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Feel so ashamed....just found out the sex

(84 Posts)
FeelingSoAshamed Fri 30-May-08 12:19:44

I have changed my name for this as I am too ashamed to use my regular name.

I am 12 weeks pg with DC3 and have just had my nuchal scan - all fine. At the end, the sonographer said, "shall we have a look to see if it's a boy or a girl?" and I readily agreed. He said that at this stage, there is an 80% chance of being correct as you are looking for a shape. Apparently, girls' bit slant to the side whereas boys' point upwards.

It's a boy - and I am gutted. I have 2 DDs already and assumed that I would have another one. If I am really honest I would probably have wanted another girl if I had had a choice. DH is over the mooon, esp as this baby was unplanned and he has been a bit hesitant about it until now. I can't believe how dreadful I feel. And I also can't believe what a shitty person I am for feeling like this. My beautiful baby is healthy and I had the best odds of all being well out of all 3 pregancies.

I am now at home and having a little cry. My girls are out til 2pm. I love them so much and have such a wonderful relationship with them, I just don't know how I am going to have the same with a boy. I simply can't imagine being the mother of a boy, but I obviously am going to be so need to get used to it.

Thanks for reading this far - please can someone give me a round slap around the head and tell me it'll all be OK? I know in the grand scheme of things this is a daft thing to be upset about but I can't help it.

TIA

hercules1 Fri 30-May-08 12:20:36

I think you are allowed to have a little weep. smile

Berrie Fri 30-May-08 12:22:39

I wanted another boy when I got pregant the 2nd time. I was scared of having a girl. It was a girl and all my fears melted away.
I'm sure that you will love your boy too! smile

sarah293 Fri 30-May-08 12:22:45

it will be ok. I have 2 boys and 2 girls and the girls give me muh more grief!

bogie Fri 30-May-08 12:23:29

It will be fine I am having a girl this time and I wanted another boy because my ds is so much fun and I love everything he does.
Im sure your just feeling like this because its the unknown you will love it when he arrives

controlfreakyagain Fri 30-May-08 12:23:41

when you've stopped blubbing for the dd you thought you were having..... remember, boys are FAB!
... and how reliable is sexong at 12 week scan hmm?

anorak Fri 30-May-08 12:26:13

I had two girls and then a boy, much later when i thought I was finished with having kids. I felt like you, I liked little girls, and although I played a large part in bringing up my brother, it was decades before, and I felt these little hoodlums wearing football kit and riding bikes were off my radar.

But I now have a 7 yr old with a crew cut, football kit and bike, and I adore him. He is funny, loving and sweet as well as football-mad and full of energy. Don't be afraid, you are going to have a son, and he is going to be wonderful and you will love him to pieces. You won't be able to resist him.

Sus19 Fri 30-May-08 12:26:33

When you're 12 weeks pregnant remember that your hormones are having a big effect on how you think about things. Don't feel guilty about how you feel I'm sure a lot of women if they're honest would admit to mixed feelings about having either a boy or a girl. When you've had some time to get used to the idea you'll probably start to get really excited about the idea of a little boy running around the place. Think how your girls can dress him up. The crux of it is that this was an unplanned preg so you're probably still getting over the shock of that - to then be told its a boy when you hoped for a girl maybe feels like a double whammy,.
Don't be too hard on yourself - have a cry and start to think positively about all the things a little boy will add to your family )
good luck

PortAndLemon Fri 30-May-08 12:26:51

<<slaps FSA>> It'll all be OK...

I think it's natural to be a bit thrown for a while, especially if you were expecting the other sex -- to an extent you are mourning the DC who existed in your head but you're not going to have. I didn't have any real preferences, and have a DS and a DD, but each time I've felt that my baby is the opposite sex from what it's turned out to be, and each time I've felt a bit sad for a few days at losing my imaginary DC.

Have a little weep if you like. I thought I might be disappointed when my scan showed I was having a boy. I already have a DD and when I got pregnant I imagined I'd like another girl.

However.......

my gorgeous son is now 3 months old and he is the best baby ever. Little boys, I have found, are magical. All the parents of boys I know sing their praises.

I bought this book Raising Boys and I found it very helpful.

