it was a lot easier to plan strategies around these two points, which helped to calm me down a lot. As it was DS arrived 8 weeks early after a 2.5hr labour and like dinny I had no pain relief at all in the end!

Hi Dinny, well, I'm having my mum as my birth partner, whom I'm sure will be the best doula in the world having had four of us!
I've always pretty awful periods, so have tried all sorts of alternative pain relief for that, but usually resort to regular Codeine dosage when it's bad. So not feeling that optimistic. It's the crowning that is giving me the nightmares!
But you've got a great track record and are clearly made of steel!

personally, I think the only really bad time is transition (and 2nd stage but only in a "oh my God this can't really be happening" kind of way, not so much a painful way)

I felt very out of control in transition and was really really freaked out when I started puking too (no-one had warned me!)

but labour pains I found very sort of familiar and not scary at all - cope-able with so long as you are able to move round.

sorry, this hasn't helped with your OP but all these thoughts are going through my head too - you're not alone

pethidine - it's a bit like you are out of your own head and body - very druggy feeling - I didn't like it at all and it made me vomit.

epidural - great for pain relief but I could not feel to push so in the end I had to have venthouse with both of my children which was not ideal, I needed stitches both times. However, I healed up pretty quickly both times.

TBH I think the best thing is to take the advice and guidance of the midwife at the time - as long as she is a good one. I had a birth plan but it went out of the window!

HOw long does transition last? Is that when the head comes out? (brow furrows, beads of sweat form on forehead...)

I have only had experience of epidural, not pethidine (although my sister once had pethidine for something else (not labour) and it made her vomit a lot, which kind of put me off.)

I had always planned to have an epidural (I worked in hospital, saw a lot of people have it for pain relief for operations etc, and decided it would give very good pain relief). I wasn't disappointed. I had total pain relief once it was in. I then sat around reading the papers etc. Some people don't like the fact that you can't get up and move around, but my take onit was that if I wasn't in any pain, that wasn't a problem.

I did have a ventouse delivery, but really, it was one quick suck, and ds was out.

At the end of the day it very much depends on what you feel comfortable with. I knew from the start I'd like an epidural, which helped.

hey, you are at an advantage if you have bad period pains - labour won't seem as bad as your are expecting, it is exactly same pain as period pains - I suffered with bad period pains and I never even noticed early labour with dd or ds (or Braxton Hicks for that matter)

yes, head crowning is, ahem, an experience! but ds's shoulders got stuck after his head had crowned and so he was stuck there for a while and I didn't even tear, honestly

By the way, I didn't need stitches.

transition is between first stage (contractions to dilate cervix) and second stage (pushing) - it feels really confusing IME, as you have sort of got used to dealing with contractions and then have this new feeling

I have always been lead to believe that epidural/pethidine often end in intervention

Thanks Somuch - the epidural sounds great - but how did you know when to push? Pushing sounds like the only bit that might actually be exhilerating (or at least productive...)

loooouise - I was absolutely neurotic about birth: I studiously put off reading anything about it at all until I was about 7 month gone with dd1 after which I forced myself to read a book. At which point I freaked out, confident that I would not cope. But - I did cope! I won't lie - I found my births very painful and there were complications but both my dds were fine, as was I! you need to feel confident that you can manage it, because you can.

I don't know, dinny, I think everyone's experience of pain is different. I don't usually get bad period pains (some pain but not too much), but labour was very painful (much more so than any period pain I had ever had) right from the start.

Wel, you are wired up to a monitor, which shows when you are contracting. So I just pushed when advised by the midwife (apparently my face at the time was a picture! ). But I was cracking jokes and laughing as ds was born. I have to say the birth was a very positive experience for me.

ring of fire is how me a friend describe crowning!! but on the bright was able to cope with gas and air and then was phoning family myself 30 mins later as was able to get up and move around, but good luck whatever you decide as in the end its just your beautiful baby that makes it all worth it.

I've had 2 epidurals [although in 2 different countries]. My first was in the UK and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. I was induced and the labour was fast and furious. I went from extreme agony to being able to sit and chat for a while. It was managed very well and by the time it came to push could feel everything and dd came out without assistance. I was up and about having a shower soon after.

Epidural number [in Spain] was not so good. It only worked on one side so I was numb and in agony at the same time. They tried twice more to rectify it but it didn't work. I ended up with an emergency c section, which would have happened anyway in my opinion.

In Spain I also had pethidine as there is no gas and air and the mw said baby wouldn't be coming for a while so it was ok. Just after the iv was put in I went fast and furious again, so iv was taken out. Not sure if it got into my system or not [sorry not very helpful].

My advice would be to do what you are doing and then you can make informed choices when the time comes. Good luck, you'll be fine

Thanks loads everybody, this is really helping. I'm a great believer in knowledge = power!

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thread about home births Just to give you a warm and cosy feeling!

First my positive experience, I had DD (second baby) with epidural. Started with G&A, then at 6cm had epi. Was fab, relaxed, comfortable, felt every contraction, managed a little sleep. Woke up feeling that I needed to wee. But the baby was actually crowning, 4-5 pushes and she was out. Straight onto the boob and we were away. No tears not episiotomy....just lovely. Epidural wore off within 40 mins I think, and I was tucking into jacket spud and salad by bedtime. I did it this way because....

I had my first with gas and air and then pethadine. Because the MW broke my waters to move things along . Pethadine awful, felt out of control, pushed to soon, just not with it at all. Finally suffered 3rd deg tear, just felt out of body the whole time.
Then baby wouldn't breastfeed because he was away with the fairies. The final straw that broke the camel's back was when the MW on duty syringed collostrum from my nipples and squirted it into DS mouth so that she could discharge me legitamately i.e. he had eaten. It took my local MW and HV about a week to help me to establish bf after that.

Now this is just my personal experience, but DH and I realised that first birth could have been so much better if the MW hadn't broken my waters, but were both really happy with the outcome of the second delivery.

My only tips would be
Get the MW to coach you properly while you are contracting on how and when to do the gas and air, it makes a HUGE difference.
Be flexible in your birth plan and make sure DP knows it too, to fight your corner.
Try not to be frightened and just go with the flow as much as possible!
Remember the outcome, a beautiful baby!

Good luck

I think the length of your labour so determines whether you ask for epidural/pethidine - couldn't have coped with the pain level for 20 hours or anything, mine were 5 and 4 hours long

If it's the crowning that bothers you, then consider perineal massage to help stretch your bits.

To be honest, you're aware of the crowning (and it's not very nice) but it's really only a few seconds in the whole experience!

I had pethdine towards end of my labour (after about 20 hrs) and found it did take edge off and didn't make me feel sick or anything. Only thing is I never managed to breastfeed and part of me has always wondered if this played a part. Ds was very sleepy after birth and none of midwives in hospital could manage to help me get a proper latch as he wasn't remotely interested (despite good sucking reflex) though I also had flat nipples. Only option i was given was nipple shields and by day 4 was covered in blisters and exhausted and gave up. In hindsight lack of real advice in hospital probably contributed as much as pethadine.