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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Is it normal during pregnancy to worry that your baby may be ugly?

52 replies

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:23

I am only saying this as I had this discussion today with a pregnant friend and she agreed that although it is one of the most ridiculous things to think, it does cross her mind and I will admit that it has crossed mine during all 3 of my pregnancies. I think it is a fear of rejecting your child, a bit like animals do.

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MrsMattie · 12/12/2008 21:24

You wont think your own baby is ugly.

hf128219 · 12/12/2008 21:24

Well I do think it depends on the parentage too. Are you ugly?

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:25

I know, it is strange though, I think it is because you cannot picture how your baby will look so you start to panic.

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spudballoo · 12/12/2008 21:25

Erm, yes I did. Especially since both mine looked as ugly as sin in their 4D scans. And, worse, after DS1 was absolutely beautiful....I worred for DS2. At birth he was equally gorgeous but the, scream, something happened and he was Not Lovely for about a year. It's evened out now. I'm very shallow as a person btw?

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:25

hf12, you can judge me, there is a pic on my profile. {wink]

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bookthief · 12/12/2008 21:26

yes, this did cross my mind.

In my defence, I had recently seen dh's baby photos for the first time and he wasn't bonny .

Of course ds was the most gorgeous newborn ever, to the extent that I felt a bit sorry for the other mothers in the ward. I believe that's pretty common too.

Gemzooks · 12/12/2008 21:26

when my DS was born I was amazed because he was so beautiful and good looking, and other newborns I had seen were all shrivelled up and weird. When he was about 8 months old I looked back at the newborn photos, and of course he was just as shrivelled up as any other newborn! Your perception is so altered that even if your baby was especially ugly, you wouldn't care. Also, ugly babies get better looking etc..

littlelamb · 12/12/2008 21:28

Not ugly, but I did worry that ds would be born looking like harry potter Dp is the spitting image of him ,he has the scar and everything. Am happy to report that he looks normal

NotanOtter · 12/12/2008 21:29

yes i do always worry

very shallow i know

hf128219 · 12/12/2008 21:29

You are definitely not ugly! Very pretty in fact. You will have no problem!

But there are some right unattractive babies out there. Sorry!

diginglebells · 12/12/2008 21:30

I spent my pregnancy wondering what my baby would look like. When he came out I searched his face for recognisable features, did he look like me? Did he look like his dad? Nope, he looked like a squashed little eskimo. Then for the next 4 weeks he looked like a little old man. But a few days after he was born I began to get over the (initial) sense of shock and bewilderment that becoming a mother does to you and saw my beautiful baby boy for what he was. A total cutie. I look back on those labour room photos and think, aah how sweet (when at the time I was thinking, what are you like?)

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:31

Glad I am not the only one!

DD2 especially is extremely pretty and I worry that DD3 will be ugly and people will think "ahh poor baby, look how pretty your sister is and you are butt ugly"

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pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:32

thanks hf12, feeling a bit ugly atm though, 2nd pregnancy in 18 months and just want to get back to normal.

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devoutsceptic · 12/12/2008 21:32

never occurred to me.

VirginBoffinMum · 12/12/2008 21:34

I was extraordinarily ugly as a baby and it was never a problem!! I looked like a blardy gorilla.

hf128219 · 12/12/2008 21:35

It's tough! There are only 10 months and 3 weeks between my husband and his sister - that is almost illegal!

ranirani · 12/12/2008 21:35

not ugly, but with some kind of deficiency, if you know what I mean.....I just need a healthy child...

schneebly · 12/12/2008 21:36

DH and I aren't exactly good looking but I was cute as a child and having seen the most gorgeous baby pics of my DH I thought "well at least they should be cute when they are little" As it happens everyone thought DS1 was very gorgeous from day one but when DS2 was born he was a little more 'squished' looking and he had bad skin for ages poor boy. However he has turned out to be pretty gorgeous I think! There are pics on my profile if you are interested.

VirginBoffinMum · 12/12/2008 21:37

Two of mine are technically disabled. I can't say I give a really because they are so such fun. Really, I am not heroic or anything, they are such brilliant characters.

beansontoast · 12/12/2008 21:38

my dp and i both have 'characterful' faces...and so does ds.

i spent my pregnancy wondering on and off whether the baby might be stunning...and what would we do then?! lol

pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:38

LOL, 10 months 3 weeks Have to say that DH pounced on me 6 weeks after having DD1 so I can see how easily it happens. Bar the fact I was breast feeding DD2, I think I too would have been caught within 6/8 weeks of having her. (was supposed to be infertile so never needed contraception, DD2 and DD3 are both total shocks)

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pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:39

Virgin, It probably is true, the more character they have, the more beautiful they are. Some of the most beautiful people in the world are probably incredibly dull.

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pgwithnumber3 · 12/12/2008 21:41

schneebly, they are gorgeous boys.

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shopaholicDIVA · 12/12/2008 21:45

i must admit with dd, my first pregnancy i used think that. and my mum used to say, your own child is never ugly. i loved dd from first time i saw her, she was most beautiful thing i ever made. i often tell her this.
with ds it never happened, and he was as gorgeous as his sister

hollyivypoppy34 · 12/12/2008 21:46

completely agree (and given I had quite a difficult pregnancy history you'd think I'd have better thing to worry about )..and completely agree re the 3d scans- asked the scan man to stop doing them as it made dd look like morph.. fortunately she doesn't

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