And last but not least, congratulations on your pregnancy.

jassara Fri 30-May-08 12:27:31

Boys are wonderful i have 2, and every day they say 'luv you mom' and give me a big hug. They always seem close to their mommies, you'll love it!

i have had a few boys when the 'ordered' gender was girl and am sooo in love and happy , you wait and see!

popsycal Fri 30-May-08 12:29:24

Boys are fabulous. They really, truely are!

DH was a little upset (no, that is too strong a word really) when we found out that ds3 was ds3 not a dd but he is totally fine with it.

Once you get used to the idea of something 'different' you will see that boys are brill.

Elmosgirl Fri 30-May-08 12:29:59

It's ok to have a cry, if it is any consolation I have 2 dd's, we will probably have a third child at some point. I think initially I would feel similar to being told it was a boy, I just can't imagine being a parent to a boy at all.

But they will all be your children regardless of their sex and i'm sure you don't need us to tell you that when the time comes you will love him just the same....to start with they are all just gorgeous newborn babies anyway.

Dior Fri 30-May-08 12:31:23

Message withdrawn

PeachyWontLieToYou Fri 30-May-08 12:32:09

boys are fab (I should know, have 4!)

its ok to be a bit upset... esp. with hormones- but the rlationship between a little boy and his Mum is magical.

give yuorself a bit of space to adjjust, it'll all be fine

TsarChasm Fri 30-May-08 12:34:14

It's probably just the feeling of the unknown. You know all about little girls and no doubt are a wonderful mummmy to them.

You're in for a lovely treat though. A little chap is just as wonderful I promise (I have two girls and a boy) You won't regeret it. He'll be a joy.

ceebee74 Fri 30-May-08 12:34:38

I don't think you are alone in this!

I am having similar feelings - am 14 weeks pg, already have one DS and I cannot imagine having a girl (and neither can DH) - my DS is the light of my life and I can't even start to imagine having those feelings for a baby girl! Dh has never been around baby girls and is very nervous at the thought.

If, when we have the 20-week scan, it turns out to be a girl, I am fully expecting to go through the same emotions that you are going through smile

I think it is definitely a case of 'better the devil you know'.

I agree with the others, it is a fear of the unknown.

I was the same when I found out I was having a boy, my DD was 2yo and I was just so unsure about how I would cope with a rowdy boy.

When he was born I asked the midwife to show me how to change his nappy as I "don't do boys bits".

Now he is almost 4yo and the most affectionate lovely little darling imaginable. Yes, he can be rowdy and he is as stubborn as a mule but he is always ready to give me or his sister a cuddle.

DS was much much easier in the terrible twos than his sister.

Have a look at my photos, he is such a sweetie. Just imagine, that could be your little darling in 4 years time.

Allow yourself time to come to terms with the surprise, weep a bit and then think about the fab things about boys.

bogwobbit Fri 30-May-08 12:46:45

Don't feel ashamed. You had a picture in your mind of the baby you were having which has been 'shattered' (probably too strong a word but you know what I mean) and that plus hormones is putting your emotions into overdrive.
I had 2 dds then a ds (and then many years later another dd). I loved my dds and when I had my ds I found I loved him just as much. You will too, I'm sure of it. So, of course it will be 'all right' in fact it'll be better than all right.
Most important thing now, is be nice to yourself and don't beat yourself up over feeling disappointed.

FeelingSoAshamed Fri 30-May-08 13:39:01

Thanks so much everyone. You have made me feel so much better smile. I know rationally that it will be OK but the emotional part of me still feels a bit odd. I am sure once I "get over" the girl I am not having it will be fine.

Thanks again.

Rowlers Fri 30-May-08 13:43:11

I felt similarly.
Was so besotted with first bord dd that I thought second time around that I could only love another little girl.
When ds arrrived, I was instantly over the moon. It felt just right.

LynetteScavo Fri 30-May-08 13:47:13

Whe I found out the sex of DD I burts into tears and said "I don't wan't a girl" It wasn't really that I didn't want a girl, I was just expecting another boy, already having 2.

I think it's natural to want another of what you already have.

