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Pregnancy

How hard is it to get a termination?

20 replies

Reallyquiteworried · 29/05/2008 21:58

I am incredibly worried as my period is now two months late, and I have incredibly tender breasts and am slowly putting on weight, despite actively cutting out snacks and decreasing my portion sizes, just as when I was pg with dd. I have a contraceptive implant so shouldn't be pg, but normally bleed every two weeks, so should have had 4 bleeds by now. I am an sp, my semi-long term relationship has ended, and I am a student so am not in a good place in my life to have another dc. The dad would prob want the child but is very work-orientated so spends between 12 and 14 hours a day in the office, and we live at different ends of the country, so ) I would be an sp to two children, and b) would have two different sets of access trips to make, and it just isn't feesable, I cannot do this. I'm too scared to even take a test-do they allow people to have terminations even though they are already parents? I feel so selfish as so many couples are trying so desperately.

OP posts:

Report

expatinscotland · 29/05/2008 22:00

First of all, you need to determine if you are in fact pregnant.

the symptoms you describe, including no period, are not unknown or even uncommon with the implant, especially as time goes by that it's been in your.

elkiedee · 29/05/2008 22:02

Sorry RQW to hear of your situation - do take a test now as you have a tough decision to make, or to carry through if you've decided. And you're not selfish, you have to make a decision for you and your dd.

cadelaide · 29/05/2008 22:03

Expat is right.

One step at a time, you're running ahead of yourself.

Do a pregnancy test.

Whatever the outcome, there are plenty here ready and willing to help

notjustmom · 29/05/2008 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamabea · 29/05/2008 22:05

I think you really need to be brave and take a test. If positive then talk to someone (is your GP someone you could talk to?)so that you can get perspective on this and find out what your options are. I'm sure that terminations are available to women who already have children, but please talk it through carefully with a trusted person. If you are pregnant you will need support with whatever course of action you choose to take. Take care.

Reallyquiteworried · 29/05/2008 22:06

Am tempted to bundle dd into the buggy and go and get one now but it can wait until morning, it will be fine! Thanks expat for the info about the implant-it's been in 18 months and I have had a bleed every 14 days ever since-I could set my calender by it, so am in such a tizz!

OP posts:

Piffle · 29/05/2008 22:06

test... But hypothetically no it is not more difficult to get a termination when you have a child already.
but test as if you are you need to be dated as that can affect access to termination.
Good luck x

Reallyquiteworried · 29/05/2008 22:09

They sell them at 24 hour asda's don't they? God I wish I had a car-should I go and get one now? Dd has only just got off to sleep as her friend came round to play and she got rather over excited, so don't want to take her out in the buggy (i.e. I don't want to go out in the pouring rain!), but have got myself all resolved to take a test now, oh fiddle!

OP posts:

Reallyquiteworried · 29/05/2008 22:14

Oh god now I've got my head flying off down the "you can have periods when you're pg" avenue and am convincing myself I'm too pg for a termination, I'm going to have to go and get one aren't I?

OP posts:

Piffle · 29/05/2008 22:17

no... Do a wee in a pot first thing. Get to asda grab two tests and test wee in pot ( first wee is stronger) then save other test for few days time or another if result is as you fear.

Reallyquiteworried · 29/05/2008 22:18

Thanks piffle. Urgh, am going to go and eat three pots of aero mousse!!

OP posts:

Alexa808 · 30/05/2008 05:47

Yes you should really establish if you are pregnant at all. Menses can cease with implants and coils.

You have already left it 8 weeks which is not exactly ideal. (No judgement here just urging you to get on top of things now.)

Mary Stopes (sic) is a reputable clinic: www.mariestopes.org.uk/Womens_services/Abortion.aspx

Your morning urine will have the highest dose of pregnancy hormones should you have any at all. Clearblue tests are good and def. grab 2 and if you aren't sure, boo in with your GP. People won't judge you, it's your own body, your own choice and a well-thought through one, too.

Alexa808 · 30/05/2008 05:54

PS: I'm not a 100% sure about the legal maximum for a termination but I seem to remember it's 13 weeks. You would still be on time.

One thing to bear in mind, the longer you leave it, the bigger the fetus will grow and the longer the procedure will affect your body.

The pill for abortion which induces a miscarriage is already beyond you so it would be a surgical procedure.

I don't mean to scare you, but I urge you not to take it lightly and linger too long.

gem1981 · 30/05/2008 06:19

hope you are feeling ok this morning - I can't give you any more info than the people before me but I just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you.

jennylindinha · 30/05/2008 12:13

Hi, just wanted to say good luck and I know what you are going through. Have you done a test yet? I hope you are feeling ok...

MPs have just voted for the legal abortion limit to stay at 24 weeks, so don't worry about that right now, you should have plenty of time to make an informed choice...

You must not feel guilty or selfish about this happening or about your decision (whichever one you make). It is not an easy choice, but as notjustmum has said, take the time to talk it through and then you will be able to make the right decision for you.

I wish you all the best and am thinking about you... Let us know how you get on.

notjustmom · 30/05/2008 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reallyquiteworried · 30/05/2008 15:26

PHEW!! Not pregnant! I saw so many pregnant people this morning before I had chance to get a test-I was so convinced by the time I took it that I was. I got a digital one to be extremely sure! Thank you all so much for being there for me last night-my stomach is in knots with relief! Am so tempted to go celibate just so I know I will never have a scare again!!! Thank you all xxx

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 30/05/2008 15:35

What a relief for your, RT!

If you are concerned about your contraception's reliability, by all means talk to someone at your surgery or Family Planning Clinic about it, but it's really effective as contraceptions go.

Not a very high failure rate.

If you have a really high BMI or take certain drugs for tuberculosis or epilespy or use St. John's wort, it might be worth it to discuss things further with a doctor or nurse, but you were probably counselled before getting the implant at all.

Have a glass of wine!

jennylindinha · 30/05/2008 16:06

Gosh yes, have a BIG glass of wine - and then have one for me! What a relief...

notjustmom · 30/05/2008 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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