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Pregnancy

My biggest wish is for them to come up with a way for the men to do it

18 replies

littleboyblue · 19/12/2008 02:11

That's right, let them go through all of this because they just don't have a clue do they? And what they really don't understand is that it isn't 'just' 9 months, so let them
worry about sharing the news
spend 5-6 weeks waiting for tht scan and fretting about mc and mmc
spend all day with their heads sdown the toilet thinking they're going to bring up their insides
go off their favourite foods and spend weeks with a dinner fork in one hand a bottle of mouthwash in the other for the nasty taste everything leaves
have their sense of smell hieghtened by 400%
give up drinking and smoking and the things that bring you a moments pleasure
cut down on chocolate and caffiene
to read that whilst pregnant you should use your mobile phone, eat a McD's incase your child becomes obese, lift anything heavier than a kettle, lets face it, we should all lock ourselves in the cupboard under the stairs, but then we wouldn't get any vitamin D
To watch their waist expand until they can't wear their favourite clothes
to have nipples so senitive that you wish they weren't there
to get stretch marks, all over
to not be able to sleep on your front or your back
to be kicked the hell out of from the inside
to be annoyed when baby kicks for 2 hours from 1am but panic if it doesn't
to feel like the only person worried about life post-pregnancy
to have to carry around a plastic cup in case someone asks you for a urine sample so you don't get it halfway up your arm
to go through endless poking and proding and god knows how many blood tests
to lose all control and fart in a packed lift (they do that anyway don't they)
To not know if it's 'time' and to be sent home to 'relax'
to spend days in labour scared
to try to push a 48cm head out of a 10cm hole
to be left pushing for hours and hours only to discover that you need help to deliver your baby
to have their fun zone cut to make the hole bigger
to be stitched and sore
to scream louder when going to the toilet for the next month than you did in childbirth
when 'it's all over' to not be able to sit down or stand up without holding everything up there
to be up 5-6 times a night (if you're lucky) to cry for no reason at all for at least 2 weeks
to spend at least 6 weeks 'reovering' what a joke

Have I forgotten anything?

OP posts:

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dinkystinkyclaus · 19/12/2008 08:35

to end up having to mainline gaviscon for most of your pregnancy?
to deal with all those "oh you're ready to pop" and "is it twins" comments?
to deal with basically a second puberty again (spots galore, sweats galore, hormones out of control, body hair sprouting in the most unexpected places...)?
to be expected to organise everything to do with the new arrival - and everything else you normally do?
to get to grips with breastfeeding and all the worries that can bring when little one arrives?
to spend hours with cabbage leaves down their tops (and that delightful cooked cabbage smell following you around the rest of the day)?
To be able to use their brain at all despite pregnancy brain attacking?

There's a good reason why men dont do it LBB - they'd never be able to cope! I think all females of our species deserve an enormous pat on the back - and a medal!