Eve34 Fri 30-May-08 13:51:26

We have agreed that we could try for another baby, the things that is stopping me is I would really like another boy. I know it is terribly ungrateful of me and I count my blessings but I so would like another boy I don't know how I would react if we were to be having a girl.

I had my 20 week scan on Wednesday and felt just the same, I have a sister and a DD so I am used to girls. I enjoy girls and feel confident with them, also liked the idea of being able to re-use all her clothes etc again. Anyway the scan showed that the baby is a boy and although I thought I was not bothered about the sex I was disappointed sad. I had a good cry and today I feel much better.

I can't imagine being the mother of boys either but have decided to do everything I can such as reading books about raising boys and starting to buy baby boys clothes. I know this will make me positive about having a boy smile

Enid Fri 30-May-08 13:54:30

12 weeks is really early. It could be wrong.

But good that you get the tears out of the way now. You KNOW how much you will love him when he is born dont you?

aGalChangedHerName Fri 30-May-08 13:54:33

You will love your little boy just as much as your dd's i promise!!!

I had 2 boys and had 2 dd's much later. I was gobsmacked when dd1 was born as i had longed for another ds. I am now the proud and besotted mum to 2 ds's and 2 fab dd's.

Give yourself time xx

OrangeKnickers Fri 30-May-08 14:01:27

I always thought I would have a dd, and couldn't imagine having a nasty smelly boy baby.

But...... now ds is 11mths and I wouldn't change him for all the tea in china. In fact now I really hope that I have all boys as I want a tribe.

fifisworld Fri 30-May-08 14:01:35

Boy's are fab..ive got 2 really close together ds1 has just turned 2 and ds2 is 5 month, and if im honest....i dont think i'll have anymore kids for a number of reasons, but mainly because i don't know how i'd feel if it was a girl blush

I know that sounds really so awful but i think its just coz im used to having boys, just like you are with your girls...but im sure you'll love your boy just as you do with your dd's smile

claireybee Fri 30-May-08 14:07:48

I didn't find out the sex with DS (2nd child) and thought I wouldn't mind either way but I have to admit once he was born there was a hint of disappointment that he wasn't another girl. It lasted maybe a week or so but now I am glad and always say I'm happy we had a boy else I wouldn't know how good boys could be!

At least finding out now you have plenty of time to get used to the idea before he is bornin a month or so you'll probably be walking around mothercare getting excited by all the little boy outfits

hunkermunker Fri 30-May-08 14:08:54

<slap>

It'll be fine.

Pull yourself together.

Enid Fri 30-May-08 14:15:32

lol hunker

although I have suspicion you would have told me off for saying similar wink

hunkermunker Fri 30-May-08 14:17:13

You wouldn't have said similar though - I'm the boy fan round here wink

<grows DS2's hair long so the plaiting works>

FrannyandZooey Fri 30-May-08 14:17:46

oh gosh boys are SO delicious
do your cry and then go and buy something sweet for him

dizzydixies Fri 30-May-08 14:18:41

its why I haven't dound out the sex of this one as I already have 2dd and presume I'll have another

my friend was distraught when she found out her dc3 was a boy and and not another girl as she'd expected but you want to see her with him now, she wouldn't be without him in any sense

am sure its just an immediate reaction to the shock of something a little bit different

pmsl @ Hunker grin

hunkermunker Fri 30-May-08 14:19:16

Anyway, Enid, I just like telling you off. Gwan, let me.

Enid Fri 30-May-08 14:20:19

anyway, just think of how much you will please all the old ladies who will assume you are trying for a boy (the Holy Grail after 2 x dds hmm)

Boys rock.

