Stress/sadness in late pregnancy

[Mip]

Sorry if this seems like a silly question but people have been telling me different things and now I'm beginning to feel scared.

Dh's best friend died a week ago and it's her funeral tomorrow. It will be a truly horrific day, she was absolutely wonderful, a young woman with a one year girl and a big loving family who we know well and a huge group of friends; all of whom will of course be there. I want to go as I want to support my dh who is so sad and keeps crying which I can't bear. However when I tell people I will be going they say that that's really bad for the baby (I am due on Friday). I remember the baby's heart rate being v fast the other day when I had been stressing to my mw app. in the heat and my bp was high, so I know that what I'm feeling can affect the baby. Now I'm terrified that the atmosphere will be so awful that the baby will freak. Obv this is not my grief, however sad I am about her death, but still it will be a very horrible day.

Does anyone know the medical truth behind this? Thank you.

[gem1981]

I am not surprised you and your husband are upset - it sounds like a really sad situation.

i don't know the medical truth behind this but did not want your post to go unanswered.

I have been to 2 funerals of close family memebers in both of my pregnancies (I was in my first trimester at both) and I was worried about the stress having an effect on the baby everything was fine though,

maybe a quick call to your Mw to reassure you is in order? In any case it is best to keep as calm as possible for your own health as much as the baby's.

Hopefully someone will come laong who knows a little bit more than I do.

[izzybiz]

My SIL had to bury her own Dd1 at 30 weeks pregnant with Dd2 Her Dd2 was fine.

Really sorry for your DH and yourself. x

[scorpio1]

Hi

My Nan died when i was 39 weeks pg. My baby's heart rate was fast too at my MW appt (appt was the day i found out) but they put me o na trace, and when i calmed down and closed my eyes it slowed back down.

My baby didnt come until 41 weeks - others came at 39 - i really think this is because my body knew i wouldn't cope just yet.

Sorry for you

[greenlawn]

Sorry to hear your sad story. One of my unborn twins died at 32 weeks then I had to go through the rest of the pregnancy hoping the other would be OK, very worried that he would be affected by the stress and grief. He was fine, in honesty it was me that suffered mentally/emotionally, he was unaffected. Look after yourself physically, and the baby will be fine - they are remarkably resilient. Long term stress over the course of the whole pregnancy would be far more worrying ...

[Mip]

Thanks so much all of you for your lovely messages, and I am so very sorry for all your own or your family's losses. Your posts have been reassuring though, thank you. I did actually talk to my midwife yesterday as I had an appointment anyway. She said she thought it was ok but then as I left she said she hoped we had a great trip (the funeral is a few hours out of town in the countryside) even if it was for a 'sad reason'. ???. Kind of left me feeling she hadn't quite understood the situation!

[Mip]

Greenlaw, sorry cross posted with you. Thank you so much for posting, I am so sorry about your baby - I can't imagine how terrible that was and then to worry about the health of your other child.