I'm in so much pain I don't think I can cope with another 12 weeks of this, feel so so low.

[sweetkitty]

I don't know where else to put this and I know theres no one who can really help but I just need to write it down somewhere.

Last night has hit a new low for me this pregnancy (am 30+4 weeks with DD3). I have had very little sleep. I have had a cold for 2 weeks which causes bad headaches and sinusitis and toothache, have been coughing for 2 weeks non stop which has made me stress incontinent. Have the usual heartburn too. Then I have SPD and SI pain (pain front and back) so most nights I am going to bed and my whole pelivs feels like it is on fire.

Last night I have swung between shivering and being really hot. I have also pulled a muscle in my right arm from trying to reach rather then get up. From all the coughing I have sore ribs and chest today so breathing actually hurts as does drinking. I've had some paracetamol this morning but they haven't really helped.

Luckily it's bank hol so DP is here today to help but I also have a 3yo and 2yo to look after by myself (no family help) so tomorrowis going to be fun. I am going to try and get a GPs appointment tomorrow to see at least if they can do something about the cough and the maternity physio (although that didn't help last time).

I just want to wake up and not be in pain, I am resenting this baby and cannot even get myself excited about her arrival I feel so guilty as she is very much wanted and I know I should be so grateful as many women would bite my hand off to be pregnant right now. I just want her out and not to be pregnant anymore. I want to have patience with my other DDs and be able to climb the stairs to see them.

I know 11 weeks or so will fly by but right now it seems like forever. Sorry for the moan but I feel like my world is caving in and theres nothing I can do.

[duchesse]

Oh golly, it does rather sound like a low point. It probably won't help to hear this, but it will be worth it in the end... And the cold will go soon and you will feel a little better (although the SPD won't go just yet). This too shall pass.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Good morning SK.

Your symptoms sound very muck like a viral infection I had a couple of months ago. It lasted about 2 weeks and once one symptom had gone, another one arrived. I could only take paracetamol because I was also pg.

I felt so bloody awful (and tearful), and like you I got a bit incontinent from the coughing, sneezing and throwing up - but the good news is it went as soon as my symptoms went.

I don't really have much advice apart from, you will start to feel better soon, and with that the incontinence will go, and the low feelings and upset you are feeling will go.

Hang on in there and rest whenever possible, it will get better xx

[CocodeBear]

Try getting in touch with Hometart? You can elf-refer and they can provide a volunteer for 2 hours a week to help out with the kids (while you are there). I don't know if there is a long waiting list where you live, but it is worth giving it a go. I've just got in touch with them myself, for different reasons.

I sympathize, as a one-time SPD sufferer too.

She will be worth it.

Do you have any family? Could you drive to stay with family for some help? Or get them/DP to fetch you/take you?

Could DP take compassionate leave or something? Carer's leave?

Are you being induced/having an early section or anything?

[CocodeBear]

not elf-refer

self-refer

[Miaou]

And Homestart, not HomeTart (rofl at that one )

But lots of sympathies SK, I felt really ill for most of my last pregnancy and felt very low because of it; it was so hard to enjoy it. Have no advice - the only thing I could do was moan about it (which I did, lots, and it did help a bit!)

[Minkus]

Kitty you poor lovely girl, please please don't think badly of wanting your pregnancy to be over. You've had a really hard time of it with the SPD etc and this bug has got you understandably low- we all know you are not really wishing the baby wasn't there so don't worry about that bit. Don't feel you have to grin and bear it when you feel awful, this is the perfet place to let it all out if you don't get much outside support in rl.

Have no practical advice to give sadly- but you do not bring the July antenatal thread down when you post about your pain- that is what we are all here for so post away without worrying.

Just wanted to send some love and best wishes your way, sorry can't be of more practical help xxx

[sweetkitty]

lol @ hometart

I'm in Scotland so don't know how homestart works here, I have asked my HV to write a letter to DD1's nursery asking if DD2 can start early in the toddler room but although they have had the letter they have yet to get back to me, they seemed not that interested said I would have more of a chance is I had drug or alcohol problems

DP is trying to arrange something at work where he works at home even one day a week, he is out the house 6.30-6.30pm as it is and has just started a new job so is mega stressed and busy about it.

Family completely not an option.

I feel so guilty as I chose to get pregnant knowing that the chances were I was going to get SPD/SI pain again but this time it has really been terrible. I have been reading some harrowing stories on here this morning and it makes my problems seem so trivial.

[isaidno]

(((hug)))

[mummypig]

oh sweetkitty really thinking of you and hope the infection and sinus pain disappear soon. Can't offer much practical help unfortunately. You could try Homestart if they are around in Scotland, but in some areas (like mine) they have a big waiting list and not enough volunteers to go around. You could also try talking to your health visitor about other sources of help as she sounds sympathetic. I always suspected if I'd been referred by the HV to Homestart rather than self-referred I might have gone higher up the list.

Anyway hugs to you, hope you have a relaxing time today at least.

[mummypig]

p.s. didn't you say you were getting a postnatal doula? Is there any chance she could come round beforehand a few times to help you out?