<<strokes OPs hair gently>>

Swedes Fri 30-May-08 14:24:10

Congratulations. I'm glad all was well with the nuchal scan.

pofaced Fri 30-May-08 14:25:25

Don't beat yourself up about it... better to acknowledge the emotion now than later. I too had an unplanned 3rd preganancy (after 2DDs) & was petrified it was a boy, as was DH: basically we thought that even if it was unplanned we'd know how to deal with a girl (ie slot her in) where as a boy was a whole new dimension. We had the prospect of 3 under 3 with the youngest one being testosterone filled

As it turned out, DC3 was a DD but now that plenty of time has passed and I have 3 wonderful healthy DDs there's a bit of me that wishes somewhere along the way we had a boy in the family: it'd be nice for the girls to have a brother, me to have a boy, DH a son to potter about the garden in that boy way... DH loathes football and other socially acceptable manifestations of masculinity but is terribly sweet in a way he doesn't even notice with little boys eg saying "careful son" when they are doing something potentially risky. He is naturally much more physically cautious than I am and it's only since DDs got to school age that I realise how restricted they've been in terms of eg climbing trees: they had no interest in it so we didn't push them to but if they had a brother perhaps this might have happened naturally. As it is, we've had to actively push them a bit and now you couldn't find a bigger band on tom boys.

I guess what I am saying is that the world is made up of men and women and it's nice for families to reflect that!

wasabipeanut Fri 30-May-08 14:27:25

You shouldn't be ashamed. We all have wobbly, hormonal moments when all rational thought goes out the window.

But speaking as the mother of a son I think you are one lucky lady. Boys are just lovely and afectionate and just <<drifts off into lovely snuggly baby thoughts>>

God I'm broody.

It's quite normal to feel like this IMO. We found out this week that we're having a boy too, and I had been hoping for another dd. I was/am a bit disappointed, but have been advised that all I need to know is that boys bash stuff and like sticks and stones and snails grin. Am getting used to the idea now.

MILF - have you forgotten about the ante-natal thread you joined? Pop over and say hello!

solo Fri 30-May-08 14:30:51

Little boys love their mummies soooo much. You will get used to the idea given time and you'll love him very much I'm sure. I felt the same with Ds but for very different reasons and he was my first pg through to fruition. He's fabulous!

largeginandtonic Fri 30-May-08 14:32:06

Oh i do love little boys, they are so sweet and loving. I find my dd such a struggle compared to them. I am pregnant too and may have a little weep when i find out this one is a girl (i have a sneaking suspision)

It will all be ok smile

AS a mother of four boys i would say that advice is sooo wrong csws

boys are more gentle imo - more loving
those stereotypes of thuggish boys is what give boys a bad name

S'ok BM - dd likes stones and snails too grin. Thanks for your CAT btw .

Sazisi Fri 30-May-08 14:39:20

He'll be lovely
And just think what a wonderful man he'll grow up to be with 2 big sisters to teach him about the world!

sweetkitty Fri 30-May-08 14:42:04

I have 2 DDs and if I am totally honest wanted DB3 to be a DS, mainly for DP as I knew he really wanted a little boy not that he doesn't adore the girls. DP is also the only son of an only son and both out families are so girl heavy.

I thought DD3 was going to be a DS and was so shocked at the scan, did feel disappointed, not at having another girl but at the thought we won't ever have a son.

But you know what the disappointment lasted about half an hour and now we can't wait to meet DD3, she has her name and drawers full of little pink things waiting on her, the DDs are delighted they are getting another sister and ask every day when she is coming out.

Enid Fri 30-May-08 14:42:09

boys are NOT more gentle and more loving

children are gentle and loving

or not, as the case may be

I understand we want to reassure the op but dont let this turn into a boys are better than girls thread

methinks that will never happen enid

MKG Fri 30-May-08 14:45:47

Don't too much into what the tech said. Mine told me dc2 was a girl and I was so happy I started buying dresses. Well at the 20 week scan was told dc2 was going to ds2. Was in labor still hoping for a girl.

Needless to say boys are awesome!!

pofaced Fri 30-May-08 15:10:40

hope you didn't think my post was of the "one sort better than the other"... point I was trying to make is that a bit of variety is nice and boys and girls are different and nice to have some variety, no more than that!

minniedot Fri 30-May-08 15:31:12

Just be thankful that all is well with your baby and fwiw 12 week is to early to be accurate about the sex, you still may be having a dd.

SummatAndNowt Fri 30-May-08 15:49:41

It will be okay!

It's understandable because it's fear of the unknown. You have experience of dd's and know how close your relationship can be through this experience. If you do have a boy it could well be the same.

The fact is, even if you had another dd there is no guarantee it would be like with your first two, she could have a personality the polar opposite to yours and her older siblings.

I was a tad disappointed when I found out ds was a boy, because I knew little about these strange male creatures. And now... well I would be scared if when I had another one it was going to be a girl because I am so used to having a boy and we have a great relationship.

It's all just sooo emotional and full of hopes and fears till we have our babies in our arms and it doesn't really matter!

expatinscotland Fri 30-May-08 15:51:29

12 weeks is not far along enough to tell definitively at all.

Wait till your 20-22 weeks one.

Look on it this way - you are lucky enough to have two beautiful daughters and now, you get to experience the OTHER SIDE (should I say dark side grin).

I have a DS who is 16mo. I was convinced that I was having a girl as all of my family have girls, my sis has twin DDs so when my little man popped out I was absolutely gobsmacked.

However, he is THE MOST fabulous litte dude you have ever seen. He is boisterous in a cute way, makes me giggle, snuggles up to me and loves cuddles but also enjoys kicking a ball around with his daddy in the garden.

IMO you have the best of both worlds with both girls and a boy!

Don't feel guilty about feeling a bit odd and disappointed - it is natural if you had a bit of a preference either way but once you have got your head round it, I promise little boys are magical.

expatinscotland Fri 30-May-08 15:58:04

Exactly, minnie. MOST places won't even speculate on the gender at the nuchal scan because it is too early. And also the point of the scan is to take accurate measurements of the foetus.

I honestly wouldn't pay any mind to such predictions until the 20-22 week scan.

foxythesnowfox Fri 30-May-08 16:00:11

Aww, don't cry!

You have months to get used to the idea smile.

There's something about 'Mummy's boys' which is special. No less special than your relationship with your DDs, no more special,but different. Boys are different, but he'll be chilled out because he's your third (IME). It may be a different experience, because I believe they are just wired differently.

BTW I have 2 boys/2 girls. Gender, position in the family all go to make up who they are, his sisters will be a big influence and they'll have lots of fun with him. I bet they will just love having a baby brother.

Don't panic. I'm not going to tell you it will be fine because I don't need to. It will be. You'll look at him and think 'my son' and your heart will burst with love. smile

Sorry, got all soppy there. blush

lilibet Fri 30-May-08 16:04:47

I never ever ever wanted a boy, but the second I saw my ds1 I was head over heels in love (and he was a pretty ugly baby!!)

If I had found out at 12 weeks I would have been inconsolable and I know everyoen is saying the same but jsut wait till you meet him - boys really are just as lovely as girls

And when he is 15, has had a growth spurt so is far too tall for his weight, is very hairy, has a bad bout of spots and he has let his mate cut his hair for a bet, and you still think he is the most gorgeous teenage boy ever to walk the earth, remember me!

I find it hard to believe that the accuracy of gender prediction is 80% at 12 weeks. Really?

I mean, I thought that the genitals looked almost the same at that age.

Crystaltipsandalaistar Fri 30-May-08 16:22:43

i have three boys , and was gutted that ds 2 wasn't a girl. But I was completely happy that ds3 was a boy.
To me, now, they are 'my children', I don't look at them and think boy boy boy!
Ilove them to bits and wouldn't swap them for anything., They are very cuddly little boys and I belive boys are more affectionate than girls, and my little one, age 6, shouts to me 20 times a day 'love you mum' whether we are at the park, the shops, or coming out of school. I truly feel loved! They are great company too. maybe the only difference is that they have more energy - like a dog they need a run every day!

MKG Fri 30-May-08 16:25:42

And just think, with boys you will be the woman that all others will be compared to forever.

belgo Fri 30-May-08 16:25:54

I'm very surprised that the sosnographer even offered to look for you.

I know someone who was told she was having a boy at her 12 week scan. She then told everyone she was having a boy. Her DD2 was born 6 months later.

expatinscotland Fri 30-May-08 16:29:59

the clitoris and penis look VERY similar when they begin to develop in the foetus.

seriously, there is every chance you are carrying a girl.

12 weeks is WAY too early.

the only way to tell with any certainty at that stage of gestation is with a CVS.