[CocodeBear]

omg, sorry about the typos. Hometart! Sounds a bit specialized LOL.

Chances are you'll feel more optimistic once the bug's over...

It's very unfair, some women breeze through pregnancy, whereas others have such a tough time.

Best of luck x

[OracleInaCoracle]

sk, im so sorry you are having such a rough time x this too will pass.

[mcchesers]

www.home-start.org.uk/needsupport/

SK- I think they gots the hometarts here in Glasgow too! My heart absolutely goes out to you hon. Don't feel guilty..I know how bad you wanted this little girl and she's going to make your table complete. The GP should be able to help with something. I'm only just now getting a glimpse of what you must be going through with the SPD.

I would suggest snufflebabe and keep doing the steam inhaling..it will make a difference in how you sleep. That's all I had when I had the MF superbug cold this winter. Things are going to change, and this won't last long. We don't have far to go now!! Big hugs to motherwell!!

[sweetkitty]

No unfortunately HV was a bit useless she said if DD2 had developmental problems or we had drug or alcohol issues in the family we would get a free nursery place quicker.

mummypig - no I am not getting a post natal doula (I wish) postnatally I should be fine as all the pelvic stuff will go soon as the babies out.

DD1's nursery has a toddler room but it's only for deprived children or children with developmental issues. I cannot even pay to get her into it hence asking for the HV referral. The only private bursery is the other side of town which is a nightmare to get to and would mean two nursery runs a day.

I just want my baby out and not to be pregnant anymore, I said to DP I want to hibernate for 10 weeks and wake up with a baby.

[kitkat9]

Hi

I totally understand how bad you're feeling - I was the same with dd. It is a nightmare. The SPD is unbearable, I know. The only thing that helped me was acupuncture - it almost completely relieved my pain and let me function again. Is there any way you could get referred by your gp or midwife, or shell out for a couple of sessions yourself. I can't begin to tell you how amazing it was - if I hadn't had the treatment I don't know how I would have coped, especially that most evenings I was literally crawling around as I couldn't bear to stand up.

I too couldn't wait to get the baby out, and believe me when I tell you that the pain pretty much disappears as soon as you give birth. Just keep thinking, this too shall pass - it will, I promise.

Also, I remember my midwife prescribing me much stronger painkillers that just paracetomol - I think they were co-codamol (I could be wrong) which helped much more than stupid, useless paracetomol! They at least let me get to sleep at night.

I hope you're feeling better soon - try not to focus on how long it is till you have your baby, just get through each day the best you can.

[CilC]

SweetKitty so sorry to hear how you are feeling. Try and get some pain relief prescribed if you can. I know the pain and at times it is just too too much. I have had good days and some very low days...so you are not alone.
Take care and do not feel bad discussing this in our ante thread. I think there are a lot of us who can truly sympathise...

[pinkypig]

Hi SK,

I am 29 weeks and suffering with terrible insomnia. I know what you mean when you say you want to hibernate and wake up with the baby here...I also have DS1 (20 months) to run round after.

I am trying to take it day by day and am going to try some alternative medicine (acupuncture/homeopathy) to try to get through to July in one piece.

You are not alone - hang in there!

PP

[AussieSim]

I second Pinkypig - try some alternative treatments - naturopathy/homeopathy, massage and acupuncture have really help me through my last pregnancy and this one (37+3), as well as a fantastic full body pregnancy pillow that will serve as a breast feeding pillow when DD1 is here. Don't feel you need to suffer through it.

[catsypug]

Big Hugs SK - I know exactly how you are feeling. I've been the same this pregnancy - flu for 6 weeks ending in bronchitus (vomiting blood, unable to breathe) sinusitus (ending up in a brain scan as they thought it was a blood clot my headaches were so excrutiating) Every cold and stomach bug going. Am anaemic now and my hayfever has just started with avengance so I felt dreadful yesterday. I too am alone with a 2yo DD and no support from family and husband mega busy.

I feel guilty for not having much energy for my DD. She's only at nursery for 2 hours a day, 3 days a week so it really isn't much of a break for me - poor thing just entertained herself running round in circles yesterday while I lay slumped on the sofa watching her! Or I get her to read me books in bed - so I can just lay there and she reads!

I want this pregnancy over with too and I know what you mean when you say you feel ungrateful for saying that as there are women who would kill to be pregnant, but it is very uncomfortable and exhausting.

When baby's out, I feel like I'll be able to start enjoying life again. Right now just get as much rest as you can when you can - try not to feel guilty, it'll be over soon and I bet your DD's are going to love the new baby!

[JODIEhavingababy]

SK, Just found this thread, sorry that your still feeling so low! I reckon you let your girls loose in the garden today and sit down and do nothing... Don't even touch those sofa cushions!

Don't feel bad about moaning to us over on the ante natal thread, that is EXACTLY the reason we are there, we all have our up and down days, and the rest of our pregnancy's are going to fly by, I promise! These last weeks are the hardest ones, but look how much we've been through already!

Hope you feel a little better soon, just wish I was closer to give you a hand!