FeelingSoAshamed Fri 30-May-08 19:52:51

Gosh, what a lot of messages! Thank you so much for your kind responses. I've been out with a friend and her delicious DS! I think it is the idea which is freaking me out rather than the reality. My girls are particularly yummy at the moment and I just want another baby as lovely and loving as they are. However, in my rational moments I realise that a boy would be as lovely (and a girl might have a completely different personality to the other 2!)

I think the obstetrician was trying to be helpful in seeing the bits. He said from the front view all babies look the same at 12 weeks but the slant from the side view (to the side for girls and vertical for boys) was an indicator. He did say 80% though, which might be a bit ambitious. At my 12 w scan for DD2 the obs thought girl and was correct. However, you are of course completely right and the important bit was the measurements and the fact that the baby is healthy.

Thanks everyone for the responses. I really appreciate them.

Boys are lovely, just lovely. I have two sisters and couldn't imagine having a boy but it has been just fabulous. So sweet and funny and he lurves his mummy. Ok so he's only 16mo but my friend who has a 5yr old DS and a baby DD says the same thing - very loving and nice.

spicemonster Fri 30-May-08 20:14:42

I'm not surprised you feel like this. As others have said - I suspect it's about fear of the unknown. I adore my DS and if I were to have another baby, I think I'd be a bit freaked out if it were a girl. Just because I know how to look after boys now and I've got my head round to being a mum of a boy and all that entails. But you'll learn how to do it. And your lovely DDs will adore him and you can go and buy him a whole new wardrobe just for him.

I think in the end you'll relish the difference between the two. And I do think boys are generally more cuddly than girls which is utterly delicious I promise

Tinkjon Sat 31-May-08 00:01:42

I have a DD and when I was pregnant I really wanted another girl. I thought I would be quite disappointed if I had a boy and it made me feel awful to think that, because what everybody should want is just a healthy baby, of course, as you said. BUT you can't change your feelings and it would be wrong to do so - so you are perfectly entitled to feel sad. But what I will say is that when I had the baby and they said "it's a boy" I felt about a nano-second of disappointment and then it instantly transformed into "Wow, I have a SON!!! Fantastic!!!" - so you won't believe how quickly your feelings will turn around once you meet him, I promise Also it's an old cliche, but a lot of people say that girls grow up to be really independent of you and lead their own lives, but a boy is always very attached to his mum. True or not, it's a nice thought.

Boys can be totally yummy and adorable and completely edible too. I think you will be surprised by the love, affection, giggles, hugs and snuggles, grins, and soft lovely skin, little boys have. smile I am totally besotted with mine. You will be with yours, too.

debinaustria Sat 31-May-08 02:00:56

so many people feel exactly the same as you - I did when i found out that ds3 was on his way, the feeling didn't last too long and I am sure you will adore your lovely boy.

slinkiemalinki Sat 31-May-08 21:29:59

12 weeks isn't too - early - read up on "angle of the dangle" - very high likelihood of getting a boy right at 12 w (though not earlier). My OB was right on at 12w exactly. I think you will be over the moon with your little boy - just like your DH is already - it's just the fear of what's different. Have a happy healthy pregnancy and enjoy having 6 months to get excited about it!

chipmonkey Sun 01-Jun-08 00:07:03

FeelingSoAshamed, do you know what's really funny? The obs probably thought you would be delighted to be told you were having a boy after 2 girls!grin He'd probably be shock to think he's had the opposite effect entirely!

We were having a discussion about this in work one day and a colleague who is one of 4 girls herself said she didn't think she'd like to have a boy as she didn't know what to do with one. My other colleague who was pg, said
"No, I like little boys, they're just like little girls, they just like different things."
Which is really the truth at the end of the day.

Mind you, I have 4 boys and ended up stomping back into the house in a rage earlier because I was sitting in the garden having a lovely glass of wine when I was hit quite hard in the back with a football! But other than that they are lovely!

brucelovesfrumpygrumpy Sun 01-Jun-08 00:13:16

dont be ashamed!!! grin

After one DD, I didn't know how I would feel if I had a boy. Ended up with b/g twins. Was more than shocked grin I knew I could love another girl and I did feel a bit terrified of not loving a boy.......but my boy is just gorgeous and handsome and all encompassing and says "sleep in my bed mama" when I tuck him in and "can I kiss you again mama" and all sorts of other great things. He one told me (very, very young) I was a princess in a high up castle <<faints>>

Give yourself a little time. You will feel fine about this. Congratulations btw!!!! grin

chunkychips Sun 01-Jun-08 00:13:56

I felt like this when I found out I was having a girl. I had a ds already, which I wanted and I love little boys and wanted another and didn't know whether I would feel the same about a girl, but when she arrived I didn't really think of her as a boy or a girl really. She was a baby and did pretty much the same things that my ds had done. Now she's older, it's more obvious that she's a girl, although a tomboyish one, but it doesn't matter to me now and she's great, wouldn't change her for the world.

brucelovesfrumpygrumpy Sun 01-Jun-08 00:15:21

And I did ask a fantastic girl in the bed opposite me in hospital where to put the cream......I just didn't have a clue!! She'd only had a boy and I explained cream for girly bums to her grin

On the bum cheeks btw and never the testicles grin

feelingsoashamed Sun 01-Jun-08 00:18:36

Chipmonkey, it's the football that's worrying me! When I was lying on the scan bed, I just kept thinking "but I hate tractors and don't know anything about diggersshock".

I hadn't thought of that. The Obs was really excited doing the 3D scan, DH could not stop grinning and I just sat there feeling so sad, but putting on my dinner party face as if it was all OK. I told my DH today how I felt and he was fab, bless him.

I just feel so at sea with it all. EVERYONE I know in RL who has the first 2 the same had the 3rd the same and so I just assumed I would too. I even made a list and came up with 15 RL people who had a hatrick (not including people i "know" on here). You are right of course about it being a baby with its own personality rather than a "boy" or a "girl" but I'm still having trouble with that today. I know rationally I just need a few days to get over it and then I'll get excited but I'm struggling a bit this evening (possibly as it's so late and I am shattered)

Thanks for your message - and I take my hat off to you with 4! my 2 have been a challenge today, without DC3 adding to the mix smile

pooka Sun 01-Jun-08 00:19:14

My ds is yummy. I vaguely wanted another girl. Was used to girl nappies and wasn't sure what to do with a boy. But he is a delight, because he is so different to dd. They are chalk and cheese. BUt get on so well most of the time. He is lovely. (and so is dd)

feelingsoashamed Sun 01-Jun-08 00:21:23

Bloody hell, hadn't thought about the practicalities. Why can't you put it on the testicles if they are sore? Apologies if that's really obvious, it's a wonder I managed to beget any children with my rudimentary knowledge.

Have just put waitrose bum cream on my face in the hope of eternal youth.... need more instructions as its correct application grin

WendyWeber Sun 01-Jun-08 00:29:12

FSA, I had 2 girls first too and desperately wanted a third - this was 20 years ago so scans weren't as detailed as they are now so we didn't find out what we had until the CS delivery, and that was DS1 (and the ob actually said "IT'S A GIRL - NO IT ISN'T!" - can you imagine how my heart stopped grin)

Anyway...when you hold your new baby you love him or her just as much as the others - honest. And with DC4 I had amnio so I found out the sex at 20 weeks - again I would have liked another girl, and again it was a boy, and like you I was disappointed but by the time he arrived he was just bliss.

Boys are different but they have their own charms smile

And if it turns out that your scan was wrong and you do have a girl after all, I bet you'll miss your boy for a bit!

chunkychips Sun 01-Jun-08 00:31:06

lol at I hate tractors - learn to love them! Your daughters will probably sort him out anyway.

wendy shock at cs story!

WendyWeber Sun 01-Jun-08 00:36:21

Yes, I was a bit shock too, BM wink

BoyzntheShire Sun 01-Jun-08 00:40:07

<whispers> theres not a lot to know about tractors anyway. just point and yell excitedly when you see them, thereby distracting child so you can scoff more choc in peace, theres nowt to it smile

laughalot Mon 02-Jun-08 14:57:13

You will not beleive how loving little boys are you just wait till he pops out grin. Dont feel ashamed its a natural thing I think.

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